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Funny AF with Kevin Hart (2026) Season 1 Episode 8

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00:00:11Tonight is the big one.
00:00:13Four comedians will deliver the most important set of their lives.
00:00:16And it's all in your hands.
00:00:18You, the global audience at home, will determine our winner.
00:00:22Welcome to the live finale of Funny AF.
00:00:39The comedian going through to tomorrow's live finale is the drummer, Ron, Caitlyn, and Red.
00:00:50This is it.
00:00:51The finale.
00:00:52One final performance to go from dreaming of stardom to being a star.
00:00:57By winning their very own Netflix special.
00:01:00Tonight, the power to pick that star is yours.
00:01:03With live voting in real time.
00:01:06Growing up, I was like praying five times a day.
00:01:08I was going to the mosque every day.
00:01:10Then I had sex once.
00:01:11And I was like, God might not be real.
00:01:13I got invited to a Friendsgiving that turned out to be an orgy.
00:01:17And I was like, buy the key lime pie!
00:01:19You eat animals.
00:01:20That's terrible.
00:01:21That's like eating your pet.
00:01:22I ain't gonna eat my pet.
00:01:23But I eat your pet.
00:01:25I think there should be a special sex ed class for boys.
00:01:28I want Sesame Street teaching this shit.
00:01:30I want a Finger Me Elmo in every classroom.
00:01:34Who's your next comedy legend?
00:01:36This will be the most important day of my life.
00:01:38I'm just going balls to the wall.
00:01:40I'm going as hard as I can.
00:01:41If you like loud bitches, vote for me.
00:01:43It's time to bring the heat to you.
00:01:46Tonight, you crown our champion.
00:02:17sit down sit down sit down sit down thank you guys so much much appreciated as usual uh i want
00:02:31to welcome you guys i want to welcome you guys to our top four comics uh and i also want
00:02:36to let
00:02:36you know man these top four comics have killed it at every stage of this competition gotta understand
00:02:41to make it to this moment it's a big fucking deal it's a really big deal and now they've made
00:02:45it here
00:02:46well they got one last shot they got one last shot because in the next hour you watching live at
00:02:51home
00:02:52you get to pick the winner i repeat you watching live at home get to pick the winner and the
00:02:58prize
00:02:58well the prize is the most coveted opportunity in comedy it's a one hour netflix comedy special
00:03:13you know with this uh with this show i set out to find the next great stand-up comedian
00:03:19um a voice that doesn't just belong to the next generation of comedy but it defines it right
00:03:25someone original someone undeniable uh someone that has the kind of presence that shifts the
00:03:30room and reminds you why stand-up comedy matters in the first place the big question is well who
00:03:36will win it all once again it's not up to me it's up to you it's up to you at
00:03:41home okay so what i want
00:03:42to do right now i want to do a quick a quick little test to vote all right i just
00:03:46want to make sure
00:03:46that you've got everything down that you know what you're doing all right the questions below
00:03:50here's a question below i want you to get to it vote right now on your tv on your tv
00:03:55get your remote
00:03:56get your remote get your lazy ass up and get your fucking remote see i want to make sure that
00:04:04you
00:04:04guys understand this man everybody at home watching this on the platform you have somebody's career
00:04:10in your fucking hands so don't be a lazy ass and avoid the opportunity to fucking vote get your
00:04:16ass up get your control use the device now i don't mean to cuss at you i'm sorry i'm passionate
00:04:28i'm
00:04:28hyped right now guys when i say go vote understand that you have one minute you have one minute to
00:04:33vote if you have any trouble voting here's what you can do you can uh i mean i can't do
00:04:38much for you
00:04:38you can go go online go to the netflix help center uh and from there you're on your own i
00:04:43don't know
00:04:43what the fuck happens after that okay wait the results the results are coming in right now and
00:04:48it looks like it looks like most of you are planning the vote okay good that's the question at the
00:04:53bottom most of you are planning to do the right thing these comics are going to need you tonight i
00:04:58cannot stress that enough they need you all right with that being said who's ready for a great show
00:05:07that's not good enough that's not good enough yeah yeah yeah that's what i want to hear
00:05:21joining me for the final showdown are two comedy legends two comedy legends who's been essential to
00:05:29getting us to this point this very moment okay they have both delivered specials on their own
00:05:35amazing specials so they know how big of a deal this is guys do me a favor please show your
00:05:39love
00:05:39for my pals tom segura and nikki glaser yes
00:05:56yes
00:06:02uh welcome back guys so great to be back so excited for tonight first and foremost nikki you
00:06:08look beautiful tom you look amazing thank you uh i gotta say guys thank you for being a part of
00:06:13the
00:06:13process um the comics that have made it this far uh have went through a crazy amount of stages
00:06:20to get here and your voices and your uh let's say like your breakdowns as to what you like
00:06:27what you didn't like um all of that stuff was necessary it was all needed but this moment this
00:06:30moment right now for our audience watching the home for our audiences live with us uh can you
00:06:35revert back to anything with this type of pressure that you had to experience in your career nikki oh
00:06:40yeah i mean tonight is such a huge night we are really going to crown the next comedy star i
00:06:46believe
00:06:46and change someone's life with a netflix special and i could i was thinking back about when i got for
00:06:51my
00:06:51first netflix special everything changed after that you're suddenly going to clubs and people are coming
00:06:56out to see you as opposed to just because they have a groupon or they won tickets on the radio
00:07:01yeah like when you are able to go show up in a place and people are there to see you
00:07:04that's a
00:07:05defining moment that i don't think most people understand is like happens in a comics life
00:07:08that's and that that was the changing moment for me so tonight someone's going to get a
00:07:12their first netflix special it's insane
00:07:14huge it's a big deal tom yeah uh a vet in the game man you know you've been in the
00:07:21comedy game
00:07:22for quite some time a tremendous amount of success you have and that you still are having can you go
00:07:27back to any moment in your career that gives you the same level of pressure that our four comics
00:07:32performing tonight are going to experience well i mean this is live so these they got bigger balls than
00:07:37me but um i remember when i did my my half hour special the first time and they were like
00:07:43this
00:07:43is going to change your career and it definitely did not did nothing but the thing that did the half
00:07:53hour did shit i'll tell you kev what did change my career was the first time i got a netflix
00:08:00special
00:08:00that changed my career there you go there you go it is a massive deal a massive deal and nikki
00:08:08i love
00:08:08what you said you know it's all about the difference and understanding when you have fans that resonate
00:08:13with what you do with your craft that are now coming out to see you it's game changing yeah and
00:08:17to people that are watching at home and and finding their new favorite comic for the first time on the
00:08:21show look them up go see them at a club near you these people are touring all the time they're
00:08:26coming
00:08:26to places near you go see live comedy and support them yes yes not just us go to little comedy
00:08:32club
00:08:32strip malls yes go see all right guys i don't want to waste time i want to get to it
