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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 2 Episode 1 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:00So you see what you're eating is not technically yogurt because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures
00:04It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness
00:08That's very interesting. It's also not pink and has no berries
00:14Yeah, but it doesn't really answer my question. What was your question again? Do you want some?
00:21Right no, I'm lactose intolerant right so gas yeah
00:25I got it good night
00:44What are you doing there's a draft
00:48I don't feel a draft
00:51Just go into your oh, yeah, you know, but maybe we should slow things down a little no, no
00:57I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast. No, I know I
01:01Know what you meant. It's just just only our first date. Yeah, okay sure. No problem
01:06Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there and then rate of
01:12speed equals distance over time
01:16It's all for our
01:19Or we could just wing it that might work too
01:24Good night, Leonard. Good night
01:31He's coming screen saver
01:38Oh, hey leonard how was your date bite me
01:45Sheldon
01:46How could you just sit there and let them spy on me they were clever leonard they exploited my complete
01:51lack of interest in what you were doing?
01:54You should thank us when future generations try to determine why your relationship with penny crashed and burned this right
02:01here is the black box
02:04What are you talking about the date went fine to it?
02:07She said she wants to slow things down
02:09Okay, so she said she wants to slow things down. It's like saying i'm really enjoying this meal
02:15I'm going to slow down and savor it
02:18No, it's like this fish tastes bad
02:23I'm gonna slow down and spit it out
02:27You being the fish not the fish
02:30Really did you make a second date?
02:32No, we sort of decided to wing it. Oh, even I know that's lame
02:37Okay, all right, let's assume your hypothesis we went to dinner we talked we laughed we kissed where could I
02:44have possibly gone wrong?
02:46Think back leonard the littlest things can set women off like hey the waitress is hot. I bet we could
02:51get her to come home with us
02:54How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what i'm getting into
02:58I didn't say anything like that good because they don't work
03:02They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate sadly that's my home run swing
03:08Look everything went fine. I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters
03:14A woman across the hall is into me
03:17Let's go to the tape
03:21Look at her reaction to the goodnight kiss no change in respiration pupils undilated no flushing of the chest nice
03:28close-up by the way
03:30Interesting her jaws are clenched no tongue access clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans
03:37That's not a bad sign
03:39Please you might as well have been to iguana with no dewlap enlargement
03:43And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there i'm not there because i'm taking things slow
03:50Which by the way compared to you guys approaches warp speed
03:55And take down that camera
03:59He was a lot more fun when he had no hope
04:05Give him time
04:07Our whole universe was in a hot dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way
04:14The earth began to cool the autotropes began to drew meanderthals developed tools we built a wall
04:19We built a pyramid
04:20It's mad science
04:21History unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang
04:38Hi
04:39Oh, hi penny
04:41FYI the hot water is inadequate on machine two so colors only and four is still releasing the fabric softener
04:47too early in the cycle
04:48So I'd avoid using that for your delicates. Thanks
04:54Oh, good lord. Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock?
05:05Sheldon, can I ask you a question?
05:07I would prefer that you not but I won't go so far as to forbid it
05:12All right, I heard yes, so
05:15Okay, here's my question has leonard ever dated
05:19You know a regular girl
05:22Well, I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity
05:27Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate
05:31No, I meant has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
05:36Oh, well a few years ago he did go out with a woman who had a phd in french literature
05:43How is that not a brainiac?
05:45Well for one thing she was french
05:50For another it was literature
05:59So
06:01Do you think that if leonard and I keep dating he'll eventually get bored with me
06:12That depends
06:13On what?
06:15Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics?
06:17No
06:18Do you speak klingon?
06:21No
06:22Do you know any card tricks?
06:24Okay
06:27I get it leonard has no business being involved with a waitress slash actress who felt so insecure that she
06:34lied to him about finishing community college
06:37Why would you lie about that?
06:38Well, he was going on and on about this college and that grad school and I
06:41I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser
06:45You thought the opposite of stupid loser was community college graduate?
06:54You know, there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates
06:59Yeah, but you were neither
07:03Right
07:04Okay, look this is between you and me you cannot tell leonard any of this
07:10You're asking me to keep a secret?
07:12Yeah
07:13Well, I'm sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret so that I could
07:18choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping
07:22You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis
07:27What?
