South American George. (1941 film)

deaddogsdam

George Butters is a double for a South American opera singer.  George Formby - George Butters/Gilli Vanetti Linden Travers - Carole Dean Enid Stamp-Taylor - Frances Martinique Jacques Brown - Enrico Richardo Felix Aylmer - Mr. Appleby Ronald Shiner - Swifty Alf Goddard - Slappy Gus McNaughton - George White Mavis Villiers - Mts. Durrant Herbert Lomas - Mr. Butters Eric Clavering - Mr. Durrant Beatrice Varley - Mrs. Butters Frank Atkinson - Cab Driver Arthur Denton - Joe - Assistant Stage Manager Muriel George - Auntie Rita Grant - Barmaid Cameron Hall - House Manager Roddy Hughes - Doctor Charles Paton Norman Pierce Leonard Sharp - Hosiery Vendor Ben Williams - Hair-curling Demonstrator  Director - Marcel Varnel

Transcript

00:00:00The End

00:00:33The End

00:01:05The End

00:01:56Six flunkies

00:01:57On you go

00:01:58One, two, three, four

00:02:01Here

00:02:01Where's the other fella

00:02:02You can't come

00:02:03Who says so

00:02:04The big

00:02:04Fourteen days

00:02:06Where's the other extra

00:02:07In jail

00:02:07What do we do

00:02:08We must have six for the big scene

00:02:09Can I use one of the Connisters

00:02:10No you can't

00:02:11Get another extra

00:02:12Where am I going to find one

00:02:13At this time of the day

00:02:13Don't ask me

00:02:14Step outside and see if there's anyone

00:02:15Hang around the stage door

00:02:16Righto

00:02:20Any extras around here Bob

00:02:21I should try the boozer over there

00:02:23That's an idea

00:02:29Any of our boys in the other bar is it

00:02:30Not this afternoon

00:02:32And they won't be now

00:02:33We're just closing

00:02:34Must find a fella somewhere

00:02:35Miles

00:02:36Well I didn't order it

00:02:37But I might as well

00:02:48In town there is a little pub

00:02:50Which gives much satisfaction

00:02:52The boys don't go there for the beer

00:02:54The barmaid's the attraction

00:02:56Her age is oh well quite all that and more

00:02:59On Monday morning

00:03:00She knows her onions

00:03:02Take my tip

00:03:03She's heard the gypsies warning

00:03:05Not this side please

00:03:06Oh missus

00:03:08She lays on powder thick as crust

00:03:10I smacked her cheeks

00:03:11And how she fussed

00:03:13I couldn't see her face for dust

00:03:15The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:03:16She wears nice undies full of frills

00:03:19All silken lace and sausage frills

00:03:21And oh because I've paid the bills

00:03:23And seen them at the rose and crown

00:03:25There is a tavern in the town

00:03:28In the town

00:03:30And in that tavern there's a bus

00:03:3314 inches round

00:03:34She's got a figure fine and fair

00:03:36There's lots of it and some to spare

00:03:39He comes in here and goes out there

00:03:41The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:03:43She likes to think that you are hers

00:03:47And if you prove a quitter

00:03:49She'll cry into your glass of mild

00:03:52And turn it into bitter

00:03:53She'll have a little drink with you

00:03:56And make you nice and cosy

00:03:58But if you never count your change

00:04:00You'll make a hit with Rosie

00:04:02She always looks so very posh

00:04:04So many rings she wears

00:04:05By gosh she never has her hands to wash

00:04:08The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:04:10The pendant round her neck is great

00:04:12She's larger than a dinner plate

00:04:14She's gone round shouldered with the weight

00:04:16The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:04:18There is a tavern in the town

00:04:21In the town

00:04:22And in that tavern there's a lass

00:04:26In a glittering gown with jewellery

00:04:28She takes the bun

00:04:29Her earrings weigh quite half a ton

00:04:31She'll let me swing on them for fun

00:04:33The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:04:58There is a tavern in the town

00:05:01In the town

00:05:03And in that tavern there's a lass

00:05:06In a glittering gown

00:05:07If you should take her for a mug

00:05:09Or try to sneak a little hug

00:05:11She'll kick you in the bottle and jug

00:05:13Oh!

00:05:14The barmaid had the rose and crown

00:05:17I thought I told you not to come here

00:05:19Well I'd buy a drink if I could raise enough

00:05:21Go on get out of it

00:05:23Hey hey want a job?

00:05:25A job?

00:05:26What kind of a job?

00:05:27I can put you on at the opera house this afternoon

00:05:29You can?

00:05:30Yes you can do the night show too

00:05:31Ten bob for the two performances

00:05:32Is it all right?

00:05:33It's better than all right

00:05:35What do you want me to do?

00:05:36Sing what I've just sung now?

00:05:37Well be an opera

00:05:38Something a bit more shoy

00:05:39You won't have to sing at all

00:05:41I won't have to sing?

00:05:42Well what will I have to do?

00:06:17And the fool who is it?

00:06:18The fellow I picked up at the stage door

00:06:24Beg your pardon, missus.

00:06:27You like it clear?

00:06:29It's young George Butters.

00:06:30Aye?

00:06:31Here, take a look.

00:06:34Aye.

00:06:35On stage.

00:06:37This will break his father's heart.

00:06:38Ah.

00:06:39Of course, we've got to tell him.

00:06:46What are you trying to do, doing the show?

00:06:48But, Mr McGoon.

00:06:49Quiet!

00:06:50Get those close to the wardrobe, get your money and get out.

00:06:53Yes, but, Mr, I...

00:06:54Joe, get another extra for tonight's show.

00:06:56Yes, sir.

00:06:56But, Mr, look, give me what I was going to try extra.

00:06:59But, Mr, this is the first performance I've done.

00:07:01And you're last.

00:07:02Honest, Mr, I know I can make good stages in my blood.

00:07:04Then you must be anemic.

00:07:05Oh, don't ruin my career the first day it started.

00:07:09Yes, Miss Carroll.

00:07:15Good afternoon, Miss Carroll.

00:07:17Good afternoon.

00:07:18You don't mind me calling you Miss Carroll, do you?

00:07:21You see, that's all I've heard anybody call you round, do you?

00:07:24I mean, I don't know your mother and father's names, so it's...

00:07:26Shouldn't you be on?

00:07:27Well, that's just it.

00:07:29I've got the sack.

00:07:30The sack?

00:07:31I dropped my musket.

00:07:33And did that pick it up?

00:07:35See, fancy you.

00:07:36It broke.

00:07:37Miss Carroll, Mr. Vanetti's gramophone record.

00:07:40Oh, put them in his dressing room.

00:07:43Oh.

00:07:45I'm sorry, Miss Carroll.

00:07:46I was wondering if you could put a word in for me with Mr. Vanetti.

00:07:50Well, I'm afraid if...

00:07:51Well, you see, my auntie was at Mabel Bannerman, the gaitiest I, you remember?

00:07:55Well, she started in the chorus like I did today.

00:07:58Miss Carroll, will you have Mr. Vanetti sign his horse, perhaps?

00:08:00I will, right away.

00:08:02See, there's me auntie's house.

00:08:04There's 23 bedrooms and everything you want outside, and there's me auntie standing next

00:08:08to the fountain.

00:08:10He doesn't Mr. Vanetti sign his name nice.

00:08:13Well, I've got the family bug, you see.

00:08:16No, I mean, I've got the itch from me aunt.

00:08:19That's worse.

00:08:19What I mean, you know what I mean.

00:08:22I know what you mean, but the opera season finishes after tonight's performance.

00:08:25Yes, but there'll be another one and Mr. Vanetti might...

00:08:27Carol?

00:08:28Yes?

00:08:28Mr. Ricardo would like to see Mr. Vanetti after the matinee.

00:08:31All right, I'll tell him.

00:08:32Well, Mr. Vanetti might...

00:08:34Yes?

00:08:35Oh.

00:08:35I thought I told you to get those clothes off.

00:08:38Get them off immediately.

00:08:39Immediately?

00:08:40At once.

00:08:42But I hardly know the young lady.

00:08:44Upstairs.

00:08:51Oh!

00:08:52You're in love.

00:08:53Oh!

00:08:55Oh!

00:08:58Wow!

00:09:01Oh!

00:09:01Wow!

00:09:17Oh, lovely.

00:09:31Excuse me, mind your backs, please, Miss Cowell.

00:09:34For me?

00:09:35No, for him.

00:09:40I'm sorry, but Mr. Vanetti is very tired.

00:09:43He can't see anyone now.

00:09:48Excuse me.

00:09:52Mr. Vanetti won't... Oh, Mr. Riccardo, I expect he'll see you.

00:09:56You expect he'll see me? Well, that's very nice of him.

00:10:00Hey, Vanetti, I want to talk to you.

00:10:03Won't you sit down?

00:10:05I can sit down. If I sit down, I'll start to think, and if I start to think, I'll have

00:10:09a stroke.

00:10:09What's the matter? Is anything wrong?

00:10:11Yes, these flowers are wrong.

00:10:13The flowers?

00:10:13They should be lilies. The opera season passed peacefully away this afternoon.

00:10:19You must be crazy. This afternoon's the best house you ever had in your life.

00:10:22Yes, and the best things in life are free. That's what the house was. Free!

00:10:26Ever heard of passes? One for all, all for nothing?

00:10:29Passes? You mean the house was papered?

00:10:31Should have been distempered, too.

00:10:32Listen, in South America, Gilly Vanetti may be...

00:10:35But what they blow him over here isn't kisses.

00:10:38Oh, he's one of the greatest tenors in the world.

00:10:40You've got to think that. You're his press agent.

00:10:43But I'm the guy losing the money, and I'm entitled to think he's a stinkeroo!

00:10:52What's he say?

00:10:54Shall I leave out the swear word?

00:10:56Yes.

00:10:56Then he said absolutely nothing.

00:10:58But he can't say nothing to me like that!

00:11:00And there's no need to shout.

00:11:02There's no need to shout?

00:11:03When I'm being ruined every night, and twice on Saturdays, I'm entitled to shout!

00:11:09Mr. Ricardo, you look me in the face and say that behind my back.

00:11:13I tell you, Gilly Vanetti is a large bang.

00:11:15No, not a large bang.

00:11:17A huge blow-off.

00:11:18No, Gilly.

00:11:20The... the big shot!

00:11:22So what do I say, oi?

00:11:24Now look, Vanetti, I know you have a contract with me for next season.

00:11:27Si, si, my frown, it is a pig iron contract.

00:11:29No, cast iron.

00:11:31Cast pig, pig cast! What's the matter? Come off!

00:11:35Vanetti.

00:11:36I'm willing to let you off next season.

00:11:38Let's cut our losses.

00:11:39Call it a day.

00:11:40Tear up the contract.

00:11:41Forget all about it!

00:11:43You ask for me to tear up next season?

00:11:46Look.

00:11:49These are practice records I make for myself of all the songs I sing next season.

00:11:52You will see how good I sing.

00:11:55I play them. Callow!

