- 2 days ago
Comic Relief S2026E04 More Funny For Money
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TVTranscript
00:01Hello, you. It's me again!
00:03Yes, you thought I'd retired.
00:05I had plans, lovely ones,
00:07which mostly involved lying on a beach with a wrong punch.
00:11But then the country went, and I'll put this politely,
00:14full bonkers!
00:16I'll get back to the shop and everyone's up on each other's grill, right?
00:18Taking sides, north v south, blues v reds, low v high,
00:22people live-streaming themselves, walking to the bin,
00:25conspiracy podcasts about chickens.
00:27We can't win.
00:28The truth is, all of us are finding life challenging at the moment.
00:31Let's face it, the news isn't brilliant.
00:35Sorry, but here's what's amazing about us.
00:38We know how to come together when it counts,
00:40not just by forming an orderly queue,
00:42although, to be honest, we do love a queue,
00:45but by picking each other up, not picking sides.
00:48When it really matters, we stick together and stick on one of these bad boys
00:51and joyfully make complete fools of ourselves for money!
00:54Because behind the wigs, the sketches, the dodgy dancing,
00:59we know we can make real change.
01:01That's food on someone's table.
01:02A safe place to sleep, support, protection, hope.
01:06The not funny stuff we all depend on.
01:09And all of it, all of it, my friends, made possible
01:11because someone somewhere decided to run a marathon in a mankini.
01:16And that, my friends, is the definition of a truly united kingdom.
01:20It's you, yes you, who year after year come together
01:23for incredible nights like tonight to be funny, raise money and change lives.
01:28Which for a dude like me, could just be the best punchline ever.
01:33I am so sorry, sorry.
01:35Can we get a camera, Doctor, please?
01:37Can we roll VT?
01:38Davina, help!
01:41I've got you, Lenny.
01:42Welcome to a very special edition of the Best Bits from Comic Relief 2026,
01:46where we look back at a magical night of fun, fundraising and epic challenges.
01:52Here's what's to come on the show.
01:54Stand by as Dermot and Alison find a creative way to raise money for Comic Relief.
01:58If it makes you feel any better, it's all going to a very good cause.
02:03There's confusion in hit sitcom Amanda Land.
02:06Oh, Amanda's.
02:07Ah!
02:10We celebrate Greg James completing his epic tandem challenge.
02:14Sarah Cox's challenge is harder.
02:16Hey!
02:17And treacherous antics in The Traitors, the movie, the sequel.
02:22Oh!
02:23I am wearing a red cloak because I...
02:26You're the secret traitor.
02:27Oh, you're really spoiled that.
02:30Plus Coldplay unveil their plans for Game of Thrones, the musical.
02:34Thank you, John Snow.
02:35This kid.
02:37Thank you, kid Snow.
02:38That's all to come on Comic Relief, more funny for money.
02:41And your hosts for this afternoon's highlights from the big night.
02:45It's only LaVoie and Jill Scott.
02:47Aw, thanks, Davina, and welcome, welcome, welcome!
02:51It's nice to be with you, Jill.
02:53And you, LaVoie.
02:54And don't tell my good friend Karen Carney, but I was voting for you for Strictly.
02:58I knew it.
02:59And look at us.
03:00We are bringing the sparkle to Comic Relief.
03:01You look amazing!
03:02You look great.
03:03You really do.
03:04This is Comic Relief, more funny for money.
03:06And we are here to relive some of the best moments from Friday's epic fundraising show.
03:12Now, there are so many highlights to choose from, but we haven't got all day.
03:16So, Jill got brutal with her selections.
03:18What's up first, Jill?
03:20Well, kicking us off is the one and only Nan, who opened the show with a good old fashioned
03:25knees up to a Queen classic.
03:27Brilliant.
03:28Could you not wait to do the sweeping?
03:29We're filming for the BBC.
03:31I just can't get the staff.
03:36Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time.
03:43I feel alive.
03:49And the world will turn it inside out.
03:57I'm floating around in ecstasy.
04:07So, don't stop me now.
04:13Don't stop me.
04:15Cause I'm having a good time.
04:17I'm having a good time.
04:18I'm a singing star leaping from the sky.
04:21Not a side girl denying the laws of gravity.
04:26Here we go.
04:26I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Cadavra.
04:31I'm gonna go, go, go.
04:34There's no stopping me.
04:36I'm burning through the sky.
04:39Yeah!
04:40200 degrees.
04:41That's why they call me Mrs. Ferdin'.
04:44Hey!
04:45I'm travelling at the speed of light.
04:47I wanna make the supersonic dead.
04:53Don't stop me.
04:54Don't stop me.
04:55Don't stop me.
04:55Don't stop me.
04:56Don't stop me.
04:57Don't stop me.
04:58Oh, oh, oh.
04:59Don't stop me.
05:00Don't stop me.
05:01Have a good time.
05:03Don't stop me.
05:04Don't stop me.
05:06Don't stop me.
05:08Don't stop me now.
05:09I'm having such a good time.
05:11I'm having a ball.
05:13Don't stop me now.
05:15And if you want to have a good time, just give me a call.
05:19Don't stop me, cos I'm having a good time.
05:23Don't stop me, cos I'm having a good time.
05:26Don't want to stop at all.
05:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:37Wow.
05:39Next up, it's the turn of national telly treasures Dermot O'Leary
05:43and Alison Hammond, who recently visited a local bank
05:47hoping to raise a lot of money for Comic Relief.
05:57Hi, I'm Alison Hammond.
05:58And I'm Dermot O'Leary.
05:59Now, Comic Relief has always been a cause close to our hearts.
06:03So today we've come to this bank in central London,
06:05where, with the help of their amazing staff and customers,
06:07we hope to raise an awful lot of money.
06:10So, let's go meet them.
06:13Yes, absolutely. Take one of them. Have a good day.
06:24Everybody on the ground now!
06:26You heard him!
06:27On the ground! Now!
06:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:37Let's all remain calm, people.
06:40Yo, fill this up.
06:45I'm down. I'm down.
