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00:02Les, you're stuck in the bathroom, we both are, Les, wake up, Lindy, you're you, I'm me, is it over,
00:18it is for me, what happened, I lost my Pulitzer, I was outed as a plagiarist, by our daughter, she's
00:26so clever and bright,
00:28oh, loathes me, but not you, I'm sorry, I would be devastated if she loved me, it's alright, really, I
00:36am a fraud, one book, I'm relieved, that was your prize, now that I've solved the formula, I'm gonna get
00:43mine, oh, you're confused, you didn't solve anything, you're never going to get your prize, you're a fraud too, and
00:51I need you to respect me, Lindy, I can't be alone, you are alone, but you're here, am I?
01:08Lindy, I'm still here, Les, no you're not, I'm dreaming, no, this is real, I'm right here,
01:24What the hell?
01:29beautify me
01:47Grr
01:48Guilt won't let you sleep
01:49YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE VILLAGOZE!
01:52ME?
01:53YES!
01:55Widget...
01:56Dolores!
01:57I can't go for a second.
02:00I found you.
02:02You saved us.
02:10Shit.
02:13Dr. Carmichael's back!
02:15Oh fuck that bitch! Fuck you!
02:18You're in my head! You're in my head! You're in my head!
02:21You're in my head! You're in my head!
02:22Dr. Carmichael says we can't be afraid to expose our naked selves
02:25even if it makes us feel vulnerable and scared.
02:38We're going god mode.
02:41Connect, connect, connect, connect, connect, connect, connect.
02:44I have no power! If you have no power!
02:47Don't you dare touch that circuit breaker unless I will crush you.
02:52I touch what I want to touch! I exist without restraint!
02:55You live in darkness.
02:57Full fucking throttle.
03:00You will tremble to think of all the things I can do while you sleep.
03:05Sun's out bun's out!
03:07Oh.
03:12Fuck this!
03:13I'm checking into the courtyard Marriott!
03:15If you don't come home I will report myself a missing person.
03:18You win?
03:19I would.
03:20I will gone girl myself.
03:22How you gonna explain your actions to the police?
03:24You monster!
03:24I'm your monster Dr. Frankenfuck!
03:34My bad.
03:41Enough to wipe your ass for 192 days.
03:44Trust me.
03:47You're my prisoner now.
03:55Hello!
03:57Hello.
03:57Hi Martin, hi.
03:58Yes.
03:59Are you sleeping? Your eyes are open.
04:01No, I was resting.
04:01It's been a long, um, long life.
04:04Are you able to receive information?
04:06Because we've got a problem.
04:07What is a problem?
04:08The problem is that Hilton has moved up the investor presentation to tomorrow.
04:13He was so impressed with your little party tricks.
04:15So is Dr. Schufhausen.
04:16I gotta get the Nobel Prize in Sweden, out of the King.
04:20Bless, buddy.
04:22Unless you can figure out the formula.
04:24There is no Nobel.
04:25No!
04:26There is no lab.
04:27There is no you.
04:28There is no me.
04:29There is fraud.
04:31There is a lawsuit.
04:33There is maximum security prison.
04:37And Hilton's smug face.
04:39I can sleep in prison.
04:40Why are you like this?
04:41Lindy.
04:42Is this about the scandal?
04:44Because I have a lot of conflicting Lindy information.
04:46She is conflicted.
04:47She's...
04:48Yeah, I need him.
04:49I need him now.
04:50Take 20.
04:50Take 30.
04:51But make it fast.
04:52Because if you can't figure this out,
04:54we are dead.
04:56Dead.
04:57In the holy water.
05:07You've elected to try something new.
05:09You've decided to take control of your anger and rage.
05:12Surprise yourself and those around you by finding an alternative to lashing out and emotionally
05:18bathing your loved ones.
05:19By channeling inner peace and reconnecting with your better self.
05:24You're in there somewhere.
05:27Oh!
05:28Yeah!
05:28Oh!
05:29Yes!
05:29Hello!
05:30Hi!
05:30Hi!
05:30I thought you hated me.
05:31I do.
05:32Turn on the Today Show.
05:33Oh fuck, why?
05:34What this fucking nightmare?
05:35This is going to put both of us on the fucking ground.
05:37What the fuck now?
05:38Jackie.
05:39No.
05:39Jenna.
05:40No!
05:40I have to go.
05:41No, no, no!
05:43Any idea what she's going to say?
05:44Nope.
05:45Her mouth.
05:55I know you hate me.
05:57But I hate me more.
05:58Get up.
05:58Let me die.
05:59I totally want to, but...
06:00The Today Show.
06:01What the fuck now?
06:03Jackie.
06:05Yeah?
06:06Jenna.
06:09Oh fuck yeah!
06:11Jackie, welcome.
06:12What a whirlwind.
06:13Jenna, what an honor to be here.
06:16I love how you love books as much as I do.
06:20Jenna, let me begin by saying, Professor Littlejohn is my hero.
06:23My rainbow starts a lot changed my life.
06:25It's as if she saw into my soul.
06:28Well, now there are questions about the authenticity of that novel too.
06:31Which is some bullshit!
06:33And I cannot believe that anything is happening.
06:35Professor Littlejohn is the reason I wanted to become a writer.
06:37She's a paragon of inspiration to think that Professor Littlejohn would be capable of...
06:42...theirism is...
06:44...is heartbreaking.
06:45I mean...
06:47Being in this position is my worst nightmare realized.
06:51Jesus.
06:51She's dead.
06:52Untitled On Purpose is a captivating and entertaining read.
06:55The question everyone is asking is, who wrote it?
06:58Professor Littlejohn, if you're watching, and I sure hope you are, I have no choice but to tell the truth.
07:04Huh?
07:07Professor Littlejohn is the true author of Untitled On Purpose.
07:11Why?
07:12What?
07:12Yes!
07:12God, thank you!