00:11:56I won't listen.

00:11:57I play them!

00:11:59I won't listen!

00:12:00I play...

00:12:01Ah, my songbird.

00:12:06Gilly gilly, you know if you get excited your voice goes.

00:12:09You are right.

00:12:10Then it is after this night's performance, yes?

00:12:12No, not till we get to Las Palmas.

00:12:14Oh, in Glasgow you say when we get to Manchester.

00:12:17In Manchester you say when we get to London.

00:12:20In London is when you get to Las Palmas.

00:12:22What could be fairer than that?

00:12:25I'm trying very hard to keep my sanity.

00:12:28For if I have to stay here another moment I shall be a shrieking imbecile!

00:12:35What's the matter with him?

00:12:37He has the wasp in the hat.

00:12:38A bee in his bonnet.

00:12:40Now we eat.

00:12:41Tomorrow we sail for Las Palmas.

00:12:44Tomorrow?

00:12:45You can't go tomorrow, you've got a date.

00:12:47I do not give a fig for a date.

00:12:49But you've got to present your cheque to the actor's benevolent home.

00:12:52It's a most important appointment.

00:12:54I have only one important appointment.

00:12:56Las Palmas.

00:12:58But, but, Mr. Venetti, I...

00:13:00Goodbye, Miss Carroll.

00:13:01Oh, hello.

00:13:02See you later.

00:13:03But you must be here tomorrow.

00:13:03I won't be here later.

00:13:04I'll do as you go.

00:13:06George Buttigieg, you're going daft over a girl you've hardly met.

00:13:09Now what you gonna be, girl or career?

00:13:12Career.

00:13:13All right, so you're a lawyer, aren't you?

00:13:15Okay, then.

00:13:16If I want Venetti's contract broken, you break it.

00:13:19That's what I pay you for.

00:13:20Excuse me, mister.

00:13:22Well, what do you mean by drawing up a contract without an out?

00:13:25I know I wanted a cast iron one, but not if I want to break it.

00:13:30Listen, Appleby, I haven't got time to argue.

00:13:33You've got to find me some clause in his contract that allows me to tear it up.

00:13:39I'm not gonna pay him another 5,000 pounds.

00:13:43What do you want?

00:13:43Five shillings.

00:13:44Five shillings?

00:13:45Who are you?

00:13:46The soldier on the end of the line.

00:13:47What do you expect me to do, salute?

00:13:49No, but I thought you could help me.

00:13:50You see, when I came in here, they promised me ten shillings for two performances

00:13:53and they've only given me five.

00:13:55Well, have you done the two performances?

00:13:56Well, no, halfway through the first, I dropped my musket and they give me the sack.

00:14:00That's why you got five shillings.

00:14:02But I can't go unless I get ten shillings.

00:14:03What am I going to do?

00:14:05I'm dying.

00:14:06He's asking me riddles.

00:14:07But I've got to get another five shillings.

00:14:09Then go out and earn it!

00:14:11Come on.

00:14:12Here you are, sir.

00:14:13Buy a pair of silk stockings for you, young lady.

00:14:15Haven't got one.

00:14:16You buy a pair of these and you soon will have.

00:14:18Don't talk so duffy.

00:14:20Here it is.

00:14:20The curl is what he puts a kink into half the crown heads of Europe.

00:14:24It sets as it kinks as it waves as it curls.

00:14:27Now, inside the interiors, what do we find?

00:14:29Brown electrical batteries.

00:14:30The only hair curler that develops its own central heating.

00:14:34Now, I would like to demonstrate on one of you.

00:14:36Ah, you, madam.

00:14:37Not on me, you doubt.

00:14:38My old man likes me as I am.

00:14:41You, sir.

00:14:42Would you like wonderful curls?

00:14:44Not half I wouldn't.

00:14:48Ah, you, my friend.

00:14:50Now, in the interest of progress, you will demonstrate.

00:14:52All right.

00:14:53Is it worth half a crown?

00:14:54Half a crown?

00:14:55In the interest of progress.

00:14:58All right.

00:14:58Sit down.

00:15:01Now, you take the first Britannia waiver so.

00:15:05Then you coil a strand of the hair around the cylinder.

00:15:09And when you are satisfied that the coiling is tight enough,

00:15:12you bring the copper wire into position.

00:15:14And from the moment the copper wire is in position,

00:15:17the hair have started to curl.

00:15:19And so we find the results of the Britannia miracle waiver.

00:15:22A head of curls full.

00:15:24If he went down Bond Street,

00:15:26five pounds it would cost him.

00:15:28Hey, fancy.

00:15:30It works.

00:15:31The gentleman himself is astounded.

00:15:33Ah.

00:15:34Hey, mister.

00:15:34How do I get these out?

00:15:35Ah, that is where the Britannia waiver leads the world.

00:15:38They don't come out.

00:15:40They don't?

00:15:42Oh!

00:15:43I can't go home like this.

00:15:55George.

00:15:56Yes, Dad.

00:15:59Come here, George.

00:16:00Yes, Dad.

00:16:02Back later, aren't you?

00:16:03Yes, Dad.

00:16:04Come in.

00:16:05Yes, Dad.

00:16:08Yes, Dad.

00:16:10Yes, Dad.

00:16:10Hello, Mother.

00:16:10Hello, George.

00:16:13Good evening, George.

00:16:15Good evening, George.

00:16:16Well, did you get that vacuum cleaner job?

00:16:18Did you sell any?

00:16:19Well, yes and no, Dad.

00:16:21Yes and no?

00:16:22Well, yes, I didn't get the job and no, I didn't sell any.

00:16:27Then where have you been all afternoon?

00:16:29I went to several places looking for jobs.

00:16:31I went to a builders near Euston and I saw the foreman

00:16:34and I asked him could he give me a job and he said yes.

00:16:37He was looking for a smart, intelligent young man.

00:16:40Oh, well, what happened?

00:16:42He told me to go and find one for him.

00:16:45George Butters, it's my opinion you don't like going to work.

00:16:48Yes, I like going to work and I like coming away from work.

00:16:51It's that bit in between I don't like.

00:16:53George Butters, I tried to raise you the best I know how.

00:16:58I brought you up to be an honest-speaking, God-fearing young man.

00:17:01And I'd reckon without the family course.

00:17:04Honest?

00:17:04Be quiet, Mother.

00:17:06Do you deny that you've been displaying yourself brazenly on a stage this afternoon?

00:17:10With faint on his face.

00:17:12Aye.

00:17:13Oh, we've got a couple of loudspeakers now.

00:17:16Well, let me tell you I'd rather be on a stage than live in a place

00:17:19where there's a couple of narrow-minded tittle-tattlers.

00:17:21Yes, that's what you are, tittle-tattlers.

00:17:24Come, Jane.

00:17:25Aye.

00:17:27George, you didn't mean that.

00:17:28Yes, I did, Mother.

00:17:29Just because my auntie was on the stage, they're always picking on you.

00:17:31I've heard them.

00:17:32But nothing but a couple of nosy-parkering old humbugs.

00:17:38Yes.

00:17:39If that's the manners the stage teaches you, and take your hat off!

00:17:45Of course!

00:17:47Yes, Dad, I was...

00:17:49Have you gone mad altogether?

00:17:55You don't think I did anything wrong, do you, Mother?

00:17:58Of course not, lad.

00:18:00I mean, after all, I was only trying to earn some money at them and...

00:18:03Well, showing off them rotten wavers.

00:18:05They'll all come out with a good wash.

00:18:08At least, I hope so.

00:18:12Good morning, George.

00:18:14Morning, Mother.

00:18:14Oh, I thought it'd be a nice change for you.

00:18:21Hey, Mother!

00:18:22They're all out!

00:18:24George, lad.

00:18:26After last night, I don't think I should go to Fernlands today.

00:18:29What, not visit my auntie, Mother?

00:18:30What ever are you thinking about?

00:18:32I was only thinking of your father.

00:18:33If my Dad's got anything more to say, I'm gonna tell him straight.

00:18:36Oh?

00:18:36And who are you going to tell straight?

00:18:40The man at the lane bridge change.

00:18:42I'll...

00:18:42I'll tell you straight a photo with him.

00:18:59Hello, George.

00:19:00Hello, George, my boy.

00:19:01How's auntie?

00:19:02Oh, she's fine.

00:19:03But what's to do? They're all busy.

00:19:04Oh, they're busy rehearsing.

00:19:05They're putting on a show for Gillyvinetti, the opera star.

00:19:08Gillyvinetti?

00:19:08She's coming here this afternoon.

00:19:10What, to live?

00:19:10No, no.

00:19:11To give £500 of your home.

00:19:13Oh, George!

00:19:15Hello, auntie.

00:19:16I thought you'd forgotten me.

00:19:18You know, have I ever done that?

00:19:20My mother sent you that.

00:19:21And they used ten bob to buy some fillies.

00:19:23And I would buy them, too, if I thought anyone would see them.

00:19:26You cheeky fast cat.

00:19:29How's your mother?

00:19:29She's all right.

00:19:30And your father?

00:19:31I'm afraid he's all right, too.

00:19:33Now, you mustn't say that, George.

00:19:34Your father's a proper man.

00:19:35You know, sometimes the way he acts, I think, is a proper gump.

00:19:38Hey, up, look out!

00:19:44You're doing great.

00:19:47But it's out of date.

00:19:49It's quite a show.

00:19:51But it wouldn't go.

00:19:54It's nice and bright.

00:19:55Ooh!

00:19:56But it isn't right.

00:19:58Ooh!

00:19:58It's pretty slick.

00:20:00But it wouldn't click.

00:20:02There's just one thing.

00:20:04Even at your age, you'd be all the rage.

00:20:07Well, what's that thing?

00:20:09Though you're getting old, you could knock them cold.

00:20:11Well, what's that thing?

00:20:13If you want to come back, it's the thing that you like.

00:20:16Say, what's that thing?

00:20:18Why, just that thing, swing!

00:20:20Oh, you needn't start pushing up daisies, although you're 75.

00:20:25Swing, mama, swing, papa, keep yourself alive.

00:20:29Oh, you needn't go all to blazes, even though you're 81.

00:20:34Swing, sister, swing, mister, give yourself some fun.

00:20:39You want to cue a sciatica?

00:20:41Just shake it away.

00:20:43You don't need a rub, but a rub-a-dub-dub-dub.

00:20:46Watch that rhythm, take it away.

00:20:48Oh, you needn't be fast your heyday, although you are 95.

00:20:53Swing, mama, swing, papa, keep yourself alive.

00:21:10But it's a great disappointment to us, Miss Dean.

00:21:11We had hoped that the newspaper picture of Mr. Venetti handing over the cheque

00:21:15might start the ball rolling.

00:21:16I know, but he really had a most important engagement.

00:21:19Well, I'd be grateful if you'd explain to the old folks.

00:21:22They'd be very disappointed.

00:21:23Tell them he was detained by, for an affair of state.

00:21:25An affair?

00:21:26Oh, yes, sure I will.

