- 5 hours ago
Deadloch S02E03 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:01So, the last time you saw Don was Sunday night.
00:03What time did you all leave the pub?
00:06I know you know what fucking went on on Sunday night.
00:09I didn't see anything pertaining to Don Darryl, Edwina.
00:12If you don't tell us why you were out of the don, then we're just gonna have to guess.
00:15I was out there because I was looking for the money.
00:17Why did you give Don Darryl $300,000?
00:20It's Dubai King.
00:21The biggest croc in the territory.
00:22It's that hover, cunt.
00:24Run!
00:24Eddie!
00:25Eddie, leave it!
00:26No!
00:27No stuff!
00:28Hey!
00:29Oi!
00:30I shot down the hovercat!
00:32I know where that is.
00:34That's near Don's Donger.
00:35That's his bloody jetty.
00:37G'day, g'day.
00:38Jason, I also will need your whereabouts for last Sunday night.
00:42Really great to meet you, Dolphin.
00:43I'm really special, okay?
00:44Take care.
00:53There was someone else out of Don's Donger.
00:55Dragging Don's body up the jetty.
00:57Can you tell who it is?
00:58Oh!
00:58Chuck from Land of Crocs!
01:00He's our killer!
01:02Collins?
01:02Collins, you still there?
01:04What the fuck?
01:12Back!
01:13Back!
01:14Get up past that, you big scrote!
01:19I wandered in here by accident once too.
01:21Big fella nearly took me arm.
01:23The employee exit's on the right.
01:25Don't worry.
01:26You'll get the hang of it.
01:27I'm Roisin.
01:29Is this your first shift?
01:31Come on.
01:32The exit's this way.
01:33Just watch that meat bucket.
01:3738 degrees at 1am.
01:395-meter reptile.
01:40Statistic.
01:40Invisible bugs.
01:41There is just no need.
01:43I'm wrong.
01:44You're wrong.
01:45What the fuck?
01:46What the fuck?
01:52Bombing door.
01:55Bomb.
01:56Bomb.
01:57Bomb.
01:58Bomb.
01:58Oh.
02:01Oh.
02:02Sorry, sexy.
02:03I forgot to tell you I busted the door.
02:05Oh, a cute kid called Mav's going to fix it.
02:11How was your day, Mav?
02:15Good.
02:18Well, Skid, it's a steamy one up here in the Top End today,
02:21and in backpacker news, Task Force Hammer...
02:24Yep.
02:24...heets Swedish for Hammer.
02:25They have Ping Pong from Bing Bong,
02:28still on the search for the Swedish backpackers
02:30who were last sighted in a white four-wheel drive
02:32at Crossley's Crossing.
02:33And you'll be cross, folks, if you miss out on catching a big one
02:36and Jason Wade's big barrel of bashnanza
02:38that kicks off in Dirk's River today.
02:41Are you sure we should do it here, Lynn?
02:43Yeah, this is the bush turkeys turf.
02:45Everyone steers clear.
02:47We're set up inside.
02:50What is that bloody banging?
03:01Eddie, let's get a hop along.
03:03Come on, come on.
03:09Eddie!
03:10I reckon it's coming from over here.
03:15It is coming from the cool room.
03:16What is it?
03:17Is it a brushy stack?
03:18Oh, bloody hell!
03:19Open up!
03:20Come on!
03:21What are you doing in there?
03:22I'm freezing my flaps off in here!
03:23Oh, my God!
03:24Were you in the cool room all night?
03:26It's three degrees in there.
03:27What you two are doing is sick.
03:29Crocodiles are a protected species.
03:31They've been around since the dinosaurs, okay?
03:32They hang out with triceratops
03:33and you fucks are selling us bar snacks.
03:35I'm very disappointed.
03:36Dunkleba's my ancestors.
03:38I'd seen a cook, Roger, and he knows that, eh?
03:40Yeah, someone must have snuck him in there when Bingo was on.
03:42Oh, yeah, someone.
03:43Was it someone you?
03:44Or you?
03:45Was it you?
03:45Are you proper mad?
03:47We don't know who put them in there.
03:48The security camera's a shot out.
03:50That little piss-fuck.
03:52Right, you two, leave those crocs where they are,
03:54on top of the Alka-Pops, okay?
03:56There's dodgy shit going on in there.
04:03Oh, this tummy's rock hard.
04:05He's all locked up, Abbs.
04:06His poos are lined up like Matchbox cars.
04:08Hi, love.
04:09Hi, sexy.
04:10You seen Eddie?
04:11No.
04:12Abby, how'd you go with the toe?
04:13Not good, man.
04:14His anus is clamped shut, Abbs.
04:15It's weird.
04:16It's like he's holding it in on purpose.
04:18Come with me.
04:19I've got some apple cider vinegar to make that dead toe rocket right out of him.
04:22Okay.
04:22Now, how's your sex life?
04:24Um, Collins.
