00:00Hey friends, welcome. Have you ever done something kind and walked away feeling like you needed to check your bank
00:09account, your calendar, or maybe even your heart?
00:13Not because you regret helping, but because kindness has gotten expensive today in ways nobody warned us about.
00:22You offer someone a little of your time and suddenly they need the whole afternoon.
00:28You help somebody financially and then your own bills show up.
00:32You give someone the benefit of the doubt and they take that as permission to do it again.
00:40You try to be generous and somebody asks why you didn't give more.
00:46And somewhere in the middle of all that, a question sneaks into your mind.
00:52Is it even worth it anymore?
00:56A lot of good people are quietly asking that question today.
01:00They still care.
01:01They still want to open doors, reach out, and help.
01:06They're tired of feeling like being decent comes with a bill they never agreed to pay.
01:12And if you felt that way, I want to talk with you today.
01:18Not to tell you to empty your pockets or let people take advantage of you.
01:23Just talk about what kindness is worth and what it costs.
01:29You know, we've all seen sticker shock at the grocery store.
01:33You pick up something familiar, see the price, and think, when did that happen?
01:39I've done that.
01:41You wonder what else you'll have to give up.
01:44I wonder if some of us are doing that with kindness.
01:47We see a person who needs something, and our first thought isn't that we don't care.
01:54It's that we're scared of what helping might cost.
01:58More money.
02:00More time.
02:01More emotional energy.
02:04Maybe another disappointment.
02:07That's not always a hard heart.
02:11Sometimes that's an exhausted one.
02:14And Jesus, well, Jesus understood the difference.
02:20Think about the story of the Good Samaritan.
02:23A man is lying beside the road, beaten and left there.
02:27Other people pass by him.
02:30Then the Samaritan stops.
02:33He tends to the man's wounds, puts him on his own animal, takes him somewhere safe, pays
02:41for his care, and offers to cover any additional costs.
02:47Now that, well, that is generosity with a real price tag.
02:53The Samaritan gave time he hadn't planned to give.
02:57He spent money he could have kept.
03:00He interrupted his own journey for someone who couldn't promise him anything in return.
03:08But here's what stands out to me.
03:11Jesus didn't tell that story to make us admire a man for having a fat wallet.
03:18He told it to show us what it looks like to recognize another human being as our neighbor.
03:26Now, the Samaritan saw a person, not an inconvenience.
03:31And I think that's where the whole conversation changes.
03:36Because sometimes we've reduced generosity to what we can afford to hand over.
03:42But the greatest thing we can give another human being might not be money at all.
03:47It might be the feeling that they aren't invisible.
03:52You know, what it means when somebody really listens.
03:57Have you ever had somebody sit down with you, put their cell phone down, turn off the TV,
04:04and just sit with you and listen to what you have to say?
04:09Not halfway with their full attention, not halfway with their eyes on the phone.
04:16They remember what you said.
04:19They let you finish.
04:21That costs attention, and attention is a precious thing right now.
04:27Or think about the person working at the checkout counter,
04:31getting blamed for prices they didn't set.
04:34A little patience won't pay their rent.
04:38But it might change the next five minutes of their day.
04:42Maybe those five minutes matter more than we know.
04:46Sometimes people are hanging on by a string.
04:50You never know when you're the string.
04:54And the world can make small acts of kindness feel insignificant.
04:58But Jesus once noticed a poor widow giving two small coins.
05:05Other people were putting in larger amounts, yes.
05:08But he noticed what her offering meant to her.
05:12He saw the heart and the sacrifice behind it.
05:17That's worth remembering when you don't have much to spare.
05:21You don't have to compete with somebody else's generosity.
05:25You don't have to put your own family in trouble to prove that you care.
05:32You don't have to make a public display of doing good either.
05:36Some of the most important things we do for other people will never have an audience.
05:43Here's something I really believe people need to hear.
05:48Kindness is not the same thing as having no boundaries.
05:53You can love somebody and still say no.
05:57You can help once and decide you cannot keep doing it.
