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Watch How I Met Your Mother () The Best Burger in New York ( x265 Silence) E Season 4 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01Kids, when I first moved to New York, it was dingy, disgusting, dirty, ugly, flea-ridden,
00:08stinky, and altogether terrifying. But then, sadly, the whole city started to go uphill.
00:16The streets got a little cleaner, the rents got a little higher, and one by one, the crappy
00:21old places we loved began to disappear. The Elbow Room, an old punk rock club, became
00:27a drugstore. McHale's, a working-class watering hole, became a fast food place. And Fez,
00:34this awesome lounge at 85th and Broadway, became a bank. And not just any bank.
00:40Goliath National Bank, the world leader in credit and banking. God, I love Goliath National
00:46Bank.
00:47Okay, first of all, you look like the last pick in the draft. And second, why are you
00:51so excited about some bank?
00:53Our company just bought them out in a ruthless takeover.
00:55Took two months. Cost 2,000 jobs. Oh, it was brutal. Who wants a t-shirt?
01:04Hey, Marshall, they're hiring in the legal department. I could get you a job.
01:08Barney, Marshall didn't quit his last soul-sucking corporate job just to go work at a bank.
01:13He's gonna be an environmental lawyer.
01:16That was the plan, anyway. Over the next few weeks, Marshall went on a lot of interviews.
01:20You are confident. You are energetic. You are focused.
01:25A lot of interviews.
01:27You are flexible on salary. You're willing to compromise. You're not gonna cry this time.
01:34Too many interviews.
01:36You are sad. You are beaten down. You will get through this, come home, get in your big
01:44underpants, and take a nap. Which brings us to September 29th, the night of the burger.
01:51So, um, what do you guys want to do for dinner?
01:53Oh, we just got a new cook. You have to try the burger. It's amazing.
01:57Oh, great. We'll take five of those.
01:58Five burgers.
01:59Whoa, um, really? You want to eat here?
02:02Yeah, I'm freaking starving. I just finished a seven-day cleanse.
02:05I thought you just started there yesterday.
02:06I finished early, okay? Five of those. Five burgers.
02:10Whoa, um, wait. What about sushi?
02:12Oh, we had sushi last night.
02:13Italian.
02:14I had Italian for lunch.
02:15I can come back.
02:16No, we always do this. We spend an hour arguing about where to eat, and then we end up eating
02:20here anyway. I haven't eaten for two days. Can we please, for the love of God, just order
02:25something now.
02:28Chinese?
02:29Oh.
02:30I don't like Chinese.
02:31Indian?
02:32I just said I don't like Chinese.
02:34Indian isn't Chinese.
02:35Weird meets funny music cider rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
02:40Mexican?
02:41I just said I don't like Chinese.
02:43Oh.
02:58Robin, yours will be right out.
03:01Of course, wine comes last.
03:05Go ahead, start without me.
03:07Oh, you shouldn't have.
03:09Oh, thank you.
03:12Oh.
03:14Oh.
03:14Oh, my God.
03:16This burger is so good.
03:18It's like Christmas in my mouth.
03:20Meat Christmas.
03:22It's like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen at McLaren's where the chef killed
03:28it and ran it through the meat grinder.
03:30I love this burger so much, I love this burger so much, I want to sew my ass shut.
03:36It's okay.
03:37What are you?
03:39Guys, guys, guys, when you've had the best burger in New York City, every other burger
03:43tastes like my grandpa's feet.
03:45But you guys eat up, enjoy my grandpa's feet.
03:48Oh, and you've had the best burger in New York.
03:51No.
03:52It was eight years ago, my first week in New York, and for a kid from Minnesota, the big
03:58city was a scary place.
04:05Oh, thank God, it's just you.
04:07You are being ridiculous.
04:09Tell me you left the apartment today.
04:11Why would I have to leave?
04:12I can have anything I want delivered, and New York City cable is awesome.
04:15Have you seen this public access show with the old Jewish lady in a bikini?
04:18It's disgusting.
04:19Marshall, you have to get over this paranoia.
04:21You are not going to get mugged.
04:23Well, what if I do, Ted?
04:24All right, I don't have a switchblade.
04:25I don't know how to breakdance and win the begrudging respect of a street gang.
04:29All right, that's it.
04:30You're taking a walk.
04:30Come on, go.
04:31No.
04:32Look, the old lady in a bikini is back on.
04:33I'm just going to lie back and get comfortable.
04:35Go.
04:35Go outside.
04:36Go.
04:37Go.
04:37Okay.
04:42Leave the bat.
04:44Fine.
04:45So I went for a walk in the big, scary city, and I discovered something amazing.
