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00:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
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01:58¡No!
02:12¡No!
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04:50La laugh at me, I'm crying, trying
04:54Falling sometimes, sometimes flying
04:58Cry me in a shine of white liners
05:02Cruel, cruel, cruel
05:08Before we get started, submissions for the Ludlow Review are open, so get us your poems and short stories.
05:14I can tell you nothing feels better than seeing your work in print.
05:18My first published piece is still taped on my dad's refrigerator next to a Georgia Bulldogs magnet and the number
05:25of a plumber who died about six years ago.
05:28My stuff's not going on the fridge, because I write about real life, and in real life I pull.
05:34Hm? I'm talking threesomes.
05:36Girl on girl, MILF, DILF, Eli.
05:39What's that?
05:40You wanna get pegged?
05:41Okay.
05:41I have asthma.
05:42Okay, well bring your nebulizer.
05:44Eva, heal girl.
05:45Okay, diving back into Emily Dickinson.
05:49Hey, Walt, got your double espresso in the big cup.
05:52Ah, thank you.
05:53I think our favorite barista might have cut her own bangs.
05:57Something is deeply off.
05:59I can't worry about Beverly right now.
06:00We just heard about a new green initiative and he's...
06:03The trustees are shoving a very complicated policy down my throat.
06:06Okay, you wanna take one of our coffee walks? You can vent.
06:10I don't know.
06:11Morning, Dean Riggs.
06:12Hi.
06:13Oh, Professor Shepard.
06:14Hi, buddy.
06:15Crystal, can you send me a student file?
06:17Gracie Shaw.
06:18She says she has ADHD.
06:20But I think she's just lazy and a little dumb.
06:23Or she's really struggling.
06:25Let's all root for her.
06:28How are you friends with this guy?
06:30We're not close.
06:30I keep them at arm's length.
06:31You two are having dinner tonight at 7.30.
06:34Thank you, Crystal.
06:36Oh, my bad.
06:37Hey, Walt.
06:38Can we talk for...
06:39Oh, oh.
06:39Hi.
06:40How you doing?
06:42Great.
06:43Great.
06:44How'd you sleep?
06:45How did I sleep?
06:46Yeah.
06:47Hmm.
06:48I'm gonna go.
06:48All right.
06:49Let me ask you a question.
06:51Yes, come.
06:51What can I do for you, Greg?
06:52Well, this is about Katie.
06:53Fire away.
06:54Just don't ask how I slept.
06:55That was bone chilling.
06:56What's the deal there?
06:57Nothing.
06:58There was no deal.
06:59Oh, please.
06:59There was an undeniable sexual energy in that room.
07:02I thought it was in Latin America.
07:04But I know.
07:04I know.
07:05You're a gentleman.
07:05You don't kiss and tell.
07:06We didn't kiss.
07:08So, you wanted to, but she said no.
07:12Oh.
07:14She wanted to, but you said no.
07:17How are you doing this?
07:18It's all in the micro-expressions.
07:20Ah.
07:20Come on now.
07:21Give me the goss and we'll get on to your thing.
07:23No.
07:23I'm here because I want to make sure that Katie's job is safe.
07:27Well, her job is absolutely not safe.
07:28She burned down a historic faculty house.
07:31That was an accident.
07:32She also assaulted a professor down at the police precinct.
07:35That was on purpose.
07:36To be clear, I like Katie, but I am also tasked with protecting this institution and I'm struggling with that.
07:43Oh.
07:44Good news.
07:45Struggle's over.
07:46Katie resigned.
07:48No, she didn't.
07:51Wow.
07:52That is big font.
07:55Let me talk to her before you do anything, please, as a friend.
08:00Friend share secrets, Greg.
08:02Really?
08:06All right.
08:09I think Dylan found me charming.
08:12Now we're cooking, Greg.
08:13We're so not cooking.
08:19Ah.
08:20Привет, mamочка.
08:22Uh, what happened to your eye and pants?
08:23Funny story about that.
08:25I was walking down Stone Hill and I fell.
08:29Hilarious.
08:29Yeah.
08:29So, I got your text.
08:30What's up?
08:31Are you okay?
08:31Yes.
08:32Ah.
