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Temptation Island - Season 4 - Episode 08: Where Are You Sleeping?
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00:02Previously on Temptation Island.
00:04If I see him having sex with another girl, I will be very, very heartbroken.
00:09Keep it in your pants.
00:12Marissa looks stunning.
00:17Irish is looking good.
00:18She's looking like a little snack.
00:20I feel like Deke is someone who I would love to take on a date.
00:25I'm really looking forward to seeing you and having a conversation about where we stand.
00:28I love you dearly.
00:30Hearing LaSalle say, I love you, definitely made me question, did he really love me this
00:34whole time?
00:35I just need to process me feeling guilty about making her feel sad.
00:41I'm probably not going to send one.
00:43Oh.
00:43I don't have shit to say.
00:48There is no message.
00:50I haven't felt as far away from her as I do now.
00:55You're not going to tell me.
00:59You'll never forget me.
01:02You're not going to tell me.
01:04Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:09You're not gonna tempt me
01:12You'll never forget me
01:16You're not gonna tempt me
01:25I've been thinking about you all day
01:28Giving your picture with me always
01:31But it's just not the same, you know
01:36I was really hoping to get a video from Ash today
01:40And I didn't get that
01:42I desperately want to figure out why she didn't send a clip
01:47It's okay
01:49I know you just couldn't find the words to say
01:51I know we'll get the chance to talk
01:54I love you
01:56I can't wait to see you
01:58To hear you
02:01How's it going, brother?
02:06Talk to us, man. How you feeling right now?
02:09Well, I didn't get a message
02:10You didn't get a message, dude?
02:12What?
02:13At all?
02:14Nothing
02:16Maybe she's angry at me for something
02:18Maybe she's embarrassed because
02:21She did what she did
02:23I just know that she didn't have the words
02:26This is tough, so I'm so sorry, bro
02:28Because I know that's something you were just yearning for
02:30Just to hear from her side
02:32And you'll get it
02:33It's just to have to wait a little longer, unfortunately
02:37You tell me that you know I'm gonna break my heart
02:49The video message has actually really solidified my stance with Hanya
02:55At this point, I don't think I'm going to be seeing any type of growth that's gonna matter to me
03:03Who would like to share?
03:05I want to know if you got a video
03:06I did
03:07Whoa
03:09No video would have been better
03:11To not have some performative piece of shit
03:14Was he crying?
03:15No
03:16Instead, it all sounded like this rehearsed monologue
03:20And it's just like
03:20Can you not just be a f***ing genuine human being for once?
03:24Like rawness something
03:26Feel f***ing something
03:30I don't know that he's learned anything
03:32He admitted he's been cheating on me
03:34Humble bragging about
03:35Hey, two weeks ago?
03:37Ha, before
03:38Just before we got here, I was hit up for a booty call
03:40Yeah, you groaned so much
03:42Well, this just reaffirms things for you even more so
03:44I'm just like f***ing heartbroken
03:55Thank you
03:57She's put me through a lot of pain
03:58And I don't really feel like letting her affect my emotions so much anymore
04:02There's just too much pain there, you know?
04:04Yeah
04:05You know, Ashley sent a message
04:07My initial feelings were obviously I love and miss her
04:09But that's not gonna change how I move forward
04:12I'm gonna continue like working on myself
04:14Working on our relationship
04:16But I love this girl
04:18I do not want to drop her
04:19I want to do everything in my power to keep her my life
04:22Just as a friend
04:23I don't have anything to say right now
04:25I really don't
04:26I'm trying to...
04:29Yeah, cause I need a process too
04:32Obviously I know that this is a hard decision for anybody
04:36Like seven years, that's a long time
04:38But at the same time when you've exchanged words
04:41You've said I love you
04:42And it's just looking like you want your cake and eat it too
04:45Honestly, this is like a dagger to the heart
04:49Take your time processing it
04:50I gotta do what's best for me
04:51Yeah
04:52Sounds good?
04:53Yeah
05:04Where's your headspace at?
05:06I'm just going to continue to do whatever makes you happy
05:08Like do me whatever
05:09But if somehow I see like he's growing or learning
05:13Or is a changed person
05:16We could possibly talk about it and make it work
05:19You like wanting to get back with him?
05:21Or like what?
05:23Kind of right now I don't want to put like anyone before me
05:27No
05:27So now I'm asking myself what do I want for myself?
