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Temptation Island - Season 4 - Episode 06: Cheers to New Beginnings
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00:02Previously on Temptation Island.
00:05I want you in my bed.
00:07All right, let's go.
00:10Julian, what the f***?
00:12I don't think I can continue to be with her.
00:14I just don't think it's healthy.
00:16Since I started dating ass, I have slept with other people.
00:21And I've literally lied about it already.
00:24I am only romantically interested in traits.
00:28No one else approached me.
00:29I'm only going to talk to Trace now.
01:09You don't know why, but you're thinking of me.
01:25That was a lot.
01:27Well, shit.
01:28That was a lot.
01:29I wish the best for her in life.
01:31I know I'm not, like, crying or anything.
01:34Processing, man.
01:35It takes time to process this.
01:37That's what Hanya just had, dude.
01:39Yeah, you were crying at the bonfire,
01:41and I was like, oh, yeah, no problem.
01:43I figured this out.
01:44I was like, oh, f***.
01:45Are you?
01:52This bullshit is getting to me.
01:56It hurts a lot.
01:59A hell of a lot.
02:01Ladies.
02:01Hi.
02:02Hi.
02:04Hi.
02:04Hello.
02:05Hi.
02:06How was it?
02:06Tell us.
02:07Tell us.
02:08Tell us it all.
02:09A lot of shit happened.
02:10Okay.
02:11I can't wait to hear it.
02:12Hi.
02:14Let it out, baby.
02:14Let it out.
02:15So the first clip, Jillian and What's-His-Name dancing at a party,
02:20and she pulled him in, and they started making out.
02:23And then it went to another clip.
02:26He was in her bed, and he had his shoes in his boxers,
02:29and they were making out.
02:31And it just feels like it's another layer
02:33of her not telling me the complete truth.
02:36I feel betrayed at the way she has behaved.
02:38You know, I thought we were coming to this island
02:40for a certain reason, and it just feels like
02:42it's a completely different reason.
02:44And I feel so manipulated.
02:47I'm done.
02:53I don't want it anymore.
03:01Ponyia and Edgar are really upset.
03:03This is the moment that, like, it really gets real.
03:05Like, this is what they need us for.
03:07It's not all fun and games while we're here.
03:10Yeah, your life's been blinded.
03:13I've seen signs I missed, and now I'm fine.
03:16That underneath your kiss
03:18was a world full of nice and poison.
03:21I can't ignore them.
03:25The thing that the walls are shaking.
03:29The ground is gone from underneath.
03:31That's all you believe.
03:33Oh, hello, everyone.
03:35Hello.
03:35Hi, guys.
03:37Oh, we smiling.
03:38Hey.
03:38Smiley-diamy.
03:39Hello.
03:40You want to come sit?
03:41Yeah, I'll come sit.
03:42Hello.
03:43How are you?
03:44Hi, guys.
03:45How are you guys?
03:46You good?
03:47Mm-hmm.
03:48I always like that.
03:50OK.
03:51We happy.
03:52How's it going?
03:53Everything's good.
03:53He was crying to a girl in that, and, like, he never cries.
03:59He was just, like, literally looking at the camera, being like, Jillian, what the ?
04:04And he said that this isn't not what he wants anymore, and he doesn't really want this relationship
04:09anymore, so.
04:11Oh.
04:14You OK?
04:17He admitted that he slept with other people.
04:20Like sex?
04:21Mm-hmm.
04:22I gave so much of my own happiness trying to help him find his.
04:29It's really good to finally know the truth.
04:34It's like I received this golden key to freedom.
04:40I'm done.
04:41Relieved?
04:41Uh-huh.
04:42Good.
04:49I was, like, holding my shit together in the bonfire, you know?
04:55And I had to watch her sleep with him, you know?
05:02I knew after the first bonfire that I didn't want an open relationship.
05:09And I was, like, OK, I get it now.
05:13Thanks.
05:14Mm-hmm.
05:14You don't have to do any more of that.
05:16But she doesn't know that.
05:17What?
05:18Well, you don't have to talk about it, but...
05:20No, I'm listening.
