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Norm Macdonald Live S03E04 Norm Macdonald with Guest Mike Tyson DD 2 monkee
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00:04Wait a minute.
00:05These are great jokes, by the way, Steve. Congrats.
00:08Oh, good.
00:08As always.
00:10But I've got to tell you, I'm a little nervous
00:12because I haven't seen hiding her hair of Adam Egan,
00:15my trusty sidekick, the man who always sits right there.
00:19He's not here.
00:21Now, last night, we're here at the MGM,
00:25so we're down on the floor trying to court Lady Luck.
00:30And Adam Egott is playing blackjack
00:34and saying highly racist things to the dealer.
00:39But just, I mean, I don't know much about blackjack,
00:41but he would hit 19 against a six,
00:45which I feel is not in the book.
00:48I don't think that's how...
00:51Oh, this is a good one.
00:54But anyways, I hope he's okay.
00:55I haven't seen him since last evening.
00:59But hopefully he'll be here soon
01:01and I won't have to be nervous anymore.
01:05What's that sound?
01:07Sounded like Adam Egott falling to his death.
01:11Huh. Oh well.
01:14I don't like the idea of doing the show myself, though.
01:23Oh! Adam!
01:25We were just talking about you.
01:27Oh my God, what a day.
01:29What is with all the towels?
01:30It looks like you're...
01:31You're not going to believe this.
01:32Yeah.
01:35Fell off the roof.
01:36Yeah.
01:37Jumped.
01:37You jumped?
01:38I'll be honest, I jumped.
01:40But luck would have it.
01:42First luck I've had in two days, by the way.
01:44A truck of pull towels caught my fall.
01:48Look at all these free towels.
01:50Oh.
01:50Can you believe it?
01:51Yeah.
01:51Feel that. It's soft.
01:53That is nice.
01:53So that's what caught your fall?
01:55Yeah.
01:56Broke your fall.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Broke my fall?
01:59Oh, you said caught your fall.
02:00I broke the bank.
02:00Well, they...
02:01You broke the bank?
02:02No, they broke the bank.
02:04Did you say you broke the bank?
02:06No.
02:06This broke my fall.
02:08I'm broke.
02:09No, you said you broke the bank.
02:11Didn't work out.
02:13It was the opposite of that.
02:14Yeah.
02:15You were at that goddamn table.
02:16Yeah.
02:17That lady...
02:18That's not what you were calling her last night.
02:20Well, look.
02:21She took all my money.
02:22I know.
02:23But where a person's born doesn't matter.
02:25Oh, no.
02:26I've been trying to teach you that for so long.
02:28And by the way, we have an African-American today on the show.
02:33We do?
02:33Yeah.
02:34So none of that talk.
02:35If you want to say the word you love saying, instead, say the N-word.
02:41And everyone will know what you mean.
02:42It'll be all right.
02:45All right.
02:46It's...
02:46Oh, by the way, it's Mike Tyson.
02:47Iron Mike Tyson.
02:49I love Iron Mike Tyson.
02:51It's going to be great.
02:52I'm beyond excited.
02:53So how much did you lose?
02:54$40.
02:54$40?
02:56Yeah.
02:56That's double your net worth.
02:58Yeah.
02:58Tell me about it.
02:59God, you should go down to Fremont Street and give guys suck jobs.
03:03One dollar a man.
03:05You'll have that money back in no time.
03:11I'll think about it.
03:13All right.
03:14Do you want to talk to the camera?
03:15That's your favorite part.
03:17Not particularly.
03:19Yes, it is.
03:19Come on.
03:20We'll be back with Iron Mike Tyson.
03:23Right?
03:24As well, dude.
03:25Okay.
03:33Today, for the full hour, Iron Mike Tyson.
03:36The fucking hour, man.
03:37The fucking hour?
03:38No, it's not an hour.
03:39The full half hour.
03:41Oh, okay.
03:43Look out.
03:44Michael Gerald Tyson, born in Brooklyn, New York, raised by his mother Lorna May.
03:49Yeah.
03:50You tell me if anything's wrong here.
03:51From 87 to 90, undisputed world heavyweight champion.
03:55Wrong. That's wrong.
03:56Well, yeah, probably from 87 to 90, but I was really undisputed in 86.
04:0186.
04:03Keep going.
04:03Keep going.
04:03You want to keep your own shit?
04:06All right.
04:09He had won a WBC title in November of 86 at the tender age of 20,
04:13becoming the youngest heavyweight champion of all time.
04:19Soon after, he claimed the WBA crown from James Bonecrusher Smith.
04:23Yeah, that was a very complicated match.
04:25It was?
04:25I won. Go ahead.
04:26Then beat Tony Tucker for the IBF championship.
04:29Brutal victories against the likes of Pinklin Thomas, Tony Tubbs, Larry Holmes,
04:33Tyrell Biggs, and Michael Spinks.
04:36Confirmed his status as the best in the world.
04:40I loved the Larry Holmes one.
04:41I'm pretty interested.
04:42You crushed him.
04:43There was a little, I don't know if you want to get into why you beat him up so bad.
04:48When I was like a little kid, probably 1980, I'm what, 14?
04:52Yeah.
04:53So Cuss and Muhammad Ali, they're very close friends, so they would call each other.
04:58So they would call each other before the fight.
05:00And so after the fight, I went with the, well, I'm going to crash.
05:04I went with Cuss to go to the fight, and he really is the number one Ali.
05:07So you've never seen Ali fight before?
05:09No, never in my life.
05:10Yeah.
05:10And I'm thinking this old man is going to do something.
05:12I'm thinking he's a miracle.
05:13The whole world got me.
05:14He's going to do it.
05:15He's going to do it four times.
05:16And he's getting pummeled.
05:18And Cuss is so mad.
05:20We get in that car at that, what is it, Volkswagen?
05:24Yeah.
05:24We get in that car.
05:25We get in there, and we go from Albany to Casca, 30 miles south from Albany.
05:29And there's not a word set.
05:32Hold.
05:33And then the next day on the...
05:34You're here.
05:35Yeah, the next morning.
05:36Hurt.
05:37Yeah.
05:38The next morning, he called Cuss, and they're talking.
05:40And now, man, Cuss, will you let that bum me out?
05:43Why are you that bum?
05:43And I Cuss, he is screaming.
05:46And then he put him on for me.
05:47I just cried out.
05:49Guys, I'm going to get him for you when I get big.
05:52You what?
05:53Yeah.
05:54Yeah.
05:55You tortured him.
05:56Now, was that the fight out, Lee?
05:58Lee was, like, sick.
06:01Remember the one that Don King put on?
06:03No, that was the one with Trevor Burbick.
06:04I got him, too.
06:05That was Burbick, yeah.
06:06And you took him out, too.
06:07Yeah, but...
06:07And was Ali at these fights?
06:09Yeah.
06:09He told me, and he came to me, and he said, kick it out for me.
06:12Yeah, baby.
06:13That's awesome.
06:14I remember seeing you, Ali, and Sugar Ray on Arsenio.
06:20It's good stuff.
06:21It's good stuff.
06:21It's good.
06:21That's the Paleolithic diet.
06:23Yeah.
06:23On the Arsenio Hall show.
06:25Do you remember?
06:25That was a great show.
06:26Yeah, a long time ago.
06:27You, Sugar Ray Leonard, and...
06:29How do you feel now, if you started out, what do you think of this MMA?
06:33Is that considered, like, just not cool for you?
06:38Because you're a master...
06:39It's not cool.
06:39It's really cool.
06:40You think it's cool?
06:41It's the art of fighting.
06:42You think it matches boxing?
06:44It has its own criteria.
06:46Uh-huh.
06:47When you look at it as an individual entertainment sport.
06:50Sure.
06:50But if you get into a fight in the street, everybody's objective, even the boxer, is to get the guy
06:56on the ground.
06:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:57Because when they, um...
06:59It seems to me that you, if you were starting right now, might go to MMA.
07:04No, I couldn't.
07:05No, I.
07:06No.
07:06I thought that, too.
