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The Claudia Winkleman Show S01E01 (2026)
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00:00This is weird because we haven't met but I'm just gonna say out loud. I'm obsessed by you
00:06Everybody this is Chris. Say hello. Hi
00:10Chris does this extraordinary thing on social where he talks to birds
00:16Who was the naughtiest bird this week? Spud, the little owl
00:20Spud the little owl
00:23Where does Spud sleep?
00:25In her Avery. Okay, that's a shame
00:30I'm so nervous. I didn't need to touch people
00:34Nice to see you. Nice to see you look divine. Hello. Oh, I'm gonna do this with everybody
01:04Thank you for joining us we are incredibly grateful
01:07We hope you like the colorway and approve of the carpet to be honest
01:11It is too late if you loathe we have an amazing audience and it's now time to welcome our brilliant
01:17guest
01:18He is a triple threat comedian presenter author. He's got a new book called common decency. It's Tom Allen
01:32He's the star of ugly Betty and desperate housewives has been nominated for 11
01:38Grammys and she's currently in the West End production of the Devil Wears Prada. It's Vanessa Williams
01:52She is the writer and star of absolutely fabulous and national treasure and she's here to talk about her new
01:59film the magic faraway tree
02:00It's Jennifer Saunders
02:13He started everything from Jurassic Park to the Grand Budapest Hotel
02:17He's also a musician and has a new album out. It's the wonderful Wizard of Oz himself Jeff Goldblum
02:39Thank you so much. Have a seat this is I can't believe it. Thank you for coming on the first
02:46and possibly last
02:47No, it won't be
02:49We're going to enjoy ourselves. We'll end with the conga
02:52Can you imagine you said you said it's the last show I'll be cut to in a blink of an
02:57eye
02:5830 years from now the longest running show ever
03:08I'm going to start with this. How do you feel about the set? I I think it's stunning
03:14I'm loving I'm like I like the height. Yeah, go ahead because and I like the back being here being
03:20close to the actual back
03:22Yes, they don't have back. Oh, I'm so sorry
03:29I'm basically on a buffet actually
03:32Or my parents used to have a buffet and then when I came out they suddenly changed it to the
03:36footstool
03:45I
03:47It's all all new. I would call this a hunter green possibly. Yes, correct. Very manly kind of
03:54British screen. Yes
03:57Hunter would you call
03:58I'm emerald green dark teal would you dark white teal
04:04Would you like to meet the woman who chose the color of the sofa?
04:08Here's the scene we go to a basement a sort of sofa workshop. Oh, yeah, we all go as a
04:15gang
04:15We meet a woman called Trudy. We couldn't decide between two colors Trudy is here Trudy
04:29You
04:30Trudy you you chose this color did you not it was really you chose the color
04:35amongst 70 other options
04:39And we designed and made the sofa that it goes on wow well done Trudy
04:45What would you call this color, please? I would call it a very dark
04:50Teal
04:57Well, you guys who work in furniture shops are great
05:01I
05:02Oh, I beg your pardon
05:11You don't get this with what you've got
05:14Sorry, I wish I wish I was dead
05:20I mean
05:22This is what I live for as a gay man being insulted by an upholsterer
05:29The last time I bought any furniture though
05:31I went in to buy a mattress and I walked into the shop and the woman said hi, I'm Faye
05:35and I went oh my god
05:36So am I
05:39Good mattress a deep one I hope
05:41You know what buying a mattress is complicated
05:43Have you ever bought one I bet you've not bought one you're a hollywood star you don't buy furniture
05:49You have to buy a mattress for lifetime
05:51That's what they say always invest in a good bed or good shoes. Yeah, because if you're not in one
05:55you're in the other
05:56I
05:58Love that
06:00And it we went in then she was like and she said you gotta lie lie on it lie on
06:04the bed lie on it
06:05Like they put down that plastic sheet as though it's going to be so comfortable. I'm going to immediately piss
06:09myself
06:11So I'm sliding all over the place and and then she gets on the bed next to me
06:16What I know and then she said a cuddle basically and then she said how do you sleep which sounds
06:21sort of accusatory?