08:32I told you I was pregnant, right?
08:34Mm-hmm.
08:35No one gets my jokes.
08:36Listen, I just want you to know, Sonny, that it's such a big decision and whatever it is you decide
08:41to do-
08:42I'm keeping it.
08:44Oh.
08:45Great.
08:46I know there are a million reasons I shouldn't have this baby.
08:48I was supposed to go to Burning Man.
08:50I think you'd love Burning Man.
08:51But, no matter how hard I try to not want it, I find that I still do.
08:57Absolutely.
09:00Okay, okay.
09:00I'm sorry.
09:01It's, I, this is, it's just, this is a lot.
09:03I know.
09:04It's a lot for me too.
09:06But, I've got an interview for an internship in like an hour.
09:10So, if you could just pretend to be all in.
09:13Oh.
09:13I'd really appreciate that.
09:14I am.
09:15A hundred percent.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Feels like 80, but I'll take it.
09:20Phew.
09:20Thank you.
09:24Now your mom has to go to the hospital again.
09:27So, we have to do all this kind of testing and she hates needles.
09:30It's like, really special.
09:31It's amazing, VRB.
09:32It's just like, okay.
09:34Oh.
09:35Hey, Professor Bates.
09:36What is going on with your pants?
09:38Whatever it is, I love it.
09:39Has it ever felt like everything you've ever worked for is just slipping through your fingers?
09:44Yeah.
09:45You know, I was going to spend the next six months working on my book.
09:49Yeah, I mean, I'm not kidding myself.
09:51I know that geopolitical non-fiction isn't exactly the recipe for a sexy bestseller,
09:55but I just think the people who would love it would really love it.
09:57I would love it.
09:58Instead, I'll be making runs to Costco for rotisserie chicken and a Toyota Sienna.
10:04Oh, my mom has a Sienna. You can open the trunk with your foot.
10:10Um, I'm sorry to dump all this on your shoulders.
10:13Gina.
10:13Gina.
10:15You can dump anything on my shoulders.
10:17Thank you, Barty.
10:19Uh, not you, Ronan.
10:20Sorry.
10:20Uh, uh, uh, hello.
10:23Right.
10:24So, I go down to the front desk because I locked myself out again.
10:28Yeah.
10:28And they hand me a ladle with a key on it that opens all of the doors.
10:35How cute is this town?
10:36I know what you're doing.
10:37Don't bother.
10:38My mind is made up.
10:39Not doing anything.
10:40New England.
10:41Believe the hype.
10:42Oh, my gosh.
10:43What is this?
10:44It's a year-round Christmas store.
10:45It is a year-round Christmas store.
10:47How can it stay in business?
10:49Because it has amazing hot chocolate.
10:50Dad, I need to go somewhere so I can have a fresh start without all the noise.
10:54Are you kidding me?
10:55Dad.
10:56Oh, my God.
10:58They give you a peppermint stick to stir it with.
11:00Do you think I don't know about the fucking peppermint sticks?
11:03I've lived here for three years.
11:04I love those sticks.
11:05Then don't give up.
11:06Just because of one tiny little setback.
11:09Okay, several major terrible setbacks.
11:12Are you kidding?
11:13Mom left you five years ago and you gave up like that.
11:16At least I'm planning on starting over.
11:18I'm not moving to Florida to hide from life.
11:21It's pathetic.
11:23Oh, my God.
11:24That was way too mean.
11:25I'm sorry.
11:26It's okay.
11:27I'm sorry.
11:27That was so mean.
11:33By the way, I'm not hiding.
11:36I am also collecting shells.
11:38And I'm thinking about joining a cult.
11:42I'm expanding the Ludlow review.
11:44Instead of one issue, I'm putting together two.
11:46Winter and spring.
11:47I need your budgetary approval.
11:49What an unladylike way to ask.
11:52The new student center drained the endowment,
11:54so the purse strings are fairly tight right now.
11:56I am sure they are,
11:58but the review is a cornerstone of the arts program.
12:00The poetry department is one of the things
12:02that attracts students to the institution.
12:04Oh, I know. It's huge.
12:06All the freshmen show up wearing the jerseys
12:07of their favorite poets.