07:07I was like, man, I wish I did this.
07:08This would have been different.
07:09Yeah.
07:10And then I saw Hoist Gracie step on somebody's foot.
07:13Yeah.
07:13I said, if anybody step on my foot...
07:14I got the worst foot in the foot.
07:15If anybody step on my feet, my toes will blow up.
07:18My feet are so hard, but...
07:19Oh, I have to tap out right away.
07:21Oh, shit.
07:22If you tap on my...
07:22Oh, man, you kick on my feet.
07:24You spit on my feet, I'll die.
07:25That's your Achilles heel is your foot.
07:27Whoa.
07:29Well, you've seen them, you wouldn't know why.
07:31Really?
07:31Goddamn.
07:32Look at the toes.
07:32So if I was to fight you right now, my best strategy would be to kick you in the foot.
07:37Step on my foot.
07:38Step on your fucking foot.
07:39Oh, man.
07:40You might go down.
07:41I would beg, I'd suck your dick.
07:43I'd please don't...
07:44You'd suck my dick?
07:44Yeah, don't fucking step on my motherfucking thing.
07:47Don't step on my feet, you stupid motherfucker.
07:51Oh, man.
07:51But you'd be yelling that while you were sucking my dick.
07:54Well, it'd be somewhere in the negotiation part.
07:57I got you.
07:59Only Mitch, Mitch Blood Green knew that at the time.
08:02He didn't know that.
08:02He didn't know that.
08:03Now, we saw last night the show, which is an incredibly one-man show.
08:07Yeah.
08:07I remember Mitch Green, and maybe I'm remembering it wrong.
08:10I thought it was outside, you know, at a car or something like that.
08:13Yeah, on the actual street.
08:15It wasn't on the street.
08:16It wasn't on the street, but it started inside.
08:19Okay.
08:20And then when I walked out, he came outside, and that's when I hit him, and then that's
08:25when we were fighting and stuff, and, you know, it just got ugly.
08:27And it sounded in the one-man show like you had some respect for him, though, that you
08:32liked him.
08:33Hey, Mitch wasn't a bad guy.
08:37Yeah.
08:37But when he was on that angel dust, he had something else took over.
08:40He did angel dust?
08:42Yeah, that's why he wasn't going down.
08:43Right.
08:44But he did go down because I was stomping on him a little bit.
08:47But he got on the WWE shit.
08:48Yeah, but it took a long time to get him down with a punch.
08:51Right.
08:51You got to watch this.
08:52Yeah, you're right.
08:53It's dangerous to stomp on a guy for you because he could get your foot.
08:57No.
08:58Well, listen.
08:59Then you'd have to suck his dick.
09:01He got the bottom of my foot.
09:02He didn't get the top of my foot.
09:03He got that bottom.
09:05No.
09:06Excellent.
09:06I would never suck Mitch Green's dick.
09:08Nah, fuck that shit.
09:09Damn, this guy would.
09:10This guy used to jerk off punks under the Queensborough Bridge.
09:13Fifteen dollars a man.
09:15I robbed a couple of punks under the air.
09:17Oh, you did?
09:17Yeah.
09:18You look familiar.
09:20I'm okay.
09:21It's okay.
09:21You were in the stir.
09:22You said in your show 70 times.
09:26Arrested.
09:26The hoose gal.
09:27Oh, you were arrested 70 times, but not in prison.
09:30Yeah, arrested.
09:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:31You know when they lock you up and put the handcuffs on the priesthood.
09:34Sure.
09:34Your mom's coming to take you home.
09:36Well, you were saying last night that sometimes you get three squares that way.
09:40Yeah.
09:40So it wasn't so bad.
09:42It wasn't so bad because.
09:43And ice cream.
09:44Cookies and ice cream at night.
09:45Oh, that's nice.
09:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:47Really?
09:48Where are you from?
09:48Where are you from?
09:49Los Angeles.
09:50Oh.
09:50They got big juvenile facilities there.
09:53All juveniles are really losing their mind out there.
09:56Really?
09:57Yeah.
09:57Oh, I didn't know about that.
09:58You at the detention center in Los Angeles?
09:59No, I got sent away to something, but it wasn't like that.
10:02No, you went to a cult.
10:03Yeah.
10:04There were a lot of people who were there on cult corridor.
10:07Cult?
10:08Cult corridor.
10:09It was like a fucked up.
10:10Yeah, I don't know.
10:11It did a lot of work.
10:12One day I was at, remember when I got arrested in Phoenix, I was discussing the show.
10:17Yeah, I remember.
10:17And so I had to go to the outer program.
10:21Like, you go half the day, then you're out half the day.
10:23And so I would go to this program, and it was this young blonde chick, and I'm looking
10:28at her, and she dressed pretty, she doesn't dress well, but you know, typical jeans and
10:32dirty sneakers and stuff.
10:35So, not just a little plump, but nice, you know.
10:39It's a pleasant girl, all American, Tommy Hilfiger girl, and we're discussing and stuff.
10:43And I'm talking to the counselor, and I get in the room, and I'm like confessing to the
10:47counselor, you know, the girl, Sally Mae, or whatever.
10:49And so, yeah, nice, nice.
10:51She's very attractive, right?
10:52I said, yeah, I just think she's a very nice guy.
10:54He said, why?
10:54You want to dominate her, don't you?
10:56The counselor's talking.
10:57I said, wait, where's this coming at?
10:58He said, yeah, you want to dominate her, don't you?
11:00He said, well, all right, that's okay, but I think I introduced you to her, you know
11:04what I mean?
11:04She comes from a very elite head, she's a member of a cult that's looking for her right
11:09now.
11:09She's in hiding, and you know, I think she should be, and I'm like, what?
11:13You would never think.
11:14Yeah.
11:14Then the next day, he has her do her dissertation, and she's talking about her life, and she's
11:20telling about this thing, and the people have him say, I'm like, whoa.
11:23In the cult, in the cult.
11:25Yeah, and then he's telling her, and I know he said that, yes, well, I can figure out what
11:28I'm getting myself, everything.
11:29So everything, what looks good is not necessarily good, because I thought that was a really
11:33nice score, and then when this guy started telling me this stuff, and he had her do her
11:37little dissertation about who she is, and where she came from, and I'm like, holy shit.
11:43Derek wasn't hurt after that.
11:45Not at all.
11:47Some serious, yo, listen, people call me crazy, and I think I'm pretty sane.
11:52You do?
11:52Yeah, I've seen some serious stuff, man.
11:54Well, you know, there's a lot of stuff, quotes from you that I kind of agree with.
11:59I remember when you said, like, why can't I get a blowjob?
12:02I'm a rich $40 million.
12:04Remember that shit?
12:05Yeah.
12:06I said that shit.
12:06I agree with that.
12:07I said, why not?
12:08Well, I agree to it, but you know what I realized back then?
12:11This is what I didn't realize now, because I'm more astute now, because I realized...
12:19I was dealing with a mental illness.
12:21You were?
12:23It appeared to be, you know, like, yeah.
12:25And did that mental illness help you in the ring?
12:30It's a possibility.
12:32I don't know.
12:34You seem to have a lot of forgiveness when I see you.
12:37Me?
12:37Because I watched your trial with Desiree Washington, and I thought you were innocent.
12:42I thought you were not guilty.
12:44I thought you were taken out of boxing, the same as Ali, for five years or six years,
12:50whatever it was, in your prime, and you had those years stolen from you on an obvious
12:57case of non-rape.
13:00I like that.
13:01I like that.
13:01That sounds good.
13:02But you seem to have forgiveness in your heart, though, for that whole incident.
13:07No.
13:08Is that true or not?
13:11I appear to have forgiveness, yeah.
13:13You do?
13:13It appears to be that way.
13:15Is that God?
13:18Common sense.
13:20Common sense.
13:20If I'm bitter, the only one who's going to suffer is me.
13:22Yeah.
13:23I mean, I'm that kind of guy.
13:24I'm that guy.
13:24I'm the guy to take the medicine.
13:26I mean, take the poison and wait for you to die.
