- 21 hours ago
pushers s01e05 skyfire
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00:00Why aren't you picking up, ma'am?
00:01Alright.
00:03Yeah.
00:04Call in our morning.
00:05If you're alive, pick up, will ya?
00:08And also, if you're alive, ma'am, do you want me to get some milk for ya?
00:19Kind regards from fucking...
00:21Oh, what's his fucking name?
00:23From Lenny!
00:24Oh, fuck!
00:25Take off me! We're family, man!
00:28You're, erm...
00:29You're my second cousin, man!
00:30I'm not your fucking second cousin, I'm your fucking first cousin!
00:33Once removed!
00:34Well, we are cousins.
00:36I mean, Lenny is your great man, right?
00:39Yeah, but she's married to her cousin.
00:42Right.
00:42And then my cousin is your cousin's cousin, so I'm...
00:45Your cousin's cousin's your fucking cousin, which is my fucking cousin, which means I'm your fucking cousin!
00:50I'll be fucked, mate!
00:51It's the fucking thing!
00:51You know, I'm sorry, cuz, but you're gonna have to kiss your teeth fucking goodbye!
00:56Listen! Listen!
00:58It's me first day, man!
00:59As a, as a legit charity, man!
01:01It's me first fucking day, man!
01:03I'm done with crime!
01:04You are?
01:04Yeah, I'm done with it!
01:05I'm retired, man!
01:06I swear, yeah!
01:07No, come on, look!
01:08It's a fucking dog with flip-flops!
01:10It's a fucking what?
01:11See you later, cuz!
01:13Take care of it.
01:14Lovely day out.
01:16Think I'm gonna wash the car.
01:18Sit down, Dad.
01:19I might even check my tire pressure.
01:21So sit down.
01:24We never talk about anything.
01:30We bury it and then fill awkward silences drinking tea.
01:55That is cold.
01:59That's because I made it yesterday and forgot to wash it up.
02:03You were right.
02:06Pat and Ewan were using me.
02:11They were cuckoos and I was their tits.
02:18But it's over.
02:21It's not over!
02:23We're gonna carry on, darling, in loads of space.
02:31And the gummy bears?
02:33I know they're marijuana.
02:35Do they use them bears to hook you?
02:37To control you?
02:39Nobody is being coerced into taking drugs.
02:50Not fit for human consumption.
02:53Are they human, though?
02:57And your friends at the charity?
02:58Well, they also, you know, was hairy.
03:03Tit.
03:04Hope?
03:05Tit.
03:06The angry drunk fella?
03:07Brought in to be a tit.
03:10Even the sweet lad with the van?
03:12My neighbors.
03:14Tit.
03:14Oh, Maz.
03:16Look.
03:16Buns.
03:17Thanks, but no thanks.
03:19Is he diabetes?
03:20Ain't got diabetes.
03:21Really?
03:22I thought we all had a thing.
03:24I thought yours was...
03:26What about the flapjack man and his mum?
03:29They are gone.
03:32Is me mum here?
03:33Mum!
03:34Why do you look like a disgrace?
03:39You keep candy.
03:41Mum!
03:41Where's your other sock, mate?
03:42Got to find it.
03:44Thought I dressed like a normie, doing normie work.
03:47Anyways, my mum's nan's cousin Kango
03:49just threw me at the back of his van and tried to steal my teeth.
03:53Why are you claiming us
03:57upset for him
03:58moving bits out of each other?
04:02We've been fucking about on Lenny Kennedy's turf, right?
04:05We all need to get out of town now.
04:07Maz is meant to tell her somebody's about to get stabbed.
04:10Nobody's going to get stabbed, all right?
04:11We're about to be gone like that.
04:16Like what?
04:19Like...
04:20Like...
04:21That.
04:22Dead.
04:22Are we?
04:23We all love Harry, don't we?
04:24Yay!
04:25Yay!
04:26We love Harry!
04:27Fucking love Harry!
04:28Yeah!
04:29Dead.
04:29Like that.
04:30I think we need to tell him.
04:31Tell me what?
04:32We have been selling spice in addition to your cocaine across Bracklington for the past 33 days.
04:38Surprise!
04:38So, the charity...
04:41It's legitimate.
04:43Totally.
04:45We're doing so well.
04:48We're actually expanding.
04:52This is so, so fucking bad.
04:55You lot, man.
04:57You're not suited to violence.
05:00A nutter who smells like me nan's bathroom carpet.