00:21:32Oh, you needn't go rootin', tootin', even though you're 75.

00:21:38Swing, mama, swing, papa, keep yourself alive.

00:21:41And you needn't be highfalutin', even though you're 81.

00:21:47Swing, mister, swing, sister, give yourself some fun.

00:21:51Though you're alive and kickin' now, how long will you stay?

00:21:55Keep yourself young with the beat of the gong, and dance your blues away.

00:22:01It's a tonic, there's no disputin', even though you're 95.

00:22:05Swing, mama, swing, papa, keep yourself alive.

00:22:09You gotta swing.

00:22:11You gotta swing.

00:22:14You gotta swing.

00:22:14You gotta swing, mama.

00:22:16Swing, papa, keep yourself alive.

00:22:18Swing it.

00:22:21Oh, there's Miss Carol.

00:22:23Hello, Miss Carol.

00:22:24George, what on earth have you done your hair?

00:22:27Yeah.

00:22:29Oh, they've come back again.

00:22:31Oh, all that washing for nothing.

00:22:35Hello, Miss Carol.

00:22:36Take your hat off.

00:22:38Well, if you don't mind, it's a bit gone, it's, you know, it's...

00:22:43It's amazing.

00:22:44Yes, it is, isn't it?

00:22:45You see, it must be the heat of my hat that's brought them all back again.

00:22:48You're coming with me, young fellow.

00:22:51You too.

00:22:55Now sit there and don't move.

00:23:00Hey, hey, what do you think you're doing?

00:23:02You'll make me look like a mucky pup.

00:23:03You'll be a mucky pup.

00:23:04You'll be Gilly Vanetti ready to present his cheque.

00:23:07But, Miss D.

00:23:07Fetch your photographer and we'll get on with it.

00:23:10Of course.

00:23:11Hold that.

00:23:12You're doing this to help Fernlands and Vanetti too.

00:23:15Well, I don't mind helping a fellow that's down.

00:23:17Oh, I wouldn't call Vanetti down.

00:23:20That's because you don't know.

00:23:21Don't know what?

00:23:22He's going to lose his job.

00:23:24What are you talking about?

00:23:26Well, I heard the manager say he was going to find some way to break his contract.

00:23:30Oh, Ricardo said that, really?

00:23:34The photographer's outside.

00:23:36I think you'd better supervise this, Miss Dean.

00:23:38Right.

00:23:40That looks fine.

00:23:41Oh, don't touch it.

00:23:42I'll talk to you later.

00:23:43Now, how about some picturesque setting?

00:23:47Over there, by the fountain.

00:23:51And now, I've seen you, Vanetti will smile and hand over his cheque to the superintendent.

00:23:54I think you've got your picture.

00:23:56Okay, boys, anytime you like.

00:23:58Look out!

00:23:59Look out!

00:24:00Look out!

00:24:03When Gilly Vanetti, the celebrated opera star, was handing over a cheque for 500 pounds to the actor's benevolent home

00:24:10yesterday,

00:24:11there was an unfortunate accident.

00:24:13I couldn't be more pleased.

00:24:14I trust it damped his ardour?

00:24:17Later in the day, Mr. Vanetti left for Las Palmas.

00:24:20No, didn't damp his ardour.

00:24:22Wait a moment.

00:24:23Where did he leave for?

00:24:25Las Palmas?

00:24:26But that's most interesting.

00:24:28Do you know I believe Mr. Vanetti has found us the answer?

00:24:30I don't even know the question yet.

00:24:32The clause that breaks the contract.

00:24:34What?

00:24:35Las Palmas is in the Canary Islands.

00:24:38So what do you want me to do, sing?

00:24:39Now, listen.

00:24:40Clause 11 says the party of the second part shall not leave the United Kingdom without the consent in writing

00:24:48of the party of the first part.

00:24:50Clause 11.

00:24:52Miss Target?

00:24:53Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

00:24:54Get me Vanetti's flat.

00:24:56I think I got something there.

00:24:59You?

00:25:00But, Mr. Ricardo, if you remember, it was I.

00:25:03I don't know what I pay you for.

00:25:04I get all the ideas and...

00:25:06Hello? Hello?

00:25:07Carol?

00:25:07Oh, Carol!

00:25:09I wanted to talk to Vanetti.

00:25:12Vanetti?

00:25:13Oh, I'm afraid you can't.

00:25:14Was it anything important?

00:25:16Oh, nothing.

00:25:17So he's left for Las Palmas, has he?

00:25:20Has he?

00:25:21Has he left for Las Palmas?

00:25:22No.

00:25:23He's still here.

00:25:24He changed his mind at the last moment.

00:25:26What?

00:25:27Yes.

00:25:27Must have been a quick change.

00:25:30The papers have him on board the boat already.

00:25:32What?

00:25:33In bed?

00:25:34Arringitis?

00:25:35Oh, that's too bad.

00:25:38She's trying to cover off for him.

00:25:39Verbum set sepienti.

00:25:41Well, tell him to keep his temperature down.

00:25:43We'll be right over.

00:25:45Oh, but he mustn't see anybody.

00:25:46Oh, well...

00:25:53Who is it?

00:25:54A tablegram for Miss Dean.

00:26:00Is there any answer?

00:26:01Yes.

00:26:02Yippee!

00:26:09Hold water.

00:26:10Don't let anyone come up here without ringing me.

00:26:13Signor Vanetti?

00:26:18Signor Bonetti, we've both been very smart.

00:26:21Riccardo just phoned and he had clause 11 written all over his voice.

00:26:25He was asking questions about the Las Palmas trip.

00:26:27I think he's going to try and be clever, so don't be too long in that shower.

00:26:35I feel proper daft in this stuff.

00:26:38You know, if I fell down in this collar, I'd chop my ears off.

00:26:41Oh.

00:26:45Look at these.

00:26:46See, whiskers.

00:26:47Yes, Bonetti's.

00:26:48There's nothing happened to them, has there?

00:26:50No, I had them made up.

00:26:51Oh.

00:26:51Do you know how to put them on?

00:26:52Oh, yes, my auntie showed me.

00:26:54Well, go on, stick them.

00:26:56Stick them.

00:26:57Oh, stick them.

00:26:58Oh.

00:26:59Now, don't be long.

00:27:00Riccardo will be here any minute.

00:27:02Oh, it won't take me long.

00:27:04Who?

00:27:06Who did you say was coming?

00:27:08Mr. Riccardo.

00:27:09What, you don't mean the manager bloke?

00:27:11Yes.

00:27:11Oh, I don't feel so well.

00:27:13I don't think I can do it, Miss Carol.

00:27:15You can and you're going to.

00:27:17Where's the George who was willing to do anything for the old folks at Fernland?

00:27:21Well, I didn't know I'd have to sit around dressed up like, well, like Mr. Woo.

00:27:26Besides, we don't know if his nibs will give another 500 pounds.

00:27:29We do?

00:27:30Listen to this cable from Vanetti.

00:27:32Double idea or a knockdown stop will pay 500 pounds, pos-a-lutely.

00:27:36Whee, another 500.

00:27:37That's a thousand they'll have.

00:27:38Oh, ho, ho.

00:27:40Oh.

00:27:41I'm sorry, Miss Carol.

00:27:43I don't know how that happened.

00:27:44It must be the Jekyll and Hyde in me.

00:27:46Oh!

00:27:47Bygum, that's hot.

00:27:48Well, put the cozy on it.

00:27:52Yes?

00:27:54Yes?

00:27:55Thanks.

00:27:55What's to do?

00:27:56Riccardo's on his way up.

00:27:57Now put on your whiskers and hop into bed.

00:27:59And don't forget you're in bed with laryngitis.

00:28:01With who?

00:28:02With a sore throat.

00:28:03Oh.

00:28:03And remember, you're a very sick man.

00:28:05You can't talk.

00:28:06If they ask you anything, answer by sign.

00:28:09Heh.

00:28:09Don't worry, I'll be proper for Willie.

00:28:11Hurry up.

00:28:11I'll get your tea.

00:28:14I'm ready now.

00:28:26George, your hair!

00:28:30Oh, it's gone straight.

00:28:31Must have been the water.

00:28:33Ooh!

00:28:34What are we going to do?

00:28:36Well, they want to warm it up again.

00:28:37Haven't you got a gas oven and put me head in?

00:28:39Oh, George, why did you have to go and get it wet?

00:28:41Well, I'm sorry, Miss Carol.

00:28:43I know, I can put me hat on.

00:28:45What, in bed?

00:28:47Ooh!

00:28:50I'll have to keep them out of here, that's all.

00:28:52Now, for the love of my, keep quiet.

00:28:54Oh.

00:28:55Could I have me cup of tea?

00:28:57Yes.

00:28:59Not a sound.

00:29:01Stay where you are and don't thirst.

00:29:04Oh, what's it to do?

00:29:14Must you make so much noise when Eddie's asleep?

00:29:17Well, I want to see him.

00:29:18The doctor said he wasn't to be disturbed.

00:29:20I won't disturb him.

00:29:22I'll kiss him gently on the forehead.

00:29:24I tell you, you can't disturb him.

00:29:27If I pay a man 5,000 pounds per season, am I or am I not entitled to see him?

00:29:33Well, I'm afraid, as part of the second part, unless the writ of habeas...

00:29:37You make me sick.

00:29:39Yes, and Vanetti's sick.

00:29:40And neither you nor anyone else is going to see him.

00:29:42I believe you.

00:29:44I believe you.

00:29:44You know for a while?

00:29:45Because he isn't dead.

00:29:51Well, I'll go to...

00:29:53You probably will in due course.

00:29:55Well, now you've seen him, perhaps you'll leave him alone.

00:30:00What's the matter with your throat?

00:30:02You got some of those old decayed notes stuck in it?

00:30:04I...

00:30:05Gilly, gilly!

00:30:06Your voice!

00:30:07You mustn't talk.

00:30:12Are you in pain?

00:30:15Good.

00:30:16You had this coming to you, gilly.

00:30:18It's poetic justice for all the pain you caused me.

00:30:21Only mine wasn't a pain in the throat.

00:30:23Hey, what's he wearing this for?

00:30:26To keep his ears warm.

00:30:30No, no!

00:30:31You must keep that on.

00:30:38Oh, yes.

00:30:39This is one of my friends.

00:30:42Fine.

00:30:43You must bring the other one up sometime.

00:30:55What's he up to?

00:30:57He's saying hello to your friend.

00:30:59Look.

00:31:00Very ingenious.

00:31:02I was hoping he'd gone mad.

00:31:04How do you feel now?

00:31:09Irritated.

00:31:13Not up to scratch?

00:31:17No, he says he's feeling loud.

00:31:18Well, not so good.

00:31:19So will you please go?

00:31:21All right, Gilly, so you don't feel so good.

00:31:23Who knows?

00:31:24By next season you might be dead.

00:31:26Why don't you be wise and take a settlement for your contract right now?

00:31:31How's about it?

00:31:33I imagine that one answers itself.

00:31:35All right.