05:21I'm listening.
05:22I mean, I need help, you know?
05:23I don't know how to deal with this.
05:25What about the times that you did that?
05:32It sucks to see Ash connecting physically with somebody else.
05:35I mean, I would be a hypocrite to say that she can't do that because I have done that.
05:42I have cheated on her.
05:45Going through this experience of, like, feeling those emotions on the other side and, like, what it means to have
05:52those types of relationships.
05:53I hope this just leaves a lasting impression so you make different decisions.
06:12Do you believe it's a break or do you believe it's a breakup?
06:20I don't know.
06:21I think it's a break, maybe.
06:23It's a breakup and that's devastating.
06:25Like, I can't think about a breakup.
06:29LaSalle's transformed into this different guy I never knew even existed in him.
06:36Part of me just wants to, like, just shake him up and, like, put some sense into him.
06:44Because this whole time he wasn't thinking about me or thinking about us.
06:51You might want a break.
06:53Mm-hmm.
06:54And he might still be saying what you want to hear.
06:57But deep down, he actually might want to break up.
07:00Mm-hmm.
07:02And if that is the case, start preparing yourself mentally for that process.
07:14Oh, it's time to jump.
07:17The tides are red.
07:18So let me see.
07:20Well, let me swear.
07:22Oh, the tides are red.
07:24My heart is saying that I really want to work things out themselves.
07:36But my mind is saying to just walk away.
07:42Well, that's why, look, I'm here.
07:52I don't know why.
07:53I think I can.
07:55Yeah, I'm here.
08:02Oh, my God.
08:06Hey, the tides, I say.
08:07Hey, that's right.
08:09Hey.
08:10Hey.
08:10Hey.
08:10Hey!
08:11Hey!
08:11Oh, it's your step, city girl.
08:13Oh, I found a good one.
08:15I'm really excited about this day today
08:17because I love being in the garden.
08:20I love that connection to the earth.
08:26You going to eat with me?
08:27No, I'm not eating that.
08:29I'm going to circulify it like that.
08:32Okay, no, we're good, we're good.
08:34Wow.
08:35Yummy, look at that.
08:40This is silly, but I'm really grateful we're here.
08:43Yeah, me too.
08:44It's a really nice, just like change of pace.
08:48At first, I did feel like I had a lot of feelings.
08:53I mean, I do have feelings for you.
08:55But I think I felt them very intensely
08:57all at once at the beginning.
09:00And I do think it was me kind of like jumping into things,
09:04maybe like way too fast without actually considering
09:07like fully getting to know you.
09:09I felt the same way in the beginning.
09:11And it's just like, you got to take a step back.
09:14I have to realize like why you're here and why I'm here.
09:18There's times where I'm like head over heels for him.
09:21And then there's times where I think I just get kind of scared
09:24of how fast things are moving.
09:28Thanks for being the best friend that I've had.
09:30Oh, thanks for being my best friend I've ever had.
09:40I feel like I'm comfortable with where we're at.
09:43And I don't know if I really want to like move on
09:46from where we're at.
09:47Like, I think I'm good here.
09:49And like, I'm comfortable kissing you
09:51and, you know, having fun in the house and stuff.
09:54But I'm looking for something
09:57that's more than like just like fun.
10:01Do you think you're ready for that right now?
10:03Right after what's going on and being here
10:06and coming here with somebody to be with somebody else?
10:09I don't know.
10:11Yeah.
10:11No, because you're saying that's what you're looking for, right?
10:15To no fault of Jillian's,
10:16I think there are expectations going on.
10:19But at the end of the day,
10:20I hope Jillian finds her independence
10:21and find out what she really wants in life,
10:23without somebody else being around to guide her there.
10:27Like, having our conversations
10:28and the things we've talked about,
10:30I don't think you've ever really experienced
10:32just being alone.
10:33I still enjoy being around you.
10:35But if you've never been alone
10:36and might not know how to be alone,
10:40that scares me.
10:44You know?
10:57This is like the perfect thing right now, too.
11:00This is nice.
11:01I haven't been able to express my artistic abilities
11:05in quite a while.