05:31Feels like she's trying to keep herself anchored to LaSalle
05:34With the hopes of getting back with him
05:36And it kind of sucks for me
05:38Cause I'm getting these feelings for Ashley
05:40It just seems like I'm trying to fight against something that's immovable
05:44Maybe he does deep down sound love me
05:46But all this time he wasn't really thinking about me
05:49And thinking about how I felt
05:50I don't want to go back to Ashley day one
05:52I really see me growing
05:54And almost at the end where I can show everyone who I am now
06:00And I feel like I don't know if LaSalle's is growing
06:03But I need to see the growth
06:05You shouldn't want to go back to something that he was so easily willing to just let go
06:10He deserve everything
06:14I feel like he's accepting things
06:17He needs to be free and on his own journey as well
06:20I think you've grown as a person from when I met you to who you are now
06:24And that's cool to see
06:25I just need to figure out what to do about the promise ring
06:28Yeah
06:29The promise ring comes down to what it symbolizes to you
06:33And if it's still meaningful in that way
06:36Then I don't think you should keep wearing it
06:38But I feel like if it's something that
06:42Hey, we had a great relationship
06:44And forever that you guys will have a connection to each other in some way
06:49I don't think the ring's a bad thing
06:51Yeah, okay, cute, because I want to wear it
06:53Originally it was like a cheating test for him
06:55Now it's like, okay, you haven't cheated, but now you're just f***ing annoying
07:01But he knows you need to step up
07:03Yeah
07:03Just hold him, yeah, more accountable
07:06And settle to meet him
07:08That's what you've got to tell him straight up to
07:09It's like, don't be texting girls who used to f***
07:11For emotional support
07:12Point blank period
07:14You know, once you sit down
07:15It's so stressful waiting until the end
07:17Oh, I know
07:17Cause a lot can still happen
07:19I want Iris to realize that she's a dime
07:21And she shouldn't settle for chump change
07:24I know, like, I haven't done anything with anybody
07:27Yeah
07:27Just a couple splits and some ass shaking never hurt anyone
07:29Exactly
07:34Walking into this, I told you how hesitant I was
07:37To even get in this vulnerable position with you
07:40Yeah
07:40And then it's like, okay, you know, fast forward
07:43And now you're saying you love me
07:44But then still kind of pushing me away at the same time
07:47Yeah
07:48It's confusing and here I am again
07:51Questioning, you know, your intentions
07:52And questioning like, okay, can I really trust him emotionally?
07:56I'm very on the fence with a lot of what I do and what I say
07:59Because I try to be respectful for both parties
08:02But I know I'm doing a disservice to you
08:04And myself and what we have
08:06I've put up specific barriers and boundaries
08:09That kind of comes in the way of our love for each other
08:12So I'm gonna do what I have to do
08:15To make sure that you know that I love you
08:17In an action-based way
08:19So I'm not gonna be sleeping on any more cots anymore
08:47I love skateboarding
08:49And what better person to go with than Juicy?
08:51I'm gonna show her how it's done
08:54Ooh, and he stuck the landing
08:57So that's how you fall
08:58Okay
08:59I know in the past from what Luke has told me
09:01That Iris isn't great at giving positive feedback
09:04I don't know if he has the self-confidence
09:06To give it to himself
09:08I would be concerned about Luke reverting back to his old ways
09:11Why do you think that you came on this island
09:14Rather than y'all just going to couples therapy?
09:17There's no couples therapy that's gonna put me in a house with 12 women
09:22And tempt me
09:23Because like if I make it through a house with 12 beautiful women
09:26And I'm not cheating on her
09:27I'll be really happy
09:28I'm very proud
09:29Hey, cheers
09:31Cheers to loyalty
09:32Loyalty
09:33The new loyal Luke
09:35Loyal Luke
09:36Love to see it
09:44What a glorious day
09:46Fantastic
09:48Whoa, a bee suit
09:51Super cool
09:52Open this up just in case you want to make out
09:55Honey cocktail
09:56You can bartend, right?
09:57I can't
09:58Oh, we got a squirter
09:59I think Deke is really cute
10:01He's very funny
10:02He has a great sense of humor
10:04Two ounces of rum
10:05No
10:06No?
10:07I got it
10:11So generous
10:12And I obviously have been like kind of a fangirl for a while
10:16So I think that we'll have some good laughs
10:19That's really good
10:20That's really good, yeah
10:21Wow
10:22What'd you say I'd pop this bee suit off and go?
10:24Let's do it
10:29Girl
10:29How are you feeling?
10:30Where are you at?
10:31Like leaving with him?
10:32I know you have to sit down with him and everything
10:33Like are you?