00:31:36So you want to be tough, eh?

00:31:38Well, two can play that game and before I finish with you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

00:31:42you, son, or something, you'll be offering me your contract on Ben and Nees.

00:31:48And don't tell me to put a sock in it!

00:31:53I know.

00:31:54It's a bee.

00:31:55Yes, and you know what?

00:31:56That means buzz off.

00:32:06Hey, call him back.

00:32:07I've just thought of a beauty.

00:32:10As far as I'm concerned there.

00:32:13What's that?

00:32:14A couple of squirts.

00:32:20I'd like to break his neck!

00:32:22It might be easier than breaking his contract.

00:32:25Listen, when I want you to be a comedian, I'll let you know.

00:32:28Just now I want you to be a lawyer.

00:32:31I wonder if clause five would lead us anywhere.

00:32:34I'm sure it would.

00:32:35It would lead us through clause six, seven, and eight, and back to clause two again.

00:32:39I don't know what I'd pay you for.

00:32:40I've got it.

00:32:41If it's as good as your last one, you can keep it.

00:32:44Now, look here.

00:32:44Clause five says, the party of the second part hereby undertakes...

00:32:49Forward!

00:32:51Head away!

00:32:53Backward!

00:32:56You can't do a thing like this and get away with it.

00:32:58My dear delightful young lady, clause five in Benetti's contract states, the party of the second part...

00:33:04That's Benetti.

00:33:06Shall obey all instructions given to him by the stage manager.

00:33:10To what?

00:33:11To wit.

00:33:12What?

00:33:12I said to wit.

00:33:14I think you are an owl.

00:33:16But Gilly Benetti's a sick man.

00:33:17If he's too sick to appear, that's force majeure and automatically cancels his contract.

00:33:22Oh.

00:33:23Oh, but he's not that sick.

00:33:25Exactly.

00:33:25And that's why he's up there doing what the stage manager tells him.

00:33:32Oh, this is terrible.

00:33:33Gilly Benetti doing that.

00:33:34If it ever gets out of this theatre, I'm ruined.

00:33:36You couldn't help it.

00:33:37It wasn't your fault.

00:33:37No, but it was me who had to order him to do it, wasn't it?

00:33:45This is it.

00:34:07Of course, if you want to turn a first-rate opera singer into a fifth-rate ballet dancer...

00:34:12This dancing can't lose me any more than the singing and this phonia.

00:34:15Ha, ha!

00:34:16Mr. Benetti can always refuse to do what the stage manager tells him.

00:34:20And don't you wish he would?

00:34:25Excuse me, sir.

00:34:26What is it?

00:34:27Signor Benetti, sir.

00:34:28Couldn't I tell him to stop?

00:34:29Stop, certainly not.

00:34:30I'm just beginning to enjoy it.

00:34:32Sir, you can't ask a man of his standing to...

00:34:34Why not?

00:34:34But it's outrageous, sir.

00:34:36A man like Gilly Benetti rolling about a dirty stage.

00:34:38Dirty stage?

00:34:40Is it very dirty?

00:34:42Well, it's...

00:34:45Would you like it cleaned?

00:34:48No.

00:34:49Not that, Mr. Ricardo.

00:34:50You mustn't ask me to do that.

00:34:52I won't.

00:34:53I won't.

00:34:57I won't.

00:35:01You can't get away with this.

00:35:02You're simply trying to humiliate him.

00:35:04No court in the world would uphold it.

00:35:05Well, we can always refuse to do it.

00:35:08We've got him there.

00:35:09We?

00:35:10I suppose this is your idea, too.

00:35:12Oh, but, Mr. Ricardo, shut.

00:35:23I don't know.

00:35:23Is he sweeping to your satisfaction?

00:35:25Oh, Miss Carol.

00:35:26Well, is he?

00:35:28Yes.

00:35:28No, he's not.

00:35:32Just a minute.

00:35:33Just a minute.

00:35:34Turn to sweep it harder and faster.

00:35:37And with one hand behind his back.

00:35:39Did you?

00:35:40Did you hear that, sir?

00:35:41Oh.

00:35:54The stage looks cleaner already.

00:35:58You're right.

00:35:59Wasn't dirty enough in the first place.

00:36:11That was very careless of me.

00:36:14Now you'll have to clear it all up.

00:36:15Don't do it.

00:36:16The contract doesn't say anything about taking orders from you.

00:36:19That's right.

00:36:20Do I pay you for her to be right?

00:36:22Clause 5.

00:36:23All right, all right.

00:36:24Come here, you.

00:36:24Come on.

00:36:27You tell him.

00:36:28Mr. Bernetti, would you please sweep up the snow?

00:36:31Cut out the mister.

00:36:32Cut out the would you.

00:36:33And cut out the police.

00:36:35Sweep up the snow.

00:36:43Now.

00:36:45Now.

00:37:11He's done it.

00:37:13Qua direct demonstrandum.

00:37:15Now.

00:37:15Don't you start.

00:37:18You were terrific, George.

00:37:21You've shown them.

00:37:26All finished there?

00:37:27All finished, Mr. Ricardo.

00:37:28Every single bit?

00:37:29Every single bit.

00:37:30That's all I wanted to know.

00:37:43Now sweep them up again.

00:37:45Sweep them up again.

00:37:47Sweep them up again.

00:37:49And when you finish collecting them,

00:37:51count them.

00:37:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:37:59Eighteen thousand and four.

00:38:03Eighteen thousand and five.

00:38:06Eighteen thousand and six.

00:38:12Coffee, George?

00:38:13How many lumps?

00:38:14Eighteen thousand and five.

00:38:15Eighteen thousand and five.

00:38:15George, pull yourself together.

00:38:17Well, that's all right.

00:38:17That's all over now.

00:38:21Come on, drink this.

00:38:22You'll feel better.

00:38:25I counted them, Miss Carol.

00:38:27I know you did.

00:38:28You were wonderful.

00:38:29And I can tell you something else.

00:38:31I did it on them.

00:38:32You did what?

00:38:33I told them ten too many.

00:38:35Oh.

00:38:37What's to do?

00:38:37Have I done something wrong?

00:38:39Your whiskers.

00:38:40Well?

00:38:41Well, I'm afraid they might come back here

00:38:43and see you without them.

00:38:45Oh, well, let me leave them off for a bit.

00:38:47When I've got them on,

00:38:48I feel I don't look like the kind of chap

00:38:50that I'd like you to think I look like.

00:38:54See what I mean?

00:38:55Yes, I think I do, George.

00:38:57Why are you doing all this for me?

00:38:59Because you deserve it.

00:39:00When I think of the things Ricardo made you do.

00:39:03Well, I nearly took it up halfway through the snowstorm

00:39:06when I got to 14,000 and no sign of a thaw.

00:39:08Well, I didn't.

00:39:09I did the last thousand for you.

00:39:11For me, George?

00:39:13I bet you think I'm daft.

00:39:15George, I know it sounds silly,

00:39:17but I can't think of any other way to put it.

00:39:19I think you're the biggest little man I ever met.

00:39:22Well, me the biggest little?

00:39:24You shouldn't say that.

00:39:26It makes me go all unnecessary.

00:39:28Besides, I'd do more than that to earn 500 pounds.

00:39:31And for what?

00:39:32To give to the actor's benevolent home?

00:39:34Oh.

00:39:36Well, that's another thing, Miss Carol.

00:39:38I told you that me auntie was famous

00:39:39and that she had a lot of money

00:39:41and that Fernlands was her home.

00:39:43Well, it's...

00:39:44I knew about Fernlands all the time.

00:39:46What?

00:39:47And it is her home.

00:39:48And one day she's going to be famous as your aunt.

00:39:52Do you really think so, Miss Carol?

00:39:54I do.

00:39:56And don't you think it's time we cut out the myth?

00:39:58Huh.

00:39:59Now you're talking like Ricardo.

00:40:00Cut out the mister.

00:40:01Cut out the would you.

00:40:02Cut out the please.

00:40:03Why, George, I'm afraid I've landed you

00:40:05in an awful lot of trouble.

00:40:07I wouldn't mind what I landed in with you.

00:40:10Carol?

00:40:11Do you know, Carol,

00:40:13when I used to find that trouble gave me way,

00:40:16I always wished it wouldn't stay.

00:40:21But I'm not so sure

00:40:22since you came along

00:40:25whether I was right or wrong.

00:40:29If you asked me

00:40:30would I entertain the lions at the zoo

00:40:33by singing in beside them

00:40:35just before the lunch was due,

00:40:38would I do it?

00:40:39I'd do more.

00:40:43I'd do it with a smile.

00:40:46If you asked me

00:40:47would I take a trip to Paris in the spring

00:40:50and watch the thrills and see the girls

00:40:53and never do a thing,

00:40:54would I do it?

00:40:56I'd do more.

00:41:00I'd do it with a smile.

00:41:02Well,

00:41:04I'm not a super sort of man

00:41:08There isn't much that I can do but sing

00:41:12Yet if you saw me at a fight

00:41:16I could knock Joe Louis out the ring

00:41:19If you asked me to be hypnotised

00:41:22and go into a trance

00:41:24Or even pay my income tax

00:41:26just ten years in advance

00:41:28Would I do it?

00:41:30I'd do more.

00:41:31Yeah, ma'am!

00:41:33I'd do it with a smile

00:41:36When we're all alone

00:41:38No one here to see

00:41:40No one here to see

00:41:41Foolish thoughts occurred to me

00:41:45Maybe you can guess

00:41:46What they're all about

00:41:48So I'll let the secret out

00:41:52If you asked me

00:41:53Would I settle down

00:41:55And build a little home

00:41:56Have the hum and push the pram

00:41:59And never, never roam

00:42:00Would you do it?

00:42:02I'd do more

00:42:05I'd do it with a smile

00:42:08If you asked me

00:42:09Could your mother stay

00:42:11And all your maiden hands

00:42:12Or suggest I take my trousers off

00:42:15So you could wear the pants

00:42:18Would I do it?

00:42:19I'd do more

00:42:23I'd do it with a smile

00:42:27I don't know much of a romance

00:42:30That is something I've been frightened of

00:42:35But someone taught me how to dance

00:42:39Maybe you can teach me how to love

00:42:42If you asked me

00:42:43Would I sew for you

00:42:44I'd knit some baby clothes

00:42:46Or take the baby's nappy off

00:42:48And wipe his little nose

00:42:50Would I do it?

00:42:52I'd do more

00:42:55I'd do it with a smile

00:42:58Good night, George

00:43:00Sleep well

00:43:01I'll do it with a smile

00:43:07Good night

00:43:08Carol

00:43:14How much long is she gonna be up there?

00:43:16Well, the night is young

00:43:18Maybe, but it's making me old

00:43:19If this scheme of yours goes wrong

00:43:21Under clause 13

00:43:23Any undesirable publicity

00:43:25Open that...

00:43:26Here she is

00:43:38All right, now we all set?

00:43:40Hey, Durant

00:43:40Yes?

00:43:41You know your job?

