- 6 minutes ago
Stephen.Colbert.2026.03.30.John.Mulaney
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01Recently, architects have pointed out design flaws in the president's ballroom, like staircases
00:07that seem to lead nowhere.
00:09President Trump defended these design elements with new artist renderings.
00:15But that wasn't the only image of the proposed ballroom that the president presented.
00:22A ballroom, you see what that is right, it'll have a beautiful hamburger plate, it's the
00:28best in the world, I'll show you the kitchen, which will feature this Epstein pattern, I
00:35think it will be the finest ballroom in the sky anywhere in the world, because it will
00:39be the only one with a chair at the moment.
00:43It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
01:05And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
01:33Welcome.
01:36Welcome friends.
01:38Welcome one and all.
01:39To The Late Show, I'm your host Stephen Colbert.
01:41Ladies and gentlemen, we are back after a week off.
01:48I took a little vacation, got out on the boat, and I gotta say, the fishing was unbelievable
01:53in the Strait of Hormuz.
01:57Not another boat in sight, and I caught a giant piece of ticking metal.
02:05It just, gotta figure out how to fillet that sucker.
02:08But, the number one story is that Saturday was the third No Kings protest, and it was huge.
02:16It was amazing.
02:18They're all over the place.
02:20They're all over.
02:21They were enormous.
02:22Just look at the crowd we got here in New York.
02:25Oh, that's the TSA line at JFK.
02:28It's surprising that the lines were so long, considering all the help they got from ice.
02:33I mean, you know the old saying, if you've got time to lean, you're an ice agent.
02:45New York's actual No Kings march was huge, as were the marches in Chicago, in San Diego, Atlanta,
02:58Philly, and in Boston, Massachusetts.
03:03Look at Boston.
03:05Now, that last footage there from Boston was either from No Kings, or the annual Wahlberg
03:10Family Palm Sunday Punch and Munch.
03:13You get a burger and a punch in the face.
03:16Now, I don't know why I said that.
03:18All told, Saturday was the largest single-day protest ever held in the United States
03:25since the first Earth Day back in 1970.
03:29Yeah.
03:31Okay.
03:33Yeah.
03:35That was when millions of Americans showed up in force to protest the Earth.
03:42I was just a little shaver there.
03:44I still remember my dad and me throwing D-cell batteries at a dolphin.
03:49Just trying to get one to stick into its blowhole.
03:53It wasn't only in America.
03:55Trump is so unpopular, there were even No Kings rallies across Europe, including this large
04:00No Kings march in London.
04:06A No Kings march in London must have been awkward.
04:14I mean, it doesn't make Charles feel like.
04:17What do we want?
04:17No Kings!
04:20Metaphorically, in reality, our guy's okay, though I would like to stick a battery in Prince Andrew's blowhole.
04:28Wherever it is, wherever, where would it be?
04:35One of the biggest U.S. showings was in the Twin Cities.
04:39After being terrorized by Trump's immigration goons for months, over 200,000 people stood up to the administration in St.
04:51Paul, Minneapolis.
04:52And the crowd heard from Joan Baez, Maggie Rogers, Bruce Springsteen, and Senator Bernie Sanders, who I hope performed a
05:05Springsteen song.
05:07Everybody's got a hungry heart.
05:11Hungry for soup!
05:15Protests.
05:15He doesn't know.
05:17He doesn't know why soup.
05:18He was on the show.
05:20Why soup?
05:24There were protest signs, and they were just great.
05:26They came from Minnesota, and we said, oh, no, you don't.
05:30Does this ass make my country look small?
05:35No faux-king way.
05:38The turd-rike.
05:40And Jimmy Kimmel has higher ratings than you.
05:45I like that one.
05:48I really like that one.
05:50Can we see who was carrying that sign?
05:52I knew it.
06:00People also wore some fun costumes, like there were rally frogs and this anti-Trump Chewbacca.
06:07Of course, Chewie was just channeling the revolutionary words of Patrick Henry.
06:10Give me liberty, or give me...
06:16But perhaps, is that how you spell it?
06:19I don't know.
06:22Perhaps the most impressive of it all was this inflatable Trump pooping directly onto the Constitution.
