- 7 hours ago
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00:02It was a long wedding.
00:05At least you could drink.
00:11Ubers keep cancelling on me and it is fucking devastating.
00:16Owen, your child is over there licking what I think is a used needle.
00:21Any thoughts?
00:28Mercury, do we need another tetanus jab?
00:36Would anyone like a ginseng gummy?
00:42It'll really help regulate your energy levels.
00:44No.
00:46I mean I've also got echinacea, milk thistle, ginger chews.
00:54Or I've got expired femme fresh wipes.
01:01No?
01:02Fine.
01:04I'm going to go and queue for a black hat.
01:19Hey, if you're worried about vaginal odour, I can send you a link to an amethyst suppository my friend Wave
01:27sells.
01:28I mean, it'll really help.
01:30So it's amethyst suppository?
01:33So like a stone tampon?
01:40Sorry, it does sound a bit medieval.
01:48Yeah, I guess it does.
01:51But it has helped a lot of women.
01:54I actually did a series of videos on the Vagina Earth Connection.
01:58Oh, okay, you're a filmmaker.
02:00No, no, God.
02:02No, I don't even own the television.
02:04No, I'm a light worker.
02:06But I primarily produce content for social media.
02:10I just found that that's the best way to reach people and connect with souls all around the world.
02:15Is that Eddie fucking Rushton?
02:18Oh my God, Whitney!
02:22A nun for Gretchen Wainers?
02:24Oh my God, buy one, get one!
02:26Where the piss have you two been?
02:29I've been haggless at Superstore for months.
02:31Hi, I'm Whitney.
02:33Congratulations.
02:34Sorry, Whit. This is Tony.
02:36Tony and Guy, drag queen to both the stars and the gutter.
02:40How are you, babe?
02:42I heard you got mercury poisoning.
02:44Did you eat too much tuna?
02:45No, not mercury. Lithium poisoning.
02:47You ate batteries?
02:49What have you been up to?
02:50Down the drag mines, as ever.
02:52I actually had this last-minute gig coming for tonight.
02:54I'd usually tell them to fuck off.
02:56But you don't say no to Barbie and Skipper, do you?
02:58Wait, wait, wait, what did you just say?
03:00Barbie and Skipper?
03:01Oh my God!
03:04We have a secret show at PEG.
03:05It's gonna be epic!
03:07Barbie and Skipper?
03:08Like the dolls?
03:09They're drag queens, but like, so much more.
03:12Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a podcast and books.
03:13And YouTube series that we used to watch on repeat.
03:15I still do!
03:16We always said if they ever came to London, but they never have.
03:18Because Skipper hates the accent!
03:20Oh my God!
03:21Please, get us together.
03:21Please, we have wanted to sit there for a year.
03:23Babe, do you have any idea how many fit men I have in my DMs right now asking me the
03:27same thing?
03:28No offence, but I'm not gonna pick the straight girls.
03:31Straight-ish.
03:31Come on, Tony, we'll do anything. I never made you settle your wet mouth tab.
03:35Hmm.
03:38Okay, look.
03:39I need this wig my friend Cher's been styling for me, but she's being a bitch and refusing to give
03:43me it.
03:43We can get your wig.
03:44We can?
03:49Oh, God, sorry. I just totally disrupted your flow.
03:54God, what a loser.
03:56No, I'm sorry, Whit. We're being a bit...
04:00It's just, this is kind of a dream of mine. An old dream, but...
04:05Won't we have to honour our old dreams to make space for new ones?
04:09That's beautiful, that.
04:11I know we had other plans today, and I was gonna start looking for a job.
04:14No.
04:15Listen, the only plan that matters is the universe's.
04:20He said, that's the address.
04:21All right. Watch out, though. Cher can be, how you say, a cunt.
04:29I'll need it by eight. If you're not there, I'll fish your dad.
04:34Good luck with ours. You'll have to uncreemate them first.
04:37Oh, is, is, is, is your dad?
04:39Yeah, yeah, yeah. He passed when I was 12.
04:44It's actually how we first connected.
04:48Oh, that's so lovely.
04:53Are you sure we can't just get the tube?