13:28I'm that guy.
13:28I'm just an idiot like this, so I just...
13:30Well, you are.
13:31Yeah, it's commendable.
13:31So you are bitter.
13:32No, I'm not bitter.
13:33No, you just said you take the poison.
13:36I'm that kind of guy.
13:38That you could do that.
13:39Yeah, very easily.
13:40But there's no God involved in helping you.
13:43Nah.
13:43What is your...
13:44God don't care about us.
13:46He doesn't?
13:46No, God don't care about us.
13:48Okay.
13:48God don't need us.
13:49We need God.
13:50True.
13:50Isn't that...
13:51That's true.
13:52Isn't that the paragraph really how it goes?
13:53I like that.
13:54We don't need us.
13:55Right.
13:56Well, I'm going to pray for God.
13:57God loves us.
13:58Come on, God, make sure I knock this guy out.
13:59Well, it doesn't go like that.
14:01No, you just envision these guys as sleeping with your wife.
14:05Yeah.
14:05And then you come along.
14:06My first wife.
14:07Right.
14:08Yeah.
14:08Are you black Muslim still?
14:11I'm not black Muslim.
14:12Well, you're not.
14:13You're a Muslim.
14:14I'm not happy to be black.
14:15No, no, but there is a difference.
14:17No.
14:17Well, I mean, the Elijah Muhammad.
14:21Well, that's a different sect.
14:22No, I'm not a member of that sect.
14:23You're a sect.
14:24You're just Muslim.
14:25Yeah, I guess so.
14:26Okay.
14:27I mean, are you practicing?
14:28Do you pray to Allah every day?
14:31Every damn day.
14:33Oh, good man.
14:34Every day I'm praying and praying and praying.
14:37That's why I'm here, here with you, you.
14:40Yeah.
14:41You can't get nobody's here.
14:42Only people who are godly touched come see you.
14:44Oh, yeah.
14:46That is true.
14:46Only people that are touched by God come to this program.
14:49No.
14:49Oh, I misunderstand.
14:51Godly touch.
14:52Godly touch.
14:52Yeah.
14:53I like that, too.
14:54Did you make that up?
14:55No.
14:55Did you ever think of being a preacher?
14:58No.
14:58My father was a preacher.
14:59My uncle was a preacher.
15:00My grandfather was a preacher.
15:01Oh.
15:01My big grandfather on that side was a preacher.
15:03I come from a whole line of preachers, deacons.
15:08Yeah.
15:09Black church.
15:10Wow.
15:10Yelling.
15:11Yeah.
15:11I didn't know that, but just watching you, I always thought he'd be a great preacher.
15:17Yeah.
15:17That's why I come from that.
15:18You know, you have your story.
15:20It's my bloodline.
15:21It's my bloodline.
15:21It's my bloodline.
15:21It's my bloodline.
15:22You think I wasn't coming back.
15:24Yeah.
15:25You thought they were done with me.
15:27Hey, yeah.
15:27You thought God wouldn't help me come back.
15:30Yeah.
15:30Yeah.
15:30But I'm here.
15:31Yeah.
15:32And you're never going to see me go again.
15:33Yeah.
15:34And I'm here for good.
15:35Yeah.
15:35And the good Lord will make sure I think I'm going to get the revenge.
15:39Revenge is gone.
15:40It's the Lord.
15:41Amen.
15:42Give him an amen.
15:43Amen.
15:44God damn.
15:45No, I'm not going to complain.
15:45That was good.
15:46I'm just joking.
15:47Kilpatrick's.
15:47I love you.
15:48Yeah.
15:49Yeah, yeah.
15:49I'm Kilpatrick.
15:51Kirkpatrick.
15:51Oh, there you go.
15:52Kirkpatrick.
15:53So good.
15:54I'm Kirkpatrick.
15:54Yeah, I'm Kirkpatrick.
15:55And the Kirkpatrick's are really the Bible battle.
15:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:59Are you currently on good times with Don King?
16:02Because I heard so many fallout.
16:03I'm on good times with everybody.
16:06I don't have no beef with no one.
16:07That's what it says.
16:08A man of forgiveness.
16:09So, yeah.
16:09So, how many times do you think you've forgiven him?
16:11Because I've heard.
16:12Listen, if I can't forgive people,
16:16then people shouldn't be able to forgive me.
16:19That's a good way to live your life.
16:22Yeah, that's how I look at it.
16:23God damn.
16:25What about this idea?
16:26Tell me.
16:27This is what I'd watch.
16:30Senior boxing.
16:32You have to be 50.
16:34How old are you, sir?
16:3550.
16:36That'd be perfect.
16:37So, here you are.
16:38It's you.
16:38I don't want to do that shit no more.
16:39But do you think you could?
16:40Norman, no fucking way, Norman.
16:42You couldn't do it.
16:42No.
16:43You couldn't beat up another 50-year-old.
16:45No, Norman.
16:45You'd lose.
16:46Yeah.
16:47Now, do you ever, you've never had a gambling problem that I've heard of.
16:50Life on life.
16:51I gambled on life.
16:52You gambled on life?
16:53Yeah.
16:53Yeah.
16:54What does that mean?
16:55Oh, man.
16:56I'm a life gambler, baby.
16:58Well, what does that mean?
17:01When was the last time you gambled on life?
17:05I don't know.
17:06Doing the show.
17:07This show, something.
17:07Doing everything.
17:08Yeah.
17:09It's gone for it.
17:09You just wouldn't expect.
17:11Now, I'm being truly serious.
17:12I'm not being goofy now.
17:13Sure.
17:14You would never think of a guy who, like I was explaining that show, where I was, $400
17:19million, big time guy, super arrogant, megalomania.
17:23Boom.
17:24Loosh.
17:25And you'll see me doing this.
17:27It's just a totally different spectrum of my whole existence, my whole barometer.
17:32And I'm just smiling at people.
17:34Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:35Yeah.
17:35What about the history of, I know you're a historian of, do you relate to the tough guy?
17:45Did you relate to Sonny Liston?
17:47Yeah.
17:47Like, one of that whole image, like Dempsey Liston, the whole image, the form of the tough,
17:51mean guy.
17:52Sure.
17:53Because I was, from the history of that, it's the whole history of that, that,
17:58the scary guy, the Jeffrey, the John L. Sullivan, those kind of guys.
18:01John, I didn't know John L. Sullivan was a tough guy.
18:03Yeah, he was a scary guy, too.
18:04Yeah, all these scary guys.
18:05Well, if you go into a place and say, I can lick any son of a bitch in the house.
18:08If you go into a bar and say, I can lick any son of a bitch in the house, that's
18:13a tough
18:13guy.
18:14Okay?
18:14That's a guy looking for trouble.
18:15Yeah, that's what he would do.
18:16Son of a God.
18:17That whole scenario, the tough guy, the reason why I took on that scenario there, I realized
18:21that the psychology of the percentages of losing was low.
18:29Those guys' percentages, because mostly when those guys lost, it was their first loss.
18:34That's true.
18:34When those guys lost in the middle of their career, whatever in their career, it was their
18:37first loss.
18:38Right.
18:39Exactly like you.
18:40Yeah, very few.
18:41Very few of those guys, their opponents are lost because of their aura.
18:48They're lost before the fight even started.
18:50And I said, this is the way to win.
18:52The percentage of loss is so low, and the percentage of wins is so high.
18:56So you go into the ring, and you're staring at the guy, and you know you're going to beat
19:00him, and he knows you know.
19:01He knows you're going to beat him.
19:03Is that the idea?
19:04Yeah.
19:05You know, what I've learned about human beings is that we are pretty much timid people and
19:10God-fearing, and we are intimidated.
19:15But by being intimidated, we turn that into fear, the fire.
19:20And sometimes their fear turns into victory.
19:25So that's the only downside of the big intimidating monster.
19:30It's like David.
19:31You're so scared, you kill the guy.
19:33Right, right, right.
19:33You're so scared of the guy.
19:34You kick his ass.
19:35Did you ever worry that you might kill a man in the ring?
19:38No, I always worried that someone might kill me.
