- 4 hours ago
Funny AF with Kevin Hart - Season 1 Episode 6 -
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FunTranscript
00:12All right, we got four left.
00:15Steve, Ron, Eva, and Ray.
00:17Two people move on to the next round.
00:20This is not an easy decision.
00:23You made it extremely tough.
00:29Steve, you're going to move on.
00:30Fuck me. Thank you.
00:33Man, what am I feeling right now is a ton of adrenaline.
00:36This whole competition has become up and down,
00:38whether my personal life and professional life.
00:39One goes up, one goes down,
00:41but luckily I'm still here to fight another day,
00:42and that's really all I can focus on right now.
00:45The last person going through is...
00:56Ron, I want to see more of you, man.
00:59I want to see more of you.
01:04You have this natural cadence of comfort, man, of charisma.
01:08It looked like you were having a good time
01:11as you were doing your set.
01:13Like, I forgot at one point
01:15that you were doing an actual set.
01:17I want to see where that goes in the next stages.
01:21I feel appreciative that I squeaked on through them.
01:25But, you know, as Kobe said, job's not done, you know?
01:29So there's definitely still more to go.
01:33My asshole ain't released all the way,
01:35but a little pressure is not gone.
01:38So for those that did not make it,
01:40I'm going to say this, Eva.
01:41You have a very raw, I don't give a fuck energy.
01:45The digs at Marshawn, I felt, were clever.
01:47I felt that there was a nice build,
01:49but I felt like there was a moment
01:51where you got very fast in the set.
01:54It was not in a panic way,
01:55but it was like, I'm going to get through it.
01:57I'm going to keep going.
01:58I'm going to keep going.
01:58And I think you cut off some of the laughs
02:00by getting right into the next thing, right?
02:03I'm going to tell you flat out,
02:05you're the only one that didn't address
02:08the concept of the roast in its entirety, right?
02:12And what I mean by that,
02:13the set was very funny,
02:15but you didn't hit Marshawn.
02:17And when you're doing something like this,
02:19the dope thing is about giving energy
02:21to the entire set.
02:23I felt like you didn't necessarily stay true
02:25to the challenge.
02:27Were you funny?
02:27Fuck yeah, you were funny.
02:29Are people going to walk away and say you were funny?
02:31Fuck yeah, they're going to say you were funny.
02:32But I think people would understand my why.
02:36So Eva and Ray, do me a favor,
02:38exit with your heads up.
02:40You're more than capable of doing whatever it is
02:41that you want to do in this business.
02:42This was just my stepping stone.
02:44Chin high.
02:45This is not a low.
02:46It's a high.
02:48Congratulations, baby.
02:50Sad, obviously, we didn't make it through,
02:51but the craft continues
02:53and the journey continues for me.
02:55Hi, mom and dad.
02:56Sorry.
02:59Roasting?
03:00Okay, someone tell me I'm not good at roasting.
03:02That's not news to me at all.
03:04I feel like roasting is a separate skill.
03:07You know what I'm saying?
03:07Like I said, if you're trying to figure out
03:08if someone can cook,
03:09you don't ask them to bake a cake.
03:11I know what I'm capable of.
03:12I'm a fantastic, strong,
03:15resilient stand-up comedian.
03:17All right.
03:19Jesus.
03:19God.
03:20That's crazy.
03:21So intense.
03:22It's a competition, guys.
03:24I'm so proud of you.
03:25Thankful for you.
03:26Love you.
03:27I love you.
03:27And I'm going to make it proud.
03:28I'm going to take it back for both of us.
03:29Please.
03:30You got to.
03:30Come on, I got to hold it down.
03:31I love you.
03:32I love you.
03:32I love you.
03:32Flush.
03:33All right, now let's talk about the next step.
03:34You guys have all spent years working on your craft
03:37and also your material.
03:39But as I said,
03:40this competition needs to have a whole range of skills
03:42that you present as a comic.
03:44So what I want to see,
03:45I want to see you guys think on your feet.
03:47Some topical material,
03:48things that everybody is talking about right now.
03:50And I also want to see you guys do some crowd work.
03:53Involve the crowd into what it is that you're doing.
03:55Sometimes a crowd could throw you a curveball.
03:57How do you handle that curveball?
03:58Only six of you will go on to the live semifinal.
04:01So that means two more people are going home.
04:04Man, it's getting good.
04:05Good luck.
04:06And I'll see you next time.
04:07Thank you, guys.
04:09Hey.
04:10Hey.
04:10Hey.
04:11Hey.
04:13Come on.
04:15God damn, that was crazy.
04:16Oh.
04:18Damn, man.
04:20Great job, brother.
04:22Come on, man.
04:23Yeah.
04:24It's the greatest.
04:38It's a new day and, like, I'm just trying to have fun.
04:41Because last night was, like, so high stakes and so much buildup.
04:43And, like, we've been working on this for months.
04:44And, like, today I want to just kind of, like, keep it loose.
04:46Not think negatively.
04:49Go for it.
04:50Are y'all more nervous or less nervous?
04:51More nervous.
04:52Yeah, it's starting to creep in that this is actually happening.
04:55Hey, hey, hey, hey!
04:56Hey!
04:59Jesus Christ, I have to perform in front of my hero, Chelsea.
05:02And I am feeling really nervous.
05:04If I bomb, I'm going to murder everyone in this building.
05:07The elite eight, top eight, what are we referring to you guys as?
05:10We got dressed up for you guys today.
05:11You see this?
05:12Just a cashmere fucking sweatsuit.
05:14It's not the outfit.
05:15It's the body that it comes in.
05:17But I'm excited to see you guys tonight.
05:19You guys are doing topical and crowd work.
05:21That is the competition tonight, which I think is dope as hell.
05:24Just to see how you guys are thinking in the moment.
05:27Anyone who's paying attention to everything that's going on in the world,
05:30there's a lot to pull from.
05:31I don't have the topical on day-to-day side.
05:36That is not my weapon of mass destruction, which is why Chelsea's here.
05:39You see that?
05:40You're a valuable asset to me.
05:41Yeah, I mean, like, you don't have to make your whole set
05:43about what's happening in the world,
05:44but something that is relatable to what everybody sees as happening
05:47is kind of nice to touch upon.
05:49It makes you feel unified.
05:51Yeah, I think in the world of topic,
05:53when you go in, operate good and be different.
05:56Is it raw?
05:57And how strong is your opinion in that space?
05:59Absolutely.
06:00Sometimes when you come out as a comedian,
06:02especially when you're in venues like this,
06:05people want to go out and get right to the joke so fast.
06:07And you don't understand there's a comfort to intimacy.
06:10When you are involving a crowd, well, a crowd relaxes.
06:13Sir, what the fuck?
06:14What you doing with your neck?
06:15Let your tie go a little bit.
06:16What do you need that up there for?
06:18Open your legs.
06:19Open your fucking...
06:19Open your what?
06:21Tell people to open their legs and to relax.
06:23Well, you get the...
06:24Men, I mean.
06:25Yeah, you get what I'm saying,
06:26and you get the reason behind it.
06:29If you don't get the reaction you want,
06:30don't let it stop your energy.
06:32Don't let it throw you off.
06:33Break a leg, you guys.
06:34Okay, this is the eight.
06:36We're in the final eight.
06:37Huh?
06:37One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
06:39You know the beauty of it?
06:40It's gonna be six.
06:42Yeah, who, who, who's out?
06:44Who, who...
06:44Look at this.
06:45We get real creepy.
06:46Come on, let's go.
06:47Let's go.
06:48That's it.