00:08:37man uh listen
00:08:39guys you have to make a big sacrifice we all do especially in this career you gotta make sacrifices
00:08:44to follow your comedy dream but this guy well he went above and beyond here is usama sadiki
00:08:5514 years ago i just had done the mcat which is the entrance exam for medical school
00:09:00uh and i had this inkling in my body to do comedy i told uh my mom and dad the
00:09:06day before i was going
00:09:07to med school hey i'm gonna do comedy and they loved it they loved it they were like are you
00:09:13gay too
00:09:13please let's just go all the way they were completely devastated when i came to new york to go for
00:09:20it it was
00:09:20like my friend who's a comic had like this squatter's den he was living in canarsie then he was like
00:09:25hey man you can live here there's no water supply but there's no rent there it is that's the house
00:09:30the crack villa there's a port-a-potty that we had to use and like every four days in the
00:09:36night we'd
00:09:36like carry this vat full of piss and we'd just like pour it into the sewage system and i was
00:09:41just living
00:09:41like that i felt so good i was like just doing as much comedy as humanly possible because i was
00:09:45like
00:09:45i love this more than i hate the circumstances the single most powerful thing you can do as a
00:09:51comic is release a netflix special so i hope to make my parents proud and make everything worth it
00:09:59all right give it up for osama siddiqui
00:10:11keep it going keep it going
00:10:18all right all right all right all right sit down sit down
00:10:28la how we doing
00:10:29i love la my uncle i was hanging out with him all day 85 years old some of us got
00:10:39the 80 plus fam
00:10:41we love them they be saying random stuff right we're just hanging out watching youtube out of
00:10:47nowhere he's like i don't like i'm like what he's like i don't like living
00:10:55pretty sad right what made this sadder is that he said this while we were watching one of my stand
00:11:01-up
00:11:01videos ouch he's like this is not comedy i will show you some comedy he starts typing in asians are
00:11:10very i unplugged the tv bro i don't know where he's going with that i love my uncle man he's
00:11:18the best
00:11:18homophobe i know
00:11:21it's different we grew up in texas it's different you know new york la very gay friendly is the best
00:11:25i'm from texas where they're like if i see a rainbow in the sky i shoot it
00:11:33okay and i keep shooting that thing till the only colors left are red white and fucking blue
00:11:47yeah and i keep shooting that till the only color left is white
00:11:59don't be homophobic straight guys don't be homophobic
00:12:02because every straight dude we all got gay moments in our day
00:12:06all right you think he's straight not when he's waking up how does he wake up he's like
00:12:16bro waking up is kind of gay
00:12:24that first yawn too
00:12:27bro sounds like you're taking a dick in your butt brother
00:12:33every dude here is like i don't wake up like that
00:12:36okay i wake up like let's go
00:12:41hustle grind
00:12:43pussy
00:12:46you say i know yourself man i'm a brown guy you know i did the 23 and me
00:12:52dna testing i'm brown
00:12:55kevin i'm so brown the paper was like you are 7 11 percent brown
00:13:07can we say white dudes were getting a little goofy with 23 and me a little bit
00:13:11one of my white friends got back 3 percent iranian next day he bought a hookah lounge
00:13:17this is the whitest dude from connecticut now he's like hello my friend
00:13:22i'm like listen dylan he's like it's dylan
00:13:27please sit down have some hummus
00:13:29i'm like you white fuck that is mayonnaise okay
00:13:34you know 23 and me was doing forensics for a little bit you know about this like if your
00:13:37family member did it you commit a crime they can cross check the dna to get you
00:13:40you heard about this how funny is that
00:13:44imagine you're a perfect serial killer right you dissolve the bodies in hydrofluoric acid
00:13:47put them in a drum drive out of the woods bury the bodies 40 feet deep
00:13:49and you get caught because your fourth cousin is like am i cherokee
00:14:05that's hello i think if i ever got caught like that i'd be like listen i'll go to jail
00:14:11let me just kill one more person
00:14:12oh my god man just just go travel that's how you learn
00:14:18you know y'all been to europe that's what i was like all last week i was in europe
00:14:22you know so crazy about americans in europe in america we're all different politically right
00:14:26then we go to europe we all become american
00:14:30immediately right like here in america i'm like a left wing you know oat milk
00:14:36you know i'm like a femme boy pussy la boo boo right
00:14:42then i go to europe take one look around i'm like me and the boys can take this shit over
00:14:46and do it
00:14:51get her fucking done
00:14:55in america i'm ordering lattes like can you add some lavender
00:14:58then i go to europe and i'm like soccer's fucking gay all right
00:15:03it's fucking gay is what it is
00:15:07europeans are soft kevin
00:15:09it's what happens to you when your healthcare system actually works
00:15:20they're saying crazy shit like had a disease went to the doctor no longer has a disease
00:15:25america we're like we're bringing back polio motherfucker
00:15:28i will say germans are kind of scary the ones that i met when they're speaking german
00:15:36right then they say one word in english and it's like we could beat you up i think
00:15:40right because they're like fallen fallen fallen then they're like you have to come to berlin
00:15:52why does every german guy go through a sex change on the way to english bro
00:15:56right fallen fallen put your fucking hands up oh we're raving now in frankfurt
00:16:04we're raving now in haagen-dazs
00:16:10last thing i'll say to the boys man hey if you're out in the streets wrap it up
00:16:13all right i'll wear a condom i'm a condom guy i'm a condom and wallet guy low-key
00:16:20every girl i know hates it my ex was like condom and wallet that's fucking creepy i'm like where
00:16:24else you want us to put it wouldn't it be creepier if you're like where's your condom and i was
00:16:28like
00:16:35even creepier if i took my pants off and i was already wearing it i was like
00:16:40yeah i've been hard this entire date y'all been great thank y'all so much so funny
00:16:45thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
00:17:02well deserved well deserved
00:17:06you know
00:17:08osama man i
00:17:10i uh i i just gotta say
00:17:13your material of choice dude uh it just continues to impress me i love how you weave in and out
00:17:21of of your topics i love how you make them personable and make the audience uh basically
00:17:27you put them in a space to see the pictures that you're painting and immediately embrace
00:17:31your stories in your world man uh and it's such a nice flow to it right like i'm never stuck
00:17:36outside of what you're talking about uh amazing set tonight what do you guys think thank you
00:17:41uh same thing the flow was amazing you we didn't even know where the next joke started or the
00:17:48last one ended you just came out of the gate you're a killer like you just killed the entire time
00:17:54which i don't think people understand how difficult that is to just out of the gate and
00:17:57keep crushing the entire time and i also want to say i just really appreciate how you just ring
00:18:02everything out of a premise that you can like as soon as you think it's over like you could have
00:18:06ended on the the the he shoots the until it's red white and blue but then you were like then
00:18:11he
00:18:11just wants it to be white like that ash and that extra thing was like that's next level great job
00:18:16tonight amazing
00:18:20dude you you crushed and and uh it's the joke it's smart you have smart comedy and you i like
00:18:27that