06:42That is spectacular craftsmanship above all else.
06:45Whoever made that should be proud, because one day their grandchild will ask them how they resisted the rise of
06:50American fascism, and they can proudly say, well, Tyler, your grandma and I work around the clock with a team
06:57of fellow patriots to answer the eternal question of democracy.
07:00Can we make an angry balloon that looks like it's pooping fire?
07:07Yes, you can.
07:09One reason so many people show...
07:11Yes, we can!
07:13Yes, we can!
07:15Yes, we can!
07:16Yes, we can!
07:18Yes, we can!
07:20Yes, we can!
07:21Yes, we can!
07:22Yes, we can!
07:23Yes, we can!
07:24Yes, we can!
07:25Yes, we can!
07:25I think that's what Obama meant, right?
07:28One reason so many people showed up to, uh, No Kings this weekend is that we are still at war
07:34with Iran, I think.
07:35Because Trump is sending mixed messages by pursuing both a rapid exit while at the same time mulling a dramatic
07:42escalation that would raise the stakes enormously.
07:45Trying to follow the strategy of this president in this war is like getting relationship updates from your most chaotic
07:51friend.
07:51Again, Travis and I are either breaking up or getting engaged this weekend.
07:59But one thing is for sure, we're getting a dog!
08:05Trump is threatening...
08:06Woo-hoo!
08:08Trump is threatening to put boots on the ground while also claiming productive negotiations with the regime are going on.
08:13And then last week, he also said this.
08:16We've won this.
08:17This war has been won.
08:18The war is won!
08:19That is fantastic news!
08:21Can we see some footage of the victory parade?
08:23No, that's No Kings again.
08:25Um, can we please see the victory parade?
08:28No, that's the TSA line in Houston.
08:31All of Trump's vacillating between declaring victory and threatening Iran and saying he's negotiating led the New York Times to
08:38say,
08:38the war has an erratic and make-it-up-as-it-goes feel.
08:43Yes, this is officially America's first improv war.
08:47All right, folks, can I get the suggestion of a reason I invaded and an exit strategy?
08:53I heard pineapple and Chia Pet.
08:55Now, we take you to this proctecologist's office.
09:00Now, Trump took a minute to describe seeing our military in action.
09:04But what happened is, you have to see it, it's very cool.
09:09Missiles launched, missiles launched, missiles launching.
09:13They're launching, okay, we're ready.
09:15And then at seven seconds, fire, fire, fire.
09:20It's the most unbelievable thing.
09:22Fire, boom, fire, boom.
09:26Stirring.
09:29Stirring wartime leadership.
09:31It reminds me of Winston Churchill.
09:34We shall fight them on the beaches, like pew, pew, pew, ka-chow, blammo!
09:40So cool.
09:41Now, there's a reason.
09:44It still holds up.
09:45It holds up.
09:49It's a big guitar.
09:50Really big.
09:52There's a reason Trump thinks of the war as a bunch of zooms and booms,
09:56because, reportedly, he's getting his daily briefing on the war in the form of a highlight reel of, quote,
10:03stuff blowing up.
10:05It's prepped for him by the Pentagon and is a video compilation of the biggest, most successful strikes on Iranian
10:10targets over the previous 48 hours.
10:13It's a greatest hits of the Pentagon's greatest hits, and it's all compiled in the CD.
10:17Now, that's what I call a military operation, because legally, only Congress can declare war.
10:23Trump gave these remarks at a gathering of what I am choosing to believe, based on the logo, is the
10:28FU Institute.
10:32So we have no sense if the war is ending anytime soon, which is not great, because economists are predicting
10:39that the fallout could last for years.
10:41For example, because polyester is made from petrochemicals found in the Gulf, track suits could get more expensive.
10:48That is war on New Jersey.
10:51What?
10:52Tell me.
10:53Tell me, friends.
10:55If not, now when?
10:58If not, him who?
11:00What is the mafia gonna do now?
11:03Nobody wants to get dumped in the Meadowlands by guys wearing caftans.
11:08The effects of the war are everywhere.
11:11Because of the cost of cooking gas, butter chicken has disappeared from some Indian menus.
