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Have I Got News for You US S04E09
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00:21Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:23I am Roy Wood Jr.
00:25In the news this week.
00:28Despite leadership shakeup,
00:30Kennedy Center still booking major acts.
00:39A quick look at Americans checking their 401Ks.
00:47Don Jr.'s morning regimen revealed.
00:50Fentanyl, heroin, medicine, cocaine.
00:53On Amberstein tonight, he's a comedian.
00:55He's been on Kimmel, NPR, and Comedy Central,
00:57and he's known for hilariously calling out racism
01:00wherever he sees it.
01:02Michael, maybe you should leave now.
01:04It's Harry Cundibola.
01:09And joining Team Michael,
01:12he's an award-winning journalist
01:13who has won three Edward R. Murrow Awards
01:16and hosted NPR's All Things Considered
01:18until last year,
01:20when I assume he ran out of things to consider.
01:22It's Ari Shapiro.
01:26Now, for the biggest stories of the week.
01:29Amber, Ari, watch the clips.
01:32Tell me, what is the story?
01:34Okay, this is our best friend.
01:36And that is a map.
01:38Straight up Hormuz.
01:39The doors are closed.
01:40So, I'm just gonna say
01:42this story is about
01:44how everyone hates us and they're right.
01:45Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:47I agree with that.
01:48Yes, the story is
01:49Donald Trump goes to war with the world
01:51and people abroad are not fans of it.
01:54But how's it going here at home?
01:56If you could say something to President Trump
01:57and he was gonna hear you right now,
01:59what would it be?
02:01You're a worthless pile of s***.
02:05And you voted for him how many times?
02:07Three times.
02:08That was my bad.
02:10Apparently, I'm an idiot.
02:15The most honest person in America.
02:17Three times.
02:19Now, as the war continues,
02:20President Trump seems perpetually surprised
02:22that Iran is actually fighting back
02:25during a war.
02:27So, now, Trump,
02:28a man who seems to burn bridges
02:30while he's only halfway across the bridge,
02:34has finally realized,
02:35oh, dear, I need help from other countries.
02:38How's that getting help from other countries going?
02:40Yeah, apparently, when you do stuff
02:41without asking people,
02:42they don't want to help you afterwards.
02:44Here's Dan Abash
02:45with how some of our allies responded.
02:47Germany, this war has nothing to do with NATO.
02:49It's not NATO's war.
02:50UK, we will not be drawn into the wider war.
02:53Italy, Italy is not part of the conflict.
02:55Australia, we will not be sending a ship
02:57to the Strait of Hormuz.
02:58Japan, we are proceeding with consideration.
03:02We are considering his Japanese for fuck you.
03:06When Trump met with the Japanese prime minister,
03:08Sanai Takeshi,
03:10what happened in the meeting?
03:12He thought it would be a great idea
03:13to make a joke
03:14about bombing Pearl Harbor.
03:17Why didn't you tell US allies
03:20in Europe and Asia, like Japan,
03:23about the war before attacking Iran?
03:25We didn't tell anybody about it
03:26because we wanted surprise.
03:29Who knows better about surprise than Japan?
03:32OK, why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?
03:35OK, right?
03:38To be fair, he got some laughs in the room.
03:40He got like two groans.
03:42I'll take it.
03:44Also love, he did the joke,
03:46it bombed, and then he goes,
03:47right?
03:50The ladies know what I'm talking about, right?
03:52He made the attack
03:54without telling the other countries
03:55because normally in war, you go,
03:56hey, I'm going to go over there
03:57and punch them in the face,
03:58make sure you got my back.
03:59But Trump instead punched people in the face
04:02and then came back and go,
04:03hey, I just punched them in the face.
04:05Would you mind helping me fight?
04:08Here he is hedging his bets.
04:10We have the strongest military
04:11by far in the world.
04:12We don't need them.
04:13But it's interesting.
04:16I'm almost doing it in some cases
04:17not because we need them,
04:18but because I want to find out
04:19how they react.
04:20Oh, he's going through the stages of grief.
04:22That's denied.
04:24According to Trump,
04:26it'll be, quote,
04:27very bad for the future of NATO
04:29if they don't help us.
04:31He's going to bomb NATO.
04:34He's going to bomb the hell out of NATO.
04:35Britain's former chief of the defense staff
04:37doesn't want NATO to get pulled into this war.
04:40NATO was created as a
04:41underlined four times defensive alliance.
04:44It was not an alliance that was designed
04:46for one of the allies
04:47to go on a war of choice
04:48and then oblige everybody else to follow.