12:09E-e-comics.
12:11This prehistoric fucker.
12:13Hey, let's go.
12:14Crystal said you got 20 minutes for a coffee walk.
12:16Fifteen.
12:17Thank you, Crystal.
12:18I just got into it with Riggs,
12:19and I need to tell you about it
12:20just in case he tries to undercut me
12:22at your little dinner tonight.
12:23Yeah, fine, fine.
12:24But then I want to hear every sordid detail
12:26about you throwing yourself at Greg.
12:29Excuse me?
12:29I respect it.
12:30Shoot your shot, I would.
12:31Man's a silver fox for God's sake.
12:34I know I've only been here a couple of days,
12:37but I am really going to miss this place.
12:39I never took the cock.
12:42Well, I'm sure that is a fun topic
12:44for you and your gal pal friends,
12:45but I don't think I want to hear about that.
12:47Come on, it's a weather vane.
12:48Oh!
12:49It's a tradition here.
12:50One of the professors takes that,
12:52hides it on the campus,
12:53and then if a student finds it,
12:54everyone gets the day off.
12:56I just wish I'd done it once.
12:58Honey, then just stay and do it.
13:01Yeah?
13:02Come on.
13:04Wow.
13:08I've never seen her look like that.
13:11At least now we know what makes her special.
13:12Dude, what?
13:13No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:16You're the one who said it would make more sense
13:18if you knew how she was special,
13:20and now we know.
13:21Don't let that derail you.
13:22You are a rock star.
13:23You keep saying that, Dad, but I'm not.
13:25Yeah, you are.
13:26I'm a loser.
13:26No, honey, gosh, you're not.
13:28Sweetie, you're not a loser.
13:29I am a loser.
13:30And I'm done with this place, okay?
13:32Go get your cocoa.
13:33I know that's what you've been thinking about anyway.
13:34I'm not thinking about a cocoa, honey.
13:41Walt.
13:42She's in.
13:43Katie's not leaving.
13:44Oh, that's great news, Greg.
13:46Here you go.
13:47Thank you, Beverly.
13:49Yeah.
13:50Definitely an issue there.
13:52Happy about Katie?
13:53Ah.
13:53A local police officer is somewhat overzealous,
13:56but I'll just have him at the hothouse,
13:58and I will talk to him.
13:59Katie is going to have to write an apology to the board,
14:02but let's clean up our trash, please, boys and girls.
14:05But she can blame the whole thing on women's stuff,
14:07hormones, long meds.
14:09She will love that.
14:11And after a short suspension, she will be good to go.
14:15Thank you.
14:15Very grateful.
14:17Thank you, Walt.
14:18Did you know Teddy Roosevelt saved American football?
14:21Nope.
14:22In 1905, 20 college football players died.
14:26Teddy summoned all of the coaches down to the White House,
14:28where he helped evolve the game, saving America's pastime.
14:31Do you know why I'm telling you this?
14:33No, but I bet it'll hit me later.
14:35Our finest president wasn't being selfless.
14:37He wanted his son to play for Harvard without getting his skull cracked.
14:41He got something out of it.
14:46Walt, if there is ever anything that I can do for you, say the word.
14:51Take the writer-in-residence gig.
14:53Oh, no.
14:54Come on, it's just to the end of the semester.
14:57It'd be a feather in my cap to have a best-selling author
15:00that the parents have actually heard of.
15:01Very flattering.
15:02Do me a favor, Greg.
15:03Take a look at that.
15:04Your ex-wife's name is on our brand new student center.
15:07You are practically family here.
15:10Mmm, that's a stretch.
15:11Plus, I'm not really offering you a choice.
15:16This is a deal point.
15:18Really?
15:19Really.
15:27My hand is not usually this warm.
15:29It's because of the hot cocoa.
15:33Sorry.
15:34Sorry, sorry, sorry.
15:34All right.
15:35Sit down.
15:37I just had a funny crazy thing.
15:42Hello.
15:43So, when we left off, Lenin was about to overthrow the Romanov dynasty.
15:50So sorry.
15:53The maddest thing just happened.
15:55I have a friend, Roland.
15:56He's actually my old roommate at uni.