04:55This place is in, like, zone 10. I didn't even know that existed.
04:58It's Uber, then.
04:58You said it would be 80 quid. That's mad.
05:00We'll keep the spare car key in this stupid key-safe.
05:03We don't even need to knock on the door.
05:04Well, you don't want to give him a heads up.
05:06Just in case he thinks it's been stolen.
05:08Like, like, stolen by a stranger rather than a close friend.
05:11He won't care.
05:24So, you are a lightworker.
05:26I am.
05:28Which is what? Sorry, I don't know.
05:29Oh, yeah.
05:31It basically means that I have been put on this earth to spread light and eradicate darkness.
05:37Oh, wow. Okay.
05:38Yeah.
05:39Like Batman.
05:41No.
05:42He's changed the code. Shit.
05:44I thought this was a slam dunk.
05:46Okay.
05:46Uh, well, this is how Patrick Swayze does it in Dirty Dancing.
05:50So, we're just gonna...
05:51It's up here.
05:52Yes.
05:53Right.
05:53We're going.
05:56Oh.
05:56Oh.
05:57I'm okay. It's just...
05:58Oh.
05:59We're...
06:00Okay.
06:01Alright.
06:03Um, just, like, shield your eyes and I'll...
06:07What are you doing?
06:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
06:09Hey, violence is never the answer, Maggie.
06:11No.
06:12It's not violence if it's against a power, is it?
06:13It's just like...
06:15Oh!
06:16I didn't even smash anything!
06:17Excuse me.
06:18I'm afraid I have a weapon.
06:25Oh!
06:27Oh!
06:28Oh!
06:30Oh!
06:32You're...
06:34You're...
06:34You're back?
06:34Only just.
06:35Yesterday, actually.
06:36But I've been emailing you for a year.
06:39No.
06:39I'm off-grid.
06:40Out of the matrix.
06:41You don't have a phone?
06:43No.
06:43Oh.
06:44Well, I've had this very, um...
06:47Amish chic of you.
06:48It's not Amish to disengage from something that's literally killing people.
06:51Phones are killing people.
06:52They're worse for you than smoking.
06:55Hi.
06:55I'm Whitney.
06:56And you...
06:58You must be Will.
07:00Sorry, just back to the phone thing again.
07:03You have a phone.
07:04To serve my higher purpose of spreading light via social media.
07:08Otherwise, you know, I would throw this thing into the ocean.
07:11Trust me.
07:13Sorry.
07:14Were you breaking into my car?
07:16Can we borrow it?
07:17Just for the afternoon?
07:21Of course.
07:22Yeah.
07:23Sure.
07:34I'd love it if we could talk.
07:36Maybe when you, uh, bring out the car...
07:49So we all hate Will now, then?
07:52I don't hate anybody.
07:53Hate is a poison.
07:55I mean, the friction between the old and the new can often feel uncomfortable.
07:59Well, then, maybe the new should smooth itself out a bit.
08:01To liberty or Jehovah's.
08:03What?
08:04Because I've already had two Jehovah's up here this week.
08:06And I'm not being funny or not, but I don't think I'm for you.
08:09No, no, no.
08:10We're friends with Tony's.
08:11Tony and Guy, we came here to get her wig.
08:15Maybe she's coming down?
08:18Uh, Cher, sorry.
08:19We're actually in a bit of a hurry, so if you could just...
08:21If you think you can intimidate me, you're fucking wrong!
08:25I've got a taser in here that because of 3D printed,
08:28and I know how to use it...
08:31Stop throwing hairpins and just give us the wig!
08:33Did Tony tell you she's been shagging me stepdad?
08:36She's torn my family apart!
08:38My mother's had to go impatient!
08:41That's almost impossible to defend.
08:43Maybe if I try and talk to her one-on-one, I...
08:45Or I'd be happy to try.
08:47Um, no offence, Whitney, but I think you might be a bit too...
08:51American for someone like Cher.
08:53Well, Whitney should go.
08:54She's always so calm in the face of chaos.
08:55Okay, well, I should probably throw a hairdryer at you, but...
08:59Cher?
08:59My name's Whitney, and I'm a lightworker specializing in interpersonal relationships.