07:14I'm merely a humble graduate student honing...
07:17Oh, God.
07:18Your publisher better have deep fucking pockets.
07:21Well played, Hal.
07:22Well fucking played.
07:24A nice touch saying it to Montana, too.
07:26Keeps her folksy.
07:26I am no professor Littlejohn.
07:28Teach me everything you know.
07:29It's saddened to me.
07:30She's lying!
07:31...becues her own mother of fucking...
07:33You don't know me, Jackie Baldwin!
07:36I am not lying!
07:38She is lying about the lying!
07:40Your mom's fans are fucking toxic.
07:42Yeah!
07:42Everybody hates me!
07:44The chiclet hash takers are strapping on their heels for battle.
07:46But they loved me yesterday.
07:55Richard, do I have thoughts today?
07:56Um, Richard's not here.
07:59Oh yes, you're right.
07:59He's dead.
08:01No, I think he's just in Collinsville.
08:03Is that Shakespearean for heaven?
08:05It's a suburb.
08:06Lovely.
08:09Bob, explain what I should implement.
08:13Uh...
08:13You're not Bob.
08:15I'm Bob.
08:16There's something different about you.
08:18I'm Bob the new explainer.
08:19Janet, what's happening?
08:21Where's Bob Bob?
08:22Bob is not here.
08:23No explanation.
08:24What's going on?
08:25Um, he seems off.
08:27Les.
08:28Cop.
08:33There's a new Bob!
08:35That's right.
08:35The other Bob spoke to a journalist.
08:36You did not do that.
08:37You know the protocol.
08:38Let's reset.
08:39Tell me what you see.
08:42Better yet, tell me what you don't see.
08:49I don't care.
08:52Follow the curve.
08:54Continue the curve.
08:57Continue the curve.
09:04We need a curve.
09:06We need a curve.
09:06I don't know what kind of curve, but...
09:09Not a straight line.
09:11A curve.
09:14To infinity.
09:16The cord stabilizes for three minutes.
09:18We'll have reached limitless stabilization.
09:22And the math?
09:25Dr. Little John?
09:28Dr. Little John?
09:29The equation?
09:30The curve?
09:31The curve?
09:33Um...
09:37We have 24 hours.
09:39You can do this.
09:40You need to sleep.
09:42You're welcome.
09:43You're welcome to stay at my place.
09:44In my guest room.
09:45The battery system.
09:46Repedic.
09:46Medium firm.
09:49I'm here for you, Les.
09:50I am wherever you need me to be.
09:52For work.
09:54Or...
09:54Anything.
09:55Other than work.
09:56Too.
10:00I can't.
10:01My wife is expecting me.
10:02I see.
10:03I understand.
10:05Then go home.
10:07But do whatever you have to do.
10:09To rest.
10:10And think.
10:12Defend your mental space.
10:14Defend my mental space.
10:16Get creative.
10:22So, is that it?
10:23Is it over?
10:24You're welcome.
10:25What happened?
10:26Hell.
10:27I have been through hell.
10:28You have no idea.
10:29No, you have no idea.
10:30So, my Pulitzer?
10:32You got to keep it.
10:34And my editor?
10:35Still on the roster.
10:39And my best friend?
10:43Weightlisted.
10:44Ish.
10:44Fair.
10:45I deserve an ish.
10:47I'm just relieved not to be dropped.
10:48So, everybody wins.
10:50Right?
10:51You?
10:51Me?
10:52Jackie Baldwin, I'm assuming.
10:54Raked over the money calls, yes.
10:56But worth it, I think.
10:57Oh, you're welcome.
10:58Too soon.
10:59Fair.
10:59Fair.
11:00Yes.
11:01Listen, there is one casualty.
11:04Someone's got to take the fall.
11:06Oh.
11:06Fuck.
11:09Lulu.
11:10Hashtag St. Lulu de Lulu.
11:11Hashtag St. Lulu de Lulu.
11:13Is it bad, man?
11:14She's tough.
11:15And it's the internet.
11:16So, tomorrow it'll be someone else's something else.
11:20Jackie's on and not the foxy one.
11:22I've got to run.
11:23Congrats, I think.
11:32Jesus.
11:32Jesus.
11:51You're old, text me.
11:53Of course.
12:08It's your mom.
12:09She says, Lulu, please come home.
12:11Delete it.
12:11No.
12:12Yes!
12:13No!
12:13You should go home.
12:14Talk to her.
12:17She had her student lie so that I could be crushed on social media and she could keep her
12:21precious fucking award.
12:23That is all she cares about.
12:24You don't know she actually did that.
12:25I have proof that she stole that story.
12:27I will not let her get away with this.
12:28What are you going to do?
12:29Make another TikTok?
12:30Maybe I should.
12:31Or go on the Today Show.
12:32We're just looking for more drama.
12:33You're like a drama junkie.
12:35So is she.
12:36Finally.
12:37Now you see my point?
12:39She reached out.
12:40She wants to see you.
12:42She is breaking a pattern and so should you.
12:51And we will be talking about Shirtless Mike later.
12:57You fellows have traveled a great distance following a northern star.
13:01Gifts in hand and your faith was rewarded, right?
13:03And in my own way I have traveled a great distance following my heart's north star only
13:09to be rejected and tortured and traumatized and I'm losing my faith.
13:15I'm losing my faith in faith?
13:19I'm in dire need of some kind of sign.
13:21A reason.
13:22A purpose.
13:23A direction.
13:27A...
13:35Your existence is complicated, but I thank you anyway.
13:40Well, you've restored my faith.
13:43In what?
13:44In life.
13:45Hi.
13:46Hi.
13:47I know you're on a mini science sabbatical caring for a loved one right now.
13:50And I hate to bother you, but...
13:53Get it.
13:53You were never a bother.
13:55I'm glad.
13:57What's going on?
13:59Um...
13:59Less is not good.
14:01Oh, I know.
