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00:08I was saving it for you oh you know we really should have taken a holiday like this a long
00:13time
00:13ago yeah well this is the best you've ever looked I gave you a little BBL I like my mermaids
00:19with
00:19some whale tail what the hell is going on here I said to bag the sand not playing it like
00:25children
00:26these are just the leftovers okay we ran out of sandbags after filling up every single one by
00:31the way which felt like overkill it's not overkill okay there's a biblical storm coming a once in a
00:36lifetime storm supposedly like a great man once said one day a rain may come and wash all the scum
00:42from these streets did you just call Travis Bickle from taxi driver a great man Travis was a Vietnam
00:47veteran and he knew the value of firearms and physical fitness
00:53storm's coming get back to work Papadakis I prefer Murmadakis I'm not about to call you Murm
00:59stop looking at me
01:22hey the NATO base in Mons has flooded because of the storm and I told General Martin that she and
01:28her
01:28troops can come here and we will put them up oh your old hottie slumber party oh it's not a
01:33real
01:33slumber party and I don't care if their hotties are busted thank you Conway got it what's happening
01:38the colonel and I have been doing a generational cultural exchange I taught him busted and he taught
01:42me about something called Creedence Clearwater Revival very good Conway yeah the troops are on their way
01:48I want you guys to be aware of the fact you're gonna have to share quarters okay and Sergeant Conway
01:51is
01:52in charge of the accommodation so she will assign everybody does General Martin have any special
01:55requests uh I think General Martin is all set okay sorry well I don't know what's going on here
02:02sounds like your Canadian girlfriend's trying to move in with you no yeah that's not what I said
02:07that's how it starts come over I got central AC next thing you know you signed in the name to
02:11the
02:11lease yeah I don't know what you're talking about trust me sooner or later General Martin's gonna be
02:16wearing her night guard to bed and let no panties dry in the shower that's not okay not gonna be
02:21happening okay I just hope that you're ready to give up your side of the bed my side of the
02:26bed
02:26is the whole bed okay there's no two sides it's my side got it and all that interesting fact
02:31interesting I'm your superior officer you're not allowed to mock me
02:47hi hi hi um
02:53you know things have been so busy since yesterday when we uh kissed kissed yeah that kiss was amazing
03:00it was something out of a movie yeah okay yeah say the best kiss of my life yeah me too
03:04but we also
03:05thought like maybe you were gonna die yeah I might die but so I guess there's only one way to
03:09find
03:09out yeah
03:19um that wasn't quite as good yes I remembered it yeah it's me it's me okay you know how like
03:27some
03:27people find sneaking around really like sexy yeah yeah well you know what I found really sexy what
03:30following the rules okay and I think that's what's happening here I understand um yeah but
03:36we want to do this we want to do this okay we got to do this yeah just um work
03:40our way up to it
03:43come on in everything is normal in here the door is not closed for any reason at all
03:56okay I'm not gonna say it's a good thing that there's a flood because thoughts and prayers to
04:00the tulip farmers obviously but it's not a bad thing that I'm gonna get more face time with general
04:04martin no I hope she's not thinking that this is gonna be some kind of a step for the relationship
04:10you know like step forward because I'm not really I don't want to take a step in any
04:13direction yeah you got to accept that it's a step really yeah because our relationship is like
04:17so sexy and fun those are the two things we're built on and scotch and and innuendo four things
04:23those are like that's our foundation is this like drinking and messing around you know what I mean
04:28like I don't think even with an act of God that that would change have you ever considered that
04:33maybe God wants to two to be together okay you know I have Catholic stuff that's creepy for you to
04:40use that against me just bring them into my temporary office we made it now get me out of
04:46these damn clothes and pour me a scotch hurry see sexy and fun okay you know sometimes you just
04:55forget that you're my dad who's Catholic now
05:04captain since I'm still aidless I was hoping you could step into the role while I'm on base
05:07yeah yes ma'am man I am not hating this flood but thoughts and prayers to the tulip farmers I