06:56Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage,
07:00Kevin Burwell.
07:05Oh, no, no, no.
07:07We're here.
07:13Shouts out to you guys, too, man.
07:15Yeah.
07:16These audiences are, like, literally gorgeous.
07:18Yeah.
07:20I'm, I'm anxious, you know?
07:23I don't know what's going on.
07:24Do you want to hold my hands?
07:25No, I might squeeze it or make it sweaty.
07:27I'm sorry.
07:30Yes, yes.
07:32Sit down.
07:33Sit down.
07:36I want to welcome, welcome you and the world to Funny AF.
07:40Uh, this is my search for the next great stand-up star, okay?
07:46And tonight, well, you'll see the final eight comics still in competition.
07:49After their sets, the film will be cut to six.
07:52Those six comics move on to our semifinal on Monday, May 4th.
07:56Then it's up to the global audience who votes live to decide who makes the finale, okay?
08:01Who wins it all?
08:03And joining me tonight is an A-list comedian who's been delivering off-the-charts comedy for years.
08:09Do me a favor, guys.
08:10Put your hands together for my special guest judge, Chelsea Handler, ladies and gentlemen.
08:16Yeah.
08:24Hi, you guys.
08:26Look at that.
08:28Hi.
08:31Chelsea's value is bar none.
08:33She has been amazing in dealing with the world of topical humor, right?
08:37In the days of Chelsea lately, she dealt with whatever was going on in the world in real time,
08:42broke it down in a funny way that was only unique to her and her style.
08:46Tonight, Chelsea, I think, you know, you're visual to what the performances break down to be.
08:52It's not a visual.
08:53It's just an assessment.
08:55It's not...
08:55It's your visual.
08:55But it's not the right word that you're using.
08:57What do you mean?
08:57You're visual.
08:58You're looking at the fucking people.
08:59You're visual.
09:01You're visualizing what's good about the set versus what isn't, Chelsea.
09:05You're visual.
09:06I'm assessing.
09:07I'm not visualizing.
09:08That's imagining something that's not even happening.
09:10What you're doing is pissing me off.
09:11That's what you're doing, Chelsea.
09:13Okay?
09:14Just fucking let me say the word.
09:15It says funny AF with Kevin Hart.
09:18Let me fucking talk, Chelsea.
09:21God.
09:24I love her.
09:25I really do.
09:25I love her.
09:26All right?
09:28Are you guys ready to see some comedy?
09:29Yeah?
09:31Then, God damn it, let's see some comedy.
09:33First off...
09:36You gotta make everybody proud.
09:38I'm a little rusty in the crowd work department, and I'm not used to doing it in Los Angeles.
09:43I haven't really performed on the West Coast.
09:45Such a beautiful crowd.
09:46Look at them.
09:53I'm a little nervous about showcasing my viewpoints.
09:56My background is really different.
09:58Being raised really conservative, moving really far left, but still having a good relationship
10:02with my conservative friends and family.
10:04I didn't want to, like, hurt any of my friends' feelings or go too far.
10:08I think the challenge is going to see if, like, what my energy and my vibe is, if it meshes
10:12with what the audiences are out here.
10:14All right, guys, first up, a comic from a really small town in Virginia.
10:18Make some noise for Winston Hodges!
10:32Oh, yeah, what's up?
10:34Let's go, dude.
10:36This shit rocks, man.
10:37I'm feeling good, brother.
10:38I'm feeling excited, dog.
10:39You fucking...
10:40Yeah, bro.
10:41I'm feeling good.
10:42Yeah.
10:43What about you, brother?
10:44You fucking excited for this shit?
10:45You fucking pumped right now?
10:47Yeah, you better fucking be.
10:48You just saw the most famous black man on Earth introduce the least famous white person
10:52you've ever seen in your fucking life.
10:55I like your energy, man.
10:57You fucking smoke?
10:58You get high?
10:59You drug addict?
11:01You better, yeah.
11:02Well, you better fucking grow up, man.
11:03I don't know what to tell you, dude.
11:05It's 2026.
11:06Shit is fucked up.
11:07I don't know what to tell you, dude.
11:10I'll say this, man.
11:11I live in Virginia.
11:12I'm right outside Washington, D.C.
11:13And D.C. and Virginia, they change their weed laws all the time.
11:17But as somebody that's 35, I remember when weed was illegal so that everybody that fucking
11:22used to smoke it, they were fucking cool about it, man.
11:25They used to be chill about it.
11:26But not now that it's legal.
11:29There's people getting high that got no goddamn fucking business getting high, dude.
11:35It's true, man, because I come from the type of small town where every Christmas I go home
11:39and I get high with all my high school friends.
11:42And every last one of them are hardscore, right-wing, MAGA-level Republicans.
11:46And I don't know if you guys have gotten high with a MAGA Republican before.
11:50The fucking vibes are off, man.
11:53Like, it's not, the vibes are bad.
11:56It's not a good time.
11:59It's true, man.
12:00Weed is supposed to chill you the fuck out.
12:03No, yeah.
12:04Honestly, man, every time I'm home and I'm around all my Republican friends that are getting
12:08high, when they start saying their ideas, it makes me realize everything that comes out
12:12of the White House the last 18 months really feels like a group of Republicans got high
12:17for the first time.
12:19Don't you feel like every day you turn on the fucking news and there's some new dipshit
12:22on TV being like...
12:29We're going to have a UFC fight at the White House.
12:39Every fucking day, man.
12:41Every day it's just some new dude that kind of looks like me being like...
12:47Y'all think we could buy Greenland, do you guys think?
12:51That's good.
12:52That's a thing we can do.
12:54You got to joke about it, man, because I don't know if you know this.
12:57We are fucking cooked, man.
12:59Like, it's done.
13:01I live right outside Washington, D.C.
13:04And shit is scary, man.
13:05Every day I turn on the news.
13:06There's some shit going on with Iran and the Middle East and gas through the fucking roof.
13:10And you're still going on with Russia and Ukraine.
13:12Every day you turn on the news, man.
13:13And I was raised really religious.
13:15So even though all that shit goes on, every morning I wake up right outside Washington,
13:20D.C.
13:20And I pray.
13:21And I thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
13:25Every day.
13:27I thank Him every day that at least I get to live inside the blast radius.
13:33You know what I mean?
13:33Like, I got to make some tough decisions if you don't live in the blast radius.
13:40When a nuke hits, do you know which one of your parents you're going to eat?
13:43Do you know which one it is?
13:45The thing I'm most excited about is when that nuke hits and the light washes over my fucking
13:50body and I turn to dust, I'll be like, God damn, I finally hit my goal weight.
13:56You know what I mean?
13:56I think I've been Winston Hodges.
13:58You guys have a wonderful night.
14:01Allison A-Pot.
14:02He's awesome.
14:07That was an A-plus in life.
14:09A-plus.
14:09You forget his awkwardness.
14:11I can't even talk to you because of the smell that's coming off of your perfume.
14:15It's very strong.
14:16It's fucking cologne.
14:18I think all in all, in the spirit of the competition, I think I did what I was supposed
14:23to do.
14:24Woo!
14:26How do you feel, bro?
14:27It felt like going first.
14:29Okay.
14:29Okay.
14:31You guys, this is so fun.
14:32Woo!
14:36I am, as always, terrified.
14:40I feel like I'm so in the good graces.
14:42It's not even real.
14:44Like, everyone's amazing.
14:45You really saw the level yesterday.
14:46Like, everyone is here to play.
14:48There's no weak links.
14:50And I'm feeling it.
14:51Feeling the pressure.
