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00:16Gracias por ver el video
00:36Gracias por ver el video
01:00No, it ain't
01:00From here on out, there's no more gravy train, alright?
01:04You're an adult now, Johnny
01:05That means responsibility
01:07Don't you worry, Dad
01:08You have my word
01:09I am gonna take adulthood and grab it by the ass
01:12Speaking of, I gotta take a dump
01:14That was a long fucking ceremony
01:16Jesus, we don't all need to hear about it
01:18Have a good stool, Maddie
01:20And Johnny, did you do your doo-doos yet today?
01:23Oh, Ma
01:24I'm 18 now
01:26Minus stools too
01:27Oh, good heavens
01:29You're right
01:30You're right
01:32Oh
01:32How time flies
01:39You said
01:41Someone's toking some reefer
01:43No, I may have said something about smelling some pot
01:45You know, it's just an observation
01:47Oh, an observation, huh?
01:48Well, who the hell are you, man?
01:49Isaac fucking Newton?
01:50It's kind of hard for me to buy that this guy has Isaac Newton on the tip of his tongue
01:54Yeah, and he really seemed to have it locked and loaded
01:56Like, I hope a situation arises today where I can mention my favorite scientist
02:01Oh, look, they're gonna fight
02:02Why do guys always take their shirts off when they're about to fight?
02:08Because guys will always look at nipples
02:10Really?
02:10Oh, yeah
02:11If they're out, a guy's looking
02:12And while he's lost in your nipples, you punch him in the face
02:14Wow
02:15Yeah, ask Evander Holyfield
02:17Hey, buddy, my fists are up here
02:18Exactly
02:19If JFK had been in the car shirtless, he'd be alive today
02:22Boys, dinner's ready
02:24To be continued
02:27By the way, there's a surprise in the salad
02:30Sun-dried tomatoes
02:32I got turned around at the stop and shop and I ended up in the ethnic aisle
02:36Sun-dried is just a fancy word for old
02:39It's a WAP scam
02:40Italian scam
02:42Wait, no
02:43Save them and give them out to the kids with the mustaches on Halloween
02:46Jesus Christ, you are such a fucking bigot
02:49It's like I'm living with Mark Furman
02:50Oh, Christ, not this again
02:52What?
02:52Because you still can't admit he is a crooked, lying sack
02:55OJ did it, alright?
02:57If the cops planted evidence, it was just to make up for OJ unplanting it
03:01That doesn't make any sense
03:03John, how'd your interview go today?
03:05What?
03:06At my buddy Tommy's tire shop
03:07Hey, it wasn't easy getting you in there
03:10Luckily, there was an opening because Bob Donahue got crushed under a truck
03:13Right, the interview
03:14Um, it went great
03:16I looked him right in the eye and I gave him a firm handshake and everything
03:22Tommy doesn't have a hand
03:24Oh
03:25Lost it in a tire balancer last year
03:27This sounds like a uniquely dangerous workplace
03:30I shook his nub
03:31He doesn't have a nub
03:32It goes all the way up to the shoulder
03:34I shook his shoulder
03:35He's a head on a torso
03:37How is this guy a mechanic?
03:39Okay, Dad
03:39You didn't fucking go, did you?
03:41No, but
03:42God damn it! I can't fucking believe it!
03:44If he takes his shirt off, don't get distracted by his nipples
03:46See, the thing is
03:47No! I'm sick of your fucking excuses
03:49You didn't get into college
03:51You ain't got a job
03:52You ain't done nothing but sit on your ass since June
03:55Matty, he's a late bloomer
03:56He's a boy, Susan, don't talk about him blooming
03:59But it's wonderful when a boy blooms
04:02I said stop it!
04:03You know what? The two of you are kicked out of this fucking house
04:06Matty!
04:07No more free rides
04:08Matty, no!
04:09No, it's for his own good, Susan
04:11My kid ain't gonna fucking wind up like a fucking welfare queen
04:14And more racism
04:16How the fuck is that racist?
04:17You just said welfare queen
04:19So?
04:19So, that is a racist black stereotype
04:21I never said she was black
04:23Oh, so it's automatically a woman
04:25Well, a man's not popping out babies just to get rich
04:27And don't change the fucking subject
04:29I am tired of coming home every day to a house full of freeloaders who
04:34Oh, fuck
04:36Matty?