06:47We're just here for the money.
06:51Seriously, no-one try and be a hero.
06:54Thank you all for your cooperation.
06:56If it makes you feel any better, it's all going to a very good cause.
07:02Nobody move!
07:03You do what I say and no-one gets hurt.
07:06Sorry, what do you think you're doing?
07:07What do you think you're doing?
07:08Well, we ask first.
07:09Wait.
07:11I know that voice.
07:13Take off your masks.
07:17Alison Hammond and Dermot O'Leary.
07:20It's me.
07:21Sean McGarty.
07:23What are you doing here?
07:25I'm trying to raise money for Comic Relief, inn't I?
07:27They said to me, do you want to climb Kilimanjaro?
07:29I said, are you all right?
07:30I've been in the jungle eating fish bums.
07:31No, thanks.
07:31They wanted us to swim to the Isle of Man.
07:34I was like, no way.
07:35Dermot can't even swim.
07:37I can swim.
07:38Choose not to.
07:40But anyway, listen.
07:41You can't rob this bank, because we were here first.
07:43Well, what am I supposed to do?
07:45It's nearly closing time.
07:46I ain't going to find another bank, am I?
07:47It's not our problem.
07:50Give me your money, then.
07:55Do you know something?
07:56I don't think that's a real gun.
07:58Yeah, all right.
08:01It's a baguette.
08:02Don't worry.
08:03Dermot's isn't real, either.
08:05Water pistol.
08:06Mum got it for my 50th.
08:07Milk.
08:09But anyway, listen.
08:10What we'll do is we'll split the money between the three of us,
08:13and then we'll donate it to Comic Relief.
08:15Right.
08:16Not so fast!
08:18This is a stick-up!
08:20Give me all the money now!
08:23Wait.
08:24Is that you, Chris McCausland?
08:26How did you know?
08:27You haven't, um...
08:28You haven't been with any eye holes?
08:32Oh, yeah.
08:33Plus, you've got your BBC pass.
08:36Oh, damn!
08:37And your gun's a pepper grinder.
08:39Listen, don't you think I don't know who you are?
08:41I've got an ear for voices.
08:44Richard Madeley.
08:45Chris, that's not Richard.
08:47Wow, Adele, what are you doing here?
08:49There's three of us here already.
08:50Yeah, I know there is, Dame Judi Dench.
08:55Look, I'm just trying to do my little bit for Comic Relief.
08:58Chris, I hope you don't mind me asking.
09:00It's one thing we're going to restrict me,
09:01but how do you successfully expect to rob a bank?
09:03Well, it was either do this bit or be the getaway driver.
09:06Well, fair enough.
09:07Makes sense, doesn't it?
09:08Nobody move!
09:10Everybody underground!
09:11This is a robbery!
09:13What now?
09:14Oh, hi, guys.
09:16Here we are.
09:18Really?
09:19It's me, Stephen.
09:21It's an honour to have you here, Mr Spielberg.
09:24No, Stephen Mulhern.
09:26TV's catchphrase.
09:28Deal or no deal?
09:30Three days at four.
09:32I love that show.
09:33Shut it!
09:35No, officer, it's not a joke.
09:37Alison Hammond and Dermot O'Leary,
09:39and now Stephen Mulhern.
09:41Yes, the one from Deal or no deal weekdays at four.
09:43Come quick!
09:44OK, guys, let's split the cash,
09:47but before we do,
09:48is there anyone else planning to rob this bank?
09:52Guys, you may as well just come out now.
09:56Sorry we're late.
09:57Got the wrong bus.
09:59Hiya.
10:00All right.
10:01We bought sandwiches.
10:02Natalie Cassidy and...
10:04Nico Milano.
10:05And who are you?
10:06Really?
10:07Sabre the gladiator.
10:09Right, now we've all been introduced,
10:11give us a dosh or I'll blast ya.
10:17With my trumpet.
10:25Oh, Dermot, make it stop.
10:27Give me the cash.
10:28Hey, you said we'd split it, you traitor.
10:30Uh, ain't you the traitor?
10:32No, I'm a YouTuber,
10:33and my PR wanted me to make that very clear.
10:35Listen to me.
10:36We're not round the round table now.
10:38We were outside.
10:39I can't believe you don't even want to deal or no deal.
10:40You're a little.
10:41No, don't, yo, don't.
10:42You dare, yo, don't.
10:43Please don't.
10:44Quiet!
10:46OK, we're going to split the lot between the eight of us.
10:48Agreed?
10:48I guess.
10:49How much is that each?
10:50Well, if I cut the sandwiches into triangles,
10:52I guess we've got enough to go around.
10:53I only like cheese.
10:54I've got pepper.
10:55I meant the money.
10:56How much money is that each?
10:58Well, it's about...
11:01Oh, that'll never come out, will it?
11:04Woo!
11:07I'll get nicked again.
11:11We messed up.
11:13Please give what you can.
11:14The red postage.
11:15Ow!
11:16I'm a celebrity.
11:17Get me out of these cars.
11:18Let's go.
11:19Don't believe it.
11:20Ariana Grande.
11:21What a day.
11:22You said this would be easier than swimming to the island, man.
11:25I know.
11:26Because I can't swim.
11:31All right, all right.
11:32Calm down, calm down.
11:33John Luthor's here.
11:35Robbery's over.
11:37You'll be happy to know that the idiots who tried to rob this bank,
11:40well, they're going to serve 10 to 15 years in a slammer.
11:44Which is silly, really, because they could have easily got away of it.
11:48Right!
11:49Everyone, down on the floor now.
11:54Look, Comic Relief are going to have me cycle to Aberdeen.
11:58No, thanks.
11:58And plus, these overcoats are not cheap.
12:00So don't judge me.
12:02Oh, and happy Red Nose Day.
12:04Right!
12:05Open the safe, you!
12:06Open the safe!
12:09Now, for all the laughs we have on Red Nose Day,
12:12it's all for an important reason.
12:14To support people to be able to eat, sleep and feel safe in the UK and abroad.