06:23Something you shout at people in court is that how do you sleep?
06:26And I said well, I don't know. I'm usually asleep and she said well, are you supported? I said I've
06:30got some very good friends
06:35And then before I went she said and and do you have nightstands and I said well that is absolutely
06:40none of your business
06:46That's what I think
06:49Explain that joke to me because
06:52You sound like my audience
06:53I think it's a British
06:54It's going to be a long night guys
06:55The double meaning of that of course it's a nightstand next to the bed the piece of furniture trudy
06:59Yeah
06:59But is nightstand because I think it's a Britishism is the double entendre which is French for fish of the
07:05day I think
07:07Is uh a nightstand is that is that like a like a one night uh again counter a one night
07:13encounter yeah
07:14We don't say that in america
07:15No
07:16I've never said it's a nightstand
07:17I thought you just meant an erection
07:19I don't I
07:21Do you know what I thought of many things this way it was gonna go I didn't think we'd be
07:26here with three minutes
07:26Not so quickly not so quick not so fast
07:29But yeah, okay you two vanessa and jennifer
07:32Yes
07:32You are linked by hairdresser
07:35Yes
07:35By hairdresser
07:36By hairdresser
07:39There's a battle tonight because sven does both of us
07:42You booked him first
07:43Well babes
07:44Mm-hmm
07:46He's got a lot more work to do
07:49Started this morning
07:51He's very creative
07:53I haven't known sven that long oh six years
07:55I miss those days talking about a hairdresser
08:02Jeff I would love to talk to you about your album look at this
08:08Isn't that beautiful
08:12It's and isn't that beautiful
08:15Do you think so really well fontana you know are great and my other people my friends uh
08:22Help me do that the the graphics of it I do like it night blooms is the name of it
08:27It's a kind of a companion piece to our other our other fourth album
08:29Yes
08:30Which was still blooming you get the connection
08:33And um I love this album very much it's jazz you know we play jazz we're called jeff goldblum in
08:39the mildred schnitzer orchestra
08:40And just to name a few
08:42How many in the orchestra
08:45Two
08:45It was a joke I made a joke but last year the baftas I had the honor of playing during
08:52the in memoriam section
08:54I played on the piano with their orchestra um
08:57You saw you did remember as time goes by oh, I thought it was ding dong the witch is dead
09:04Don't even no that's macabre
09:08No, it was it was uh, you know
09:10It was uh as time goes by that beautiful song and we liked it so much that on this next
09:15album
09:15I sing a little bit of it and I play some more and there's some and there's an orchestra on
09:19this one
09:20Which brings me by the way you may you brought you triggered something else in me just now. This is
09:24lovely
09:25Um ding dong which is dead cynthia arrivo the great cynthia arrivo amazing
09:30And I on this next album with strings and a big band do a
09:34Newfangled version of um if I only had a brain
09:44So and many other surprises but but thank you for bringing it up
09:48I'm very crazy about this album. We have a clip of you playing not a song from this album, but
09:53I believe the last one
09:54But it's fantastic. Okay
10:19It's
10:20Isn't it lovely
10:22It's so lovely
10:30You were you paid when you were young I love this story
10:33I don't know if it's true and used to phone restaurants just saying I hear you need a pianist
10:37Can you imagine when you were really like 15?
10:40I was sort of I had some moxie or something like that and I was full of beans and even
10:44though around 10 years old after my dad said if you find something
10:47You love to do that may be a vocational guidepost and I'd set my
10:52Heart to an acting career but around the same time I was taking and had fallen in love with jazz
10:57and the piano
10:57And I thought I was being clever and looked at the phone book and called cocktail lounges around pittsburgh
11:03I was 15 I think at that point and said hey, I hear you need a pianist
11:07They'd said no, we don't know what you're talking about. Who's this? No, no, we don't know
11:17And I started to play it's almost the seed of what this has become. Yeah, like that, you know
11:27I have become slightly obsessed with your wife because she sometimes performs with you. We have a clip
11:35She's spectacular. Here we go. She's
11:37This is emily look look that's emily
11:42Isn't she amazing?