04:37Dad, are you okay?
04:38Ah, it's fucking indigestion
04:40Ah, feels like Dom DeLuise is sitting on my chest
04:44Honey, you want some Ailanta?
04:46Oh, shit
04:49Ah!
04:56Doctor?
04:57Is he gonna be okay?
04:59He's stable
04:59But there are blockages in his arteries
05:02So another cardiac event is likely
05:04Whoa, whoa, whoa
05:05Slow down, Doc
05:06Explain it to me in sewage terms
05:08Is it just a clogged sink
05:09Or is the main line blocked
05:11And the shit coming up through the shower drain
05:12I guess it's closer to the second one
05:16I'll need your consent to insert a stent into each blocked artery
05:20Well, who's gonna do it?
05:22I'll be performing the procedure
05:24Oh, yeah?
05:26What about this guy?
05:28He's a nurse
05:29A guy?
05:30Yes
05:31What the fuck's going on?
05:33Did you give me the drugs already?
05:34Will he stop being a fucking asshole
05:35And let him save your life?
05:38All right, fine
05:44I'm so sorry
05:45I'm a doctor in Massachusetts
05:47If I didn't save racist lives
05:49I would do nothing
05:52Susan, I'm scared
05:54Everything's gonna be all right, honey
05:57I love you so much
05:58I love you too
06:02And son?
06:03Yeah, Dad?
06:04I don't say this enough, but
06:09You really need a fucking haircut
06:12I know, Dad
06:15Hey, Johnny
06:16Look, I'm the kid in the wheelchair at the school dance
06:18Who's also having a good time?
06:38Did you just put a breast cancer self-exam pamphlet in your pocket?
06:42It's for when I get home
06:44I'm just curious
06:45In the fantasy, does she find a lump?
06:47Yeah
06:47In my pants
06:50Not your best work, but you're under a lot of stress
06:52There's not even a photo on there
06:56You're just gonna jerk off to a line drawing?
07:00Doctor, how is he?
07:02Is he gonna be okay?
07:03Also, the vending machine ate one of my quarters
07:05Is there a form I can fill out, or?
07:07The procedure went very smoothly, Mrs. Bennett
07:09Oh, thank God
07:10I'm so relieved
07:11So, Maddie's gonna be okay?
07:13Well, he's not out of the woods yet
07:15His condition is very delicate
07:16Especially for the next few weeks
07:18What does that mean?
07:19He needs to remain calm
07:21If he gets overly agitated or angry
07:23It could trigger another heart attack
07:25Possibly be fatal
07:27We'll say our goodbyes now
07:35I think the best part of the grind is all the grinding
07:39We're blessed to live in a time
07:41When dancing is just girls rubbing their butts
07:43Against the dick area of guys' jeans
07:45The patient is resting comfortably
07:48He's not pissed about having to eat egg whites from now on?
07:51No, I disguise them with yellow food coloring
07:53And tonight I'm gonna use red dye
07:56To make the ground turkey look like ground beef
07:59This must be what it feels like to be a spy
08:04Oh, Johnny, please change the channel
08:06I don't want your father to hear this
08:08He calls it burglary music
08:11Delightful
08:13All right, Mr. Simpson
08:14Would you please stand and face the jury?
08:16Oh, my God
08:17I think they're about to announce the verdict
08:19We, the jury, in the involved entitled action
08:21Find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson
08:23Not guilty of the crime of murder
08:25Holy shit, he got away with it
08:27Well, that was a year and a half of our lives
08:29Oh, this is very, very bad
08:32Well, at least it might finally teach the LAPD a lesson
08:35Maddie's always talking about how guilty O.J. is
08:39If he finds out about this, he'll get so angry
08:41It could kill him
08:43Making him O.J.'s third victim
08:49Well, Maddie'll be up soon
08:54How do we tell him about O.J.?
08:56Oh, let's tell him Johnny's gay
08:58When he finds out it's not true
08:59He'll be so relieved he won't even care about O.J.
09:02That's a stupid plan
09:03Well, it's worth a try
09:04And we're gonna need rollerblades, bicycle shorts
09:06And some ice cream to get angry at
09:08What does that mean?
09:09Well, cause the ice cream wants you to eat it
09:11But you gotta keep your body lean for shenanigans
09:14What if we don't tell him?