12:20For so many, the cost of living is putting extreme pressure on household budgets.
12:25And, for those dependent on their pension, the impact can be devastating.
12:31In this next film, we want to tell you about Stephen.
12:34Here's his story.
12:36Brought to life by an actor.
12:43She was a lovely dancer.
12:46She was the first one on the dance floor, and the last one off.
12:59we got married 6th of june 1964 it was such a wonderful day i loved it to pieces i'd seen
13:10hard times seen good times go to skegness island man scarborough went all over oh fantastic times
13:19how could our farewell mean as much as our time she was only ill for six months that you leave
13:29behind
13:32i stayed with her till the last day but i lost her 17 years ago
13:40it was a terrible thing you just miss them i used to love them on anything
13:46i was very lonely i just sat in the house day and night it's heartbreaking i could sit there and
13:56cried when you're getting old nobody really wants to know you
14:04i was struggling money didn't go very far utile living on the pension food in the shop are very
14:12expensive it's gone mostly this last couple of months even small items like bread i don't get
14:20the best get the cheapest since i found out about the lighthouse project it's just made me a lot
14:28happier person it's nice to come in meet people have company
14:35to love and no love in return the pantry the lighthouse is for people who are hungry
14:45when i didn't have enough money i used to come down and get food
14:51i've worked all my life it's hard to ask for help
14:58once i'm involved we have a fabulous tea disco
15:04people ask me can you jive i said yes
15:10full of aches and pains but i love to get up and dance
15:14oh it brings back memories brilliant memories
15:19pauline still miss her to this day
15:23when you love somebody then you lose them it's hard
15:28really hard
15:30to love and no love in return
15:45somebody said you got a new friend
15:53does she love you better than i can
16:01and there's a big black sky over my tongue
16:09and i know where you're at i bet she's around
16:18and yeah i know it's stupid but i just gotta see it for myself
16:27and i'm in the corner watching you kiss
16:31and i'm right over here but why can't you see me
16:40oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:44oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:44oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:44oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:46oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:50oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:53oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:53oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:55oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:58oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
16:58oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
17:00oh
17:00so far away but still show me the lights come up the music dies but you don't see me
17:11standing here I just came to say goodbye I'm in the corner watching you kiss
17:21oh I'm giving it my all but I'm not the guy you're taking home
17:34and I keep dancing on my own
17:38so far away but still so near the lights come up the music dies
17:51but you don't see me standing here
18:08Thanks to Callum Scott for that beautiful performance and thank you to Stephen and his family for allowing us to
18:15tell his story
18:16we know times are tough and we're grateful for whatever you can give as your donations really do help to
18:22make a difference and it's really simple to donate
18:24here to tell you exactly how is the brilliant cast of the play that goes wrong hopefully getting all the
18:31donation details right
18:32good luck
18:38good evening you join us on the set of the play that goes wrong where the cast are here to
18:43tell you just how easy it is to give to comic relief tonight
18:48Chris we're not ready yet to donate 40 30 20 or 10 pounds
18:56text the word 40 30 20 or 10 to 70702
19:04text will cost your donation amount plus your standard network message charge 100% of your donation will go to
19:11the registered charity comic relief
19:17you must be 16 years or older and please ask the bill payers permission
19:24or you can donate any amount to online at bbc.co.uk forward slash red nose day which is where
19:34you will also find full terms and conditions
19:43or use the QR code which which takes you straight to the comic relief donations page
19:58you can also call 0 3 4 5 7 9 10 9 10
20:05standard geographic geographic standard geographic charges for landlines and mobiles will apply
20:13or donate or donate via a check made payable to red nose day 2026
20:26and send it to red nose day 2026
20:29po box 126 35 colchester co7 5 a n
20:36i did it
20:40thank you
20:53thanks to the amazing cast of the play that goes wrong now listen the actors use specially designed fake props
21:00and are professionally trained in the art of tomfoolery
21:04so don't try anything you've just seen at home especially taking a swig from a bottle marked with a warning
21:10and a skull and crossbones label
21:11and please remember say yes to gift aid if eligible here's a lesson on why it's important from miss mccall
21:19and her star pupil lauren
21:28hello are you davina mccall
21:30are you davina mccall
21:35you look like davina mccall are you davina mccall
21:41yes i'm davina mccall
21:43all right
21:46do you know what i'm here to talk to you about today
21:50is it your menopause
21:58no it's it's not that
22:01then no
22:02um actually it's about gift aid you know comic relief's red nose day that's in november
22:08no that's children in need
22:11no one knows the difference miss
22:12i think they do
22:14and no one cares
22:16britain's broken miss
22:18oh britain's broken
22:211.869 million unemployed to be exact miss
22:25who's got time for the one i bath
22:28i think you're being unnecessarily pugnacious
22:35thank you
22:38look can we get back to what we were talking about can i ask you a question
22:41yeah i just want to ask you a question i just want to ask you a question can i ask
22:45you a question
22:46ask me a question have you found my long lost family
22:58lauren
22:59how have you found me
23:01oh my family are long and they're lost
23:03miss
23:05miss i need my letter i need my letter on my cup of tea
23:09please miss miss miss have you found my dna mac
23:12miss am i a twin
23:14am i a twin miss oh my god are you my real mum
23:18are you my real mum though oh no miss i ain't gonna exercise
23:20that's not that is enough lauren
23:22enough honestly this is ridiculously churlish this behavior is unacceptable i cannot imagine that your parents are proud right now
23:32oh
23:34are you disrespecting my long lost family
23:38do you know what i thought for once
23:40for once you could do something for others it was just a small ask
23:44um to get the word out about gift aid but clearly you're incapable of doing anything for others
23:50and if you don't change you're going to be on a one-way street
23:54right
23:54to nowhere
23:55oh
23:56oh
23:56oh
23:56oh
23:57oh
23:58oh
23:59oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:03oh
24:08I'm not bothered though, but I don't even care because I ain't even bothered.
24:12Look at my face.
24:13Right, look at my face.
24:14Are you looking at my face?
24:15Yes.