11:07Yeah, me neither.
11:08Two perfectionists going at it.
11:10Oh, yeah.
11:11I'm really happy Megan got saved
11:13because I'm really having a great time.
11:16I know we have a lot in common
11:17from what I've learned from her at the house,
11:19and I'm just trying to explore that a little bit more.
11:22Are you a good stroker, Luke?
11:24I love stroking.
11:25Great.
11:26That does some short strokes.
11:36I'm really starting to feel the independency.
11:38Yeah.
11:39And it feels great.
11:40I've always been kind of codependent
11:42on boyfriends my whole life.
11:44Right.
11:45I felt like I tried so hard
11:47to impress my parents all the time,
11:49and they didn't really think I was good enough.
11:52Right.
11:53And then I always leaned on boyfriends
11:54to tell me that I was great.
11:56Right.
11:56Or I was amazing,
11:57or to text me good morning,
11:59call me beautiful,
12:00just because I wasn't feeling that from my own family.
12:03I can tell your strength that you have,
12:05you know, and it's nice to see
12:07that you're, like, recognizing that strength
12:09and you're opening up.
12:10That's awesome, though.
12:12That's awesome, of course.
12:16Mmm.
12:21With Taylor, I'm just trying to live in the moment
12:24and not exist in expectation or what will happen.
12:28So I'm open to growing with him and being with him
12:32and figuring out what this means for us.
12:36I like you.
12:38And you are patient and you're sweet.
12:42Just listening to you talk and your ability to be vulnerable
12:46and give me these really sensitive hearts of yourself.
12:51I'm glad you're still here.
12:54I'm glad you revived me.
12:57I wouldn't want to be on this island without you.
13:26So how are you feeling about what you saw last night?
13:29I'm feeling a lot of pain, but I'm also, like,
13:32I'm also feeling a lot of love and compassion.
13:35After thinking about it last night and this morning,
13:37it's just, like, it's coming together for me
13:40that Ash is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with,
13:43and I need to make sure that that's not a knee-jerk reaction,
13:45and I trust Karina to keep me solid and keep me grounded.
13:49I don't know how to describe this.
13:52You know, I've never, like, come out and say, like,
13:56I want to marry somebody.
13:58Let alone know who that is.
14:00And now I know who that is,
14:03and that's what I want.
14:07I think in whatever way you can,
14:10when you do have that final conversation with her,
14:13you're expressing that you have been listening
14:15to what that is, and then doing it.
14:19Yeah, absolutely.
14:20You're awesome.
14:33I'm super impressed with how you took control
14:38of, you know, the painting of the surfboard.
14:41I appreciate you just kind of sitting and enjoying, like, art.
14:43Like, I love museums.
14:44I love, you know, exhibits.
14:47And just expressing, you know, how I feel
14:49and just using that to kind of take over my emotions.
14:52It's kind of my thing.
14:53No, that's, and I appreciate that about you.
14:57I'm not going to lie.
14:57Like, going forward, it's, like,
14:58it's going to just get deeper and deeper,
15:00and we're, like, getting down to, like,
15:02the last few weeks, and I'm just, you know,
15:05trying to wrap my head around this
15:07and see, like, what this means,
15:09because ultimately, like, you do have to make a decision.
15:12I'm ready to, you know,
15:15let Ashley be single as well as me.
15:17I would leave single with Ash.
15:23Being single with Ashley,
15:25I don't know what that means,
15:26but to hear that she's still influencing
15:30how this is going to kind of end
15:33is very concerning,
15:36and I'm just confused
15:38because it's, like, everything we've been through
15:41and talked about,
15:43like, I'm, like, was that not real?
15:45You know, I do, obviously,
15:47there's a lot of steps
15:48before we, you know, make that final,
15:49before I make that final decision.
15:52Is it too good to be true?
16:16I love your hair like that.
16:18It's very swampy.
16:31What's wrong with you guys?
16:32You guys arguing or something?
16:34We didn't argue about anything.
16:35Oh, okay.
16:36Is everything fine?
16:39No, no.
16:40Okay.