09:16What?
09:17He's stuck in bed, he'll never know
09:18Yes, he will, there's a TV up there
09:21It's his enid
09:22We can cut the wires and tell him the cable's out
09:24What, forever?
09:25No, not forever, just till he's better and he can handle the news
09:28That could work
09:29Are you serious?
09:30Claire, you heard the doctor
09:31If he gets pissed off, it'll kill him
09:34Oh, I can't lose my Maddie
09:35What would I do without him?
09:38Thrive?
09:38I feel like this is all my fault
09:41Dad would've never had that heart attack
09:43If he hadn't been so upset about me being lazy
09:46Blair, we gotta do this
09:50Fine
09:50It's not all your fault, Johnny
09:52I've seen him put a scoop of Crisco on an ice cream cone
09:55He does love his Criscos
09:57He does love his fare
09:59Off him
10:21What?
10:22Hot
10:23Damn it
10:24Susan!
10:26Oh holy shit
10:27Mati, ¿qué es lo que pasa?
10:29Hay algo malo con el TV.
10:30No, no, el cable company llamó.
10:33Decidió que va a estar por al menos un semana.
10:35¿Por qué no escribir un libro?
10:36¿Qué? ¿A una mujer?
10:39¿Los médicos? ¿Los médicos?
10:42¿Qué es lo que pasa con el mundo?
10:44Mati, no te preocupes.
10:46¿La doctora dijo que quiera ser calmado?
10:48Quiero ver la news.
10:49El O.J. verdict tiene que ser out por ahora.
10:52¿Sabes lo que?
10:53Yo voy a llamar Trammell.
10:54Quizás alguien ha escuchado algo.
10:55¿Qué?
10:56Él es culpable.
10:57¿Qué?
10:58SÃ, Dad.
10:59O.J. fue found culpable,
11:00como lo esperaba.
11:01No hay razón para ser upset.
11:02¿Por qué no te dice?
11:04¿Por qué te dice?
11:05Estaba...
11:06...le decirte después de la cama.
11:09¡A la recompensa!
11:13¡Oh, man!
11:15Oh, no.
11:16I wish I could have seen the look on O.J.'s face
11:18cuando they read that verdict.
11:20See, Blair?
11:21Even your black jury agrees with me
11:23about the cops.
11:23Ha ha, you gotta feel pretty fucking stupid right now.
11:27Oh, I feel stupid.
11:30Man, can't wait to read about this in tomorrow's paper.
11:33What?
11:34Yeah, bring it to me first thing in the morning.
11:36You know what?
11:37They might not even cover it.
11:38Of course they're gonna cover it.
11:39It's the biggest news story of the year.
11:41Right, there's no getting around that.
11:43In the meantime,
11:44I can just listen to the news on the radio.
11:46Ah!
11:48Ah!
11:48Oh, butterfingers!
11:52It's like he's got butter all over your fingers
11:57with what just happened.
11:59Right?
12:01Go wash your fingers.
12:03Huh?
12:04Go wash your fingers.
12:06Well, we're already back in fucking school.
12:13That didn't take long.
12:14Yeah, can't believe how easy it was
12:15to break into this place.
12:16Yeah.
12:17Probably be easy to come in,
12:18set a bunch of explosives,
12:19kill everybody.
12:20Jesus fucking Christ, Teddy!
12:22What?
12:22I'm saying it's a flaw.
12:23I'm pointing it out.
12:24I'm helping.
12:25Seriously, what the fuck is...
12:26Oh, come on, Johnny.
12:27You know I'm a good guy.
12:28You've seen my manifesto.
12:36Oh, sweet.
12:37They got everything we need.
12:38We sure we can pull this off?
12:40Oh, totally.
12:41How hard could it be
12:42to make a fake newspaper?
12:43I mean, it's just a big headline
12:44that says O.J. guilty
12:45and then a bunch of bullshit
12:46about how justice was served.
12:48Johnny, there's more to a paper
12:49than one article.
12:50Real papers have sports sections
12:51and restaurant reviews
12:52and comics and jumble.
12:54That scrambled word game
12:55that's no fun
12:56and way harder
12:57than you think it'll be.
12:58Shit, you're right.
12:59We got a lot of work to do.
13:00Exactly.