04:50It wasn't scary at all.
04:52All right.
04:54What's the word?
04:55Tedder.
04:56Your son, she's over.
04:57And then, right when I started to get a little hungry, I turned a corner, and there it was.
05:06The tiniest little burger joint you ever saw, tucked between a taxidermist and a triple
05:11X bookstore.
05:12Name two places where things get stuffed.
05:17So, I went inside, and I ordered the burger.
06:06Ted, you've got to wake up.
06:07Ted, wake up.
06:10Oh, my God.
06:12I'm so sorry.
06:13Are you okay?
06:13All right.
06:16Ted, Ted, I've just had the most amazing burger of my life.
06:19It's this awesome little place.
06:21We just film it.
06:21It's there, so it's sort of like a celebrity hotspot.
06:23But the burger, Ted.
06:25The burger.
06:26Dude.
06:26Dude, I want one of those burgers right now.
06:28Do you think they're still open?
06:30I don't know.
06:30Does stuff in New York stay open past 9.30?
06:34So we went out to get another burger.
06:36But after hours of searching, damn it.
06:39Where is this place?
06:40You couldn't find it?
06:42We didn't know our way around.
06:43Just getting back to the apartment took us three hours and one very helpful drag queen.
06:46Wait, Penny Noir was a drag queen?
06:50Well, where do you think it was?
06:51Probably tucked between her legs.
06:55You know what's not a drag?
06:56Getting a home equity loan at Goliath National Bank.
06:59I'm just saying.
07:00Anyways, um, we never found the place.
07:03Now, eight years have passed.
07:04Still, no burger.
07:09I couldn't help but overhear.
07:11Okay, here we go.
07:13I know the place you're talking about.
07:14No, you don't.
07:15It's a place called the Corner Bistro.
07:18Great burger.
07:20Oh.
07:20Oh, the Corner Bistro.
07:23Huh.
07:23It's amazing.
07:24I spent a quarter of my life searching for the best burger in New York City.
07:27But silly me, it never occurred to me to check the highest rated burger in the Zagat Guide.
07:33Well, thanks a lot, guy.
07:34Let me return the favor.
07:36Um, great cup of coffee?
07:39Starbucks.
07:40Shh.
07:43So, I take it you've tried the Corner Bistro?
07:46Robin, I've tried every so-called best burger in New York City trying to find that burger.
07:53Or at least forget about her.
08:12We're going.
08:15Well, none of those places even came close.
08:17Hey, there was that one time we thought we had a break in the case, remember?
08:20Ah.
08:21Get this.
08:21You know who works out at my gym?
08:23Who?
08:23Regis Philbin.
08:25The autographed picture.
08:27Of course I remember the place.
08:29It was the best burger I ever had.
08:31I still have dreams about this burger.
08:34Beautiful, haunting dreams.
08:36I wake up at night screaming, get out of my head, burger.
08:39Get out.
08:40That's the one, Mr. Philbin.
08:42Do you remember where it is?
08:43No, I never wrote it down.
08:45But not a day goes by that I don't regret it.
08:49Why?
08:50Why, do you know where it is?
08:51And if you tell me it's at the corner bistro, I'm going to smack you right in the face.
08:55No, we don't, we don't know where it is.
08:56Listen, Blondie, don't mess with me.
08:59Daddy needs his meat.
09:01I don't know where it is, Regis, I swear.
09:04What about you, Lurch?
09:06And what about you, Satchel Mouth?
09:10This is my cell.
09:11You find that burger.
09:13You call me day or night.
09:14Okay, Regis, we will.
09:15We will.
09:16All right, so what are you waiting for?
09:17I'll get out and find the burger.
09:18All right, all right.
09:19Let's go.
09:22That's where my story ends.
09:24Now I'm doomed to walk the earth forever searching for that green door.
09:28That red neon sign that says burger.
09:31Green door, red neon sign that says burger?
09:34Yeah.
09:34I know that place.
09:35I've walked by it a million times.
09:36It's on West 12th right off of 7th.
09:39I knew it was on a numbered street.
09:41Oh, finally.
09:42No, Robin, if any of us is going to eat a burger tonight, it's going to be the best burger
09:47in New York.
09:48We're going downtown.
09:50No.
09:56I cannot believe we're finally going to have this burger.
09:59Honey, I'm so excited for you.
10:01After all these interviews, after all these disappointments,
10:04you deserve a triumphant mouthful of meat.
10:07You know what else is a mouthful?
10:09All that double talk other banks give you.
10:12At Goliath, customer satisfaction is our most important investment.
10:15Barney, I hate to break this to you, but working for a bank is kind of lame.