14:52This Bengali comic kicked off the roast last time.
14:56From New York City, Osama Siddiqui!
15:04Keep it going!
15:12How are we feeling?
15:13Feeling good?
15:14Good!
15:16We love ourselves, yeah?
15:18Yeah!
15:19You gotta love yourself, man.
15:20We're all insecure about something, right?
15:22Right?
15:23You got a small dick.
15:23You're like, oh no, I hope nobody finds out I have a small dick.
15:27Right?
15:27You got a big dick.
15:28You're like, oh no, I hope nobody finds out I can't read.
15:32Right?
15:33You got a massive dick.
15:34You're like, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh.
15:37You got a super tiny dick.
15:39You're like, we're gonna save Venezuela.
15:42We're gonna do it.
15:49We're gonna do it.
15:51Donald Trump, his, all his, people are crazy.
15:53You know this, right?
15:54Chrissy Noem, her husband was caught cross-dressing.
15:57Y'all know about this?
15:58Why is it when Republicans get caught,
16:00it's never like a normal amount of gay, ever.
16:03It's never like, oh, he was like holding someone's hand in a park.
16:06No, it's like Senator found with nine dudes in a Bucky's bathroom.
16:12So much fluid, nine dudes died.
16:16Jesus Christ, man.
16:18That's the thing with the worst Republicans,
16:19they got this anti-gay sentiment.
16:21You know what I'm saying?
16:22Bro, homophobic or not?
16:25Yeah, just quick, quick fire.
16:26Don't think, don't think, bro, real quick.
16:28Just gotta check, just gotta check real quick, okay?
16:32You can't, you can't.
16:33Bro, homophobic or not?
16:35Okay, but you're black, so your dad is homophobic, right?
16:40Listen, all black dudes are homophobic as fuck.
16:43But they're funny about it, right?
16:44Because when they want to call someone gay,
16:45they'll say everything besides the word gay, right?
16:48They'll be like, your friend Jimmy,
16:49you little loose in the shoes.
16:56Hey, all I'm saying is the boy plays tambourine.
17:04I'm like, are you saying he's gay?
17:06Boy, I ain't saying shit.
17:09But that boy likes to slip and slide.
17:14You know what I'm saying?
17:19Oh my God.
17:20No, no, my God, my God.
17:21Always, always, always.
17:23That's good.
17:25Kevin, I had an old black dude roommate,
17:27never said gay.
17:28If I had a gay friend, he was like,
17:29that boy got the devil's butt.
17:33That boy got that devil's booty.
17:36Kevin, then my friend went trans,
17:38and he was, now he's got Satan's coochie.
17:42Oh, shit.
17:43Clap it up if you grew up Christian, clap it up.
17:46Okay, awesome, awesome.
17:48So these people grew up homophobic.
17:53Bro, I grew up Muslim, bro.
17:55I had Muslim leaders doing homophobic speeches, right?
17:57But they're always doing it in like deep Arabic, right?
18:00So it was always like,
18:07I'm like, yo, how you gonna hate on gay people
18:10while sounding like you're sucking a dick?
18:16Listen, y'all been amazing.
18:17Thank y'all so much.
18:18Such a great set.
18:19Such a great set.
18:20Thank you, guys.
18:21Thank you, guys.
18:22Oh, my God.
18:30In a theater like that,
18:31I've never gotten a standing ovation like that before.
18:34That was an insane experience.
18:37I usually never rate my sets well,
18:39but I think that was a nine.
18:41That was a good set.
18:43That was a very good set.
18:44I feel good.
18:45Brother.
18:46Whoa.
18:46Just, uh, damn.
18:47And yet you were scared.
18:48You just got the first standing ovation.
18:51How much was that, like, primarily crowd work?
18:55It was crowd work,
18:55but I was, like, working bits in
18:56and kind of working off the crowd.
18:58Uh-oh, you making me think rearranging my stuff.
19:00No, no.
19:01Yeah.
19:01It's all good.
19:02He's a star to introduce difficult subject matter
19:05and make it light and funny.
19:06Like, the black experience and black homophobia.
19:09You're dying because it's true.
19:11That's my dad.
19:11That's my fucking dad.
19:12He is charming because his energy looks fun.
19:16It doesn't look forced.
19:17It doesn't look like I'm coming to my next joke.
19:20Here's the robot.
19:21His participation, like, with crowd towards crowd
19:25was even so good because it was about,
19:27hey, man, what are you?
19:28Oh, you're going to be,
19:28you're going to do this quick, quick.
19:30What are you?
19:30Are you homophobic?
19:31Yes or no?
19:31Quick, quick, quick.
19:31And confident.
19:32Like, confident and the stage presence.
19:33That's important to have stage presence,
19:35to come out here and command the attention of everybody.
19:39Bro, you're going to kill it.
19:39You're the man.
19:40Appreciate it.
19:41You're amazing, dude.
19:41It's going to be great.
19:42Good stuff.
19:42We're going to knock it out.
19:43My guy.
19:43Right on.
19:45I got picked last.
19:46I'm not certain as to what made it between me
19:51and whoever else didn't get in,
19:53but I've done crowd work.
19:55I've done topical.
19:56So now we're back in my element.
19:58I will absolutely be one of the semifinalists.
20:01All I got to do is do my job,
20:03and you're going to get these laughs one way or another.
20:06I can't stress this enough.
20:08We are dealing with our top eight,
20:10and you're seeing people come out
20:12with fucking real, real, real fucking thunder, man.
20:17This is what comedy and competition is about.
20:23We don't want to stop sleeping at you.
20:25So listen, about this ice cream thing, man,
20:28that was a little thing, right?
20:30I did not mean for it to be my whole fucking life story, all right?
20:34Don't nobody ask me shit about no motherfucking ice cream.
20:37No more, all right?
20:38If I had it my way,
20:40people would remember me as the coolest,
20:42most handsome, hugest dick,
20:44funniest guy in the world, you know?
20:46But that's just me, right?
20:48From Detroit, Michigan,
20:50please show some love to my guy,
20:52Ron Taylor!
21:04I want Wayne to do good.
21:07Cut it, cut it, cut it.
21:09What's going on, good people?
21:13All right.
21:14Like he said, I am from Detroit.
21:17Detroit.
21:19Okay, y'all must have never been there.
21:23Detroit is fucked up!
21:25It's rough out there.
21:27Most places need the police.
21:31Detroit, we need the Avengers.
21:33We need...
21:35There's a story y'all might not know about this
21:37because y'all white,
21:38but there's a rapper who got attacked.
21:42They was trying to snatch his chain, right?
21:45They wrestled him.
21:46He took their gun, shot them.
21:49I knew that story was about a person from Detroit
21:53just from hearing it.
21:55Because people in Detroit,
21:56we have dreams of having shootouts in a club.
22:01We all want to be Rambo.
22:02It was my little brother's dream
22:04to be shot in a club.
22:08That was his dream.
22:09He thought he was going to get cool points for it.
22:11I had to tell him,
22:12like, ain't nothing hard about being shot.
22:15If you want to impress me,
22:17I want to see you get hit
22:18with a bow and arrow in the club.
22:22Just imagine my brother dancing.
22:24Oh, snap, this party's all right.
22:26Somebody go,
22:27I can't stand this motherfucker, man.
22:29Every time I come in here...
22:35Oh, fuck!
22:3750 Cent got shot nine times.
22:39Take nine arrows to the chest.
22:42Had to get the fuck out of Detroit.
22:44Went to Austin, Texas.
22:46It was weird.
22:47I was in Texas when Trump won the second time.