10:34Yeah, I mean
10:35I really
10:37I really
10:38Want to leave with him
10:39If he can prove to me that he realizes
10:42Exactly why he broke my trust
10:44Like you gotta challenge yourself to
10:47Hold yourself to a higher standard than that
10:50He's broken your trust so many times that it's like
10:53Like what can he change now but you know
10:55I guess when I talk to him again
10:57At the final bonfire
10:59I'll really see what he has to say
11:01And if it sounds like he hasn't really changed
11:03Or come up with a plan to change then
11:07Yeah
11:07I'd say see ya
11:08Yeah
11:09Cause you know
11:10You deserve that shit so
11:13Yeah
11:13Stay true to that
11:14I'm really hoping he realizes it
11:16And if he doesn't then
11:19I'm gonna have to leave on my own
11:21Yeah
11:22No
11:23Or with someone else
11:24Who knows
11:26I have not been the best version of myself
11:29In my relationship with Luke
11:32And a part of me always felt like
11:34Maybe I wasn't good enough
11:35Now I'm realizing
11:37I do deserve an amazing love
11:38And I deserve to be fully happy with myself
11:41Don't give me the side shoulder
11:42Oh my, fine
11:49Today we are cleansing everything that's made us feel trapped
11:53And we're here to release all of that
11:56So we're going to make a sage bundle together
12:00Beautiful
12:01What do you want to cleanse yourself of?
12:04Um, to cleanse my soul
12:07So all of the things that keep you trapped
12:09Yes, everything
12:10Okay
12:10For me, I am cleansing all of the negative programming
12:16I've been given by this person
12:19I chose to be in a relationship with
12:21All of the thoughts that I'm not enough
12:24I'm letting go of all of it
12:25Because I'm not too much
12:26He's just too little
12:28And I want to be as much as I am
12:31If not more
12:33How do you feel?
12:36Different
12:37Different? Good? Different?
12:39Mm-hmm
12:39Good
12:40You seem different
12:42I've never had any type of cleanse
12:43It's a very different experience
12:45But Ash is into it
12:47And I'm happy to have been here to please Ash
12:49And make her feel very comfortable in her own shoes
12:52Crazy how we've come this far
12:54I will say the difference between you when I first met you
13:00Versus today
13:01Is a very big change
13:03In a positive manner
13:05I can't go back to who I was
13:07In order to be with Hanya
13:09And I'm really grateful
13:11For the fact that you can kind of keep me
13:14Out of those moments of weakness
13:15Where I'm like
13:16Well, what if he's the only person that won't leave?
13:20But
13:22Gotta take it day by day
13:40Just being outside and in the sun and playing in the water is really special
13:44And I'm glad I could share that with Karina
13:47Amazing
13:47So cute
13:49Can I fix you a little drink here?
13:51Heck yeah
13:52So what is something you want to know about me that you don't know?
13:57Um
14:01Asking the questions
14:01You don't give a
14:02No, I just like
14:03No, it's not that I don't give a
14:05It's just
14:06Jesus Christ
14:06Quality time is like my number one love language
14:10And that's how I learn about people
14:11It's just their actions
14:13And not like the answers to stupid questions
14:15Like what's your favorite color?
14:17Asking basic questions
14:19Is kind of like a way to get to know someone
14:23Like do you know Ash's favorite color?
14:25No
14:26What kind of a shit am I that like doesn't know his girlfriend's favorite color?
14:31I really haven't paid attention
14:32But it's not just me that has wronged here
14:36She could have got her shit together and sent me a message
14:38And that really hurt that she didn't have that in her to do that
14:42I don't know what it was
14:44Other than she didn't have the words for a message at that moment
14:47I don't know the reason
14:49But it really would have been nice
14:51Shall we?
14:52Give me a hug
14:59I love having the time alone with Marissa
15:02It makes it a lot easier to understand how I'm feeling with Marissa
15:06And I think it helps Marissa too to understand how she's feeling with me
15:10I feel like I've known you before
15:12I feel like I've known you for a long time
15:15It's only been like a couple weeks
15:19I feel like maybe
15:22I don't know
15:23We had some kind of relationship in our previous lives
15:25Mhm
15:27I hope that we can still continue
15:31I would love to
15:32Okay
15:34So you gonna pet me?
15:36Uh, if you let yourself be pet me
15:37Mhm
15:38Okay
15:42We can take a ride to the coast
15:44We can take it nice and slow
15:46Oh, don't you wanna
15:49Don't you
15:51You're one of my favorite people of all time
15:53Yes!
15:54You're one of my favorite people
15:54Top two
15:55Top two
15:56I can deal with that
15:57I ain't gonna tell you who's number one
15:58I already know who's number one
15:59Who?
15:59My mama?
16:02Your mama number one
16:03You'll meet her
16:04She's cool
16:05We'll figure out those next steps
16:07But like, I would say I'm ready whenever you are
16:10I'm ready whenever you are
16:11What?