11:44She's and she was in the olympics
11:47She emily goldblum for heaven's sakes whom I met at the gym 14 years ago
11:52She was doing something like that. I won't want to go and said what are you doing? Look at that.
11:56That's it the world famous
11:57I don't think anyone's listening to you
11:59Good point. It's at the troubadour. You know the troubadour? Yes
12:04We perform we did three sold-ups. She's amazing!
12:08We did three sold-out shows there and emily who was in the olympics doing rhythmic gymnastics
12:14She was that year that she went to sydney and did that. She was the pan-american champion. She was
12:19the best of that in
12:20North south america. She's fantastic. She's still a world-class athlete as you can see she's doing that
12:25She's amazing. We did that a month ago at the troubadour
12:29Anyway, that's emily goldblum. It's just like looking at me at home
12:34I said how do you compete with that? You know when you go home and one of you says i'll
12:39put some toast in and does four cartwheels and puts it in with her
12:42her toes
12:43She does every every move is a is quite a picture
12:46I bet
12:47She's astounding but yes, but you can also do something rather wonderful. Well, I do this
12:53It's not an olympic activity yet. I can wiggle my ears, but one at a time
12:58Watch watch this ready. Yeah
13:13Jeff you've started obviously in oscar-nominated wicked the biggest musical film in
13:19recent memory
13:23This is my favorite thing. I don't know whether this is true, but please say it is that occasionally
13:29You would look down the lens and speak directly to the editor and say I like that take or is
13:35that true?
13:36Yes, I would do takes
13:37I was trying to do a good job and sometimes as was my want to do I think is the
13:42phrase I would after a take
13:43I would go uh and he would go and cut okay
13:48Jeff says uh myron karstein. That's uh, that's I say that's that's a good one. Just so you know our
13:54editor is called steve
13:55He's happy with any notes you have
13:58That's your camera over there
14:00If you said something that you're particularly proud of you just say steve add yes, I think i've been lively
14:05tonight steve
14:06And I say any any genuine moment that especially I like the spontaneous ones
14:13Yes, where there's a real connection which I've felt strongly with us
14:16So I say so far anything is uh good for the show
14:20Fine
14:20Thank you
14:22Steve will take that
14:23Good steve
14:24I trust you completely steve
14:26We all trust steve
14:27Um you are going on tour
14:30Yes ma'am
14:30You're going to start in wolverhampton
14:32Oh, I love the hamptons
14:36Starting in the hamptons
14:37You know i haven't even wikipedia
14:39You know this was all arranged you know
14:40Uh, for us
14:42I don't
14:43I don't know how many how many gigs you how many how many towns are you doing?
14:47We're doing a bunch
14:47They're doing a few you know, we've been to glastonbury and several you know in the last several years and
14:51ronnie scott's we played all over the place
14:53Would you like to know more about wolverhampton?
14:56Maybe the eateries you should go to if there's a statue a small aquarium. I believe cory is here. Hello.
15:03Hi cory. Hello. You you've been to wolverhampton. I am from wolverhampton
15:07Okay, so jeff's there for a couple of days. Let's give him a full schedule. I'd like it laminated. Where
15:13should we go?