22:50My mama was all mad.
22:51She called me,
22:52what the fuck?
22:54You just let Trump win?
22:58I said, I ain't their leader.
23:01The fuck you want me to do?
23:04But I get it.
23:05Like, that ice shit,
23:06that, that is different.
23:08And I tell you,
23:09as a black man,
23:10I thought I would feel happier
23:11seeing white people get fucked up
23:13by the police.
23:13I did.
23:15And it was sad.
23:16I didn't like it.
23:17Because y'all not ready for it.
23:18Y'all surprised.
23:24Y'all was shocked.
23:26It was good.
23:27Just, oh, me?
23:28Yes, motherfucker, you.
23:32What y'all thought
23:33we've been rapping about
23:34this whole time?
23:35That's funny.
23:37Avengers Doomsday is coming out.
23:38Y'all ready?
23:41Hell yeah.
23:42Those are my favorite movies,
23:44all the superhero movies.
23:45That's all I think about
23:46is different powers to have.
23:48White lady.
23:51Be serious.
23:52If you could have any power,
23:53one power,
23:53what would it be?
23:56I don't know.
23:57You don't know?
23:58Maybe the power to think?
24:00Come on now.
24:01There you go, Ron.
24:02There you go, Ron.
24:04And you miss it.
24:05You miss it.
24:07Okay.
24:08Asian man.
24:10You could have one power,
24:11what would it be?
24:12Speed.
24:12Speed.
24:13Okay, you're a freak.
24:14You want to touch people and run.
24:15I get it.
24:16There you go, Ron.
24:18Yes.
24:20White lady,
24:20you could have one power,
24:21what would it be?
24:22Strength.
24:22Strength?
24:23Okay, you scared.
24:24I get that.
24:24Get them niggas a ball for you.
24:25I get it.
24:27I'll tell you the best power to have,
24:29right,
24:30is to heal like Wolverine.
24:33There it is.
24:37See, they don't tell you the other side
24:39of Wolverine's powers, right?
24:42Condom, what the fuck is that?
24:43I'm fucking everybody wrong.
24:45I just heal right up.
24:47Do you know how many drugs
24:50Wolverine is doing?
24:52Gonorrhea, what's that?
24:55Ladies and gentlemen, that's my time.
24:56I'm Ron Taylor.
25:03Great job, Ron.
25:05He's got stage presence.
25:06He's charismatic.
25:07He needed it,
25:08because yesterday he was shaky yesterday.
25:10Oh, oh.
25:10He came back strong today.
25:12And it's original.
25:14Within current events and culture,
25:16let me educate you guys,
25:18because I'm going to make you understand
25:20the world that I don't know you know.
25:22His crowd work was the best crowd work
25:24that's been done all night.
25:25Ron was so good with his,
25:28okay, what's your superpower?
25:29What?
25:30That's a great,
25:30also a great question to be asking people.
25:33But he had a punchline for each one.
25:34I think we saw him as crowd work first,
25:35his second.
25:36This kind of crowd work,
25:37as I'm doing this,
25:38you don't have that much.
25:39No, literally,
25:40I went out there mentally,
25:40I am talking directly to a person,
25:42asking him questions,
25:43and I'm like,
25:43what is crowd work?
25:45Really?
25:46When we get down to it.
25:48Fine.
25:48Five seconds.
25:49Come on, five seconds.
25:50Ready?
25:50Let's go, five seconds.
25:53So, I've been insecure
25:54throughout this competition
25:55because I'm the newest young.
25:56Okay.
25:57I feel like,
25:58I feel like a child.
25:59You're the newest young.
25:59I'm the newest young.
26:00Your youth.
26:01I feel like I have maybe
26:02a chip on my shoulder
26:03because I am the least experienced
26:04and like the youngest person here.
26:06Every set you do
26:06is already like the most you set.
26:10Takes to like mid-30s,
26:11because I feel like to get there
26:12and you're already there
26:13and I'm like so blown away
26:14and like,
26:15you are like so good.
26:16Thanks, Will.
26:17Here's our newest stand-up
26:19from Kansas
26:20via New York.
26:22Here is Olivia Carter.
26:25Here is Olivia Carter.
26:30Keep it going for me.
26:32Yes.
26:33Woo!
26:35Wow.
26:37I'm so happy to be here.
26:39Oh my God.
26:40What a thrill.
26:43Were any of you beaten
26:44by your siblings?
26:45Make some noise
26:46if you were beaten by...
26:47Oh.
26:50Yeah, there's a lot of trauma
26:51in this room.
26:53What did they do to you guys?
26:54What did they do to you?
26:55He drove over my hand
26:56with a remote-controlled vehicle
26:58that he put pushpins on the wheels.
27:00If you didn't hear that,
27:01he put needles on a toy car
27:03and then ran over his hand with it.
27:06And when he first said it,
27:07I thought,
27:07oh, a real car.
27:08And then you found out
27:09it was a toy car
27:10and you were like,
27:11oh, he's kind of being a pussy.
27:14And then you found out
27:15they put needles on a toy car
27:16and you're like,
27:17oh, your sibling
27:18should be in prison.
27:20What's he doing now?
27:21Sorry, it could be a woman.
27:22But is it a woman?
27:23No.
27:24Totally, it's not.
27:24Oh, okay.
27:27He just smokes a lot of weed
27:28and paints.
27:29He just smokes and paints.
27:31Okay.
27:31Sounds like Hitler.
27:34My sister,
27:35she used to kick me
27:36in the vagina every day.
27:39Yeah, and she'd like
27:40size nine feet.
27:43So it really set
27:44vaginal standards
27:45too high for me.
27:47You know,
27:48guys would be like,
27:48do you like my cock?
27:49And I'm like,
27:50well, it's no foot.
27:51You know?
27:56And I've been doing
27:57this thing recently
27:58where a person
27:58I've been thinking about
27:59a lot at this time
28:00is Erica Kirk.
28:04Let's give it up for her.
28:05Just kidding.
28:05She sucks.
28:06Oh my God,
28:07don't do it.
28:08Someone was going to do it.
28:09That was crazy.
28:11And do you guys
28:12know how her
28:13and Charlie met?
28:14So she went in
28:16for a job interview
28:17to work for his company
28:18and he was like,
28:19you're incredible,
28:21but I can't hire you
28:22because I want to date you.
28:25I was like,
28:26I guess that's better
28:26than the other way around,
28:28like going out with a guy
28:29and he's like,
28:29can I hire you?
28:32But I'm like,
28:33what did she say
28:34on the interview?
28:35She was like,
28:36my greatest strength,
28:36I guess I bounce back
28:38quickly from tragedy.
28:45And I don't have
28:46a gag reflex.
28:49She was like,
28:50that's my wife.
28:52And I'm originally
28:54from Kansas,
28:54which everyone
28:55is disgusted by.
28:57And I'm like,
28:58I didn't mean to.
28:59It all happened
29:00really fast.
29:02And Kansas has been
29:03in the news a lot
29:04because they just
29:04passed this law
29:05that basically makes it
29:07like illegal
29:07to be trans.
29:09It's like,
29:10there's enough overalls
29:11to go around,
29:11you guys.
29:13You know,
29:14you're going to be okay.
29:15And you know what
29:15actually freaks me out?
29:17I would love a trans child.
29:18You know what freaks me out?
29:19Just like having a,
29:20just a son.
29:24Because one day,
29:25there'll be a man
29:26in your house.
29:28What the fuck?
29:31If you have a kid,
29:33you're just slowly
29:33letting a man
29:34into your home.