16:11You the one that has to make some decisions
16:13You're right, you're right
16:14So let's start with that first
16:16That seven year relationship that I have
16:19I think, you know, I think we've hit our limit
16:21Anything can happen at the final bonfire
16:23So who knows
16:24But when it comes to this new era full of sales
16:27I'm really looking forward to seeing where Tracy and I go
16:30I think our future is super bright
16:33Mhm
16:33Your passion, your high drive
16:36Motivates me to continue working on my own business and myself
16:39So like, it makes me feel good knowing that, you know
16:41I'm gonna have a partner that
16:43Is like striving for greatness all the time
16:46Every time we have like
16:48A family gathering
16:49They always ask me like
16:50Oh, where's your future at?
16:51Where's your future at?
16:52Oh, I see it
16:52You know what I'm saying?
16:54I'm really big on exploring the world
16:56And I know what I want
16:57And so I'm really trying to be with someone
17:00Who is confident in what he's deciding to do as well
17:04And I just think that like, at this age
17:06I'm not compromising for anything
17:08I want to have my partner involved with my family
17:12And so I told myself
17:14The next person that meets my mama
17:16Gotta be the person, so
17:18Got you
17:18I'm really looking forward to our future
17:20Me too
17:22Cheers to that
17:23Cheers
17:24Cheers
17:27You look so nice
17:28You do too
17:29No, I'm just like
17:31You look so cute
17:32You look so cute
17:33Get closer
17:35Give me one more
17:36You're doing cheap for me
17:40No, I had to go
17:41Yeah, no
17:41This is amazing time
17:45Mmm
17:47There you go
17:52Oh, wow
17:53There's a rainbow through it
17:54I used to do this with my grandfather actually
17:57But he would always set it up for me
17:58Really?
17:59That's cool
17:59It's something fun to do
18:00Yeah, I miss him
18:01I think I definitely know how I feel about Tommy
18:04I have some hesitations
18:06But I know I really, really like him
18:07And I think he's less eager to get into something after this than I am
18:13I'm definitely gonna miss you if we don't continue speaking or whatever
18:18Um
18:19So that'll be hard
18:21When it comes to you and me, like
18:23And I've told you a million times, you know
18:27I absolutely love being around you and going on these dates and enjoying our time together and having fun
18:33But outside of this there's a lot of big things that I can't really get around
18:43Like I've done long distance and I know for a fact that it's something that I can never do
18:49But sometimes you can just live in the moment
18:53I'm happy I'm here
18:54Me too
18:56It's hard for me because I really don't wanna lose this
19:00I'm really happy with this
19:03Look at some stars?
19:04Yeah, let's do it
19:05I think Tommy used to hold back a lot and now he's not holding back as much, which I'm really,
19:11really happy about
19:13See, this is why I don't wanna leave
19:15Yeah, well, right now I'm not thinking about going home
19:19Really?
19:20Thought we said live in the moment
19:21Yes
19:22Are you just one of my fixations?
19:29I-it-it
19:32I'm not gonna-I hate
19:34No I'm not gonna-I hate
19:49I hate
19:49I hate
19:49I hate
19:49Stop that what you're do-I-we got to turn it up
19:51Yeah
19:52Oh, my God
19:52Yeah
19:54Let's go follow me
19:55Hey, bring the party, let's go, come on, let's go.
19:57Let's go.
20:00Hold me back, hold me back, hold me back.
20:03I like that.
20:05You like it?
20:06A lot.
20:07Okay.
20:07Yes.
20:09I really do want to spend my future with you.
20:12Obviously, when I look into your eyes, it's like, I know you get shy.
20:16I am so shy, that's the crazy part.
20:22Love you.
20:23I love you too.
20:24Oh, you said it, you said it.
20:26You said it.
20:28You said it.
20:31I knew you felt it.
20:32I knew you felt it.
20:33Oh, man.
20:47Thank you for coming to my banger extravaganza.
20:51Yes.
20:51They call me Denim Deke.
20:52I got the green, okay?
20:54Every other party has been dog water.
20:56This party is going to be bananas bonkers off the wall.
20:59I'm talking a vibe by itself.
21:01I'm talking splits.
21:02I'm talking jello shots.
21:03Hey.
21:04I'm telling you, this will be like no other before.
21:07Hey.
21:08So, we're going to have a dance off.
21:10The ladies are the judges.
21:11So, just dance your heart out, okay?
21:13One, two, three.
21:14Let's go.
21:15Hey.
21:16Yes, honey.
21:17Let's go.
21:18Geez.
21:19Oh, my God.
21:23Woo.
21:24Woo.
21:25Woo.