15:14Jeff what you should do is you should get off the train in wolverhampton immediately get back on and leave
15:25For a couple of hours, okay, is there somewhere delicious? No, it's great. Wolverhampton is absolutely great
15:35We have uh, we have a nando's
15:40But being on tour there's always something to do well, yes, no, I love going around britain on tour always
15:47a little museum
15:48There's a pencil museum
15:53What do you mean i love pencils there's a lot of shop mannequins
16:00I used to i used to once i go to my criminal period when i was
16:05Eight or nine fine i stole yeah other kids pens we had those desks that went like that yes
16:11You know when everybody was going out in a line i'd be the last one and i'd wait behind
16:15And i'd open up desks and i'd steal their pencils
16:18I hoarded and collected pencils until one day somebody went jeffrey has all our pencils and
16:24Then it was very embarrassing and i've i'm cured i'm a very honest
16:28Honest uh no stealing because the way your face lit up at the sound of a pencil music i i
16:34hope there is a pencil museum now
16:35Do you like a classic hb do you like ones that you can no i don't like a mechanical pencil
16:43I'm very particular with my ballpoint pen can i throw this into the mix
16:49Because this is going to blow your mind there is a woman here in this room who designs pencils no
16:57Correct i'm getting goosebumps i'm telling you you're getting goosebumps
17:04Amy are you here amy tell me what you do with pencils and and stationary all round
17:12So i develop new types of pencils
17:17Do you because we don't want to upset him because he's our very special guest do you do the
17:24pencils we have one yes well i'm open-minded but i don't like
17:30What's the best thing if that's not too much pressure that you have ever designed so our
17:36Best pencil is the drawing pencil which has the creamiest oh it's creamy it's the creamiest
17:43Pencil and has the widest core does that mean the lead that goes through it
17:49Yes is there a pencil museum because i'm did i make it up there is it's in the lake district
17:54lake district are you going to the lake district
17:56Here we are now
17:59I'm going
18:00Amazing you have to
18:02You're definitely going thank you amy how brilliant you're here let's have a round of applause for amy
18:07Oh i know can i say you know what you remind me of the other the other you the touring
18:12around
18:12England in plays you all know that play i'm sure the dresser oh yes lovely play
18:19Great courtney did it yeah and then and then anthony hopkins and ian mckellen re-did it in a room
18:25remade
18:25Ian mckellen made me eggs what
18:29Scramble you do the eggs yes i was going to scramble
18:32Little salmon on the side yes and toast
18:35Lovely
18:37Sit down or sit sit down sit down
18:41And a proper uh proper uh dining table yeah just the two of you just no no no it was
18:48a group of people
18:48Gosh did you do all the eggs at once or did in person
18:52Personally that's very bespoke eggs i tell you that's how you get the night
18:57plate them and everything's scrambled i had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon this morning
19:04Guys about two hours ago we started talking about night blooms and i would just like to lift this up
19:10and say
19:10when when is it out june 5th there we go wow night blooms
19:16Brilliant
19:18Jeff no you are amazing um jennifer we have to talk about your film the magic for our wait
19:24Were you saying my film i'm in the film no it's your film okay uh let's have a clip
19:30It's just like you said it's enchanted and wonderful dad and i just felt like a place
19:35like this would bring us all back together again grandma i would get them back to the city if it
19:40is the last thing i do sorry guys better start packing
19:46you wish to cross the lands to locate a spell to save your house from your evil grandma
19:54we know all of this you know all that because we just told you it all right no need to
19:59get shirty
20:04jennifer oh it's just a lovely film how much fun was it to me just so much fun gone a
20:12great wig
20:12i was going to see your hair a really good wig we just have a look oh my god look
20:18at this wig look at
20:20there she is that's the hair i want another fact that we're flacking i want that hair
20:25yeah i mean nothing you see nothing it's so thick and it just stays in that shape i love it
20:32because
20:32now you see this is sven most of this is there's a most of a sort of a nun's hair
20:37has been woven into
20:38in sort of extensions that are you know nuns sell their hair and they get made into extensions they do
20:47really yeah they said what for money none sell the hair don't yeah thank you thank you i'm just
20:53agreeing because it's jennifer whatever she says um i but i love the accent i love everything about
20:59frida how did she how was she created because i thought as a small part i wouldn't have to do
21:04very
21:04much and but they said will you come in for rehearsal and i went yeah of course and it was