29:38And then he could
29:39have friends over.
29:40That could be up
29:41to like nine men.
29:43That's a branch
29:44of government.
29:46A man of men
29:46and dads are always like,
29:47you don't want
29:48too many daughters.
29:49You do not want
29:49too many daughters.
29:50Right.
29:51You know,
29:51look at the Kardashians.
29:53That was way
29:54too many women.
29:55That was so many women.
29:56Their dad became one.
29:57So,
29:58good job.
29:59Okay,
30:00thank you guys.
30:02He's such a good writer.
30:04Everything is an OG,
30:05clever angle.
30:06That is original shit.
30:08Oh!
30:10Bam, bam, bam, bam!
30:11Fire!
30:12It does feel closer
30:13and like,
30:13the longer I stay in,
30:14the more I want the cheese.
30:17I want the cheese.
30:19Such a great job.
30:20Thank you, love.
30:21I hope your special's called
30:21I want the cheese.
30:22I want the cheese.
30:23No, I'm lactose.
30:24I'll fart.
30:25You're gonna crush.
30:26Bye.
30:27Bye.
30:28It's kind of an interesting
30:28time in my life.
30:29My personal life
30:30has gone down
30:31quite a bit.
30:32My fiance and I
30:32split up seven years.
30:34We lived together.
30:35We were planning
30:35to get married yesterday.
30:37It was supposed
30:37to be the wedding
30:38and that kind of
30:39fell apart, obviously.
30:40But, you know,
30:41it just made me realize
30:42that comedy's been
30:43the thing throughout
30:44my life since
30:44I was 20 years old
30:45that never left.
30:48It's been there
30:48in my darkest days.
30:49It's been there
30:50in my best days.
30:50So, the Steve Fury train
30:52is gonna just keep
30:53going, man.
30:54Guys, our next comic,
30:55this guy always brings
30:57the energy
30:57from Los Angeles.
30:59Here is Steve Fury!
31:11Let me know how
31:11we doing tonight!
31:16I'm excited.
31:17This lineup
31:17is fantastic.
31:19We've got
31:19the line at a DMV
31:21right here.
31:22That's great.
31:23We've got the
31:23offensive line
31:24right here.
31:25We've got Planned Parenthood
31:26right there.
31:27This is what
31:27you need.
31:29Four girls,
31:30six abortions.
31:30That's what I like.
31:31How are you doing,
31:32beautiful?
31:33Blonde hair
31:34and Mexican?
31:34That's natural, right?
31:35That was
31:37going on.
31:37What's your name?
31:38Carol.
31:39Carol?
31:39Beautiful name.
31:40Are you single?
31:41Yeah.
31:42Yeah?
31:42Ooh!
31:43What's your favorite sign?
31:46Leo.
31:47Leo?
31:48That's my sign!
31:49I'm an Aries.
31:50I'm actually an Aries.
31:50I'm not gonna lie to you guys.
31:51Don't tell Carol.
31:52She took a long time
31:53to think of that.
31:54It's not her fault.
31:55I fucking hate billionaires,
31:56man.
31:57This is what I want to do,
31:58guys.
31:58I'm not gonna lie to you.
31:59If I could,
31:59I would kill
32:00every single billionaire.
32:01Does that sound
32:02pretty cool?
32:03Does that sound
32:03pretty fucking cool?
32:05This is the problem.
32:06I've been trying
32:06to figure out which one.
32:07It turns out every one,
32:08so I said,
32:08let's reverse engineer
32:09this bitch, right?
32:10Let's see which ones
32:10I don't want to kill.
32:11And I found two.
32:12Number one,
32:13Warren Buffett, right?
32:14Warren Buffett
32:14was everybody's
32:15first billionaire.
32:16He's like the Pikachu
32:17of billionaires.
32:18You know what I mean?
32:18You like him.
32:19He's kind of cute.
32:20You know why you like him,
32:21but he's there.
32:22Another one of my favorites
32:23is a guy named Phil Knight.
32:24You guys know Phil Knight?
32:25CEO of Nike.
32:26He designed Jordans.
32:27If you like Jordans,
32:28he designed 1 through 13.
32:29He's getting a little bit old.
32:30He just donated
32:31$2 billion
32:32as the College of Oregon's
32:33Health and Sciences
32:34to cure cancer.
32:35Pretty fucking cool,
32:36right, Carol?
32:37Pretty fucking cool.
32:38I will say this.
32:39If someone gives you
32:40$2 billion to cure cancer,
32:42you gotta cure cancer.
32:43You know what I'm talking about?
32:44You can't come back
32:46not curing cancer
32:47for $2 billion.
32:49I fail shit for free
32:50every fucking day.
32:52I would love
32:53to not cure cancer
32:54for $2 billion.
32:56I look forward
32:57to the phone call.
32:57Phil, what up?
32:58Yeah.
32:59Yeah.
33:00Fucking didn't do it, man.
33:02It was hard.
33:02Cancer's hard, dude.
33:03It was hard.
33:04Yeah, no, I'm cool.
33:05I'm just chilling
33:05at the beach house
33:06eating sashimi right now.
33:07It's not that bad.
33:08Can't complain.
33:10Who's your favorite person
33:10in this administration, Carol?
33:12Do you like anybody
33:12in this administration?
33:15No.
33:15No.
33:16God, you're good.
33:17Thank God you were up front.
33:18Let me tell you,
33:19it's not like I'm gonna be
33:19on Netflix with this shit
33:20or anything.
33:21Um...
33:23I like Pete Hexen
33:24because he's the first guy
33:24where you could look at him
33:25and be like,
33:26maybe I'm the secretary
33:27of events one day.
33:28I don't know.
33:28It could happen to you, dude.
33:29You used to be beer bonging one day
33:31and then you're in the
33:31fucking president's area.
33:33So I'm trying to get in,
33:34you know,
33:34I'm trying to get in the mindset,
33:35right?
33:35And this is my idea
33:36for invading Iran.
33:37Number one,
33:38he's sending Gen Z.
33:39Just fought her.
33:40They're dead.
33:41They can't make it.
33:42They're not gonna make it.
33:43They're not gonna make it, guys.
33:45It's because they're not having sex
33:47and they're not drinking.
33:48You can't go to war
33:50not drinking whiskey,
33:51just sipping matcha
33:52in the trenches.
33:53It just doesn't work out,
33:54you know what I mean?
33:54The second wave,
33:55right here,
33:56OnlyFans models, right?
33:58Yeah.
33:59Because you gotta think about it.
34:00These guys only seen
34:01chicks in burqas
34:02for 80 years.
34:03Imagine 50,000 BBLs
34:05traversing the Iranian countryside.
34:07Just Riley Reid on a horse
34:09with an axe coming at you.
34:11You're not gonna shoot
34:12the hottest woman
34:13you've ever seen
34:13in your fucking life.
34:15You're not gonna be
34:15looking down the barrel
34:16being like,
34:17Sir, I can see your ass
34:18from the front.
34:19I think we should listen
34:20to what they have to say.
34:23And that's where we come in, folks.
34:25That's the boys,
34:2630 to 50 year olds,
34:27no ACLs,
34:28riddled with gout,
34:29walking the countryside.
34:31We can't bend down
34:32to shoot anybody.
34:34Does anyone see
34:34my CPAP machine?
34:36I can't sleep
34:37in the desert.
34:38My name's Steve Fury.
34:39Thank you guys very much.
34:45So that was
34:46not a great set.
34:47I don't think
34:48it was a great set.
34:49Getting was a little rough.