00:43:42How dare you, sir?

00:43:43That's my wife

00:43:44By the way, what's the woman like?

00:43:46She's an actress

00:43:47She's out of the work

00:43:47She's blonde, but she's very nice

00:43:48Go on

00:43:49How dare you, sir?

00:43:50That's my blonde

00:43:51I mean, that's my wife

00:43:52On information received

00:43:53No, no, no

00:43:54That's my wife

00:43:55Stop!

00:43:56Oh, I'm sorry

00:43:57I'm not used to working without a script

00:43:59How dare you, sir?

00:44:00That's my wife

00:44:00Stop!

00:44:02By the way, what will they be doing?

00:44:04I don't know

00:44:04In any case, whatever they're doing

00:44:06You don't say stop!

00:44:07You know, this idea of mine is the best you've had yet

00:44:10It had better be, or I'm reporting you to the Law Society

00:44:20She thinks I'm the biggest little man she knows

00:44:23Hey

00:44:23I think you're the biggest little twerp I know

00:44:26Huh?

00:44:28What chance have you with a girl like that?

00:44:30Who are you?

00:44:32I'm Jiminy Cricket

00:44:33Never heard of you

00:44:34Well, you should go to the pictures more often

00:44:36I'm your conscience, George Butters

00:44:38Oh, is that all?

00:44:41You know, that's the trouble with you

00:44:42You ought to listen to me now and then

00:44:45But you're always telling me to do such daft things

00:44:48I never told you to fall for Carol Dean

00:44:50That's the daftest thing you ever did

00:44:53Well, I love her

00:44:54Hmm?

00:44:55I know I love her

00:44:56You love her

00:44:58What could you give her?

00:44:59If turkeys were sixpence a pound

00:45:01You haven't enough to buy her a feather from a tom tits here all

00:45:04Now, look here, Jiminy Cricket

00:45:06One day I'll earn a lot of money

00:45:07I'll be famous

00:45:08Anyway, who wants a feather from a tom tits here all?

00:45:13Hmm

00:45:14You just saw a girl sitting on your bed

00:45:17Couldn't be

00:45:18Can't be true

00:45:19You know perfectly well it's true

00:45:21When she was wearing frillies

00:45:22I never saw that

00:45:23Well, go and have another look

00:45:25I will

00:45:29What am I gonna do?

00:45:30You take your clothes and hat

00:45:32Climb out of the window

00:45:33And down the fire escape

00:45:35Oh, there you go

00:45:36Talking daft again

00:45:46If you do, I'll scream

00:45:50If I do what?

00:45:53Well, aren't you going to do something?

00:45:55Oh

00:45:56Well

00:45:58I was going to tell you that you'd come to the wrong room

00:46:02Well, what's gone wrong with you, missus?

00:46:04Take your clothes and hat

00:46:06Climb out of the window and down the fire escape

00:46:13Oh

00:46:14Oh

00:46:14Well, I was

00:46:15I was

00:46:16I was

00:46:17What do I do when a girl starts crying?

00:46:19You take your clothes and hat

00:46:20Climb out of the window and down the fire escape

00:46:22Oh, shut up

00:46:23Oh, shut up

00:46:23You mean me?

00:46:24Oh, no, not you, missus

00:46:26I was talking to

00:46:27I was talking to Jiminy Butters

00:46:31You look so kind

00:46:33You'll help me, won't you?

00:46:35Well, it just depends what you want me to do

00:46:38Now, George Butters, no wishful thinking.

00:46:42And don't sit on the bed.

00:46:45You twerp.

00:46:47I'm in desperate trouble.

00:46:49Everything I've been touching lately seems to have gone wrong.

00:46:52Well, don't touch me.

00:46:54Now, look here, Mrs. You can't stop here. You'll have to go.

00:46:57I'm a respectable single man.

00:46:59Oh, please don't turn me away. Please.

00:47:03I've got no money, no friends, no home, no hope.

00:47:07I've got nothing.

00:47:08Oh, I wouldn't say that. You've got something, all right, but you can't bring it in here.

00:47:12But where can I go like this? What can I do?

00:47:15You take your clothes and clothes and clothes and clothes and down the fire escape.

00:47:19I know, I'm telling her. Mother!

00:47:25She should be up there by now.

00:47:27Of course, he may prove obdurate.

00:47:29Oh, forget it. I've got Spanish blood myself.

00:47:32How dare you, sir? This is my wife.

00:47:43Oh, please, would you mind waiting a moment? My husband is just paying the taxi.

00:47:47All right.

00:47:50Oh, I'm afraid I kept you waiting.

00:47:53How dare you, sir? This is my wife.

00:47:57I'm sorry, sir. I had no idea.

00:47:59Excuse me. Good night.

00:48:01Stop, Mr. Truff. Stop, Mr. Truff.

00:48:12You know what to do?

00:48:13How dare you?

00:48:14Shhh.

00:48:15Okay, Balmort, keep it for later inside.

00:48:19What's this?

00:48:20It's a handy little instrument given me by an unsuccessful client.

00:48:26Okay, boys. In you go.

00:48:47It's very quiet, isn't it?

00:48:49What do you want? A brass band?

00:48:52Come here, you.

00:48:56How dare you, sir? This is my wife.

00:48:58No, not yet.

00:49:00You haven't even seen the girl yet.

00:49:02Such actors, you get me.

00:49:04Right?

00:49:04Ah, get out of here.

00:49:06Open up here.

00:49:08Open up here, you hear?

00:49:10Open up or I break the door.

00:49:12Open up.

00:49:22Open up here, Mr. Ricciardo.

00:49:30Really, I'm flattered, but why bring your friends?

00:49:34But, but...

00:49:35I'm afraid I haven't the legal knowledge of Mr. Appelby,

00:49:38but isn't this known as forcing an entry?

00:49:40What are you doing here?

00:49:41I was about to ask you the same question,

00:49:43but I think I let the police do that instead.

00:49:46No, listen, girl. Don't do this.

00:49:47Listen.

00:49:47No, no, no, no.

00:49:49What's the idea of wasting my time?

00:49:51I want my money.

00:49:52Money?

00:49:53So someone's bribing witnesses.

00:49:55They put people in jail for that,

00:49:57don't they, Mr. Appelby?

00:49:58Well, I...

00:50:00Hey, why are you hearing Burnett

00:50:02his flat and his bed and his dressing gown?

00:50:04Because he's staying out tonight,

00:50:05and as I was working late,

00:50:07he said I could have the use of his flat

00:50:08and his bed and his dressing gown.

00:50:21Ah.

00:50:28You missed this one?

00:50:29You think I'm pretty down, don't I?

00:50:32A magnificent piece of understatement, my friend.

00:50:35Now get out.

00:50:36All right.

00:50:36But remember this.

00:50:38If Burnett is well enough to flit about tonight,

00:50:40he's well enough to come to the theater tomorrow

00:50:42to do something rather more strenuous.

00:50:45Hey, and for heaven's sake,

00:50:47play your pipe

00:50:48and get these other rats to follow you.

00:50:49And don't you call these rats rats!

00:51:11All right, George.

00:51:12In you come.

00:51:21Oh, I'm sorry, Carol.

00:51:25I'm glad you got rid of them.

00:51:26I nearly gave up.

00:51:27Oh, boy, George,

00:51:27it must have been freezing out there.

00:51:29Aye, it was.

00:51:30And I'm not going on that ledge anymore.

00:51:31Why?

00:51:32Well, the pigeons didn't like it.

00:51:34Oh, come on.

00:51:34Help me with Cleopatra here.

00:51:38Oi, get a little bit.

00:51:45You know, you're a cheeky fast cat

00:51:47and nearly got pneumonia through you.

00:51:49I didn't mean any harm.

00:51:51Mr. Ricardo promised me a job if I did it well.

00:51:55He said it was a joke.

00:51:56Joke?

00:51:57Well, remember, he laughs, laughs.

00:51:59He laughs, that's what he does, see?

00:52:01Now, if you're a smart girl,

00:52:02you'll take your hat and your clothes.

00:52:03Climb out of the window and down the fire escape.

00:52:09I don't know what I'd have done without you, Carol.

00:52:11The feeling is mutual, George.

00:52:14If you hadn't to come in when you did,

00:52:17anything might have happened.

00:52:18I'll say it might,

00:52:19and this is Jiminy Cricket saying it.

00:52:23Well, you can't blame me if Vanetti wasn't in his flat.

00:52:26Hey, couldn't I swear I saw him in his flat?

00:52:29I'm afraid not.

00:52:31It would be your word against Miss Dean's,

00:52:33and you know what the judge called you the last time.

00:52:35I don't remember.

00:52:36Anyway, who is on an IRS?

00:52:39Excuse me, Mr. Ricardo.

00:52:41The stage manager says he told Mr. Vanetti

00:52:43to do what you said.

00:52:44And did he do it?

00:52:45Yes, he's in the middle of it now.

00:52:46Hmm.

00:52:47Hmm.

00:52:49Hmm.

00:52:59Hmm.

00:53:02Hmm.

00:53:05Hmm.

00:53:07Hmm.

00:53:10Hmm.

00:53:12Hmm.

00:53:13Hmm.

00:53:14Hmm.

00:53:15Hmm.

00:53:16Hmm.

00:53:51Clause 5 shall do as the stage manager tells him.

00:53:55Clause 11 shall not leave the country.

00:53:59Clause 13, undesirable publicity clause.

00:54:02Oh, it's a disgusting contract.

00:54:05There isn't an out for me in it anywhere.

00:54:07Perhaps if you allowed me to have another look, I might...

00:54:09You've sold me your last clause, Appleby.

00:54:12Go and work for Veneti.

00:54:13I might stand a chance then.

00:54:21May have...

00:54:22It's outside!

00:54:27Well, if it isn't old black pants, the lawyer.

00:54:30Oh, yourself.

00:54:32Swifty, what do you call him black pants for?

00:54:35Because he's got a long grey overcoat on.

00:54:37Well, he ain't.

00:54:38Will you do me a favour?

00:54:39Will you act as though we were just walking along the corridor and nothing happened?

00:54:50Oh, chucking things, eh?

00:54:51Troll, Slappy.

00:54:53Watch it, Guff.

00:54:54Got something good for you in the three o'clock.

00:54:55Look, Swifty, I can't see you now.

00:54:58I got trouble.

00:54:59Huh.

00:54:59You got trouble?

00:55:00What do you think the bookies are gonna have when this filly walks in at 108?

00:55:03Eh, Slappy?

00:55:04Yeah.

00:55:05Will you go away?

00:55:06I'm in no mood to talk horses.

00:55:08He's not in the mood.

00:55:09Lady Luck walks in the door and he's not in the mood.

00:55:12Listen, Guff, this tip's red hot.

00:55:13We had to beat up the stable lad to get it.

00:55:15I'm not interested.

00:55:16Don't you understand the King's English?

00:55:18Scrum!

00:55:20Bullseye.

00:55:21Hey, my desk.

00:55:22Troll, Slappy.