00:18:27you have physical stuff too but some of the jokes i love hearing something that i've never like waking
00:18:33up is gay it's so funny it's so funny and you had so many great jokes tom and i both
00:18:39looked at each
00:18:39other like why have we never thought i know it was like one of those moments yeah she has so
00:18:43many
00:18:43gay jokes but where's that one you know you you you're the originator dude thank you thank you uh
00:18:48guys one more time show your love please please stop the saddiki one time
00:18:56wow wow
00:19:00well what we are not going to do is lose that energy we're going to keep it going uh understand
00:19:05it's
00:19:05hard to survive especially when you're starting out in comedy and this guy this guy did just
00:19:09about everything there is to do and stay afloat as he followed his dreams ladies and gentlemen
00:19:13here's ron taylor take a look
00:19:20all right i'm in this bitch the finals i made it slinging these jokes man this has been the best
00:19:28job i've had i've been a lifeguard door guy i sold donuts and uh the job i have now which
00:19:36will not be
00:19:37named and i'm not even gonna tell y'all where i work because i don't want to be harassed and
00:19:41you
00:19:41know what the ice cream's delicious so fuck you now the reason i've had those different jobs is more
00:19:46to feel the time i've never had nothing to pay for i ain't have no place no house no nothing
00:19:51i lived in a van from 2015 to 2023 till it got taken i guess if you don't register the
00:20:00tags or
00:20:01whatever it can't be on the street so la stole my van winning this would be validating not to mention
00:20:08that i can buy me a new van i can stop scooping ice cream i can get crab legs and
00:20:14get me a nice
00:20:15young lady to write comedy jokes with oh boy ladies and gentlemen make some goddamn noise for ron taylor
00:20:45yeah yeah sit down sit down la
00:20:56party time yeah i had to quit partying i had to i can't party like i used to i stopped
00:21:02drinking as
00:21:03much all the rules around drinking is fucked up feel like a setup you can't drink and drive what
00:21:10the fuck is the cup holder for
00:21:14you can't drink and drive why is there a parking lot at the liquor store
00:21:20how the fuck do you think i got here on horseback
00:21:24let me in this bitch
00:21:27it's a setup then you drink you drive you go to jail what
00:21:32what year are we in you can't do something but get drunk drivers like a lane or something
00:21:41a drunk driving lane there's a lane for everything else you got a carpool lane a bus lane a bike
00:21:50lane
00:21:50a bike lane get on the bus you broke bitch
00:22:03and i'll help design it god damn it i'll make it just like you know when you take kids bowling
00:22:08you pull the bumpers up on the side that where you just oh wait shit oh shit oh wait there
00:22:13it is hold
00:22:16get where you need to go don't just lock me up and then the age how old you got to
00:22:23be to drink
00:22:2421 why says who
00:22:28why not 20 why not 22 what the fuck is so special about 21 this ain't blackjack
00:22:36you know how many other dangerous things you can do before you 21
00:22:40all of them you knew all the dangerous things you can drive a car you can have a gun you
00:22:47can you
00:22:48could be in the war fighting for motherfuckers freedom you this is the craziest one you can do porn
00:22:57is that not crazy to y'all that you can suck dick legally
00:23:02pay taxes on it
00:23:06yeah that's your real employment
00:23:15and that's the fucked up thing you can do it for a while
00:23:19after about 18 19 20 you ain't no rookie you a vet
00:23:24sucking dick is what you do
00:23:27you trying to get out the game you start picking up extra shifts you just pulled a double double
00:23:32that's full dicks now come on do the math
00:23:37you get off work you tired you sore you sticky
00:23:42you crunchy
00:23:45you go home and got a drink a capri sun what
00:23:59give that horse some tequila
00:24:03she deserves it her pussy's on fire
00:24:06you can't put a pussy fire out with hawaiian punch
00:24:11maybe i'm too progressive but i feel like if you can drink cum you can have beer
00:24:15that you
00:24:24shouldn't be washing down no goblet of jizz with sunny delight that ain't that
00:24:31they handling big dicks over there
00:24:34hey ladies listen stop putting that pressure on us to live up to them pornos and whatnot
00:24:38having big dicks i want a big dick i want a man with a big dick i want a big
00:24:41dick me too
00:24:46yeah here we are
00:24:50you get what the fuck i give you
00:24:53i ain't holding out
00:24:55i ain't lead a good dick at the house
00:24:58this it
00:24:59i brought it all with me
00:25:02standard issue
00:25:05i got the toyota corolla of dicks
00:25:10it ain't fancy but damn it you gonna get there it's efficient
00:25:13and it's reliable
00:25:24i don't even know how much that shit matter like all that size and whatnot i really feel like ladies
00:25:29y'all can't agree on it
00:25:30ladies do size matter
00:25:32okay a lot of whores in the house
00:25:34now
00:25:37i'm just serious
00:25:38no
00:25:41if you say size matter and you know what you want
00:25:43i want any woman in here right now yell out your dream size
00:25:47hold on
00:25:49who says seven that's your dream size
00:25:52call me santa claus god damn it i can give you that
00:25:55i
00:25:55i heard a lady one time say i want 12
00:26:04i said 12 what
00:26:07like 12 inches
00:26:09like 12 whole inches
00:26:1212 inches in a row
00:26:15that i can give you 12 inches but i got to fuck you twice i can't give it to you
00:26:20back to back like that
00:26:24have you seen a ruler
00:26:27for how long 12 inches is a foot
00:26:31a pound
00:26:33and i wear the lemons so you got one more to go
00:26:35you
00:26:36you want a subway sandwich in your pussy
00:26:41you want an entire italian bmt
00:26:45in your body i know all the sandwiches you want a meatball marinara
00:26:50in your muff
00:26:5212 inches that's two inches short of a comcast remote
00:26:57you want 120 channels in that pussy
00:27:01well i will watch cable no more we stream i got comcast dick i i got roku dick i got
00:27:09that's two inches short of a comcast
00:27:09ladies and gentlemen it's my time
00:27:12ladies and gentlemen it's my time
00:27:26thank you
00:27:27thank you
00:27:28thank you
00:27:28thank you
00:27:28thank you
00:27:28thank you
00:27:28thank you
00:27:36thank you
00:27:37i love you man ron raw taylor you are raw uh i can't say it enough man it truly
00:27:44comes out of nowhere and i love it i love the fact that it's unexpected uh i love your
00:27:49fucking wardrobe choice tonight i love like like like dude you you really do fit the perspective
00:27:57of a comedian man and your material does not let the audience down good shit tonight very
00:28:03very funny
00:28:03very funny
00:28:05that was so much fun it's you're just a blast to watch and again another killer set front
00:28:11to back i mean you just you brought it tonight and i you mean you started with a pro drunk
00:28:16driving joke and everyone was on board everyone's on board we just love you and and and and taking
00:28:22dick jokes to another level where i'm you're you know we've heard we feel like we've heard them all we
00:28:28certainly
00:28:28haven't you you i want more from you um and it just so good tonight it's so fun i can't
00:28:34wait to see more
00:28:35from you
00:28:37dude
00:28:39that was unbelievable you did the drunk driving you also did drunk driving stuff for a while like it wasn't
00:28:45like a quick thing and you really really broke it down it was so funny i feel like you have
00:28:50the spirit
00:28:51of an older guy right like you like that you have like the the cadence of like a robin harris
00:28:58like that type of soul
00:29:00which is the biggest compliment and it's i feel like you could be funny reading a menu you're hilarious that
00:29:05was so
00:29:05funny dude thank you so good hey man give me a favor make some more noise one more time for