04:25Hey, where have you been?
04:26I got locked in the call room all night.
04:28What?
04:28My pubes have got hypothermia.
04:30They fuse together like instant noodles.
04:32Hear that?
04:32No, don't make the sound.
04:34Didn't you notice I was gone?
04:35I saw you sleeping in your nook, Eddie.
04:37That was a pile of shorts.
04:38Right, well, the smell was exactly the same.
04:41What's that?
04:41Is that the body part?
04:42Don's foot.
04:43Not much good to us.
04:44Me and that ranger with the rainbow paddle pop eyes, Mickey, found it near Dickie's
04:48knob.
04:48He's got no toe.
04:49Anyway, come on.
04:49Let's rattle our dicks.
04:50We've got a shock to catch.
04:52How'd you get the drone footage?
04:54I shot it out of the sky.
04:55What?
05:03Um, so ma'am, that Don Daryl drawing shows all of his body parts that have been found,
05:07right?
05:07Right.
05:07Eddie thinks the rest has been eaten by crocodiles, but maybe you can use these parts to reinvestigate
05:12Don's cause of death?
05:13Yes.
05:13If all you want to know is that he died from dying, I really need Don's torso.
05:17I know.
05:18I was just deluding myself for fun.
05:22Oh, sorry.
05:23That's a vibrator.
05:24Kath gave it to me.
05:25She said it's time I stopped being afraid of my own vagina.
05:28Okay, so between the remains that Toby ate and the drone footage that I haven't seen but
05:34I hear is wonderful, we can establish Don's Donga as our primary crime scene.
05:39Yes, it looks like this scene's been cleaned and judging by the water runoff, I think it
05:43was pressure hosed.
05:44But my team and I are heading back down there to see what we can find.
05:46Lauren and Oliver and Toby are just having a quick coffee first.
05:50Together.
05:52This murder wall is a real triumph, ma'am.
05:54I know, I know.
05:55Leo did it.
05:56Leo?
05:56Yeah.
05:56They're our new you.
05:58I'm their mentor, they're mementos.
06:00They wouldn't be lost without me.
06:01They're the wings beneath my wind.
06:03Hi.
06:03Oh my God, Leo!
06:05Sorry, sorry.
06:06I've been wearing bright colours to make my lurking less paranormal, but it's not working.
06:10Yeah, no shit, mate.
06:11Invest in a bell.
06:12Leo, hi.
06:13I'm Abby.
06:14I worked with the Mams back in Deadlock, where we started out as colleagues, but then became
06:17best friends for life.
06:18Nice to meet you.
06:19Okay, big eyes, come on, let's clear a spot for mementos.
06:22Okay, new team is assembled.
06:25Nobody fuck up.
06:26Right, backpack.
06:27How are you going with that drain footage of Chomp?
06:29Collins is absolutely creaming to see that.
06:31I sent it to your email.
06:32Email?
06:33What?
06:33She's never had an email.
06:35I will get it up on mine.
06:36Okay, so our prime suspect is Chomp.
06:38What do we know about Chomp?
06:39Age, prayers, residential address, relationship to the victim.
06:42What are you going on about, mate?
06:43What do you mean?
06:43What do you mean?
06:44I mean, Chomp is not a person.
06:46Chomp is the Land of Crocs mascot.
06:49Oh, you never said that.
06:49Yes, I did.
06:50I said the killer is inside Chomp.
06:53No, you didn't say that.
06:53Someone is wearing Chomp.
06:55Yeah, I do get it.
06:56I am across the concept of a costume.
06:58Are you?
06:59Okay.
07:00What the shit's got up on you this morning?
07:02Nothing.
07:02I didn't get enough sleep.
07:03Yes, I did.
07:03Not enough sex.
07:04Very well, thank you.
07:04Too much sex.
07:05Had a fight with Kath.
07:06Fucking grumpy bum.
07:07All right, so whoever is in Chomp's costume must be on Jason Wade's payroll.
07:11Collins, how did you go out of the Land of Crocs yesterday?
07:13Ah, yes.
07:13So Wade said that the $300,000 payment was to by King.
07:18Three of his four PAs confirmed that Jason was out of town filming his TV show the night
07:23that Don was murdered.
07:25Is that a snake skin?
07:25Is that the skin of a snake?
07:27Just because Jason's alibi is sewn up like a Christmas turkey's arsehole doesn't mean that
07:32he's not behind at all.
07:33What would Jason gain by killing Don?
07:35He has everything, bar the ability to make eye contact with a woman he doesn't want to
07:39sleep with.
07:39It's a classic territorial dispute, you know?
07:42Old bullcrog versus new bullcrog.
07:44Their business is a side by side.
07:46Jason probably wants to take over Don's part of the river.
07:48Colonising is a very hard habit to break.
07:50Okay, so you think Jason killed Don to get his land and he's delegated this task to high
07:55density craft foam.