11:16Cancer drugs might not reach some patients on time, and Shakira and others have postponed shows.
11:23Doesn't it feel like they're trying to sneak in a real bad one in the middle so no one notices
11:28on that list?
11:30Honey, do you want to order Mexican food, Italian, I have herpes, or Chinese?
11:41Italian it is.
11:42Right now, as a result of the war, the average price of gas in the United States is up to
11:47$3.99 per gallon.
11:52Airfares are getting more expensive, and the strikes have triggered a global helium crisis.
11:57Oh, no!
11:59Or should I say...
12:11Oh, no!
12:14We can't afford helium!
12:17We've got a great show for you tonight.
12:19My guests are John Mulaney and Raven Byrne.
12:23And when they come back, an update on your generosity.
12:28Stick around.
12:53Give it up for Lewis Kato and the great Big Joy Machine.
12:57Give it up for Lewis Kato and the great Big Joy Machine.
13:00Folks, as you may have noticed, The Late Show took last week off.
13:04And if you didn't notice, thanks.
13:08What if something terrible had happened and I was lying in the storm drain behind a
13:12Wendy's on the edge of town, living on discarded ketchup packets?
13:18The point is, we took a break.
13:21But before the break, we announced that we are now selling special T-shirts that help raise
13:25money for World Central Kitchen, a great organization.
13:31It's wonderful.
13:32Great people.
13:33It's a great organization that feeds people during times of crisis, which, if
13:37you've noticed these days, it's pretty much everywhere all the time.
13:40The shirts commemorate the end of The Late Show, which will be May 21st, and the
13:44shirts read on the front, The Last Show with Stephen Colbert.
13:49And on the back, it says, Thanks for watching.
13:53Unless you watched on YouTube, the network couldn't monetize that.
13:59It's kind of a joke.
14:05Yeah.
14:07It's kind of a joke, mostly a factual statement.
14:10Now, I'm proud to say that in just the week and a half since we unveiled
14:14them, we have sold, drumroll please, a lot of them.
14:21Yeah.
14:21A lot.
14:23A whole lot.
14:25And if you want one of those great shirts benefiting a great cause, just head to
14:28ColbertLateShow.com slash eBay, where we are also auctioning off Late Show memorabilia.
14:34Like tonight, we are adding a prop that has been used multiple times on The Late Show.
14:38It's a cursed monkey's paw.
14:41Perfect if you're a prop collector or a one-armed monkey who is not superstitious.
14:47We're also adding two items from the very first episode of The Late Show.
14:50This cursed amulet on a decorative goat skull, which is not cursed unless you were that goat.
14:59Go get them all.
15:01Speaking of monkeys, money.
15:04It's one letter away.
15:05The American dollar is about to be ruined because last week the Treasury announced that
15:12starting in June, Trump's signature will start appearing on the $100 bill.
15:16Yeah.
15:17Okay.
15:18Yeah.
15:18You may be upset, but this fulfills a lifelong dream for Don Jr., because he can now snort
15:23coke through his dad.
15:27This is not...
15:28Sure.
15:29Why not?
15:32He seems happy.
15:34This is not normal.
15:35Until now, U.S. paper currency has carried the signatures of the Treasury Secretary and the
15:39Treasurer, not the President, making Trump the first sitting President to have his signature
15:44on the money.
15:46Yes, now Trump's signature will join the ranks of famous names on the money, like
15:50what's-his-name, and the other guy, and Janet Yellen.
15:56Trump's big, dumb name on the money means that for the first time in over 100 years,
15:59the name of the U.S. Treasurer will not appear on the currency, which is a huge slap
16:04in the face to the current Treasurer, say it with me, Brandon Beach.
16:10Sorry, but, uh, let's go, Brandon.
16:16It's not just...
16:24It's not just stupid bills, it's also the stupid coins.
16:27The Treasury Department also announced a design for a new 24-carat gold coin featuring,
16:32you get one guess, Donald Trump.
16:35Seen here...
16:39Seen here doing his impression of a hangry gorilla.
16:43But there's some good news about the coin, because it may never happen.