05:05A genuine legend and minibus fucking messiah who's way more into minibuses than he is gang warfare.
05:16He is right.
05:18I'm not really keen on gang warfare.
05:20Fucking quitting them, yeah?
05:22K-W-I-T.
05:24I'm done.
05:24Fuck off!
05:26Let me deal my spice.
05:32You!
05:32See you!
05:33Dead!
05:34Dead!
05:35Dead!
05:35Mum!
05:37Dead.
05:37Like that.
05:40Mum.
05:41Right.
05:42I need to go cause my smoking hot girlfriend is outside.
05:50This was good.
05:54We should talk more often.
05:58No more secrets.
06:00No more sneaking around.
06:02Hmm.
06:09I'm calling these a disguise.
06:20Right, come on.
06:27Fuck!
06:28Fuck!
06:30My entire foot soldiers are already watching us.
06:33My mum still ain't picking up.
06:35I need to get to the boozer, man.
06:37Did you talk to my sister?
06:38Yeah.
06:38And get me gun.
06:39Shit, man.
06:41How do I get past the absolute brick shit house, eh?
06:44Yeah.
06:44I have a plan.
06:48I was thinking, we might go away for a few nights.
06:51Saw her house has opened a new place at the pumping station in Alpsdray.
06:54It's called the pumping station.
06:59Isn't that a bit old, Matron?
07:05No, it's called Soho House.
07:07I thought we could go there and have sex.
07:10Really?
07:12Great.
07:12Yeah.
07:14Erm, smashing.
07:17So your dad's a bit poor then?
07:22Erm, no.
07:24No, I think he's relatively well, eh?
07:27Daddy!
07:28Kayla.
07:29Hi, Joanna.
07:30And you must be Emily.
07:32Yes, hello.
07:33Shoes off these.
07:34Daddy's got OCD.
07:36Undiagnosed, but we all know it's there.
07:38There's some house shoes you can borrow just there and that's awesome.
07:42Oh, like slippers.
07:45What?
07:46They're entirely different to slippers.
07:48Ah, is they?
07:49Yes, they are.
07:50They're house shoes.
07:52Anyway, that lamb has been in the slow cooker with half a bottle of Beaujolais since 4am.
07:58I don't like wine-based shoes.
08:01The tannins make my throat tight.
08:03And lamb daddy.
08:04Really?
08:05Oh.
08:06Wow.
08:08Come on ladies, follow me.
08:10Is she that famous?
08:13I feel like I know him.
08:17He's just got one of those big faces.
08:19Though he did once feature on an episode of Rogue Traders.
08:22Oh yeah, that'll be it.
08:36Ta-da.
08:39Fucking hell.
08:41Look like my nan.
08:42Nah.
08:43And you look sexy.
08:44You say I'm a nan in sex there?
08:46Okay.
08:47So.
08:48I've been thinking about how to spend my share of money.
08:52You thinking of investing in a pension?
08:54Don't do it fella, it's a fucking pyramid scheme.
08:56Actually, I was going to propose to Carl.
08:59We are going to Liverpool to pursue my dreams.
09:03Directing Holly Oaks.
09:04Who the fuck's fucking Ca-
09:06Carl?
09:07My boyfriend.
09:08Fucking hell mate.
09:10You kept gorgeous Carl quiet.
09:12Hey, congrats man.
09:13He works in Taysbury's.
09:15And, oh, he's extremely handsome.
09:19Does he know you're going to pop the old down when we need no more shagging about?
09:22I don't think so.
09:23Oh, erm, how do you think I should ask him?
09:26Just look at him.
09:27Right eyeball to right eyeball and say fancy it.
09:31Marriage and all that shit.
09:34Oh, no, sorry ladies.
09:36I thought you were some drug dealers.
09:49Jojo Rabbit!
09:51You know, I don't love that nickname.
09:52It reminds people of the Nazis.
09:54Are you still pursuing the recorder?
09:55No, I'm just carrying it round as an accessory.
09:58I've got my grade two tomorrow.
10:00Hello.
10:01I'm assuming that you're Jo's sister and not a tiny little waiter.
10:10So tell me, how did you guys get together?
10:13I love a meet-cute.
10:14Emily works for my charity.
10:15Just don't have the boss.
10:31Wait a minute.
10:33How about you two?
10:36How did you meet?
10:38Well, it was at my gym.
10:40Weight weren't the only thing you picked up that day.
10:43I also picked up her number.
10:49April 2013, gangland boss's daughter kidnapped.