21:27Woo.
21:27Woo.
21:29Woo.
21:32Woo.
21:32Frankie hipz.
21:33Okay.
21:33Take him off.
21:34Mikey with the hipz.
21:38Woo.
21:40Woo.
21:40Woo.
21:43Hanko.
21:45Woo.
21:48Woo.
21:48Let me know who I would be.
21:49Yeah.
21:50Iris, you announce it.
21:51All right, and the winner of the dance contest tonight is...
21:56I believe in you, I believe in you.
21:57Dee!
22:03I don't want to toot my own horn, but toot, toot, toot.
22:06Best party ever.
22:08That's my first time ever trying a backflip, ever.
22:11And you know what?
22:11I risked it for the biscuit.
22:13All right, let's move this party inside.
22:15Enjoy!
22:15That was good, you guys, all of you.
22:17I can't believe it.
22:18That's a medicine right there.
22:21What happened?
22:22The sounds, tell us the teeths.
22:23I love her, and I do love her.
22:25Like I told her, this is not the first time I've told her,
22:27but I think me saying it more and more kind of makes it real.
22:30And she...
22:30Did she say it back?
22:31She said, I love you too.
22:33That's all I wanted.
22:34That's all I wanted.
22:36You got that, you got that.
22:38And you got that shit in a bag.
22:39How do you think Ashley is going to take this?
22:43Obviously, I still love her, but I do want to keep in contact
22:46with her just checking up on her and making sure she's good.
22:48Yeah.
22:48She's already been a huge inspiration in my life already.
22:51Good.
22:51Yeah.
22:51And she's motivated me to be a better person.
22:54That means a lot to me.
22:55You want to take a little shoddy?
22:57Let's take a shoddy.
22:57Let's take a shoddy.
23:10Let's take a shoddy.
23:16And at this point, I'm a little fed up,
23:18and I'm a little annoyed.
23:19My thing is, I would rather you be honest with me
23:23and just be like, Trace, you're an amazing person.
23:26But considering our situation, I thought we should take it slow.
23:30And I can maturely accept that.
23:33But I can't accept someone saying that they love me,
23:37and they want to meet my family,
23:38and they're willing to move across country for me
23:41if I feel like that's not true.
23:44Because I'm fighting for love in two different places.
23:48It's because I still love Ashley because I care about her.
23:53I love Trace because the idea of losing her,
23:55even though we just met, kind of breaks my heart.
23:58But I never, never want to disrespect Ashley.
24:01And I'm trying to do this in a smart way
24:03where I'm not breaking hearts.
24:04It's going to make me feel worse as a person.
24:08Life is what you made you.
24:10I made mine.
24:11Every day gets in the dark.
24:12See, I can't be silent.
24:14I got you.
24:15I got you.
24:16We got new arms.
24:21Ben's arms.
24:22Ben's arms.
24:23Ben's arms.
24:26Ben's arms.
24:28No.
24:30You're amazing.
24:32Stop.
24:32You're amazing.
24:34Sexy-ass couple.
24:36Y'all, you're hot.
24:37You're hot.
24:38Boom.
24:38Enough said.
24:40Oh, shit, the chair.
24:44You ruined the chair.
24:48Oh, shit.
24:49Oh, shit.
24:50Oh, shit.
24:55That's not what the confessional is for.
24:57It's to speak your heart out.
24:58So confess.
25:00I confess.
25:01Confess now.
25:02My name is Tommy, and I like to party.
25:05You literally torture me.
25:07Oh, sorry.
25:08You're so used to a pussy in your life.
25:10You're so used to a pussy in your life.
25:17Tommy is really perfect at times.
25:20I wish he wasn't so perfect all the time.
25:23I'm not ready to just let Tommy go.
25:26So we'll see.
25:29Are you sleeping?
25:30Who is that?
25:31Who is that?
25:32Who is that?
25:32Who is that?
25:32Who is that?
25:33I don't know.
25:34I had the best time ever with him.
25:37You know, having Tommy's arms around me, it feels really good.
25:40But I'm definitely very happy that we have tonight.
25:44I'm really grateful he's here.
25:47Here we go.
25:49Watch it blow.
25:50Take your time.
25:51Promise.
25:51Underneath your fingers.
25:53Where I want to linger.
25:54No.
25:58No.
26:01It's feeling so good right now.
26:05It feels so good right now.
26:07Yeah, yeah.
26:09It feels so good right now.
26:11Oh, oh, oh.
26:14Tommy not doing this now?
26:15Are you, you better hold your piece?
26:17Hey, that's just too hot and cold.
26:19Ashley straight up gonna break links harder than me.
26:22Can't see.