07:57Yes, no way puffy pecks Jason is going to do the dirty work himself.
08:00That's why we've got to find out who he had in that chomp costume on Sunday night.
08:04Oh, yes, mementos.
08:06What are the rules around me talking in this environment?
08:08You're not allowed.
08:08The floor is yours.
08:09Go for it.
08:10Flora, the singer from the pub, also works at Land of Crocs.
08:12She says that staff rotate being chomped due to OH&S.
08:15Oh, yeah.
08:16That'll be because of that Mickey Mouse, you know, that story.
08:18So sad.
08:19Just sitting there, people coming up, taking their photos with him.
08:22Turns out he was dead.
08:23Stiffy mouse.
08:25Flora also says that staff who wear chomp can't be claustrophobic.
08:28They have to be free of pubic lice and at least 5'9".
08:30Why is that?
08:31Stage presence?
08:32No, it's in order to see out of the mouth hole.
08:34Okay, let's get a suspect list together then.
08:36So how many staff does Jason have?
08:37Oh, I can plan that out, ma'am.
08:39Nah, it's too boring, big eyes.
08:40Backpack can do that.
08:41I need you to test this.
08:42Spoiler alert, it's a foot.
08:44Kept a car for you.
08:45I will put that up on the board.
08:47Okay, so Leo, Land of Crocs staff.
08:49So, all up, including the CEO, that's Jason, and the celebrant, that is also Jason.
08:54Land of Crocs has just over 60 employees.
08:5660?
08:56That's super investigating.
08:58All 60 should be a breeze, saying we're four people working out of a storeroom with a possible
09:02snake infestation.
09:04All right, well, let's just go around to the Land of Dicks and give them a rat.
09:06No rat.
09:06His main staff won't be there.
09:07They'll be at the Bashnanza.
09:09It starts today and Jason's doing a meet and greet with his boys.
09:11Who's his boys?
09:12They work with Jason and appear on his TV shows.
09:15Okay, we'll head to the Bashnanza then, Leo, find out what time they're on and we'll question
09:18them about Sunday.
09:19Yeah, fuck yeah, drop a quick line in.
09:21No, no, yeah.
09:21Something's weird with this foot.
09:23What is it?
09:23Soft nail issue?
09:24The autopsy said that a knife was used to cut up the body post-mortem, but I think that's
09:29wrong.
09:29The severance line on the tibia is too clean to be a knife.
09:32Look.
09:33No, thank you.
09:33It's a precision cut.
09:35I think the foot was removed by a motorised blade.
09:40A forensics van pulled up and parked in my spot before I could park in my spot, and I'd like
09:44my spot back because it's my spot, not their spot.
09:47Okay?
09:53Okay, so we need to interview Jason's boys and locate this motor blade weapon.
09:56Yeah, but ma'am, I really need to get something off my chest.
09:58Okay, right now?
09:59Yes.
10:00I'm so sorry I quit the police force to pursue my dreams.
10:03It's fine.
10:03I mean, now you're stuck with me.
10:05It's really fine.
10:05And I'm in a hell of my own creation.
10:07Really fine, Abby.
10:09Please don't forget me, ma'am.
10:11Okay, but they are driving off without you.
10:12Come on.
10:13Wait!
10:14Wait, wait.
10:15Wait!
10:16Eddie, we've got to go.
10:17Yep.
10:18I need you to do a drink for me.
10:19Oh, no, I can't.
10:20Senior Sergeant Hepburn has asked me to supervise in the removal and return of a Barrow Creek
10:23local by the name of, um, uh, Triple Pet, and Mr. Pet needs me.
10:29Okay.
10:29Look, I need you to search this address from mouth hole to crack hole, okay?
10:36Is this for the Don Darrell case?
10:39Yeah, 100%.
10:39Do you have a warrant?
10:40Yeah, yeah, I'm emailing it from my email right now.
10:42Ping.
10:43There you go.
10:44Eddie, come on.
10:45I'm coming.
10:45Yep, so Jason's boys aren't appearing until 2pm.
10:48Right.
10:48Flora's going to help me cut the list down.
10:50She's been at Land of Crocs for three months and her loyalty's really waning.
10:52She's offered to cut me a key.
10:54Oh, that won't be necessary.
10:54You should take her up on that.
10:55That won't be necessary.
10:56Okay, so while we wait for the boys to appear at the Bashnanza, let's search for our weapon.
11:00Mate, the killer would have just pissed it in the river.
11:03Okay, so we get some divers out there.
11:05No.
11:05You can't get divers.
11:06Why not?
11:07Are they at a conference?
11:08No, because it's a river, Collins.
11:11It's teeming with crocodiles.
11:13Oh, right.
11:13Yes?
11:13Yeah, you can't swim in there.
11:14So what do you do?
11:16Well, we used to have a community swimming pool.
11:18That's what the Darden board is there.
11:19She's seen me jump off out of the yard.