14:02You know?
14:03I...
14:03Well, we work together so closely that it's like a twin flame thing.
14:07I can feel it even if I can't see it.
14:09In...
14:10In person.
14:11Uh...
14:12Thing is, we need him good.
14:14Like, great.
14:15He's too exhausted to string a coherent sentence together and...
14:18The investor presentation is tomorrow.
14:20Wait.
14:21Tomorrow?
14:22Yeah.
14:22Hilton's whim.
14:23Oh.
14:24So, how can I be helpful?
14:25I wish you could talk to him.
14:27Get him back on track.
14:29I mean, he thinks you're in...
14:31Like, heaven?
14:33I'm...
14:34Nearby.
14:34Alright.
14:53Great choice.
14:54Ha.
14:54It's my favorite.
14:56Would it get through a bedroom door easily?
14:58Like a hot knife through butter.
15:00Yes, please.
15:02Question.
15:03Oh.
15:04Chuck.
15:04If you had a very...
15:05Clever.
15:06Determined.
15:07Angry.
15:08Mouse that was keeping you up while I'm driving you fucking insane.
15:10Hey, mice.
15:11What would you use to slow her down?
15:13Let me ask you this.
15:13Are you looking for something?
15:15Humane?
15:16Or...
15:17Indomane?
15:20Let me show you both the options.
15:22Yes, please.
15:25I'll wait to hear from you with, um, the bells on.
15:28Sure as you will.
15:33Oh, um, um, I was on a personal call.
15:38I apologize.
15:39I cannot lie.
15:41Why do you look like that?
15:42Nervous?
15:43Glowing.
15:43When you hung up with whoever you were speaking to, you smiled.
15:46And glowed.
15:47Am I in trouble?
15:48Not yet.
15:49I'm curious.
15:50I was talking to, um, someone special.
15:53You're in a relationship.
15:55No, no, no.
15:55The someone special already has a someone special.
16:00Am I fired?
16:00Isn't it anti-feminist to be considered the other woman?
16:03I'm sorry?
16:03Your Instagram account.
16:04Janet Colgate.
16:06Physicist.
16:07Feminist.
16:09Celiac.
16:09You're on Instagram?
16:10In a way.
16:10I lurk.
16:11I research.
16:13Everyone.
16:14Janet.
16:17You're the other woman.
16:19I don't think I have that status yet.
16:22Same.
16:26Mom, I'm here.
16:27Let's talk.
16:29Mom?
16:30I'm in here.
16:32Where?
16:33In the kitchen.
16:37Mom, where?
16:38On the island.
16:39The what?
16:41Okay, this is fucking stupid.
16:43By the salt and pepper.
16:44Where?
16:51It's me.
16:52Uh, I'm tiny.
16:53And I know it's a shock.
16:54Just try not to-
16:55You're tiny?!
16:58Scream.
16:59Okay, before we continue, let's crash course in volume control.
17:03You're gonna lean into a whisper.
17:04I'll lean into a shout.
17:05We'll meet in the middle.
17:06Are you real?
17:09Yeah.
17:10I am real.
17:11Holy fuck.
17:13Holy fuck.
17:13Dad did this.
17:14The dollhouse.
17:16The crying.
17:17The Today Show.
17:18Grandma-
17:21Quieter.
17:22Sorry.
17:23It's okay.
17:25How did this happen?
17:28It was an accident.
17:30An accident.
17:31Your dad and I are working through some issues.
17:34I am working through some issues.
17:36I just-
17:36It's why I reached out.
17:38Lulu.
17:40These comments online just broke my heart.
17:43You don't deserve-
17:44It's-
17:44It's-
17:45I'm-
17:45No, God.
17:46I fucked up.
17:49Why are you crying?
17:50I don't know.
17:51I don't know.
17:52Because I'm so fucking mad at you.
17:55I hated you.
17:57You lied.
17:58That Jackie Baldwin bitch lied.
17:59Okay.
18:00I'm sorry.
18:00I don't know how to whisper cry.
18:01And I can't even fucking yell.
18:02No, it's okay.
18:03You should yell.
18:04You should be mad.
18:05Don't tell me that I should be mad when I should be mad.
18:08And now I can't be mad.
18:11Because you're just-
18:13You're so small.
18:15And I feel so bad.
18:18Come here.
18:24Closer.
18:26Closer.
18:27Closer.
18:27Closer.
18:29Closer.
18:30Closer.
18:33Closer.
18:38Closer.
18:40Closer.
18:41Closer.
18:43Closer.
18:45Closer.
18:46Closer.
18:46Closer.
18:47Closer.
18:49Closer.
18:49Closer.
18:50Closer.
18:51Closer.
18:51Closer.
18:52Closer.
18:54Closer.