13:01Now, we got a long night ahead of us.
13:02I want 500 words on the big dig.
13:04And where's the girl
13:05with my egg salad sandwich?
13:06Right away, queef.
13:10All right, let's keep my dad from dying.
13:19Hey, Dad.
13:20How you doing?
13:22Bored as shit.
13:23Well, get ready to cheer up
13:24because here's today's paper.
13:27A little thinner than usual.
13:29Oh, uh, well, the newspaper people
13:32were probably so focused
13:33on the main part
13:34that they ran out of time
13:35for the other stuff.
13:36Or maybe someone was goofing off,
13:38accidentally unplugged the computer,
13:39and they lost hours of work.
13:41Well, maybe that person
13:42needed to blow off some steam
13:43because his editor
13:43was riding him so hard.
13:45Maybe the editor resents
13:46having to hire the owner's nephew.
13:48Well, maybe that writer
13:48hasn't seen his kid
13:49in fucking weeks
13:50because the editor's
13:51such a goddamn slave driver.
13:52Maybe the city's full
13:53of promising young journalists
13:54who'd be happy
13:55to take his fucking seat
13:56in a second.
13:57Maybe suck a dick at you
13:57along the way.
13:58Oh, look at this.
14:01Huh?
14:01Ha, ha.
14:02Simpson was found guilty
14:03of murdering a blonde lady
14:05and another guy
14:06because he totally did it
14:07and anyone that thinks different
14:09is an idiot.
14:10Just like I've been saying.
14:11Yeah, almost word for word.
14:13See what else is happening, huh?
14:18Sark's win makes Yankees fans cry.
14:21UN declares America did win Vietnam.
14:24Finally, a good news day.
14:26And look at this.
14:27Jane Fonder admits
14:28I'm a piece of shit.
14:30If you're looking for a chuckle,
14:31maybe check out the comic strip.
14:36The Galumphs?
14:37What's this?
14:39Uh, it's new,
14:40but I've been hearing good things.
14:41Apparently, it's about a family
14:43called the Galumphs
14:44who get into all sorts of mischief
14:46but love each other
14:47at the end of the day.
14:48It's not drawn too good.
14:49Yeah, it's not supposed to be slick.
14:51That's part of the charm.
14:52Ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:53He brought a beach chair
14:55to the DMV.
14:56Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:57He knows he's gonna be there all day.
15:00Classic Galumphs.
15:01All right, we'll leave you to it.
15:02Enjoy that article
15:03about Clinton's hemorrhoids.
15:04Hey, don't forget to bring me
15:05tomorrow's newspaper, too.
15:07Tomorrow?
15:08Yeah.
15:09I'm sure they'll have
15:09all the sections by then.
15:11Ha, I want to know
15:11what these Galumphs
15:12get up to next.
15:14Yeah, me too.
15:15We're gonna need some help.
15:22All right,
15:23here's the headline
15:24for tomorrow's paper.
15:2540 minutes on toilet
15:27equal to running two miles.
15:29Oh, this is terrific.
15:30Blair, how's the business section coming?
15:31I just finished a piece
15:32on gender-based pay discrepancy.
15:35Are you fucking crazy?
15:36I can't print this.
15:37It's all true.
15:38Women make 72 cents
15:39on the dollar.
15:40I don't give a shit
15:40about the truth.
15:41We're trying to keep
15:42Maddie alive.
15:43So we're just gonna
15:44create a bubble around him
15:45where all he ever hears
15:46is news that reinforces
15:47his warped worldview?
15:49Pretty much.
15:50Give me something I can use,
15:51like,
15:52scientists prove
15:52women worse drivers,
15:54or tipping with change
15:56is more than enough.
15:57Why can't one of you guys do it?
15:59No, I'm working on a huge story.
16:01There's no reason
16:02to turn the heat on.
16:03And I still gotta figure out
16:04tomorrow's Galumphs.
16:05Okay, how about this?
16:06Gary Galumph tells his wife
16:08to get all gussied up
16:09for a fancy dinner,
16:10and then he takes her
16:11to the grocery store
16:11to fill up on free samples.
16:13I'm smiling,
16:14but I'm not laughing yet.
16:15Okay.
16:16Uh, is this anything?
16:17Gary Galumph is on the treadmill,
16:19and then we cut wider
16:20to reveal that he's on roller skates.