16:41I thought it was fine on my end.
16:43I'm a bit confused.
16:44Trace and I had an amazing date,
16:46great conversation, great energy,
16:47and she didn't look like
16:48she was in the best of moods.
16:50It's frustrating
16:50because you just want to get,
16:51you want to get through a day
16:52without any issues
16:53and there's always something.
16:55You guys just need to communicate
16:56and that's all I do.
16:56Yeah, communication is good.
16:59I've been trying so hard
17:02to not have a wall up with him
17:04and to think that all of it's
17:08got to be just for him
17:10to leave single
17:11with his current girlfriend
17:12is very triggering for me.
17:15Hey.
17:16Hey.
17:17Um, I hope I can explain myself
17:20or whatever I did.
17:21I felt bad,
17:22so I wanted to do
17:23something special for you.
17:24And so I just put something together.
17:26Um, I hope you can
17:29appreciate it in any capacity.
17:32Oh, some lovely food.
17:34Yeah, it's cool.
17:36I'm not really hungry right now.
17:39Okay.
17:40Yeah, but thank you.
17:41No problem.
17:42Can I get a hug?
17:45I just need to be by myself right now.
17:50But thank you.
17:51No problem.
17:51I'll see you later.
18:03Let's go.
18:08Tonight we're having a bubbles
18:10and bow tie party.
18:11I honestly don't know what that means,
18:12but I love bubbles.
18:13I love the pool
18:15and I can't wait to have a good time.
18:16I'm trying to dance.
18:19What are you writing, babe?
18:20I put B.B.
18:22Oh, B.B.?
18:23Blake.
18:24Loomenshine.
18:25What are you doing, T.S.?
18:26Well done.
18:27Well done.
18:28Well, let them know.
18:30The kitties got to roll.
18:31Yeah!
18:34All right, B.I. boys!
18:36What's up, professional?
18:38Ah-oh, ah-oh, ah-oh!
18:40Let's get out of there, baby!
18:46Greektops and Garthens!
18:48Woo!
18:50Woo!
18:53We are getting greeked up tonight.
18:57It's a toga party.
18:58I've never even been to a toga party before,
19:00so I'm really excited to let loose on this one,
19:03and I'm feeling really good.
19:05Toga, toga, toga!
19:07Yeah, Marissa!
19:10Wow!
19:11We got to do it!
19:17I wore my greek briefs this evening.
19:19Yes!
19:22Oh!
19:22Cut it!
19:23Oh, how did I count?
19:24Cut it!
19:26Oh!
19:26Oh, cool!
19:27I remember that.
19:28Ah!
19:29That was like...
19:30Aw!
19:31It's coming!
19:32Wait a minute.
19:32Who's that?
19:33Who is this?
19:36There's Deek from season two!
19:38Deek!
19:39Deek!
19:42Deek!
19:44Deek!
19:45Deek!
19:47Deek!
19:48Deek!
19:48Deek!
19:48I'm actually a fan!
19:49I'm a fan!
19:50I decided to return to Temptation Island because my love life has been non-existent since
19:55I left the first time.
19:58Oh, my God.
20:00I didn't get the response that I was hoping for.
20:03Take someone else to clear off all my flowers on your bed and take them to bed.
20:07I guess my flowers didn't mean shit.
20:09I just wanted to come back and find love, so here I am.
20:16Oh, my God.
20:18Deek from season two of Temptation Island, I watched literally all of his posts and videos
20:24on social media.
20:26I'm a fan girl!
20:27So as soon as I see him, it's like seeing a familiar face.
20:31This is not okay.
20:32This is not okay.
20:33Let's have a private girls' chat.
20:35Let's go.
20:36Join the girls' group.
20:38I'm already having a hard time going on dates and shit.
20:40Now this coming in here?
20:42Bro, what are you doing here, my guy?
20:45Tommy!
20:45Hey, no!
20:46Come on, Tommy!
20:47Let's take any one of these girls, bro!
20:50That's a joke, bro!
20:52Come on, now!
20:54Come on, now!
20:56These chicks immediately, they're all like touchy-feely.