26:23I don't know why I walked away from the same building.
26:26your nails look wonderful thank you you did them yourself i did
26:33do you think people can change change on this experience or change within hanya
26:39because that's not changing in my head what if he's the only person that won't leave
26:46he's not for you and it's been clear as day in the last experience on this island
26:52he was a game he was playing ash she still keeps going back to the thought process
26:58what if he's the only one that won't leave so i don't even know what to do at this point
27:03don't let it be a thing that lights a little fake light bulb of is he the only one who's
27:09gonna be
27:09there so how was your date that's good yeah i was just trying to talk to her that hold a
27:19higher
27:19standard for yourself she can't be wasting her whole life with the asshole so the funniest thing
27:25i told her is that i haven't even seen him and he just sounds like a you haven't seen it
27:28i don't
27:29even know what he looks like he's literally a grade a tool bro yeah he makes a lot of money
27:33he's insecure like you make all this money and you split a check with a girl you're a beta and
27:40she's
27:40so sweet and like i know that's it it's sad to me
27:55that's what i'm talking about i think he thinks i'm still in love with hany i hate having this tension
28:01between me and taylor but he needs to also remember panya has been in my life
28:09and i don't want taylor to feel like he's not important to me or that he's just like this quick
28:14fix and something i'm going to throw away when i'm done i want him to talk to me and i
28:19don't know how
28:19to fix it and it's killing me this morning yeah she said you know what if he's the only one
28:27that'll
28:27stick around and we've had a connection she's made me come out of my shell and tell her things
28:32i've never told anyone but she just went back to square one i feel like that video message her up
28:38it did and but she's the one who said oh it's so fake it's all written yeah i don't know
28:43how
28:43she would go back to him after all the things that have been said i mean you don't deserve to
28:48be a band-aid
28:48and i also think she deserves to grow and to grow you have to walk through that fire and feel
28:54that pain
28:55just be alone and figure out what you want so what about you have anything to talk about you and
29:00tommy the biggest roller coaster here i just if like in my life when things have been hot and cold
29:06i would have walked away already like we really are good now but i always say that and then there
29:12comes
29:12a point where i'm like bro what is happening again i don't know we're both in limbo i got different
29:18things different situations yeah i don't know why everything's so complicated
29:30i think marissa and i are a little more comfortable with each other so that's nice
29:36that feels good it's taking it one day at a time enjoying every single moment you know
29:44i have mixed feelings about all of this but up until this there wasn't really any stress like
29:50that in our relationship you know yeah i mean it's only been a year and a half so i wouldn't
29:55expect
29:55there to be a whole bunch of stress i'm like hurt by my own shortcomings and my own failures in
30:02the past
30:02you know yeah it's all of it and that's where like my mixed feelings are right now
30:14like i feel like i've never seen loss without trace true although like yesterday when i came
30:19to work out and we were talking i went back in and she's like are you guys like actually going
30:24to
30:24get you a workout i heard her say that was she saying anything like why does she have to be
30:28talking
30:29to him kind of i had a feeling but you know what it he's like my big bro if you
30:33have insecurities
30:34about me talking to him no not that i don't think it's insecurities i think she just gets
30:38plot twist what if he went home with one of us oh my gosh plot twist he goes home with
30:43his
30:43girlfriend yeah dude anything can happen yeah don't you worry baby i'll protect you now
30:52like what do you think like she's gonna say if she sees that
30:57i think it's just gonna really catch her off guard i know it's gonna hurt her
31:02i don't take anything back you know do you think that if she saw whatever she sees she's
31:08gonna be jealous and like want you back i think initially yeah it could be that we're
31:14on the same page i know initially she's gonna get jealous marissa and i got a little intimate
31:21a clip of that will be shown to jillian it's going to be a completely different life
31:26when i leave this island
31:54i'll be ready
31:57the greatest love of my life i guess worst case scenario is to hear her say she doesn't love me
32:03anymore what's up guys one of these days we're gonna have a chance to hang out and not be deep
32:10this is not one of those days yeah i need to let you know that this is our final bonfire
32:18before you
32:19sit here with your partners okay so as much as you've shared with me about how much you've changed
32:27and how much you have learned i assure you the same is happening in the other villa there's a last
32:34chance
32:35you're going to get a peek into that you ready let's do it yeah i think we'll start with you
32:41tonight
32:41luke okay here we go it's like see ya stay true to that i'm really hoping he realizes it and
32:50if
32:50he doesn't then i'm gonna have to leave on my own yeah she can't be wasting her whole life with
32:58an