16:22Eh, they did something similar
16:23in yesterday's Wizard of Id.
16:24All right, uh,
16:26Gladys Galumph
16:27becomes a health inspector
16:28for the city,
16:29and she finds a cockroach
16:30in the kitchen
16:31at one of the restaurants.
16:32And before she can
16:33shut the place down,
16:34the cockroach says,
16:35excuse me, ma'am,
16:35I'm the owner.
16:36Yes, yes, yes.
16:38Draw, draw, draw.
16:39Fuck, draw.
16:48Well,
16:49someone's feeling better.
16:51Look at this.
16:52Look at this.
16:52Hillary Clinton
16:53spotted at urinal.
16:54I fucking knew it!
16:56Hey, Dad,
16:56did you see today's galumphs?
16:58Oh,
16:58the best one so far.
17:00I'll tell you,
17:01any time a dog
17:01wears sunglasses,
17:03you got my attention.
17:04I don't think
17:05I've ever seen you smile,
17:06but not quite laugh so much.
17:09Well,
17:09the world finally makes sense,
17:10Susan.
17:11O.J. got what he deserved.
17:12The socks are on a winning streak.
17:15You know,
17:15the only problem is
17:16the damn cable's still out.
17:18Fuck it.
17:19I'm gonna call him,
17:20see what's taking him so long.
17:21Oh,
17:21wait,
17:22uh,
17:22no,
17:22actually,
17:23you don't have to do that
17:23because
17:25they're coming by tomorrow.
17:27Finally!
17:30Sean,
17:30if we fix the cable,
17:32he's gonna find out about O.J.
17:33Well,
17:33what if we make our own news?
17:35Huh?
17:35We got all that video equipment
17:37at school.
17:37We just need to find an actor.
17:40Sadly,
17:40we know one.
17:44Come in.
17:48What do you two want?
17:49Here's something
17:50you probably never heard before.
17:52We'd like to hire you again.
17:57Well,
17:58look,
17:58I'd love to help you out,
17:59but I have a strict rule
18:00against sequels.
18:01Oh,
18:01do you?
18:02Yeah,
18:02I do.
18:02I hate seeing actors
18:03like Harrison Ford,
18:04Pacino,
18:05guys not without talent,
18:06throwing it all away
18:07for a quick buck.
18:08This is not a level.
18:09This is something much simpler.
18:10It's not like that.
18:11It's a new role.
18:12It's a newscaster.
18:14Go on.
18:15That's sort of it.
18:16that's it.
18:16Yeah.
18:17That's the role.
18:19Could this newscaster
18:21have a son
18:22in the hospital?
18:25Yeah,
18:25sure.
18:26I guess.
18:27That's why his job
18:27means so much to him.
18:29Watching the news
18:29is the only way
18:30his bedridden son
18:31can feel connected
18:32to the outside world
18:33with the comforting face
18:34of his father
18:35as a beacon in the dark.
18:36Yeah,
18:37we don't really need to...
18:37You know what?
18:38I could play the son
18:39in a flash forward.
18:40Yeah,
18:40we're not making a movie here.
18:42And I feel like
18:42we need to be daring.
18:43This newscaster's grappling
18:45with his own sexuality
18:46and as a result,
18:47he's never been able
18:48to have an authentic moment
18:49with his son.
18:50And now it might be too late.
18:51Right.
18:52Because of the cancer.
18:54Oh my God.
18:55I mean,
18:55this is how people win Oscars.
18:57Bingo.
18:57Hey, hey, hey, hey.
18:58The fuck are you doing?
18:59What?
19:00Don't encourage this.
19:01And the sex scene
19:02should be ambiguous.
19:03I mean,
19:04sex to him is a Rubicon.
19:05I want the sex scenes
19:06to raise questions
19:07but provide no answers.
19:08Yeah,
19:09this is getting kind of...
19:09I'm willing to have sex
19:10on camera.
19:11Okay, look,
19:12there's also another role
19:13we need you to play.
19:14Dual roles?
19:15Oh, wow,
19:15I'm loving this.
19:16What's the other part?
19:17It's a cable guy
19:18who comes to the house
19:19to fix the cable.
19:21Could I, uh,
19:22could I pitch you something?
19:23Sure.
19:24You ready?