06:02You can forgive somebody and still refuse to let them hurt you again.
06:07Now, Jesus taught love.
06:10But he also stepped away from crowds and took time alone to pray.
06:15Being available to everybody every minute was not the measure of his compassion.
06:23A person who gives until there's nothing left, including nothing for the people depending on them,
06:30isn't necessarily loving better.
06:33They may just be wearing themselves out.
06:37Real generosity has wisdom in it.
06:41There have been times when I personally thought helping meant fixing everything.
06:47If everybody was hurting, I needed an answer.
06:51But you can carry that expectation only for so long before your spirit,
06:58well, it starts to bend under the weight.
07:01And maybe you have that too.
07:03Here's the part I don't want us to miss.
07:07Just because kindness costs something doesn't mean it's a bad investment.
07:14And just because somebody failed to appreciate what you gave doesn't mean what you gave was worthless.
07:23Those two things are different.
07:26A friend can forget to thank you.
07:29Someone you helped can disappear when you're the one in trouble.
07:33A family member can remember every time you said no and forget every time you showed up.
07:42And that hurts.
07:44You know, let's not pretend it doesn't, right?
07:47But if we let the worst response we've ever received determine how we treat everyone else,
07:53then the people who took advantage of us, then the people who took advantage of us get to make our
07:57hearts smaller.
07:59They don't deserve that kind of power, in my opinion.
08:02They don't deserve that kind of power over who we become.
08:07Jesus knew what it was to give love and receive rejection.
08:12He fed people, touched people others avoided, listened to people others ignored, and he wasn't thanked by everyone.
08:31Now, I'm not Jesus.
08:35Jesus, neither are you.
08:37We're going to get tired, frustrated, and sometimes angry.
08:41And we need rest.
08:44We need honest limits.
08:46But we can still let his way of living point us toward the person we want to be.
08:54Maybe today's generosity looks like paying for a meal.
08:58Maybe it looks like calling somebody you haven't checked on in a while.
09:03Maybe it's making room for somebody's mistake instead of making them feel small.
09:10And maybe, well, just maybe in this season, the most generous thing you can do is take care of yourself
09:19so you have something left to give tomorrow.
09:24There's no scoreboard in any of that.
09:28What matters is that we don't let the rising cost of living convince us the value of human life has
09:36gone down.
09:37It hasn't.
09:39But the person in front of you is still a person.
09:43And so are you.
09:45You know, I love the thought that we can be careful with our resources without becoming stingy with our humanity.
09:53We can be wise with our money and generous with our respect.
09:58We can protect our peace and still make room for compassion.
10:02We can acknowledge the cost without forgetting the worth.
10:11Sometimes, years later, you discover somebody did remember.
10:16A sentence you barely recall gave them hope.
10:20A small gesture helped them through a day you knew nothing about.
10:25You may never get that story.
10:28And most of us won't.
10:30But that doesn't mean the story isn't happening.
10:34So, when you feel that sticker shock, when being kind seems to ask more from you than you have,
10:44don't shame yourself for noticing the price.
10:48Just ask a better question.
10:51What can I give today, freely and honestly, without betraying the responsibilities God has already placed in my hands?
11:02Some days, some days, some days, some days, some days, it will be very little.
11:10Both can come from a loving heart.
11:13And if the world feels colder than it used to, I don't think the answer is to become colder with
11:20it.
11:20I think the answer is to keep a little warmth alive wherever we can, without setting ourselves on fire to
11:29do it.
11:31That's the kind of generosity that I personally want to practice.
11:36Not the kind that makes people applaud.
11:39The kind that reminds somebody, somewhere in the world, maybe when they need it most, that they still matter.
11:51Because kindness may be expensive, but a world where nobody is willing to offer any of it,
11:58that's a price none of us can afford to pay.
12:05My name is Douglas Vandergraaf, and I believe in Jesus Christ.
12:11God bless every one of you.
12:14Every single one.
12:16And everyone you love.
12:19Bye-bye.
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