04:51Is that red thing his heart rate?
04:55So now Trump's in a bit of a pickle.
04:57He started a war that no one wants to help in
04:59and there's no clear way out of that war.
05:01But Trump is a scrappy guy
05:02who's always overcome adversity
05:04and he's overcome adversity all by himself.
05:07He doesn't need people.
05:08Is Donald Trump a self-made man?
05:14The truth of the matter is that
05:15Donald Trump sees himself as self-made.
05:18In 2015, he was asked this question
05:21at an election town hall.
05:22With the exception of your family,
05:24have you ever been told no?
05:26It has not been easy for me.
05:27And, you know, I started off in Brooklyn.
05:29My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.
05:33The only thing he made himself was that color.
05:38That's great.
05:41From the very moment Donald Trump
05:43has started in business,
05:44there has always been somebody there
05:46to bail him out when he failed
05:49and he has failed a lot.
05:51In fact, Wikipedia has a whole category
05:54called Businesses of Donald Trump
05:57that went bankrupt.
05:58And it has 24 separate pages.
06:03Question to the panel.
06:04What is your favorite failed Donald Trump business?
06:08I like the Trump Taj Mahal going down.
06:10That was always a big one.
06:11The casino, the Atlantic City.
06:12Yeah, because on behalf of India,
06:14fuck you.
06:17Well, of all the failed Trump businesses,
06:19there was this one.
06:21The Sharper Image is one of my favorite stores
06:24with fantastic products of all kinds.
06:27That's why I'm thrilled they agree with me.
06:30Trump's stakes are the world's greatest stakes,
06:32and I mean that in every sense of the word.
06:35How many senses of the word are there?
06:39The bigger question is,
06:40why are you buying a stake at an electronic store?
06:44According to the former CEO of Sharper Image,
06:48quote,
06:48we literally sold almost no stakes.
06:52In every sense of the word.
06:55So the man who failed at casinos,
06:57failed at hotels,
06:58failed at stakes,
06:58has gotten us into a war
07:00that he promised he would never start,
07:02and now he's resorting to what he always does
07:04when things aren't going his way.
07:06He blames other people.
07:07Does anyone know which one of our allies
07:10Trump threw under the bus on Wednesday night?
07:13He posted this long-truth social rant
07:15about Israel bombing an oil and gas field
07:19that was jointly owned by Qatar and Iran,
07:21and Qatar is a U.S. ally,
07:23and he said Israel will never do that again,
07:25and Qatar,
07:26we're not going to bomb any more oil and gas fields,
07:28and tsk, tsk,
07:29shame on you.
07:30That is correct.
07:31Points to you, Ari.
07:32It was Israel.
07:33Wednesday night on Truth Social,
07:35Trump posted, quote,
07:37Israel, out of anger
07:38for what has taken place in the Middle East,
07:40has violently lashed out
07:41at a major facility in Iran.
07:43The United States knew nothing
07:45about this particular attack.
07:48This particular...
07:49You know how bad it's got to be
07:50for Trump to distance himself from you?
07:52He's still kicking with Rudy Giuliani.
07:56So Trump is, uh, cornered,
07:58he's alienated his allies,
08:00angered his supporters,
08:01and even some of his own staff
08:03won't back him up.
08:03There's only one option.
08:05Here's the president on Wednesday.
08:06I wonder what would happen
08:08if we, quote,
08:09finished off what's left
08:10of the Iranian terror state
08:11and let the countries that use it,
08:13we don't,
08:14be responsible for the so-called straight.
08:16That would get some of our non-responsive allies
08:18in gear and fast,
08:19President DJT.
08:20He misspelled straight.
08:24Maybe it's like a Gulf of America
08:26type situation.
08:27Right, right, right.
08:27Yeah.
08:28So from now on,
08:29that will be how it is spelled.
08:33Michael and Ari, watch the clip.
08:35Tell me, what is the story?
08:37Capitol Hill.
08:37Okay.
08:38Oh, that's that guy, Bruce Wayne.
08:40Mark Wayne Mullen.
08:40I'm going to go with Bruce Wayne.
08:41And then Cruella de Vil.
08:43Yes, of course.
08:45Cash Patel.
08:46Yeah.
08:46Tulsi Gabbard, Cash Patel,
08:48went to the Capitol,
08:49and like all meetings
08:51with Trump officials
08:53talking to congresspeople,
08:54it did not go well.