19:25Yeah.
19:25He's retarded.
19:26No.
19:27Oh, yeah.
19:28No.
19:28He's full-blown,
19:29one wheel in the sand.
19:30Doesn't help us at all.
19:32Okay, now remember,
19:33just put the tape in the VCR
19:34and pretend to fix the cable.
19:36Sure thing, Governor.
19:37I just moved here
19:38from El Blighty
19:39looking to start a new life.
19:40No, no, no, no.
19:41We talked about this.
19:42Just get in the fucking house.
19:47And no limps!
19:49Hey, Dad.
19:51Look who we just ran into
19:52out on the steps.
19:54It's the cable guy.
19:55Oh, it's about goddamn time.
19:57Can you fix the cable?
19:58Yeah, blood.
19:59I can fix the cable.
20:00No, no.
20:00Get the fuck to work.
20:04Anything, uh,
20:05good in the paper today?
20:07Kangaroos are fake.
20:08Fucking called it.
20:09What?
20:10No, they're not.
20:11Olivia Newton-John admitted it.
20:13Educate yourself, Blair.
20:16Fucking A.
20:17The world's finally getting good
20:18and I'm stuck at home.
20:20Maybe I should go for a walk.
20:22No, no, no.
20:23Home is better.
20:24Okay.
20:24All finished.
20:26Wow.
20:26That was fast.
20:27Guess I'll go, uh,
20:28turn on the TV.
20:33Good evening.
20:35I'm Chad Farnsworth
20:36and this
20:36is your world.
20:38Who the hell is this?
20:39I've never seen this guy before.
20:41He seems complicated.
20:42Our top story,
20:44O.J. Simpson
20:45is still behind bars
20:46where reportedly
20:47he cries himself to sleep
20:49each night.
20:50Fucking yes!
20:51Asked if re-opening Alcatraz
20:53is a little extreme,
20:54the California governor said,
20:56not for this monster.
20:57Amen!
20:58And now,
20:59let's check in
21:00with our weather girl,
21:01Haley Snowden.
21:02Haley, uh,
21:03what's the weather forecast
21:05for the weekend look like?
21:06Oh, not so good, Chad.
21:08Unless you're a duck.
21:11Good one, Haley.
21:14Uh, we're sleeping together.
21:15I can't keep my hands off her.
21:17Not even at work.
21:20Oh, yeah.
21:22Hmm.
21:22Oh, my gosh.
21:24I haven't felt like this
21:25since my wife died.
21:26Hmm.
21:27Oh.
21:27Okay, that's enough of that.
21:33We're fucked.
21:34Dad's gonna be expecting
21:35another newscast tomorrow.
21:37Well, that's our life now, Johnny.
21:38Prepare on a daily paper
21:40and nightly news.
21:41We are a two-man media empire.
21:43Oh, and by the way,
21:44I fired Blair.
21:45She's suing us.
21:46Have you boys seen Matty?
21:48He's not in the bedroom
21:49and I can't find him anywhere.
21:50No.
21:55He's not in the garage
21:56or the basement.
21:57His coat's gone,
21:58but the car is still here.
22:00He must have gone for a walk.
22:02Oh, shit.
22:03He's out in the world.
22:04He could learn the truth
22:05and have another heart attack.
22:10Hey, how about those
22:11fucking fake kangaroos, huh?
22:13What?
22:28Excuse me, sir?
22:30Yeah?
22:30Sir, we're doing a man-on-the-street
22:32interview for Channel 6 News.
22:33Would you be willing
22:34to give your opinion?
22:35Always.
22:36We're wondering how you feel
22:37about the O.J. verdict.
22:39Oh, I love it.
22:40Makes me proud to be an American.
22:42Really?
22:43Absolutely.
22:43I would have done
22:44the exact same thing
22:45if I was on that jury.
22:47What about those who say
22:48the verdict was racially motivated?
22:50Bullshit.
22:50As far as I'm concerned,
22:52O.J.'s getting
22:53exactly what he deserves.
22:55Okay, well,
22:55thank you for your time.
22:57Hey, can you believe
22:58your weather lady's
22:59fucking the anchor?
23:08Hey, Matty.
23:09I haven't seen you in a few days.
23:10What you been up to?
23:11I had a heart attack.
23:13Yeah, I had to put a fucking
23:14stent in my artery.