24:16Right, is any part of it bothered?
24:18No.
24:19Cos I ain't bothered.
24:20Oh.
24:20Look, face bothered.
24:22Miss, I don't care.
24:23My family ain't even lost.
24:26Look, face bothered.
24:27I don't care.
24:27Look, face bothered.
24:28Gift date.
24:29Who cares?
24:30Ain't bothered.
24:31Davina, this is Davina.
24:32You are live on Channel 4, please do not swear.
24:35What am I?
24:37Look, face bothered.
24:38Pussy.
24:39Who doesn't care?
24:41Me.
24:43I ain't bothered.
24:48Gift date.
24:49You.
24:51If you are a UK taxpayer saying yes to gift date, let's charities claim extra money from
24:56the government.
24:57It costs you nothing, but gives the charity 25% more.
25:01Forgetting to tick the box when you donate can add up to millions missed for comic relief.
25:06So do not forget to do just that.
25:08Terms and conditions apply!
25:10All right.
25:11All right.
25:15All right.
25:17All right.
25:19Over to that old man off the masked singer who thinks he's shit.
25:37Now one of my personal highlights from Friday night
25:40Was watching Nick Muhammad and Joe Marla
25:42Relive their time on Celebrity Traitors
25:45Oh I love that, what an incredible series
25:47But I could never behave like any of them you know
25:49I believe in sportmanship and integrity and loyalty
25:52This is not the time to relive your dating profile of war
25:55This is the time to relive The Traitors
25:57The movie, the sequel
25:59Oh that's what it is, I thought I was doing Yoda
26:05Amazing Fringe Productions presents
26:07The Traitors
26:09The movie
26:10The sequel
26:12Starring Vicky Patterson as Rachel
26:16Ian Sterling as Stephen
26:18And Alison Steadman as Fiona
26:21By the order of The Traitors
26:24You have been murdered
26:27Introducing Amanda Redman as Amanda
26:30I'm an ex-police officer
26:32So I never miss a trick
26:34Jessica Hines as crime writer Harriet
26:37You should have killed me when you had the chance
26:39Directed by award-winning genius Ruby Wax
26:43Tracking shot, mega pan, drone, zoom, lower the gym
26:48You know, I don't really know what I'm talking about
26:51But I love blowing into this thing
26:52Featuring Anna Friel as Claudia Winkleman
26:56English woolen gloves
26:58Check
26:58Stylish roll neck sweater
27:00Check
27:01Sophisticated jacket in Highland check
27:05Check
27:07Experience the drama of the round table
27:11With Scott Mills as James
27:14And Fleur East as Roxy
27:16Well, I haven't got a clue who it could be
27:18Sorry, James, can you speak up?
27:20That shirt's so loud I can't hear you
27:22I said I haven't got a clue who any of them are
27:24Sorry, we still can't hear you
27:27Come in, Mum
27:28Shh
27:28I mean, Judy, definitely not Mum
27:31Well, I'd like to say something about Stephen
27:34He could never be a traitor
27:35I mean, just look at him
27:39I agree
27:40Introducing Lewis Cope as Jack
27:42Stephen's my best mate in here
27:44And if he were a traitor, I would definitely know
27:50See how alliances are made
27:52So we're agreed
27:53Partners till the very end
27:55Don't mess with me
27:56I was trained by the FBI
27:58Wow, that's amazing
27:59And don't worry
28:00I won't double-cross you
28:01For the sake of a dramatic ending
28:04Cooey
28:06I can tell you're surprised
28:08But I let you into a little secret
28:11I am wearing a red cloak
28:13Cos I secret traitor
28:15Oh, you really spoiled that
28:17Come, race up for close-ups
28:19I'm really sure Alison Steadman is right to play me
28:23I'm just not feeling it
28:25I love Vicki Patterson
28:26But I'm also worried she's been a bit miscast as me
28:29She keeps slipping into a strong Geordie accent
28:32Aw, how are you, man?
28:33I didn't say that
28:34I sound just like you in your night
28:36I don't think Ian Sterling's right to play me
28:39Excuse me?
28:40Sorry, I just imagined someone a wee bit fitter
28:43Fair enough
28:45The problem is I'm actually keeping two secrets
28:48One, I'm a traitor
28:50And two
28:52My collar gets bigger every time I tell a lie
28:55I think Rachel's a traitor
28:58She's not
28:59And I should know
29:00Cos, eh...
29:02Never mind
29:03It's an absolute nightmare
29:04I think Stephen might be a traitor
29:07I am not a traitor
29:09How dare you, actually?
29:11Maybe they won't notice
29:12I promise you I am not a traitor
29:15Someone is in this very room
29:20OK, let's settle this once and for all
29:22As a crime writer, just banish me
29:25And I'll stand up there
29:27And tell you all I am faithful
29:30Time for talking is over
29:31And I'm standing still
29:33So the time for walking is over
29:35And I've just finished eating my lunch
29:37With this handy spoon and fork combination
29:42So the time for sporking is over
29:45Harriet, are you a traitor?
29:53I am
29:55And always have been
30:00A faith
30:01Ah, ah, ah
30:02Let me finish
30:04I am
30:05And always have been
30:07A faith healer
30:08It's just a little thing I do on the side
30:09Just to make a few quid
30:10I am
30:12And always have been
30:17A trade
30:19Ah, ah, ah
30:20Let me finish
30:22A train spotter
30:23I like trains
30:24I am
30:26And always have been
30:29A faithless fan
30:32I can't get Noel's sleep
30:34Love a bit of faithless
30:35Enough
30:36She's a bloody faithful
30:38Okay?
30:39Can we please get on?
30:41Rachel
30:42I'm going to have to throw you under the bus
30:44And tell everyone
30:45That you're actually
30:46A traitor
30:47What?