16:47Abraham Lincoln, a retired Portland lawyer, has sued the government to stop the coin's distribution,
16:53because under federal law, only a portrait of a deceased individual may appear on United
16:57States currency and securities.
16:59It's true.
17:00Abraham Lincoln wanted to be on that penny so badly he hired a guy to shoot him in the head.
17:05Yeah.
17:06No, it's true.
17:07It's true.
17:09Oh, I'm the bad guy?
17:10You just laughed!
17:14Yeah, he just couldn't wait.
17:15Really failed the old marshmallow test.
17:18But the government lawyers might have a pretty good case against this challenge,
17:21because all they have to do is show the jury a photo of Trump's hand.
17:25I mean, does this look like it's attached to a living person?
17:29We'll be right back with John Mulaney.
17:49Hey!
17:50Welcome back, everybody!
17:55Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a Peabody and four-time Emmy Award-winning
18:01comedian.
18:02You know from his stand-up specials, The Bear, and Everybody's Live with John Mulaney.
18:07Please welcome back to The Late Show, John Mulaney.
18:33Hey!
18:34Hello!
18:35Good to see ya!
18:36Good to see you, Stephen.
18:37You are a bit of a mop top these days.
18:39Yeah, it's getting long.
18:40Yeah. Yeah.
18:41You know what it's from is neglect.
18:44Yes.
18:44Yeah, just general.
18:45One of the best grooming agents of all.
18:47Yeah, truly neglect does wonders for you.
18:49How you been? I'm good.
18:51You know, every time I've come out here in the past,
18:53I've always been excited, but very nervous.
18:56Why? I'm not nervous,
18:57because it's the Stephen Colbert Late Show.
19:00But you're John Mulaney.
19:03But you know what? You've had me on so many wonderful times.
19:06You've had me on through various life crises.
19:08Yes. Some playing out on the air.
19:10And it means a lot.
19:12I decided today, I go, I think Stephen likes me.
19:14So I'm good. Oh, I love you, John Mulaney.
19:16And I'm really appreciative to be here.
19:17Thanks, man. Thank you so much.
19:17Thank you for being here. No nerves at all.
19:19I think you're a doll. You're the best.
19:24Listen, you're an interesting cat.
19:25A few months ago, you were spotted somewhere unexpected.
19:29Okay. A Supreme Court hearing.
19:32Oh, yes. Yeah.
19:32Howard Mortman from C-SPAN.
19:35Everybody knows Howard's work.
19:36Howard Mortman. Shout out Howard Mortman.
19:38He posted this.
19:39This is his little hand-drawn thing of where people were.
19:43And this is up here at the Supreme Court Justice and everything.
19:46And down here in the corner, it says,
19:49here's where John Mulaney was.
19:52Yes.
19:53What on earth were you doing?
19:54That was where I was sitting.
19:55Klobuchar, Howard Lutnick, lots of people.
19:57And then right in the back, I went to see them argue
20:01Learning Resources Incorporated versus Trump, otherwise known as the tariffs case.
20:05Oh.
20:06My good friend that I think you know, Neil Katyal.
20:08Sure, sure, sure. Former Solicitor General.
20:10Yes, former acting Solicitor General, was arguing against the tariffs in front of the Supreme Court.
20:15He invited me to go watch.
20:17We're working on a Supreme Court project together, but I'm also a Supreme Court argument nerd.
20:22This is my first live argument.
20:24I sat in the back, and it was incredible.
20:27Wait a second.
20:27Yes.
20:28So let's go back one.
20:29Sure.
20:30You're a Supreme Court argument nerd?
20:32Yeah.
20:32Do you listen to them like they're podcasts?
20:34Yeah.
20:35So they're on YouTube.
20:36They're on SCOTUSblog or YouTube.
20:38You can listen to the whole four hours.
20:40Just audio, right?
20:41There's no video ever.
20:42No, no.
20:42They never allow cameras in there.
20:44But there are now, like, they have pictures.
20:46Like, the different person talking glows, you know, so you can follow it.
20:50And you have pretty advanced stuff.
20:52Oh, okay.
20:53But, like, kind of like Grateful Dead shows.
20:55Like, I just put on different arguments.
