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11:15¿Cómo?
11:16Sí, las símatas son muy bien, pero nosotros te hermosos amamente.
11:21¡Perfecto!
11:24¡Pues voy.
11:26Solo granos a эт.»
11:26La ¿ brightilica.
11:27De una trAN ENgue.
11:29Pero que las aguas le hechos así.
11:35¿Porjuda a mi...
11:37Seguía pues llamada alguien?
11:39¡Trac Simply a Starbucks y tables todos los buscores tu hizo detalles.
11:44¡The jig is up, so just go ahead and change me back to a miserable human!
11:49Ah, damn it.
11:51Well, I guess I have no choice but to fix this then, huh?
11:56¡Wor a snail!
11:57¡The shell's oddly comforting, but I'm still mad!
12:00¡Why?
12:01I had no choice, you all knew.
12:05Everything's going to be fine, just calm down.
12:08I'll grab you guys some dirt and...
12:10What do snails eat?
12:11Maggots?
12:12We don't know! We just became snails!
12:15But some maggots do sound amazing, thank you.
12:22Good evening, folks. I'm Gary Ambasul.
12:25Welcome to the live studio finale of the most popular show ever to air above the trough urinal in the
12:31Carolina Hurricanes Arena bathroom.
12:33Hell yeah!
12:34Now let's all welcome, fresh out of the house in the Everglades that's really dragging their feet with my security
12:40deposit, my all-stars!
12:45Eat it once. Look who's a reality star now.
12:49Tonight, we'll be crowning one of these housemates our winner.
12:53You voted all season and the results are in.
12:55But before we get to that, let's look back at this unforgettable season of moments recorded everywhere but the toilet.
13:05I love it here. Everyone's awesome.
13:08Well, almost everyone.
13:13It's not a direct translation, but that's Panda 4. Stan sucks.
13:18Angelica, you just won the Super Bowl!
13:21Ugh! Stan!
13:22Ugh! Stan!
13:24Ugh, Stan!
13:25Can I tell you guys a secret?
13:28Hell yeah!
13:30We'll get more into that torrid love affair, but first, I think audiences around the world are eager for me
13:36to share some news with the cast.
13:39I haven't been totally honest.
13:41While you all thought you were filming Gary Ombassoul's All-Stars, America knew we were making Gary Ombassoul's imbeciles!
13:50You were assembled for my mission to crown America's biggest idiot!
13:55And the votes are in!
13:56Drumroll, please!
14:05And the winner is, no surprises here, it's Stan by a mile!
14:17And when we come back, bazooka sharks punter Boomer DeSanto is here to kick Stan in the balls.
14:23And that's commercial!
14:26Roger! You used me to look like a fool!
14:29Phew, we're on the same page.
14:30You said you believed in me! You said I'd be great!
14:33You were great! Great for me and the show! Aren't you happy for me, Stan?
14:40He's in there, eh? Surround the entire perimeter with dynamite!
14:43We gotta send our message to the world in style.
14:47I'm done with this stupid show! Find another sucker!
14:50But nobody sucks harder than you! Not even the contestants of my other show, Human Vacuums of Nebraska!
15:00The secret to horse meat, Virgil, is putting on the slice of American cheese after the microwave and letting the
15:07steam melt it!
15:09Mr. Ed, meet Mr. Fed. As in, well-fed, not federal agent. Which I'm not.
15:16Horse meat. Oh, no!
15:20Hey, look! It's Virgil!
15:22As you can imagine, Virgil, we were devastated to see on TV that you weren't a dead friend, but a
15:28living traitor.
15:29Yeah, no. You may have thwarted our plan to blow up Niagara Falls, bud, but now you've given us another
15:35opportunity to bring awareness to our cause.
15:38Help me out here. What was that again?
15:40Our cause, to refresh your memory, is getting the world to adopt Newfoundland's 30 minutes off time zone.
15:48Oh, God. I forgot that island is 30 minutes off. I kept missing Modern Family.
15:52We've accommodated the rest of the world for decades. Time for them to accommodate us!
15:57So we're gonna blow up this studio and everyone in it, live on air, to send a message.
16:04One that'll be seen on gas station TVs and flip phones around the globe!
16:09And then, if we don't die in a glorious hail of gunfire, we might pop by Colonial Williamsburg and see
16:15how a horseshoe is made. If we have time.
16:24Okay, everybody. A couple concerning items of news. Terrorists have surrounded the studio and are planting dynamite.
16:31But don't worry. I'm highly trained and have this situation completely un...