32:59asshole he's literally a grade a tool bro he makes a lot of money he's insecure like you make all
33:06this
33:06money and you split a check with a girl you're a beta wow that's a lot of judgment
33:17i get where iris is saying that's that's what i can focus back to at the end of this i
33:20mean
33:21what did you hear her say if he doesn't understand then i'm gonna have to to leave him
33:27i don't know what it is that i need to understand but i'm excited for her to see
33:33that i can understand listen and just use my emotional brain first i'm creating a version 2.0
33:39here who you're becoming is your own thing what people think of you we never get to choose
33:46and if it fits it fits and if it doesn't bless their heart like that okay lascelles
33:54like i don't want to have like what if like what if i didn't do that or what if i
33:58didn't do this with
34:00like and i feel like you are supposed to be like in my life for a reason you you do
34:05mean a lot to me
34:06actually like thank you you mean a lot i want to kiss you right now but i feel like it'll
34:13be a little
34:13soon you can kiss me oh you mean that yeah
34:25it feels good feels right
34:33what do you think it looks like she's on a fantastic path on you know becoming more independent woman
34:39like realizing that the romantic side that i was possibly missing it can be found somewhere else
34:44i'm trying to figure out if i'm you would i really be happy and the only way i think i'd
34:49really be
34:49happy is if i fall in love with somebody else have you
34:58yes it's a feeling that i haven't had in a long time that sparked that ashley and i said that
35:02we
35:02were missing you know the last time we saw each other obviously i still love ashley this is my best
35:06friend who sells yeah the mixed message here is a dangerous place to go if we want to respect both
35:13women here absolutely i'd like to hear you define the difference between having love for someone and
35:19being in love with someone when you put it that way i think it's easy for me to declare that
35:24you know
35:25i'm in the in love category with trace and i have love ashley without a doubt okay
35:32hanya here we go baby baby won't you come my way it hurts me to see you in pain
35:44but baby is he worth the way so baby won't you come my way
35:52i didn't think you could get more attractive i was so wrong
36:13i knew before coming here that i was in love with her
36:18and i still feel that way but the real surprise to me is
36:24that i could feel that depth of love at all
36:28what a concept that is huh what a concept that is
36:30and what a beautiful feeling it is it's a helpless feeling yeah i know what i really need
36:37to work on and that's this listening okay let's explore that do you think as you look back to the
36:45older version of you hanya that when she would give you feedback rather than you taking the
36:50feedback you would spin that feedback absolutely i twist people's words into my own
36:58and try to write their stories for them which is a way of appearing to listen but not really listening
37:03exactly there's a lot of you in me i think you're singing in each other too
37:10but sometimes i'll sit on the couch and remember a version of me and audibly go
37:15ugh that's what growth is if it's not too late when you make a shift and you communicate it to
37:22her
37:23or whomever from this point forward it has to be unconditional
37:29glad i believe in you thanks mark okay okay edgar it's your turn let's take a look
37:58i feel uncomfortable but i'm not gonna be a hypocrite because
38:08i've also reached a level of intimacy like that with marissa
38:13how does marissa make you feel i can look at her and i can feel so much comfort and positivity
38:18and acceptance you have an understanding of something real that is love are you finding it here
38:30or are you losing it here i'm not losing love because that's within me i am losing a version of
38:40love
38:42but what you're gaining is a deeper understanding of it yeah maybe yeah yeah
38:49well guys next time you're sitting here you'll be sitting next to your girlfriends who very possibly
38:59have changed as much as you have changed thank you very much gentlemen and you can head back to
39:05your villa thank you sir thank you mark good night boys i'm a different person i have my own back
39:15i don't need jillian to watch out from here have any effect on my feelings i control that
39:35i can see
39:38and it's too late
39:42oh
39:51I'm very scared to go into tonight's bonfire because the previous clips of LaSalle's were not great at all.
39:59I feel like the worst case scenario could be LaSalle's having an intimate connection with this girl.
40:06But I'm really hoping to see a positive change in LaSalle's and just see some type of apology.
40:14Good evening.
40:16Hi.
40:19Ladies, welcome to Bonfire.
40:21You good?
40:22Nervous.
40:22Nervous?
40:23Nervous, for sure.
40:24Ashley, where are you at today?
40:26I'm at a place where I want to see growth.
40:29I want to see him be respectful towards me.
40:31But the pattern so far of these clips are like going downhill.
40:37We'll watch together because I don't know what you're going to see either.
40:41Iris, you're up first tonight.
40:42Okay.
40:43Here we go.
40:45You know, she's not over the past.
40:47She's criticized me a little bit about the trust issues and how I didn't validate her feelings.
40:52So really what I want in this process is I was hoping for is for her to like be able
40:57to hopefully come out of this with a clean slate.