20:57And it's the same people every time.
21:00Same clothes.
21:01But always something different.
21:03Wow.
21:03Do you have a favorite?
21:04Favorite argument?
21:05Favorite argument.
21:05Anything like, oh, it's one of those days.
21:07I got to listen to Santa Clara versus Southern Pacific Railroad.
21:10Oh, that's a good one.
21:12You know that one?
21:12Oh, yeah.
21:131884.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:15I have a...
21:16There was recently one where there was a real argument.
21:19Like, a fight broke out.
21:20Between the person...
21:22Advocates accused the other side of flat-out lying.
21:24And Gorsuch was like, hey, we don't say lying.
21:27And they really got into it.
21:28It got pretty hairy.
21:29And I'm sorry I don't have it.
21:30But we'll put it in the show notes.
21:31Yes.
21:33But my friend argued the case.
21:35And I was very excited.
21:36Neil Katyal argued and won, right?
21:39But he didn't know that day he'd won.
21:41But he argued it brilliantly.
21:43And it was really like watching a great stand-up.
21:45It's the same principle arguing in front of the court as doing stand-up comedy.
21:49You've got 15 seconds to get him and that's it.
21:53You have to come out of the gate really hot.
21:55You have to say, Mr. Chief Justice and if it pleases the court and then have like a killer sentence.
22:01And he said, tariffs are taxes.
22:03Full stop.
22:04Which obviously the president can't do without Congress' approval.
22:06Yeah.
22:07Nailed it.
22:07He walks out of the gate, right?
22:10And I punch that up with a...
22:12Punch...
22:12And that's what I open with every night now.
22:15But he argues this brilliantly.
22:18He walks out onto the steps of the Supreme Court on one first street, just like a movie.
22:22And all these cameras come up to him.
22:23And the first question was, do you know why John Mulaney was at the argument today?
22:31What are they like in person, by the way?
22:32Because I've interviewed a few of them, but you can guess the ones.
22:36They really...
22:39But you had a great Scalia story from the correspondence.
22:42Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:43But, okay, so Alito, okay, let's say one of the more intimidating ones.
22:47Very tall.
22:49Uses his height, right?
22:50He's tall?
22:50He's tall.
22:51He's down like this a lot.
22:53And he thinks of a hypothetical for the lawyer.
22:55He goes, let's say we had a...
22:58Someone was working at a restaurant.
23:00Or let's say a small store.
23:01So he gets annoyed with his own hypothetical.
23:03Yes.
23:04Then he wants a yes or no answer to a super complex thing for which there is no yes or
23:09no answer.
23:10So he goes, can they do it?
23:11Yes or no?
23:12And he sits up, like, super tall.
23:13He's a big Philly Italian guy.
23:15He's a Phillies fan, which says a lot, right?
23:17Yes, sir.
23:18Sure.
23:18That type of...
23:19You can't grow up with that type of misery.
23:21Yeah, he might just throw batteries at the guy.
23:26So he uses his height.
23:28Thomas, I mean, he's my parents' age, cannot...
23:31He's awake, but it's a lot of blinking.
23:36It's a nice easy chair and a heavy robe in a humid room.
23:40Yeah.
23:41Built in the 30s.
23:42No A.C.
23:43And it is tough on...
23:44I mean, just blinking up the driest eyes in town.
23:47Wow.
23:47We have to take a quick break.
23:49All right.
23:49We'll be right back with more.
23:50Mr. John Mulaney, everybody.
23:52Stick around.
23:58Hey, everybody.
24:00Hey, that is.
24:01That is John Mulaney of the Supreme Court.
24:06Supreme Court's John Mulaney.
24:07You're on tour right now.
24:08Yes, I am.
24:09And what I love is you're a family man.
24:11Yeah, they come with me.
24:12And the family comes with.
24:14Yes, they do.
24:14Here you are with your lovely son.
24:16Oh, yeah.
24:17Malcolm, right there.
24:18That's at Massey Hall in Toronto.
24:21My son likes to come.
24:22Famous.
24:23Yeah.
24:23Amazing.
24:24Neil Young.
24:24I had him wear, like, a Neil Young blazer for this sound check.