23:15Oh, yeah?
23:16I got one of those.
23:17Yeah, I'm mostly stent
23:18at this point.
23:19They give you last rights?
23:20No.
23:21Oh, don't fucking bore me.
23:23Hey, how about
23:24that O.J. verdict, huh?
23:26Don't remind me.
23:27I'm still pissed off about it.
23:29Why?
23:29But once they got it right.
23:31Are you shitting me?
23:32The whole thing was rigged.
23:34Well, maybe a little,
23:35but, you know,
23:36sometimes you gotta put
23:37your thumb on the scales
23:38of justice just to make sure
23:39things turn out fair.
23:40Justice?
23:41You don't know
23:41what you're fucking talking about.
23:43The hell I don't.
23:44Hey, hey,
23:44I got other customers here, huh?
23:46Yeah, you're right.
23:47We shouldn't be bickering.
23:49We sound like
23:50Gary and Gladys Galumph.
23:52Who?
23:54From the comic strip.
23:55Never heard of it.
23:57It's in the paper every day.
23:58I think they put that
23:59stent in your fucking brain.
24:01The fucking Galumphs!
24:02Jesus Christ, you know,
24:04oh, Gladys, my ache and back.
24:06The Galumphs!
24:06I don't know what the fuck
24:07you're talking about!
24:08They're making a movie
24:09with Rosie O'Donnell!
24:10Oh, Matty!
24:11Thank God, there you are.
24:13Dad, we were looking
24:13all over for you.
24:14Honey, you gotta come home.
24:16You need your rest.
24:17I don't wanna go.
24:17I just got my beer.
24:18You gotta get him out of here, Susan.
24:20He's talking fucking crazy.
24:21Come on, Matty.
24:22He's fucking crazy!
24:23He's never heard
24:24of the fucking Galumphs!
24:25There ain't no Galumphs, asshole!
24:27You wouldn't know!
24:27You don't fucking read,
24:28you dumb fuck!
24:29I read Garfield
24:30like a regular fucking
24:31human being, fuck basically!
24:32Fuck Garfield,
24:33and fuck you!
24:33You should have been
24:34a fucking blowjob, asshole!
24:35Why don't you go
24:36shit in another urinal,
24:37you drunk fuck?
24:38Get him out of here!
24:40Glad you're doing better, though.
24:49He's asleep.
24:50Well, that was a close
24:51fucking call.
24:52You guys,
24:53this is insane.
24:54We have to tell him the truth.
24:56It's too risky.
24:57Plus, I already started
24:58working on tomorrow's Galumphs.
24:59Gary goes as himself
25:00for Halloween
25:01because of inflation.
25:02Ha!
25:03Maybe we should wait
25:04a little while longer
25:06until he gets
25:07his strength back.
25:08No!
25:08This is fucking crazy!
25:10He walked to Trammels.
25:11That's the most exercise
25:12he's gotten in years.
25:13He's fine.
25:14He almost got in a fistfight
25:15over fucking Garfield
25:17and survived.
25:18But he's enjoying
25:19his new life.
25:20Please, Blair.
25:21All we have to do
25:22is lie to him forever
25:23and he'll be happy.
25:33Hello?
25:36I'm supposed to meet
25:37somebody here?
25:39Hello?
25:40I have some information
25:42you might want.
25:44Blair?
25:46Yes.
25:47What the fuck
25:48are we doing here?
25:49Do they know you're gone?
25:50No!
25:50I climbed out
25:51the bathroom window
25:52like the note said.
25:53What the fuck
25:53is going on?
25:54The rest of the family
25:56doesn't want you
25:56to see this,
25:57but I can't keep
25:59living a lie.
26:03What's this?
26:04Some kind of joke paper?
26:06No, Maddie.
26:07It's the real newspaper.
26:10O.J. is a free man.
26:13What?
26:14Read the rest.
26:18It's...
26:19It says Cleveland
26:20swept the Red Sox
26:21out of the playoffs!
26:22Of course they lost.
26:23They're the Red Sox.
26:24You're fucking with me!
26:26Look at the funnies.
26:29The galumphs!
26:31Where are the fucking galumphs?
26:33There are no galumphs,
26:35Maddie.
26:37But...
26:37But Hillary Clinton?