15:58You went to Cambridge, right?
16:00Yes, I did.
16:02Someone's been listening.
16:03Someone's been listening.
16:03He wants me, little old Archie, to be a talking head on BBC News tomorrow.
16:09Apparently, I am a major voice in UK-Russian relations.
16:13Not my word, Your Honor.
16:15Oh, man.
16:16I mean, I can't.
16:17We've got class.
16:18What?
16:19Oh, no.
16:19I couldn't do that.
16:20You have to do it.
16:21Come on, yes.
16:23Should I?
16:23Oh, yes.
16:24So great.
16:25What are you doing?
16:27Liv?
16:27Yeah, you're going to slay.
16:29Absolutely.
16:29Benji, what do you reckon?
16:31Shut the fuck up, Benji.
16:32Come on, mate.
16:33So, good.
16:33Good, yeah?
16:34Good?
16:34Yes.
16:35So great.
16:38Thanks for letting me pretend that I needed to be convinced anyway.
16:40Okay, let's get back to Comrade Lennon and slaughtering those bloody Romanoff girls, then, shall we?
17:01Here you go, guys.
17:02Bacon.
17:03Enjoy.
17:04Thanks, dude.
17:12You good, man?
17:13I don't know, Tommy.
17:15My daughter's going through something.
17:18She's not handling it well.
17:20Yeah, I meant are you done.
17:22Oh, yes.
17:22Yeah.
17:23You can give it to your animal friends over there.
17:26So, gentlemen.
17:28Mmm.
17:29Mmm.
17:29Catch up.
17:31Maybe I'm just not the greatest dad.
17:33Oh, we're still going.
17:34Okay.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Uh, what'd you do?
17:37Like, neglect her?
17:39No.
17:40Were you an alcoholic?
17:41What?
17:42No.
17:42Did you, like, abuse her?
17:43Oh, my God, no.
17:44Smack her around a little bit?
17:45No judgment.
17:46There should be judgment with that.
17:47Thank you, guys.
17:48I can handle it from here.
17:49Yeah, we're good.
17:49We don't need your help.
17:50We're good.
17:51Um, you too.
17:52Oh, yeah.
17:53Of course.
17:55Well, well.
17:56Oh.
17:58Thank goodness, the same person.
17:59Did you tell Walt I tried to have sex with you?
18:02No.
18:03Well, hi.
18:04Uh, no.
18:06Not verbally.
18:08Have you ever heard of microexpressions?
18:10So you didn't say, and I quote,
18:13Dylan found me quite charming.
18:17What?
18:18Yes, I did.
18:19I said that.
18:20I said those exact words, but not in a braggy way.
18:23Say it in a non-braggy way.
18:26Dylan found me quite charming.
18:29No human being talks like that.
18:30I did brag.
18:31I was practically beating my chest.
18:34I'm sorry.
18:35How could I make it up to you?
18:37Buy me breakfast.
18:38Done.
18:39Tommy.
18:39Tommy, I need you.
18:46Oh, bollocks.
18:49Oh, cock in hell.
18:51But, what can you trade it for?
18:54I keep answering for you, and I don't want to keep doing it.
18:57I feel like I'm screaming into a well.
19:01You know, Elizabeth was right.
19:05Anytime Katie had a problem, I would swoop in.
19:08I am a swooper.
19:10So, you were basically always there for her.
19:12Okay.
19:13Shit.
19:14Is she okay?
19:14It was too much.
19:15Now, she does not have the tool set to deal with adversity.
19:19She's going to leave.
19:21There is nothing I can do about it.
19:23Greg, I want to tell you a story.
19:24It isn't about Teddy Roosevelt, is it?
19:26No.
19:27It's about me.
19:28Oh, good.
19:29When I was a kid, I got accepted into the University of Georgia.
19:32The Bulldogs.
19:33Mm-hmm.
19:3420 minutes from my home, no brainer.
19:36But then I also got into Brown, and that's super far away.
19:40And I was scared that all of the other kids were going to be smarter than I was.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:43So, I chose Georgia.
19:46One morning, my dad plops two tickets into my lab nonstop to Providence, Rhode Island.
19:50Neither of us had been out of the state, and I was just super excited to go on a trip.