10:55And two months later to the day, he made me Mrs. Lenny Kennedy.
11:02You all right?
11:05Sorry.
11:06I went down for the wrong call.
11:14Lenny Kennedy's her old man.
11:17Don't worry, love.
11:18I'll get El Remily out of this mess.
11:22Did you, um, take his name?
11:27Yeah, we're sticklers for tradition in this house.
11:30Tradition and 45-second cold water showers.
11:34It's straight to the point, efficient, and the environment wins.
11:38I took Mummy's name.
11:40Don't mention the fucking whore, Mummy.
11:43Princess, put me off my tartare.
11:48Right, well, okay, now I think we're ready for the family talent show.
11:54Eh?
11:57Shall we...what?
11:59My little dumpling.
12:01Meine Liebling.
12:03You're my little choochie face.
12:09My coochie coochie woochie little choochie face.
12:13Every time I look at you, I sigh.
12:19And you're my little teddy bear.
12:23My lovey, lovey, dovey little teddy bear.
12:27Shhh!
12:28Shhh!
12:31We get in there, keep our heads down, we'll wait for man.
12:34We get Daphne, lie to Leo, leave Brat forever.
12:44Let's hope the bird is ready for.
12:46You and Netta, and Danson Abbey.
12:50Just a couple of 86-year-old ladies.
12:53Right, listen.
12:55If they tackle us, strangle me your stockings.
13:00Okay.
13:01Okay.
13:08Look at that.
13:10What a twat.
13:14Move it!
13:15Natalie's a gin.
13:16There you go, love, yeah?
13:17Carry up to ya.
13:18Alright, no problem.
13:19Mind how you go, yeah?
13:21Yeah.
13:21We need to pull a nip out.
13:24Blast them.
13:29Harry?
13:30You in?
13:32The usual.
13:37Alright, ma'am.
13:46Bingo!
13:47Me other shop!
13:51Oh, no!
13:52The Shok!
13:53Oh!
13:58The Shok!
14:05Oh!
14:06Oh!
14:06Oh!
14:08Eurgh!
14:09Eurgh!
14:10Eurgh!
14:10Gand me back up!
14:11I'm not being saved by a busted grass!
14:14How long have they been here?
14:18None of your fucking business.
14:21Has that bastard cooked me bacon?
14:22Because it smells like a fucking ass.
14:24Why, right here?
14:27Has that bastard cooked my bacon?
14:29Just tell me!
14:31Together we're an oochie-coochie, oochie-coochie.
14:36Oochie-coochie, oochie-coochie.
14:42Oh, I thought you'd fallen in.
14:48Fallen in? Doddy, I find your comment quite ableist, actually.
14:51Oh, my sincerest fucking apologies.
14:53Well...
14:54Well, you're next as our guest.
14:57Really?
14:58Please, shake the floor.
14:59Oh, go on then, yeah, show us your skills.
15:01Erm, OK, I've got one.
15:05It's a tongue twister.
15:08Oh!
15:10How much...
15:13What could a...
15:14What fish...
15:15...short clip?
15:17What fish...
15:19...could...
15:19...short feed?
15:23Oh, OK.
15:33I know who you are.
15:36Do you?
15:39I mean...
15:40...even...
15:40...I don't know who I am, so...
15:44The Rally Tri-Star.
15:46Three-speed trike.
15:48I fixed your flat tyre.
15:51Oh.
15:52Yeah, yeah, you did, actually.
15:56Thanks.
15:57My turn, Daddy.
15:58Yeah, please.
16:07She does this a lot.
16:08Small bladder.
16:09It's part of her disability.
16:11Hey!
16:15WHISTLE BLOWS
16:16Oh!
16:22Stop moving.
16:24It's the noob damage from the busted MS.
16:28Wait, you stop shaking.
16:29It's my bastard CP.
16:34Fucking hell, someone's gonna lose a finger.
16:45I'm off to fetch me makeup.
16:47Don't.
16:51Where do you think you're going?
16:54I need some air.
16:56I feel a bit crazy.
17:01Right, well don't puke on my gravel.
17:04Absolute nightmare to clean, is that?
17:19Oi!
17:22I'll have to clean those fucking house shoes now.
17:26Sorry about that.
17:29Just leave them there and get another pair when you come in.
17:47I can't believe that worked. They've gone.
17:51So, what now?
17:52We'll keep a low profile, right? And we'll wait for mum.
17:55We should definitely keep our heads down.
17:57Yeah, yeah.
17:59Deaf on.