20:59And I know, like, I see the connections that are formed.
21:01It's like, change of plans.
21:04I am home.
21:04Daddy's here.
21:05It's like that new kid that comes to school.
21:07You know, everyone's like, but then it's like, hey.
21:10It's like they're kind of scared.
21:12They see you.
21:13They are scared.
21:14I'm a little bit shook right now, and I'm gonna lie.
21:18It's all right.
21:19I just want to go get my mail.
21:20Is that your hand?
21:21Wait, which one?
21:22Wait, which one?
21:25Tommy and I had this, like, whole big talk today.
21:27Now things are kind of weird.
21:31And now we're at the Bowtie and Bubble Party,
21:34and he's, like, back to being all over me.
21:36So I think we're fine again, but we're just hot and cold so much.
21:41It's always hard to tell.
21:43I guess we're going to go.
21:45We had a party two nights ago, and I was, like, dancing on my own,
21:50and I felt so free, and I felt good.
21:52And, like, I've just been like, oh, you know what?
21:54I can be my own independent woman.
21:56But, like, watching everyone, it does get lonely.
21:58I mean, yeah.
22:00Everyone's going to bed with someone else,
22:02and I'm just like, yo.
22:03All right?
22:03And I have the master bedroom.
22:05And I'm just like, what the ?
22:14It feels crazy doing one of these again.
22:17Oh, wow. Okay.
22:24Hey, guys.
22:26A real goddess is here now.
22:28I brought champagne.
22:33Hey, look. Hey, yo, who is this?
22:35Wait.
22:35I'm actually from season two.
22:38So that's why.
22:39I was just about to say, you look familiar.
22:41No, the shower.
22:42Yes, now I remember.
22:43Yeah, the shower.
22:43I'm the shower girl.
22:46I decided to return to Temptation Island
22:49because I want to find love and maybe find my real man.
22:53I do not want to find a David.
22:55We also stay the night together.
22:56And what happened when you stayed the night together?
22:59We had sex.
23:01I feel the love, like, maybe half the room.
23:03So this is good.
23:04No, this is good so far.
23:06Okay.
23:07Look, A.
23:07A.
23:08A.
23:08A.
23:09A.
23:09A.
23:10A.
23:12Who is this?
23:14Who is this?
23:15A little rodeo.
23:16Damn.
23:17Cheers.
23:17I just want to come and have fun with you guys.
23:19Let's hang out.
23:25I could already see on their faces that they were not happy that I wasn't there.
23:31Oh, I might have, like, a little bit of fun with this.
23:35Um, cheers to New Beginnings.
23:39New Beginnings.
23:39Yes.
23:39Here we go.
23:41The oceans are rising.
23:46Why aren't, so how do you feel about Dean?
23:49How do you feel about Dean?
23:49Oh, I'm just having fun.
23:50There's Dean.
23:51How do you feel about me?
23:52How do y'all feel about me?
23:53Love you, girl.
23:54I have.
23:56The gentlemen are not fond of me.
23:58You know, an absolute stallion enters the room, and I would be shook too.
24:02We all, Dean just had a kick the other day.
24:04They chop boys out.
24:05And we all here as a family to come in here like,
24:08I got damn dates like, bro.
24:13Hey, but that ain't me.
24:14You just did that.
24:15Hey, hey, hey, hey.
24:15Hey, I don't come in here.
24:17I ain't gonna come in here little dick energy.
24:19What's your name?
24:19What's your name?
24:20What's your name?
24:20It's not little dick energy, bro.
24:22It's being respectful when you come in here, bro.
24:24It's not little dick energy.
24:26Don't let me walk with you.
24:32Don't let me walk with you.
24:36Like a bomb I'm about to blow.
24:38Cut the red and the blue wire.
24:40Oh, you don't know.
24:40I'll give you one more chance to get out my face.
24:43Hey, bro, man, bro, come in here, man.
24:45At Tuesday, I watch it.
24:47Look at you, shoot!
24:49Stop!
24:49What the hell?
24:50Taylor comes at me saying I'm on some disrespectful stuff,
24:54and I'm not here for them, so I don't care.