05:16hate
05:16tulips captain I just saw a soldier in pajamas I told them pajama night was can can can never happen
05:22what's next charades and s'mores it's next time everyone some welcoming snacks for a lovely guest
05:29we got chocolate marshalos and graham crackers but I wasn't sure do you put ranch dressing on this
05:33or not I can never really get when you guys like ranch dressing on food and when you don't
05:42so I guess we proved you can put maple syrup on anything pretty much right having a Canadian
05:48roommate isn't so bad is it oh sorry I thought we were calling it we can call it okay yeah
05:56let's
05:56call it okay if I don't use this thing I gnaw through my own jaw yeah yeah got it not
06:01a problem
06:02I mean you gotta do what you
06:18it's Saturday what do you want to do today
06:20uh Saturdays I um I have to sharpen my hunting knives and it takes a long time I've got to
06:26be
06:26really super focused so I have to be kind of by myself but what are you gonna do I was
06:30gonna watch
06:30some human cockfighting your case you what human cockfighting where
06:40oh wow this is a fun Saturday what do you think we were gonna do together go to Ikea
06:48oh man do we have any like softer one of these weapons I just I was I was led to
06:54believe that
06:55this wouldn't hurt in any way and like I guess we're just missing nap time how did that rather
07:01Zoftig fellow get into the army oh well corporal Papadakis has many extraordinary talents
07:08and hand-on-hand combat is not one of them
07:13but at least he's getting his nap time
07:1750 euro if you don't hit me yeah
07:19yeah fine 100 euro
07:21it's so great having real soldiers on the base you know what I mean it's just I haven't seen one
07:25pair of open toe shoes but our guys are getting pummeled okay we got ourselves a negotiator
07:31fake Louis Vuitton luggage set
07:32you have interesting friends
07:35well they have unconventional skills
07:39what about you
07:40are you interesting
07:43oh I'm uninteresting
07:44good
07:45yeah
07:46I guess after the debacle with my last aid smoking something called Afghani train wreck I need somebody totally by
07:51the book
07:51you got it
07:53oh wow
07:54by the book
07:57oh
07:58oh
07:58mine
07:59we don't believe a time luggage set but that's my final offer
08:04so was it good for you
08:05listen all joking aside
08:07was it true what you said about that private's mom
08:09oh
08:09he sure cried like it was true
08:11he did
08:13I sure got hit in the head
08:15a lot
08:16yeah
08:16but you always got right back up
08:19I sure got hit in the head
08:21a lot
08:23is he going to be
08:24okay
08:24I don't know
08:25General Martin said we can't go to the medic unless we want to be diagnosed as weak
08:29your dad with General Martin equals disaster
08:31okay
08:33look it's only for a few more days
08:35so I don't know try to make friends tonight
08:37don't have sex with them
08:38or do
08:39I don't know
08:39I'm not your mom
08:40what
08:42so uh
08:43do you guys do that
08:44stick fighting thing
08:46every day
08:47no
08:48Sunday's it's paintball
08:49General Martin designed her own guns
08:51they are very powerful
08:53looks like it
08:56oh we have got to get our hands on those paintball gloves
08:58I sure got hit in the head
09:00a lot
09:11we need to stay in the head
09:11we need to stay in the head
09:12we need to stay in the head
09:13we need to stay in the head
09:14we need to stay in the head
09:20we need to stay in the head
09:22we need to stay in the head
09:23we need to stay in the head
09:24we need to stay in the head
09:24we need to stay in the head
09:24we need to stay in the head
09:24we need to stay in the head
09:25we need to stay in the head
09:25we need to stay in the head
09:26we need to stay in the head
09:26we need to stay in the head
09:27we need to stay in the head
09:31we need to stay in the head
09:32those paintball guns before tomorrow because unless general martin made those paintball guns
09:35shoot mimosas i am not letting that demon ruin my sunday too because general martin's idea of fun
09:40is torture oh i didn't find guns but i think i might have found something else great all i found
09:53these candy jawbreakers that's not candy paintballs hey hey what's going on nothing i was just uh
10:06watching a youtube compilation with martin of uh old people falling down and then when they fall
10:11in water we drink so pretty drunk so grab some scotch wait are the old people hurt uh not the
10:16ones who fall in the water you know as long as they can swim which a lot of them can't
10:20anyways i
10:21realize something it's pretty cool man i'm liking having her around yeah turns out when you like