19:40Really?
19:40Yeah.
19:40Did you, when you were going, when you just go at a guy in 30 seconds and take him out,
19:45was your intent to kill him?
19:47No.
19:48My intent was just to make sure he didn't get up in 10 seconds when the count was over.
19:52Yeah.
19:53And I never wanted to really hurt a guy.
19:55During the process, yes.
19:56Did you ever hurt a guy for life?
20:00I don't know.
20:00It's hard to know.
20:01It's hard to know.
20:02It's been a long time to find out.
20:03Yeah.
20:03But you were, you were never hit.
20:07Yeah.
20:07You can't hit people and not get hit.
20:10No.
20:10That's the whole purpose of fighting, to learn that you're going to get hit back.
20:12What about the strength of your neck?
20:14I always thought, because I thought that was what kept your head.
20:18No way.
20:19Yeah.
20:19No?
20:19No.
20:20No, the neck's not an important part.
20:22That's all physical.
20:24You have to have spirit.
20:25You're going to be the biggest, strongest guy in the world.
20:27Your head pulled.
20:27You don't have no spirit, no determination.
20:29You're going to die.
20:30Yeah.
20:31You're going to lay down.
20:32Plus, the neck.
20:33You got to be competitive.
20:34No.
20:34Guys are broken.
20:35You see guys like Gracie.
20:37You see guys like Ali.
20:38Yeah.
20:39In that prime.
20:40Yeah.
20:40These guys.
20:41I saw him fight this guy.
20:42What was his name?
20:45I was in a Hughes something.
20:47Matt Hughes.
20:48Oh, Huyts.
20:49Matt Hughes.
20:49Yes, he did.
20:50And I saw Matt Hughes grab his arm and put it all the way in the back.
20:54It ripped it.
20:55He didn't tap out.
20:57Jesus.
20:58He had to beat him unconscious.
20:59Like, some of those guys, that's just the mentality.
21:02God, you got to kill him.
21:03You got to kill him.
21:04Ali's the same way.
21:05If you don't stop the fight, the guy got to kill him.
21:07He won't quit.
21:08He won't quit.
21:08That's what I just said.
21:09They won't quit.
21:10Do you know the fighter George Chavalo?
21:13Very well, yeah.
21:14I saw him last week.
21:15You did?
21:16Mm-hmm.
21:16Hell of a man.
21:18Never went down.
21:18No, forget that.
21:20That's nothing.
21:20You know his life?
21:22Yes.
21:23Ooh.
21:24His children died of heroin.
21:25Georgian, yeah, man, man, man.
21:28But he told me that what goes on a boxer a lot is the kidneys, because they get in the
21:33clinch and the guy, you know, give you a hundred kidney punches.
21:37But yeah, he's a...
21:38I think boxing helped me.
21:40I think I was talking.
21:42You know, I think I was really more pugnacious before I started really boxing.
21:46And I think with the punches that I got, and I think some kind of way, he straightened me
21:50out.
21:50I don't have the super, super, duper lisp.
21:53Yeah.
21:53Oh, no, you don't.
21:55Did you used to have a bigger lisp?
21:56I don't remember.
21:57Whoa.
21:57Yeah.
21:58I can understand everything you say.
22:00It was like, it's like the T, the R, and the S. It's like shrimp, and shrimp, and shit,
22:05and, you know, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, shit, you know.
22:12Strawberry.
22:14Shrimp.
22:15Strawberries.
22:16That's like Captain Queeg.
22:18But we got to come right back with more, and then we're going to talk about the great
22:24Mike Tyson and his new project on TV, Mike Tyson's mystery.
22:28You're going to be goofy on the white shelves and say crazy things on the white shelves you
22:32can't say in the blank.
22:32Especially this one.
22:38Back with the one Mike Tyson, the only Mike Tyson.
22:45Now, Mike, now you're doing a television program, a cartoon, called Mike Tyson's Mysteries.
22:52Tell the folks about that, right under that camera right there.
22:55Well, Mike Tyson's mystery is, I don't know.
22:58How did it come about?
22:59Hey, some white people who I believe were executives at first, who appeared to be,
23:05detectives, when they appeared to my door, said that, um...
23:10So at first you thought they were detectives.
23:12Yes, but I didn't see where my wife let them in, so now they're in the house.
23:15So you see white people, you just assume, no, those are some detectives.
23:19Well, I've seen white people that look like them.
23:22Oh, I got you.
23:22Some kind of creepy detectives.
23:24Yeah, yeah.
23:24This is a real-life Mike Tyson mystery.
23:26I know these people.
23:26And they do look like detectives, these guys.
23:29And so, um...
23:31They came into your house?
23:33Yeah, so I don't know what the hell's going on, so they explained that.
23:38They want to do a cartoon.
23:39Yeah.
23:40And I said, well, I'm not interested, because...
23:42And I saw us sitting down talking to Huey, and he said, well, I didn't really think this
23:46would work either.
23:47The guy told me, I didn't really think this would work either.
23:50Yeah, this is Huey Davidson, the creator of...
23:52So why are you here, you know?
23:53Yeah.
23:53I guess they went back, I don't know, they went back to, um...
23:56Hollywood?
23:58Yeah, the executives.
23:59They did some writing, and they...
24:00He showed me some stuff, and I said, whoa, that's pretty cool.
24:03I thought he was going to show me the stuff that you do like this.
24:06You know, you go like this.
24:07Like, you know, the first, like, um...
24:09Oh, yeah.
24:09Edison stuff, and go like this.
24:11I thought it was going to be like that.
24:12And then I saw...
24:13I said, wow, this is awesome.
24:15I saw him move, and I was moving and talking.
24:16I said, yeah, I want to do this.
24:18And so I expedient my attitude and fore, and I was just...
24:23All in for it, and I was successful.
24:26It was.
24:26I played a pigeon on it, but...
24:28You perked out pigeon.
24:29What I like about it is he does it real fast.
24:31He doesn't do a hundred takes, Mike.
24:33I mean, Hue.
24:35No, just Hue.
24:36I know, it's really good.
24:36He gets through it, you know?
24:38And, uh...
24:39But it must be cool to see yourself as a cartoon.
24:43Hey, it's just awesome to see myself in a good cartoon.
24:50Right?
24:50Yes.
24:52I think it was a window washer.
24:54It's a window washer, Mike.
24:56Fucking scare the shit out of him.
24:57You go with some...
24:58You go with some...
24:59Hey, go to the window.
25:00I'm not going to do that.
25:00No way.
25:01No way.
25:01No fucking way.
25:03I ain't doing that.
25:03Nah, you're right.
25:04Your days of scaring window washers are over.
25:07Big time.
25:08Yeah.
25:08Big time.
25:10Now, let me ask you.
25:12So you're not going to be a preacher.
25:13That's my idea.
25:14You know, hit the road and convert people...
25:17You never know.
25:17You never know.
25:18...to God.
25:18Maybe it'll happen.
25:20You never know.
25:21Because it's not up to you.
25:22It's up to God.
25:22I might see Jesus.
25:24You could see Jesus.
25:25When you were young, Jesus was part of your life.
25:28Jesus is always around.
25:30Still around.
25:30He's always around.
25:31Still around.
25:32Somewhere.
25:32So even as a Muslim...
25:34He's coming back.
25:34He's coming back.
25:35You believe in a resurrection of Jesus.
25:37Amen.
25:38I'm just trying to understand.
25:39I don't know.
25:40I'm trying to understand.
25:41Yeah, it's all you can do, right?
25:42Yeah.
25:42You don't know.
25:43None of us know.
25:44What do you know?
25:45I don't know shit.
25:47Well, you know something.
25:47I know one thing, Mike.
25:49I know that.
25:49You know.
25:50I know that there's a God.
25:53I don't know his nature.
25:55You know?
25:56I can't be expected to know his nature.
26:01But I know from life there is a God.
26:03Really?
26:04Tell me.
26:06Because I've seen in life that people often are...
26:11They get salvation.
26:13And that's what teaches me that there's a God.