24:56I can take all the smoke, talk to me for 30 minutes,
24:59and then, you know, tell me you hate me after that.
25:02All of you, all of you are.
25:05He needs to back up all of you.
25:07He needs to stop.
25:09It's really unflattering.
25:11Y'all think I'm playing?
25:12I'll take all the smoke.
25:13I ain't no pussy.
25:18I am still confused.
25:20So let's sit here apart from all that shit.
25:24I have deep feelings for Trace, and the idea of losing her,
25:29even though we just met, kind of breaks my heart.
25:31It kind of tears me down because I know
25:33we have something strong.
25:34I've been walking a fine line this whole time,
25:37and I think it's very unfair if I keep playing this game
25:41because I know she's eventually going to just lose hope for me.
25:44What I told Trace was that I would leave single with Ash.
25:49What the do you mean?
25:52Yes.
25:52That was me trying to be a safe person.
25:55I just don't know what the they're talking about.
25:57Who's talking out there?
26:01I don't like disappointing people.
26:09I know I said the wrong thing, but if you love me and you truly care, you communicate.
26:17She is communicating.
26:22She is.
26:24This whole time, she is like, I know who I am.
26:27Do you know who you are?
26:29Are you ready for this shit?
26:32She needs to know that.
26:34And it is as simple and as complicated as that.
26:41You're right.
26:42No, you are absolutely right.
26:50Good night.
26:51Sleep well.
26:52I will.
26:53I will.
26:54Tonight was fun.
26:55It was.
26:56It was definitely fun.
27:00I will.
27:02I will.
27:02I will.
27:03I will.
27:03I will.
27:05Tonight was fun.
27:07In here.
27:09Hey, stop.
27:11Like.
27:12What?
27:13That.
27:14That right there.
27:15Stop that.
27:18Stop.
27:20I mean.
27:21I mean, bullshit.
27:23We can still be something without always being around each other.
27:28And I don't think she understands that yet.
27:31Me not wanting to sleep in your bed is not me saying, I don't like you.
27:38Okay?
27:39The next person you commit to, it needs to be someone that gives you your space and takes
27:49their own space.
27:50Love isn't obsessing over someone.
27:53That's not love.
27:55That is not love.
27:57Like, if it was Edgar, I feel like he would have, like, stayed with me through the night
28:01and, like, cuddled me and coddled me all night.
28:07See you in the morning.
28:08Okay?
28:10I don't know.
28:10This man is something different.
28:12I really don't know.
28:19Talk to me.
28:30I probably messed up with how I delivered my message this morning.
28:34Yeah.
28:35I've dedicated all my time, my emotions, my thoughts to you since day one.
28:40To hear you even say some shit like what you said this morning.
28:46That was me protecting Ashley.
28:47I'm done with that.
28:48I'm done with that.
28:49I promise you, I'm done with that.
28:51I only want you.
28:53Forget Ashley.
28:54She's in the past.
28:55She hates to be single.
28:56I need to be with you.
28:58I need you in my life as a girlfriend, future, wife.
29:04That's without a question.
29:06And I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make that a reality.
29:11I love you.
29:13You know what I'm saying?
29:15I care about you so much.
29:18I can't see my life without you.
29:21That's it.
29:22That's it.
29:23I'm going to be there for you.
29:25Everything you dreamed of, I'm going to be there for you.
29:28LaSalle expresses that he loves me.
29:31And I'm so happy to hear that.
29:33And so I just hope that he's really trying to progress our relationship.
29:39Oh.
29:45Thank you so much.
30:08Do you miss LaSalle's a lot?
30:10I do.
30:11Today I miss him a lot.
30:13I miss Luke a lot today.
30:15Jeez Louise.
30:20A lot of people, especially Tommy,
30:22have been talking about how I'm afraid to be alone.
30:26I've realized now that I've had, prior to Edgar,
30:29a lot of detached situations.
30:32But now I want someone who might shake things up.
30:35I think the reason why it's scary for me to move on from my relationship with Edgar
30:41is because he was the first person I've ever been with who got past those walls.