11:20How do you search the river, Eddie?
11:22Use a big magnet.
11:24A big magnet.
11:26What is this, Looney Tunes?
11:28Okay, great.
11:29Great.
11:29Where do we find ourselves a big magnet tonight?
11:33You don't.
11:33Right here in Barra Creek.
11:35I know a local with one.
11:38Ryan Gaffrey, mate.
11:39Good there, rabbit.
11:40It's all right.
11:41That said it, he will do.
11:42Fuck off.
11:43Do I not have paper?
11:44Okay.
11:45We've got to get him home first, but then it'll be 50% to me cash, right?
11:5050% to Rog, because it's his boat, but it's my big magnet.
11:54Right, and your big magnet, that works, yes?
11:56Oh, yeah.
11:56That's how we found all my Christmas presents growing up.
11:58Fuck up, Edwina.
12:00You fuck up.
12:00What eight-year-old wants a fucking car park covered in fish shit?
12:04It was a catalytic converter.
12:06They're worth coins.
12:07Can you not antagonise your dad?
12:08We need him today.
12:09Okay, we've ordered our offer.
12:11It's now $300 an hour.
12:12Fuck no.
12:13Look, he's taking the piss.
12:14Okay, we won't do it then.
12:15No worries.
12:16No worries.
12:17I'll get my fucking magnet.
12:18Sure, sure, sure.
12:19We can all get a big magnet.
12:20Yes, $300 every single hour is a great deal.
12:24We appreciate your help, Frank, don't we, Edwina?
12:26I've got my fucking eye on you, too, you rat-dog crop dudes.
12:29All right, no one gets paid till Dickhat delivers.
12:31Hey, Rog, listen to this one.
12:33No press, right?
12:34Who's been an old man?
12:35Because you are my old man.
12:37I've had front row seats to your bullshit for four decades.
12:40I know what you're capable of.
12:42Go to the car.
12:43See you, Triple Cat.
12:45Come on, push him down.
12:47Okay, well, we will need to start out at Don's Donga.
12:50Oh, fuck my big, long dick.
12:53Who took the sack off his head?
12:55Let it take some car for my sake.
12:57Oh, Eddie, we've got to get to the Bashnanza.
13:02The butterfly farm was actually great.
13:04I had no idea how many butterfly eat corpses.
13:07You know, it's definitely worth it.
13:09Anyway, that's it.
13:10That's it for my plans for the day and for the rest of the trip, actually.
13:15I mean, I'm going to get into my book from the pub book swap.
13:19Breathless Falls.
13:20Have you read it?
13:21I think my mums have it on their bookshelf.
13:23I grew up with two mums in Sydney.
13:25They were 78ers.
13:25My first car was a pride flight.
13:27It was decorated like the island of Lesbos, so, yeah, you know.
13:30Fair to say, Barra Creek's the straightest context I've been in for a while.
13:34Aside from that one Ed Sheeran concert that I went to, which was awful.
13:37It was so sad.
13:39I love that there's another queer person in town, Leo.
13:43We just get each other, don't we?
13:44Sorry, Leo.
13:45Sorry.
13:47Was I gone for long because I went to get a water on and totally forgot about you and had
13:51a nap.
13:51Wait, what are we doing again?
13:53Oh, land of crocs employees.
13:54Okay.
13:54That's right.
13:55I'm going to leave you guys to it.
13:57Let me know if you need anything like head massages or legal advice.
14:02I'm a vet too.
14:03If you've got a Brahmin cow that needs antibiotics, I'll be over here.
14:06I'm going to be relaxing.
14:07I'm on holiday after all.
14:10Okay, so those two flew home last month.
14:13I don't know where that guy went.
14:14Oh, Ebba borrowed this too.
14:16That chick's 100% capable of the motor, but she's only 4'11".
14:20Liz, I'm going to get the phone.
14:21He's still here, unfortunately, and Rashean fucked that guy.
14:24Now he lives in a ragey tent on an avocado farm or something.
14:28Barra Creek Pub.
14:29This is Kath.
14:32Well, it's a mammoth opening to the big Barra Bashnanza, where one lucky fish-o could catch the golden barra
14:39worth $200,000.
14:41$200,000, that's a lucrative bloody fish, BP.
14:44But remember, fellas, with over 4,000 barramundi released into the river for the Bashnanza,
14:49every one of you has a shot at winning a daily prize if you catch a big one.
14:53And now on the Guts Hub stage, he's hot off the chopper.
14:56It's the star of Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under Adventures from Down Under.
15:01It's Jason Wade.
15:06Welcome to the big Barra Bashnanza.
15:12This is German.
15:14How would he like it if we told him he couldn't go fishing?
15:16Boss!
15:19Come on, we're going!
15:21Oh, OK, good.
15:22Leo's eliminated a bunch of the Landa Croc staff who could have been inside the chompsuit on Sunday night.