00:55:24You must excuse him.

00:55:24He can't resist a circle.

00:55:26He's left to be revarnished.

00:55:27He worries about a desk.

00:55:28With 108 certainty, you can buy 50 desks and have them varnished three times a day.

00:55:34Miss Target?

00:55:35What's her name?

00:55:36Troll.

00:55:37Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

00:55:39Tell the porter to come up and chuck two men out.

00:55:41You porters are hard to get, Governor.

00:55:42I don't want a new porter.

00:55:44You will, if you try and chuck us out.

00:55:46Miss Target?

00:55:47Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

00:55:48Tell the porter to stay where he is.

00:55:49Yes, Mr. Ricardo.

00:55:53Will you put that knife away?

00:55:55Control, Slappy.

00:55:57Circles affect him.

00:55:58Look, here's a pound.

00:56:00Give me the horse and go.

00:56:01Go.

00:56:01I don't want you to feel that you're being forced into this, Guff.

00:56:04Give me strength.

00:56:06What's the matter?

00:56:07You're different.

00:56:08Has the wife come back?

00:56:09Wife?

00:56:10Come here.

00:56:11Come here.

00:56:14You see that man out there in the cradle?

00:56:16Yes.

00:56:16He just cost me 5,000 pounds.

00:56:18He's gonna cost me another 5,000.

00:56:195,000 for doing that?

00:56:20I'm in the wrong business.

00:56:22Why do you have to pay him 5,000?

00:56:23Because he's got a contract.

00:56:24And I've got to pay him another 5,000 next season.

00:56:26Oh, but wait a minute, Governor.

00:56:27That can't be union rates.

00:56:29But that's what his contract calls for.

00:56:31Well, me and Slappy could spell out words for half that.

00:56:34Choke among gates, too.

00:56:35Ah, go back to sleep.

00:56:37Do you want me and Slappy to talk to him, Guff?

00:56:39Talking's no good.

00:56:40I tell you he's got a contract.

00:56:41And I can't break it.

00:56:43You remember that Mugget Epsom who wanted his money back?

00:56:46What did we do to him?

00:56:47Broke his arm.

00:56:48And that smart-allocate Donkester who said we weren't on the level.

00:56:51What did he get?

00:56:52Broken legs.

00:56:53You see?

00:56:53We're good at breaking things.

00:56:55We ought to be able to break a contract.

00:56:58Say you might at that.

00:56:59What's it worth?

00:57:00Now listen, boys.

00:57:01I don't want none of that race gang stuff.

00:57:04And it's nothing to do with me.

00:57:05Ah, so long as he disappears or leaves the country,

00:57:07you don't know nothing.

00:57:09All right.

00:57:11Here's 100 pounds.

00:57:12Speak a bit louder.

00:57:13I didn't hear.

00:57:16150.

00:57:16You're still a bit faint.

00:57:19200!

00:57:20It's a deal.

00:57:21250.

00:57:21All right, listen.

00:57:22I'll send you a check whether you live.

00:57:23That's my business.

00:57:24We'll take cash.

00:57:28Oh, by the way.

00:57:29That horse's name's the Sucker.

00:57:34George.

00:57:35George.

00:57:36Oh, hello, Carol.

00:57:37How's it going?

00:57:38All right.

00:57:39I've nearly finished.

00:57:40I've only got the ice to dock now.

00:57:42Nice work.

00:57:43I'm saving this till last,

00:57:44and when a dot required as I am,

00:57:45I'm going to dot it good now.

00:57:48Now look after your money.

00:57:49Keep away from the drink,

00:57:50and don't buy no more knives.

00:57:52Oh, Swifty.

00:57:53I saw such a beauty in the high street.

00:57:55It had a lovely pig sticker on it.

00:57:56That's just what we don't want, pig stickers.

00:57:58This has got to be a clean job.

00:58:01And no more knives.

00:58:03All right.

00:58:04No more knives.

00:58:06Ah!

00:58:07Oh!

00:58:08Oh!

00:58:09Oh!

00:58:10Oh!

00:58:14Hello?

00:58:19Mr. George White on the telephone.

00:58:21Well, put him through.

00:58:23Hello?

00:58:24Hello, Georgie.

00:58:25When's the new show open?

00:58:26Next Thursday, if you'll give me a break.

00:58:28Listen.

00:58:28My star's walked out, so...

00:58:30Now, don't yell at me.

00:58:31I want to borrow Gilly Vanetti.

00:58:33Yes.

00:58:33What?

00:58:34I asked you not to yell.

00:58:36I'll give you a thousand pounds profit on his contract

00:58:37and ten percent of the gross.

00:58:41You're offering me a thousand pounds profit

00:58:44and ten percent of the gross

00:58:46to take Vanetti's contract off my hands?

00:58:48I know it's a lot to ask, Ricky,

00:58:50but it'll save my show.

00:58:51I'll give him his own spots in the program.

00:58:52He can do his own stuff.

00:58:54Ah, come on, Ricky.

00:58:55Transfer him to me.

00:58:56Will his contract stand for it?

00:58:58Ah, Georgie, just hold on a minute.

00:59:00I'll get it out of the safe.

00:59:02Hurry, go ahead.

00:59:02Miss Target!

00:59:04Miss Target!

00:59:04Oh, there you are.

00:59:05Miss Target.

00:59:06Take these keys

00:59:07and get me Vanetti's contract out of the safe.

00:59:10Not that safe!

00:59:11The big safe!

00:59:12That's it.

00:59:13Hello, Georgie.

00:59:13Just hold on.

00:59:14Just getting it for you.

00:59:15Oh, yes.

00:59:16Here it is.

00:59:17Yes, it can be transferred to a third party

00:59:19by mutual consent.

00:59:21Now, listen, Georgie.

00:59:22I wouldn't do this for anybody else but you.

00:59:24You're a white man, Ricky.

00:59:26Bring Vanetti to my office in the morning

00:59:28to sign his consent to the transfer.

00:59:30Is it a deal?

00:59:31It's a deal!

00:59:33What?

00:59:34Vanetti will be delighted.

00:59:36He and I are like...

00:59:38like this.

00:59:39All right.

00:59:39Bye-bye, Georgie.

00:59:42Miss Target?

00:59:43Yes, Mr. Ricardo.

00:59:44Send the stage manager in immediately.

00:59:56You turn for me, sir?

00:59:57Oh, yes.

00:59:58Come along.

00:59:58You've got some new orders to give.

01:00:03Gilly!

01:00:07You missed me that time.

01:00:09Have another go!

01:00:11Go on.

01:00:12You heard what Mr. Ricardo said.

01:00:13All right.

01:00:13Have another go.

01:00:20Ha-ha-ha.

01:00:21Very funny.

01:00:21You've got a marvellous sense of humour.

01:00:23But, Mr. Gilly, calm down.

01:00:24I want to talk to you.

01:00:27But, my dear fellow, you no need to do that.

01:00:30It's a joke.

01:00:31It's a practical joke.

01:00:32All of it.

01:00:33Everything I've asked you to do.

01:00:35Don't you understand?

01:00:36It was for a bet.

01:00:37That's it.

01:00:38The stage manager, he bet me I wouldn't ask you.

01:00:41Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

01:00:42But I know you with your marvellous sense of humour.

01:00:51To Gilly Vanetti, whose golden voice has thrilled the world.

01:00:57Here's wishing him health, wealth and success

01:01:00in that even wider field of vocal endeavour

01:01:04to which he has been called.

01:01:07Hey, wait a minute.

01:01:08What wider field?

01:01:09And who called him?

01:01:12Ha-ha-ha!

01:01:13Fancy me forgetting to tell you.

01:01:14You'll be thrilled when you know.

01:01:16Hmm, the suspense is killing him.

01:01:17Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

01:01:18I know.

01:01:19I've got a sense of humour too.

01:01:20Now cut the build up.

01:01:21Who called Gilly where?

01:01:22I've arranged for him to go into George White's Vanities.

01:01:25The show opens Thursday and he starts rehearsing tomorrow morning.

01:01:28Pfft!

01:01:29Gilly and a leg show?

01:01:30You must be mad.

01:01:33But it's nothing to do with that part of the show.

01:01:35He's getting his own spot with excerpts from the operas.

01:01:38So he can't object to the transfer.

01:01:40Read the contract.

01:01:41You know perfectly well he can't do it.

01:01:42He's got laryngitis.

01:01:46I've got that fixed.

01:01:47I'll have the two best throat doctors in town see him this evening.

01:01:49Now take him home, keep him warm, give him anything he wants

01:01:52within reason, but he must sing.

01:01:54And if he can't?

01:01:55Then the contract's broken.

01:01:57He'll sing all right.

01:01:58Come on, Gilly.

01:02:21Miss Target?

01:02:22Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

01:02:23Find the two best throat specialists in town

01:02:25and have him go to Bonetti's flat this evening.

01:02:27Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

01:02:28Oh, Miss Target?

01:02:30Yes, Mr. Ricardo?

01:02:31Did you send that wire five pounds each way to soccer?

01:02:34Yes, Mr. Ricardo.

01:02:35Did it win?

01:02:36No, Mr. Ricardo.

01:02:38I shouldn't worry anywhere.

01:02:40A thousand pounds for nothing.

01:02:41Ten percent of the gross.

01:02:43Wrongly, Bonetti, my little gold mine.

01:02:53Who threw that?

01:02:54A man in that car.

01:02:55I saw him do it.

01:02:55It must have flew out of his hand.

01:02:57There's a note on it.

01:02:59That's a daft way to send a note.

01:03:01Take a tip, Bonetti.

01:03:02Get out of the country.

01:03:04Last time we cut your rope, next time it may be your throat.

01:03:07Last time we cut your rope?

01:03:09Yes, remember?

01:03:11When I was fixing the sign, I fell down on my...

01:03:13Well, on the electrician.

01:03:14The sooner we get off the streets, the better.

01:03:16Taxi!

01:03:17You know, one day we're going to laugh about this.

01:03:19I hope.

01:03:21With a guarantee of ten weeks, the contract of guillibility is transferred to...

01:03:26Ah, it's all right, it's all right.

01:03:29Hello?

01:03:30It's me, Governor.

01:03:31We've just scared a couple of cadenzers out of your canary.

01:03:33What are you talking about?

01:03:35I ain't got a canary.

01:03:36Hey, who's that talking?

01:03:37Take a guess.

01:03:38We thought you'd like to know we were on the job.

01:03:41Your South American friend will be out of the country by midnight.

01:03:44So long.

01:03:44Oh, Slappy would like to send you a big kiss.

01:03:46Yeah.

01:03:47What?

01:03:48Slappy.

01:03:49Slappy?

01:03:49Hey, Swifty, don't do it.

01:03:51Listen, I need Veneti.

01:03:52I want him.

01:03:53He's precious to me.

01:03:54Don't do it.

01:03:54Swifty, Swifty, Swifty.

01:03:55What's the address?

01:03:56We don't know.

01:03:57Oh, oh, oh.

01:03:58Oh, Mr. Ricardo, are you ill?