26:16You know what teaches me that there's a God?
26:17No.
26:18What teaches Mike Tyson that there's a God?
26:22Just that I'm existing.
26:24Yeah.
26:25Well, that makes sense.
26:26Yeah, just that I'm existing.
26:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:28Waking up this morning.
26:29Not many people didn't wake up and we...
26:31Yeah.
26:32Let us wake up.
26:33Yeah.
26:34My dad did not wake up today.
26:36How do you know?
26:38Well, he died 20 years ago.
26:40This day?
26:41No.
26:42No, it's not the anniversary of my dad's death.
26:45What the fuck are you talking about?
26:46You brought some bullshit.
26:47My dad...
26:48You brought some bullshit to this scenario, man.
26:49I'll tell you my dad's dream.
26:50He lived in a remote area of Canada.
26:53Dead poor.
26:55Dead poor?
26:55But his dream was to go to New York City.
26:59Are you a Canadian?
27:00Yes, sir.
27:01From where?
27:02From...
27:02Dead poor.
27:03Ottawa, Ontario.
27:04Just outside of Ottawa, Ontario.
27:05The nation's capital.
27:06But my dad's dream is...
27:08I think Canadians are really the best people.
27:10You do?
27:10The ones I've seen.
27:11Not the guy that's going, Wolf Creek and those guys are suicidal.
27:14But I think the ones...
27:15Yeah.
27:15Just click A.
27:16You know what I mean?
27:17A.
27:17Yeah, I don't know what you mean.
27:18A.
27:18They say A a lot.
27:19I like A.
27:20Especially at Wolf Creek.
27:21And they say sorry a lot.
27:22That's suicidal.
27:23They say sorry.
27:24Yes.
27:24Sorry.
27:25Look, I steal your dog.
27:26You say sorry to me.
27:27Yeah.
27:27I love that you can abuse those kind of people.
27:30I love those people.
27:30They have humility.
27:31I love those people.
27:32Humility.
27:33But my dad's dream is to go to New York City to Jack Dempsey's restaurant.
27:38Meet Jack Dempsey, who sat in the back of the restaurant.
27:41Did you ever meet Jack Dempsey?
27:41No, never in my life, but I used to hear that story, too.
27:44Yeah, yeah.
27:44I always hear that story.
27:45Who did you meet in boxing that were your heroes?
27:48You met Floyd Patterson, I'm sure.
27:50Floyd Patterson, Muhammad Ali, Roberta Duran, Jersey Joe Walcott, Sugar Ray Robbins.
27:56Jersey?
27:56Okay, stop at Jersey Joe Walcott.
27:58How old was Jersey Joe Walcott when you met him?
28:01Well, he appeared to be older, perhaps in the 60s.
28:04It was 1984, 83 at the time.
28:08And I was 16 when I met him.
28:10And you knew about him.
28:11You're a historian.
28:12I watched all his films since I was 13.
28:14And where did you get the films?
28:15Cuss?
28:15Well, Cuss had a partner that was president of Big Fight Films, and I used to watch him.
28:22So you'd watch Jersey Joe Walcott.
28:24Benny Lennon, everybody.
28:27Robertson, Gans, just his name, I'd watch him.
28:30On the Chronicle Order from 1890s to the modern times.
28:35And how do you rate yourself in your prime as a heavyweight box champion?
28:42I don't know.
28:43In the history of heavyweight champions.
28:45That's the whole thing about being a champion, being a fighter, being so-called a great fighter.
28:50You don't get the chance to rate yourself.
28:52That's what the crowd do.
28:53That's what history does.
28:54Yeah, you have to perform.
28:56Off your performance.
28:57But what about your performance?
28:58The numbers, the time you took to knock a man out, the average time you took to knock a man
29:05out in your prime was a couple of minutes, probably.
29:10Still holds the record, right, for the quickest knockout.
29:12What's the quickest knockout?
29:13Eight seconds?
29:14Eight seconds.
29:15Wow.
29:16God damn.
29:17That's his record for fucking jizzing on another dude.
29:22Eight seconds jizz?
29:23Yeah, he jizzed for eight seconds all over another dude.
29:25The jizzing.
29:26The jizzing.
29:27That fucking jizzer.
29:29That's your nickname, man.
29:30The jizzer.
29:30The jizzer.
29:31The marathon masturbator, right?
29:33Yeah, the marathon might just go down on him.
29:34Yeah, but he wasn't jizzing on a guy's face, though.
29:36One time, listen, one time I was masturbating so hard.
29:40Yeah.
29:40Is that how big your cock is?
29:42No.
29:43I was like, I'm just fucking going through the fucking shit to make people think it's that big.
29:47It's not that big.
29:47Oh, okay.
29:47It's not that big.
29:48So, all right?
29:49So I'm going through the process, and I want to do it so bad because I'm in the back of
29:53the dressing room.
29:53And then, boom, it's blood.
29:56Oh, no.
29:56What the?
29:57What?
29:57Yeah.
29:58Yeah, I can't have some fucking blood.
29:59Oh, no.
30:00And I put it back in my pants.
30:01I said, oh, my God.
30:02Oh, my God.
30:03I'm there.
30:03I got a disease.
30:04I got a fucking disease.
30:05Yeah, of course.
30:06Oh, shit.
30:07I didn't have sex.
30:08Who was the last girl I had sex with back then?
30:09I think I was on drugs the last time I had sex.
30:11So who was that girl?
30:12I don't even know her name.
30:13Oh, I'm dying.
30:13It was probably a fucking Dracula or something.
30:16Was it a Dracula?
30:17It could have been you.
30:18I don't know.
30:18It was just any.
30:19I don't know.
30:20It was just blood.
30:21It was not me.
30:22It was blood.
30:23Ejaculated blood.
30:24And I was like, fuck, I'm going to die.
30:26Of course you're going to die.
30:28What happened?
30:28I don't know.
30:29Nothing happened again.
30:30You never?
30:31You didn't seek a physician?
30:33No.
30:34I was scared for them to tell me what it was.
30:35Oh, I see.
30:36Yeah.
30:36So you ignored the check in.
30:37When I used to fight, I used to have, like, always have sex.
30:40I can't see fucking dripping.
30:42I'll be dripping like a good human in July.
30:43And I'm scared to go because I'm thinking I got AIDS.
30:45I can't take the AIDS test.
30:46I'm saying, I ain't taking a fucking test.
30:48And listen, sometimes I say, all right, Chan.
30:51You don't got to take it.
30:51I ain't.
30:51Listen.
30:52He made a terrible mistake.
30:53He took the AIDS test and he crammed the night before.
30:56No.
31:00Everyone, it's a terrible mistake.
31:01I ain't talking to you.
31:02Listen.
31:02I didn't want to.
31:06I ain't want to take the test, man.
31:08I ain't want to take the test.
31:09I ain't want to.
31:10Yeah, I don't blame you.
31:10I don't blame you.
31:10Now, a lot of people say, like, boxers will be celibate for months before a fight.
31:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:16Did you ever try that?
31:17Yeah, hell.
31:18Yeah, I did.
31:19Listen, that's the only reason.
31:20Listen, I thought that's the only reason I was going to make it, not to have sex.
31:23That's why I was a weirdo for all those years.
31:24Yeah.
31:25Hey, I'm just so happy.
31:26Oh, so you didn't have sex.
31:28That stuff is not true.
31:28Oh, it's not true.
31:29Don't believe that stuff.
31:30It's not true.
31:31My mentor didn't believe it either, but I used to hear it so much.
31:34Yeah.
31:35And it all comes down to your discipline.
31:36How bad do you want it?
31:38How, you know, how bad you can do it?
31:40But you don't want to have sex that day, do you?
31:43Well, listen, sometimes the most successful people in the world are kind of, they're like
31:50self-sabotagers.
31:51Right.
31:52Sometimes they're scared of success.
31:54Yeah.
31:54Yeah.
31:54Yeah.
31:55Sometimes you can self-sabotage.
31:57Did you self-sabotage with Buster Douglas?
32:00Lots of time.