34:50I think the crowd work
34:52aspect
34:54threw him off
34:55without getting
34:56responses
34:57and or the energy
34:58that he could have been
34:59looking for.
34:59But you also don't blame
35:00the person you're talking
35:01to for the response.
35:03Like, you work with it.
35:04You don't make fun of them
35:05and belittle them.
35:06How you feel, brother?
35:08It's all right.
35:09All right?
35:09Solid six out of ten.
35:11Well, come on over
35:11to the all right couch,
35:12my good man.
35:14I wish I would have
35:15slowed down,
35:16cut one of my jokes,
35:18paused for laughter
35:19a little bit more.
35:21Crowd work is a part
35:22of doing stand-up.
35:22It's a skill set.
35:24Audiences love
35:25when you pull jokes
35:25right out the hat.
35:26But I look at every one
35:28of my competitors' faces
35:29and I realize,
35:30you could win this.
35:30Like, there's not a person
35:31I see who can't win this.
35:32So this is now
35:33a death match.
35:34All right.
35:35Our next comic,
35:37Ridge Thomas!
35:49Oh!
35:52Very happy to be here.
35:54I have learned so much
35:56about the presidency
35:57in the last year and a half.
36:00Because I'm going to be
36:00honest with y'all.
36:01I had no idea
36:02a president could do all that.
36:05The president could do
36:06whatever the fuck he wants.
36:09Like, I'm not going to lie.
36:10I look back
36:10and I'm low-key disappointed
36:11in Barack.
36:15Very good.
36:16After the last year and a half,
36:17I'm like,
36:18damn, nigga,
36:18we could have really had
36:19white slaves.
36:26If this nigga
36:27would have just locked in!
36:30Because the current president
36:32going north,
36:32the current president
36:33got everybody scared.
36:34I haven't heard anyone
36:35speak Spanish
36:36in public in months.
36:40This is Los Angeles.
36:42I walk around,
36:43see Mexicans,
36:44they out here whispering
36:45and shit like,
36:45mira, mira.
36:50I'm from New York,
36:51we all go to the bodega.
36:52The bodega's love.
36:56You walk up in there,
36:57you're like,
36:57yo, papi,
36:58what's good?
36:58Where's Juan?
37:00Now you go in there,
37:01he's like,
37:01yo, primo,
37:01you making it hot.
37:02My name is John.
37:03I'm like, okay.
37:07Now, everybody's scared.
37:08I thought I was getting
37:08deported
37:09and I'm from here.
37:11I thought I was getting
37:12sent back to Haiti.
37:13I'm too American
37:14to go to Haiti.
37:16I own a water pick.
37:17I can't go.
37:20And I'm a good citizen.
37:22I follow the laws
37:22in this country
37:23even when I don't
37:24believe in them.
37:24Last year,
37:25I was in Texas
37:26being messy,
37:27met this girl,
37:29got her pregnant,
37:31had to get an abortion.
37:34And when it was all over,
37:36I turned her in
37:36to the police
37:37because that's illegal
37:37in Texas.
37:38You can't...
37:42Can't do that.
37:42I was like,
37:43get her!
37:46Like a good
37:47Christian would.
37:50What's your name, dog?
37:52Kevin.
37:52Kevin.
37:53Everyone say,
37:53what's up, Kevin?
37:54Kevin.
37:55Kev, who you here with?
37:57My wife, Kelly.
37:58Your wife, Kelly.
37:58Nice.
37:59How long y'all been together?
38:00Ten years.
38:01Married three years.
38:01All right, all right.
38:04What about you, bro?
38:05Who you here with?
38:05My wife, Maya.
38:06Maya, okay.
38:07Yeah, strike two.
38:09Who looks romantic in here?
38:10Who look like a lover?
38:13The top?
38:14You niggas are not even here.
38:15Anyway.
38:18I can't even see you niggas, huh?
38:23What about this guy right here?
38:24What's your name, dog?
38:25Ali?
38:26All right,
38:26and who you here with?
38:28Your wife.
38:29Strike three.
38:30Yeah, fellas, look.
38:31I don't really need
38:32to be talking to you niggas.
38:34I'm a wingman.
38:35I'm here to make y'all look good.
38:37You come to the comedy show
38:38with a pretty girl
38:39and I ask you who you here with.
38:40That's a chance to say
38:40something romantic like,
38:41my beautiful date,
38:43my gorgeous wife.
38:44All three of y'all.
38:45Who this bitch?
38:46Yeah, yeah.
38:47Yeah, it's that one.
38:49That's good stuff.
38:50I'm trying to help you
38:51get a blowjob.
38:51Just say something nice.
38:54Look at Ali.
38:55He like, ask me again.
38:56No, no.
38:58But yo, that's my time.
38:59My name's Rich Thomas.
38:59Thank y'all very much.
39:07Great attitude.
39:08Cute, adorable.
39:09I like him a lot.
39:10I'm so proud.
39:11And he was real.
39:12And to hit you
39:13with the reverse reverse,
39:15like crowd work,
39:16our information,
39:17our suggestion,
39:17guys, do it at the top.
39:18Come out,
39:19get the crowd on your side.
39:20And he also had three strikeouts
39:23and then still cleans it up
39:24at the end.
39:25That I appreciate.
39:26Well, the strikeouts,
39:27the strikeouts was a part
39:28of the joke, though.
39:29Thank you for explaining that to me.
39:30yeah, I'm here with this bitch.
39:32The strikeouts were to the audience.
39:33Which is how I feel.
39:34Yeah, that's how
39:35I would introduce myself.
39:36I would never introduce you
39:37if I'm with you.
39:37I would introduce you
39:38as this bitch.
39:39You're this bitch.
39:41That's exactly who you are.
39:42I was actually going to say my queen.
39:43Don't make me throw up.
39:47I didn't think I'd make it this far.
39:48This month is my two-year
39:49remission from breast cancer.
39:51So I've just been trying to get back,
39:53being able to stand up on stage
39:55for like 30 minutes and do a set.
39:56I know a lot of these guys
39:57are like, they're touring.
39:58And I know they probably
39:59had the opportunity
40:00to do more crowd work on the road
40:01because they've had the chance.
40:02But I feel like
40:03I was doing crowd work
40:04at the hospital.
40:05I'm learning how to be
40:06a comedian now
40:08after everything I've been through.
40:09But I think it'll be worth it.
40:12And hopefully everyone knows
40:13and can see that like
40:14I'm a good comedian
40:15and I can do it.
40:17You know, I hope.
40:18I really hope.
40:18I really hope.
40:19All right, guys.
40:20Are we still here?
40:21It's my crowd still here.
40:24Guys, this is a big fucking deal.
40:27From Los Angeles.
40:29Make some noise
40:30for Felicia Fultz.
40:43Yes.
40:45It's dangerous going outside now.
40:47I don't know if y'all noticed.
40:48I don't know how y'all got here safely,
40:50but it's dangerous.
40:51Everybody, they love blasting away now.
40:53That's the thing.
40:54You cut somebody off in traffic,
40:55they ready to blast you at the light.
40:57It's dangerous outside.
41:00But I'm trained.
41:01I want y'all to know.
41:01Okay?
41:02If anything goes down tonight,
41:04I got you.
41:07I did active shooter training recently.
41:09Did any of y'all do active shooter training?
41:11I don't know.
41:11I want to know if I...
41:12Okay.
41:13Okay.
41:13Where'd y'all...
41:13What'd y'all do it?
41:14At your job?
41:15What job you got?
41:16A project manager.
41:17A project manager?
41:18People bringing guns in for the projects?
41:20What's going on?