08:55The story is,
08:56while Trump's focus
08:57is on other countries,
08:59the Senate was focused
08:59on domestic matters
09:01this last week
09:02at the confirmation hearing
09:03for Trump's nominee
09:04to head up the Department
09:05of Homeland Security,
09:07Senator Mark Wayne Mullen,
09:08look like a business casual
09:10woodchuck right there.
09:13It says there's going to be
09:14three more weeks of winter.
09:15Tell you what,
09:15there's going to be
09:15three more weeks of winter.
09:17Confirmation hearing
09:18is to hold a prospective
09:19appointee's feet to the fire.
09:21And there's nobody better
09:22to do the scrutinizing
09:24than Iowa Senator Joni Ertz.
09:26I am going to say
09:27to the president,
09:28I am really upset
09:29that he has made your nomination.
09:32Why?
09:33Because I will be losing
09:35from the Senate
09:35one of the best friends
09:37that I have here.
09:38Truly.
09:43Siri, play End of the Road
09:45by Boyz II Men.
09:48One person really seemed
09:50to lead the charge
09:51against Senator Mullen
09:52in the hearing.
09:53Which Republican was it?
09:55Was it Rand Paul?
09:56The only senator
09:57who has his barber
09:58to make him look like
09:59the dude from The Bear.
10:00Look at that haircut.
10:01Senator Paul gave
10:02a hard no vote
10:04against Mullen,
10:05adding, quote,
10:05I think there are
10:07anger issues.
10:09You did many interviews
10:10in which you justified
10:11the violence
10:12as historically justified
10:13by precedents,
10:14such as caning
10:15and dueling.
10:16What I was simply
10:17pointing out
10:18is some of the rules
10:18that still apply
10:19to this body.
10:21For instance,
10:23dueling with two
10:24consenting adults
10:24is still there.
10:26I was pointing out
10:27what is still
10:28It's been illegal
10:28for 170 years.
10:30There's no precedent
10:32for legal dueling.
10:34We should bring back dueling.
10:36But only between
10:37two consenting adults.
10:38I don't know.
10:39Well, question,
10:40does anyone know
10:40where Rand and Mark
10:42Wayne's conflicts
10:43began?
10:44When Rand Paul's neighbor
10:47beat the shit out of him
10:49and Mark Wayne Lohan
10:50said to Rand Paul,
10:51you asshole,
10:52you probably deserved it.
10:53Point!
10:54Yes, indeed.
10:55Rand Paul's beef
10:56with Mark Wayne
10:57goes all the way
10:57back to 2017
10:59after Rand was assaulted
11:00by his neighbor
11:01in a property line dispute.
11:03After that,
11:03Mark Wayne repeatedly
11:04told a group of voters
11:05that he understood
11:07completely why his neighbor
11:08might want to attack
11:10Senator Paul.
11:12I don't know
11:12the details of this dispute
11:14with a neighbor,
11:14but I've lived in Washington
11:16and covered politics
11:17long enough
11:17to be able to say
11:18he is, let's just say,
11:19not one of the most
11:20beloved senators
11:21on Capitol Hill.
11:22Why?
11:23Well, I think you might
11:25want to ask his neighbor.
11:27There seems to be
11:28another element
11:29of Mark Wayne's past
11:31that is coming back
11:32to haunt him right now.
11:34What part of Mullen's
11:35backstory is still
11:37being brought into question?
11:38He was a stripper.
11:40What would be
11:41Mark Wayne Mullen's
11:42stripper name?
11:43Mark Wayne full-on?
11:46What?
11:49Mark Wayne
11:49instead of Mullen,
11:50full-on,
11:51like a full-on...
11:52Like a boner?
11:53Like a boner, yeah.
11:54Oh.
11:55Okay.
11:55Earlier this month,
11:56Mark Wayne went on Fox News
11:57to defend our attacks on Iran,
11:59and he said this...
12:00War is ugly.
12:01It smells bad.
12:02And if anybody's ever
12:03been there
12:04and been able to smell
12:05the war
12:08that's happened around you
12:09and taste it
12:09and fill it
12:10in your nostrils
12:11and hear it,
12:12it's something that
12:13you'll never forget.
12:14Fact check true.
12:16Okay.
12:17But can you taste it?
12:18Can you taste the war?
12:19I personally have never
12:19tasted it,
12:20but maybe he's been in wars
12:21that I haven't covered
12:22as a journalist,
12:22so I'm not gonna...
12:23I'm not gonna yuck his yum.