00:29:10rob taylor
00:29:22all right guys look before our next performance i just want to give a shout out to the contestants
00:29:26from earlier in the season who came out tonight to support their fellow comics because that's what
00:29:32comedy is about it's the community the community is what we embrace so please show them some love man
00:29:38all right there in the front such a great group of talents i appreciate them being here tonight
00:29:47all right guys here's our next comic okay and auditions well she had the comedy cellar rolling in their
00:29:53seats let's see if she could bring that energy tonight here is caitlin palufo
00:30:01i'm a little more aggressive on stage than most i'm loud i'm not afraid to talk to people i was
00:30:07raised
00:30:08by two working class people and it was like okay you might not have all the talent but if you
00:30:12beat
00:30:12them with work ethic you can still get to where you want to go and i kind of just lived
00:30:15by that
00:30:16mentality i moved from san francisco to new york to go to grad school which was very much a waste
00:30:22of
00:30:22money i started doing comedy in new york and it was tough take off the jacket or no one's getting
00:30:28wet
00:30:29all right i went to be a full-time comedian after i did colbert and then the pandemic hit that
00:30:35was
00:30:35devastating and i went back to my day job which was art handling and i can't go back to that
00:30:40again
00:30:40but it also makes me appreciate this moment it makes me so grateful for this opportunity
00:30:46winning this competition would be huge because it puts you on the biggest platform in the world
00:30:52comedy is so subjective you can only be yourself and if the people don't really
00:30:57with me then that's okay and then the people who do me will find me and then we will all
00:31:03together
00:31:07ladies and gentlemen please give it up for caitlin
00:31:25hey hello los angeles thank you sit down sit down sit down thank you i gotta talk about my
00:31:33pussy thank you oh i'm i'm doing great i'm feeling good i'm actually i'm newly single okay yes thank
00:31:41you i was in a relationship for seven years we broke up about eight months ago so you know what
00:31:47that means right i am easy okay no it was a long time to be with something no nothing bad
00:31:56happened okay
00:31:57it was a good breakup you know it just kind of fizzled out you know a relationship's over when the
00:32:01presents get too practical for his birthday i got him invisalign that's tough happy birthday fix your
00:32:11face okay i'm tired of looking at it like this all right and sex goes out the window with an
00:32:17invisalign
00:32:17nothing kills the mood like a guy going you look sexy in an outfit let's shoot and i take this
00:32:26but he was a good guy sweet kind funny smart handsome had a good job and he had two perks
00:32:32he had a double perk okay ladies he had a big dick and he had no back hair
00:32:38thank you i love saying that out loud you really find out where the sluts are okay yeah right in
00:32:44this
00:32:44little corny little hookers hi yeah because the sluts know you never get both you get one or the other
00:32:49if
00:32:50you're lucky but both you hold on you know and i felt the vibe in here change did we feel
00:32:56that did
00:32:56we feel every single man go what the what's this perk she's talking about huh they're perks in a
00:33:04relationship they're not deal breakers so don't worry gentlemen if you don't have a big dick that's fine
00:33:08not a big deal just get funny okay yes absolutely tell us a joke while you let us down all
00:33:16right
00:33:23yeah no back hair is the real win though right we like a smooth boy yeah we like a little
00:33:28dolphin
00:33:29from the neck down don't we ladies yeah and again i'm not trying to body shame look at this you
00:33:34got
00:33:34some furry boys in the front hi i see that beard you look like you tickle okay
00:33:42there's nothing wrong with back hair okay gentlemen it's beautiful natural normal it's
00:33:47just something women want to know about before we encounter it for the first time
00:33:52it can be a little jarring a little you know takes us out of the moment it's kind of like
00:33:57when you're
00:33:57you're swimming in the ocean and then your foot touches kelp
00:34:02like oh this water is so ha ha it's a sea beast because how do we find out that a
00:34:09man has back hair
00:34:10we usually find out when we're about to have sex for the first time and that is a very different
00:34:14experience for men and women men you guys are easy you guys are stoked you're focused you come
00:34:19to that room you're like oh boy i hope she's got tits ah and then you count them out loud
00:34:25one two
00:34:28i knew that'd be two women we got a lot of other stuff going on we got heavier stuff we
00:34:34come
00:34:34to that room we're like oh boy i hope he doesn't kill me okay please let me keep my eyelids
00:34:41all right
00:34:45no we got to do a lot more maintenance when it comes to sex right ladies we got to wax
00:34:49yeah
00:34:49i'm waxing my puss puss do you know how optimistic that is i have no prospects and i'm still getting
00:34:55waxed that's crazy that is optimism that is that is car insurance with a bus pass all right i
00:35:03am waiting for my life to change clap if you're a woman who gets waxed in here who does it
00:35:09who's
00:35:09waxing oh a lot of us wow you guys doing the whole thing whole thing whole thing we got navy
00:35:15seals
00:35:15in the room god damn that's incredible i just do the sides i voted for kamala okay
00:35:25if you have ever gotten waxed as a woman you know there is no dignity in it it's so embarrassing
00:35:29they put you in the most well-lit room on the planet they make you go winnie the pooh style
00:35:34yeah shirt socks nothing in between they don't even give you a blanket they give you a little
00:35:40wet nap and they're like clean yourself up little piggy oh gross if you get the back door done you
00:35:46have
00:35:46to roll over onto your stomach and spread your own cheeks open yeah and you boys can't even trim your
00:35:54ball hair okay so the other day the other day not too long ago i'm getting waxed all right and
00:36:08you
00:36:08have to make small talk with these women you have to chit chat it's so awkward i'm laying there spread
00:36:13eagle just like so where'd you park you know apparently i distracted her because all of a
00:36:21sudden i felt hot wax where i've never felt hot wax before right down the middle a little to the
00:36:27left
00:36:28and i'm so naive i thought she could take some warm water wipe it off try again so i was
00:36:32like oh miss
00:36:33i'm just doing a bikini wax i'm not doing a brazilian and she goes oh no i said you can't
00:36:38just wipe it
00:36:38off and she goes oh no then she told me to take a deep breath and then i felt the
00:36:45worst pain i've ever
00:36:46felt it whoosh i thought she took a lip off hand to god i thought she threw my labia in
00:36:52the trash
00:36:54i was like get some ice we can reattach it it was so painful i told her to stop waxing
00:37:01i was like we're done i'll make up a story
00:37:05i'll just say i dropped a cigarette and that's what i'll say
00:37:08it's the new trend i'm rocking the good puss bad but then i was like no no no no no
00:37:15caitlin you can
00:37:16handle pain you just weren't ready for it also you don't want to be known as a woman with a
00:37:20yin
00:37:20yang pussy okay so i told her go ahead take the rest of it off and she did so now
00:37:26you're looking at a
00:37:27girl with a bald puss all right thank you thank you i appreciate it which means i had to look
00:37:35at her in
00:37:36the mirror for the first time first time in my adult life i saw what my bare vagina looked like
00:37:43and i'm looking at her and i'm looking at her i'm like oh wow
00:37:48she needs bangs
00:37:55i gotta be honest i don't have a cute looking pussy okay i got more of a
00:37:58that's what i got okay you probably got a dart a little a little yeah yeah not me no i
