Thriller. 30. Where The Action Is.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 8th February 1975.  A gambler is smuggled into a billionaire's house to undertake a gambling duel.  Edd Byrnes - Eddie Vallance James Berwick - 'Daddy' Burns Ingrid Pitt - Ilse Trevor Baxter - Winters George Innes - Zac Frank Coda - Pursell Oliver MacGreevy - Henry Larry Cross - Tommy Vaughan Suzanna Williams - Maid (as Suzannah Williams) Ray Marioni - Croupier John Berwick Patrick Magee

Transcript

00:00:00.

00:00:3510,000. All in.

00:00:3710,000 to you.

00:00:47I'm forced to see you.

00:00:52I guess I win.

00:00:55Full house, aces high.

00:01:11I guess you lose, Mr. Bourne.

00:01:18No, sir.

00:01:22Now, wait a minute, Burns. Come on!

00:01:25You know the house rules, Mr. Bourne.

00:01:29We explain them very carefully.

00:01:31We explain them very carefully.

00:02:00The odds are absolutely even.

00:02:06We spin the table, and when it stops, you pick up the gun nearest you and fire.

00:02:32There we go.

00:02:41We are not even above any cars.

00:02:42There a certain bottom line can go.

00:02:46I'm afraid, Mr. Vaughn, you lose again.

00:02:56No, please, Burns.

00:02:58Please, Burns.

00:02:59Still Burns.

00:03:00No.

00:03:21If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bad loser.

00:03:30If there's one thing you love, it's a winner.

00:03:34Eh, honeybunch?

00:03:38A winner.

00:04:01A winner.

00:04:13A winner.

00:04:14Four noirs per amont.

00:04:16A winner.

00:04:21Faites-vous-jeu, mesdames, messieurs?

00:04:23Faites-vous-jeu.

00:04:24Merci.

00:04:27Faites-vous-jeu?

00:04:28Faites-vous-jeu, et en avant-pouche?

00:04:41Faites-vous-jeu, mesdames, messieurs?

00:04:51Faites-vous-jeu, mesdames, messieurs?

00:05:15one more time please i'm sorry monsieur the house limit is one more time

00:05:45you can't win them all

00:05:58you like to gamble well it's my hobby and my business and your pleasure sometimes you

00:06:07gamble well because you know how to lose i learned the hard way i too like to gamble

00:06:14there are many games of chance many venues here the riviera my room you certainly have

00:06:22the advantage you have a stacked deck i like you mr valence my friends call me eddie

00:06:30eddie yes yes i like you good you fit well into the ambience of my room

00:06:37i don't remember saying yes to that i bet you

00:06:45that's the second time i've lost tonight

00:06:59do fix me a drink please vodka martini very dry vodka martini very dry coming up

00:07:18you know it's a good thing i didn't pick up that big bundle tonight why oh when a winner gets

00:07:23invited to a lady's room he's liable to end up minus his wallet if you would have won you would

00:07:28have refused me you're catching on i bet you wouldn't i wish you

00:07:37i wish you wouldn't keep betting on sure things it erodes my confidence

00:07:46very very very dry thank you i could say your health cheers or something but i think the

00:07:56traditional gamblers toast luck luck

00:08:07why me you're handsome come on now i'm not gonna buy that you're right if you were the ugliest man

00:08:16in

00:08:17the world it wouldn't have mattered because you are a gambler a good gambler and that excites me

00:08:23but luckily you are not the ugliest man in the world some of them are some of them you uh

00:08:31haven't touched a drink of course not the bottle was drunk they all are

00:08:55careful don't use him he's nice very nice

00:09:01i can't see you

00:09:05i can't see you

00:10:41Good morning, sir.

00:10:43Good morning.

00:10:49It's a jug of ice water.

00:10:50Right away.

00:10:52Mr. Burns went near the car until after lunch, so it's all right for you to start the service on

00:10:56it.

00:10:58Good morning, sir.

00:10:59And don't forget that the day after tomorrow he'll probably have the Forsters over.

00:11:03Probably want you to pick them up.

00:11:04Right.

00:11:40Hello.

00:11:41Hope you slept well.

00:11:42Slept?

00:11:43The pool is perfect this morning.

00:11:45Just right.

00:11:46Nice, sharp edge to the temperature.

00:11:48Now, wait a minute.

00:11:48See you for lunch.

00:12:16Good morning, sir.

00:12:18None too pleasant a day, is it?

00:12:20However, the forecast is sun.

00:12:23Worked, go wherever you want in the ground, sir.

00:12:25The pool's at the back if you care for a swim.

00:12:28I can get you some trunks if you want.

00:12:30Pool, did you say?