30:48I think I can find somebody who I can be vulnerable with,
30:52and I can put my walls down and let in,
30:54who maybe is a better match for me.
30:57I think it's been really great for me to be vulnerable with you,
31:00and I think that was, like, huge for me.
31:02It's good.
31:03Thanks, Tommy.
31:04You really were a big part of it.
31:07I'm glad.
31:09Good shit.
31:09Absolutely.
31:12Nobody said this would be easy.
31:16No, they say for the faint of heart.
31:21Okay, ready?
31:22One, two, three.
31:24Oh, God.
31:25Oh, wow.
31:27Woo!
31:31Eddie, my main man.
31:33Hey, Trace.
31:33How you doing?
31:34I'm great.
31:35I definitely wanted to, like, just keep it real with you
31:38and just, you know, talk to you about some things that I've been observing.
31:41Good.
31:42Right now, you're kind of very sold on Marissa,
31:44but, I mean, I just don't think her intentions are pure with you.
31:52I just think there's stuff that goes on behind the scenes.
31:55It's like when we're in these social settings, you know, everything looks great.
31:59But then she goes to us and she's like, oh, well, you know, I'm not trying to be serious.
32:03You know, I like him, but, you know...
32:06You know, I just want to...
32:07She said that?
32:08I mean, yeah.
32:09She has clearly said she has no intention of, you know, having, like, a romantic connection right now.
32:15I definitely need to hear that because I accept things at face value.
32:18Right.
32:18I am not the type of person who, like, questions shit, you know?
32:21Right.
32:21And I need to do that because, I mean, that's what got me in my current situation, you know?
32:26It's like I just believed.
32:29So there's definitely a tug and pull for Marissa.
32:32I just hope she's not keeping me at this distance out of convenience for her
32:38because I feel like that's what Jillian did to me and can't do that again.
32:51The only thing that I want is, like, complete honesty.
32:57Mm-hmm.
32:59Because I just, like, I mean, you tell me something.
33:02Yeah.
33:04But I've heard different things.
33:07I feel like sometimes I just get scared of, like, where it could, like, end up.
33:12I don't want my relationship with Jillian anymore because of the fact that she's been so dishonest with me.
33:20Mm-hmm.
33:21Like, that me up.
33:23Mm-hmm.
33:24And it just feels like you telling me one thing and then me hearing something else feels like the same
33:31shit.
33:32You know what I mean?
33:33Yeah.
33:34And I really value you as a person and as my friend.
33:37I value you as a person too.
33:39But it's like, also, I'm not trying to be let on, you know what I mean?
33:43Okay.
33:44Do you want me?
33:46It is too soon to be, like, I want to be my man.
33:51I'm not asking.
33:52I'm not asking that.
33:53I like him a lot, but, like, I don't know what his true intentions are and I'm really scared.
33:58I don't want to be the one getting hurt in the end if this is all, like, a lie or
34:05just he feels lonely.
34:07Mm-hmm.
34:08Don't take a walk or anything.
34:09Wait, Marissa.
34:16It just sucks because, like, I feel like it's, like, put on me to, like, know what I'm supposed to
34:22be doing and I don't.
34:24I've never been in this kind of situation.
34:28You don't have to know what you're doing.
34:30I want to know what I'm going to do.
34:47To be continued...
35:08Walking into Bonfire, I have so many mixed emotions because I'm trying to weigh my options and I do have
35:17a lot of love for Edgar, but I think maybe I've outgrown our relationship.
35:26Hi, you guys.
35:27Hi.
35:28Hi, Mark.
35:29Hi, Mark.
35:35Ladies, welcome to another bonfire.
35:38How are things going?
35:40Good.
35:41Good.
35:42Now it's time for each of you to watch a clip of your boyfriend's experience on the island.
35:48Iris, we'll start with you tonight.
35:50Okay.
35:53She's putting all the pressure on me to change and be this new guy while she's just coasting along.
35:59And by the time I meet with her again, you know, she's still holding on to the past and she
36:05can't get rid of it.
36:06And she hadn't pulled herself out of this relationship enough to really discover herself because I think a lot of
36:13her dependency on our relationship is holding her back from really shining through her own life.