41:22Who else?
41:23Someone else raised their hand over here too.
41:24Yeah.
41:24Where'd you...
41:24Where'd you train at?
41:26Universal.
41:27Universal Studios?
41:28Bitch, this is Netflix.
41:33We don't fuck with Universal here.
41:38That way they won't shoot me.
41:39Okay.
41:41Um...
41:41No.
41:43Okay.
41:43Where'd you get trained, man?
41:44I'm a nurse.
41:45You're a nurse.
41:45Okay.
41:46Give it up for her.
41:46Give it up for her nurse.
41:49Okay.
41:50She can shoot you and save you.
41:52She's important.
41:54Do people bring guns into the hospital?
41:56Absolutely not.
41:58I'ma do it.
42:01My doctor, that bitch won't give me a Zen pic.
42:03I'ma come in.
42:04I'ma come blasting it.
42:07Personally, I didn't like active shooter training.
42:10I didn't like it.
42:11I feel like everybody needs to be trained specifically to their life.
42:14You get me?
42:15Because I'll train y'all right now.
42:16This is all they do.
42:17They go, hey, defend yourself.
42:18Number one.
42:19First thing you need to do is defend yourself.
42:21Throw the items in front of you.
42:22Okay?
42:23Are you...
42:23Do you have anything?
42:25Oh, fuck.
42:25You ain't got shit.
42:26Okay, you got a little water bottle.
42:27We are fucked.
42:29Oh, my God.
42:30None of y'all got nothing.
42:32Goddamn.
42:32Y'all ain't got a chapstick.
42:34Okay.
42:34All right.
42:35Number two.
42:36The thing they say is run.
42:39That's hard one for me.
42:43I do stay focused on the defense because the running ain't really my shit.
42:46You know what I'm saying?
42:47Like, I can't...
42:48I'm not the Matrix.
42:49I can't dodge no bullets.
42:50I can't...
42:51This is the third thing they say.
42:52They say, see something, say something.
42:54That's the full training.
42:55This is why I don't like active shooter training.
42:58Because I feel like you...
43:00There's, like, no way you're training me, a black woman, in seeing something and saying something.
43:07No, I need y'all to really...
43:08I invent and see something, say something.
43:12Black woman, that's all we do.
43:13Have you met...
43:13No, seriously.
43:14Have you met a black woman seeing something and not saying something?
43:18You could have got there a lot faster, you know.
43:21All right.
43:21Thank you so much.
43:22That's my time.
43:22Love you.
43:31I like how active she is.
43:33I like how vibrant she is.
43:36But what was topical?
43:38Like, see something, say something?
43:39Okay.
43:39But we stayed in that bit the entire time.
43:42Yeah.
43:42Okay.
43:43That bit became the entire set.
43:45Right.
43:45And the payoff wasn't big enough for the duration.
43:49Right now, for me, in my opinion, I think Felicia and Livia, Steve, go at the bottom.
43:55Okay.
43:55And who's the last one?
43:57You still got Caitlin.
43:58So for Caitlin, I think this is a make or break moment.
44:02I'm curious to see her approach to this, and I like that we're ending it with her.
44:05Yeah.
44:06Like, right now, you're closing it out.
44:07Whenever I do a five-minute set, I go in and I prep, prep, prep, prep, prep.
44:11Like, that's who I am.
44:12And we didn't get to do that this time.
44:14They want you to be off the cuff.
44:15They want you to be present.
44:16I've never been that person.
44:17Absolutely not.
44:17I wish I had an ounce of whatever that's open my comic has.
44:23Yeah, I'm freaking out.
44:26Okay.
44:26In crowd work, there's a lot of things that can go wrong.
44:29It goes off the rails.
44:30It gets weird.
44:31What if I say something, and then they're like, well, your mom's a whore, and then I have
44:34to fight this person.
44:36It could happen.
44:38Usually, when I have a set that's really important to me, I prepare for weeks, if not months.
44:44And with this one, I didn't get to run it at all.
44:46I literally have to surrender, and I hate it.
44:50This next comic was inspired to try to stand up after seeing Chelsea Handler perform.
44:58That's a true story.
44:59Ladies and gentlemen, from Brooklyn, New York, here is Caitlin Palufo!
45:15Oh, my goodness.
45:17Oh, my goodness.
45:18Hi, everybody.
45:19We feeling good?
45:19We feeling strong?
45:21Hell, yeah.
45:22Oh, my God.
45:23I'm excited.
45:24It's April.
45:25I'm ready for a slutty summer, okay?
45:28Yes!
45:29I love that the women are screaming.
45:31I got to be honest, though.
45:32I'm having a hard time.
45:33I don't get hit on a lot.
45:35I think it's because I talk, okay?
45:38Also, the days of men hitting on women in real life are kind of over, you know?
45:42It's all about DMs, dating apps.
45:44One time, one time, a man came up to me in real life, told me I had nice teeth.
45:50I didn't know what to do.
45:51I was like, oh, my God, pick a hole.
45:57Nice teeth?
45:58We can agree that's a terrifying pickup line, right?
46:02Nice teeth.
46:04You'd make a great rain stick.
46:06Yeah.
46:07Yeah.
46:08Yeah.
46:09I did fuck that guy, okay?
46:11I fucked that guy.
46:14Yeah, no, I just, I knew he'd have a big dick, okay?
46:17I just knew it.
46:18Because he approached me, okay?
46:22Yes.
46:22This is big dick energy, okay?
46:25Absolutely.
46:27Yeah, I'm 5'8", loud as hell, and can deadlift a Vespa, all right?
46:33Everything about me says, I demand girth, okay?
46:38That's my version of catch-in' print, okay?
46:40Yeah.
46:41Yeah.
46:41Oh, if you, oh, we got some people on the slutty side of TikTok.
46:44I like that.
46:45Do you guys know what catch-in' print is?
46:48Do you?
46:48Yes!
46:49Hell yeah!
46:51My hooker showed up tonight.
46:52I like that.
46:53If you don't know what it is, okay, a gay man went on TikTok, and he told the straight
46:58ladies how to find out if a man is packin', okay?
47:02How to find out if he's got a big dick based on where his bulge is, all right?
47:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:06It's pretty straightforward, okay?
47:08It's A, B, and then damn, okay?
47:12Yes, yes.
47:13And it's will call you, won't call you, doesn't own a phone, all right?
47:17Oh, my God.
47:18I love telling men about catch-in' print.
47:21Have you heard of catch-in' print, sir?
47:22No, no, no, you didn't know, you didn't know.
47:24I love it.
47:25Do you consider yourself a grower or a shower?
47:29Answer the fucking question.
47:33Come on, buddy, don't make me stand, make you stand up.
47:36Come on.
47:37I don't give a shit who your mother is.
47:40You tell me right now.
47:48There'll be a sign.
47:50Oh, God.
47:52I hope that guy who made that video now makes a video about how to find out if a guy
47:56is circumcised or not.
47:58Yeah, because I'm only going off accents, you know what I'm talking about?
48:03Yeah, Mona Mee's got a little foreskin, you know what I'm talking about?
48:11Don't make me ask your mom.
48:20I love a foreskin.
48:21We got any foreskin in here?
48:22Come on, come on.
48:23Yeah.
48:24Oh, we got a little dangler over here.
48:27Okay.
48:28You got your foreskin.
48:30Okay.
48:30All intact.
48:31Yeah, you got the confidence of a man with his whole dick.
48:34I like that.
48:35That's good.
48:36Are you with a partner right now?
48:37Who are you fucking?
48:38I'm with my straggot.