00:12:31Look, where am I?

00:12:32It's Mr. Burns' residence, sir.

00:12:34Listen, I was drugged.

00:12:35I was brought...

00:12:35You certainly slept very soon, sir.

00:12:37Burns?

00:12:39Walter Burns.

00:12:40Well, you tell Mr. Burns, thanks, but no thanks, huh?

00:12:43Stroll wherever you want on the ground, sir, but not outside.

00:12:45Who says?

00:12:47Mr. Burns, sir.

00:12:49Who is Mr. Burns?

00:12:51Probably one of the ten richest men in the world, sir.

00:12:54No, five richest.

00:12:57You mean I can walk around the grounds but not leave them, right?

00:13:00That's correct, sir.

00:13:02Is that a road over there?

00:13:04Yes, sir.

00:13:06So if I take off, I can be out of here in a couple of minutes.

00:13:08I wouldn't bet on it, sir, although I am a gambling man myself.

00:13:11If you care to have a flutter, I'll give you ten to one against.

00:13:16Who's going to stop me, you?

00:13:18No, sir.

00:13:21He is.

00:13:23Good morning, sir.

00:13:26He won't kill you, of course, sir.

00:13:28Probably a leg wound, just enough to disable you.

00:13:31We're not allowed to kill you, sir.

00:13:43I don't know if the colour is to your liking, sir, but it should certainly fit perfectly.

00:13:51Yes, well, what you're wearing is correct, of course, for the evening games.

00:13:55But I thought you might like something more casual during the day.

00:13:59Who care to give me your jacket later, sir?

00:14:00I'll refurbish it for you.

00:14:02Who are you?

00:14:03My name is Winters, sir.

00:14:05Winters, how did I get here?

00:14:06I think we both know that, sir.

00:14:08All right, then why?

00:14:09You are an honoured guest of Mr. Burns, sir.

00:14:12I never met anyone called Burns.

00:14:13But you will, sir.

00:14:14You can bet on it.

00:14:17And I'm not a guest around here.

00:14:18I'm a prisoner.

00:14:19You have the whole run of the house and grounds, sir.

00:14:22But not outside the grounds.

00:14:24You'll find it very pleasant here, sir.

00:14:26Everything you may want.

00:14:28No need to go outside.

00:14:32When do I get to meet Burns?

00:14:35I am going to meet him eventually.

00:14:36It's on the cards, yes.

00:14:39What kind of a man is he, anyway?

00:14:41He's a gambling man, sir.

00:14:44How long have you worked for him?

00:14:46I don't work for him, sir.

00:14:48Not exactly.

00:14:51I was a gambling man myself once.

00:14:54And?

00:14:55Came across Mr. Burns.

00:14:56And he won there.

00:14:58He won.

00:15:00Come on, we'll be late for lunch.

00:15:20Come on, we'll be late for lunch.

00:15:31Hey, you don't mind if I call you Eddie, do you?

00:15:34If you prefer Mr. Valens, then Mr. Valens it shall be.

00:15:38But I think Eddie's much friendlier, don't you?

00:15:42Now, you can call me Wally if you want.

00:15:44Or Mr. Burns.

00:15:45But most around here refer to me as Daddy.

00:15:49Nice, solid sound to it.

00:15:52I'm glad you could come, Eddie.

00:15:54Did I have an option?

00:15:56The drug drink?

00:15:58Just a little bit of gamesmanship, Eddie.

00:16:01That's the way to win, isn't it?

00:16:03Establish an ascendancy and hold on to it.

00:16:07Now, you're not going to hold any hard feelings about that, are you?

00:16:10No, of course not.

00:16:12But I do resent your marksman waiting to shoot holes in my legs.

00:16:15He'll say you were right.

00:16:17She's always right.

00:16:19Infallible.

00:16:20You and me are going to get along fine, Eddie.

00:16:23Oh, sit down.

00:16:24Oh, sit down, sit down.

00:16:26It's avocado and cold lobster.

00:16:29But if there's anything different you want, all you have to do is ask.

00:16:33You want a drink, Eddie?

00:16:35From a bottle with an unbroken seal.

00:16:39Vodka on the rocks.

00:16:40That's it, Eddie.

00:16:42Don't drink myself.

00:16:43Please, it's not before a game.

00:16:45Got to keep the brain cells clear.

00:16:48You like to roll some dice before we eat?

00:16:51No, thanks.

00:16:52Well, later.

00:16:54Then I thought, maybe a little backgammon.

00:16:56You do play backgammon, don't you?

00:17:00Some, yes.

00:17:02Ilsa tells me you have a cool nerve at the roulette table.

00:17:06Is that your main game?