09:06May I come in?
09:13What's that?
09:21So, uh, you were saying earlier you were looking for a job.
09:24What about your, um, wet mouth money?
09:25I can't live off that forever.
09:27Besides, I need to save that for...
09:30I need to save that money.
09:34Is Whitney looking for a job, or...
09:36Does she make money off TikTok, or...?
09:38I knew you'd hate her.
09:39No, I just...
09:40Look, I know, she's kooky and different to you,
09:43and she might use words that you think are stupid,
09:45but Whitney has helped me so much.
09:49When we met, I, uh...
09:52I was in a really dark place.
09:56I was sat on a beach in Malibu, and I...
10:04I'm lucky to have found her.
10:07We've basically spent every day together since.
10:10Well then, I'm excited to get to know her better.
10:14Hold on.
10:16She's boxing up the wig for us.
10:18Aw, amazing!
10:19So, once we're back at the apartment,
10:20I just need to start the staging process straight away.
10:23Thanks, Cher.
10:24And sorry about your mum.
10:26Whitney's right.
10:27I need to let her go.
10:29Wow.
10:30And Whitney, you are just...
10:32so...
10:32impressive.
10:33Personally, if Tony had called me a cunt,
10:35I would struggle to get past that,
10:37but with the power of light, I guess anything is possible, so...
10:40What?
10:41Oh, I'm...
10:42I'm so sorry, did Whitney not say...
10:44Would I?
10:46That stepdad shagging rat at the gumption to call me a cunt!
10:50Come, Cher!
10:50Remember the grounding exercise I taught you?
10:53No, no, no!
10:55We don't need to be...
10:56Oh!
10:56We don't need to be...
10:57Oh!
10:57That's not my deli.
11:00No, not...
11:01Let's...
11:01Okay, put the lighters down!
11:02Cher!
11:03Oh!
11:03No, no, no, no!
11:05Cher!
11:06No!
11:07Oh, God!
11:08Have some of that.
11:24Crazy, did that?
11:32I'm so sorry, you guys.
11:36I just assumed Whitney until I shared the full truth, so.
11:41I'm such an idiot.
11:43So, no Barbie and Skipper?
11:47No, no, no. I'll get us in.
11:50How? Those tickets are like gold dust.
11:52It's prints at the roundhouse all over again.
11:56Yeah, I've many options, but first, I should probably just call my agent.
12:03Vanessa?
12:04You still with her?
12:05Oh, right. Yeah, after that dinner party, yeah, Betty told me all about it.
12:11Yeah, no, things are great.
12:13Well, there's actually, my new play has been shortlisted for an award, so.
12:16Really? Like a big one?
12:19Yeah, I'm like the biggest.
12:21Actually, I've never even longlisted before, so.
12:25Congratulations.
12:26Thanks.
12:28Let me just...
12:29Let me just...
12:34Hello?
12:35Maggie.
12:36I'm sorry, but this graveyard has terrible reception.
12:39Vanessa, hi.
12:40Hi, um, I'm just wondering if you could help me out. I'm trying to get tickets to this thing tonight.
12:44Okay.
12:44Yeah, um, it's a drag show, and, um, I don't know if you know anyone who works in that area,
12:53or...
12:57Sorry, Maggie, I couldn't hear you. There are people nearby grieving loudly. Did you say a drag show? Like a
13:03gay thing?
13:03Yes, very gay.
13:06Rupert could probably help.
13:07Rupert.
13:08Rupert Everett. He's an old friend. He'll be at the Mandalay Club from six, if you want to go and
13:13ask him. He doesn't take calls.
13:15Yeah, yeah, I know it well.
13:17I've come with you, but Hilary Mantle snuck a clause into her contract that I had to polish her gravestone
13:22once a month after her death. I'll send you the address.
13:25Oh, thank you so much, Vanessa.
13:30Done and done. We just need to go and schmooze Rupert Everett, and we'll be all gravy.
13:36Rupert Everett? Cool.
13:37That is cool.
13:39We can go get changed at Mind, and then head over to the Mandalay Club.
13:42Oh, we actually should go back to our apartment, because we kind of need to get settled and, like, freshen
13:50up.