21:08with andrew
21:08garfield and claire foy and the children and i thought oh this is great this big time you know
21:15because you've sort of been grappled into this big movie and um i thought i better i better try hard
21:22but i had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth when i first opened my mouth
21:26and i thought
21:27you know i might go a little bit danish because i can make
21:31because i can make the danish noises you know the ticket yes it's almost fluent yes
21:42yeah yeah so i put a little inflection of danish into when i read the part and when we finished
21:49they went we love the german and i went no i said i was sort of more j no german's
21:56good german's good
21:56i thought damn yeah i had to do the whole i had to learn a german accent then and do
22:00the whole thing in
22:01german but it gave me the character yes it's lovely so lovely you guys are so good at accents the
22:07preparedness that you've given you've been given in in schools is amazing and you have to show up
22:13for you say what i'm not training you you're not right it's extraordinary i mean they can throw on an
22:20american accent immediately and like refine it so it's midwestern there's a new york what period
22:26time period is but also do all these other ones it's really i'm very impressed i admire that terrific
22:31i admire you you're a great artist you are can you do a london accent not really
22:45i want to talk more about this one because the location is so beautiful tell me you were
22:50somewhere we were in a very lovely part of the countryside um and near a wood near a wood because
22:58it is called the magic faraway tree it is about a tree that's magic and very far away um you
23:04don't
23:04know where it was i don't know where it was i think it was in a studio but there we
23:08are never mind um
23:13there is somebody here because i believe you also have a place in the country yes there is there is
23:18somebody who lives i think in your neck of the woods and would is that scary slightly
23:24they go on they do something rather magical in my hood it's i believe it is in your hood okay
23:30anna
23:30hello what have you done this week so my neighbors and i have been helping toads cross the road to
23:36prevent them getting squashed by the cars as they're migrating to their pond to breed and we've had i think
23:42we've helped about a thousand toads in the last few weeks are you are you is it like directing like
23:57like signs no no signposts no signposts so i have my head torch and my gloves and a bucket and
24:03we pick
24:04them up off the road we put them in the bucket and we help them to get to the gate
24:08near the pond so
24:10they're not going to be on the road have you thought about building i don't know a tunnel
24:15do they say i know this is a word question but i've committed to it do they say thank you
24:21no but they have the most beautiful little chirping sound you can hear them when it's a really quiet
24:27evening you can hear them kind of chirping chirping chirping in the pond and they're really amazing they're
24:32very sweet very very good hey hey you know the end of that pt anderson movie who did this year's
24:42one
24:42battle after another oh yeah i know yeah of course magnolia magnolia where all the toads or frogs you
24:50know come fall from the sky spoiler alert jeff spoiler alert that happens right at the end steve steve if
24:55you feel cut that into this segment i love it if you could save one animal oh what would it
25:07have been i would save a horse would you yes well i'd need the hair for my extensions i'd have
25:12to be
25:12chopping off yes i think for the hair because for the hooves yeah for the mental health
25:23what would you say you know what none of them
25:27you know people say oh it's so relaxing to go and spend time in nature but you look closely
25:32all they're doing is eating each other it's disgusting you watch those david attenborough films horrifying
25:40so people love it don't they put it on while they're having their tea a lion ripping a gazelle
25:45to shreds you know they fall asleep while they're watching a dolphin drown a whale
25:53horrible why would you save any of them i think the sooner we get rid of them the better
26:01i just think you know yeah yeah it's a different view that's and i think that's what this show is
26:08about correct it's very it's like question time but for drunk celebrities
26:16okay jennifer when can we see the magic faraway tree i think it's out on march the 27th correct
26:23yes we can't wait we'll all go
26:24a blue counter
26:31vanessa i have to talk to you about the devil wears prada i went on friday every seat is full
26:37and they
26:37are screaming and when you come up the most beautiful thing people are like i was sitting
26:43next to somebody who was like in tears screaming standing up it's a thing it's like a rock concert yeah
26:49yeah describe the show just for anyone who doesn't know well uh there's a young girl named andy sacks