24:28He does sound check at work, we call it.
24:31And I guess it is a job.
24:35And anything I need him to do, I can always say,
24:37hey, at work, we have to do this.
24:39You know, at home, you know, talk back as much as you want.
24:42But we're at work now, so you have to wear a blazer,
24:44and you have to eat your whole peach cup.
24:46And whatever I want him to do.
24:47And he's like, right, at work.
24:49I go, yeah, at work.
24:50It's a bummer, but we got to do it.
24:51Yeah.
24:52So he does sound check and stuff.
24:53And then he came to Memphis with me recently, which was great.
24:58Because I was performing on the soundstage at Graceland.
25:02They have a beautiful stage there.
25:03Oh, wow.
25:03So Malcolm, my son, is four, but he's a huge Elvis fan.
25:06And I said to him, do you want to get a tour of Elvis' house?
25:10Wow.
25:10And he was like, Elvis' house?
25:11Awesome.
25:125 p.m., sun setting, they give us a private tour,
25:15me and Malcolm.
25:15We're walking through.
25:16She goes, we're going to show you some special spots,
25:18because you're performing here at Graceland.
25:20Wow.
25:20My son goes, I want to go on the roof.
25:25They go, well, we don't have people up on the roof.
25:27And he goes, you said special spots.
25:29And I was like, he's right.
25:31It's true.
25:31Take us to the roof.
25:32Yes.
25:33So we're walking through the jungle room.
25:34Oh, yeah.
25:35Have you been to Graceland?
25:36No, but I am aware of the jungle room.
25:37Oh, I'll take you some time.
25:38It's great.
25:39Okay.
25:40I want to go on the roof.
25:41Yeah.
25:43This is the home in poverty that Elvis dreamed of building,
25:46and he builds it when he's the biggest star in the world.
25:47And it's like a pretty good house a dentist would have in 1959.
25:51Right?
25:52It's like fine, right?
25:54So we're in the jungle room, famous room.
25:56They call it that because they have carpet on the walls,
25:58like the jungle.
26:02And we're looking around, and Malcolm goes,
26:05Dad, can I meet Elvis now?
26:11It had never come up while listening to Hound Dog.
26:14Sure.
26:15You don't go, you know, son, this guy's dead, right?
26:18You want to know how he died?
26:19You want to know how he died?
26:21So I go, no, you can't.
26:23And he goes, please, I want to.
26:25I go, oh, no, it's not like a permission thing.
26:27Then I realized all his grandparents are alive,
26:30and he's never had a goldfish.
26:34And he doesn't know.
26:35Like, he doesn't know, and he's about to find out
26:37in the jungle room at Graceland that everybody dies.
26:42And so how did you convey this?
26:45I said, Elvis is in heaven now.
26:46And he said, why?
26:48And I said, uh, well,
26:51sometimes when people are in their early 40s.
26:56Okay.
26:57Okay.
26:58Okay.
26:58And they have a job and schedule a lot like daddy.
27:02Uh, and some of the same issues as daddy.
27:08They go to the bathroom and they go to heaven.
27:10Yeah.
27:11Worse ways, I suppose.
27:13Dude, what better life?
27:15Our other guest tonight is the great David Byrne.
27:20The greatest.
27:21What I just, what I found out,
27:23I was very excited that both of you were going to be here
27:25because I'm big fans of both of yours.
27:27And I got to know both of you a little bit.
27:29Um, I didn't know you guys were friends.
27:31Like, you guys have collaborated several times.
27:33A couple times.
27:34Yeah, the Sackluck Bunch.
27:35And what else?
27:36Baby J?
27:37Uh, he did music for Baby J.
27:38I had the honor of hosting SNL when he was a musical guest.
27:41Yeah.
27:41I can't believe I know him.
27:42It's similar to you.
27:43Unbelievable.
27:43I can't believe I get to talk to him.
27:45Yeah, exactly.
27:45Don't tell him because he's backstage right now,
27:48but I'm starstruck.
27:49Yeah.
27:50It's, Nick Kroll once said,
27:51that's the most nervous you ever are,
27:52is when you're talking to David Byrne.
27:54I really, he's a wonderful, nice man.