00:17:08No.

00:17:10A card, man?

00:17:12Poker.

00:17:14Stud or draw?

00:17:17Stud.

00:17:19You have surpassed yourself, my dear Ilsa.

00:17:23Stud's my game, Eddie.

00:17:25My favorite game.

00:17:28I'm the best stud player in the world.

00:17:32I doubt that, Mr. Burns.

00:17:35You thinking of Tommy Vaughan?

00:17:38I was thinking of me.

00:17:44We'll have to put that to the test, Eddie.

00:17:46Yeah, we will.

00:17:48But later.

00:17:49First, I thought a little dice.

00:17:53Then maybe some, uh, backgammon or shemmy.

00:17:56I like to build to the real thing.

00:18:00Anticipate the big game.

00:18:02Maybe there won't be any big game.

00:18:05Maybe there won't be any game at all.

00:18:07You went to a lot of trouble to get me out here.

00:18:10Why not just send me an invitation?

00:18:12We weren't sure you'd come.

00:18:14We wanted you to come, Eddie.

00:18:39Henry got himself a rabbit.

00:18:41Overrun with him.

00:18:51We'll set the stakes at a hundred as a starter.

00:18:54Until you can feel your way.

00:18:57That's why you made your first mistake.

00:18:59Picking me up the way you did, I don't have much cash on me.

00:19:01It doesn't matter.

00:19:03My method of inviting you here was unconventional, I'll agree.

00:19:07But I'm prepared to pay for the pleasure of playing against you, Eddie.

00:19:11Payment in advance.

00:19:13That'll be your stake money.

00:19:18Must be thirty or forty thousand dollars there.

00:19:20Fifty thousand.

00:19:21I prefer to play with American dollars.

00:19:24I always feel that as Italian is to opera,

00:19:27the dollar is to gambling.

00:19:29An international language.

00:19:32Fifty thousand, huh?

00:19:34Don't worry.

00:19:36I'll bet you I'll win it all back from you.

00:19:39And he's never lost a bet yet.

00:19:45No more bets.

00:19:50Twenty-five red.

00:19:52Not running for you, Eddie?

00:19:54It isn't my money.

00:19:56This can't mean anything to you.

00:19:58Winning your own money back?

00:19:59It was your money.

00:20:00I paid you, remember?

00:20:03No more bets.

00:20:04Anyway, the intrinsic fact of money is not so vital.

00:20:08Just winning.

00:20:09Twenty-two, Black.

00:20:13Daddy.

00:20:14Hmm?

00:20:15Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:20:16It's late.

00:20:17Must all be tired.

00:20:19Besides, I don't want to clean you out right away.

00:20:22Spoil tomorrow's games.

00:20:25Oh, come on, Burns.

00:20:27Be a sport.

00:20:28One more time.

00:20:30Five thousand.

00:20:32You didn't formally close the game down, did you?

00:20:37All right.

00:20:53Twenty-six, Black.

00:21:02You're right, it is getting late.

00:21:05You can't win them all, Mr. Burns.

00:21:08But make sure you win the last one.

00:21:11Good night.

00:21:19Daddy, don't be so foolish.

00:21:21He's just the opposition we've been looking for.

00:21:27You were the rabbit.

00:21:29I, uh...

00:21:30I heard the shot.

00:21:33Tried to make a run for it, huh, Winters?

00:21:35You chose the wrong time.

00:21:37Night's the best time when there are plenty of shadows.

00:21:39And the dogs.

00:21:41Dogs?

00:21:42What dogs?

00:21:47Dibum and Pinsasa.

00:21:49Trained to kill.

00:21:54Nobody.

00:21:55Not even Mr. Burns would go out there at night.

00:21:58I don't blame him.

00:21:59There are other ways.

00:22:00I'll bet you...

00:22:01Yeah, I know.

00:22:02I know.

00:22:02You'll bet I don't make it.

00:22:04Getting out of here isn't like a hand of cards, Winters.

00:22:07Chance operates there.

00:22:08The unknown.

00:22:09Here it's a game of skill.

00:22:11A little luck comes into it, maybe.

00:22:12But mostly it's planning and knowing the hazards and how to beat them.

00:22:16Take me with you, sir.

00:22:18Right.

00:22:20I know all that is to know about this place.

00:22:22Yeah, I'm sure.

00:22:23I'll, uh...

00:22:24I'll let you know, huh?

00:22:26Thank you, sir.

00:22:32Good night, sir.

00:22:34Good night.

00:22:35Good night, madam.

00:22:39Well, I'm, uh...

00:22:40Not exactly dressed for receiving tonight.

00:22:43Oh, but you are.