12:28After seeing Mark Wayne
12:30talk about the smell of war,
12:33New York rep
12:33and two-time Bronze Star recipient
12:36Pat Ryan shared the clip
12:38and asked,
12:38quote,
12:39Hey, Senator Mullen,
12:40what the actual fuck
12:41are you talking about?
12:42Did I miss the part
12:43of your bio
12:44where you served in combat
12:46or served in uniform at all?
12:48Call of Duty doesn't count.
12:52Bigger question.
12:53Did Rand Paul's strategy work?
12:55One of the most reliable rules
12:57of presidential nominations
12:58is if you want to get
12:59somebody confirmed,
13:00pick a senator
13:00because senators confirm their own.
13:02That's the rule.
13:03So if Senator Mark Wayne Mullen
13:05does not get confirmed
13:06as Secretary of Homeland Security
13:08because of a beef
13:09between Rand Paul
13:10and his neighbor,
13:11that is bonkers.
13:12You would need
13:13some kind of turncoat Democrat
13:14to vote for Mark Wayne Mullen
13:16for this thing to proceed
13:18and I don't think
13:18that's gonna happen.
13:22What?
13:23Mark Wayne Mullen
13:24is moving on
13:25to the fantasy suites
13:26aka the Republican Senate
13:28because the deciding vote
13:30to approve Mark Wayne Mullen
13:32came from a Democratic senator,
13:36Pennsylvania king
13:37of the drawstring,
13:39John Fetterman.
13:41Oh, no.
13:43Right.
13:44John Fetterman dressed like a daddy
13:45and got custody of his kids.
13:48He just wears sweatshirts, right?
13:50It's just a range of sweatshirts.
13:51Interesting.
13:52So it wasn't just Mark Wayne Mullen.
13:53Who else found themselves
13:54in the hot seat
13:55before the Senate this week?
13:57There was Tulsi
13:57and there was cash.
13:59Yes.
13:59It was Tulsi Gabbard
14:00aka the National Intelligence Director
14:02and she's like one of the mamas
14:04at a rough parent teacher conference.
14:06Your child is a piece of shit.
14:10Now, a question to the panel.
14:12Why might Tulsi be so evasive
14:14in her answers
14:16about the U.S. strikes on Iran?
14:18Because the president
14:19keeps making claims
14:21about why we went to war with Iran
14:24and everything that he's saying
14:27is contradicted by the report
14:29that our Director of National Intelligence
14:31submitted to the Congress
14:33and to the president.
14:35Here's what Tulsi Gabbard
14:36campaigned on back in 2020.
14:38He's on the brink of launching
14:39a very stupid
14:40and costly war with Iran.
14:42We have to stop President Trump
14:44from starting a war with Iran
14:45and risk direct U.S. conflict
14:47with Russia.
14:48Conflict that could easily
14:49lead to nuclear war.
14:51The U.S. must not go to war
14:53with Iran.
14:54And by not go to war
14:56she meant we should go to war.
14:58Go to war with Iran, yeah.
15:00That was 2020, Roy.
15:02Things are different now.
15:03Tulsi's testimony was part
15:05of a hearing on global threats
15:06where we also heard
15:07from FBI Director Cash Patel
15:10looking like he's trying
15:10to get the waiter's attention
15:11but the waiter is ignoring him
15:13on purpose.
15:15On Thursday,
15:16the House Select Intelligence Committee
15:18had questions for Cash
15:19over his firing of some FBI agents.
15:23Question, why were the firing
15:24of those FBI agents so concerning?
15:27Because they would have come in handy.
15:29We're at war with Iran
15:30and they could have helped.
15:31Points!
15:32I did it!
15:35Cash fired the agents
15:37in charge of monitoring threats
15:39from Iran.
15:40These last two stories
15:42have been rough, man.
15:43Tulsi Gabbard's a Hindu,
15:44this guy's an Indian.
15:45It's like, what did I do?
15:48Did you always know
15:49his first name,
15:50full name was Cashyap?
15:51Yeah.
15:52It's like when you find out
15:53like your homeboy's name
15:54is T-Bone
15:55but his real name
15:55is like Douglas.
15:56So you're like, really?
15:58Do you think his dad
16:00wanted to name him
16:01Money Talks?
16:05But instead
16:06they went with Cashyap?
16:12The big question
16:13people have for Cash Patel
16:14this week is
16:15what are those?
16:18Oh.
16:19All week,
16:19people have been roasting
16:20the custom one-of-a-kind
16:22Nike Dunk Lows
16:23that director Patel
16:24debuted at a seminar.
16:25Let's take a closer look
16:26at these sneakers.