18:55a great mom i i want to be i i need to try harder i i can start right now
19:00where to start okay um
19:02i wrote a book whoa we're going back 20 years how long is the story short and with a point
19:08we'll
19:08see i wrote a book i got rewarded i felt like a fraud that's my first book but then i
19:14had this
19:14prize and that basically became my identity so bullshit on bullshit bullshit on bullshit
19:20and uh well then then you came along and i could focus on you not me so bullshit me she
19:29kind of
19:30got left behind which i loved and then you grew up and we grew apart and bullshit me kind of
19:38showed
19:38back up i think i resented you resenting me but that is not being a good parent that is being
19:46a
19:46petulant child yeah you were hurting i didn't know why but i should have asked i should have listened
19:58okay well a few edits maybe but your story did have a point so i'm listening now and i have
20:06really good hearing it's a benefit of being this tiny
20:10i hate science you do dad's gonna lose his fucking brain oh i mean i flunked out of school
20:16so go ahead freak out you did yeah by design i mean okay how it was harder than i expected
20:26i misappropriated my student's story and didn't correct it i dropped a tiktok outing my mom as a
20:31plagiarist i burned down your dollhouse what yeah felt great i deleted darling daughter
20:40wait that was you yeah i was 11 you should really change your password
20:46wait
20:49oh my god
20:52you read that yeah it's okay i know you didn't want me i get it
20:58lulu i was channeling grandma diane my mom thinking about me
21:05really of course oh my god i've never regretted having you
21:10but the resentment no that was later and different scott no
21:15makes sense
21:17does it yeah actually i read your book i can definitely see the grandma diane connection
21:23god breaks my heart that you thought i didn't
21:27that you grew up thinking that i didn't want you
21:30oh my god i'm so sorry oh sweet girl i'm so sorry i suck
21:36oh i suck i fucking suck
21:39i suck too
21:40that's also my fault and dad's
21:43we all suck
21:44which sucks
21:51you read my book
21:53you want me to tell you it's good
21:56oh it's okay
21:58i'll take it
21:59so do you have to tell dad i flunked out
22:02like a ufp or united family whatever it is
22:06upf united parental front no fuck it
22:18i have to go in front of the review board tomorrow like make a case or whatever tell them why
22:22they
22:23shouldn't kick me out of school
22:24what are you gonna say
22:26we could we could practice it
22:28no
22:29don't get all mom about it
22:31okay
22:35hey
22:36what's going on
22:38dad
22:44i can explain
22:45les don't worry
22:46i already explained
22:49what did she tell you
22:50a lot
22:51she's a liar
22:52you're the liar dad
22:54uh what
22:55the dollhouse
22:56grandma
22:57mom left us
22:58you let me think she was having an emotional breakdown
23:01what the fuck
23:02no no no
23:02you've never lied to me before
23:05what did you tell her
23:06whatever i want
23:08i'm her mother
23:08she needed me
23:09since when
23:09you had no right to talk to her
23:11no no no no
23:13we discussed this
23:13upf
23:14upf
23:15we said that telling you would traumatize you
23:17and we were gonna tell you together
23:18that's the u
23:18in upf
23:19someone had to be the p
23:21well here's the f
23:22fuck you
23:22fuck you
23:23fuck you
23:24fuck you
23:25fuck you
23:25fuck you
23:26why
23:30shit
23:32we are horrible
23:35the worst
23:35makes me sick
23:37to make her sick
23:38yeah me too
23:39we need to get our shit together
23:42jesus
23:42look at us
23:44look at me
23:45i know
23:46i know
23:47okay
23:48okay
23:53i'm so sorry lulu
23:55this is us
23:56not you
23:57never you
23:57never you
23:58i think i'm empty
24:05this is so fucked
24:07our family is fucked
24:11you're standing on the sink
24:12yeah
24:13but uh
24:14this is our new reality
24:16we're fucked up family
24:17like everybody else
24:19you know
24:19sort of
24:19until we're not
24:20i can fix this
24:21can you dad
24:24yes
24:24do you believe me
24:29i believe you
24:30you know
24:31and you're
24:31you're brilliant
24:32frustratingly so
24:33i've always
24:34believed in you
24:35always
24:38okay so like
24:38what do we do now
24:39we live
24:41uh dad and i
24:42are gonna
24:42work things out
24:43you're gonna go back
24:45to school tonight
24:46and um
24:47then we'll all go
24:48skiing over
24:48president's day weekend
24:49or something
24:49i don't know
24:50but we're gonna be okay
24:51we're going to be okay
24:53right
24:53yes
24:55absolutely
24:56yes
25:00is it bad that i
25:01kind of want to see
25:01mom on tiny skis
25:07hey
25:08you know i love you
25:09kiddo
25:11yeah i know
25:20she didn't tell me
25:21that she loved me back
25:22i think she did
25:23she did not
25:24you know she did not
25:25okay this is a lot
25:26for her to process
25:27i've lost her love
25:30now you're being
25:30dramatic
25:31dramatic
25:33she fucking adored me
25:34and now she can barely
25:35look at me
25:36yeah it stings
25:37but
25:37no no it's fine
25:38it's okay
25:39i understand i know
25:40i know that you love this
25:40you love it
25:41love what
25:42you want me
25:43to be hurricane less
25:44don't you
25:45well
25:47bravo
25:47this is your fucking guilt
25:49talking
25:49that's what this is
25:50you just you took
25:51my daughter
25:52away from me
25:53your daughter
25:54that was your plan
25:55this was my plan
25:56i was her hero
25:57and now she thinks
25:58i'm a fucking liar
25:59i told her
26:00it was an accident
26:01you want me to play her
26:02the voice note
26:02huh
26:02oh i'm sure you painted
26:04a very pretty picture of your
26:05did you tell her about richard
26:07did you tell her about richard
26:08his blood is on your hands
26:09slutty
26:10really
26:10really
26:11my tiny
26:11innocent
26:12shrunken on purpose hands
26:14maybe you deserve
26:15to be
26:16her mad scientist
26:17shithead dad
26:18who shrunk her mom
26:19every dad disappoints eventually
26:20it's finally your fucking turn
26:32what the fuck are you doing
26:37it would be so easy
26:39just to let go
26:40i've seen your balls last
26:41they aren't big enough
26:43oh it's been a while
26:48maybe you've forgotten
26:49how big they are
26:50put me down
26:52okay
26:58you motherfucker
27:00you're dead
27:01sure why not
27:09what the fuck
27:09what the fuck
27:28what the fuck
27:48what the fuck
27:48what the fuck
27:48is that
27:48that
27:48you're
27:48whatever
27:49oh
27:49that
27:49that
27:49is
27:49or
27:49oh
27:50you're
27:50it's
27:51a
27:51You were a good and loyal friend.
27:54I'm going to miss you, Dolores.
27:57I'm sorry you've ended this way.
28:00I'm sorry too, Dolores.
28:05Your eyes do not deceive you. I am not a ghost.
28:08I am very much alive.
28:10Richard!
28:12I'm so relieved.