15:27Sanitation's out, so is the aquarist.
15:29A lot of the croquettes have been deported to the UK, so that mostly just leaves the boys and a
15:34few others.
15:35All right, Leo has sent the boys photos and bio.
15:39Oh, uh, no.
15:42No, I think they've accidentally just sent the same man 15 times.
15:45Let's give it up for the boys!
15:47Uh, no, Collins, they haven't.
15:49We've got Ben, we've got Sam, we've got Ned, Miko, and my boy Ben.
15:59Come on!
16:02Jesus Christ.
16:07And, fellas, don't forget to head over to the Shimano Fishing Reel Marquis for the meet and greet with the
16:13boys.
16:13This line can suck my titties.
16:16Agreed.
16:17Join the reserves?
16:18No, no, thank you.
16:19No.
16:25So, how do you flirt with girls?
16:28Do you all just weather chat or the other topics that work as well?
16:32What?
16:32Well, you know, like at the camp, you and Kath, you froth on about the weather and then immediately you're
16:37fiddling each other's bits.
16:38Oh, God.
16:39Do you do all?
16:40Do you do all?
16:40No, sure.
16:41Well, Lazzies get juiced up about weather and what about the weather in particular rain?
16:44We're not doing this wet.
16:45Mist, soft, wet.
16:47We're not talking about this.
16:47We're not talking about this, Eddie.
16:47Enough.
16:47Hey, a croc boy's on the move.
16:49You stay here.
16:50We'll conquer and divide.
16:51No, Eddie.
16:51Please don't leave me here with all of the...
16:53No.
17:01Eddie.
17:06Next, please.
17:07Next, please.
17:08Just keep it...
17:08No, I just...
17:09G'day, g'day.
17:11Name?
17:13Detective Dulce Collins.
17:14We met yesterday.
17:15Gripping a rod today?
17:17No, I am here in regards to...
17:20Sensational.
17:20Lizzie Fado, very special to meet you.
17:22Who's next?
17:25Yeah.
17:29Thanks for dropping me off, guys.
17:30Really appreciate it.
17:31Just leave me alone in a crime scene where a man's been chopped up and a violent murderer is on
17:35the loose.
17:36Cool.
17:36Yeah, I'll just sit here on a platter for them till you're ready to pick me up.
17:42What is that?
17:49Oi!
17:50Be careful.
17:52You're in the lunge position there.
18:03Detective Dulce Collins, I want to ask you a few questions in relation to...
18:07...an ongoing investigation.
18:08Absolutely.
18:09A hundred percent, Ducky.
18:10Uh, Dulcey, where were you six nights ago on Sunday the 9th of October?
18:13Oh, I was down in Goomadir River in West Arnhem Land, Ducky, filming Adventures Down Under.
18:17Adventures from Down Under.
18:18And can anyone verify that?
18:19Yeah, absolutely.
18:20A hundred percent.
18:20All the boys were there.
18:21Right.
18:22Uh, who?
18:22Hannah was there.
18:23Darcy was there.
18:24Josh was there.
18:25Tom, Ned, Mick was there.
18:27Yo!
18:28Hey Mick, I'm just answering questions for Dickie, you're all good.
18:30Dulcey.
18:31Dulcey's questions.
18:32Uh, who else was there?
18:33Ben, Rory, Seb, Jed.
18:35And you're Jed?
18:36Nah, nah mate, I'm Ned.
18:37Right, sorry, yes.
18:39Uh, sorry.
18:39So did Jason take all of you boys?
18:41You know, Mick, Sam, Ned, the Benz, etc. filming on Sunday?
18:45Yeah, yeah, Dick.
18:46Yeah, all the boys were out there Sunday night.
18:47There he is!
18:48Ah!
18:49I'll stick my finger up your ass!
18:50Detective!
18:51Um, I need you out the river real quick.
18:53It's going up there!
18:54So you and all your croc blocks were all shooting Jason's TV show on Sunday night?
18:58Hooked together?
18:59Cocked a bun like a barrel full of fucking back monkeys?
19:02Yeah, that's right, 100%.
19:03Hey, good to talk to you legend.
19:04Keep it real.
19:05What?
19:07Fuck me.
19:10Hey, Alira, got any coats?
19:12We haven't restocked them yet, they're out the back.
19:18I'll get you one.
19:22Fuck off, Mean Pete.
19:24Ah, Collins, what's happening?
19:26What did you want?
19:27A fan arm?
19:28I wasn't listening.
19:30Who wants to feed batfish as a competition prize?
19:33We want money.
19:34Yeah, we've got stuff to pay for.
19:36A pool, the broken boat, and also batfish again.
19:40Hey, you better stop that before Aunty hears.
19:42You know she loves her batfish.
19:44Hey, you lot.
19:44Hello, Pat.
19:46What are you doing here?
19:47I thought you'd be out there reeling in a big one.