00:38:04got a
00:38:05working girl's puss a little ballerina pussy i got a car heart pussy that's what i got my
00:38:11pussy's been working on the docks for 20 years she pays her union do hell i think she voted for
00:38:17trump
00:38:18okay
00:38:22they don't tell you it doesn't grow back all at once
00:38:25yeah they should let you know if you take it off all at once you think it'd grow back all
00:38:29at once just
00:38:30kind of like a chia pet it grows in patchy scraggly a little lopsided i got timothy chalamet's mustache
00:38:40all right you guys have been great i'm caleb palufa thank you so much
00:38:45thank you
00:39:00good job as usual it's expected i mean you know you remain likable while talking about
00:39:07your vagina in such a a vulgar way and it comes off with so much presence so much personality uh
00:39:15and that's
00:39:16just because of your charm right there's a lot of charisma to you every time you touch the stage
00:39:20you light it up you didn't do any different tonight uh congrats on another amazing set good job tonight
00:39:25i love you so much caitlin that was so strong you were just you're so good at this and you
00:39:32make it
00:39:32look so easy which is not and um and you were just so funny tonight and thank you so much
00:39:37for
00:39:37talking about getting waxing in that kind of way that i had i've been through that too and never
00:39:43processed it in that way and i feel like you brought us all along a journey that feels so alone
00:39:47sometimes and i think that's so important about comedy is that you're able to articulate these
00:39:52things that we like struggle with and can't talk about and so i just appreciate that it's so many
00:39:57great jokes i felt like i had done all of them that there were to be done but you had
00:40:01so many uh you're
00:40:03just a joy to watch i am obsessed i love you thank you so much you make me so proud
00:40:09to be i love you so
00:40:09much thank you thank you dude you crushed that was awesome uh i've gotten waxed too i did appreciate
00:40:16all that and yeah that's i feel seen but really tom yeah in and and what i did balls or
00:40:24what are you
00:40:25doing i did my ass oh and my back did you lose a lip too huh did you lose a
00:40:30lip too i wiped clean for
00:40:32months it was awesome it was great oh he's an ally that's nice it was awesome i recommend it i
00:40:37recommend it get your ass waxed um but you're no you you're a joke machine and what i loved is
00:40:43that
00:40:43it was like it was just one after another and they're all so well written so funny you absolutely
00:40:48crushed it i loved watching your set so please keep fucking doing what you're doing so good good job
00:40:54thank you good job one more time guys came with blue phone one more time
00:41:07okay it's heating up it's heating up all right guys look to round it out this last comic has had
00:41:12his ups and downs in the competition but throughout his career well he's always known how to hustle here is
00:41:18reg thomas do i reg thomas know what it means to hustle in comedy yeah i hustle in general i
00:41:28definitely know what it means to hustle in comedy i've been promoting and running my own comedy show
00:41:32called productively stoned for 10 plus years the little kid who was sitting in elementary class
00:41:37daydreaming out the window would be very proud to see that i turned out to be this guy but like
00:41:41i had
00:41:41to work hard to get to this place i'm from a traditional family and i'm from new york city you
00:41:46got
00:41:46to hustle you got to get money and for a long time i was in comedy just not getting money
00:41:49i was just
00:41:50doing it because i knew i had to get better to get where i'm going so i did what i
00:41:54had to do like
00:41:55i remember my cousin gary passed away of cancer i held his hand till his body got cold and then
00:42:01i walked
00:42:02to go do a comedy show like i'm built different i'm a different breed man i know what it is
00:42:09i wanted to win a netflix special because it's been 15 years of me trying to get the world to
00:42:13realize
00:42:13like yo this guy's kind of funny and it's my turn now it's my time well at this time i
00:42:22want you to
00:42:22do me a favor and put your hands together for rich thomas
00:42:39there you go all right happy to be here i just uh i just got through a little bad breakup
00:42:47and uh like you know breakups are hard for everybody but what i've learned is that like
00:42:52women don't think they could be dumped you see how it stopped being funny
00:43:01fellas you know breaking up with the girl is impossible breaking up with a girl is like
00:43:05breaking up with your gym membership she like write me an essay tell me why you want to leave
00:43:12i'll review it and tell you why you're wrong
00:43:16you try to kick a girl out your life she start acting like a squatter
00:43:21she's like the county says i can stay
00:43:26me and my girl we were together for four years and it was sweet but it got toxic she called
00:43:31me cheating
00:43:32once a month and accused me of not knowing what loyalty was and then she got into a new relationship
00:43:43and she got dumped for cheating with me
00:43:50silly rabbit
00:43:54this is when it got toxic when she got caught cheating i was there for her
00:43:58i was like yo i know what you're going through right now
00:44:09now you would think telling a cheating joke at a comedy show is a good idea
00:44:14but most comedy shows are date night so i tell a cheating joke and all the fellas are like huh
00:44:24talking about some other right now my
00:44:26but personally i think cheating jokes are funny
00:44:32fellas you ever been going through a breakup and you couldn't tell your girl
00:44:41you just walk around the house sad as hell
00:44:44ain't no your girl can read your energy your girl knows when something bother you she's like babe
00:44:49what's wrong
00:44:52you wouldn't understand
00:45:00that wasn't even the worst the worst breakup i ever went through me and this
00:45:03we weren't even together we were seeing each other for 30 business days
00:45:07and i called it all off she got so upset at me she made nine instagram pages
00:45:12and they were all combinations of my name with the word bum
00:45:17so it's reg is a bum bumming ass reg
00:45:22reg thomas still bumming like the fuck
00:45:26and they were all screenshots from a sex tape we made
00:45:30no bueno they weren't even pictures of my dick they were pictures trying to embarrass me like pictures of me
00:45:36in bed without a shirt like
00:45:38bitch
00:45:41i know i got a gut i put it here
00:45:45but the angle she took the photos at looked like three niggas was in the bed i was like wow
00:45:51dying starts on monday
00:45:55she followed every comedy club i work at every comedian i know
00:45:59all my homeboys were trying to be supportive they were like we flagging it we flagging it
00:46:06we flagging the pages
00:46:10i was like that's great but could you stop liking the photos that'd be so much better
00:46:17i'm trending
00:46:20my best friend tried to give me advice but you know guys give the worst advice at a moment like
00:46:25that he's
00:46:25like that's why you gotta date white girls a white girl would have never did you like that and i
00:46:29was
00:46:29like you right a white woman would have done way worse a white girl with a moon walked into traffic
00:46:36and said i pushed her black girls and white girls just get mad different a black girl gets mad and
00:46:42now you on instagram looking crazy a white girl gets mad and niggas go missing
00:46:48me and reg were having a fight then i went on my nightly run and now reg is missing
00:46:58the whole time i'm wrapped up in the yoga mat in the back of this bitch a subaru
00:47:05i don't got no beef with white girls white girls are cool but this is this thing in my
00:47:09past if a white girl ever liked me she was never the baddest white girl