30:49You
30:49You
30:51I warned you
30:52Never mess with a woman
30:53Who's once read an e-book
30:54Written by a man
30:56Who's nearly seen all
30:57Of Silence of the Lambs
30:58I've got something else to tell you
30:59Not everyone
31:00Is what they seem
31:02I was a senior detective
31:04In the police force
31:05Judy
31:06Is my mum
31:08Ellie
31:09Is my girlfriend
31:10And these aren't even real sideburns
31:13Oh
31:14And I
31:16Am your father
31:18Sorry, that's my throat
31:20And I am your father
31:22Much better
31:22No
31:23Yeah
31:24No
31:24I am
31:25Oh
31:26Aye
31:26Now you see
31:28Your face does ring a bell
31:29Give us a hug
31:32Oh
31:35I'm sorry
31:35But if he's meant to be my dad
31:37Do you not think
31:38This music's a little bit
31:39On the romantic side?
31:40Just go with it
31:41It's for charity
31:44Oh, hiya, you two
31:45Nice to see you
31:47Oh, no
31:48What are you doing?
31:49Oh
31:49No
31:50Not the face
31:58And here ends the tale of treachery
32:01Deceit
32:02And very questionable acting
32:04And the model of this story
32:06Don't ever mess with the real traitors
32:20You're watching Comic Relief
32:22More Funny for Money
32:23And it's your second chance
32:24To see all the best bits
32:26From Red Nose Day
32:27And
32:27Another chance
32:28To get your hands
32:29On a mega prize
32:30I'm going to be joking, Jill
32:31Listen, when I saw this offer
32:33I nearly lost my eyelashes
32:34Seriously
32:34But then I realised
32:36It's not about me
32:36It's about the cause
32:37And I'm talking about
32:38Winning tickets
32:39To see Harry Styles
32:40Live
32:41At Wembley Stadium
32:42On Friday the 12th of June
32:44These
32:44These are golden tickets
32:46You could be in with the chance
32:47Of winning
32:48Not one
32:49Not two
32:50But six tickets
32:51To watch the music icon
32:53Perform in the gig of the year
32:55We'll include travel
32:56And accommodation
32:57For your whole crew
32:58And you'll get the full star treatment
33:01With hospitality
33:02At the venue
33:03So to be in with the chance
33:04Of winning this golden prize
33:06Here are all the important
33:08Terms and conditions
33:09Okay, I'll let you have that one
33:13For the chance to win
33:14And donate £10 to Comic Relief
33:16Text the word Harry
33:17To 81144
33:19You'll be charged
33:20One standard rate message
33:21Plus a donation of £10 to Comic Relief
33:24You can opt out of the donation
33:26By replying cancel
33:27To your entry confirmation text
33:28Within 60 minutes
33:30You must be 18 or over
33:32And have the bill payers
33:33Permission to enter
33:34For full terms
33:35Prize description
33:36And how to enter by post and online
33:38Visit bbc.com
33:39bbc.co.uk
33:40Forward slash rednoseday
33:41Text and online entries
33:43Close at 11.59pm
33:44On the 19th of April 2026
33:47And postal entry closes
33:48On the 24th of April 2026
33:51Please do not enter after this time
33:53As your entry will not count
33:55But you may still be charged
33:56The winner will be notified by phone
33:58On the 6th of May 2026
34:03Now for those of you
34:04Who may have been living under a rock
34:06You may not have known
34:07That Radio 1's Greg James
34:09Completed the longest ever
34:10Celebrity bike ride
34:11For Comic Relief on Friday
34:13He cycled a staggering
34:151,000 kilometres
34:16From Weymouth to Edinburgh
34:18And raised an eye-warting amount of money
34:20All on a tandem
34:21What a hero
34:22Here is how his challenge
34:24Went down
34:273, 2, 1
34:30Today is day one of my longest ride
34:33And I'm kicking it all off
34:34In Weymouth
34:35You're not just doing this
34:36On any regular road bike
34:37You're doing it on a tandem
34:39Why are you doing it on a tandem
34:42Hi Greg
34:43How are you doing?
34:44It's definitely a challenge
34:45It's definitely difficult
34:46And I've got seven days left
34:48We're in Wales
34:49A horse with a red nose
34:51Oh my god
34:53That's next year's challenge
34:54Joe Lycett is giving him a tour of Birmingham
34:57Thanks so much
34:58That's very kind
34:59I'll go and get a pint in a minute
35:00Sorry, no, I mean I'll give it in the bucket
35:01The total is currently about 210,000
35:05What? Is it?
35:05Oh, did you know that?
35:06No way
35:09Oh yeah, it's the bloke from Radio 1
35:10And oh my god
35:12Is that Prince William?
35:14I wasn't going to bring your dad up
35:15But I hope he's alright
35:16Yeah, my dad's not in a great way
35:18Well, you know he's so proud of you
35:19We're all thinking of you as you're doing this
35:21I can tell you've raised £1,020,000
35:24No, we're over a million
35:25No way
35:27This is a bit of a wake-up call today
35:29My god, it's early
35:31I'm in a world of pain
35:33It's £2,000,000
35:35No!
35:36Let's go!
35:37Come on!
35:38You're alright, I got you
35:39A little dose of Jamie Lang in your day
35:41Here he is, coming in
35:43An emotional reunion
35:46Very, very special eight days
35:47That I've really, really needed
35:51Weymouth to Edinburgh
35:53What a stupid idea
35:54We did it!
35:57Get the anti-chase cream on standby, please
36:00Give us a huge hero's welcome to an incredible man
36:04It's Radio 1's Drake James, everyone!
36:27I can't believe you're here
36:31I'm so happy to see you
36:32You know, how are you feeling?
36:35I feel very happy to be here
36:38I feel very confused
36:39Because I woke up on the Scottish borders
36:41I've been, this morning at 4 o'clock
36:43I've started cycling to Edinburgh
36:45I then finished in Edinburgh
36:46And now I'm in Salford
36:48Incredible
36:49And I'm seeing you
36:49And I'm seeing everyone here
36:51And I'm just
36:51I'm overjoyed with how much money we raise with this thing
36:54And how joyful we managed to make the tandem adventure
36:59You know what was amazing was
37:00When you say the word joyful
37:02Seeing all those kids
37:03I mean, every, everywhere you went
37:06And then being joined
37:07I mean, Prince William
37:09Yeah
37:09Please, what was that like?