01:04:00Am I ill?

01:04:01What do you call a man who pays 250 pounds to lose himself a thousand plus ten percent?

01:04:06And all I get for it is a tip for a horse that don't win.

01:04:09Oh, the sucker.

01:04:24George, that was perfect.

01:04:26Oh, thank heaven for Veneti's practice records.

01:04:28Well, it seems silly just moving me mouth.

01:04:32I feel like a daft goldfish.

01:04:35When the specialists arrive, you'll be singing.

01:04:37Your voice has come back.

01:04:38Aye, but what about the rehearsals tomorrow?

01:04:40You'll have to lose it again.

01:04:42Oh, this is going to be fun.

01:04:43Fly away voice, come back specialist.

01:04:45Fly away specialist, come back voice.

01:04:47They'll spend all the fees in taxi fares.

01:04:49It's the only way, George.

01:04:50We've got to stall till Veneti arrives.

01:04:52I phoned him and he'll be back for Thursday's opening.

01:04:54I'll be a bit sorry when he does arrive.

01:04:56Sorry?

01:04:58Well, I mean, I'll be just George Butters again

01:05:00and there'll be no more excitement and no more you.

01:05:08Hello?

01:05:11Oh, thanks.

01:05:12Quick, George, they're on the way up.

01:05:14Two of them.

01:05:15Get your makeup on.

01:05:16The singing will be all right, but suppose they ask me to talk.

01:05:18They won't.

01:05:19I won't even let them see you unless I can help it.

01:05:21Now, I'll put the record on, then they can hear you the minute the door opens.

01:05:26I do feel nervous.

01:05:37Good evening.

01:05:39It won't be necessary to see Mr. Veneti after all.

01:05:42He's quite better now.

01:05:43You can hear him practicing.

01:05:44Yes, well, we'll see him just the same.

01:05:46Yes, about his health in general.

01:05:49Oh, but he mustn't be disturbed.

01:05:50Oh, well, we'll see him some other time.

01:05:52Yes.

01:05:52Goodbye.

01:06:16Good evening, Mr. Veneti.

01:06:18Good evening, Mr. Veneti.

01:06:19Good evening, Mr. Veneti.

01:06:26Good evening, sir.

01:06:35Yes, sir.

01:06:35Good evening, sir.

01:06:49Good evening, sir.

01:06:50Yeah, yeah!

01:07:20Swifty! A bull's eye on a moving target!

01:07:25Slappy! Control!

01:07:27George! George! These men aren't specialists.

01:07:31Oh, no. I'd like to see you at a moving target.

01:07:34Say, sister, I thought I'd said goodbye to you once.

01:07:38Now, listen, we've come to warn Mr. Vanetti here

01:07:40that if he don't leave this country in seven days,

01:07:42he'll leave it in a wooden overcoat.

01:07:45Wooden overcoat? You're not wanted here, see.

01:07:48Who sent you to threaten Mr. Vanetti?

01:07:50Threaten? My dear young lady, we're not threatening him.

01:07:53We're just telling him. Yeah.

01:07:56Well, why do you want me to go away?

01:07:58Yours is not to reason why. Yours is but to do.

01:08:01I'll die. Die?

01:08:03Oh! No, you don't, sister.

01:08:05Leave it alone! Take your hands off me!

01:08:07Hey, leave that young woman alone!

01:08:09Another moving target!

01:08:14Get him quick, Slappy! Don't let him get out!

01:08:17One can't run for it!

01:08:18Don't move!

01:08:20Here's a moving target, but you can't hit it.

01:08:22Is that so?

01:08:23Come on, Slappy. Slap your knife into this.

01:08:26Ooh!

01:08:32John!

01:08:33Somebody's left the lift door open.

01:08:35We'll have to watch, Doctor. He's upstairs.

01:08:37He's flat, I suppose.

01:08:38Flat? He's flat every night.

01:08:39Only this time he can't stick at all.

01:08:48What?

01:08:53There's a couple of men up there trying to do our dimey.

01:08:56Oh!

01:08:57Gilly!

01:09:00Is this the patient?

01:09:01Ah!

01:09:02This boy seems very good now.

01:09:03Exactly.

01:09:04We'll send you our bill.

01:09:05Good evening.

01:09:06Oh, now, you don't be caught.

01:09:07Who's got to be kept out of this?

01:09:08You are not Gilly Vanate.

01:09:10Well, you see, it was like this.

01:09:12Gilly!

01:09:13It's no good, Carol.

01:09:14The game's up.

01:09:14I'll say it's up.

01:09:16You'll get ten years for this.

01:09:18Fraud!

01:09:18Oh!

01:09:19Impersonation!

01:09:20Oh!

01:09:20And false pretenses!

01:09:22You'll pay for this!

01:09:23You leave him alone.

01:09:24He's just fallen down five flights of stairs.

01:09:26Not nearly enough.

01:09:27Should've been 50.

01:09:28Don't talk so daft.

01:09:29How could've?

01:09:29There's only six flights to the top of building.

01:09:31Mmm!

01:09:33And it gives me great pleasure to declare this contract

01:09:36well and truly broken.

01:09:38At last, I've got Vanetti where I want him.

01:09:41Ha!

01:09:42Ha!

01:09:42But I thought you wanted him at George White's Theatre in the morning.

01:09:46Ha!

01:09:47Ha!

01:09:48If you listen to reason, we might be able to save you.

01:09:52You might be able to save me!

01:09:54He's going to prison for ten years,

01:09:56and you might be able to save me!

01:09:58I phoned Gilly and he'll be back by Thursday.

01:10:00But White's show opens on Thursday.

01:10:03Ha!

01:10:03Yes!

01:10:04It's a nice, doesn't it?

01:10:05But how can he be back in time to sign the transfer in White's office tomorrow?

01:10:09I don't know!

01:10:10But he doesn't.

01:10:12George does it.

01:10:13George?

01:10:14Who's...

01:10:14Oh, you're George.

01:10:16Yes, Enrico.

01:10:17He won't have to rehearse.

01:10:18We can say he's saving his voice for the night.

01:10:20And on the night, Gilly goes on.

01:10:21And Wallop, Mrs Cox, your mother's won a duck.

01:10:24But he'll never get away with it.

01:10:26Anybody but a lunatic will see he isn't Vanetti.

01:10:28Ha!

01:10:29You didn't.

01:10:42Ha!

01:10:42Now all I can say is,

01:10:44I'm very, very sorry ladies.

01:10:45Sorry, yes you are!

01:10:46Thanks honey, yes.

01:10:48Help us?

01:10:48The Ministry of Labour won't grant permits to the Blackbirds!

01:10:51No, I can't put on half a show.

01:10:55What's the matter?

01:10:56Well, I feel a bit scared with all these people.

01:10:58Oh, never mind them. Just sign Gilly's name like you practice.

01:11:01Well, Ristia's gone numb already.

01:11:02Then send out press announcements.

01:11:04Say we're appealing.

01:11:06Ah.

01:11:07Good morning, Mr. White.

01:11:08Good morning.

01:11:08We're here.

01:11:09Well, what about it?

01:11:10But, Georgie, this is Gilly Vanetti.

01:11:12Look, look.

01:11:14Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry about all this, Vanetti.

01:11:17He can't talk.

01:11:19He's resting his voice, preserving it for the opening night.

01:11:21Well, as far as I'm concerned, he better pickle it.

01:11:23There won't be an opening night.

01:11:25I've just lost the first half of my show.

01:11:27But, Georgie, we still complete the deal.

01:11:30Ah, be your age, Ricky.

01:11:31I'm losing enough already without keeping you and Vanetti.

01:11:33Why, you cheap!

01:11:36You got no ethics!

01:11:37I've got no show.

01:11:38When I've got no show, what do I want with ethics?

01:11:40Hello.

01:11:41Yes.

01:11:42Piccolino, begin to begin.

01:11:44Graziani.

01:11:45Suppose you know what this means.

01:11:46Yeah, it lets me out.

01:11:47It means White doesn't need Vanetti,

01:11:49and if he doesn't want him, I'm certain I don't.

01:11:50For two pins, I'd blow the whole story just to see you squirm.

01:11:54Save your breath.

01:11:55The show's off, and that finishes Vanetti.

01:11:58Wait a minute.

01:11:59Hey, wait a minute.

01:11:59If this show really went on, would he keep Vanetti's contract?

01:12:02Of course he would.

01:12:02He was going to make money out of it.

01:12:04I know a first half of George White's show.

01:12:05So do I.

01:12:06Me kicking Vanetti out of my theater.

01:12:08George, do you mean it?

01:12:10If it's a good idea, will he sell it to George White?

01:12:12Here am I.

01:12:13With one foot in the bankruptcy court,

01:12:15he's asking me conundrums.

01:12:16Talk, George, and talk quickly.

01:12:17Well, first of all, I can see the fiddle start up,

01:12:21then the trumpets come in,

01:12:22then the whole orchestra strikes up,

01:12:25the curtain rises,

01:12:26the audience applaud,

01:12:28and on the stage singing.

01:12:29Oh, I can't forget the dance when I would draw,

01:12:32go together.

01:12:33Oh, I can't forget the dance when I would draw,

01:12:36and you don't see the very luck of her.

01:12:40I certainly had a good idea with this.

01:12:42Yes, didn't I?

01:12:44Oh, I can't forget the dance when I would draw,

01:12:50what an idea, George.

01:12:52What an aunt.

01:12:53Let's go and see if Vanetti's arrived.

01:12:56Miss Dean.

01:12:57Yes?

01:12:57A cable for you.

01:13:02Any reply?

01:13:03No.

01:13:05What's to do?

01:13:06It's from Gilly.

01:13:07He says the plane may be late.

01:13:09Late?

01:13:09It mustn't be late.

01:13:10He's on soon after the interval.

01:13:11I'll ring the airport.

01:13:13Hello.

01:13:14I've been holding on for ages.

01:13:16There must be a reply.

01:13:18Hello.

01:13:20Hello.

01:13:23No, look.

01:13:23George, I hate to ask you to do this,

01:13:25but if he's not here,

01:13:26you'll have to go on for him.

01:13:28What, me?

01:13:28No, how can I?

01:13:29Well, we can't let this throw us now.

01:13:31Yes, and if I sing in front of them,

01:13:32they'll throw me.

01:13:33It worked once.

01:13:34Why shouldn't it work again?

01:13:35What?

01:13:36What, the gramophone?

01:13:38No, I couldn't.

01:13:39Not in front of all these people.

01:13:40George, you've got to do it.

01:13:42For me.

01:13:45Well, I'll do it for you, Carol.

01:13:48Good.

01:13:49But?

01:13:49No time for buts.

01:13:51Well, this is only a little but.

01:13:52Well, what is it?

01:13:53But, don't let the needle get stuck again.

01:14:21Look, Dad, don't you think it's a bit like our George?

01:14:24Our George.

01:14:26First we have to watch your sister make an exhibition of herself.

01:14:28Now you're finding likenesses to our George.