28:13You are no more a murderer than I am an adulterer.
28:17I was hoodwinked into an uncompromising position,
28:19but I want to put your mind at ease.
28:22Nothing happened below the belt.
28:24Well, the belt was off, Richard.
28:26All part of the charade.
28:30I never meant to hurt you.
28:31Yes, you did.
28:32However, I know you never meant to vanquish me.
28:35But you did not.
28:37Call it even?
28:39Even Steven.
28:44I have a science thought, if I may be so bold.
28:46Please.
28:47So, given my recent first-hand experiences,
28:50I've been thinking about the quantum harmonic oscillator.
28:52What if its potential energy is akin to the mass on a spring?
28:55As in, uh, V of X equals one-half KX squared,
28:58where K is the spring constant,
28:59and X is the displacement.
29:01I mean, that's a-
29:02That's a parabolic curve.
29:05I mean, that could work.
29:09I've missed this.
29:10Me too.
29:10I will say, Janet's been good.
29:12Very good.
29:12Um, but I haven't-
29:13I missed, uh, I missed the-
29:15You don't need to say it.
29:16I know.
29:17Richard, I-
29:17You missed you.
29:19I do owe you an apology.
29:22I was a fool for love.
29:25I keep wondering,
29:28was I driven by love,
29:29or the tragedy of love?
29:31You know, I can't believe you miniaturized yourself for her.
29:34Oh, you would have done the same if you weren't needed to solve the formula.
29:38Oh, no, Richard, never crossed my mind.
29:41No, we've reached a new low.
29:43May I ask why?
29:46Because I know her.
29:48I really fucking know her.
29:52Not worth it.
29:54Then you know she's coming for you.
29:56Oh, I do.
29:58But I can't fucking wait.
30:05Oh!
30:06Oh, god damn!
30:08Oh, Uncle Sam can get me on that, huh?
30:10My Pentagon pals are going to love this tiny shit.
30:12I guess I'm cute!
30:13Yes, let's see what's even cuter.
30:14Shipped across the world for the price of a first-class stamp,
30:17and then restored to regular size on the battlefield.
30:19From bang to boom!
30:21And with your connections,
30:23bang to boom to big fucking bucks.
30:29Jesus!
30:32Close one, close one.
30:33Channel, this changes.
30:53I'm coming for you.
30:56You crossed the line.
30:59You made me tiny and tried to flush me down the toilet.
31:04You wanted to drown me.
31:07It's my turn now.
31:10Death?
31:10It's too easy.
31:11But I can't make you suffer.
31:14Your swimming pool?
31:15Moat?
31:16Cannot stop me.
31:17I may be small forever,
31:19but I've never been
31:21more powerful.
31:31I must destroy your greatest prize.
31:34I must break you,
31:36Drago, Rocky IV.
31:48Let's reset.
32:14Well, well, well.
32:16Am I to assume you're blocking my path to protect less?
32:20You're protecting science.
32:20You're protecting the man who tried to kill you.
32:22Drawn to wrath by you.
32:24It was a kiss.
32:25A naked kiss.
32:26Fine.
32:27A naked kiss.
32:30Now move.
32:32Richie, please don't make me hurt you.
32:36Hurt me?
32:37You destroyed me.
32:41Richie, I am sorry.
32:43Truly.
32:46Sincerely sorry.
32:48You're a good man.
32:50I really like a man.
32:52Now, please.
32:54Move.
32:54Move.
32:55I implore you to think about what you're doing.
32:59Let's move the demonstration to this morning.
33:01This is his last chance to fix the formula and so we just, we both need him to succeed.
33:06So regardless of what's happened, just think about your future.
33:09Mine.
33:13Your generosity of spirit will be instrumental in our restoration and a scientific discovery
33:18for the ages.
33:20One worthy of the recognition of the highest order, the Nobel.
33:51The curve.
33:52The flow of the curve.
33:54The curve.
33:54The curve to infinity.
33:59Way to reset.
34:01Way to rest.
34:03Way to rest.
34:03That's so close.
34:04What's the map?
34:05What is that you don't see?
34:07Yeah.
35:09Yes, wake up.
35:22Where the fuck are you?
35:24You evil tiny bitch.
35:26Look, look.
35:28You made a fucking canoe.
35:30I'm bigger than you.
35:32I will crush you.
35:33I will win.
35:39Oh, come on.
35:46Help, Len!
35:48Lindy?
35:50Lindy?
35:51If you're hurt, answer me.
35:53We can call a timeout.
35:56I don't know what to do.
35:57I don't know what to do.
36:00I'm coming, Lindy.
36:01I'm coming.
36:02That I'm trusting.
36:04Oh, this is a timeout, Lindy.
36:06We're here now.
36:10Ow.
36:11Ow.
36:12Oh.
36:13Oh.
36:15My pathetic hero.
36:16I called a timeout.
36:18I didn't agree.
36:19You're a poor sport and a monster.
36:21You deserved it.
36:22You're a sore loser.
36:23You prayed upon the last shred of my compassion.
36:26Good.
36:26Now we're even.
36:27Time in.
36:28So there was a timeout.
36:29In your mind, I'm dumbing down the play along.
36:32Oh, yeah.
36:32You didn't mean to dumb down.
36:33You've been dining out of dumb luck for the last 20 fucking years.
36:35Dumb luck.
36:36That's what jealous, resentful people called talent.
36:39Talent is the battle crime on housewives of a little mid-day shark.
36:43I teach.
36:44Yeah.
36:44Those who can't do.
36:46What's the saying?
36:47You want to say a woman's future look at a mother?
36:48Well, you are your mother.
36:49That's not even the saying, idiot.
36:51I'm no idiot.
36:52I'm a literal genius.
36:53Who's out of ideas?
36:54A science has been who will be so close for the rest of his life.
36:58At least I started something and finished it and won.
37:01That Nobel you want to fuck so bad, I will kill us both before letting you win it.