19:54So, off we went.
19:56Yeah.
19:56We traveled all the time when Katie was a kid.
19:58She's been everywhere.
20:00She loved Prague.
20:01She used to call it Pwag.
20:04You weren't done, were you?
20:05When we got to Providence...
20:06Okay.
20:07...instantly, I knew I had to go to Brown.
20:09And so I did.
20:11Hmm.
20:12Be like my dad.
20:13Find a way in.
20:15Doesn't matter what it is.
20:16Just something to let her know you give a shit.
20:29Come on!
20:29Come on!
20:31Come on!
20:33Come on!
20:35What am I doing?
20:36This is stupid.
20:38Come on.
20:40Ah!
20:41No, no, no, no, no, no!
20:45I got it!
20:47Ouch.
20:48Kate, quit screaming.
20:49I'm almost done.
20:50God.
20:51Katie burned all my clothes.
20:53She punched me in the eye.
20:54She punched me in the eye.
20:55And I'm the one who's gonna look like an idiot in front of millions of people.
20:57It's just not fair.
20:58So, Katie did that?
21:02He didn't tell me.
21:04Yeah, yeah, yes.
21:05Okay, yes, fine.
21:06She did it, yes.
21:07And this whole thing is such a bloody mess.
21:09Do you know, I sneak out of this hotel every morning to avoid running into a dad who is, of
21:14course, staying here, eating every single last one of their bar nuts.
21:18God, that man loves nuts.
21:20Lots of people love nuts.
21:21I love nuts.
21:22God, why is this happening to me?
21:23Is that rhetorical or do you want an actual answer?
21:26I can take it.
21:27I think it's because some people see you as a narcissistic asshole with a punchable face. Case in point.
21:33Do people see me that way?
21:34Some people do.
21:36Do you see me that way?
21:37No.
21:39Not all the time.
21:41I mean, you're choosing to stay at a hotel instead of my apartment.
21:44And some people might find that perplexing.
21:48You have a roommate.
21:49And, you know, moving in is a big step.
21:53We're having a trial together.
21:54Okay.
21:55If I'm such a total bastard, why would you even want to be with me?
21:58Well, at first, mostly your face, but then also your mind and that accent.
22:04Seriously, it's like having sex with Paddington Bear.
22:07And that does it for me.
22:09Well, that wise bear always has a marmalade sandwich underneath his hat.
22:12What are you talking about?
22:13It's just what a bear says.
22:14Look, every human is a mixed bag.
22:16We all have our good qualities and our terrible ones.
22:18And neuroscience tells us our brains have plasticity.
22:20That means through repetition and intention we decide who we're going to become.
22:23And you?
22:24I think you're out of crossharts.
22:25But I think you are going to step up and become the man I know you're capable of being.
22:30And what if I don't?
22:31Well, then I move on.
22:33There.
22:34All done.
22:34Anything else?
22:35A bold lip, perhaps?
22:37I think I'm good.
22:38Coward.
22:39Okay.
22:39I'm going back to class.
22:46Huh?
22:51You took it.
22:52Yeah, I did.
22:55You did the one thing I never did to make me feel worse.
23:00Hmm.
23:01Okay.
23:04Look, I know you didn't like it when I called you a rock star.
23:07But you are.
23:08Please don't.
23:09You are.
23:09Get over it.
23:11But recently you have been doing some stuff that's a little loser-ish.
23:15I know, because I have been there.
23:18Lack of game recognized as lack of game.
23:20Ugh.
23:21Katie, you were right about me.
23:23I didn't bounce back.
23:26And I am not resilient.
23:28And I hope I didn't pass that down to you.
23:31Come on.
23:32You love this place.
23:34The only thing you need to do to stay is to be brave.
23:40And to write a letter that says that you're mentally ill.
23:43Jesus Christ.
23:48Help me write it.
23:49The Elizabeth Goddard Student Center just opened.
23:52You'll notice right behind you we kept the original brick facade from 1821.
23:57Crystal said you were here.
23:58Thank you.
23:59You know, I hate this damn building.
24:01Huh?
24:01They took a classic example of neo-Gothic architecture and slapped a greenhouse on it.