16:27I don't know if there are
16:28any hypebeasts out there
16:29watching, but
16:30these are custom.
16:31The number nine
16:32is specific
16:33because Cash is
16:34the ninth FBI director.
16:36And if you look on the tongue,
16:37it has this personal
16:38K-dollar sign,
16:40H logo.
16:41The right shoe
16:42on the back there.
16:43No.
16:44That's the FBI model.
16:46And then the left shoe
16:47has the Punisher skull
16:48because he's just
16:49a giant fucking dork.
16:51Like, why?
16:51I just have to say
16:53I don't like Cash Patel.
16:55I don't like what he does.
16:56But I like that he's having fun.
17:00Like, I'm going to get sneakers
17:01with my name on him.
17:03He's showing up
17:04to hockey games.
17:05He's popping champagne.
17:07He's getting silly shoes made.
17:09It's a good time.
17:10This is what you would do
17:11if you were FBI director.
17:13A hundred percent.
17:14Never vote for me.
17:16Never.
17:24Welcome back.
17:25It's time for
17:26the offender meter.
17:27Teams have to tell us
17:28who's the offender,
17:29what they did,
17:30and who they offended.
17:31Put an offender
17:32on the screen, please.
17:33Who's that offender, team?
17:35Is that John Oliver?
17:38After, like,
17:39eight whoppers, maybe.
17:41See, I'm a radio guy.
17:42I recognize people's voices.
17:43No idea what anyone looks like.
17:44Oh, well, this guy
17:44sounds like this.
17:45Eh.
17:46Oh, right?
17:47That is Massachusetts
17:49federal judge
17:50Brian Murphy.
17:52Who do you all suspect
17:53that Judge Brian Murphy
17:55offended?
17:55Did he talk shit
17:56about Ben Affleck?
17:58Brian Murphy offended
17:59HHS director
18:01RFK Jr.
18:02seen here telling children
18:04that Sprite causes lupus?
18:08How did Judge Murphy
18:09offend RFK Jr.?
18:11Did he strike down
18:12a vaccine policy,
18:13saying it was not
18:14founded in science?
18:15Point!
18:18On Monday,
18:19Judge Murphy blocked RFK
18:20from policy changes
18:21that were recommended
18:22by his hand-picked
18:23advisory committee,
18:24or as Greg Kelly put it.
18:25Okay, so, um,
18:27we'll have to give kids
18:2872 vaccines
18:29all over again?
18:31Is that what's going on here?
18:33What was that music?
18:37That was Indiana Jones
18:38running from the boulder music.
18:40The vaccines are coming.
18:42You got to run.
18:43Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
18:55vaccine schedule and as part of his decision judge murphy brought up one very specific case
19:02involving which musical fan base is it the k-pop people oh this is this is domestic baby is it
19:09um
19:10insane clown posse
19:14juggalos
19:14are you for real you're just throwing up from half court
19:23in one part of the ruling murphy cited parsons versus united states department of justice which
19:28was a case where the juggalos tried to fight their designation as a gang at this point i'd
19:34rather have the insane clown posse in charge of hhs and that's right rfk jr but at least we
19:40now know they have an interest in science water fire air and dirt fucking magnets how do they work
19:51they don't want to tell you about the magnets it just works you're not allowed to ask those
19:55questions we ain't allowed why is it weird that rfk jr made a bunch of changes to the vaccine schedule
20:02when he was being confirmed they're like are you going to change the vaccine schedule he's like
20:05nah i'm good and then he did it just like donald trump said i'm not going to go to war
20:09with the
20:09run and then he did during his confirmation hearings kennedy said he wouldn't change
20:12the existing vaccine recommendations senator i support vaccines i will i support the childhood
20:20schedule i will do that i mean the worm might have eaten the part of his brain that remembers
20:26saying that what if that was the worm talking one committee member uh dr kirk milhone seen here
20:35asking what it's going to take to get you into a new dodge stratus
20:40dr milhone is a pediatric cardiologist who has suggested that all childhood vaccines including
20:46shots against polio and measles should be optional because the diseases no longer pose the dangers
20:53they once did oh i wonder why they no longer pose that danger maybe because they were eradicated
20:59by vaccines kennedy and his team have been wreaking havoc on vaccines in this country since
21:03taking over uh reducing the number of recommended routine immunizations children receive
21:09from 17 to 11. which diseases does the cdc no longer recommend vaccines for is the gonorrhea
21:18yeah cooties muffs measles rickets some of the illnesses that the cdc no longer recommends
21:25children get regularly vaccinated for hepatitis a hepatitis b rotavirus influenza and covid
21:33yes those diseases build character you got to catch them a new axios poll says that 70
21:41percent of americans have little or no trust in health information from kennedy i just think it's
21:48hard to take medical advice from a guy that sounds like that like he sounds like he's dying he sounds
21:54he sounds like he's actively dying uh does anyone know what other battle rfk jr was fighting right