37:11A complete surprise
37:12So I was, I was
37:13Shouted out in my ear
37:15They said
37:15Turn off the road
37:16Into the car park
37:17And we were in a truck stop
37:19And by a car
37:20Prince William was just standing there
37:23And that's, that's the first time
37:24Any of us knew about it
37:25Because it was top secret
37:26And he was there
37:27And he was holding a helmet
37:29And then I said
37:30Have you got your own bike?
37:31And he went
37:32No, no
37:32I'm going to get on yours
37:34And I've never
37:36Held on
37:38More tightly
37:39Can you imagine
37:40What would have happened to me
37:41If he'd have fallen off
37:43That would have been the end
37:45Maybe the end of comic relief
37:48Are you ready to hear
37:49How much you have raised
37:51Yes
37:51For comic relief
37:53I've heard a few totals
37:55But
37:55Okay
37:55Can I have another one?
37:58Fancy another one
37:59Yes
38:00That's all I wanted from tonight
38:01Greg, your total is
38:054 million
38:07225
38:09£939
38:10Oh my god
38:12Oh my god
38:13Wow
38:164 million
38:19225
38:21£939
38:22Wow
38:23Wow
38:23Wow
38:24Wow
38:25Wow
38:25Wasn't that great
38:26Okay
38:27Time now
38:28To remind ourselves
38:28Why your donations
38:30Are so important
38:45I don't want to sit
38:46I don't want to sit
38:47Back at the church
38:49I don't want to sit
38:53When I know
38:54I'm coming home
38:55My sans
38:56My sentir
38:57My sentir
38:58I don't want to sit
38:59Oh my god
39:10This is the Harabek refugee settlement.
39:13We have refugees from South Sudan and they fled because there was war.
39:19This is one of our partner schools that we are supporting.
39:22My name is Tom.
39:24I work with African partners for child poverty.
39:27I am a facilitator for this session where children are modeling.
39:33If you look at some of this, it speaks a lot.
39:37Mary modeled this tree.
39:39She says that this tree reminds her of South Sudan.
39:44Their homes were terrorized by the rebels and they were sleeping in the bush for days without
39:50food, without water.
40:01This was a mother when they were escaping from their hideout and she said that she
40:08was this very little child here following the mother.
40:11There are a lot of things that took place in South Sudan that they witnessed themselves
40:15as young children.
40:17So these are the family members and people in the neighborhood that the rebels killed.
40:25This is not the kind of life that a child is supposed to go through.
40:31When they come here in this school, this is not just about education.
40:36The session of drawing and molding helps us to identify the needs of each individual child
40:42and we give them support.
40:44There are a lot of challenges that they are still facing, but there is still hope for
40:49happiness and for a brighter future.
40:52That's what the project does.
41:10Please give what you can.
41:12To donate 40, 30, 20 or 10 pounds, text the word 40, 30, 20 or 10 to 70702.
41:20Or call 03 457 910 910.
41:24Or you can scan the QR code which will take you to the Comic Relief website where you can
41:30donate any amount you want online.
41:33You'll also find the terms and conditions there.
41:36Now, one of the big highlights of the evening was the return of the brilliant Amanda Land,
41:42where for one night only, it became the Land of Amanda's.
41:50Oh, this is so exciting. I can't get enough Cox.
41:53Sarah Cox, and please use her full name. Try to be cool. This is a big deal for me.
42:01I mean, being asked onto national radio, that can only mean one thing.
42:08That producer got sick of your emails.
42:10That my content's finally broken through to the mainstream.
42:14You know what I think people are responding to?
42:17Low authenticity.
42:19Yeah.
42:20Oh, if anyone asks, you're my PA.
42:26Maya, I've got Amanda for you.
42:28Perfect. Thank you, Molly.
42:30Amanda.
42:31So great to put a face to an email.
42:34Are you OK?
42:35Sorry, I was expecting a different...
42:37Amanda Barry for you.
42:39Oh!
42:41Oh, you remember Al, my publicist.
42:44Hi, I was in last week with Amanda Seyfried.
42:46Yeah, yeah, of course. Um, hi, Al.
42:48Amanda.
42:49Hi, Amanda.
42:51Oh!
42:51And you are?
42:52No, I'm Amanda.
42:54Aw.
42:56Oh, my God.
42:57I feel sick.
42:58So, when I was booking an interview with national treasure Amanda Barry,
43:02I asked Siri to email her publicist, Al.
43:04But when I said message Amanda's Al, what it seems to have heard
43:06is message Amanda's... all.
43:09How many Amandas have you got in your address book?
43:12I am so sorry I'm late.
43:14Amanda Land for you?
43:15Amanda!
43:16Oh!
43:17Hi!
43:18I love me to see you.
43:19Amanda.
43:20Yes?
43:20No, I'm Amanda.
43:22Sorry, yeah, there's been a bit of a mix-up.
43:24Hi!
43:25And Amanda Byram.
43:26Amanda!
43:28Oh!
43:30Oh!
43:30Oh!
43:31Oh!
43:31Oh!
43:32Yeah.
43:33Oh, yeah, it's so fun.
43:36Yeah.
43:39So, this is entirely my bad, and I will, of course...
43:43Sorry, I got lost.
43:44Great.
43:45Of course, Amanda Collier.
43:46So, I will, of course, ensure that all...
43:50Er, well, the vast majority of you are invited back on.
43:53But I'm sure you all understand.
43:55Well, to be honest, I don't want to speak for all the Amandas here,
43:59but it does feel a little bit disrespectful.
44:01I mean, I have just come all the way from Soha, South Halston.
44:05I work in property.
44:06Never heard it called that.
44:08I just feel like you've got a room full of iconic women who deserve a little bit more than being
44:13told to go home.
44:14OK.
44:15Well, what would you suggest?
44:17Well, she's got a great idea, Maya.
44:21Um...
44:22Hmm.
44:26OK, fine.