26:39Her dick was real, right?
26:42No.
26:43She has a vagina.
27:01Hey, look, that's the guy from the news!
27:03Hey!
27:04Thanks for sticking out for O.J.
27:06What?
27:07What?
27:07You're the blackest white man in Boston!
27:18Oh, my God.
27:23Um, I'll call an ambulance.
27:25No.
27:27Let me die.
27:37Oh, Maddie.
27:39Thank God you're okay.
27:40I was so scared.
27:42I'm fine.
27:43I'm actually starting to get used to these heart attacks.
27:45Next one should be a breeze.
27:47Oh, you're not allowed to have any more heart attacks.
27:49We're gonna have a long life together.
27:53I love you, Maddie Bennett.
27:55I love you too, Susan.
27:57I'm sorry, Uncle Maddie.
27:59I thought telling you the truth was the right thing to do.
28:01I didn't realize you were so...
28:04entrenched.
28:06Anyways, yeah, I'm sorry.
28:08No, it's all my fault.
28:09This whole thing started because I'm a freeloading fuck-up.
28:12Then I fucked it up even worse by tricking you.
28:15I don't blame you for being pissed.
28:17Are you kidding?
28:18I'm not pissed.
28:20I'm fucking impressed.
28:21What?
28:22Yeah.
28:23You made a whole newspaper every day for a week.
28:27Shit, it was some of the best sports writing I've read in years.
28:31And the news.
28:32Johnny, you created an entire world.
28:35A world I want to live in.
28:36Where the Red Sox don't suck.
28:38Where Madonna is dead.
28:40And where a white guy in America can finally get a fair shake.
28:45Could I get some morphine?
28:46Sure.
28:47I'll join you.
28:48Yeah, it was a lie, but it gave me something to believe in.
28:53And if you can do all that, I know you can do anything you set your mind to.
28:59Oh, it's kind of a two-man operation.
29:01So you don't think I'm a fuck-up?
29:02You got potential, Johnny.
29:05I'm proud of you.
29:08Thanks, Dad.
29:20Oh, man.
29:22It's just starting to hit me that high school's really over.
29:25Yeah, there's no denying it.
29:26You and I are now responsible adult members of society.
29:30Hear me that bong.
29:31We'll probably end up getting our own place soon.
29:33You think Mom will still come over to, like, do our laundry and clean up and shit?
29:37Abso-fucking-lutely not.
29:39She's right, Johnny.
29:40We're grown-ups now.
29:41We'll bring the laundry to Susan.
29:43I say we become industrial bigwigs with an office in the World Trade Center.
29:48Two offices.
29:49One in each tower.
29:50And a satellite office in the Pentagon for all those fat government contracts.
29:53And a summer home for vacations.
29:55I hear they got some great open land in Pennsylvania.
29:58Ah, nothing will stop us.
29:59I think you guys might need to lower your expectations a little bit.
30:03Oh, nuh-uh.
30:03You heard my dad.
30:05I can do anything I set my mind to.
30:07I can go to college, invent something.
30:09The sky's the limit.
30:10So, what are you gonna do?
30:23You sure this is what you want?
30:25Never been more sure of anything in my life.
30:29I'm gonna get totally ripped.
30:31You mean like a normal level of in-shape?
30:33No.
30:34Like really ripped.
30:36Like so muscular that people who love me are concerned.
30:39I support you in this endeavor.
30:41Let's go.
30:44And John did indeed get massively swole.
30:48There was a seven-year period where he never once wore a shirt.
30:52Eventually, he married a really cool girl.
30:55But they got divorced.
30:56And he met another cool girl.
30:59You know what?
31:00There are two movies about it.
31:01Just watch them.
31:02Well, the first one.
31:03The second one has funny moments.
31:05Most of them in the first half.
31:06But even I can't sit still for the whole thing.
31:09Anyway.
31:09Here's the end credits.
31:17Oh, you've got a head full of someone dreadful.
31:22And yet, alas, that someone adores you.
31:27Everybody needs a best friend.
31:30I'm happy I'm yours.
31:33I'm just a clown.
31:36And I'll bring you down.
31:40But you just don't care for yours.
31:46Best friend is me.
31:48I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:03I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:07I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:08I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:08I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:08I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:10I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
32:12I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm
32:18Gracias por ver el video.
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