13:50That's true.
13:51But we could meet you at this peg place later. Right, Mae?
13:58And you don't need us, do you?
13:59Of course. I'll have the Rupert.
14:06Oh, sorry.
14:07All right.
14:10Guess who back in the house? Heels click clack and about.
14:13Fine, fresh, feminine style, 211, I'm divine.
14:16So heavily, gentlemen, sweat and it's down.
14:18Scratch the board, no doubt.
14:19Body like, wow.
14:28Oh, hi. I'm, um, I'm Maggie Donovan.
14:41Oh, um, okay, thanks.
14:46I, um, all set.
14:48Ah, that'll be Maggie.
14:49Thank goodness you're here.
14:51Oh, here I am.
14:52Darling, they've arrived.
14:54Ah.
14:56You must be Maggie.
15:00You know, when Vanessa said she was sending you over, I thought, finally, somebody cares about me.
15:09Who?
15:11Now, you're a little bit, uh, little, though.
15:16We'll need to get the French maid's uniform altered.
15:18Don't start with that.
15:19No, wait, excuse me, darling.
15:22For trying to inject some glamour into the proceedings.
15:25Darling, behave.
15:26This is your third assistant this month.
15:27What?
15:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry.
15:29No, no, no.
15:30I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm actually a playwright.
15:32Oh, yes, darling.
15:33That's what they all say.
15:34The last one didn't like the costume either.
15:35You know, you just can't get the star.
15:39No, no, no, seriously, no, I'm just here to see if you can help me to get tickets for this
15:45thing tonight.
15:47You know, it's a teensy little bit early to be asking for favours, darling, but I admire your spunk.
15:55Oh.
15:55Come on, let's go and get a martini.
15:57All right.
16:00Now, I'm not a bad boss, Mandy.
16:03I, despite what the various court filings may say, I'm simply a world-renowned actor with a taste for the
16:11finer things in life.
16:12Is that a crime?
16:14Oh.
16:20Now, I do ask that my silk items be hand-washed by you in front of me.
16:27I love to watch.
16:28Look, I am not actually your average.
16:33Assistant, no, I am, I'm so much more.
16:35Ah.
16:36You're a perineal, my sirs.
16:38Sure.
16:39Um, but I also am just really on top of your schedule.
16:42In fact, you happen to have an appearance at Peg tonight, so we better get going.
16:46An appearance?
16:47At Peg?
16:48What's Peg?
16:49Oh, it's a really cool gay club.
16:51You will be introducing two drag queens at their show.
16:53Why the tit would I be doing that?
16:55I don't do appearances.
16:56I'm Rupert fucking Everett, darling.
16:58The fee is astronomical.
17:05Why didn't you say so before?
17:07Oh.
17:07Oh.
17:09He's fine.
17:11All right, good.
17:12Uptie.
17:24Good night, Rubio, the window.
17:26Bricks.
17:27Yes.
17:27Rubio, let's go.
17:30Oh.
17:30We are here.
17:32Oh, my God, bitch.
17:34Hi.
17:35Hi.
17:37Hey.
17:38Wonderful.
17:38Is this your dealer, darling?
17:41Do you have any Adderall?
17:43He's kidding.
17:44He's kidding, I think.
17:45We should just get him.
17:46Oh, my God.
17:47There you are.
17:48Getting a bit fine, babe.
17:50Where's the wig?
17:52Well, hello.
17:53Hello.
17:54Sorry, Tony.
17:55Cher wouldn't give a chance.
17:56She was just being very difficult.
17:58That little bitch.
18:00I'm sorry.
18:00I had to escort Rupert inside.
18:01He can't get out here with the crowns.
18:02The fucking neck of you, Chef Raya.
18:06Should I wait?
18:07It'll be fine.
18:08Hi.
18:08We just have a VIP with us, if we could just...
18:10Name?
18:11So we are not on the list, but I just know that Barbie and Skipper would want a gay icon
18:16of
18:16this caliber in the audience.
18:17Will somebody please give me a fucking upper?
18:20Are you joking?
18:21It really is him, but please just be cool.
18:23What have I told you about coming back here?
18:26Daddy needs his uppies.
