- 9 hours ago
pushers s01e02 skyfire
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TVTranscript
00:00Get some cocaine for the deal.
00:02You're dealing cocaine on a Wednesday lunchtime, Emily Dawkins?
00:05No. Why would you think that?
00:12Not again!
00:14That's cocaine?
00:16Correct!
00:18Okay. I'm in.
00:20I spend 42% of my spare time playing drug dealer simulations.
00:24I shot Pablo Escobar last night.
00:26Depends.
00:28And I'm currently treasurer to the official The Bill fan club.
00:31Frankly, you need me.
00:33We should sell synthetic cannabinoid.
00:35Nah, but don't touch that shite.
00:36The profit margin with spice is far higher and less risky than cocaine.
00:40Done correctly, we'll turn over £750,000 in year one. Gross.
00:44What a disgusting about money.
00:46You two give us a minute.
00:50I will return in 58 seconds.
00:51I've been a drug dealer for literally 90 seconds.
01:01And my cub is already born.
01:04Shall we call it quits?
01:08Can I be real with you?
01:11I've rarely fucking done my crown.
01:14It's just...
01:16I've come into some packet.
01:18I've got a packet.
01:20How much...
01:24stuff...
01:25do you have?
01:27Do you mean cocaine?
01:29Yes.
01:30Just here, cocaine.
01:32Street value.
01:34500 grand.
01:35Enough to make me a fucking millionaire.
01:39What are we going to do about?
01:42She's annoying.
01:45I'll admit that.
01:46But maybe she's useful.
01:51One more body pounding the streets.
01:54We'd speed things up.
01:55Get me out the climber.
01:57Take me home to my bath or turkey out the beach.
01:59I've returned after one minute.
02:01You win.
02:03Congratulations.
02:04Welcome to the inner rectum.
02:08Sanctum.
02:09Sanctum.
02:16Sanctum.
02:17Please be a surprise McDonalds.
02:25I'll kick this fucking door in.
02:28I can see you standing there.
02:30Unless you have a very tall dog.
02:32Who wears human clothes.
02:35And a cerebral puzzler.
02:37Open up.
02:40Come on, mate.
02:41This wipe won't sell itself.
02:43And you'll never guess what minibus me says, won't they?
02:46Is it?
02:46It's his minibus.
02:49Drugs are good for you.
02:50They're not.
02:51They are.
02:52They are.
02:53They're burning bugs.
02:56You think they want people to slow down for them things?
03:00Listen.
03:01I'm telling you.
03:02Drugs are good for you.
03:04Name me one person who's ever died from drugs.
03:08Michael Jackson.
03:09Alright, Wikipedia.
03:11Listen.
03:11If drugs were that bad, would your man not tell her he'll be doing them all the time?
03:15What man not tell me?
03:18The man in the clothes.
03:20It's like a suit.
03:23The man in the suit thing.
03:26Mr. Bobby.
03:28No.
03:29It's more...
03:31It's more grey.
03:33Michael Goof.
03:35Big fucker.
03:36Barryman.
03:37Hobbits.
03:39Gandalf.
03:40That's the fella.
03:41He's a fictional character.
03:45No, he ain't.
03:46I was drinking with him in the pub last night.
03:50Yeah?
03:58Yeah?
04:04Right, fuck off and sell coke now!
04:05No!
04:06No!
04:23Long pay.
04:33You find the dirty money into a cash business, okay, so you keep two sets of...
05:10Have you ever been considered expansion?
05:16Into, like, human trafficking, organising, all that fun stuff?
05:20What? No! What?
05:23No! I meant even beyond a Braybrook!
05:30All of this, and that blue thing, to here, that's some of the fuckers turf, man.
05:39The Braybrook estate is here, New Journey.
05:42Oh.
05:54What if we set up a legit business to clean our money?
06:03That speed bump over there is broken. Right, I went fast like you meant to. I'm the bastard in me
06:08facing.
06:09I think you meant to understood speed bumps.
06:15Listen, this business shite. You stick to being a disabled drugs donkey, and I'll focus on being criminal mastermind. Yeah?
06:23Ow.
06:28We should use a charity.
06:32It'll be a cover for the cash.