27:56I just, I look up to him so much.
27:57Um, I haven't done this before,
27:59but he's going to come out here in just a minute
28:02after the commercial break.
28:03You want to just stay and do the interview with him?
28:05Really?
28:06Yeah.
28:06Well, yes.
28:12And that is such a gift.
28:14I would like to give you something that I have for you
28:16before, before I move on.
28:18Yeah, all right.
28:18This is, um...
28:19People rarely do this.
28:19I don't want to make a big deal out of it,
28:21but, uh...
28:22Should I open it up?
28:23Yeah.
28:24From the hotel.
28:26No, don't say where I'm staying.
28:26Come on.
28:35Room 237.
28:35Room 237.
28:37Under the name Samson Rollamite.
28:39I know.
28:40People still guess it's me.
28:42It's a check.
28:43Hold on.
28:43It's a check.
28:44From me.
28:45It's John Mulaney.
28:46It's, to me, for $750.
28:49Yeah.
28:50Stephen Colbert from the City of Nashville.
28:52Why?
28:53So, listen.
28:53I don't mean to make a big deal out of it,
28:55but, like, you won't have a job soon.
28:57And...
28:58No, no, no, no, no, no.
29:00Come on.
29:01Don't embarrass me.
29:01Personal expenses.
29:03Personal expenses.
29:04Yes.
29:04Uh, this is so...
29:06Look, obviously you've saved, but this is so...
29:09You know, you go,
29:10should I get the new suit for the job interview?
29:12I get it.
29:12You know what I mean?
29:13I don't want you to...
29:15I don't want you to take Abby out.
29:17I accept.
29:17Take it.
29:17You have to cash it.
29:19Oh, I will.
29:23Tickets to his Mr. Whatever tour are available on JohnMulaney.com.
29:27John Mulaney, everybody.
29:29We'll be right back with David Berg.
29:42Welcome back, everybody.
29:45My next guest is a Grammy Tony,
29:50an Academy Award-winning artist who is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
29:53Please welcome back to The Late Show, David Byrne.
29:57.
30:13The band sounds great.
30:15Don't they sound good?
30:16What a fail-a-tune.
30:18Yes.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Wow.
30:20Pretty good.
30:21Tons of change.
30:23Yes.
30:24Hey, good to see you again.
30:25And as I said, I just found out that you guys are friends.
30:28How did you guys get to...
30:29How did you meet?
30:30Oh.
30:31Oh, oh.
30:31Oh, hello.
30:32Yes, you did.
30:33Oh, hello.
30:34He did Oh, hello on Broadway.
30:36Oh, you did a show.
30:37For people who don't know, you did a show on Broadway called Oh Hello.
30:39Oh, Hello with Nick Kroll.
30:40Yeah.
30:40And we'd have a guest on.
30:41You were one of our early guests, Steven.
30:43Had a good time.
30:44And we had David on one weekend, and it was a very...
30:47That was when I tripped over his intro and Nick went,
30:49you've never been nervous like this before.
30:51Yes.
30:51How did you get the invitation?
30:52Like, did you know what it was?
30:53I knew the director.
30:55Yes, that's right.
30:56Alex Timbers.
30:56And he said, hey, will you do this?
30:57And, of course, I did the show, and I go, I don't think I recognize these guys.
31:03We were in a lot of, like, arsenic and old lace makeup.
31:08Yes.
31:09Here we go.
31:10This is Who is the Sky?
31:12Last year.
31:13Either side works.
31:15And you've been on tour with an ensemble.
31:17Here we go, with your ensemble right there.
31:20There they are.
31:20You're always reimagining what a concert can be.
31:22How did you decide?
31:24Whoa!
31:26The picture gets an applause.
31:28Yeah, yeah.
31:28I think your imagination got the applause.
31:31How did you decide what you wanted this tour to feel like?
31:35I knew I wanted it to be colorful.
31:36The last one was gray.
31:39It was not a sad show, but it was great, and I thought, no.
31:43Times we live in, we need some color.
31:45Sure.
31:49And here we are.
31:50Here you are.
31:52In the show, you perform some talking head songs like Psycho Killer and Life During Wartime.