10:19Oh, yeah.
10:20How lame is free automatic bill pay, Lil?
10:23How lame is 3.3% APY online savings?
10:26Yeah, that's right.
10:28Hate to make you look stupid in front of your friends, but you left me no choice.
10:32Oh, um, we should probably call Regis.
10:35Regis?
10:36Oh, that guy scares me.
10:38I think I'll leave him a text.
10:39Now, Kathy, your last flip was heads.
10:42The one before that was tails.
10:44You polled the audience.
10:45They came out split 50-50.
10:47No help at all there.
10:48So, for $258,000, I have to ask you, Kathy, what's it going to be?
10:56Heads or...
11:00Excuse me.
11:02Oh, boy.
11:03I've got to go.
11:04I've got to go!
11:08Green door.
11:09Red neon sign.
11:10Guys, this is the place.
11:12Oh, no, no, no.
11:13I've actually, I've actually, um, I've prepared a few words.
11:15I won't eat your hand!
11:16Let's just go inside, then, shall we?
11:19You're welcome.
11:20Yours will be right up.
11:24Please go ahead and start.
11:26Oh, no.
11:27Just shut up and eat.
11:28Oh, God.
11:33Oh, my God.
11:34I'm never brushing my teeth again, unless it's with a toothbrush made from this burger.
11:39I think I just had my first burg-asm.
11:43I want to take this burger out to dinner, then maybe a movie, then take it back to my place.
11:52Put on a little Terrence Trent Darby, and then I will just fool around a little bit.
11:57Nothing serious.
11:58Just take it slow, you know?
12:00This isn't it.
12:02Marshall, that's not it.
12:04Hey, Marshall, you might not want to hear this, but is it at all possible this is the same burger
12:09you had eight years ago,
12:10only to never live up to your ridiculously high expectations?
12:12I mean, it is just a burger.
12:14Just a burger.
12:16Just a burger.
12:18Robin, it's so much more than just a burger.
12:22I mean, that first bite.
12:26Oh, what heaven that first bite is.
12:29The bun, like a sesame-freckled breast of an angel resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below,
12:36flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux.
12:39And then a pickle, the most playful little pickle.
12:48And then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a patty of ground beef.
12:54So exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savory, so delightful.
13:07This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin.
13:12This is God speaking to us through food.
13:18And you got our wedding vows off the internet.
13:23Okay, uh, look, so-so this-this isn't the place, all right?
13:27It's no big deal.
13:28It's, uh, it's another place with a green door and a red neon sign that says burger.
13:32I'll just, uh, I'll call every restaurant in Manhattan and ask them what color their door is.
13:37No big deal, right?
13:39Let's do this!
13:40Woo!
13:44I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this isn't just about a burger.
13:48Marcia's not doing so well, guys.
13:50He really needs to get a job.
13:52Tell them about the underpants.
13:54What about the underpants?
13:57Started a couple of weeks ago.
14:00Heads!
14:01It's gonna be heads!
14:02It's almost usually heads.
14:05Hey, baby.
14:06Hey!
14:08Did you put on pants today?
14:10Nope.
14:13It was funny at first.
14:15Then it became a daily thing.
14:17And I thought, okay, well, at least he's not leaving the house like that.
14:21And one day he opened the door to get the paper.
14:24The day after that, went downstairs to get the mail.
14:29Everyone's got an underpants radius.
14:31For most of us, it's the distance from the bedroom to the bathroom.
14:35But as your self-esteem gets smaller, your underpants radius gets bigger.
14:40How big is Marshall's underpants radius?
14:44We're going.
14:52Come on, Lily.
14:53He'll find a job eventually.
14:54You know, Lil, when times are tough, I like to remember the uplifting words of my favorite song.
14:59We'll be on your side when you need a friend.
15:04Through thick and thin, you can always depend
15:07On the world leaders in credit and banking.
15:14Goliath National Bank!
15:17Member FDIC.
15:20You've got to find Marshall that burger.
15:22Lily, I think we're all eating that burger.
15:24I'm not eating that burger.
15:25No, if Marshall says this isn't the burger, this isn't the burger.
15:28Finally.
15:29Excuse me.
15:30Yes.
15:31Did you guys change cooks or something?
15:33Because my husband was here a few years ago, and he's pretty sure he had a different...
15:37We get this a lot.
15:38This place is modeled after this other place uptown with the same green door and burger sign.
15:42What? Uptown? Where?
15:44106th and Manhattan Avenue.
15:50Damn it.
15:53106th. Unnumbered street, of course.
15:57Barney Stinson.