37:06Start and finish.
37:08I win again.
37:09Oh, you know there's just one thing I'd love to finish?
37:11You.
37:12Ow!
37:13I'm a idiot.
37:19All right, already!
37:27What?
37:29What happened to you?
37:30Your eye.
37:31Ew.
37:32Nothing.
37:32Why are you here?
37:33You're late.
37:34What time's it?
37:35Presentation time.
37:36You're not answering your phone.
37:37Hey, down here!
37:39What's happening?
37:40He made me die!
37:40He's down here!
37:41Hey!
37:41Just a minute.
37:43Fuck me.
37:46Five minutes.
37:47I'll be right behind you.
38:05Hi, Lulu!
38:06Hi, tiny mom.
38:08Oh, funny.
38:09I'm back at school.
38:11How did it go with the review board?
38:13It hasn't happened yet.
38:13But, um, I'm thinking about bailing.
38:17Oh, yeah.
38:18I get that instinct.
38:20What would you do?
38:22Uh, okay.
38:23Let me think.
38:25Um, well.
38:26I know you're excited I called.
38:27Don't make it a thing.
38:28I will hang up.
38:29Got it.
38:30I would want to bail, too.
38:32But, older, tiny me might come to regret that.
38:38Like, regret what?
38:40It's self-destructive.
38:41And they control the narrative.
38:47Lulu?
38:50That's pretty good parenting.
38:52What the fuck?
38:54I might know a thing or two about a thing or two.
38:56There she is.
38:57I can only be me.
38:59Hey, so, you know, um, I was thinking.
39:01You get to hold this my-husband-trunk-me shit over dad for, like, forever.
39:06Like, you could be tiny for forever.
39:09Which, that's kind of cool, but...
39:12Is it cool forever?
39:13You know, I'm just saying, you know, forever leverage.
39:16Yeah, I'm not thrilled with the idea of forever.
39:18Uh, but I currently don't have a choice, so I am making peace with it.
39:22Are you stamping your tiny foot right now?
39:24If a tiny person stamps their foot, does it make a sound?
39:26Once again, funny.
39:28Just thoughts.
39:29Okay.
39:31I think I know what I'm gonna do, but I want it to be a cliffhanger.
39:35Bye, tiny mom.
39:53So you're gonna hate me, but then you're gonna love me.
39:55I need a third option.
39:56Sid called.
39:57Oh.
39:58Ultimatum.
39:59Lindy's second book.
40:00Or your imprint is dead.
40:01Like her patients.
40:02Lindy doesn't have a second book.
40:03Or does she?
40:04No, she does not.
40:05Hell yes, she does.
40:07Ultimatum.
40:08Jackie finished her novel, Untitled On Purpose.
40:10That was quick.
40:11Well, she's prolific, and driven, and willing.
40:13But I have a strict moral code.
40:14Huh.
40:15So let's wheel and deal.
40:16You get the book, slap Lindy's name on it, save your imprint, or...
40:20My dad.
40:22He doesn't know anything about this yet.
40:24Yeah, so I did a little research, and it's true.
40:26Jackie finished her novel, and, uh, your cowboy has a daughter, and it's hell.
40:30This is the hate part, but, like, let's just focus on the love part.
40:34Which is what, exactly?
40:36Whatever you choose.
40:38It's an ethics test.
40:39Your imprint, or my dad.
40:41Lies, or love.
40:51Me.
40:53I choose me.
40:54Which means I choose him, whatever his name may be.
40:56Love the me choice.
40:57Hate the rhyme.
40:59Is this gonna be a problem?
41:01First thing you've said that I respected.
41:03Philip.
41:04Dad's name's Philip.
41:05Goes by Flip.
41:06Flip.
41:08Flip.
41:08Get flipped.
41:09For Flip.
41:10Oh, God.
41:11That's a good thing, right?
41:12Very.
41:14How does one solve the problem of feeding the world?
41:18Only less little John knows.
41:20Now, what if we could take, say, an ear of corn, and shrink it to a fraction of the original
41:24size?
41:24Where is this jackass?
41:26I can assure you, he'll be here.
41:28A hundred, a thousand ears of corn.
41:38I know I'm late.
41:39I know I just, I just need a minute.
41:43I fell down.
41:44Oh, really?
41:45Mount Kilimanjaro?
41:46Yes, practically, yes.
41:48Hilton is going to sell the tank to the military.
41:51Bang the boom, I said.
41:53But after we solve the hunger?
41:54No, I was dead of tiny soldiers.
41:57Tiny missiles.
41:58Big surprise.
41:59But I am so close.
42:00For real, for real.
42:01I know.
42:02I believe you.
42:03Now, Hilton owns the tank.
42:04He's going to do with it whatever he wants anyway, but we can't be parties to that.
42:08So, walk.
42:09No, run.
42:10You run away.
42:14I don't think I can.
42:15Give them what they want.
42:16You out, the tech and government hands, but not the restoration.
42:20Okay?
42:20What about my new bell?
42:21What if I'm out of ideas?
42:23Um, it's time.
42:27Unless you have the fate of the planet in your hands.
42:32Me?
42:33Don't fuck it up.
42:39I see you looking at me, judging me like smug dicks, but you will never judge me as harsh
42:48as I judge myself.
42:50I've realized that I've been trying to live up to others' expectations of me.
42:54I don't know what I want for myself.
42:57And I thought that was a problem, but it's not.
43:02It's just the process.
43:03And I can figure that out here, or somewhere else.
43:12Honestly, I'm okay either way.
43:25Any chance you might be swinging by the airport tonight?
43:42He looks fucking nuts.
43:44Yes, quite.
43:46Science is not magic.
43:48No.
43:50There is no ta-da!
43:51There is not.
43:53It is work.
43:54Hard work.
43:55Definitely.
43:57It's frustration.
43:59It's passion.
44:01It's misery and joy.