01:14:50He's the biggest thing in the country.

01:14:51Sure, but it took me to exploit him.

01:14:54You know, George, one day you're going to put your shoulder out,

01:14:56patting yourself on the back.

01:14:58Why shouldn't I?

01:14:58Look at the house.

01:14:59It's packed.

01:15:00It's not packed all that packed.

01:15:02There's an empty box up there.

01:15:16How much longer have we got to listen to this junk?

01:15:20That ain't junk, that's opera.

01:15:22Why do they sing south of the board or something classy?

01:15:36Go on, give him a hand.

01:15:37What for?

01:15:38I think he's terrible.

01:15:39Well, it's his farewell performance, ain't it?

01:15:41Be big.

01:15:50George, you did it.

01:15:52I don't know how I did.

01:15:53I suddenly saw my mother and father sitting in front

01:15:54and I sung the same chorus twice once.

01:15:56Oh, you were wonderful.

01:15:58Aye, has he come yet?

01:16:00No, he's at the airport.

01:16:01I sent him a duplicate of the next costume

01:16:03so that he can change on the way here.

01:16:04That's good.

01:16:06Duplicate?

01:16:06Why didn't you send him the proper one?

01:16:08I want you to put that one on, just in case.

01:16:10Oh, just in case.

01:16:11Carol, you don't want me...

01:16:12It won't be necessary, George.

01:16:13I said just in case.

01:16:14Now, you go and change now.

01:16:16I'll telephone the airport and see if he's left.

01:16:17Oh, mother, is it worth it?

01:16:20I'll never pluck up enough courage to go through with this.

01:16:23George Butters?

01:16:24Are you a man or a mouse?

01:16:27It's all very well for you to talk, but I've got to sing.

01:16:30Oh, a black cat.

01:16:32That's supposed to be lucky, isn't it?

01:16:34That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.

01:16:37I'm a man.

01:16:47Oh!

01:16:49So, Gilly Vanity, you thought you could hop on that plane and I wouldn't know, eh?

01:16:54Oh!

01:16:55You thought you'd left me flat, didn't you?

01:16:57Well, I took another plane.

01:16:59And if you can think of any good reason why I shouldn't kick the daylight out of you,

01:17:03you'd better start talking quick.

01:17:05Yes, but you see, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not what, I'm, what a, what a muck hole.

01:17:10A what?

01:17:12Gilly, you're different somehow.

01:17:16You know, I like you like this.

01:17:18You have a je ne sais quoi.

01:17:29Well, it wasn't me, I, I don't know, it was her.

01:17:35Oh!

01:17:37Well, I had nothing to do with it.

01:17:41So you're in this too?

01:17:42What is all this?

01:17:43If you listen, I tell you.

01:17:44I knew he wasn't Gilly Vanity.

01:17:46If that's a sample that went on in Les Palmers, I'm very glad I'm not.

01:17:49Now, George, you go and change and I'll explain the whole thing.

01:17:52You'd better.

01:17:52Well, you see, when Gilly left here, I...

01:17:54Oh, can I trouble you?

01:17:55What is it?

01:17:55You're sitting on me moustache.

01:17:59It's a good job I still haven't got it on.

01:18:02Good man, you get me here tutta pronto.

01:18:05Hey, don't I get a tip?

01:18:07Tip?

01:18:08Ah, tip.

01:18:09You go round to the man with the office at the box.

01:18:12He give you the pass to hear me sing.

01:18:13I don't want a pass, I want a tip.

01:18:15I've got to eat, I want bread.

01:18:17Bread?

01:18:17Huh, and you drive the baker.

01:18:20He gives you bread.

01:18:21I sing her, I give you the pass.

01:18:22At the office.

01:18:27Look, I remember once at the stage door,

01:18:29mind you, I was under the same bed at the end.

01:18:31There was one guy used to say to me...

01:18:34It's Nibs.

01:18:39What on you?

01:18:40Ah, good evening, Mr. Vanity.

01:18:41Do you remember us?

01:18:42I have not made the pleasure.

01:18:44I am in a dash and tear.

01:18:44You didn't know, Harry.

01:18:46You ain't going anywhere.

01:18:47What is this, eh?

01:18:48Hold on.

01:18:49Listen, Mr. Vanity, can you fight?

01:18:51Right.

01:18:51No, I am a singer.

01:18:53Ah, well, that makes it all easier.

01:18:56Here, that was too quick.

01:18:58Get the number.

01:18:59The mister.

01:19:00Get the number.

01:19:01What number, chum?

01:19:03The car which knocked me down.

01:19:04Oh, so it was a car that knocked you down.

01:19:08Watch out, here comes a bus.

01:19:10Oh!

01:19:11Here, play the game.

01:19:12That was my turn.

01:19:14Don't be greedy.

01:19:17Sorry, George, he hasn't come.

01:19:19You have to go on again.

01:19:20Good luck.

01:19:20Oh, don't leave me.

01:19:21Don't be silly.

01:19:22I'm masked now.

01:19:23On you go.

01:19:44Oh, don't leave me.

01:19:57Well, can you beat that?

01:19:58I told you, don't pay to be nice.

01:20:01Listen, we've got to get that guy.

01:20:02Oh, we'll be laughed out of the business.

01:20:10He's about the same old as George, too.

01:20:12Will you stop talking about George?

01:20:14I've done with him, so I should not.

01:20:16I want to hear this fellow.

01:20:23I'll see you again.

01:20:56Come on, I'll go this way.

01:20:58Clifton!

01:21:13There you go, don't try it. Come in, I'll.

01:21:21Oh!

01:21:26Watch that fool thing he's doing! Blow the actor! Blow the actor!

01:21:28Take a shot! Take a shot! Take a shot!

01:21:37Mind armification, would he?

01:21:39Ow!

01:21:41Listen to them, they love it. Take it up again.

01:21:48They're gonna kill the goose, what's the golden eggs?

01:21:51Well, do something! Get George Downs!

01:21:55Oh!

01:22:01Oh!

01:22:06Oh!

01:22:14Oh!

01:22:14Oh, here!

01:22:16Oh!

01:22:20Who's there?

01:22:21Who's there on the stage?

01:22:26Come on, Harry.

01:22:28Over there.

01:22:30Oh, my scalpkin!

01:22:41Sorry.

01:22:42Wait, don't mention it.

01:22:43How do you ring down the curtain?

01:22:44Now, Mr. Whiteside, to leave it out.

01:22:55He's got George's nose, too.

01:23:05You'll never get a chance like this again.

01:23:07Well, what's this for?

01:23:08Your two thugs are under there somewhere.

01:23:10Under there?

01:23:12Under there?

01:23:14Under there?

01:23:15Under there?

01:23:18Under there?

01:23:21Under there?

01:23:22You hear me?

01:23:23Stop!

01:23:25That is not me.

01:23:28I'll prove it to you.

01:23:30See the voice.

01:23:35He's a proper twerp, isn't he?

01:23:39Hold on, will you?

01:23:40I've already come, sir.

01:23:41I've gone mad.

01:23:42You go quietly.

01:23:47Hey!

01:23:48I know that one.

01:23:49It is George.

01:23:51Hello, George.

01:23:53Hello, Mother.

01:24:01I'm done tonsilliter, the finest bullfighter that ever came out of Madrid.

01:24:07With bulls I can juggle, though badly they struggle, they can't get away from this kid.

01:24:13There's nobody else could be keener.

01:24:16It's a treat to watch me fight the bull.

01:24:19I chase them all round the arena.

01:24:23And make nasty scars on the skulls.

01:24:26Then I play on my Spanish guitar.

01:24:28Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

01:24:32It must be a good and it isn't a good and I bought it at Woolworth's Bazaar.

01:24:38Ha-ha!

01:24:39Hey, lad, you were grand, you were.

01:24:41The President's wife is the curse of his life.

01:24:45She loves drinking wine since she's full.

01:24:47One night she got canned and fell out a grandstand right onto a nasty big bull.

01:24:54Then over his head the bull duster.

01:24:57I laughed and began to recite.

01:25:00There was a young lady from Gloucester.

01:25:03And the bullocks all rode with delight.

01:25:06Then I laughed as they played me guitar.

01:25:10Now I'll bet that old girl's got a scar.

01:25:13The bull got a-bending, it's really heart-rending.

01:25:17She's got to stand up in the car.

01:25:20In Milano they would stone him off the stage.

01:25:22If you know anything you'll team up and get stoned with him.

01:25:25I've had some hard fights and I've had a few fights.

01:25:29There was once when the bull got me down.

01:25:32He jumped on me corns and stuck both of his horns in me shanty and old shanty down.

01:25:38His eyes they were staring and glassy.

01:25:41I could feel his hot breath in me ear.

01:25:43So I stabbed him three times in the chassis.

01:25:47And I wished him a happy new year.

01:25:50Then I played on me Spanish guitar.

01:25:53While the people all shouted hurrah.

01:25:57That bull got to shock so he turned into ox so you'll find him on sale at the bar.

01:26:03I can get that phone for three pounds a week.

01:26:05You'd better think again, you're talking to his manager.

01:26:07No.

01:26:08Yes.

01:26:11Here.

01:26:11I've left old Madrid, it's a good job I did.

01:26:14I'd get shot if I went there again.

01:26:17They gave me the sack but I got my own back.

01:26:21They'll be sorry they chased me from Spain.

01:26:24I'll bet that whole town is excited.

01:26:26In the bull ring there'll be lots of rounds.

01:26:29But the animals they'll be delighted.

01:26:32Cause I've mixed all the bulls with the cows.

01:26:35So I'll play on me Spanish guitar.

01:26:38If I practice how to be a star.

01:26:42But don't tell us all cause I'm going on the dole.

01:26:45Till I master this rotten guitar.

01:26:58Give me a little clap.

01:27:00Yes mother.

01:27:03Hello mother.

01:27:08Come on.

01:27:19Francis.

01:27:20My nightingale.

01:27:22I no talk with you.

01:27:23In Glasgow it is Manchester.

01:27:25In Manchester it is London.

01:27:26In London it is no wait.

01:27:28In Las Palmas it is plain no.

01:27:30But here is the elaborate.

01:27:32No.

01:27:36George.

01:27:38Look.

01:27:38A contract.

01:27:40For me?

01:27:40You mean I've done it, I'm a success.

01:27:42Well there's your answer.

01:27:44Do I get all that?

01:27:45Every penny.

01:27:46Except my share.

01:27:47Oh you can have it all.

01:27:48Nonsense.

01:27:49I just take 10% as your manager.

01:27:51As my manager?

01:27:53Oh I see.

01:27:54You will let me be won't you?

01:27:56Of course if that's what you want.

01:27:59I mean I love being managed by you Carol.

01:28:03Always.

01:28:04George.

01:28:05Cut out the being.

01:28:06Cut out the managed.

01:28:07And cut out the by.

01:28:08I love you Carol.

01:28:12Always.

01:28:14I love you Carol.

01:28:16I said it.

01:28:17You are...

01:28:28You are welcome.

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