06:37When we inspect a venues toilet, we could instead be dropping a special delivery.
06:51Are you talking about doing poos?
06:55No.
06:56Oh.
06:57I'm talking about cocaine.
07:01Oh, right. Good. Yeah.
07:02That's where that's weird.
07:04Then, any donations we get, we feed through the charity.
07:12If we do this, right, my mum can dish and redesign it in the logo.
07:18Cos this here, right, this is fucking shite.
07:20This looks like it were drawn by a little blind girl.
07:24That's because it was.
07:28Yeah, what?
07:28Her name is Jane Woo, and she prefers visually impaired person with restricted growth.
07:33Which reminds me, have you considered human resources?
07:36Yes.
07:37I never thought I'd say this sentence, but let's recruit a criminal drugs gang.
07:47Whip.
07:47I didn't agree to bring you more random fuckers in.
07:50Don't you want to get rid of cocaine as quick as possible?
07:59Got it.
07:59Have you met my mate?
08:00Do not say mini-box music.
08:05Ewan!
08:06Are you pissy tile?
08:08Yes, big!
08:09It's a tile that everyone tries to aim the piss at.
08:13I hit it!
08:14Oh, what about Terry the rodent?
08:17He went down for topping an informant.
08:19He's a rat who eats rats.
08:22A rodent.
08:24I think rodents have a genre of animals, not Luke.
08:30Oh, Gandalf!
08:32Luke!
08:33There he is now.
08:34You all right, Gandalf, mate?
08:35How's it going?
08:37Seriously.
08:38He fucking loves his powder.
08:42Are you sure that guy's on telly?
08:46And Lee Smith!
08:47He's fresh up the pen after he's hit for murder.
08:51Or were it rape?
08:52Pretty sure it won't rape.
08:54Lee!
08:55Lee!
08:55Lee, mate!
08:56Were it rape?
08:58How do you know these boys?
09:02Of course.
09:04Cognitive.
09:04Self-change.
09:07Let's not need to be discreet.
09:11People the police don't know about.
09:18Disabled people.
09:20More of your lot?
09:21Right.
09:22Definitely have a minibus machine then.
09:24Me?
09:25Can I bring the minibus?
09:26Good idea.
09:29Disability boss is a perfect way to get around unseen.
09:37Who else did you have in mind for this organised crime group?
09:40How would you feel about joining a gang?
09:46Can I make a documentary about it?
09:52No.
09:53What skills does he have?
09:55He's pretty good at modern dance.
09:59Oh, yeah, right.
10:01Where would the crazy bin without the backing dancers?
10:03Mm.
10:05Distractions.
10:07That's it.
10:08Harry will keep up BTU's social media presence.
10:16We're gonna need my muscle too.
10:17No offence, Maz.
10:18I'm taken.
10:20I'm a kitten.
10:20Meow.
10:21I know the guy.
10:28Watch out.
10:29Flying!
10:32I didn't get it.
10:33A slightly earlier version of that fucking muppet who lives in a bin.
10:37It's everybody.
10:38It's everyone.
10:40Men.
10:41Women.
10:43Children.
10:45Pigeons.
10:46Me.
10:47Pigeons.
10:48Okay, right.
10:49My turn.
10:50I reckon we need my ma.
10:51I reckon we need a proper computer expert.
10:56Wait, isn't that my job?
10:57Click on start application.
11:00Who?
11:01Start application.
11:08You've closed the application page.
11:11I will fucking slap you, you robot bastard.
11:15Give me my application back.
11:16Your mum?
11:18She's been a bit down lately, bless her.
11:21Her disability thing has been downgraded because MS is invisible.
11:24I like some ghosts.
11:27What does a 70-year-old woman know about selling drugs?
11:36I run a youth club tuck shop in my spare time.
11:40I do sweets mostly and a bit of weed.
11:44Don't cack yourself.
11:45Keeps it cheap and weak.
11:48It's like I like me men.
11:49Ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:51Okay.
11:52Um, Harry, are you sure you're not making a documentary about gangsters?
12:04Don't look at me.
12:06Don't look at me.
12:08Don't look at me.
12:08Don't look at me.