26:54who is a journalist based on a true story and um she lives in new york she applies for a
27:01job at runway
27:02magazine which is a very famous fashion magazine aka vogue and she has no idea who miranda priestly is
27:10nor her reputation and she gets the job as the assistant and now they're doing a sequel to the
27:16movie i know who knows what's going to happen wow there's much excitement let's have a clip of the
27:24devil wears prada story oh my god what if i don't want this life everybody wants to be us
27:42the devil wears prada that's all that's all wow wow wow what fun role to play you must love it
27:56it's it's fun i can show up and be in a bad mood and not care because i can just
28:01be miserable the
28:01whole time yeah and it doesn't matter just makes the world better but you know i i have to say
28:06it's
28:07i i love this country and i got a chance to meet the king like you know i've done things
28:13not just as
28:14a tourist and not just as a working actor but these extraordinary experiences you know i did the royal
28:20variety show i mean it's it's been it's been heaven how much fun was it working with elton oh my
28:26god
28:27i mean not only is he a legend and you know growing up listening to his music and going to
28:32his house in
28:33windsor again another opportunity that i you know a normal tourist would never get you know
28:43you are living the life he's so honest that's what i love about him he's so frank
28:49and the first time i met him we were uh doing the workshop in january 2024 and he had just
28:55had his first
28:56knee surgery and i walked into the rehearsal room and his sweats were down by his ankles and he was
29:02showing everybody his scar but all i saw was his bum was like yeah okay good yeah we're going to
29:07be
29:08friends um what about the dressing rooms the difference between broadway if you like and the west end
29:13on broadway you can uh choose your well you can choose your paint color and and rug color yes that's
29:19stop yeah yeah yeah dark teal yeah yes yeah is that coffee mocha mocha i don't like colors being called
29:31after drinks that's it's true true dude hard work isn't she should we get true dude i'm quite frightened
29:40it's not a good nice cone well cognac's beautiful to drink obviously but um yeah we just had an old
29:47fashion before we came on um this is what i love vanessa i'm just sharing this with the group you
29:56have something rather special on your rider and it is a dog now i agree when you look at vanessa
30:03beautiful
30:05like sort of absolutely gorgeous that brain structure you think small a little like a powder
30:10puff of a dog on a top of cushion yeah ladies and gentlemen meet roscoe yeah
30:17oh wow wow wow wow there he is roscoe is that a great dane yeah he's so beautiful and he
30:26comes
30:26to comes every show yeah he's got his giant bed next to my makeup table he's amazing yeah he's
30:35enormous he's a great dane he's a great dane i had a great dane can't remember his name but uh
30:43it's a joke it's a proper joke it's a proper joke roscoe like roscoe chicken and waffles i love roscoe
30:49chicken and waffles roscoe lee brown you didn't know rosco lee brown did you i know who he was but
30:54it
30:54wasn't what's going on i don't know i want my ham i want my ham trains two trains running
31:03i saw roscoe brown anyway it does it does feel sometimes like i'm in a nursing home
31:07i don't know what's going on there was this talk of this roscoe fella that nobody knew except
31:22you guys knew him very well chicken and waffles and the dog and the bit of the cognac
31:30i'm older than i realized so to be clear roscoe you have woody you love your dog we have woody
31:39we so we have three dogs yeah you have a dog of course i have a dog i breastfeed him
31:43no i do tom you i believe you're on the fence regarding a dog i would love a dog but
31:52i worry
31:53about having a dog because i'm away a lot and um they're obviously a big responsibility but i would
31:57like a dog shall we tip the scales yeah i'd like that to meet a dog oh my god please
32:04welcome percy
32:16this is heather who owns percy look how can you not
32:20i feel like this isn't fair you've got treats for him he's never
32:34would you like a little treat lively
32:36like a little treat come on then come on come on this is top no never interested in you this
32:41is
32:41the story of my life i mean he's just yeah god's time to dog
32:44oh come on seven look he's seven look he's taking two look
32:49oh yeah you want to go and live with me you want to come and live with me
32:55you can have a dog like that i don't know whether you can take this dog he's your dog
33:00he's your dog okay he needs to leave thank you so much thank you percy thank you
33:06you got attached to it already what do you think i mean i don't think he actually like me that
33:13much
33:13don't take it on lightly unless you can commit to a lifelong responsibility you're right and i