19:49They wouldn't let us into the Golden Barrier
19:51even though Mav said he was 18 and us thought he was 25.
19:54Well, that's because you know all the good fishing spots
19:57and they're afraid you're going to win all the money.
19:59That's right.
20:01Hey, mate, I don't think we've met.
20:02This is our cousin Mav.
20:04He's living with us now.
20:05He's fruit-toast intolerant, so we can't get mangoes anymore.
20:08Ah, Mav, you're Mickey's uncle's boy, right?
20:11You've stayed with her before.
20:13I knew it.
20:14I'll never forget a pair of cheeks I want to squeeze.
20:18Come on.
20:19What's the sick?
20:20Let's go.
20:20What's wrong with him?
20:21He looks okay.
20:22Nah.
20:23He's got dog pox.
20:24Alright, you guys want to lift back to Barra?
20:27Can we, Mav?
20:27No.
20:28Sure, Pat.
20:29I don't want to walk.
20:30It's too hard.
20:31Stop lining up my phone, Collins.
20:32I'm on my way now.
20:35Oi!
20:36Alera!
20:37What the fuck are you doing?
20:38Where's my fucking coke?
20:39I'm on a break.
20:48Just stand back.
20:50Oi!
20:50Someone caught a big one!
20:51No, no one caught a big one, okay?
20:53Okay, please, get back.
20:54You're getting dangerously close to marbled frog hibernation burrows.
20:57Come on.
20:58Oi!
20:58Hey!
20:59You heard the lady.
21:00Move the fuck away from her special fucking frogs!
21:03Jeez!
21:03But come back tomorrow, thank you.
21:05And there's lots of info here about caring for country and other stuff that you don't give a shit about.
21:10What?
21:11Why are you always yelling?
21:12Huh?
21:12That's the most foot traffic we've had.
21:14Oh, you shout too.
21:15No, that's you doing that.
21:16I'm soft as fuck normally.
21:18Fog on.
21:19Righto, Collins, I'm back.
21:20I'm coke-less.
21:21What have you got for me?
21:22Oh.
21:23Oh, holy shit.
21:25Oh, fuck me.
21:26Yes, welcome to this.
21:29Mickey's colleague Isaac was out on his big dinghy boat and found it wedged in some mangroves.
21:35Yeah, did he say where?
21:37No, he dumped it here, said he was too traumatised to work, browsed for sunglasses on his phone
21:42for ten minutes, then he went to his other job at Knob Nightclub, so he's clearly torn up.
21:46Okay.
21:47So what have we got here, Collins?
21:50It's an anterior and posterior lower torso-pelvic region encompassing the genitalia and anus
21:59there.
22:00So it's a dick bum.
22:00A dick and a bum.
22:01Yeah, it's a dick bum.
22:02Yeah, that's what it is.
22:02It's a dick bum.
22:03That's what it is.
22:04It's a dick bum.
22:09I'm going to go get a coke.
22:11Yeah.
22:16What?
22:17Nothing.
22:17Fuck off.
22:18Yep.
22:18Alright, I'm going to call forensics, but it does fit Don's profile.
22:22The right testicle's missing.
22:23Okay, I'll just confirm with my dick stick.
22:25No, don't confirm with it.
22:26Don't confirm with a stick.
22:27Don't use a stick, Eddie.
22:29As I expected, no right tenticle, testicle, testicle.
22:31Yes, yet.
22:31I just told you that, so that's good.
22:33Don't!
22:33Don't!
22:34Yucky!
22:34Don't!
22:35Yuck, Eddie!
22:36Hi, ma'am.
22:37Abby.
22:38I'm glad you called so I can officially log with someone that I'm alive.
22:40For now.
22:41We made you out here at the Bashnanza.
22:43Don's pelvis is turned up.
22:45I know it's not the full torso, but it would still be good for you to have a look.
22:47Okay, but I'm going to be a while.
22:49I'm getting a lift with some fishermen who won't tell me their names.
22:51One's giving me nothing, and the other says he's Mr. Surname Redacted.
22:55Oh, also, I found oil residue in the water near Don's Jetty.
22:58It's where Trump's boat was moored.
22:59According to the fishermen, if there's oil in the water, it means the boat's leaking fuel.
23:03And if the boat's leaking fuel, that means the engine's fucked.
23:06Yeah, it's fucked.
23:07Right, okay.
23:08So, we're looking for a Land of Crocs employee who owns a boat with a faulty engine.
23:12Yes, ma'am.
23:13Maybe I can trace the journey of the tinny via the fuel trail?
23:17Oh, the fisherman and nodding, ma'am.
23:19It's Leo, my mentors.
23:20Bye, ma'am.
23:21Back, back. What you got for me?
23:22Yes, hello to you.
23:23There's three Land of Crocs staff who Flora and I can't account for on Sunday night.
23:27One of them used to work for Don Darrell.
23:29Who?
23:29His name is Stephen Houlihan.