00:22:48I thought you liked big gamblers.

00:22:50Winners.

00:22:51Only winners.

00:22:52Oh.

00:22:52And the biggest winner around here is Daddy Burns.

00:22:56So far.

00:22:58That's right.

00:23:00Absolutely right.

00:23:02Good night.

00:23:03Sleep well.

00:23:08Sleep well.

00:23:37Hey, that's not bad.

00:23:39Not bad?

00:23:40You can do it better, I suppose.

00:23:42Naturally.

00:23:43I imagine I could swim this pool five or six times underwater.

00:23:47I bet you.

00:23:48Yeah?

00:23:49What do you want to bet?

00:23:52Something nice.

00:23:54Hmm.

00:23:55Promises, promises.

00:24:04What do you want to bet?

00:24:08What do you want to bet?

00:24:14What do you want to bet?

00:24:18What do you want to bet?

00:24:19What do you want to bet?

00:24:20What do you want to bet?

00:24:21What do you want to bet?

00:24:22What do you want to bet?

00:24:26What do you want to bet?

00:24:27Okay, something nice, you said.

00:24:29Some people say the nicest thing about me is my smile.

00:24:32I didn't say.

00:24:35Eddie, how long do you think you could stay underwater?

00:24:40I don't know, a couple of minutes, I guess.

00:24:42Suppose there was 10,000 riding on it.

00:24:45Well, that might increase my lung power, yes.

00:24:48Now, dear, Purcell here, he doesn't have your physique.

00:24:54But I'll bet you that 10,000 he could stay under longer.

00:24:59Okay.

00:25:00All right.

00:25:02You stay that side, Eddie.

00:25:04Mr. Burns, I don't think I...

00:25:05Trust me, trust me.

00:25:07But, Mr. Burns, I can't sw...

00:25:20Ready?

00:25:23Go.

00:25:25Go.

00:26:37You owe me $10,000.

00:26:52I told you he's the winner.

00:27:03Well, I guess that little win at the pool makes us even again, eh?

00:27:07You took me on the wheel last night.

00:27:09I took you at the pool.

00:27:12We're even.

00:27:13Not quite.

00:27:14I scored.

00:27:15You scored?

00:27:16What do you mean?

00:27:17I mean I want some valuable information about you.

00:27:20Always check out the house rules first.

00:27:22Rules?

00:27:23Just part of the game.

00:27:25It's luck that counts.

00:27:27The amateurs, yeah.

00:27:29Huh?

00:27:30Well, you gamble for fun with me.

00:27:31It's a business.

00:27:32I don't disbelieve in luck, but I don't rely on it.

00:27:35What do you rely on?

00:27:37My own skill.

00:27:39Knowledge of my opponent.

00:27:40Observation.

00:27:42Observation.

00:27:45I'll tell you what, Mr. Burns.

00:27:46I will bet you $10,000 if you don't know what kind of shoes you're wearing.

00:27:53Come on now.

00:27:53You're the big gambler.

00:27:55Ten grand.

00:27:56What kind of shoes?

00:28:01Suede polo boots.

00:28:02No, wrong.

00:28:03Brown leather lace-up with a wedged heel.

00:28:06I just want my ten grand back.

00:28:09Hey, wait a minute.

00:28:11These are black.

00:28:13Oh, and another thing.

00:28:14If you're gonna bluff, bluff with conviction.

00:28:43I thought you might need a sandwich, sir, as you missed most of lunch.

00:28:49That was superb, sir.

00:28:51But dangerous.

00:28:53You beat him.

00:28:54He can't bear to lose.

00:28:58Everybody loses sometimes, Winters.

00:28:59He can't lose.

00:29:01Don't you understand?

00:29:03He's psychologically incapable of losing.

00:29:11If we are going to escape, it ought to be tomorrow morning.

00:29:14They penned the dog soon after seven.

00:29:18It has to be tomorrow.

00:29:20Has to be?

00:29:20Yes.

00:29:22Tonight, it'll be show me your backgammon.

00:29:24But tomorrow, it'll be poker.

00:29:26Stud poker.

00:29:27He never loses at that.

00:29:29Well, maybe he hasn't had any stiff competition.

00:29:31Tommy Vaughn.

00:29:33Tommy Vaughn?

00:29:34Did he play here?

00:29:36Come on, Winters, did he play here?

00:29:38Yes, sir.

00:29:40I must ask him to forget that I said nothing.

00:29:52That was smart just now, ain't he?

00:29:55Smart.

00:29:57I enjoyed it.

00:29:58Well, if you enjoy losing $10,000, I can provide you pleasures for the rest of your life.

00:30:03No, it's not the money.