36:24You're nodding.
36:25What does that mean?
36:26I can agree with some of what he said.
36:30I also do think that he still thinks the past isn't the same as what I think the past is.
36:37Can you be more specific?
36:40Well, the last time he broke my trust was five months ago.
36:42I think he considers that the past already, but to me that's still pretty recent.
36:47How's it going with you and Iris?
36:49I think today I kind of just had all these issues within myself wondering, like, what my end decision will
36:59be.
37:00How do you think ruminating on the future serves you?
37:07It's not really serving me right now.
37:10I think I just need to really focus on what it is I'm here for.
37:15And I think I also have to shut out all the other people's thoughts that I think are bothering me.
37:22I feel like thinking about my parents and what they'll think and, like, our friends back home, all of that
37:29is kind of weighing me down a little bit.
37:31But I need to just shut that out right now and focus on myself.
37:34There's no way to avoid the judgment of others.
37:37Yeah.
37:38Because everybody's got an opinion.
37:40Jillian, you're doing great.
37:42We're going to go to you next, Jillian.
37:44Okay?
37:45Here we go.
37:50Come back!
37:59I don't mind if he dances with a girl.
38:03I'm glad to see that he's having a good time.
38:07In all the other clips he's seen, like, it's been like he's in a lot of pain.
38:12And I think he probably still is feeling that pain.
38:15But I'm glad to see him smiling.
38:17What are you discovering about Edgar and your relationship that you're seeing maybe isn't suiting you?
38:26We're very different, and I think he mellows me out a lot, which I like to an extent, and it
38:35worked for me while I was, like, in college.
38:37But now that we're transitioning to the real world, I feel like I'd like somebody who matches my ambition and
38:45my drive.
38:46Um, we've definitely prospered and grown together, but I feel myself rapidly growing, and I want somebody who's just as
38:56hungry for that.
38:57Okay.
38:58That's a choice you have to make for you.
39:00Yeah.
39:00You know, head, heart, head, heart.
39:03Right?
39:04Mm.
39:05Okay.
39:07Thanks.
39:08Thanks.
39:10Ash.
39:10Oh, God.
39:14That may be the most honest response we've had.
39:18All right.
39:21We were at the hotel quarantining before coming here, and I got a text message from somebody that I had
39:28been
39:28that was like, hey, sir, are you up?
39:32And then wake up so you can me.
39:39And I was like, oh, I'm not there.
39:45I saw that text message.
39:47Oh.
39:48You saw the text message?
39:51Really?
39:52Mm-hmm.
39:52And he didn't know you saw it?
39:53No.
39:54And you didn't tell him you saw it?
39:56No.
39:57Okay, what's that about?
39:58I make excuses because it's easier for me to do that instead of taking accountability for why I've stayed in
40:15something that I knew was really bad for so long.
40:21You seem pretty removed from the sobbing girl I saw on your goodbyes.
40:30And why do you think that is?
40:34I now know and remember what it looks like to be actually wanted by somebody and not just physically.
40:46And can we put a name to that?
40:48Taylor.
40:48Right.
40:51The reason I ask this is because either that answer is another deflection by you or it's actually real.
40:56And that's why I ask who it is because I'm getting the sense that it's real.
41:00Yeah, it's been really enlightening.
41:04I am a fool for love.
41:06No, I'm not.
41:07Not.
41:08You're not a fool.
41:10I'm a hopeful romantic.
41:13All right, Ash.
41:14Keep going.
41:18Okay, Ashley.
41:20Yes.
41:21You ready?
41:22Yeah.
41:23Okay.
41:25I only want you.
41:27Forget Ashley.
41:30I need to be with you.
41:31I need you in my life as a girlfriend, future, wife.
41:38That's without a question.
41:39And I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make that a reality.
41:45I love you.
41:47I can't see my life without you.
41:49I'm all yours, okay?
41:50Okay.
41:51I'm all yours.
41:52You can take that to the grave.
41:57Um, okay.
41:58I'm a bit confused.
42:10We'll see you next time.
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