44:27If I'm going to interview Alia, let's start with Barry.
44:30Or...
44:33Should we give him the order that we arrived?
44:35You know, let's go alphabetical.
44:36We'll go alphabetical, OK?
44:38So, we've got Harry, we've got Byram, we've got Collier.
44:41Amazing on traitors, by the way.
44:43So good.
44:43So good.
44:43Yeah, I was really good.
44:45And then we've got Lamb.
44:47Um...
44:48And then...
44:50Um...
44:50Hughes.
44:50So, I think I should really be before this.
44:52I think it'll be fine.
44:53It'll all work out.
44:55Just...
44:55Look, I will get to you, if we've got time.
44:58Right.
45:00Oh, Sarah, I am so sorry I'm late.
45:02It's Amanda Holden.
45:03Oh, Amanda's.
45:05Amanda!
45:07Uh, yeah.
45:08They, uh, they messed up the booking.
45:10OK.
45:11I'm just going to give my agent a quick ring.
45:18Oh.
45:19I adore you and Alan Carr.
45:22I love the whole will they, won't they thing you've got going on there.
45:25I know.
45:25I just want to ask her a question.
45:27Enough, enough, enough, enough.
45:28Sorry, Amanda.
45:29Just...
45:29My PA is still being trained.
45:31It's absolutely fine.
45:32Sorry, I need to make a call.
45:33Yes.
45:34Absolutely.
45:35Um, clearly the situation there is not exactly, um...
45:40Well, let's just say, not all Amandas were created equal, if you know what I mean.
45:44I know exactly what you mean.
45:45Right.
45:46There are A-Mandas and there are B-Mandas and, um...
45:50What if I said there might be a way for you and I to get a bigger bite of the
45:55microphone?
45:59A-Apple.
46:01Well, the microphone.
46:03Apple.
46:04Oh.
46:11Must be so stressful.
46:13So many Amandas.
46:15I have a similar problem in my house at Christmas.
46:17There's 11 Pats in my family.
46:20And another one on the way.
46:21Yeah.
46:22More Pats than Patsfield.
46:24As Pat likes to say.
46:26Oh, that's my cousin Pat, talking about Big Pat, who is a dairy farmer and also a former
46:32Ireland's strongest man.
46:33Okay.
46:34Tell me more.
46:36Oh.
46:36Um, well...
46:40Okay, so we're going to come to you guys at the end of the song.
46:42Well, actually, Sarah, sorry.
46:44I was thinking there's four minutes, six Amandas.
46:48I don't really think that reflects our profiles.
46:51Sorry, what?
46:52That's a really good point, actually, Amanda.
46:54I feel like I'm worth a bit more than 50 seconds.
46:58Right?
46:59Yeah.
47:00I think so.
47:01Yeah, I do too.
47:02Come on, guys.
47:03Let's get out of here.
47:04Go on, Amanda.
47:07You know what?
47:08No-one puts Amandas in the corner.
47:11You guys really need to get some windows in here.
47:14I mean...
47:15How do we go from too many Amandas to no Amandas at all?
47:18I mean, what are we going to do?
47:18We've got four minutes to fill.
47:22I mean...
47:23What did you do?
47:26Well...
47:26They didn't mind!
47:27I don't!
47:28I forgot to say that!
47:34Are you kidding me?
47:37So we've lifted Ireland's second strongest man, also called Pat.
47:42Clean over his head.
47:44So he actually broke another world record that he didn't even know about.
47:49Anne, what an incredible story!
47:51We will be back with Amanda.
47:52We're straight after the news.
47:54And that's if you can stick around, please.
47:56Oh, yeah.
47:56Sure.
47:57Absolutely.
47:58Why have you?
48:00I've actually got this lifestyle brand called Senu...
48:03No.
48:03I was wondering...
48:04A man...
48:05That is brilliant, Anne.
48:07I think we might have found the next Terry Wogan.
48:09You put the Anne in Wogan.
48:11Yeah.
48:17Well, that was jokes.
48:18Fancy some more laughs?
48:20Don't worry, we've got you.
48:21Take a look at this.
48:22I can't even hold the broom.
48:27Even McIntyre's done it.
48:30There's your bloke fun.
48:31Hello.
48:34Let's do this.
48:42Maybe they won't notice.
48:44I mean...
48:46Maybe they won't notice.
48:54It's not going to take the weight, this.
48:56It's going to rip.
48:57That's going to rip, that.
48:58Oh, playdom, man.
48:59Well, ****.
49:01I hit you with the boobs.
49:03We're going down.
49:09I was trying so hard not to laugh.
49:12People live-streaming themselves walking to the bin.
49:16Kitsbury, ugh.
49:19Kitsbury.
49:20Chuck a car on.
49:25You, fill this off.
49:29Oh, ****.
49:31Hit my knee.
49:33I can't even ride a bike.
49:35Anyway, these overcoats are not expensive.
49:37What?
49:42You can't laugh.
49:43I'm sorry.
49:44****.
49:47Sorry, did I ****?
49:50Help!
49:52My nose!
49:54I'm here at the Postcode Lottery operation.
49:57****.
49:59And then after that,
50:01I'm going to ask everyone
50:02if there's anyone else who wants a raw **** bang.
50:06That's what I'm going to do.
50:08And cut.
50:09Reset for action.
50:11No ****.
50:14Now, Lavoie,
50:16can you believe that it was 15 years ago
50:18since Game of Thrones was first shown?
50:2115 years?
50:22I've got bras older than that.
50:24Well, we've got something for you now
50:25that's equally as uplifting.
50:27Here's Coldplay with Game of Thrones, the musical.
50:35There are Starks and there are Lannisters and Kardashians and...
50:40Targaryens, idiot.
50:41And Targaryens and of course there's some unknowns.
50:46Welcome to the crazy, wacky world of Game of Thrones.
50:51Nice. I like it.
50:53Thanks, man. Cool.
50:54In an exclusive Red Nose Day revelation,
50:56we've discovered that the British band Coldplay
50:59are secretly working on a musical of TV sensation Game of Thrones.