00:30:05It's the challenge.

00:30:08You're the nearest I've ever come to my style.

00:30:12Oh, I like to gamble, Eddie.

00:30:15Can't live without it.

00:30:17Roller the dice.

00:30:19Turn to regard.

00:30:21That attacks my adrenaline.

00:30:25That's when I know I'm alive.

00:30:30I almost lost that feeling, though.

00:30:33It was terrible.

00:30:35Like losing your lust for a pretty woman.

00:30:39Like being dead.

00:30:43It happened when I was 29.

00:30:46My father struck oil.

00:30:48Oh, up to then, the money was important.

00:30:51Necessary.

00:30:53But suddenly,

00:30:55I had so much money.

00:31:00That's when gambling lost that tang.

00:31:04I was like a heavyweight champion who could never lose.

00:31:09A hunter impervious to the lion.

00:31:14A hunter who would run out of game to hunt.

00:31:21Nah, it's not the money.

00:31:24It's the challenge.

00:31:28Finding someone I can pit myself against.

00:31:32Someone good and cunning.

00:31:36Someone like me.

00:31:39Someone like...

00:31:40Tommy Vaughn?

00:31:43Tommy Vaughn?

00:31:45Yeah, you mentioned him at lunch yesterday.

00:31:48Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:49Tommy Vaughn.

00:31:50If there were Olympics for stud poker,

00:31:52Tommy would take the gold medal.

00:31:54No.

00:31:56I would.

00:31:59Ah, you played against him then, huh?

00:32:02No, no, I haven't had the pleasure.

00:32:04But from what I hear,

00:32:07he wouldn't amount to much against me.

00:32:09Oh, I don't know about that.

00:32:10I know, Tommy.

00:32:12In fact,

00:32:13I'd arrange a meeting for you,

00:32:14except that

00:32:16he's dropped out of sight lately.

00:32:18No one's seen or heard of him in quite some time.

00:32:21Is that so?

00:32:22Mm-hmm.

00:32:23Yeah, yeah, well, you arrange that meeting

00:32:25just as soon as he turns up again.

00:32:44Not now.

00:32:47What's the matter?

00:32:51Tomorrow night after you've won.

00:32:57If you win.

00:33:06There's a matter of organisme here.

00:33:07How many people win.

00:33:08Yeah?

00:33:20Well, can you guess?

00:33:21maybe국in gloves.

00:33:22Have a few holiday notes.

00:33:22I'd like to have lemonade.

00:33:22I don't care.

00:33:24I don't care.

00:33:26I don't care.

00:33:27I'd like to go over my next day.

00:33:27What's going on?

00:33:28I'm going to look so far,

00:34:58How many?

00:35:00How many what, sir?

00:35:01How many are buried out there?

00:35:02Buried, sir?

00:35:05How many bodies?

00:35:07Three.

00:35:10Tommy Vaughn's one of them, isn't he?

00:35:12There's any witches!

00:35:21If they find out, I've told you.

00:35:23You want to get out of here, don't you?

00:35:26That's going to be tomorrow morning when they bring the dogs in.

00:35:49They sound ferocious, don't they?

00:35:52I can assure you their bite is far worse than their bark.

00:35:55Card.

00:35:56Zach's the only one who can handle them.

00:35:58Even he doesn't take any chances.

00:36:00Sniff.

00:36:03You're on a lucky streak, Eddie.

00:36:06And Shemmy is really my game.

00:36:08Mm-hmm.

00:36:09Take a break, shall we?

00:36:11More gamesmanship?

00:36:12You want to break up my game?

00:36:14Or my lucky streak, would you?

00:36:20Clumsy pool.

00:36:22I'm very sorry, sir.

00:36:24What's the matter, Winkers?

00:36:26Something on your mind?

00:36:27No, I'm...

00:36:28I'm very sorry, madam.

00:36:32Well, let's play, shall we?

00:36:36Thousand dollars.

00:36:37Come on, come on.

00:36:39Come on.

00:36:48Yeah, make it an early night.

00:36:50You'll need all the sleep you can get, Eddie.

00:36:53Tomorrow night, we'll be playing my game.

00:36:57I'm going to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

00:36:59Good night.

00:37:05Good night.

00:37:07Sleep well.

00:37:07Mm-hmm.

00:37:09Mm-hmm.

00:37:15Mm-hmm.

00:37:37Mm-hmm.

00:37:49Oh, my God.

00:37:52Mm-hmm.

00:37:54Mm-hmm.

00:37:55Mm-hmm.

00:38:00Mm-hmm.

00:39:17Which way are we going?

00:39:18Through the front door.

00:39:19Front door?