00:47:12if a white girl liked me she was like but white girl you find it a bucky's
00:47:18pajama pants in public you know the type
00:47:21i much rather dated black women black me and black women we get way along way better i love
00:47:25black women they give me my confidence they give me my drip and they can see through my
00:47:31bullshit so it keeps me honest it's like the gail king and r kelly interview all over again
00:47:38y'all know about the interview y'all know who gail king is opa winfrey's best friend
00:47:44y'all know who r kelly is phenomenal musician right and so anyway one year gail interviewed
00:47:53r kelly and r kelly lied the entire interview r kelly lied from the rooter to the tutor and gail
00:47:59just would not believe a word r kelly said and r kelly got so frustrated million he goes i'm fighting
00:48:03for
00:48:03my life and gail kept it so gay so she looked right through r kelly and said robert
00:48:15and even though she said robert all i heard was nigger stop lying that's all i really heard
00:48:24but i know i've been talking about breakups here black love is still beautiful i don't want you i
00:48:29think i'm against black love like very much pro-black love my favorite couple of all time
00:48:34my favorite couple of all time is michelle and barat
00:48:38because i don't even follow politics i'm just impressed with how much he loved his wife
00:48:43for eight whole years he always found a way to give his girl a shout out no matter what the
00:48:47speech
00:48:47was about he'd be up there giving bad news like today in the middle east we blew up a school
00:48:53on a lighter note who would have thought that a girl from the south side of chicago and i'm like
00:49:00yo
00:49:00what happened after school dog like you was telling her whole story but that's what he told
00:49:06me he told me you gotta make your girl feel special you gotta make your girl feel like a rock
00:49:09star
00:49:09like i like your girl with a nice booty but if the next girl i fall in love with got
00:49:13a little booty
00:49:16like she don't got no booty i'm gonna treat that little booty like it's the biggest ass i've ever seen
00:49:23and every time she get naked i'm gonna make a scene about it
00:49:26and i'm a real new york i'm gonna sell it like damn baby are you curfling with all this
00:49:33what's supposed to do with all this booty you trying to kill a
00:49:37whole time she in my bed
00:49:41because women do it for us all the time the first time they see us naked you be like
00:49:48patchy back hair i love patchy back hair
00:49:54baby that's my time i need to write it's time to thank you all very much
00:50:06reg reg reg reg
00:50:09you know i i i don't know a better way to say it man i mean like since you returned
00:50:16you came back
00:50:17different and it's not because you are different it's because you had all the things that you're
00:50:22showing and putting on display now you had it then but you didn't get to it yet and when you
00:50:27got the opportunity to get to it you've done nothing but show out man your your material
00:50:36it's it's it's it's so dope it's so honest it's so relatable and you do it while not ever
00:50:42while not ever losing your foundation of where you from and who you are like the new york never
00:50:47goes away regardless of your topic regardless of what you're talking about man it's dope as
00:50:51fuck to see you and see you shine the way you've been shining good set man congrats again for another
00:50:56amazing performance man
00:50:57that was incredible i you know what my favorite thing about watching a comic like you is like i feel
00:51:04like we're friends now after i just saw that set i feel like i know you more it felt like
00:51:08we were
00:51:08hanging out you are such a natural you were able to not only have just great jokes but you told
00:51:14a
00:51:15really vulnerable somewhat embarrassing story that just felt so intimate that pulled us in and then
00:51:20you did pop culture references to close it out like you had everything in that set i just think you
00:51:24are
00:51:25just so good and you're so you deserve to be here so much i'm so glad i got to watch
00:51:30you tonight
00:51:33amazing right that was tremendous first of all thank you for acknowledging how amazing r kelly is
00:51:39as a musician because he is but the guy's unbelievable but
00:51:46it he really is he should be back but what i was but what i love is a i love
00:51:52watching stand-ups that
00:51:53have like what i call like confessional sets people who talk about their life nobody else can do the set
00:52:00that you just did you know what i mean nobody else can take that singular to you
00:52:05it was so funny so solid congratulations that was a fantastic set so good amazing
00:52:12give that for rash thomas one more time ladies and gentlemen one more time
00:52:19all right now we have seen four comments we have seen four sets but it is out of their hands
00:52:29now because it's time it is time for you at home you at home will decide the winner of funny
00:52:35af so what
00:52:37i want to do right now i want to get the others back out here man make some noise for
00:52:40your finalists
00:52:41tonight man usama ron kaitlyn and rich
00:52:52holy time holy time holy
00:53:01four finalists
00:53:06four different comedians four different styles uh it's been a long road it's been a long road
00:53:15Whatever happens man. I want you to know all four of you truly like you did a truly amazing job
00:53:21man
00:53:21Not just tonight, but throughout this whole experience you guys have earned this moment
00:53:26And I mean that like those are big facts you earn the right to be on this fucking stage tonight
00:53:31So sit in that for a second and realize that you're here because you're supposed to be okay
00:53:41But now
00:53:43Well now
00:53:44Now it's time for you to do you to step up
00:53:47I'm talking about you the people at home. It's time for you to step up and vote for the winner
00:53:53of funny AF
00:53:53I cannot stress this enough. I need your participation
00:53:57I need your votes in real time so that we can change the lives of one of these goddamn four
00:54:04finalists on this stage
00:54:05So the final vote is open now. You got one minute. You got one fucking man
00:54:12One minute
00:54:15Do your job people
00:54:16Do your job
00:54:18I did my job
00:54:22I
00:54:23And I made that talent deliver so do your fucking job
00:54:27Match my energy and the energy of all that have participated in the show with me and fucking vote in
00:54:32real time right now
00:54:34While you do that I want to give you guys a little recap about four comics tonight. Take a look
00:54:42Cause every straight dude we all got gay moments in our day
00:54:46Right? You think he's straight? Not when he's waking up. How does he wake up? He's like
00:54:56Bro, waking up is kinda gay
00:55:02You want an entire Italian BMT
00:55:06In your body
00:55:07I know all the sandwiches
00:55:08You want a meatball marinara
00:55:11In your muff
00:55:1312 inches
00:55:14That's two inches short of a Comcast remote
00:55:18You want 120 channels in that pussy
00:55:22Then she told me to take a deep breath
00:55:26And then I felt the worst pain I've ever felt
00:55:28And whoosh, I thought she took the lip off
00:55:30Hand to God
00:55:31I thought she threw my labia in the trash
00:55:35I was like, bitch, get some ice
00:55:37We can reattach it
00:55:39She called me cheating once
00:55:43A month
00:55:44And accused me of not knowing what loyalty was
00:55:50And then she got into a new relationship
00:55:52And she got dumped for cheating
00:55:54With me
00:55:59Silly rabbit
00:56:09Well
00:56:11We are back
00:56:13We are back
00:56:14We are live
00:56:16I gotta say it again
00:56:17Great job
00:56:17You fucking took the stage
00:56:19You all stepped up to the stage
00:56:20You did what you were supposed to do
00:56:22But I love the fact
00:56:22I love the fact that we are looking at
00:56:24Four different comedians
00:56:25Four different styles
00:56:26Right?