32:01But that was just a rare one.
32:02But Buster, I self-sabotaged and I still won.
32:06So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:07Everybody has their ups and downs.
32:09Oh, yeah.
32:10I do.
32:10I'm very grateful.
32:10I'm very grateful for all my losses.
32:12It's one of my books.
32:13I remember, you know, toward the end of your career, you would lose and then you would
32:17thank your opponent for the opportunity to fight and the opportunity to make money for
32:23your family.
32:24Yeah.
32:24And I thought it was very humble, you know?
32:26You do, really?
32:27I don't even know what that is.
32:28Oh, I don't know.
32:28I mean, at other times you would be pretty rough in those post-interviews.
32:36Sometimes.
32:37That's my whole gimmick.
32:39The bad guy, the tough guy with bad life and nobody can beat me.
32:43Biting a guy's ear.
32:45Yeah.
32:46That's not, you didn't invent that.
32:49That's a thing that people do, right?
32:51In fights.
32:52Sometimes, yeah.
32:53Yeah.
32:53Sometimes.
32:55You're penalized for that stuff, though.
32:57Are you sure?
32:58Well, you lost the fight.
32:59Now, look, money.
33:00Money.
33:01Yeah, right?
33:02But what do you mean you lost money?
33:04Three million.
33:05Three million bucks.
33:06Oh, well, what's three million to you?
33:07A lot of money.
33:09Yeah?
33:10What if you had only...
33:12I doubled it with the...
33:13You know, I take pictures.
33:14If you had only...
33:15So the pictures of me taken with ear bites, I kind of like doubled and tripled at three
33:19million.
33:19Oh, so it all worked out.
33:20Yeah, bite pictures of...
33:22I can't expect...
33:24Expensive.
33:25Tell us about pigeons.
33:27Pigeons are cool.
33:28Where'd you come into that?
33:29Did you...
33:30You know the movie...
33:31You know the movie on the waterfront.
33:32Waterfront, I know.
33:33Did you...
33:34Does that have anything to do with it?
33:35No.
33:36Not before I was born.
33:37Oh, I know.
33:38How can I know anything about the waterfront?
33:39Well, you can see movies that are old.
33:42You watch Jersey Joe Walcott, for Christ's sake.
33:44I love old movies.
33:45Yeah, so...
33:46Scorsese directing your biopic.
33:48That's true?
33:49That's a...
33:49That's what it appears to be.
33:51That's very cool.
33:52Who would you want...
33:52Who would you want to play?
33:54You want...
33:55So Jamie Foxx is...
33:56Yeah.
33:57...classmen.
33:57He'd be great.
33:58He'd be great.
33:58He'd want to play.
33:59He wants to play.
34:00I never thought about a movie about myself
34:01because he brought it up.
34:02What did he do for...
34:03You said he worked for you at one point.
34:05No, no.
34:05He worked for my...
34:07Listen, I...
34:08He was not...
34:09I don't necessarily...
34:09Yeah, I think he was.
34:10Because my friend had opened up this store
34:13and I had loaned him some of his money.
34:16I invested money for him to open the store.
34:18And so I'm near...
34:20To me, I'm nothing of a business, man.
34:22He sells phones.
34:23He sells pages and stuff.
34:26I mean, it's a good little bit.
34:27But man, I'm just a stupid kid.
34:28I come in there, but I have money.
34:30So I come in there.
34:30I have my buddies with me.
34:32I see some other guys with me.
34:33Maybe some tough guys.
34:35And we started a dice game.
34:37And so we just started, you know,
34:39to see all the guys come out of the drug deal
34:40with their little stacks.
34:41Boom.
34:42All the tough guys come with their stack.
34:43And we just stand and shoot and dice.
34:45And Jamie's looking around.
34:46I'm like, what the hell's going on?
34:48This is a respectable place.
34:49You know, and I'm just there hanging out.
34:51And just to see him doing so well,
34:53it's just...
34:54Man, I'm just so grateful.
34:55Well, that's just me.
34:56He's done great.
34:57And he would be great as you.
34:59He would be great as...
35:00Who would you cast...
35:00He'd be great as anybody, right?
35:02Who would you cast as other members in your life?
35:04He could play Dunga Den, huh?
35:05Who would you cast as Cuss?
35:07As Cuss?
35:08I don't know.
35:08Joe Pesci sounds like a good...
35:10Oh, that's a good idea.
35:11Joe Pesci's awesome.
35:12Yeah.
35:12Very good idea.
35:13He's...
35:14Yeah, he's from the Bronx.
35:15Cuss from the Bronx.
35:16Well, you want to read some jokes, Mike?
35:20We read jokes on this show off blue cards.
35:24Go for it.
35:25All right.
35:25You want me to do the first one then?
35:27Yeah.
35:27I thought I was going to be rich, Mike,
35:29but it turns out there really isn't that much of a call for radish cider.
35:35Radish cider?
35:36What's radish cider, motherfucker?
35:38That's a thing that someone made up.
35:40Now, will you read one?
35:42Okay.
35:44Researchers have discovered that cockroaches have personalities.
35:47Huh.
35:47Not great ones.
35:48Not great ones, mind you.
35:50Oh, not good ones.
35:51Yeah, that makes sense.
35:51How do you know?
35:52Well, hey, why is taking no pleasure in things I used to enjoy a sign of depression?
35:58Maybe I'm just finally sick of crayon.
36:00Say it again?
36:01I don't know.
36:01It's a long joke.
36:02Hey, why did Mike Tyson...
36:04This is a joke about you.
36:05Why did Mike Tyson break up with his girlfriend?
36:09Which one?
36:09At first, he thought she was ear-resistible.
36:15But then, they started having ear-reconcilable differences.
36:20That's just whack.
36:21It's about your ear, man.
36:23What do you call a gay boxer?
36:24It's about somebody else's ear.
36:26What do you call a gay boxer?
36:27Huh?
36:28What do you call a gay boxer?
36:29Norm Macdonald.
36:30No?
36:30No.
36:38That was funny.
36:39That was funny.
36:41That was funny.
36:42That was funny.
36:42No.
36:43That was funny.
36:44No.
36:45No.
36:45Listen.
36:46Come on, no.
36:47Hey, what about...
36:47Read that one.
36:48Read that one.
36:49Sherry Shepard is worried her ex-husband will release nude photos of her.
36:53So am I.
36:54I'm not worried.
36:55Sherry Shepard is fine.
36:56She's a fine woman.
36:57I don't know who...
36:58Fine, sexy, devilish, ravaged black woman that I live with.
37:02Yeah.
37:03You like that?
37:04I need meat to skeet, baby.
37:05I got a joke for her.
37:06We should let Adam Eagot write a joke, right?
37:09Write a joke?
37:10Read a joke.
37:11Oh, yeah.
37:11I'll read a joke.
37:12Oh, here's a good joke for Adam Eagot.
37:14Do you like when Adam Eagot reads a joke?
37:17Mike?
37:18Mm-hmm.
37:18Do you like when Adam Eagot reads a joke?
37:21Are you capable of reading that?
37:23I think we'll see.
37:24We're all going to find out together, right?
37:25Absolutely.
37:26Well, apparently, the Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones are spontaneously catching on fire
37:30when you run screaming.
37:32They also eat with roaming charges.
37:34Okay.
37:35I never witnessed that.
37:36Yeah, I haven't.
37:36Okay, listen.
37:37This is the last joke.
37:38I want to read the last joke.
37:40You're going to read it.
37:41And you see, you don't...
37:42We as white people can say that, but you can say the real thing.
37:46Okay.
37:46You know what the real thing is, right?
37:47Yeah.
37:48Because there's a lot of words that start with that letter.
37:51But you know what I'm talking about.
37:52Yeah.
37:53Okay, let's hear this joke.
37:55Researches in Russia say that the dolphins have a distant spoken language of their own.
38:01You're saying that dolphins have a distinct language all their own?
38:05Yes.
38:06Huh.
38:07What's the solution?
38:08What's the solution that they use the N-word?
38:11Ooh, that they use the N-word constantly.