07:29Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor
07:31One has to be concerned not only about what one says but about facial expressions autonomic reflexes
07:37When I try to deceive I myself have more nervous tics than a lyme disease research facility
07:48It's a joke it relies on the hominemic relationship between tick the blood-sucking arachnid and tick the involuntary muscular
07:55contraction
08:00I made it up myself
08:04Okay, look if leonard finds out that I lied I will absolutely die of embarrassment
08:09Physiologically impossible
08:11Sheldon, please
08:13Look, I'm asking you as a friend
08:16So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?
08:21Well, yeah
08:23Interesting
08:25One more question and perhaps I should have led with this when did we become friends?
08:32I.e. I couldn't become green lantern unless I was chosen by the guardians of oa
08:37But given enough startup capital and adequate research facility, I could be batman
08:45You could be batman
08:47Sure
08:48I'm batman
08:49See
08:52Hi guys
08:53Hey
08:54Hi, Penny
08:54Penny, if you're not doing anything friday night, I thought maybe we could go see a movie
09:00Oh, um, you know, I think I have the dinner shift on friday
09:03What about saturday?
09:05You know, I'm not sure the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet. How about I let you know?
09:09Great
09:10So you just let me know when you know
09:12Okay, so oh god, I am the bad fish
09:17What did I do wrong?
09:19Why are you asking me?
09:21I have no information about your interactions with penny other than what you've provided me
09:24Nor do I have any method of learning such things
09:30What does that mean?
09:31Nothing
09:32You seem to be implying an informational back channel between me and penny where obviously none exist
09:37No, I didn't
09:38I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things, sir
09:44What's going on with you?
09:45Well, I might ask you the same question
09:47Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me
09:51but exist between you and penny a person to whom I barely speak
10:03What's wrong with your face there's no reason to bring my looks into this
10:10Good day leonard what I said good day
10:18Good day
10:21Also today we have a fresh caught alaska salmon and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice our
10:27soup of the day
10:27You must release me from my oath
10:33Sheldon i'm working why don't you take a minute to decide
10:39I can't keep your secret penny i'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space
10:46Like a renaissance triptych
10:48Like a cheap suit
10:51Look why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret i'm constitutionally incapable
10:55That's why i was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship at a secret military super collider
11:01Located beneath a fake agricultural station 12.5 miles southeast of traverse city, michigan
11:11Which you did not hear about from me
11:15Look just forget i told you about mooney
11:18Not graduating from community college, okay forget you want me to forget this mind does not forget
11:24I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me
11:29It was a drizzly tuesday okay
11:32Look you promised me you would keep my secrets you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do
11:36it
11:38leonard i'm moving out
11:42What do you mean you're moving out why there doesn't have to be a reason
11:49Yeah, there kind of does not necessarily this is a classic example of munkhausen's trilemma either the reason is predicated
11:56on a series of
11:57Sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements or it's ultimately circular i
12:03.e.
12:03i'm moving out because i'm moving out
12:08I'm still confused leonard i don't see how i could have made it any simpler
12:13Hey, keska sup
12:16We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers and some of those skinless chicks were
12:24If you'll excuse me i'm going to pack
12:28That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia
12:34It's not you howard he says he's moving out
12:37What did you do?
12:39Did you change the contrast of brightness settings on the television?
12:43No, did you take a band-aid off in front of him?
12:46No, did you buy generic ketchup forget to rinse the sink talk to him through the bathroom door?