00:56:27Four different approaches to the craft
00:56:29Of stand-up comedy
00:56:30And although I'm a fan of all
00:56:33I love the fact that it's not in my hands
00:56:35I love the fact that it has nothing to do
00:56:36With me or my decision
00:56:38It has to do with those that are watching
00:56:40I love the fact that I am not responsible
00:56:43For whatever feeling
00:56:45The losers have when this is all over
00:56:47Okay?
00:56:48Well, yeah, you're winners
00:56:50But some will lose
00:56:51It just is what it is, Reg
00:56:52This is where we gotta rip the band-aid off
00:56:54Okay?
00:56:55What I wanna know right now
00:56:56Is the pressure
00:56:57I wanna know how you fucking feel
00:56:59Reg, you just had a phenomenal set
00:57:00How do you feel knowing
00:57:01That you're waiting
00:57:02On the fucking people?
00:57:04How do you feel?
00:57:06I feel phenomenal
00:57:07Because I did what I was supposed to do
00:57:08I just need them to do what they do
00:57:09Okay, okay
00:57:10Uh
00:57:12Caitlin
00:57:12I wanna know how you feel
00:57:14You just had a phenomenal set
00:57:16How are you feeling in this moment
00:57:18As you wait on the people
00:57:20To do their fucking jobs
00:57:22I really hope I didn't
00:57:23Uh
00:57:24Tell everybody I have a bad wax
00:57:25For no reason
00:57:26Okay
00:57:27Okay
00:57:33Ron
00:57:34Ron
00:57:35Tell the people that are watching
00:57:37What you are feeling in this moment
00:57:39As you are waiting on them
00:57:41To do their fucking jobs
00:57:43What is your feeling now?
00:57:46Uh
00:57:46I feel good
00:57:47I feel appreciative
00:57:48And I feel like
00:57:49Y'all shouldn't drink and drive
00:57:51I'm sorry I said that
00:57:54Thank you
00:57:55Thank you
00:57:56Thank you
00:57:56Thank you
00:57:56Thank you
00:57:57Thank you
00:57:58Last one
00:58:00How do you feel?
00:58:02Uh
00:58:03I just wanna say
00:58:04Uh
00:58:04I just love my family
00:58:05My mom, my dad, my brothers
00:58:07Uh
00:58:07And I'm just happy that they're watching
00:58:08And that's really all
00:58:09That I'm feeling right now
00:58:10Is love for them
00:58:11That's it
00:58:11For real
00:58:12For real
00:58:13Okay
00:58:16All right
00:58:18The vote is now closed
00:58:19Okay
00:58:20The vote is closed
00:58:22And the results
00:58:23Are in
00:58:25It has been
00:58:26I wanna say
00:58:27It has been an honor
00:58:28An honor
00:58:28To watch all of these comics
00:58:30Throughout the season
00:58:30It truly has
00:58:32Um
00:58:33But it's no
00:58:33It's no need to waste time
00:58:34We're here
00:58:35We're here now
00:58:35So here we go
00:58:36We are going to announce
00:58:37The top two
00:58:40Okay
00:58:41We're gonna announce
00:58:42The top two
00:58:44In no particular order
00:58:45This is in no particular order
00:58:46Based on the worldwide vote
00:58:48The first comic
00:58:50Into the top two is
00:58:52Get my envelope
00:58:53Get my envelope
00:58:54Give me
00:58:55We live
00:58:55Give me the goddamn envelope
00:59:00Before I open this envelope
00:59:06I just want y'all to know
00:59:08That the winner of this competition
00:59:10Walks away
00:59:11With a
00:59:12Hour special
00:59:14On Netflix
00:59:15On the platform
00:59:20That's what the winner will get
00:59:21And right now
00:59:22Right now
00:59:24We are a step closer
00:59:25To knowing who the winner will be
00:59:27Because this is about the top two
00:59:28So the first name
00:59:29Of the top two is
00:59:46Ron Taylor
01:00:08Oh shit
01:00:12Oh shit
01:00:15Well I want to know
01:00:16I want to know
01:00:17Who else has made it
01:00:18Into the top two
01:00:20I don't want to wait
01:00:21I want to know
01:00:21I want to know
01:00:22Who else is in the top two
01:00:24Envelope
01:00:24Get my envelope man
01:00:29Before I open this envelope
01:00:31I'm joking
01:00:32I'm joking
01:00:33I'm joking
01:00:37Osama Sadiqa
01:00:39Oh shit
01:00:40Oh my god
01:00:45Oh my god
01:00:49One quick
01:00:54Wait a minute
01:00:55Wait a minute
01:00:55Wait a minute
01:00:56Listen
01:00:58Listen
01:01:01Give me a second
01:01:02Give me a second
01:01:03Give me a second man
01:01:05Reg, Caitlin
01:01:06Before you guys leave
01:01:07A true heartfelt moment
01:01:08For me to you
01:01:10I love the fact
01:01:11That
01:01:12You were eliminated
01:01:14Made an alternate
01:01:15Came back
01:01:16Came back with a chip
01:01:17On your shoulder
01:01:17And showed the fuck out
01:01:18You showed
01:01:21Brother
01:01:24You are a polished comedian
01:01:26You are a seasoned comedian
01:01:28When you say you've been doing it
01:01:29For 15 years
01:01:30It is obvious
01:01:31It does not shock me
01:01:32It does not blow me away
01:01:33Everything about you
01:01:34Says poised, polished
01:01:36More importantly
01:01:37Man well crafted
01:01:37Thank you for participating
01:01:39Thank you for being
01:01:39Thank you very much
01:01:40For having me
01:01:44Thank you so much
01:01:46I
01:01:50I
01:01:53I watched
01:01:55I watched
01:02:00Caitlyn
01:02:01I watched Caitlyn destroy
01:02:03Through this entire competition
01:02:05I watched you
01:02:05I watched you kill
01:02:07The fucking stage
01:02:08In New York
01:02:09Twice
01:02:10I made the decision
01:02:11To stop
01:02:12And pass you
01:02:13In the middle
01:02:14Before we were making decisions
01:02:16And that
01:02:17That energy that I have
01:02:19That energy that I have
01:02:21Towards you
01:02:21Does not change
01:02:22Like
01:02:22Yes
01:02:23You are not
01:02:24In the final two
01:02:25But fuck
01:02:25Caitlyn man
01:02:26You are
01:02:27You are dominant
01:02:28You are a real
01:02:29Second comedian
01:02:30Thank you
01:02:31Thank you
01:02:32Thank you so much
01:02:34Thank you
01:02:35One more time
01:02:36Wait wait wait wait
01:02:37Wait wait wait
01:02:38Nikki
01:02:40I
01:02:40I'm such a huge fan
01:02:42Of Caitlyn
01:02:42And Reg
01:02:43I was wondering
01:02:44If you guys
01:02:45Would want to open
01:02:45For me
01:02:46On my tour
01:02:46This long
01:02:47I would
01:02:48It would be
01:02:50I'm
01:02:51I just want my show