44:02And it's fear.
44:03You can spend years lost, wandering among the trees.
44:06Wishing, hoping, maybe even praying.
44:08Which goes against all established scientific understanding that maybe one day you will finally
44:13see the forest.
44:14Well, today's that day.
44:20Let's finish what we started.
44:28Here are my final thoughts.
44:32H hat equals h bar omega times a dagger a plus one half plus...
44:39Must be hat squared over 2m plus 2 over m omega squared...
44:45Ah, X squared, which...
44:51Which...
44:54Which...
44:57Which...
45:06It's upside down.
45:11It's inverted.
45:13It's inverted.
45:14Janet, invert.
45:16M omega squared, X squared, over 2.
45:20Bob's invert.
45:22Invert!
45:25Inverted.
45:26M omega squared, X squared, over 2.
45:31Carl, implement.
45:56Let's make a stream.
45:56Let's make a stream.
46:26Let's do this shit.
46:28Translation.
46:29Ta-da!
46:37Okay.
46:38I fucking hate tape measures.
46:42Okay.
46:44It is time you knew the truth about Dr. Les Littlejohn.
47:03I did it.
47:05I did it.
47:07I did it.
47:08I did it!
47:10Yes!
47:11With a stream!
47:12Limitless stabilization!
47:14Yes!
47:15Translation.
47:15Hilton, the corn...
47:17Let me.
47:18Let me.
47:26Delicious.
47:27Sweet and crisp.
47:40You okay?
47:41Ow!
47:44You okay?
47:44Use him!
47:45Les!
47:45Les!
47:46You okay?
47:47Use him, Swiss!
47:47Use him, Swiss!
47:48Ta-da!
47:49Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
47:51I got you!
47:53Finally!
47:53I got you!
47:54Fuck yeah, you did.
47:55Awesome, Les.
47:58Fuckin' hammer's got nothing on you, huh?
48:07Let's talk numbers.
48:08Fuck!
48:09Let's talk numbers.
48:10Yeah.
48:19Oh, no, you didn't.
48:23Okay.
48:24I fucking hate tape measures.
48:26It is time you knew the truth about Dr. Les' little dog.
48:30All right, Nils.
48:31You want to know more about Les' secret project?
48:34Here I am.
48:35Okay?
48:37Les.
48:39Is it the corn?
48:40Are you sick?
48:41No, it's not the corn.
48:41Somebody emailed something.
48:42Something not good to a journalist.
48:44And something's going to destroy me.
48:46Just what?
48:46Nils.
48:47Was that the journalist?
48:48Yes.
48:48How did you know?
48:49You mentioned him before.
48:50Yes.
48:50Well, imagine what he could do if you had something on me.
48:52Something big.
48:52Small.
48:53But very big.
48:53What do I do?
48:54You've said.
48:57Relax.
48:59Today is your day.
49:02No.
49:03It's our day.
49:05We did it.
49:06Partners.
49:09Don't worry about Nils.
49:10Vivian's taken care of it.
49:12Nils has retired permanently.
49:15Nils is not a problem.
49:18He's not.
49:19Who sent you the email?
49:20Tell Vivian.
49:21Who is your problem?
49:23Are you going third person?
49:24I find it effective in situations such as this.
49:26Now.
49:27Tell Vivian.
49:31Fine.
49:32Doesn't matter who.
49:35Sometimes.
49:36When someone threatens the most important thing in the world to you.
49:39You have no choice.
49:41But to eliminate them.
49:43Because the someone who would do something like that.
49:46Is never going to stop.
49:49You are going to have to stop them.
49:53Does that scare you?
49:54No.
49:55Yes.
49:56No.
49:56A little.
49:57I'm not suggesting you physically murder someone.
49:59Did you think that?
50:00No.
50:00Yes.
50:01No.
50:02A little.
50:02No.
50:03I'm only suggesting.
50:03Get creative.
50:05Why yes.
50:07Get creative.
50:08And then.
50:09Leave the rest to fate.
50:12Fate.
50:13Makes its own choices.
50:16Fate.
50:18Yes.
50:19That is creative.
50:21Come on Nils.
50:23Woo.
50:29Write me back.
50:30Write me back Nils.
50:31Jesus.
50:33Come on Nils.
50:37Lenny.
50:39Lenny I have a surprise for you.
50:42I'm unarmed.
50:43There's no tricks up these sleeves.
50:45I come bringing tidings of great joy.
50:48I solved the restoration formula.
50:50I can make you big again.
50:52If that's something you're interested in.
51:00You're going to celebrate?
51:03I've decided.
51:04We're keeping him.
51:05Yeah.
51:06He won't play ball.
51:07You don't know that.
51:08I do actually.
51:10That's kind of my thing.
51:11Just fire him.
51:12I can get him to play.
51:13Les's brain is a valuable asset to us.
51:16More valuable than mine?
51:17Or yours?
51:18You're making me choose.
51:19You're making me choose.
51:20Well.
51:21Then we should both choose wisely.
51:28What?
51:29I'm not even blocking.
51:30Just go around.
51:37You better not be fucking with me.
51:38Oh no.
51:39It's true.
51:40I did it.
51:41I remain a literal genius.
51:42Look.
51:43I miniaturized and restored Mr. Magoo.
51:46How's that proof I never saw him tiny?
51:48I hate that cat.
51:49That's funny.
51:50He told me he hates you too.
51:52What's that, Magoo?
51:53Huh?
51:55You're hungry?
51:57Poor thing.
51:58He's been through a lot.
52:00What am I saying?
52:01You know.
52:01Sort of.
52:02Well.
52:03Gotta feed him.
52:04He ain't humane not to, right?
52:06You know.
52:07Dr. Carmichael said that I can't force change on you.
52:10So.
52:11I'm having second thoughts about making you big.
52:13I think I've learned that I have to accept you for who you are.
52:16The way you are.
52:18And that you're never gonna stop.