23:31Goes by the name of Spud.
23:32He's a local.
23:34Do you know him?
23:36Hello?
23:48Wait, what do you just want to do this afternoon?
23:49I want to go for a swim. I'm hot.
23:51Where?
23:52They put road over the pool to make it a road.
23:55We could play Waffle House.
23:56Meow.
23:56Mum, Dad has got me.
23:57It's an iPad game where you own a waffle shop loved by cats.
24:00And there's a secret shopper who's a bunny rabbit and...
24:03Wait, let's go for real.
24:03Wait.
24:04It's illegal to go in the D.R.
24:06There's aliens in there.
24:07They suck your brains out your nose.
24:09Come on.
24:09It'll be way faster.
24:12What if there's men, men?
24:14Come on, Cherry.
24:15Hurry up, Cherry.
24:20Mav, we're going to cop an earful if mum knows we've come here.
24:27Aw, deadly.
24:28What?
24:29What?
24:30Cool.
24:38So, Mr. Houlihan, we are trying to...
24:40Oi, Chicken Dickens.
24:40Where were you on Sunday night?
24:42Don't say you were filming Jason's TV show because we know you weren't.
24:45Get in.
24:46You've been spying on me again.
24:47You're obsessed.
24:49Stalker.
24:49Coming back for more.
24:50Oh, wow.
24:51Oh, Mr. Houlihan.
24:52Cut it out.
24:52We got you one golf job in 1995, okay?
24:55Get over it.
24:56It wasn't even good.
24:56You would have spit on your dick afterwards.
24:58Okay.
24:58We know that you weren't filming on Sunday night because there is a list of people who are
25:01filming on Sunday and that list does not include your name.
25:05Your real name.
25:06Or your potato nickname.
25:08What do you do for Jason Wade?
25:10Mr. Houlihan.
25:11I know what he does.
25:12He bumps off Don Darrell's, chops them up into little pieces like an octopus on a teppanyaki grill
25:17so Jason Wade can take over Best Best's stretch of river and expand their universal cocks.
25:22No.
25:22You're talking out your ring.
25:24Come on.
25:24It's the only job he can get.
25:25Look at that face.
25:26No one's going to put it on the telly, are they?
25:27Looks like dropped carbonara.
25:29Oh, fuck you.
25:30Fuck you.
25:31You suck my dick.
25:32No, you suck my dick.
25:33Yes.
25:34Thank you for your precious time, Mr. Houlihan.
25:37Eddie, we're done here.
25:38What?
25:38No, we're not done.
25:39Bum.
25:40Collins, we're not...
25:41Bum, bum, bum.
25:42Oi!
25:44Collins, why are we done?
25:45It's nuts, bud.
25:50Well, like Leo said, our suspect in the chomp costume would have to be at least 5'9 to see
25:55out the mouth bit.
25:56How tall are you?
25:57Six foot.
25:58Good.
25:59Our suspect would have to come up to at least here and you and Spud were eye to eye and
26:04only came up to here.
26:05See the height.
26:07Spud's not our chomp.
26:09Fuck!
26:12Spud, madman.
26:14You.
26:16Me.
26:17Oi!
26:18You could put it out in the fucking back.
26:20I was told to drop it at the police station.
26:22What's that say?
26:23Fucking police station.
26:24Have a look, it looks like shit.
26:26Have a look through it, you might get a Christmas present.
26:28You better not have taken anything out of there.
26:30What's that supposed to mean?
26:31You know what I mean.
26:33Hi, ma'am.
26:34I'm still alive.
26:35Scuttle off, Wax.
26:37I don't write you.
26:37We paid you for the money.
26:38So that's it.
26:39He met Eddie's dad.
26:40What?
26:41That's her hair.
26:44Oh, that makes so much sense, ma'am.
26:48Uh, Pat, can you get Luke to go through this?
26:51Look, I'm not exactly sure where Luke is, but to be honest, I'm not upset about it.
26:56Don't stress that.
26:57I can help.
26:57What am I looking for in here?
26:59A weapon.
26:59A motor blade type weapon.
27:01No problems.
27:02Ow!
27:03Oh, I've got a slipped disc.
27:05I can help you, ma'am.
27:06I can...
27:07Hey, Ellie.
27:08Are you done at the Donger?
27:10Yes, Lauren.
27:10I was done at the Donger hours ago.
27:12Okay.
27:13Well, we've got the pelvis, and we're going back to the city.
27:15Do you need a lift?
27:16Of course I need a lift, Lauren.
27:17I don't have a fucking car.
27:21Okay.
27:22I'll look at the body parts when I get access to the lab, and then I'll see if Toby shut
27:26out the toe, and then I'll go into debt renting my own car so I can come back here tomorrow.
27:30Okay?
27:31Okay, great.
27:31Abby, but they are driving off without you again.
27:34Oh, fuck me, Dad.
27:35Wait!
27:38Wait!