22:03before judge murphy handed down this week's decision was he wrestling a shark he very well could have
22:08been wrestling a shark uh here's a video the secretary posted last weekend and here we go the crowd is
22:15on
22:15their feet what an entrance also takes on the stack what power a huge suplex what a slam this is
22:23incredible
22:24that's got to be ai i'm okay with him fighting twinkies
22:29twinkies don't mold that's not normal some of my best friends are twinkies
22:37let's see your offender oh these guys oh yeah they're the children of the corn
22:45is the corn elon musk yes yes these two are justin fox and nate kavanaugh who did they offend they
22:55offended you and i my darling keep going why they dismantled dei and they were talking about
23:04what qualifies as dei and their answers were basically anything that has anything to do
23:13with anyone who is not white any fucking thing it was it was it was a bit of a master
23:20class
23:21sorry master race class yes justin and nate offended former government employees by working for doge
23:31and getting a lot of people fired now doge is back in the news uh thanks to this former employees
23:37of elon musk's department of government efficiency in the hot seat tonight deposition videos from
23:42january tied to a civil lawsuit going viral online former doge staffer nathan kavanaugh there look
23:49like he just got his first couple pubic hairs it's always a special day you remember that first two
23:56three pubic hairs still waiting this is the guy who weighed in on how the government was spending
24:03his money he was a staffer at doge uh how did nathan decide what was and wasn't dei he played
24:10roulette
24:11in whatever came up black nathan said he made personal judgment calls on what was and wasn't dei
24:17and lawyers then asked him if that even made sense do you think it's inappropriate in any way that
24:25someone in their 20s with no experience with grants for federal government was making personal judgment
24:32calls about what grants to counsel actually um no i don't think it's inappropriate
24:39why not um i think
24:43a person can have enough judgment from reading books what books would you have read that would
24:48have informed your opinion on what grants to cancel based on dei there there were no books
24:57but i know what dei is i am aware i understand how to detect dei i watched two episodes of
25:03martin and
25:03two episodes of fraser fraser white fraser that's like the white you gotta have a control
25:11you watch fraser to understand the whiteness and then you move over to martin uh it turns out though
25:19they weren't using books to inform their cuts over at doge what did they base their cuts on i feel
25:25like
25:26they used chat gpt survey says fox said he used chat gpt to help identify and eliminate dei programs
25:37i don't like the word eliminate there this meant for example that doge canceled a grant for a museum's
25:43new hvac system because chat gpt mistakenly flagged it as dei panel uh do you think kavanaugh regrets
25:52that people lost their jobs because of him no i think he regrets not having a top or bottom lip
26:02no he does not regret it check it out you don't regret that people might have lost important income
26:08to to support their lives no i think it was more important to reduce the federal deficit from
26:15two trillion dollars to close to zero did you reduce the federal deficit no we didn't
26:20where's ram paul's neighbor when you need him but despite not accomplishing anything nathan
26:28still has fans question who's still a fan of old nate dog out there in the world uh jake paul
26:35pow boys kid rock nick fuentes fraser from fraser don't put this on kelsey grammar don't you do that to
26:44kelsey grammar boy you better google kelsey grammar google it no yes yeah he's the dog is too that's
26:53the crazy uh it is elon musk who's still a fan of nate kavanaugh elon posted a clip of nathan
27:01and said
27:01it was quote legendarily based first off don't talk like that elon elon musk makes me wish mandela was
27:10meaner to the whites when he got out of prison he's all like truth and reconciliation truth and
27:17reconciliation this is what happened that was offended meter we'll be right back
27:34welcome back it is time for missing words here's your headline this innovative chinese robot can make
27:43you a blank a star can make you a delicious breakfast but then 10 minutes later you're
27:52hungry again oh it rhymes with star amber i'll give you that it can make you a car
27:59it can make you go far it can open your jar this innovative chinese robot can make you a centaur
28:06i'm sorry what yes a centaur don't act like y'all don't know about the horse the bottom of my
28:12body
28:13to a horse body the centaur you know you got the the horse you got the horse booty you got
28:18the four
28:18legs that's what i'm saying yeah i'm i'm me the bottom is pony okay yeah i thought you just meant
28:24the two-legged centaur like oh no no no no that would be ridiculous
28:32this in a new paper published by the international journal of robotics research a team of chinese
28:37engineers say that their proposed human centaur system helps with weight distribution for people
