00:01why does God feel silent when you need him most it's not a small question it's
00:09the kind of question people ask when life has stopped feeling manageable that
00:14is the question that rises when your heart is tired your prayers feel
00:19unanswered and you've run out of strength to pretend like you're doing
00:24fine people ask that question when they're lying awake at night staring at
00:30the ceiling wondering why heaven feels so quiet while their life feels so loud
00:37that happens at 3 in the morning to me and then you ask questions like you know
00:45I've done everything that I know how to do I've prayed I've cried I've waited I've
00:53tried to hold on and still nothing seems to be moving you know what that kind
00:58of silence hurts it hurts because it's not just the pain of the situation it's the
01:05pain of feeling alone in the situation it's one thing to go through loss but it's
01:12another thing to go through loss and feel like God is not saying anything it's one
01:18thing to carry fear but it's a completely different thing to carry fear while
01:24wondering why the God you love seems so quiet that is where a lot of people are
01:31right now they are still functioning on the outside but inside something is shaking
01:40inside they're asking questions they do not always say out loud questions like God
01:47where are you God do you see this God do you hear me God why does it feel like I
01:57need you the
01:58most right now and in this moment you seem the hardest to find but the first thing I want to
02:06say is
02:08God's silence is not the same as God's absence just because he feels silent does not
02:17mean he has left just because you do not feel what you want to feel does not mean he
02:23is gone human beings often measure closeness by sensation you know I feel
02:32peace God is near I feel fire God is moving I feel comfort God is present but there are
02:42seasons where God is still present even when your emotions are too exhausted to recognize him there are
02:52moments when he is holding you in ways deeper than feeling and some of the hardest seasons of faith
03:00happen when you are being held but you do not feel held you see that gap can be painful and
03:09for me
03:10sometimes it's been very confusing because that gap can make even sincere believers wonder
03:17what the heck is going on but feelings are not always reliable interpreters of spiritual reality
03:25you can feel abandoned and still be deeply loved you can feel weak and still be carried you can feel
03:35silence and still be standing in the presence of God you know sometimes silence is not rejection
03:44sometimes silence is where deeper work begins sometimes what feels like rejection is actually protection think
03:56about a seed in the ground from the outside it looks buried it looks hidden and forgotten but buried is
04:04not the same
04:05is dead buried can be the beginning of growth buried can be the place where roots are forming
04:13buried can be the place where life is getting ready to break through and a lot of people are calling
04:21this season the end because they cannot see anything happening but God God has always done some of his greatest
04:32work in hidden places
04:35come with me I want you to think about this for a moment you see Joseph had a prison before
04:41he had a platform David had fields before he had a throne and even our Savior Jesus Christ had 30
04:53quiet years before the world saw the full weight of who he was and the cross itself the cross itself
05:02looked like silence
05:04it looked like defeat it looked like the end but what looked like silence on Friday was moving towards resurrection
05:15on Sunday so no silence does not always mean nothing is happening
05:22sometimes God is doing work so deep that you cannot measure it yet sometimes he is strengthening something in you
05:31before he changes something around you sometimes he is building endurance and sometimes he is exposing false foundations or teaching
05:45you that his presence is real
05:48even when it is real even when it is not wrapped in the emotional confirmation you expect
05:55and I know how that feels you know it's not always the answer that you want but when you're in
06:02pain you do not want a lesson you want relief when your heart is breaking you do not want long
06:10explanations you want God to step in and make the ache stop that is real
06:17and it's honest because we're human but sometimes the first miracle is not that the storm ends sometimes the first
06:27miracle is that you are sustained in the middle of it some of you listening right now have already lived
06:37that even if you did not realize it there were seasons you thought you would break and somehow here you
06:46are
06:46there were nights that felt impossible and yet mourning still found you there are losses that changed you disappointments that
06:57emptied you fears that have chased you and somehow through all of that something kept holding your life together and
07:09it may not have looked dramatic it might have it might have felt everything but beautiful
07:15beautiful but you were sustained that's what matters and that counts it's not nothing sometimes the proof of God's presence
07:27is not that you escaped the fire quickly sometimes the proof is that the fire did not consume you and
07:36maybe maybe that's where someone is today you've been waiting for a loud answer
07:43but what God has been waiting for a loud answer but what God has been waiting for a loud answer
07:45but what God has been giving you is quiet strength you have been waiting for instant clarity but what he's
07:51been waiting for everything to make sense but what he has been giving you is enough mercy to keep breathing
08:03enough strength enough strength to keep walking and enough light to take the next step even if you cannot see
08:13the whole road do not underestimate that that is power we live in a world that honors visible breakthroughs big
08:26moments public victories immediate change
08:29but some of the holiest things God does are invisible at first a heart that did not give up a
08:38soul that kept praying through tears a person who got out of bed when despair told them not to a
08:47believer who whispered one more prayer with a trembling voice
08:54that may not to a person that may not to a person that may not to a person that may
08:56not to a person that may not look impressive to the world but heaven sees it differently you see there
09:02is something sacred about faith that keeps turning toward God when nothing feels easy not polished faith and not performative
09:11faith I'm talking about real faith honest faith the kind that says God I do not understand this God this
09:22hurts more than I know how to explain
09:24God I wish you would speak louder than this God I wish you would speak louder than this but I
09:30am still here I am still here I am still reaching I am still bringing you my broken heart that
09:39is not weak faith that is mature faith that is faith with roots that is faith that has stopped being
09:48shallow and started becoming real and you listen carefully to me
09:54God is not offended by me God is not offended by your pain he is not disappointed in your questions
10:01he is not standing at a distance because your emotions are messy and he is not asking you to come
10:09to him cleaned up and composed he is near to the broken hearted not the polished hearted not the people
10:17who have all the right words and all the right clothing the broken hearted the exhausted
10:24the grieving the grieving the people who are barely holding it all together so if you're in a season where
10:32God feels silent do not let silence tell you a lie do not let pain convince you that you have
10:40been forgotten do not let your most tired feeling become your theology
10:48God is still God is still God when he is quiet God is still present when your heart feels numb
10:56God is still faithful when the answers are late and God is still near when you do not know what
11:06to do what to do next and this silence will not have the final word
11:14there will come a moment there will come a moment when you look back and realize that God was not
11:32ignoring you he was carrying you he was preserving you he was working underneath the surface
11:41he was keeping things alive he was keeping things alive in you that suffering tried to destroy so hold on
11:50hold on when your prayers feel small hold on when your heart feels tired hold on when your faith feels
11:59more like a whisper than a shout hold on when all you can do is tell God the truth he
12:08can handle the truth
12:09he can handle your tears he can handle your confusion and he can handle your silence too you are not
12:21abandoned you are not unseen you are not praying into emptiness
12:30even here even now even in this quiet place God is with you and one day you may discover that
12:40what felt like silence was not the absence of God at all it was the deep place where he was
12:46teaching your soul that his love is still real his hand is still steady and his presence does not disappear
12:56just because
12:57your feelings cannot always find it because your feelings cannot always find it so breathe pray again take the next
13:07step and my beautiful friends I want you to remember this the God who feels silent is still the God
13:18who stays my name is Douglas Vandergraaf and I believe in Jesus Christ
13:26God bless every single one of you
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