38:13No, what word do they use?
38:15Nigger word.
38:16N-word.
38:16Oh, yeah.
38:17What'd you call it?
38:19Dump?
38:20The what word?
38:20Nigger.
38:22Nigger, ninja.
38:22Word, yeah.
38:23Say it.
38:23I want to hear you say that word.
38:24I don't want to say it.
38:25Say it.
38:25Because then it'll be on tape forever.
38:27Say it.
38:27I say it in my private life many of the time.
38:30Say it.
38:30Say it, honky.
38:31Say it, honky.
38:32Say, nigga, honky.
38:33Say it.
38:34Say it.
38:34Say it.
38:34Fucking say it, honky.
38:38Listen.
38:39Am I wrong or am I imagining this?
38:41No, say it, nigger, honky.
38:42Say it, honky.
38:43Come on, cracker.
38:48Mike, I have to ask you a question.
38:50Say it.
38:51Say it.
38:52I can't say it.
38:53Let it make him say it.
38:56Make Adam Egan say it, Mike.
38:58God damn.
39:01These crazy fists are like inches from my face.
39:04I'm sorry.
39:04I'm sorry.
39:05It's Mike Tyson.
39:05I'm just playing, guys.
39:06I'm just playing.
39:07I know.
39:07I'm just playing the Hollywood shit.
39:09You're playing with your, you know, registered weapons of your face.
39:13It's Hollywood.
39:13It's Hollywood.
39:14I'm playing.
39:15I'm playing.
39:15I'm playing, man.
39:16He's playing.
39:17This is what I think I saw on Arsenio.
39:19You tell me if I'm wrong.
39:21What?
39:21It was you.
39:22It was Sugar Ray Leonard, and then the great Muhammad Ali came out.
39:27Arsenio Hull asked Muhammad Ali, what nickname would you give me?
39:34And Muhammad Ali said, I remember him saying this, and Arsenio told me he did say this, that he gave
39:43Arsenio a nickname on the show that I can't say.
39:46What was it?
39:47Well, you can say it, but I can't.
39:49Is it N?
39:50Is that his nickname?
39:51You look like George Bush just a little bit.
39:56Look, look, look, look.
39:57Come on, serious, man.
39:58Can you see it?
39:59What's wrong with it?
40:00A little bit.
40:01Don't kiss ass.
40:02Can you see it?
40:03For real.
40:04You don't like George Bush?
40:05George Bush is great.
40:06Come on, man.
40:07He's a great man.
40:08Yeah, but you're not.
40:09No, I'm not.
40:10I don't pretend to be George Bush.
40:12Why?
40:12I like to look like a great man.
40:14Stop looking like George Bush.
40:16Don't break my arm, Mike, please.
40:19Don't snap my wrist like a twig.
40:23I know it would be good television, but God damn.
40:26Can you hit him for a while?
40:28No, no, no, no, no.
40:30I know you're playing, but play with him.
40:32No, I'm not playing with you.
40:33No, I know him.
40:33Why?
40:34Because everybody always asks me what it's like to be with you, so now I'm going to tell him.
40:37Oh, man, I'm kicking on his ass the last time I said no.
40:40Yeah, it's the fucking interview started.
40:41You were going to suck my dick.
40:42Yeah, I know, but I changed.
40:44I'm a flipper.
40:44I got multi-personality disorder.
40:47I go to this guy.
40:48I go to this guy.
40:49I would never go to you for a blowjob because you might beat me up instead.
40:53You never know.
40:55Yeah, you never know with Mike.
40:56He's the worst fucking male prostitute.
40:58He would be a horrible male prostitute.
41:00But a great mugger.
41:01Yeah, you'd be a good mugger.
41:03Hey, come on, a blowjob.
41:04Blow.
41:05Yeah, pretend to be.
41:07That would be a good.
41:08If you didn't get into boxing, where would you be right now?
41:13Well, I don't know.
41:14If custom had it, it didn't come into your life.
41:17I don't know.
41:18I would be.
41:18Was greatness, would you achieve greatness anyway, do you believe?
41:21I don't know.
41:22We all have different definitions of greatness.
41:24But it's what you wanted.
41:25Yeah.
41:26From an early age.
41:27Well, greatness could have just been.
41:29Being a good family man, being a father.
41:32Fucking being one of these guys, missionary guys.
41:34Not the position, but you know, you got to go to these places.
41:37Sure, sure.
41:38You got to go to these places.
41:40You got to go to all these places.
41:42No way.
41:43You go to all these places.
41:44You build bridges in the name of God.
41:45No, they're great.
41:46And then they go home and they have sex in the traditional way.
41:50I like to believe I'm doing it in the name of God.
41:53I believe you are too, sir.
41:55I like to think I'm doing good things in the name of God, even though I often fellatio to people.
42:02But you know, it's just in the name of God.
42:04He offers fellatio to people.
42:06Like the earlier today.
42:07But then when they go to collect, he fucking breaks their arm.
42:10Yeah.
42:14Things are really bad.
42:15Look at this.
42:16What about this picture over here?
42:17What about that?
42:19It's the end of the interview?
42:20I guess.
42:21I'm glad not the fucking hour, because I was in fucking hour.
42:24I was telling you about an hour before we got here.
42:26It's like free free.
42:27I think you did now.
42:27I was telling you about the hour before we got here.
42:29I didn't do no fucking hour.
42:30How long was the interview?
42:31Five minutes, Mike.
42:32How long was the interview?
42:33Forty-five.
42:33Forty-five minutes, Mike.
42:35If it was an hour, I would have beat you a fucking ass.
42:36I know.
42:37I wouldn't want to do an hour.
42:37The first thing I said, I don't want to do an hour.
42:39I know, man.
42:40If I had done an hour, you would have beat the fucking shit out of me.
42:43And I think I would have been sucking dick.
42:46Oh, the days I look when the camera's open, man.
42:49We're going down.
42:49You're going down.
42:50After the camera?
42:51In both ways.
42:53He's going down.
42:54Out, and he's going down for the blow.
42:57He's going for the night.
42:58I don't want to go down both ways.
43:00Yes, you get the shit.
43:01It's a good one.
43:02But if I go down, if you beat me up, then I'll, you got to let me do the blowjob
43:08first.
43:08Because if you beat me up, I won't be able to do it.
43:10Yeah, fuck.
43:11I'll be like, yeah.
43:13I forgot that.
43:14You don't want that.
43:15You don't want that.
43:17Goddamn.
43:18Then we're going to have to get Orlando Cruz, right?
43:21I thought it'd be able to do it.
43:22Yes, sir.
43:23What was the joke?
43:24Orlando Cruz.
43:25What do you call a gay guy?
43:26You said me.
43:27But it was Orlando Cruz was the joke.
43:30But it's not really a joke because he's out of the closet.
43:32No, he's a great fighter, too.
43:34Incredible fighter.
43:35Now, when you go in to, if you went into a ring with a guy who was, come out of
43:42the closet
43:42who was gay, would you use that against him?
43:45Would you start calling names in the ring?
43:47No.
43:47No?
43:48You wouldn't?
43:48No, before the fight?
43:50No, during the fight.
43:51Oh, no.
43:52Oh, you don't talk.
43:52You don't trash talk.
43:54Oh, no.
43:54I don't got time to talk.
43:55I don't got time to talk.
43:56We got to fight.
43:57We got to fight.
43:58Do you hear other guys talking to you?
44:00Oh, yeah.
44:00And that triggers you to go harder, or you ignore it.
44:03I'm not angrious.
44:05You're not.
44:05The objective is to appear that I'm angry.
44:07Okay.
44:08I'm not angrious.
44:08So that was George Foreman also.
44:09No, he's not going to.
44:10It's not over.
44:11He wants us to stop.
44:12No, fuck you.
44:13Come on, man.
44:14George Foreman also.
44:15Oh, he was vicious.
44:16But it was an appearance.
44:17Yes.
44:17Because afterwards, he was a sweet guy.
44:19Listen, this guy's a preacher, all right?
44:20Give me a break.