24:06Well, they also added a smash burger place.
24:08Exactly.
24:09Sacrificing tradition for what?
24:10More fat kids?
24:11We damn sure got plenty of those.
24:13No, no.
24:14Not out loud.
24:15Thank you.
24:16Okay.
24:17What brought all this on?
24:18Rough dinner with Dean Riggs.
24:20Mm.
24:21And I had to tell him we were cutting his budget.
24:23It just feels like this is my whole job now.
24:26People come and ask me for things that they really care about.
24:29I have to say no and then they hold it against me.
24:31Okay.
24:32Your real friends know that this comes with the gig.
24:34We're not going to hold it against you.
24:35I hope so.
24:39I have to move the Ludlow Review online.
24:42It's part of our green initiative.
24:43Every year we printed it just winds up littered all over campus like a paper factory exploded.
24:48Walt, you can't do that.
24:49So many people are going to be upset.
24:51No.
24:52The 36 students who get published will be upset.
24:54Some of their 72 parents and me.
25:00I read it cover to cover every year.
25:07I'm really sorry.
25:12All of that said, I'm truly and profoundly sorry.
25:15My behavior was unhinged.
25:16I don't love unhinged.
25:18Really?
25:19I'm going to use overwhelmed.
25:21It's your letter.
25:22It doesn't have to be great.
25:24But I love it.
25:26Okay.
25:26Done.
25:27Look at this guy.
25:29Mmm.
25:29I get to hide him, right?
25:30All yours.
25:31I'm going to save it for when I need a pick-me-up.
25:34Like, first time I see that fucker pushing around a stroller.
25:37Mmm.
25:38Wait, what now?
25:40Ah.
25:50Hi.
25:50Hi.
25:51I'm so sorry.
25:52I forgot my key again.
25:53No problem.
25:55That's happening to you a lot.
25:56I know.
25:57I'm so mad at myself.
25:58How do we expect the Russian government to respond to this bold move from Downing Street?
26:04Well, it's certainly not going to go smoothly.
26:06That's for sure.
26:07You got a pregnant?
26:09No, it's our ladle!
26:10Guys!
26:15Mr. Vitz, you're live on the BBC.
26:22Is that Greg?
26:23Yes.
26:24Fuck him up.
26:27Oh.
26:28Oh my God.
26:29Oh, I don't know.
26:31Eli.
26:32Eli!
26:33Eli, you okay?
26:35You need your inhalation?
26:48Hey there, you got a coffee well, can't you?
26:52Can't, I'm really busy.
27:00Hey, hey, I appreciate you putting all this unfortunate fire business to rest.
27:06Oh, yeah, no problem at all.
27:09Say, when you were in the cold plunge, you didn't happen to see my gun, did you?
27:14You did not.
27:15It's fine, I probably left it on my dash.
27:19Oh, no, I left it at the gun range.
27:22The best place to leave a gun.
27:24They're hard to keep track of.
27:30I thought I'd try to be less perplexing.
27:39I'm funnier than people think.
27:41Thank you.
27:43Thank you.
27:44Ugh, this fucking guy.
27:46Hello, Moe, how are you?
27:48What are you, moving in?
27:52Well, thanks for coming to see me off.
27:55Yeah.
27:56I'm not, like, crushed that you're leaving.
27:59No offense.
28:00Um, but I am really glad that you came.
28:06Me too.
28:08I love you.
28:09I love you back.
28:13Bye, Dad.
28:15Bye, sweetie.
28:18See you Monday!
28:19Wait, what?
28:20Go, go, go, go!
28:21Stay with me.
28:25Stay with me.
28:29Stay with me.
28:33Stay with me.
28:39She's so scared.
28:41I'm so very frightened.
28:46I'm so very frightened.
28:47Anything could happen.
28:52I'm right here tonight.
28:55Beautiful girl.
28:58Stay with me.
29:04Beautiful girl.
29:06Stay with me.
29:08Stay with me.
29:25Bye-bye.
29:27Bye-bye.
29:30Bye-bye.
29:30Bye-bye.
29:30Bye-bye.
29:30Bye-bye.
29:31Bye-bye.
29:32Bye-bye.
29:32Bye-bye.
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