12:08It's a fiction.
12:09Not a doggle.
12:11Hey.
12:12Feel me.
12:14No.
12:14So, this is...
12:17Brownhawk.
12:19We should have discrete code names.
12:22I'm Brownhawk.
12:23Sounds like a turd.
12:26I'll be Shirley.
12:27As in, Shirley, he cut down ten pints in five minutes.
12:32I can.
12:33I have.
12:34I will.
12:35If you're Shirley, can I be better?
12:38I'm Minibus Miss A.
12:39I refuse to take a code name.
12:41And, um, I'll be too deep in again.
12:46How about you start with a rousing speech?
12:52Fuck off.
12:54Right.
12:54So, we're gonna use a charity as cover to sell loads of cocaine!
13:11Oh, fuck.
13:12Right.
13:28What's going on, dick-end?
13:30We're starting another drugs gang, Mum.
13:32Come on.
13:34Hey, we're off to tan, Sean.
13:37I think that yellow scene's probably liver failure.
13:40I'm living the dream.
13:41Same as not mine.
13:43Okay, gang.
13:43Social media contact time.
13:45Tris ring.
13:47Baby drip.
13:49Okay.
13:51Tris.
13:52It's all gonna be like this.
13:54I am...
13:57a disabled...
13:59toilet.
14:00Ben, yeah.
14:01My logo will be way better than this confusing shite.
14:05Well, we have to redo them anyway.
14:07The terminology's out of date.
14:09How many do you print?
14:10One hundred.
14:12Right.
14:13Thousand.
14:14Wow.
14:16Do you have any examples of your work, you and Sheridan?
14:18Yeah, they do, man.
14:22Mona, getting really fucking loosened.
14:27No, Leonardo da Vinci painted that.
14:29I'm pretty sure Leo didn't draw the massive shoot.
14:37Oh, we could get that printed on stickers with a QR code.
14:48You'll make more business.
14:50Yeah, yeah, I fucking love stickers.
14:53Oh, but Mona could be snorting a line off of Vincent Van Dyke's arsehole or something.
14:59Yeah, well, we could certainly use the image given it's in the public domain.
15:02Is that what you're worried about?
15:05I don't copy my lawyers.
15:09You bastards should be worrying about Lenny.
15:12Henry?
15:13Why?
15:14He's the big bastard around here.
15:17Once, he had a chunk of a rival dealer's brain.
15:21I heard Lenny took someone's eyes out and boiled them.
15:24And then he spat them both back into his head.
15:26Yeah, did he nail an entire family to the front of the Wilco's, including the dog.
15:32Lenny Henry did all of that.
15:36Why?
15:43Oh, my God!
15:46Have you been kidnapped?
15:49Baby drip?
15:50What?
15:50No, I'm at a silent nude tech-free yoga and ayahuasca retreat in Cheshire.
15:55Not your email.
15:56Why have you hired four people?
15:58Seven people.
16:00Me, Hope and Harry will now be taking their wage.
16:06Emily, I'm concerned.
16:08Do we need to talk about your mental health?
16:11No, don't worry.
16:13We've had a big donation.
16:17Check that account.
16:20John.
16:20Wow, five grand.
16:22Great work.
16:23Anyway, I bet to go, um, enjoy your, um, nakedness.
16:32Bye.
16:33And action.
16:35One, two, three.
16:39They cocaine's in shot.
16:44From the top, then.
17:00Oh, what up?
17:00Oh, here, man.
17:02It's Mel Bacon.
17:05Got a special delivery.
17:08I'm still boss, right?
17:09Of course, Brownhawk.
17:13I'm never gonna be able to call you that without thinking about shit.
17:22Oh, being back.
17:24I love being back.
17:28I love this place, man.
17:30It's got it all moon, man.
17:33Dead people stuff.
17:34And all these books just waiting to be read.
17:37But not by me.
17:38By some other boring cunt.
17:52I'm asked to draw a new logo.
17:59Oh, oh, my God.
18:01Are you okay?
18:06Ewan?
18:08It's Leo.
18:15Oh, fuck.
18:18I didn't know you were still around here.
18:20Still at the GI with Pops and Harry.