00:39:20But Henry, have a look.

00:39:21I'll take care of Henry.

00:39:23Does that thing work?

00:39:24If it didn't, I wouldn't be here.

00:39:26Get down the hallway and wait for me, all right?

00:39:43You won't make it.

00:39:47Darling, where's your confidence in me?

00:39:50I'll bet you this bracelet against the thousand dollars you don't make.

00:39:54Whatever turns you want.

00:39:57I'm going to take my bath.

00:39:59A very long bath.

00:40:03Yeah, you do that, baby.

00:40:33I'm going to take my bath.

00:40:41Okay, turn around.

00:40:44Come on.

00:40:47Now walk.

00:40:50Winters, let's go.

00:40:53Hey, look happy.

00:40:55Smile.

00:40:56It's a nice day.

00:41:18Morning, Eddie.

00:41:22Why?

00:41:23I'm very sorry, sir.

00:41:25I was offered a side bet.

00:41:26You wouldn't make it.

00:41:29It must be worth at least ten thousand dollars.

00:41:32I'm a betting man, sir.

00:41:33I couldn't turn it down.

00:41:38I forgot the best piece of advice my shrink ever gave me.

00:41:42Never gamble on a woman.

00:41:45You're angry with me.

00:41:46Angry?

00:41:47Why should I be angry?

00:41:49All you did was stop me from getting out of here.

00:41:52You are angry.

00:41:54You know, Eddie, I would have been sorry to lose you.

00:41:57The big game is tonight.

00:42:00You lose well, don't you?

00:42:03That's the first thing I said to you.

00:42:05You really know how to lose.

00:42:08Only I'm not so sure you know how to win.

00:42:36I'm not so sure you know how to win.

00:43:08I'm not so sure you know how to win.

00:43:36Let's go.

00:43:37Shut up, Bruno!

00:43:48by the way eddie daddy burns insists on form aware for the big game does he now well we won't

00:43:54disappoint daddy burns will we we die in first and then the game starts all right yeah fine i don't

00:44:00have any plans oh eddie if you do win i um please don't over excite me i'm liable to lose

00:44:09my

00:44:09concentration i hope you do win

00:44:44so

00:44:50so

00:44:55so

00:44:57so

00:45:01so

00:45:02Oh, my God.

00:45:33Oh, my God.

00:46:02He had that other five, four of a kind.

00:46:05Took me for two million dollars that night.

00:46:08And I got my revenge.

00:46:10And my money back.

00:46:12A couple of weeks later, he came and played me here.

00:46:14I took the pants off him.

00:46:17And now he's buried in the garden.

00:46:25What is this?

00:46:26It's awfully sweet.

00:46:28Think so, honey?

00:46:29Well, we change it.

00:46:31Tonight, we change everything.

00:46:36You haven't been too nice to me lately, honey.

00:46:40I don't like it when you're not too nice to me.

00:46:42You know that?

00:46:43I like you to be too nice to me.

00:46:46Well, maybe a big win will turn the trick, huh?

00:46:49Yeah.

00:46:49I mean, after all, Bilsa loves a big winner, don't you?

00:46:54She's got to love me after tonight's game.

00:46:56Or me.

00:46:58At least the odds are even.

00:47:00Even.

00:47:01Here.

00:47:02Yeah, they're even.

00:47:07Well, I'm ready to play poker.

00:47:10How about you, mister?

00:47:18You trust me, then?

00:47:20Not particularly.

00:47:22Just so you don't question the house rules.

00:47:25Stud poker, cut deck, seven to eights, high or low.

00:47:28No limit.

00:47:29What do you think?

00:47:30I think for a poker player, you talk too much.

00:47:34Cut the deck.

00:47:53I'll open for a hundred.

00:47:55Kind of cautious, aren't you, Eddie?

00:47:58So was Mithras.

00:47:59Mithras?

00:48:00Where does he play?

00:48:02Crete, around 1200 B.C.

00:48:05He was cautious, too, up front.

00:48:07Ended up taking the whole island.

00:48:09You're talking about war.

00:48:12That's right.

00:48:28All right, deal.

00:48:36All right, deal.

00:48:38Five hundred.

00:48:39You didn't look at your whole card.

00:48:41I'm feeling lucky.

00:48:42What about you?

00:49:03Five hundred.

00:49:08Five hundred.

00:49:23Six hundred.

00:49:25Six hundred.

00:49:33Here's six hundred.

00:49:36And up a thousand.

00:49:39A thousand to you.

00:50:00Now, let's get some real action.

00:50:04Two thousand.

00:50:05Two thousand to you.

00:50:12You're two thousand.

00:50:15Two thousand.