28:43who have to carry heavy things and let's just see it in action first
28:52do you need to get like a special centaur lock for when you park it outside you know you don't
28:59want your centaur to get stolen yeah first off you're not gonna take your centaur and lock it up outside
29:05you're gonna take that centaur inside because this thing takes the stairs
29:18that's gonna get you killed does anyone know why a san jose robot made headlines this week
29:26i think one of those waymo delivery cubes ran over a duck okay the robot in san jose made headlines
29:37because he wouldn't stop dancing while he trashed a restaurant the staff tried their best to get the
29:45employee under control the last time i did that i kept saying i'm good i'm good here's your headline
30:04judge dismisses lawsuit from diner who claimed blank who claimed that that hair was yours
30:11uh judge dismisses lawsuit from diner who claimed taco shop salsa was too spicy
30:19oh yeah ah yes not everybody's built to live miles
30:26is there any indication if the person who did the suing was white
30:31do i recall that that person was from like switzerland or something like that germany yes
30:35after trying the green salsa los tacos number one a times square taco spot in 2024 german tourists
30:43said he suffered quote severe physical symptoms here's the story according to the complaint faisal
30:50mans said his tongue burned and his blood pressure soared after eating the green salsa the judge though
30:57dismissed the claim saying months never inquired about the salsa before eating it the restaurant
31:03argued salsa is often spicy we've been tourists in other countries and you be watching other people
31:11how they do their shit but okay it's germany it's not mars
31:16after the tourist told a reporter to try the dangerous salsa for himself
31:20the reporter found quote the salsa was just wasn't that spicy
31:28yes probably a latino reporter denise habanero
31:33the salsa suit was one of three separate lawsuits the man filed against new york area businesses
31:40wow after his six-day visit mr mons also sued a new jersey walmart for discrimination who's the third
31:48group that he sued black people no this is an official organization that has a defined naacp
31:58fdny he also sued the nypd oh mr bond sued the nypd for 10 million dollars after he says he
32:06tried to
32:06report a crime and police failed to respond to his 911 call in a timely manner was the crime that
32:14the
32:14salsa was too spicy i've never been pro-police brutality until this story
32:22that's missing words we're after the break
32:35welcome back it's time for meet in the middle where we find common ground between two different
32:41people all right on one side we have john fetterman ruth vader ginsburg mark levin and hugh hefner and
32:49on the other side there's katie brit nelly secretary of veteran affairs doug collins and winnie the pooh
32:56first up we've got insane brown posse which two of these people worked for ups team michael so
33:03john fetterman he still looks like he works for upx definitely john fetterman and katie brit yep okay
33:11we're going to go fetterman and katie brit okay fetterman's big enough to carry multiple packages he's
33:17like frankenstein he could do it yep john fetterman and nelly both worked for ups
33:23yes john fetterman posted this throwback pic of him driving a ups truck back in the day oh my god
33:32what
33:33happened why is his body so big and his head is so small so fetterman worked for ups as did
33:43nelly
33:44my first job that that actually paid better was ups and that's the one i like to say i took
33:50pride in
33:50because you know that was like nine bucks an hour i thought i was a man yeah that's a lot
33:57all right let's do we're here we're cheer get used to it which two of these people
34:03were high school cheerleaders team amber well hefner probably was that's possible and i would say
34:11girl lady yeah yeah i agree with that i want to say doug collins great and no collins on the
34:17right
34:17i like the idea of mark levin in a little skirt so much that i want to go with mark
34:23levin i don't
34:24need to know that ruth bader ginsburg and katie brett were high school cheerleaders rpg and according
34:33to her yearbook from james madison high school in brooklyn justice ginsburg was a member of the
34:40twirlers oh yeah she was in the twirlers for just a little too long and people were like shouldn't
34:45you stop twirling and she was like nah i'm gonna keep twirling but yeah if you quit twirling now
34:51before you died then we could get some new younger twirlers in next up we've got holy scrap which two
35:00of
35:00these people were really really into scrapbooking i would say squinty guy okay glasses glasses left and
35:09glasses right for some reason i know that hugh hefner in his later years was big into scrapbooking
35:18that was a thing that he would do with his many wives oh so doug collins and hugh hefner hugh
35:23hefner
35:23and secretary of veteran affairs doug collins were both into scrapbooking before collins was elected