01:02:53To be as good
01:02:53As possible
01:02:54Hold on
01:02:56Hold on
01:02:58God damn it
01:03:00For those who
01:03:01Did not hear
01:03:02What Nikki just said
01:03:03Can I say a little
01:03:04Can I say a little
01:03:04Can I say a little
01:03:04Nicky just offered
01:03:05Caitlyn and Reg
01:03:06A fucking opportunity
01:03:08To open for her
01:03:08On the tour
01:03:09That's
01:03:10What the community
01:03:11Is about
01:03:12I want to be around
01:03:12You guys
01:03:13And learn from you
01:03:14You're incredible
01:03:15Just say yes
01:03:15Will you do it
01:03:17I love it
01:03:18Get out of here
01:03:18Go
01:03:19Get out of here
01:03:22All right
01:03:27All right
01:03:29Okay guys
01:03:32Shit man come on up
01:03:33Let's walk up
01:03:34Right here
01:03:35One on this side
01:03:36One on this side
01:03:36Okay
01:03:38We are
01:03:39We are down to the top two
01:03:43I mean this is huge guys
01:03:44It's a huge accomplishment
01:03:46It's a huge accomplishment
01:03:47But unfortunately
01:03:48Only one of them
01:03:48Will walk away
01:03:49With their very own
01:03:50Netflix comedy special
01:03:52A lot of tension
01:03:53A lot of pressure
01:03:54In the room
01:03:55And it should be
01:03:56So fuck it
01:03:58Let's just get to it
01:03:59Okay
01:03:59Here we go
01:04:01Here we go
01:04:01It's between Ron Taylor
01:04:04And it's between
01:04:05Asama Sadiqa
01:04:08The viewers
01:04:09The viewers
01:04:12Around the world
01:04:14Have voted
01:04:14And the winner
01:04:16Of Funny AF is
01:04:31World 10
01:04:32Over the front
01:04:33And the winner
01:05:05hey man
01:05:08just give me give me a second
01:05:11and i'm not i'm not gonna get
01:05:14i'm not gonna get too emotional in the moment
01:05:17but i know what it's like to have a fucking story
01:05:20to have a hard story
01:05:23to have a fucking hard story
01:05:25you're looking at two real difficult road maps to get to this stage tonight man
01:05:29and i know the fucking feeling ron that you have in this moment
01:05:33and i resonate with it i see it on your fucking face
01:05:37for somebody
01:05:41for somebody that truly wants to see
01:05:45somebody else do amazing things in the business
01:05:48it's dope as fuck to fucking help somebody
01:05:50with a story like yours congrats man
01:06:01bro
01:06:04i'll i'll say this
01:06:06and and i want the world to hear it
01:06:09i don't know if you got a manager
01:06:10i don't know if you got an agent
01:06:11i don't know if you have representation
01:06:12but i will tell you your phone is about to light up
01:06:15because you're a fucking star
01:06:24at this point man
01:06:27i think once again to all of our contestants that participated
01:06:31uh what an amazing show what an amazing journey
01:06:33and yes we can have one winner
01:06:36but i told all of those that participated
01:06:38you all win
01:06:39you all got to show your face on the biggest platform
01:06:41you all got to be seen
01:06:45but celebrations are due
01:06:47and ron taylor
01:06:49you deserve your fucking moment to stand in front of that crowd
01:06:52and god damn reap the benefits of your win
01:06:55please make some noise
01:06:57for ron fucking taylor
01:07:16ron we we we just need to hear from you in this moment
01:07:20like what are you what are you feeling
01:07:23what are you thinking
01:07:24what does the moment mean to you
01:07:30first of all i want to say thank y'all man
01:07:32thank y'all
01:07:33thank y'all
01:07:34that's number one
01:07:36uh
01:07:37i'm gonna be completely real with y'all
01:07:39i i i did not think i was gonna win this bitch dog
01:07:42i promise you
01:07:43i swear dog
01:07:45and i'm glad i was wrong
01:07:46i'm gonna thank my family
01:07:47all my friends supporters fans everybody
01:07:55i'm gonna make it my mission not to waste this opportunity man
01:07:59so i want to show y'all
01:08:01y'all pick the right one
01:08:03i love y'all
01:08:04i want to thank you
01:08:05brother tom
01:08:06miss nicky
01:08:07brother kev
01:08:08i thank all of y'all everybody
01:08:10i just thank you
01:08:11i love you
01:08:11appreciate it
01:08:15all right uh
01:08:17before we wrap up
01:08:18two things i want to give you ron
01:08:19one
01:08:19i'm gonna give you that card
01:08:21i think you should keep that
01:08:22this is the first season
01:08:24of funny af
01:08:25uh
01:08:27you are
01:08:29my first winner
01:08:30on funny af
01:08:32i can only hope
01:08:33that after this
01:08:35so many more will want the same opportunity
01:08:37that was had for you
01:08:38and that so many more
01:08:40strive to walk away
01:08:41with something as gracious as our
01:08:43netflix special
01:08:44i want you to take the moment
01:08:45seize the moment
01:08:46but yo like
01:08:47make sure you step up to the moment
01:08:49fucking knock this hour
01:08:50especially a lot of the part
01:08:51and god damn it
01:08:52i'm looking forward to seeing you
01:08:53on more things
01:08:54and doing more work with you
01:08:55it's that simple
01:08:55okay
01:08:56now
01:08:58what i want to do
01:08:59i want to invite you over here
01:09:02before we go
01:09:03i want to invite you to sit on the couch
01:09:07that's right
01:09:07come sit on the couch
01:09:09come sit on the couch
01:09:11because ron you deserve a seat at the goddamn table
01:09:14okay
01:09:16you deserve a seat at the table
01:09:21i gotta say thank you to mickey
01:09:23i gotta say thank you to tom
01:09:25uh
01:09:26i also gotta say thank you to my partners at netflix
01:09:29thank you for believing in the vision
01:09:30seeing the vision
01:09:31and more importantly
01:09:32supporting the outcome
01:09:34of the vision
01:09:35there is no me
01:09:36without you netflix
01:09:37i also want to thank all the viewers
01:09:39that participated
01:09:40that voted
01:09:41uh
01:09:42i want you guys to know
01:09:43my name is kevin hart
01:09:45tune in for the roast
01:09:47on goddamn may 10th
01:09:48i'm gonna fuck shit up
01:09:49goodnight
01:09:50i want you to know
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