15:58Barney, where the hell are you?
16:01I'm sorry, this is...
16:03Regis, I'm at the place.
16:05Oh, Regis, of course.
16:06I'm sorry.
16:07I'm sorry.
16:08I'm sorry.
16:08I forgot to call you.
16:09That's not the place.
16:10The real place is on 106th and Manhattan Avenue.
16:12We're headed there right now.
16:13What?
16:14Uptown?
16:19Fine, fine.
16:20I'll be there in 20.
16:21If you get there first, medium rare?
16:24Onions?
16:25Onions?
16:26Okay, no onions.
16:28Stop the cab!
16:33Wait.
16:34This is it.
16:36Your search is over.
16:38We got girls taking off their folder.
16:40This is it.
16:51One of 9,000 convenient locations.
16:59It was right here.
17:01It was...
17:02It was right on this very spot.
17:04I don't understand.
17:05Where's the burger place?
17:06It's not a burger place anymore.
17:08It's a Goliath National Bank ATM.
17:09Well, that's fine.
17:10Let's just eat here.
17:11You can't eat here.
17:13It's an ATM.
17:15But...
17:15Food.
17:16Oh, my God.
17:17Ow, ow.
17:18Hey, what the...
17:18This is your fault, you and your stupid bank.
17:21You did this.
17:23Okay, ow.
17:24Stop it, Lily.
17:25I will never use a Goliath ATM ever again.
17:29Goliath National Bank sucks.
17:31It's the worst bank on the face of the earth.
17:34Attention, New Yorkers.
17:35This bank sucks.
17:37They suck.
17:38They suck, suck, suck.
17:39They suck, suck, suck.
17:40Tell her already.
17:41Tell me what.
17:44Tell me what.
17:46I got a job.
17:48What?
17:48Where?
17:50Goliath National Bank.
17:52That's why Barney's been going on and on about how great Goliath is.
17:55He wanted you to be excited for me since we're going to be working there together.
17:58Well, technically not together.
18:00You won't have access to my floor.
18:04But you want to be an environmental lawyer.
18:07Yeah.
18:07You know what?
18:07I also want to be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy.
18:10But in the meantime, I need a job.
18:13And this is a really good one.
18:15It's great pay.
18:16And there's good benefits.
18:19And to be honest, it gives me a reason to put on pants in the morning.
18:23You know, I had my whole life to save the planet.
18:25But right now, I'm kind of really excited to wear pants again.
18:29You've got great pants.
18:32I love you.
18:33I love you.
18:35Robin, no!
18:36What?
18:37What's going on open?
18:37Give it.
18:38They're going to barbecue.
18:39Give it!
18:40I'm sorry you didn't get your burger.
18:43It's stupid.
18:43I think about that first week in New York, you know?
18:46I was 22 years old.
18:48I have my whole future ahead of me.
18:51I guess I just kind of thought that if I could have that burger one more time,
18:55and feel that way for one more night,
18:57that I might be able to check that off the list and grow up,
19:01go work for the stupid bank, and just be happy.
19:05You know that burger place isn't gone.
19:07It just moved to a new location.
19:09And I can tell you where that is for a hundred bucks.
19:12A hundred bucks?
19:13That's crazy.
19:16Let's pay the man.
19:18Hello, I don't have any cash.
19:19I haven't worked since March.
19:21Oh, wow.
19:22If only there were an easy, convenient way to get some cash right now.
19:36Member of GIC.
19:39So we paid the guy, and 20 minutes later?
19:43All right, Marshall, remember, it might not taste as good.
19:46This place has changed, you've changed, New York has changed.
19:49Just, don't get your hopes up too high, okay?
20:03This is it.
20:04Yes!
20:05It's exactly the same.
20:07It's the best burger in New York.
20:09Come on, eat up, eat up.
20:11And so, after finally tasting again the burger he'd craved for so many years,
20:16Marshall got up the next morning, put on some pants,
20:19and went to work.
20:21And he never looked back.
20:25Mmm.
20:27I want to get tiny fitted sheets for this burger
20:30and just crawl into this bun and get all cozy and die there.
20:34Oh, my God.
20:36I just want you inside of me.
20:40This feels so good.
20:42I'm worried I'm going to get this burger pregnant.
20:45If he does get that burger pregnant,
20:47I have dibs on the delicious burger babies.
20:52This isn't it.
20:53What?
20:54No, he's not.
20:55No, he's not.
20:56That's outrageous.
20:57That is unbelievable.
21:00Wait.
21:01This is it.
21:02Yes!
21:02Oh!
21:04You are getting friggined.
21:05We just told them.
21:07Yes, sir.
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