35:30to congress in 2012 he actually owned a scrapbooking company and hugh hefner was really into scrapping
35:38uh michael here's a picture of hef with the scrapbooks oh wow there is some blackmail fodder there
35:44yeah you know them pages stuck together though they can't get the black
35:49uh hef had around 3 000 scrapbooks but shockingly that wasn't even his worst vice question
35:57what addiction did hugh hefner share with rapper fat joe uh viagra metamucil
36:05hugh hefner and fat joe were both addicted to diet pepsi
36:10at his peak hugh hefner was drinking up to 30 diet pepsis a day 30 and not only was hugh
36:20hefner
36:20drinking up to 30 a day so was fat joe i got a problem 30 40 a day let me
36:27tell you something if
36:28i went to the doctor god forbid and they tell me yo you have a problem due to diet pepsi
36:33i gotta take
36:34the shit on the chip i gotta just be like i knew i was just doing too much with them
36:39diet pepsi
36:44i feel like if your worst vices are diet pepsi and scrapbooking
36:49your life is a little more boring than i thought hugh hefner's life was
36:53we didn't get to mark levin and winnie the pooh but between the rumors about levin and pooh's
36:58friendship with piglet both of them are associated with a tiny hog more after the break
37:11welcome back it's time for which is higher i'll give you two unrelated numbers from the news you
37:18tell me which is higher now uh saint patrick's day was uh this week so it's the perfect time if
37:25you're
37:25at the house kick back and uh re-watch the entire leprechaun movie franchise
37:30oh i rocks with warwick davis and the leprechauns which brings us to the question which is higher
37:38the number of films where warwick davis played the title role in the leprechaun movie franchise
37:43or the total number of mission impossible movies i think it's tom cruise i think it's tom cruise and
37:50i've always thought that okay so you think there's more mission impossible movies than leprechaun movies
37:56with warwick davis that's right okay team michael i feel like this is a trick question i feel like
38:01obviously there's more mission impossible movies which makes me think it's actually the leprechaun
38:05how many how many mission impossibles do you like six seven there's at least eight if not 20.
38:12uh the number of films where warwick davis plays the title role in the leprechaun movie franchise is
38:17six and the total number of mission impossible movies is eight so the number of mission impossible
38:23movies is indeed higher um now if you don't know the leprechaun movie franchise i know there's some
38:29youngins in here you watch all this new stuff on tick tock leprechaun is a beautiful franchise
38:34about a little evil green dude and he run around and all he wants is his gold
38:42question which of these is a real leprechaun movie title is it leprechaun over the rainbow leprechaun
38:50versus gnome or leprechaun in the hood team michael it's got to be leprechaun in the hood right i
38:55want it to be someone would make that yes i have a long night and i didn't know what else
39:01to watch
39:03the answer is leprechaun in the hood
39:07yes the real movie is leprechaun in the hood question in leprechaun in the hood this is just
39:15for you all right nobody in leprechaun in the hood does the leprechaun rap
39:22i want the answer to be yes i'm gonna say yes yes damn right he does
39:29will you show us the rap okay it's fine that he raps in the movie okay but we aren't going
39:36to be
39:36showing that all right all right we don't want no one wants to see it let's just skip to flip
39:43your
39:43fucking card over and read the next thing i can't live like this i don't like this job or the
40:02people
40:02here that was which is higher we'll be right back
40:11time for a game called who's that baby all right let's see that baby oh the baby first clue they
40:20are
40:20not eligible to run for president they played a kindergarten teacher in a movie and they are
40:25probably the only california governor who could press 500 pounds wow gavin newsom
40:33it's arnold schwarzenegger yes it is arnold schwarzenegger and you can oh same expression
40:40ran out of muscle milk nowadays every celebrity is selling something they always have commercials and
40:45they're influencing us and doing endorsements oh arnold had a commercial over there out there in japan
40:50i'm going to show you a few seconds of an arnold schwarzenegger commercial yeah and i want you all
40:56to tell me what product you think it's selling
41:05what is that ad selling deodorant the pants oh here's what the arnold schwarzenegger commercial was
41:20selling
41:22the yen was strong that was who's that baby i want to thank our guests harry condobolu and
41:30iris shapiro and of course thank you to our team captains amber ruffin and michael ian black
41:37here are a few more stories we're watching man spoils the end of conclave
41:45vp dazzles crowd with invisible bass solo
41:50i'm roywood jr and i'll see you next week for another episode of have i got news for you
41:54and i'm available to be the new bachelorette tonight
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