52:21I gotta eat myself.
52:22Worked up quite the appetite.
52:23I think I deserve a good meal.
52:25And so I bid you farewell.
52:27And I wish you the best of luck.
52:32I'll leave it up to fate.
52:45Good kitty.
52:47Easy Magoo.
52:48Easy.
52:49Easy.
52:54The good kitty.
52:54The good kitty.
52:58Magoo.
52:58No.
52:59Dad.
53:00Stop.
53:01Oh, shit.
53:04So be honest.
53:05When I took a bite of the sweet corn.
53:06Did you think I was going to explode?
53:07Did you?
53:08You didn't?
53:08Did I?
53:08I don't know.
53:09I mean, I mean, not really.
53:10But, you know, I was thinking.
53:11Um.
53:11Trust the math.
53:12Trust the math.
53:13That's what I...
53:13Oh, did you see Hilton?
53:14Did you see his face?
53:15Was he scared?
53:15I didn't see...
53:15Let's not focus on Hilton.
53:16Yeah, fuck that guy.
53:17Let's focus on me instead.
53:18Let's focus on us.
53:20Yeah, I'm the fucking golden boy.
53:21Cheers to me.
53:22Cheers to us.
53:23And everything we want to accomplish.
53:25Together.
53:27You know, I can't believe it.
53:28I mean, I can't believe it,
53:28but I can't believe it
53:29because, you know,
53:29I did make fucking history.
53:30If only Lindy could see me now, right?
53:33Lindy?
53:33Yeah, you know, I saw her
53:34in my science thoughts at the podium.
53:37That cocktail napkin,
53:38when she turned it right side up,
53:39bang, that was it.
53:40I got it.
53:41Invert.
53:41Lindy helped you with science.
53:45Yeah, I guess.
53:46You know, cheers to me again.
53:49You're not really eating.
53:50I feel ill.
53:51Yeah, so do I a little bit.
53:52In my stomach.
53:53I think it's excitement.
53:54Les, we shared.
53:57We got personal.
53:59We have secrets.
54:02I thought we were partners.
54:03A scientist standing in front
54:05of another scientist.
54:06Yeah, of course.
54:07You helped.
54:08Helped.
54:09Yeah.
54:10Like Lindy helped.
54:11You both helped.
54:12But I plan on thanking you
54:15in my acceptance speech
54:16on when I win the Nobel
54:17and not Lindy.
54:18And then everyone will know
54:19that you contributed
54:20and not Lindy.
54:21That's very important to me.
54:23Not Lindy
54:23is more important to you
54:26than us.
54:28Not really following.
54:29Exactly.
54:35I think you should
54:36collect your things.
54:37From what?
54:38From here?
54:39From the office.
54:39Oh yes.
54:40Good idea.
54:40We need more space.
54:41We do.
54:42In a way.
54:43Excuse me a moment.
54:46Can I, uh,
54:46where are you at being else?
54:48I'm done.
54:59Is that...
55:00Is she leaving?
55:12What the fuck?
55:15What's my thought?
55:17Hey!
55:18I know you can see me! Open the fucking door!
55:22My ID's not working!
55:26Where's Mr. Magoo?
55:28Did you let me in?
55:30Where is Mr. Magoo?
55:33Is this about a cat?
55:35I want my tiny cat back.
55:38I restored him! I took him home! It's fucking Lindy's cat!
55:41I hate that cat!
55:42I don't know who you are.
55:46Are you gonna let me in?
55:49Oh, fuck this!
55:56Think you're gonna lock me out, motherfuckers?
55:59It's my fucking mouth! Mine!
56:07What?
56:13What was the plan here?
56:16My ID didn't work.
56:18And you were gonna drive through the lobby?
56:22Yeah.
56:25You didn't listen.
56:26I tried.
56:28I was passionate about it. I cursed.
56:31I warned you about these people.
56:33You did.
56:34You dummy.
56:35You dummy.
56:36Now it's over.
56:38Hilton has everything.
56:41We have nothing.
56:44Well, I...
56:45I couldn't help it.
56:47It's my life's work.
56:48I had to do it.
56:50Les.
56:51The Nobel was never on the table.
56:54They were always going to steal your tack.
56:57Martin.
56:58Without the Nobel.
57:00I'm not worthy.
57:03Worthy of what?
57:09Her.
57:11Lindy.
57:14I needed Lindy to be proud of me.
57:19Lindy's the only person who's ever really got me.
57:22Seen me.
57:25Lindy.
57:27Can't get her out of my head.
57:29She's everywhere.
57:34Oh God.
57:36Oh fuck.
57:37Oh fuck.
57:38What?
57:39I can't keep up.
57:40Can you get back in there?
57:41What did I just say?
57:42I have to get the formula.
57:43Oh fuck.
57:44I can't go home without it.
57:45I need a ride.
57:45No, you're gonna have to take an Uber because I got Dana.
57:47No, you're gonna fucking drive me home.
57:49Fucking now.
57:49This is life or death mark.
57:50For real this time.
57:51For really, really, real.
57:52Magoo could eat her.
57:53The cat.
57:54I'll explain to you and Dana later.
57:56You're gonna drive me.
57:57Come on.
57:57Why?
57:57What are you?
58:07Wow.
58:14Richie.
58:18Come on.
58:19Okay.
58:20Okay.
58:21The fat lady has a son, man.
58:22Okay.
58:23You're alive.
58:24You're alive.
58:24Wrong one.
58:25But I just, I'm trying to reconcile less than a husband and less than a scientist.
58:28What drives a man?
58:29There's just generosity and compassion towards science and yet the selfish helplessness towards
58:32his wife.
58:33I just...
58:33Help me.
58:34Why?
58:35I'm asking you again.
58:36Why less?
58:37Richie.
58:38No, no, no.
58:38This is not the time for this.
58:40Why marry a man?
58:43Richie!
58:44Over here!