40:59If I'm, you know, maintaining the respect and trust and the promises that we had going in here, give me
41:05some credit.
41:06I want the acknowledgement.
41:07I want the credit.
41:07You need the validation.
41:08You're not getting it there.
41:15What do you think about that?
41:17In the beginning, maybe I didn't make him feel validated enough.
41:20That could be true.
41:22Mm.
41:22Okay.
41:23But I don't think he's taking the accountability that I wanted him to.
41:28But at the same time, I do hear him out.
41:32In the beginning, I did brush him off a lot.
41:36You came here saying you wanted to see a change in Luke.
41:40Yeah.
41:41Um, is that still the reason you're here?
41:43Partly.
41:44Partly.
41:45But I realized I also have a lot of work to do on myself.
41:48And I think a lot of that starts with me knowing my self-worth and what I deserve.
41:56What an incredible insight.
42:00I think so, too.
42:02Hey, good for you.
42:05Thank you, Mark.
42:08Okay, Ash.
42:11Look, you smile and you welcome it now.
42:15All right, let's take a look.
42:16Good luck.
42:23It's okay.
42:24I know you just couldn't find the words to say.
42:27I know we'll get the chance to talk.
42:30I love you.
42:31I can't wait to see you.
42:34It's not just me that has wronged here.
42:37She could have got her shit together and sent me a message.
42:40And that really hurt that she didn't have that in her to do that.
42:44What'd you see?
42:47How are you feeling?
42:48I didn't have the words for a 30-second message.
42:52I did think about how it would affect him, how he might take it.
42:56But I don't feel bad because the same consideration was not given to me in his actions throughout our relationship.
43:09Then what can you ask him when you see him here?
43:12Why did there need to be other women?
43:15That's direct.
43:16I know that I'm worth more than being a sidekick in someone else's story.
43:25So I want you to remind yourself I'm worthy of love.
43:32I'm not someone that gets cheated on.
43:36Right?
43:37Yeah.
43:40Okay.
43:42Okay.
43:43Ashley?
43:45I'm ready.
43:46All right.
43:46Let's do it.
43:49I think our future is super bright.
43:52Your passion, your high drive motivates me to continue working on my own business and myself.
43:58It makes me feel good knowing that, you know, I'm going to have a partner that is, like, striving for
44:02greatness all the time.
44:04You too.
44:04That's the crazy part.
44:06You too.
44:07Love you.
44:10I love you too.
44:11Oh, you said it.
44:12You said it.
44:13You said it.
44:14You said it.
44:17I knew you felt it.
44:21Wow, wow, wow.
44:24I have to ask this question even though it hurts.
44:27How does it make you feel when you hear him say I love you to someone else?
44:31Like, our seven years together wasn't real at all.
44:35Like, did he really love me?
44:38And I just feel so disrespected, hurt, mad.
44:42I definitely don't deserve this at all.
45:01Let me tell you this.
45:03The seven years you've had aren't for naught.
45:07You're learning who you are and what's important to you.
45:10In order for me to become that strong and dependent woman that I see myself, I have to accept what
45:16I'm seeing.
45:17Just let everything out.
45:18Don't bottle anything inside because that's honestly hurting my own growth.
45:22You know, I've said it over again, growing pains.
45:26I wish there was an easier way.
45:28Pain often brings clarity.
45:30It's a road we're all on.
45:33Look around real quick.
45:35I know.
45:36I love you girls.
45:37They're literally my sisters.
45:41Ashley, I know it's painful.
45:43But I see you becoming more independent and stronger.
45:51You're next.
45:52You ready, Jillian?
45:53Last but not least.
45:54Yeah.
45:55Okay.
45:56I feel like I've known you before.
45:58I feel like I've known you for a long time.
46:01It's only been, like, a couple weeks.
46:05Like, maybe...
46:08I don't know.
46:09We had some kind of relationship in our previous lives.
46:13I hope that we can still continue.
46:17I would love to.
46:18Okay.
46:20So you invite me?
46:22If you let yourself be back.
46:23Mm-hmm.
46:24Okay.
46:37Oh, my God.
46:39No way.
46:46Oh, my God.
46:49Holy shit.
46:51Whoa.
46:53What the fuck?
46:53Whoa.
46:54I literally...
46:56Holy shit.
46:58What the fuck?
47:00Whoa.
47:01I can't even...
47:03Oh, my God.
47:05I'm, like, shit, literally shaking.
47:09That is crazy.
47:11That is crazy.
47:13Oh, my God.
47:15I can't breathe.
47:16I can't even breathe.
47:17No.
47:19Oh, my God.
47:26Oh, my God.
47:27You
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