10:26somebody the way i like her and you take that little step it could be a good thing and i
10:30came
10:30to that conclusion on my own i didn't need therapy like that family court judge said i did right yeah
10:36i guess uh sometimes you gotta take a risk unless you're an old person on an escalator yeah you just
10:44want to take the stairs huh okay how you doing thanks for asking yeah actually you know when you
10:49you have these things swirling yeah i got them she's waiting on me oh yeah yeah no no yeah yeah
10:53you gotta get back to watching old people all right pal all right see ya no problem okay if you
10:57get
10:57bored you can come over and watch i'm not gonna do that the key to disciplining soldiers isn't the
11:04yelling it's the silence between the yelling huh because i just do the opposite i just like i rant for
11:10like you know a solid block like six seven minutes and then i throw something oh what's your favorite
11:14thing to throw like a chair you know like bobby knight style you know um it really gets their
11:19attention this is interesting though comparing notes i like this it's hard to be mean in a vacuum
11:24who the hell is that what is it what what hey where's chanel martin who is it um it's a
11:36personal
11:37friend seeking guidance over i got my girlfriend pregnant and she's in love with her best friend they're
11:43gonna race a kid together i i got it hon listen i found blueprints of the base in general martin's
11:49office i also hate paint so what's the deal maybe maybe she was gonna get a frame for me like
11:55as a
11:55gift or something these are the exact blueprints that gideon was tricked into stealing we never found
11:59out who was behind that maybe it was martin there's also plans for a remodel of the base
12:07yeah i think that was okay so what do we get what you're saying it's women tearing down women time
12:12isn't it did you guys learn nothing from that human resources video i had you watch with the
12:16animated bears because it was all about that kind of stuff so your girlfriend is not being straight
12:20with you you go on sex blog she is your girlfriend i know she is you know what look at
12:24the bright side
12:25you know two moms means less responsibility for you papadakas you know what we'll talk about it
12:29more tomorrow i was making that up i was making that up i've been listening
12:46okay wait wait we gotta talk no no we're talking no we're talking okay
12:56hey what do you think you think we should remodel with teeth back no i think it's fine
13:04yeah me too i mean the only way a remodel would make sense is if you were going to double
13:09the number
13:09of troops then you'd bash out the back wall you'd switch out the round tables for bench seating and
13:14expand the kitchen but that's just off the top of my head right how's the book
13:21that's good just getting to the uh section on pearl harbor politics aside you got to respect
13:27a surprise attack
13:31yeah you've got me in my office on a sunday you'd better be world war three i think if it
13:36was world
13:37war three sir you'd already be in your bunker is general martin taking over my base what no no no
13:42no no the u.s army is giving it away you're just giving bases away now what are you that's
13:46nuts
13:47no wonder you've never seen combat when the fighting starts i guess you just what surrender
13:50nato has made a massive weapons deal with the army and general martin wants a you know a training base
13:56in the region so since baumholder is a base of value i convinced our superiors to throw in strupdorf you
14:02know like free perfume with purchase you know your whole obsession with humiliating me is now reaching
14:08a really creepy fetishy area i'm not the one who invited your girlfriend to move in that you did on
14:16your
14:16own and now she is your boss oh see i wanted to capture that exact moment so that it'll pop
14:25up
14:25on my screensaver from time to time of course because you need something to replace the pictures
14:29of all the kids you never see anymore oh well look who's talking you know what sir i'm not gonna
14:33let
14:33you get away with this uh too late the wheels are already turning oh and if you try to block
14:38it you
14:39will be crushed oh see um your eyes were closed so let's try this again how does it feel to
14:45be the
14:45only american to lose a battle with canada oh see now that that's a keeper you know what sir i
14:53should
14:53give you a fair warning you might want to get that bunker ready i'm about to start world war three
15:00there it is yeah that that's what we were looking for yeah and i think i know why we found