44:21He's a preacher.
44:21He's a preacher, all right?
44:22Yeah, yeah.
44:22That's all.
44:23But Sonny Liston, that was no act.
44:25That's the real mean dude.
44:26That's the real bad guy.
44:30Maybe you know this story.
44:32But George Chevala told me he wanted to fight, because he fought all the greats.
44:35He wanted to fight Liston.
44:37And his manager was only offering him $10,000.
44:40He said, give me $20,000, just for my self-respect.
44:43And he said, I'm talking to his manager every day.
44:45I'm talking to Sonny, and he won't go for it.
44:48Then they found Sonny dead.
44:49He'd been dead five days.
44:51Chevala says, you motherfucker.
44:53You told me you talked to him yesterday.
44:57All right, baby.
44:59You're all right, okay?
45:00Listen, say goodbye.
45:01You ain't lying more than a guy in the fight business, man.
45:04That's the only business.
45:05Fight business is the only business in the history of business that all the fucking, you
45:12know, everything's not on the table.
45:13There's always something.
45:15The whole thing's never on the table.
45:16Something under the table.
45:18Oh, never the whole deal.
45:20This is what it is.
45:21Never.
45:22Never.
45:23Don't believe it.
45:23Never.
45:24I worked with One Day with Don King.
45:29What was that like?
45:30He was like a viper.
45:32It was scary.
45:32I went in a room with him.
45:33He was a scary motherfucker.
45:35You know?
45:35With four Nation of Islam guys around him.
45:38Not smiling.
45:39Not, no, only in America.
45:41None of that shit.
45:41Just looking at me with rings and shit.
45:43And I'm going to tell you this right now.
45:44From my experience with Don King, and I'm going to tell you the experience.
45:49Yeah.
45:49He's not going to bust a grape.
45:52He's not going to, that's just like his perception.
45:53He's not going to hit nobody.
45:54He's not going to have no physical confrontation with nobody.
45:57Yeah.
45:58It's not going to happen.
45:59But still, he can control incredibly tough guys.
46:03Now, I heard.
46:04He's not going to fight nobody.
46:05He's not going to do good fighting nobody.
46:06He's not that guy.
46:07I know he's a big guy.
46:08He's not the fighter.
46:09I heard his move.
46:11I heard his move was, if his boxer, you know, got a $5 million purse, he would pull
46:17out an attaché case with $400,000 and then say, take it or leave it.
46:22And the guy would take it.
46:23That's during Reconstruction time.
46:25He wouldn't do that now.
46:28Reconstruction?
46:28He wouldn't do that now.
46:30That's it.
46:32You did the Peter Jackson, those guys.
46:34Back in Peter Jackson, yeah.
46:36Yeah.
46:37You do know a lot of boxing, huh?
46:39You're a history guy, huh?
46:40A little bit, yeah.
46:41You know that history.
46:42Well, I like the older guys, you know?
46:43Yeah.
46:44Fitz Simmons.
46:45Yeah.
46:46I went to his grave site.
46:48Oh, you did?
46:49Oh, wow.
46:49He's buried right next to Jack Johnson.
46:51They were friends.
46:52They were friends?
46:52I did not know that.
46:54Yeah, they fought with their friends.
46:55Fitz Simmons was a different kind of guy.
46:57He's from Australia.
46:58He's very conservative.
46:59Kind of Republican guy.
47:00Tall guy.
47:01He's a very conservative.
47:02Didn't tolerate nothing.
47:04You couldn't talk disrespectful.
47:05But not racist.
47:06No.
47:06He didn't appear to be.
47:07He said, if you lay your hands on me, I will murder you.
47:09He tossed me like that.
47:10Yeah.
47:11Leave your hands on me.
47:12I won't murder you.
47:14And who did they bring back?
47:15James Jeffries.
47:16That was my...
47:16Jeffries was, listen...
47:18He was a great fighter.
47:19Yeah, Jeffries was one of those guys that was talking about.
47:21He used to scare.
47:22He used to mean.
47:23He used to mean.
47:24Yeah.
47:24He was one of those mean fucking guys.
47:26Really tough.
47:28But they brought him back to fight Johnson.
47:30He was an old man.
47:31He was an old, washed up.
47:32But no, listen.
47:32He was remarkable after getting in shape that quick.
47:35Right, yeah.
47:36Handball.
47:37Well, how old?
47:37He must have been 40.
47:38No, he was 38, 39.
47:40Something like that.
47:41But he got in shape.
47:42Well, 40 is pretty close.
47:43He got in shape, man.
47:45Yeah.
47:46Imagine that.
47:47Coming out of retirement to fight Jack Johnson.
47:50That's five years.
47:50Jesus Christ.
47:51Every time and doing nothing.
47:52He got fat game, 300 pounds.
47:54And what about Jack Johnson?
47:55That guy was a big motherfucker.
47:57He wasn't that big for the time he was.
47:59He was only six foot and a half and 198 pounds.
48:03Oh.
48:03But for the time, that wasn't big.
48:05So when he lost to Jeff Willard, Jeff Willard was 6'6", 245.
48:08That was a giant of a man.
48:10You know, that was a giant.
48:11They used to have those big freaks, like Carnera,
48:15where they'd just find a big, tall guy and figure he could box.
48:19Well, that's the Goliath symptom.
48:21You think the biggest guy is the best guy.
48:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
48:24They're not the best guy, but if they hit you, they can hurt you.
48:27They can, but you get inside.
48:28You just get inside of them and take them apart.
48:31You got to get in there first.
48:33Yeah, get in there.
48:34Who was your toughest fight ever?
48:36Everybody.
48:36Everybody was tough.
48:37Not everybody.
48:38In eight seconds?
48:38If you knock a guy out in eight seconds, that's not that tough.
48:40Well, Cus told me if that guy was relaxed enough, he would have got me.
48:44I don't know why.
48:44Eight seconds, I said you had your hands down.
48:46That guy was relaxed enough.
48:47Would he do that a lot?
48:47I heard he told you you were going to lose the Golden Glove.
48:50No, no, he wouldn't say that.
48:52No?
48:52But he would just say...
48:53He always talks you down, this fucker.
48:55What?
48:55Adam Egan.
48:56He has never let me think that he...
48:57He talks you down all the fucking time.
48:59That's okay.
49:00I'll be honest with you.
49:00Is that all right with you?
49:01He was always my favorite.
49:02Yeah, come on.
49:04You can forgive him?
49:05I can't get nothing.
49:05Come on, y'all ready to take a picture.
49:07Picture, baby.
49:08Yeah, I forget people that talk me down.
49:10Yeah.
49:10I love the fact that they talk about me good or bad, you know?
49:13All right, that's great.
49:14Talk about me.
49:14Because you're the equilibrium in the universe.
49:17He talks you down, I talk you up.
49:19So I got a balance between you.
49:20Yeah, baby.
49:21Okay.
49:22Yeah.
49:22You got love...
49:23Hey, everybody.
49:24You got love for me and disdain from him.
49:26But you still shake his hand, man.
49:28Yeah, love.
49:28Because you know forgiveness.
49:29I love for the universe.
49:29Let's take a picture, baby.
49:30I got love for the universe.
49:31I got love for the universe.
49:31The great Mike Tyson.
49:32Love for the universe, people.
49:33With the camera, I say love for the universe.
49:35We're going to take a picture live on TV.
49:37Love for the universe.
49:38The universe of people.
49:40That's beautiful.
49:41You should be a preacher.
49:42I'll tell you that, man.
49:43No, it's in the blood.
49:44It's in the blood.
49:44We're taking a picture, man.
49:46I'm the Muslim one.
49:47I'm the Muslim preacher.
49:49I'm the Muslim preacher.
49:50Muslim preacher.
49:51You go all over the world.
49:54And preach the Islamic gospel.
49:56That's right, baby.
49:57Ready, Mike?
49:58The great Mike Tyson.
50:00Thank you for being here, sir.
50:01I appreciate it.
50:02Very, very nice to be here.
50:03It's an honor to meet you.
50:05Thank you for being here.
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