18:23Dwyane, say hi to Ewan.
18:25He was my...
18:26In school, we were...
18:30Well...
18:31Yeah?
18:33Ewan, this is Dwyane.
18:34All right, fella.
18:36What's in it?
18:36What's in what?
18:37What's in your hand, a fiver?
18:39No, like we're going for a fist bump.
18:40Give me a fiver, bumhead.
18:42Or a dad's gonna kill you.
18:43Don't say that.
18:44It's naughty.
18:47And stop doing that.
18:49So, is Ben out then, yeah?
18:51Nah.
18:52But I take this one to see him every week.
18:54Pack it in!
18:55Look, Dwyane.
18:57There's a bin.
18:58Get it, Dwyane.
18:59Get it!
19:02Aw.
19:04I reckon you should know who his old man is, you know?
19:07Yeah.
19:08Well, er...
19:09Send him my love.
19:11Er, not love.
19:13Just say, erm...
19:14All right, Ben.
19:16Actually, maybe don't say that.
19:18Erm, don't even mention to him, er...
19:20Not to Ben.
19:21Yeah.
19:22I haven't ever here, man.
19:26Eh?
19:30New coke on the Brayabrook, eh?
19:33Why are you here?
19:34Why now?
19:38Here you go, gov.
19:44Yeah, they've got her there.
19:48Bosh, your torch is on.
20:01If you swipe up, there's a menu that should have a little torch symbol on it.
20:09Excuse me!
20:12Stop!
20:13Stop right there!
20:15I've got to survive!
20:17Would it be fun?
20:20So, are you two still, erm...
20:24Still...
20:26Still...
20:27...having, erm...
20:30...fucks?
20:31Fucking?
20:32Me and Ben are done.
20:33Aye.
20:34Only see good guys now.
20:36Oh, right, yeah.
20:37Yeah.
20:38How's that working out for you?
20:40I...
20:41I haven't had sex in...
20:42...two years.
20:43Oh, that's fantastic.
20:45You think so, do you?
20:46Yeah, I do, man, yeah.
20:47Luke, we are.
20:48Can I be real with you?
20:51Yeah.
20:52You're the most...
20:54...beautiful thing in this town.
20:57You always was.
21:00And...
21:02...you always will be.
21:04What?
21:05I'm...
21:06...more beautiful than the shrine?
21:09Well, apart from that, obviously.
21:12You know, in here he's fit as the shrine for a random dead boy.
21:16Yeah.
21:17Dead stable.
21:24You really need to be careful with these dry terrain tyres, you know.
21:28You might claim to be the toughest on the market, but...
21:32...they suffer terrible wear.
21:34Oh, there you are, what's this?
21:37Erm...
21:37...a backpack?
21:39No, I meant, what model?
21:41My daughter's right into this pattern-y sort of thing.
21:45This zip is nice and smooth, isn't it?
21:48Eh? Does it ever...
21:49...get snaked?
21:52Just it.
21:56Erm...
21:56...I really ought to get off.
22:00Where you ought to? Anywhere nice?
22:02That's not my bloody business, actually, is it?
22:05Well, safe travels.
22:07Oh, the torch is on.
22:14Bye!
22:16I've been fucked.
22:18...Bone Hogs.
22:20And my sharp thick, man.
22:28This...
22:28This is theatre!
22:29This is theatre!
22:31Do you think, oh, the hogs are getting there?
22:34Who?
22:34You and Sheridan has decided we should have codenames.
22:37Can man be Shirley? I've always thought it sounded so glamorous.
22:43Shirley's taken.
22:54Why the fuck would you do that?
22:57Stab your enemies?
23:04I'm still colouring it in.
23:07Is that me?
23:09Yeah.
23:10Why do I have clothes?
23:14Why is that toilet on fire?
23:19Fire's cool, man.
23:21So how do you like it?
23:23You and...
23:25This is a hate crime.
23:31Do you like it?
23:40Of course!
23:42On a page of the question has a lot of SR7.
23:42How do you like it?
23:43We'll see you next time.
23:44How do you like it?
23:45How do you like it?
23:53How do you like it?
23:53How do you like it?
23:57How do you like it?
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