18:00Deaf on.
18:01Turn around.
18:03Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around.
18:09Turn around.
18:10Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.
18:16Turn around.
18:17Every now and then I get a little bit lonely.
18:20Every now and then I get a little bit lonely.
18:20It's like the best of all the years have gone by.
18:23Turn around my eyes.
18:26Every now and then I fall apart.
18:28Wait, wait, wait, wait, what, what, what, what?
18:30Did we go a bit too early?
18:31What?
18:31Did we go a bit too early?
18:32Oh.
18:37You know, I'm gonna have to leave BRAC again.
18:40For good this time.
18:41Are you gonna tell Leo?
18:42I could just tell everyone I've died and that's why I'm not around anymore.
18:46Hmm.
18:47Oh, I didn't know Women's Institute was meeting today.
18:51And, er, what can I get for you two lovely ladies?
18:55Er...
18:58I'm off to, erm...
19:00Not here.
19:07I guess you wanna know I'm dressed like Nora Butter.
19:11Can I tell you later?
19:13Cos, well, erm...
19:16The thing is, I...
19:18I love...
19:20How you are with Dwayne.
19:22Right, right, yeah, me too, Mum.
19:23Yeah.
19:24And...
19:26My brother.
19:28If I were to go away again...
19:35Could you just come with me?
19:50Could you just come with me?
19:54Fuck!
19:57Fuck!
19:58Oh, fuck.
20:01Anyone for cheesecake?
20:09I can take away the crime.
20:11But they'll never take away the memories.
20:13Rampton High Security Hospital.
20:15Remember when you found that razor blade in the mashed potato?
20:18Dovegate.
20:19And full-sutting.
20:20Full-sutting, yeah.
20:21That guy with mental health came at you with his kettle.
20:24Full of sugar, yeah.
20:25He was gonna throw it all over you.
20:26All over me head?
20:27Cos the sugar sticks...
20:28Yeah, gonna burn your face off, right?
20:29But...
20:30He'd forgotten to put water in.
20:32Came out like a brick of treacle.
20:34You need to tell him the truth.
20:36I will.
20:36No.
20:38No.
20:38You's open.
20:40Yeah.
20:40Thanks, man.
20:43You and Emma Grash.
20:46Back at school, I told them that you started the fires.
20:55That's why I didn't get into trouble.
21:01I know.
21:04I've always done.
21:06Look, it's fine.
21:07If it weren't that, I would have been done for something else.
21:11Killing a dog or something.
21:15I killed a dog when we were nine.
21:18And you were right.
21:20We should stop now.
21:23Go legit.
21:25Before someone gets hurt.
21:28Hey.
21:30Hey.
21:30You found me mum.
21:32You alright, mum?
21:33Hey.
21:34Yeah.
21:34She's alright.
21:35Nice one.
21:36Yeah, she's alright.
21:37Vodka tonne, mum.
21:39Please.
21:40As you're asking.
21:41Yeah, yeah.
21:41Vodka tonne.
21:42Maz, mate.
21:43Vodka tonne from me mum.
21:45Thanks, mate.
21:46I'll be right ahead.
21:48No.
21:49What's that then?
21:50Suicide attempt?
21:51No.
21:52I'm a kidnapped.
21:54That's a suicide attempt.
21:572004.
21:572022.
22:03And you won't believe this.
22:08Joe's dad is Lenny Kennedy.
22:14Who's Joe?
22:14Thanks, mate.
22:16Your job?
22:17Posture.
22:20No.
22:21You're fingering Lenny's kid.
22:23No.
22:24We're not fingering person.
22:28Lots of cuddling.
22:31Does that count?
22:35No.
22:36No.
22:36No.
22:38No.
22:39No.
22:40Fuck him.
22:42Fucking get him.
22:43Fucking get him, mum.
22:44Oh.
22:45No.
22:48Oh, fuck.
22:49I should've just shot him with Daphne.
22:54You're in shot.
22:56Fucking hell.
22:59What are you doing?
23:03Luke, it works on babies and dogs and it works on you.
23:07You are mad.
23:10I fucking told you some of them were getting stabbed. Here, check Daphne. You'll need her now.
23:16What have you done?
23:21For fuck's sake. It's not what it looks like.
23:25Sorry, but has anyone gone for an ambulance?
23:33You're my little choochie face.
23:36And you're my teddy bear.
23:40Together we're a choochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie.
23:45Choochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie.
23:49Choochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie-oochie.
23:55Hey!
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