00:50:16And up four thousand.

00:50:20Four thousand.

00:50:22Well, let's see what you're really made of.

00:50:26You're four thousand.

00:50:30And up ten thousand.

00:50:36Ten thousand to you.

00:50:39Getting a bit too rich for your blood, mister.

00:50:42No, this hand is just crying out to be played.

00:50:53You're ten thousand.

00:50:58And up.

00:51:01Twenty.

00:51:03Twenty thousand to see.

00:51:05See?

00:51:07I don't want to see that garbage he's holding.

00:51:11Well, you're, uh, you're 20,000.

00:51:19And raise 20,000.

00:51:29Oh, you kill me, Burns.

00:51:33Here's eight thousand.

00:51:36I'll give you my marker for the additional twelve.

00:51:38We don't take markers here, Valance.

00:51:39My bank will verify it.

00:51:40No markers.

00:51:43But we'll consider kind.

00:51:46Kind?

00:51:46What are you talking about?

00:51:47All I've got is my clothes and a watch that's probably worth it.

00:51:49Something better than that, Valance.

00:51:53You've got you.

00:51:58Come on, Valance, you're a gambler.

00:52:01Not as good as me, maybe, but a gambler just the same.

00:52:05Now, how many times have you heard a gambler say,

00:52:07I'll stake my life on it?

00:52:10How many times have you said it?

00:52:13Hell, I must have said it a hundred times myself.

00:52:16But on three occasions, he meant it.

00:52:21You have said that.

00:52:24Sure, it's a figure of speech.

00:52:26Nobody actually means it.

00:52:27In this house, it isn't.

00:52:29Here, we mean it.

00:52:31I'll take the clothes and the watch.

00:52:33And you as collateral.

00:52:41What am I worth?

00:52:44A million dollars.

00:52:47That's what you're worth to me.

00:52:51If you win, you walk away with the pot and a million.

00:52:56Hmm.

00:52:57And if I lose?

00:52:59Then it's your life.

00:53:01Or mine.

00:53:03Another little gamble we haven't told you about yet.

00:53:06But you still get a chance.

00:53:08That's right.

00:53:09It's an even money bet, Valance.

00:53:12What do you say?

00:53:14You run a hell of a game, Mr. Burns.

00:53:17The ultimate climax for somebody who has so much money he can never lose.

00:53:23You got it, Valance.

00:53:25It's the only kick left.

00:53:28I like the win, Valance.

00:53:30I always do.

00:53:32But what's the thrill of winning without the chance of losing?

00:53:37You or me?

00:53:40What do you say?

00:53:4820,000 and raise 20.

00:53:57I'll raise 100,000.

00:54:00100,000 to see.

00:54:01That's a lot of money.

00:54:02Well, you can afford it.

00:54:04You're gambling with a million dollar stake now.

00:54:07And my life.

00:54:13100,000 and raise 100,000.

00:54:18In that case, I raise 200,000.

00:54:23The suspense is killing me.

00:54:25I'll see you for the 200,000.

00:54:52So it all comes back to Daddy.

00:55:07You're cool, Eddie.

00:55:10But I wonder if you'll be so cool with the next little game I've dreamed up.

00:55:14The final game.

00:55:20Two guns.

00:55:22Both are loaded.

00:55:23One with real bullets and one with blanks.

00:55:26We spin the table and you pick up the gun nearest you and fire.

00:55:30I said it was an even chance.

00:55:33It's better than even because you get first shot.

00:55:37That's right.

00:55:38And he takes the same chance as you do.

00:55:41The same risk.

00:55:42Those are the house rules, Valance.

00:55:45So simple, there can't be any question now, can there?

00:55:49Mm-hmm.

00:55:51I, uh, I like examining the deck before I play.

00:56:07This has got to be good.

00:56:09The others usually panic.

00:56:12Like Tommy Vaughn?

00:56:14Steel nerves at a poker table, but any hint of violence in Tommy broke up.

00:56:18Broke up?

00:56:20He cowered.

00:56:22Begged.

00:56:24I won't give you the same pleasure.

00:56:28No, I don't think you will.

00:56:50I don't think you will.

00:56:50You can stay for it.

00:56:55And I'm sorry.

00:57:04I don't know.

00:57:30No, I guess you won't beg.

00:57:45Go ahead, Wally. It's your turn to fire.

00:57:51Come on. It's your shot.

00:57:55Well, go on. You can still win.

00:57:59No, no, no. He won't pull the trigger.

00:58:02Then they'd know.

00:58:04They'd know that Daddy Burns, the world's greatest gambler, is a cheat.

00:58:11That's right. Both guns are loaded with blanks.