33:19spend a lot of money on furniture so will they i don't want them weeing up against it thank you
33:24so much
33:25so vanessa devil wears parada is on until when and where please we are at the dominion theater
33:32i am going to be there till october 17th and the show will run definitely until next year
33:38okay thank you
33:45i don't i commit right now to attend every show until you're out of it i'm going to be in
33:50every show
33:51when you're not in wolverhampton having a chicken rack tom you are going to musical theater you're
33:58about to star in titan indeed and i'm i'm very there we go yeah that sets sail it is tell
34:07us all about
34:08well it is the most extraordinary show i saw it when it first opened over here it started in america
34:14it's like the most ridiculous retelling of the film titanic um and it's as though celine dion was
34:21actually on board the ship of dreams and she got drunk and this is how she remembers the story of
34:26titanic and it's told through her songs so celine dion is the narrator in the in the show so that's
34:33kind of bonkers enough as it is and then added on to that is you've got people like me who
34:38play um
34:38you know rose the kate winslet character uh her mother is ruth and that's made by me so um and
34:45and not really in period dress at all just i have an alice band on with some birds attached to
34:49it
34:49don't ask why just enjoy it and it's just such bonkers fun we're all coming well i think you would
34:55all love it i think there's something about it that's just kind of out of this world it's just joy
34:59just joy for a couple of hours you can't wait where's it on it's on at the criterion theater and
35:05um i'm in
35:06it until the 12th of april but it's booking through until until june we can't wait to sit thank you
35:11thank you one person he is coming
35:17tom is it true that your theater is haunted well they say there's a man in the circle who sometimes
35:24walks across and i thought i saw him but it turned out it was just the lighting man there um
35:29i think
35:30there are there are stories about him there but the more you look for him i think the less he's
35:33going
35:33to appear right it's like it's like a husband isn't it um yeah there's supposed to be one in the
35:40dominion her name is eleanor she was uh like 10 years old and there used to be some giant beer
35:46that
35:46or some kind of brewery in the in the bottom and there was an explosion and beer apparently flooded that
35:53whole tottenham court area no and this was a young girl that died in this flood of beer and she
36:00is a
36:00a 10 year old daughter girl absolute drunk
36:09the drury lane theater there used to be just the bottom half of a man sitting in a seat so
36:15no yes
36:17would you like to chat to somebody who converses with ghosts yes yes maxine hello hello hello what is your
36:26advice to tom he's going to be performing singing he looks up to the circle should he bow what happens
36:34when you see when you see them i think if you want to see this ghost you can ask i
36:40mean they they will
36:41reveal themselves to you spirit when you say reveal themselves as in show um as in show their spirit body
36:51oh my
36:52goodness should i be on my own when i ask or well i don't think that matters really doesn't it
36:58doesn't
36:59matter i just think the cleaner is sometimes there so how brave are you feeling are you happy to see
37:05them if they appear in front of you well i suppose how do you know if they're if they're a
37:09malevolent
37:09spirit or well like you know you're a good chap aren't you i mean you know generally about your performance
37:18you're the kind of person that's not got a good energy yourself you know you're you're kind of an evil
37:24person you're acting in no no no i know i know but if you were you can then attract beings
37:32that aren't so
37:32nice well it seems like a lot of pressure will you let us know please well i will but not
37:40if it's a bad
37:40spirit it will be like terribly badly on me a parent a parent's evening like i did my best
37:49when was the last time you spoke to a spirit um yesterday um i did a reading for somebody and
37:56i
37:56see them and they talk to me wow is there anyone here i'm not working right now and i think
38:02that's
38:02the misconception oh i like the way you just clock on and clocked up
38:19hey you know in this life you turned it to an angle you know who you look like go on
38:24go very young
38:25handsome john travolta yes correct correct wow until i was just sitting here a moment ago when you
38:33were talking to the spirit lady yes oh my goodness and i was possessed by the spirit of john travolta
38:40since he shaved his head uh tom you have also written a very brilliant book oh well it's a novel
38:48your first novel first novel yeah uh common decency tell us all about it please well i i've written two
38:54non-fiction books about myself and this is the first time i've created a world and some characters
38:59in to inhabit it um and i wanted to write about suburbia because um i think it's sort of boring