51:04They've gathered in the Henson Recording Studio in Los Angeles
51:07to work up the 16 songs required for a full Broadway stage production.
51:12Around the world, my heart had to roll...
51:17Well, when I first heard about it, I was a little bit sceptical,
51:20but now I'm completely convinced it's a horrible idea.
51:27Closer to...
51:29One word that springs to mind when I'm thinking about this project
51:31is Titanic.
51:33But not in terms of the successful movie,
51:36in terms of the unsuccessful boat.
51:47Finally, after months of writing and planning,
51:50Chris has invited along the entire cast of Game of Thrones
51:53to recruit them into the live Broadway show.
51:56Fellas, how you doing? Good morning.
51:57I had a moment of inspiration.
51:59It was a flash of genius.
52:00Get the whole cast to come in.
52:02Everyone thought it was a brilliant idea,
52:03so that's what's happening.
52:05It's a big day. Big day for us.
52:06All the actors are gathering to hear the songs performed
52:09for the first time.
52:11Well, not all of them.
52:14More... two.
52:16I was told Sean Bean was gonna be here.
52:19He owes me a fiver.
52:21Chris, how do you think it's going?
52:23Stunning. Stunning.
52:24People are literally stunned.
52:26And what if some of them can't sing?
52:28Well, the funny thing is, they can sing.
52:30Boom, boom, boom, boom...
52:33Okay, three, four...
52:36Ready.
52:39... moving...
52:40No, no, no.
52:41Two, three, four...
52:44Robert, Robert, Robert.ana
52:46Espeswmit. Snabbing,
52:46come on. No, sorry,
52:47sorry. I'm sure he'll
52:52come back.
52:52Well, with these things, it's always step-by-step.
52:5550% of the cast seemed really into it,
52:59so I think we're onto something really special.
53:02It's been a slightly disappointing day.
53:11But then...
53:12Hey, Chris.
53:15I'm sorry I'm late.
53:18Oh, my God. Jon Snow.
53:23I knew you'd come.
53:24I'd never let you down, man.
53:26Thank you, Jon Snow.
53:28Miss Kit.
53:28Thank you, Kit Snow.
53:31Right.
53:32What have we got, man?
53:33It's day two of the workshop.
53:35Still going strong.
53:37And suddenly, things take a turn for the better.
53:40With a phone call from Jon Snow and the offer of free food,
53:44a huge chunk of the cast have arrived.
53:56Wildland.
53:59You make my heart sing.
54:04You pull your bowstring and shoot me.
54:10Wildland.
54:14Woo!
54:21Wildland.
54:22Woo!
54:23Woo!
54:25Yeah!
54:26Really good.
54:27Really, really, really, really, really good.
54:29Just one tiny thing.
54:32On the lings, just be careful going a little bit flat, so.
54:35No, he wasn't.
54:38You know nothing, Chris Martin.
54:40Don't mess around.
54:42You don't mess around with your daughter friends.
54:45Every style in the musical canon is captured in one day of blazing glory.
54:50Beautiful.
54:51Nice.
54:51If you're here for the wedding of Robbie Stark,
54:53keep the car running, there's no need to park.
54:55He's not going to make it through the night.
55:00Keep that wedding cake in the fridge.
55:02He didn't pay me back for using the bridge.
55:04I'm afraid this wedding won't be white.
55:08Red wedding, red wedding, lots of stabbing and a bit of beheading.
55:12The reins of Castamere are here to stay.
55:16Red wedding, dead wedding, head shredding, bloodshed wedding.
55:20There will be no wedding of wedding.
55:22Hey, you don't mess around with wall to fame.
55:26Bang, curtains, Tony Award.
55:29Great.
55:31News of the success of the workshop spreads like wildfire.
55:35Suddenly, everyone is in.
55:36Do you know what?
55:37I've never been prouder to be in anything.
55:39I always knew it was going to be a triumph.
55:42George R. Martin meets Chris Martin.
55:43What could go wrong?
55:45Are you thinking about Joffrey?
55:48Such a spirited lad.
55:59The greatest rock opera of all time is coming together.
56:03Closer to home, closer to home, a family tree with a branch of our own.
56:16I can't believe it.
56:17It's a dream come true.
56:18Everything is coming together.
56:20Everyone's on board.
56:21We just need George R. R. Martin's permission and then we're off.
56:25He's going to go absolutely crazy.
56:27And Chris was right.
56:28George R. R. Martin did go absolutely crazy.
56:34It's a setback.
56:35But a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
56:39Changed some words around.
56:40I've got plenty of other brilliant ideas.
56:42Bum, bum, bum, ba-ba-da ba-dum.
56:44Bum, bum, bum, ba-ba-da ba-bum.
56:47Bum, bum, ba-ba-da ba dum.
56:49Bum, bum, ba-ba-da ba-dum.
56:50Ah.
56:51That's not bad, actually.
56:54I'd better get my skates on, then.
57:02Well, sadly, it's almost the end of the show.
57:05Where did the time go?
57:06Well, you took ages to get ready
57:08and we've had to pick up your sequence along the way.
57:11My sequins? What about your muddy football boots?
57:13We've had to mop this floor ten times.
57:15Anyway, seriously, Jill and I, and in fact the whole team at Comic Relief,
57:20want to say a huge thank you for your amazing support and generosity.
57:24It means the absolute world.
57:25No, it really does.
57:27And please keep donating and keep supporting,
57:29as Comic Relief doesn't stop after this week, you know.
57:32It's all year round.
57:34I'll be lacing up my trainers to take on a unique sport relief challenge in the summer,
57:39so please keep an eye out for more.
57:41That's exciting, and I'm off for a leg wax.
57:43So before we go, let's relive a few more of this year's highlights.
57:47Thank you, and goodbye.
57:49That's not our lift home, is it?
57:51I hope not.
57:51I'm not going on that, Jill.
57:52Let's see if we can find our way out.
57:54Is this the door out?
58:02You ready?
58:18Perfect.
58:26All right.
58:28All right.
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