15:06it
15:07you do because i took a job with general martin she called me and offered me a position as her
15:16permanent aid at nato which you know comes with a move but also comes with a promotion to major
15:25which is not in your chain of command and we can do this
15:32wow i didn't uh realize that when i uh submitted my retirement paperwork last night
15:42what yeah i i mean sometimes you gotta take a risk right i mean i mean this is crazy isn't
15:49it
15:49funny that we like gift of the magi at each other that is crazy we're so on the same page
15:59actually we're not we're not well no look i i accepted a new job like 30 minutes away
16:06uh-huh you quit your job you gave up your whole career 20 years of service for a girl you
16:14haven't
16:14even been on a date with uh you're welcome okay okay look i've failed at every relationship that
16:26i've ever been in right uh-huh and you well you literally just got a divorce probably should have
16:34talked about this first yeah we probably should have but i mean i've been thinking about it and
16:38i've been thinking about us a lot i actually see a future for us okay i see like the house
16:43the family
16:43wireless plan kids kids yeah would we talk about that or or would you surprise me with some i'm not
16:49gonna surprise you with kids that's not how that works okay i have to go i do i um i'm
16:53helping general
16:54martin prepper schedule okay as soon as i find my bra okay dude you don't need to do this okay
16:58you don't need to run away don't be like the colonel okay you don't need to avoid emotional
17:01conversations we can talk through this i am nothing like my dad don't do this don't just
17:08walk away let's talk about it what do you want to talk about huh how to fit my christmas tree
17:11up the
17:11chimney huh i'm sorry you found out this way i wasn't supposed to say anything until it was
17:15official oh really i've told you plenty of official secrets okay like the fact that we have a sound
17:19cannon that makes people projectile vomit and that was one of the most romantic dates of my whole life
17:23look you have worked so hard making this base a success enjoy the spoils nato taking over can just
17:29allow you to transfer to a better base you're right oh my god i didn't even think of it that
17:33way you're doing me a favor i should be thanking you i'm gonna send you some thank you flowers where
17:37should i have shah send them oh yeah right here because you live here now it's not personal oh it's
17:41very personal okay you trojan horse me with two of my favorite things sex and human cockfighting if
17:46you wanted to move in you should have just asked i'm not your enemy but i could be god you
17:51are
17:51already my enemy my god huh you know what i'm just gonna give you a heads up i planted an
17:57alarm in
17:57here it's gonna go off very soon loud enough to drive you crazy but faint enough that when you look
18:02for
18:02it that you won't be able to locate where it actually is oh yeah that's gonna drive me nuts
18:10merry christmas grinch really this is all you got is the rosé i mean rosé is more about like quantity
18:16that's why it comes in a box i can't believe martin thought she was doing me a favor i can't
18:24believe
18:24shaw thought he was doing me a favor crazy it is insane did it sacrifice everything for
18:29our future like they're our saviors or something it's crazy behavior
18:36you don't think there's a chance that we are self-sabotaging quinn style so that we don't get
18:43hurt no no it's not us honey it's always them it's them it's them that's the way they want us
18:49to think i'm obviously not going to take the job with general martin after everything that's
18:53i have you learned nothing from working with me career goes before family every time so you are
18:59taking that job okay number one you earned it number two you deserve it thanks dad plus it can't
19:04hurt to have a quinn on the inside find out what her next moves are going to be and then
19:08you know
19:08frame her for selling military secrets wait what you know see how you feel
19:18company our training exercise is on hold the paintball gear has been stolen don't worry i've
19:27been eating the evidence why did you just throw a little paper the guns were in my office and only
19:31stroopstorf soldiers had access maybe it's a cat burglar situation interesting theory so what i'm going to
19:36do is keep my eyes peeled for someone very sexy wearing spandex well don't look at me the only thing
19:42i'm guilty of stealing is hearts i am in charge of this base now and i order everyone to be
19:47normal
19:48normal yes ma'am we will be normal normal