16:36Wazzup! Where do weed at?
16:37Rogu, get a camera outside on those terrorists. This could be big. Pluto TV big.
16:43Stan! Are we all gonna die?
16:46We may, baby girl. But I ain't stressin'. I just hope Heaven's got an ice luge.
16:51Oh, that's catchy. I just hope Heaven's got an ice luge.
16:56Dad! Get it together! You're in the CIA! Do something!
16:59Wait, you're in the CIA? You told me you were a sexy dentist!
17:03Yeah, I'm CIA. Ain't no thing. Just give me a second. I'll whip up a plan.
17:07We just need a flank here, and then we'll send a team over here, and I'll rappel in from...
17:12Yeah, this looks great.
17:14Gotcha! Stop lookin', pervs!
17:16Forget this loser! I'ma go out there and smooth this whole thing over.
17:21Hit him with the queen shuffle, spit some game, and we'll be home in time for Jack Toddler's South Beach.
17:30Ah! I got that, y'all! Someone help me! Not Stan!
17:35I can't believe we just captured THEE swerve queen!
17:41It's Tracy's big blabbermouth is why we're all snails now!
17:45Larry's gonna write us up for missing our shift!
17:47Everyone shut up!
17:48Larry's not doing nothing, cause you're all snails, and you live with a fish now, and we're all best friends!
17:55That's just the way it is!
17:57Anyone wanna hear me freestyle?
18:01I'm a snail. I use snail mail. I leave snail trails. G-Unit!
18:07Enough! Everyone quiet! I'm trying to watch my friend's show!
18:14I'm a snail. I read snail braille. Baby be my chip, I'll be your snail dale.
18:20Here's your staff, Larry. I'm over it. I'm gonna go chug a Mountain Dew outside TJ Maxx and throw in
18:25some FanDuel parlays.
18:26Klaus is back!
18:30Larry! That fish turned us into snails!
18:32And you gotta get us to a recording studio!
18:35I don't care who's it and what's it to who's'em! You're all late and I'm writing you up!
18:40Larry, is now a bad time to tell you that my sister's wedding's next weekend?
18:45DAGNABIT!
18:50I can't believe we underestimated how truly horrible Dad is on camera.
18:54Then we gotta get him off camera!
18:55Roger! Kill the cameras! We need to get Dad back to normal!
18:59On it!
19:00Oh no! The terrorists must've jammed the signal so we're stuck on air!
19:05No way I'm missing this gold.
19:07I don't get it. Cameras or not, terrorists are Dad's bread and butter.
19:11But those missions are all instinct.
19:13So maybe...
19:18Instinct trumps cameras!
19:20Clarence and Angelica, when you're done sobbing, can I ask you to do a quick Season 2 promo?
19:28Sorry, fam. My B. I guess you were right not to believe in me.
19:33Actually, Dad, I do believe in you.
19:37Steve, no!
19:38What are you doing?!
19:39Come on in and just kill us! Get it over with! You can do it on camera!
19:44Quick! Before the little hoser reconsiders!
19:56What's up?!
20:11I'll hang loose!
20:12Stand, look out!
20:14I'll hang loose!
20:14Stand, look out!
20:17¡No!
20:19¡No!
20:24¡Grandma shared two family secrets!
20:27¡Terrorist One always kept a little nitro under his balls!
20:31¡Ariah! ¡Yeah!
20:34¡You did it, Stan!
20:36¡I told you I could be good on TV!
20:38¡And I just wanted to say...
20:39¡Big thanks to all the haters out there for keeping me motivated!
20:43¡Especially my weak-as-hell family!
20:45¡Shout out to the Everglades, my boy Corn Nuts!
20:48¡And most importantly, you, America, for eating this!
20:57I'm pitching a lot of hot, hot shows right now.
21:00But there's one in particular I think you'd really shine on.
21:03Me? Tuttle?
21:05Are you familiar with the concept of a squid game?
21:07I am not.
21:08But I love calamari.
21:10Great, great. That's perfect.
21:12Rogul, just get a quick, legally-binding signature
21:15and you'll be rich and famous, lickety-split.
21:17Hot dog!
21:18Production starts Monday.
21:20Just bring some exercise clothes
21:22and remember, don't tell any loved ones where you're going.
21:27Damn it!
21:28This is another valentine!
21:29Still, it'll mean the world to Clip Clop.
21:32Bye! Have a beautiful time!
21:33See you soon!
21:36You
21:36You
21:37You
21:39You
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