18:27Oh, get him out of here before I call the police.
18:30Please.
18:30No, I think you were ever mistaken.
18:31This man's been terrorizing us for years.
18:33He's the reason that Stabber's got complex PTSD.
18:36You're in violation of about ten restraining orders, you utter fuckhead.
18:41Code Dharma.
18:42I repeat, Code Dharma at the front door.
18:45Code Dharma?
18:46Oh, my God.
18:47You set my fucking wig on fire!
18:49Yeah, and I'll do it again, because no one calls Sheriff Raya to touch and gets away with
18:55it.
18:55Why'd you tell him that, you villains?
18:57Friends, this is why everybody hates straight people!
19:02Straight-ish.
19:03She's not coming in.
19:04No shit.
19:04Fuck off, babes.
19:06And stay fucked off.
19:08How is he?
19:10Hey, friend, here, darling.
19:11Get to the fire at the house.
19:14Brian?
19:14Oh, my God!
19:15Brian!
19:16Oh, my God, you have to help us get it.
19:18We were...
19:24We are too old for this, Maggie.
19:27Today was insane, but this is not who I am anymore.
19:31I promise I have changed.
19:33You will see.
19:33I will show you.
19:37I think I can help.
19:40What?
19:42Well, I didn't want to say anything, but I thought, you know, maybe we'd need a plan C.
19:49So I reached out to my online community and the universe provided me with a DM from a guy
19:56whose mom owns this whole club.
19:59Look, there is no way that is some weirdo in his basement looking for attention.
20:03No, I think that's him now.
20:04Eddie!
20:07Eddie!
20:08Eddie!
20:11Neil!
20:12Neil!
20:12You know what?
20:13It's really you.
20:15I've been looking for you everywhere.
20:17I mean, not physically, but on Instagram.
20:19Oh, my God.
20:21This is me.
20:22Wait.
20:23You know each other?
20:27I saw something like this in your soul contract, remember?
20:31A cherished old friend would return to your life.
20:35Yeah.
20:36I had no idea it would be Grant.
20:38Listen, can you start Monday?
20:40What?
20:41Oh, my God.
20:42Look at me getting ahead of myself.
20:43I'm just so excited about this.
20:45Good luck.
20:46It's preordained.
20:47It is.
20:48It is.
20:49I love that.
20:51I love you.
20:52Oh, sorry.
20:53We just did a bump.
20:54Anyway, Mommy just bought Walthamstow and gave me a building, so I'm opening a bar and
21:00you get to manage it.
21:01Eddie!
21:02Oh, my God, it's...
21:04Sorry.
21:06Finding Eddie a job was our next step.
21:08Oh, amazing.
21:09Let's go inside and talk business.
21:13Eddie.
21:14God, this is such a blessing from the universe.
21:20No.
21:22Okay.
21:24Okay.
21:25Yeah.
21:26Sure.
21:26I knew you'd say yes.
21:28Okay, come with me.
21:29Oh, hey, guys.
21:30This is Eddie.
21:31My working class friend.
21:33Come on.
21:35Come on.
21:36You two men.
21:59Hey, Maggie.
22:00Sorry.
22:01It's...
22:01This isn't Will, is it?
22:02I blocked you years ago.
22:04Well, I got a new number.
22:06Look, don't hang up.
22:06It's about Whitney.
22:09What about her?
22:10Eddie sent me a few texts when she first got to L.A. and then went completely AWAR.
22:15Not a peep since then.
22:16And now, she reappears with this spiritual guru slash influencer.
22:23Something feels off.
22:25Okay, well, you're a nerd.
22:28Do some research.
22:29Dig up some dirt.
22:30Or something.
22:31I can do that.
22:33Piss off, princess.
22:34We're having a party.
22:40Suit yourself, some tits.
22:46Hurry, go!
22:48Hurry, go!
22:50Hurry, go!
22:50Hurry, go!
23:05Reach out
23:06When you're alone and you cannot stop
23:10Under control with the lights up
23:17Hold me close, you're not electrical
23:21Can you feel the music on your skin?
23:26Are you getting lost in the sight?
23:29Set your body free
23:35Set your body free
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