39:04place that everybody ignores but actually i've realized that's where all drama happens but it's
39:09about the sort of secrets and lies that exist in our kind of otherwise quite mundane life so i wanted
39:15to i just i like the idea of kind of well i live in suburbia now i live in bromley
39:19which is kind of
39:19architire police suburban and i like and i'm on a whatsapp group and i've come to love all those
39:24trappings of you know people on do you have a whatsapp you know with your neighbors oh where
39:27they all like you know it's supposed to be to help your neighbors but it's just you know a load
39:31of
39:32you know idiots shouting nonsense into the wind and how often do you do you ever post no i just
39:37like to
39:38watch it the only time i like it is when people say they're putting out furniture on their driveway
39:41something which i like to call street tapas you know but i like the sort of community aspect of
39:54it i always enjoyed that kind of thing of it all i'm loving your face jenny oh you love to
40:00run over
40:01those toads you've put your foot down oh you do whatsapp groups i i i can't whatsapp groups are
40:12are the bane of my life really bear them can you like do you like a whatsapp group i like
40:17one of the
40:17family i like this one just my family is enough but then when they start having private conversations
40:22within the whatsapp group disgusting you then get a ping and it's just a fucking emoji
40:28yeah just can't bear them yeah unless it's family family family is fine and if it's if you've got
40:35one thing like it's a holiday or something and then it's got its purpose but don't mince about within
40:41it fine keep it strict fine i like it um there's a character in your book that i love oh
40:51called miranda oh
40:53yes well i talk about well i've tried to write about different generations as well because again i like
40:57the way that people mix in in the best part in the best parts of uh suburbia and miranda is
41:02somebody
41:03who's whose true past isn't really known however she is a somebody who even though she's in her 80s
41:09wants to experience all of life she's had a bucket list and now she has a different sort of list
41:13you
41:13can say her bucket list oh and that includes things like taking acid because i just sort of think
41:19if i make it to an old age rather than sort of going out with a whimper wouldn't it be
41:25great
41:25to experience acid or to try all those things you never thought you could try before why not dawn and
41:32i my friend dawn french and i once thought we'd be really daring and we got an ecstasy tablet oh
41:38that's amazing and we thought we could take well i think it was something with a rabbit on it it
41:43was
41:43about that big and we thought one day i said well be alone it became such a matter of planning
41:50as to
41:51when we could take half an ecstasy tablet and so we kept it and kept it on dawn's mantelpiece like
42:00that
42:00and then one day just about six months later and we've gone okay right we're ready we had water we
42:06we didn't know what to expect at all the pill had gone no your dog was looking lively that day
42:17and it was quite a relief yeah thank god we don't do that anymore yeah no drugs for us the
42:23dog was out
42:23in the garden jumping up and down having sex with the truck um this brilliant book is out when please
42:31it's out on the 21st of may and you can pre-order it right now am i allowed to give
42:35this to
42:36i won't keep it i'm not keeping it i like the puppy dog really here tell me when to stop
42:41uh there
42:43left or right left uh tell me when to stop now uh we all need to discuss the planning application
42:52of
42:52course interrupted donald i assume that's what this is all about we are going to need to take
42:57action if the rumors are true about changing the area i love it there are definitely moments of
43:05exposition you have to realize you have to cover it right that is it i just want to check do
43:12you feel
43:13like you've covered everything is there anything you want to sell a bit harder i don't want to sell
43:18anything more but i have not covered even the tip of the iceberg no jeff i've got to go night
43:26night
43:26i never thought i'd say that not tonight at another on another occasion no please because my curiosity has
43:31been inflamed by this audience by you and by this group my god tom anything else um i went to
43:39buy rotisserie
43:40chicken yesterday for lunch and they sold out before lunch time who is having a rotisserie chicken for
43:47breakfast some people are perverts well thank you all we are so grateful uh we are off to eat salami
43:57happy with that yeah good i would like to thank my utterly brilliant guest tom allen
44:07jennifer saunders and jeff goldblum we are back next week and i'll be joined by joanne mcnally
44:17gus khan and niall horan thank you so much for watching good night
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