12:53Adjust the thermostat cook with cilantro pronounce the tea and often
13:00No, did you make fun of trains
13:05I didn't do anything he's just gone insane oh we all knew this day was coming
13:12That was fast it's my prepack disaster evacuation bag
13:18It's recommended by the department of homeland security and sarah connor
13:25Where are you gonna live until i find a permanent place i will stay with friends bye
13:35You can't stay with me i have a teeny tiny apartment excuse me but isn't hosting guests
13:41an aspect of manushya yajna one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the hindu householder
13:50I hate trains
13:58Don't be ridiculous you love trains
14:02Yes, I do come on
14:06See you later leonard
14:14This could work
14:25This is a very old building
14:2860 years used to be a watch factory
14:30uh-oh
14:31What don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials
14:37Not until now
14:40I can't believe i didn't bring my geiger counter
14:44You know i had it on my bed and i didn't pack it
14:47Well if you're not comfortable staying your shelter
14:49I'm kidding i packed it
14:52It was a joke
14:53See i was subverting the conversational expectations
14:56I believe they call that the uh
14:57old switcheroo
15:01Terrific
15:06Is that woman ashwarya rai
15:08Yes, isn't she an amazing actress
15:10Actually i'd say she's a poor man's madhuri dikshit
15:14How dare you
15:16ashwarya rai is a goddess
15:18By comparison madhuri dikshit is a leprous prostitute
15:24Sorry i didn't mean to offend you
15:28Obviously you're not that familiar with indian cinema
15:39Who is it
15:40Stripper grimm
15:47Tag you're it
15:50Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire
15:57I've never slept on an air mattress before
16:00No lumbar support whatsoever
16:04Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench
16:08I don't see anybody get a park bench in here
16:12Do you want to switch no that's fine i'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle
16:20Get out of bed we're switching
16:22But now only if you want to
16:23Just get in the bed
16:25What's going on are you boys roughhousing
16:31Just talking ma
16:33If you don't settle down right now i'm not gonna let you have any more sleepovers
16:41God's sake ma i'm 27 years old
16:45It's not even a school night
16:52Comfy now
16:53Meh
16:58A poster of Halle Berry's a little unnerving
17:03So don't look at it
17:05She's like my fourth favorite cat woman
17:07No kidding
17:08Yeah julie newmar michelle pfeiffer eartha kit and then her
17:12What about lee merriweather
17:14Oh i forgot about lee merriweather
17:16I'm glad that's settled
17:19That makes Halle Berry my fifth favorite cat woman
17:22It's julie newmar michelle pfeiffer eartha kit lee merriweather
17:26Please i'm begging you go to sleep
17:28I'm trying i'm counting cat women
17:36Guess you did make a fine mutant in the x-men movies though
17:38Oh for god's sake
17:39Which is not my favorite of the x-men in order that would be wolverine cyclops
17:43Oh wait i forgot professor x
17:44Professor x wolverine cyclops
17:46Iceman then storm angel the beat oh wait night crawler
17:51Professor x night crawler wolverine cyclops iceman then storm
17:56I'm coming
17:59Hey
18:02There he is they're my old buddy butt butt
18:12What's with him kuthrapali dumped him on me and he couldn't get to sleep so i gave him a glass
18:16of warm milk with a handful of my mom's valium in it
18:21But he still wouldn't shut up so tag you're it
18:29I'm back
18:32Still don't know why you left
18:33I can't tell you
18:35Why not
18:36I promised penny
18:39Promised penny what
18:41I wouldn't tell you the secret
18:47What secret tell me the secret
18:54Mom smokes in the car
18:58Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell dad
19:04Not that secret the other secret
19:07I'm batman
19:13You said penny told you a secret what's the secret okay i'll tell you but you can't tell leonard
19:21I promise
19:24Penny lied about graduating from community college because she's afraid she's not smart enough for leonard
19:34So it's nothing I did it's her problem
19:38I drank milk that tasted funny
19:44Penny thinks i'm too smart for her that's ridiculous i know
19:50Most of your work is extremely derivative
19:54Don't worry that's not a secret
19:57Everybody knows
20:04Hi
20:04Yeah, hi listen
20:05I know what's been bothering you about us and I have the answer what are you talking about first
20:10I want to say that it's not sheldon's fault
20:12He tried very hard to keep your secret if howard hadn't drugged him he would have taken it to his
20:16grave
20:18He told you yes, but it's okay now that we know what the problem is there's a simple solution
20:25Pasadena city college a place for fun a place for knowledge
20:33See this man here is playing hacky sack and this girl's gonna be a paralegal
20:39Well, I get it because dr leonard hofstetter can't date a girl without a fancy college degree
20:45Well, it's really not that fancy. It's just a city college
20:50Right, but I have to have some sort of degree to date you that doesn't matter to me at all
20:54So it's fine with you if i'm not smart absolutely
21:04Okay, this time I know where I went wrong
21:09Bite me
21:17Oh
21:21Oh
21:23Oh
21:24Oh
21:25Oh
21:25Oh
21:25Oh
21:27Oh
21:37Oh
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