00:58:15The real ones are just tricked up to look real, but anybody that's familiar with guns can tell from the

00:58:19weight that they're just blanks.

00:58:21Blanks that make a nice big noise to cover Zach here when he shoots him from behind with this.

00:58:29It isn't true.

00:58:32It isn't true.

00:58:34Tell him it isn't true.

00:58:36Deny it.

00:58:38Show him.

00:58:39Show him.

00:58:43You cheat.

00:58:49Cheat.

00:58:53Cheat.

00:58:59That's not all he cheats at.

00:59:03I've had you psyched out since our second game.

00:59:11Your life against mine, Burns? Come on.

00:59:15Your life against Tommy Vaughn's.

00:59:18Who are you?

00:59:20Eddie Valance, professional gambler.

00:59:23I'm also a patient man.

00:59:25Patience is a good virtue for gamblers to have.

00:59:28It's also good for a detective.

00:59:29Detective?

00:59:30And you didn't pick me up, sweetheart.

00:59:32I've been onto you for weeks.

00:59:34That's right. I found you.

00:59:36I'll collect the fee from Vaughn's estate.

00:59:39But that doesn't matter.

00:59:41Tommy happened to be a damn good friend of mine.

00:59:44He played sweet stud, met his debts, and never cheated his entire life.

00:59:47You cheat.

01:00:02I'm going to kill you, Valance.

01:00:05You don't have the nerve.

01:00:11Besides, you're running out of friends.

01:00:14Zack, maybe, but the others are seeing something in you they didn't know existed before.

01:00:18They'll do as I say.

01:00:20They'll kill you.

01:00:22Because the price on you still stands.

01:00:25One million dollars.

01:00:28I was going to pass that up, eh?

01:00:31A million dollars.

01:00:33Why, they'll tear you limb from limb to get a piece of the action.

01:00:38I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but you're too late.

01:00:42You don't think I've played this game single-handed, do you?

01:00:46Without an ace in the hole?

01:00:49Hmm?

01:00:51Get your clown off me and I'll show you what I mean.

01:00:54All right.

01:01:03Everything that's been said here tonight has been overheard, recorded.

01:01:09Come on.

01:01:16After he produced that gun, he went through everything with a fine-tooth comb.

01:01:19Yeah.

01:01:20Yeah, that's right.

01:01:21This is just some cheap plastic toy he's tricked up.

01:01:25This is no transmitter, isn't it?

01:01:30You're bluffing.

01:01:33Well, then call me.

01:01:35A pickup car is less than a half a mile away.

01:01:38A direct line to the police.

01:01:41Nah, Burns.

01:01:42They're going to put you away.

01:01:44This is one scene you're not going to buy your way out of.

01:01:47They're going to put you away behind bars because any minute now, the police are going to come right...

01:01:51Stabby-ah!

01:01:56You are bluffing.

01:02:00Are you sure?

01:02:03I don't hear any sirens.

01:02:05Sirens?

01:02:06To tip you off?

01:02:09No, Burns, the police aren't going to do that.

01:02:12They're going to surround your grounds, break in, and probably shoot you down without warning.

01:02:17You're bluffing.

01:02:18He's bluffing.

01:02:19I'm sure you're right, Mr. Burns.

01:02:21But if not, we don't have much time.

01:02:22I tell you, he's bluffing.

01:02:24I'm a gambling man.

01:02:26I always win.

01:02:28Only this time you'll have to play it straight without cheating.

01:02:31I tell you, he's bluffing.

01:02:34There's nobody out there.

01:02:36Nobody.

01:02:37Nobody.

01:02:41All right.

01:02:43I'll prove it to you.

01:02:46It's the birds.

01:02:48Dogs.

01:02:49Dogs.

01:03:00I suddenly got devalued.

01:03:02I'm not worth a million dollars anymore.

01:03:05So you were, bluffing.

01:03:10And you, my love, are an accessory to murder.

01:03:13You'll probably get at least ten years.

01:03:19You think so?

01:03:21Me and an all-male jury.

01:03:23You want a bet?

01:03:39You'll be right back.

01:03:40You want a bet?

01:03:41You'll be right back.

01:03:51You'reitungo.

01:03:52Oh, my God.

01:04:28Oh, my God.

01:04:52Oh, my God.

01:05:23Oh, my God.

01:05:52Oh, my God.

01:06:24Oh, my God.

01:06:27Oh, my God.

01:07:11Oh, my God.

01:07:38Oh, my God.

01:08:07Oh, my God.

01:08:12Oh, my God.

01:08:40Oh, my God.

01:09:08Oh, my God.

01:10:03Oh, my God.

01:10:08Oh, my God.

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