31:56Do those songs feel different in the context of today than when you first performed them?
32:03Oh, my goodness.
32:05Well, the second one, Life During Wartime, yes.
32:09I licensed some ice footage to show at the very, very end of the song.
32:15If we showed it for the whole song, it would be kind of depressing.
32:18But we show it at the very end, and we start off with some footage that I saw of this.
32:23It looked like a delivery guy on a bike being chased by the ice guys, and he gets away.
32:34He is.
32:35In Chicago, yeah.
32:36Yeah.
32:36And it was in Chicago.
32:38We debuted that clip, because they kept coming, they kept coming, in Chicago.
32:43John was there.
32:44Like, biggest, biggest, coolest reaction I've ever seen of a live audience ever.
32:50Incredible.
32:51You also created an immersive show at the Goodman Theater in Chicago called Theater of the Mind.
32:56What's that about?
32:58It's about how we form our identities through our memories and our perception.
33:04And it follows a guide, an actor, who takes you through a series of rooms that represent various...
33:13That actor's life, going backwards.
33:16That's when you're on stage, you're actually going through...
33:18You're going through rooms.
33:19Yeah, it's in a warehouse kind of space.
33:21Yeah.
33:21And it works.
33:24Have you attended it?
33:25I attended it very recently.
33:29I saw two runs, as we call them.
33:32And the second one, a woman was sobbing by the last room.
33:37She told me she loved the show, but it touched something personal in her.
33:42And so I was simultaneously kind of pleased, but also thought, well, can I help?
33:50We should help her.
33:51Yeah.
33:52Has it generally been the reaction been positive?
33:55I think so, but I don't read reviews.
33:57I do have a...
33:59One of the actresses has told me a story.
34:03These kind of immersive shows, the actor is very close, like you are to me.
34:11And in one room, a husband and wife were in the audience, and the husband winked at the actor.
34:21And the wife noticed.
34:25She was not real happy about that.
34:30And so when they finish in that room and getting ready to go to the next room, the actors, the
34:36actress opens the door and said, are you coming with me?
34:38And the woman goes, I'm not going with you, bitch.
34:48They say if you can touch one person, it's worth it.
34:52Oh, boy.
34:54Well, you're going to do a song for us tonight.
34:55Thank you for doing a song.
34:58What?
35:00What are you going to be doing?
35:01From the album, what are you going to be doing?
35:03I'm going to do a song called When We Are Singing.
35:08Yeah, what is it?
35:10Well, at the beginning of it, I thought about...
35:13I really don't like writing songs about my business.
35:18But I thought, you know, when people are singing, we don't know.
35:24They look kind of funny.
35:26You can't tell if they're in ecstasy.
35:28You know, they just have their mouth open.
35:30You don't know if they're in ecstasy or if somebody stepped on their toe or they saw something horrible.
35:37Sure.
35:38It's all the same look.
35:40We look forward to watching you do that.
35:45David, thank you.
35:47I want to thank my co-host, John Mulaney.
35:50Tickets for Who Is The Sky Tour are on sale now.
35:54We're right back at the performance by David Byrne, y'all.
36:15And now performing When We Are Singing from his album, Who Is The Sky, ladies and gentlemen, David Byrne.
36:22Who Is The Sky, ladies and gentlemen.
36:34When We Are Singing
36:39I know the way we look
36:45Swimming, drifting, floating on
36:50And everything is true
36:54Yeah
36:56Everything is true
37:12When we are sinking
37:18When we're far away
37:23What were you thinking of
37:29In that distant place
37:33Look on someone's face
37:39When you turn the pages
37:45I heard you call my name
37:49We've got one thought in the party gates
37:55One thought in the flames
38:26When we are sinking
38:31Can you name that tune
38:36The words go out in circles
38:43Everything is true
38:46Yeah
38:48Everything is true
38:53When you turn the pages
38:58I heard you call my name
39:03Got it
39:04One thought in the party gates
39:09One thought in the flames
39:14I heard you call my name
39:44We are, we are, we are, we are
39:56Everything is true
40:01Everything is true
40:22Dave Byrne, everybody
40:23Goodnight
Comments