48:40You're with your what?
48:41Straggot.
48:41What's a straggot?
48:43It's a straight.
48:44Straight faggot.
48:45Okay, thank you.
48:51Okay.
48:52Thank you for just canceling my career.
48:55I appreciate that.
48:57Kevin, he said, I repeated what he said.
48:59I didn't want to say it, but he said it.
49:02I'm a good girl.
49:03I love the gays.
49:04I love the gays.
49:04Ah!
49:06Love the gays.
49:08Yes.
49:09Gays always have a big age gap when they date, right?
49:13What's the oldest man you've ever dated?
49:15Nine.
49:16Nine years apart?
49:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:19I dated a guy who was younger than me, but he was too immature.
49:22Okay.
49:22Yeah, he was a picky eater.
49:25He had never had soup.
49:28I was like, honey, you eat ass.
49:34I've had soup.
49:37We've had soup.
49:40Your mom's laughing at that joke.
49:42Your mom's laughing at that joke.
49:44All right, you guys have been great.
49:45I'm Caleb Palufo.
49:46Bye-bye.
49:48Bye-bye.
49:50Way to make it tough, Caleb.
49:53Way to make it tough.
50:05Bye-bye.
50:05Bye-bye.
50:05Bye-bye.
50:05Bye-bye.
50:06Bye-bye.
50:08Bye-bye.
50:13Bye-bye.
50:15Okay.
50:16hey i feel good i feel good okay i feel good now i might have been the best out of
50:23the night
50:23next to her and osama was the best that girl did more improv than anyone yeah yeah osama's
50:31the only one who got to say innovation caitlin matched it the crowd atmosphere yes yeah she
50:37rocked it that was one of the best sets i've seen in a long time that was that was awesome
50:42with the assignment with the assignment okay so are we we're good bringing them out let's go i
50:47definitely was who i am and uh that was literally what i do so if i go out on that
50:53that's okay
50:54thank you so much for being so dope good night guys thank you and if you guys miss kevin when
51:02you leave here just turn on your tv and hope you see a credit card commercial it's ridiculous you
51:08really are ridiculous way to go you guys great job tonight it did not go the way i would have
51:20liked
51:20it to but what i did do people laughed at right now i don't care if i was the best
51:27which i probably
51:27wasn't but as long as i wasn't the worst i just don't want to go home i just want to
51:31stay here but
51:31we'll see how the cards fall all right only six can go okay eight minus six is don't do that
51:39my first comic that i'm going to say is moving on to the semi-finals
51:44i'm gonna go with ron
51:48you were so comfortable on stage tonight you managed to get into like what you like and somehow tie it
51:55into
51:55the crowd work so good you made the audience a part of the set and it didn't look like it
52:02was
52:02programmed so uh kudos to you for stepping up to the challenge our second comic
52:11caitlyn oh my god your set was fully embraced off of improvisation and crowd participation great job
52:20caitlyn yeah ready to continue to go that's badass that's badass what you did up there you were
52:25funny and firing on all cylinders thank you that means a lot um number three i'm gonna go winston
52:37oh winston the vibe is off by smoking pot with republicans that's your line right yes ma'am
52:43you kept it topical but and political and relatable like for people who are not following politics
52:48you kept it topical enough for them to pay attention thank you so much yes keep going
52:52listen thank you both number four usama man the way that you went to what's a touchy subject in
53:03comedy for some you seamlessly weaved in and out of it because you made it likeable and then that's one
53:10of the most artful things about stand-up is introducing difficult subject matters and making
53:15people laugh about that my number five i'm gonna go with reg man great set reg i thought it was
53:23great
53:23that you got eliminated that you came back i saw you backstage before i came out and you're like i've
53:27got nothing to lose and that's exactly what your set looked like and the fact that you flipped it
53:32and did the crowd work at the end instead of the beginning which is what kind of the opposite of
53:36what
53:36everyone did it was ballsy and that spirit of you having nothing to lose like i felt that and so
53:41congrats on fucking showing up yeah and send a thank you letter to that girl who bailed i mean
53:47yeah way to go all right guys i got one more
53:56olivia you are my six children wow thank you thank you you have not changed at all what you are
54:06is what you are going to be and there's no if ands or buts about it your jokes are hidden
54:12your
54:13punch lines are delayed and they have never not paid off congrats on continuing thank you
54:19felicia and steve we're not dealing with bad comments at this point all right we're talking
54:24about an assignment please shall start with you i think in the attack of the assignment you gave me
54:30one topic you stayed there and within crowd work it was questions and not really receiving the
54:36answers to do anything with them yeah you have incredible stage presence and you're funny as
54:42shit this just was not the right fit you know for the assignment but you're a star i i couldn't
54:48agree more
54:49oh it's really hard to be here you know i worked up to this moment um you know like two
54:56years ago i
54:56couldn't even walk so i got to walk out on that stage today and i'm very proud of myself
55:02uh nothing but love for you though absolutely and i expect to see you later on absolutely
55:06okay steve i think that you rushed a little bit i don't think you gave anything a second to like
55:12truly build or or truly land i think that caused a ripple effect because when you got to your material
55:18it started to go yeah but i will tell you you are a fucking polished comic thank you am i
55:24mad no i'm
55:25happy i was even able to experience this you know am i going to drive home in silence for sure
55:30am i
55:31going to drink alone definitely it doesn't mean i'm going to stop doing comedy or going any less
55:35hard than i have been i just want to say all of you guys have been really great and it's
55:39been great to
55:39know all you guys kevin i want to thank you for even doing this this was a huge opportunity and
55:43i don't
55:43think her and i will ever forget it and thank you for this and thank you all you guys you
55:47guys
55:47say look y'all thank you guys very much much appreciated steve thank you felicia thank you as
55:56well um congrats again for moving on of course it only gets harder from here okay i am no longer
56:03a
56:04part of the judging it is up to the world to now figure out who will be our winner man
56:08like go prepare
56:10you got a week until our next show um guys this will be a push on social uh if you
56:15guys can push
56:16yourself push your clips amplify yourselves and your talents of the world so they make no mistakes
56:21about who you are okay um next week i'll let you guys know i'll be joined by a very special
56:26guest
56:27a good friend you definitely know him um it's chris rock holy what the
56:34you guys have been with me for weeks and i said chris rock whoa it just got real
56:43well this is it six comics remain and one netflix special has been reached but for the first time
56:51the final decision is in mind we're handing control over to you you the viewers vote live to choose the
56:59win i didn't even know if i was gonna get on the show so like being here and making it
57:04all the way
57:04to the semis is crazy i'm feeling really excited very grateful and then i'm also nervous as hell i'm
57:10a man of the people i've been waiting for the world to see what the vibes all about reginald thomas
57:14what is america like we don't know what i'm gonna do to prepare is probably adderall there's no weak
57:22links we're here because we want to do this we want to win so it's like let's go man this
57:27you just scared you know if i have a heart attack somebody got to pay for that man i'm scared
57:31but
57:32i'm ready funny af goes live on may 4th and 5th oh and one more thing i'm bringing a friend
57:40one of the
57:41greatest to ever do it chris rock
57:45so they ready for the show i don't know i don't know get another stage gotta go gotta go
57:52turn another page of the chapter longer go handling this business like a pro like a pro
57:58stay authentic we gonna get it we drop in it represent it we jumped in it gotta keep it hot
58:03with the juice sauce in it never gonna stop that's proof we did it never gonna stop we never quit
58:08it
58:08never gonna stop it's just the beginning never gonna stop you thought that it ended admit it
58:14you
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