27:39Wait!
27:40Wait!
27:40Hi.
27:41Aw.
27:41Fucking panel web in line.
27:43Good Lord, Leo.
27:44Asshole tunneling is right in my brain.
27:46Sorry, I...
27:46I did loud stomping.
27:47Turns out you were wrong before, about that land grab motor.
27:50Ow!
27:51That's slipped disc!
27:52Pinches in the bum!
27:53Want me to help her?
27:54I'm fine.
27:55Is it sorting?
27:56Sure.
27:57Thanks for Mickey.
27:58Oh, did you?
27:59How'd you get your number?
28:00Okay, fine.
28:01Did you...
28:02Did you give her your number?
28:04No, shut your hole.
28:05No, she just texted to say that Isaac found the dick bum in Stonker's territory.
28:10Mate, that's 30 k's upstream.
28:16Where the fuck is it?
28:17I know as much as you, Eddie.
28:19Remember how Eddie said that a possible motive for Jason Wade was wanting Don's land?
28:23Collins, did you take my very special map?
28:25No, no, I didn't take your special soggy foot map.
28:29So, Leo, Spud was a dead end, but you said that there were three staff left on the list.
28:33Yes, but this is better.
28:34Nah, we're gonna check the other bins.
28:35So, I started looking into land titles, which led me to Crownland, which is a wild concept
28:39that I will podcast about if this goes to show.
28:41Hey, can I just get the highlights reel on that one, Leo?
28:44Don and Jason's properties don't neighbour each other.
28:46There is another piece of land betwixt them.
28:48Mm-hmm, yep.
28:49It's called the DRR, Dirk's River Reserve.
28:52It used to be military land, but reverted to Crownland in 2008.
28:54Okay, so, oh my god.
28:56This is bigger.
28:57This one's bigger, Eddie.
28:59Pat, have you seen my map?
29:00It's got a really fun maze on it.
29:01Five years ago, a native title claim was submitted for the DRR.
29:05Soon after, Don lodged a challenge because he wanted that land.
29:08Right.
29:08Yeah, which means that Don is in a land dispute, just not with Jason Wade.
29:12Uh-huh.
29:12So, Eddie, you were kind of right.
29:14Stop talking!
29:15I'm putting a pin in you.
29:16Right, come and have a look at this.
29:17I've been thinking about where the body parts were found.
29:20Have a squeeze of this.
29:22Here is where the arm was found.
29:23That's Goliath's territory.
29:24Okay.
29:25The head was here in Titan's Patch.
29:27The foot was more downstream, where Monster is.
29:29But the dick bump.
29:31The dick bump.
29:31That was found all the way up here in Stonkers territory.
29:35Our killers chocked up old mate.
29:37Then they've taken their busted bones, going from crock hole to crock hole,
29:40feeding Don to the bulls.
29:43Whoever killed Don, they know this river.
29:45And they know these crocs.
29:52Leah, who is Don in the land dispute with?
29:55The Dungle Lava Corporation.
30:00Yes, Sir Rabbit.
30:00I wasn't really happy only doing the tourist thing, and then Lynn offered me this job,
30:04and I was like, yes.
30:05Because it's important to be part of the community, and to contribute to it, isn't it Rabbit?
30:09Hello.
30:10I'm Kath.
30:10What can I get you?
30:13Yeah.
30:14Yeah, I can.
30:15Yeah.
30:16Oh, here they are.
30:17Time for 36?
30:18No.
30:1835.
30:19We lost one to the fucking cops.
30:28Al, do you have any alternative coverings?
30:31A shirt, a poncho of some sort?
30:35I only have the chomp costume, and it's too hot.
30:37It'll give me swamp nuts.
30:38Right.
30:38Yeah.
30:39Right.
30:39Well, that's best avoided.
30:41Hey, how long will this take?
30:43I'm on a date with Brasheen, right now.
30:45We'll see.
30:46Al, when was the last time you saw Don Darrell?
30:48Mmm, I don't know.
30:50A couple weeks ago maybe?
30:50Sorry guys.
30:51Sorry.
30:52Sorry to interrupt.
30:52I've just got to get in here and heat my heat pack up from the back.
30:57Leo's helping with the weapon search now, so I'm just getting zings down my leg.
31:02Would you say...
31:06Would you say that you and Don Darrell are friendly?
31:10Nah.
31:10Don was always yelling at someone, or something.
31:13Doesn't surprise me someone killed him.
31:15He was a...
31:17Wait.
31:18Why are you asking me?
31:20Ah!
31:21Oh!
31:22Smells like microwave tuna.
31:25I'll tell you, that is not socialised right.
31:27What adult sucks yoghurt from a pouch?
31:31I mean, you know, very weird.
31:33Anyway, I'll get out of your hair.
31:35You're looking good, Al.
31:37All right.
31:38Al, we know your family was involved in a land dispute with Don Darrell for ages, yeah?
31:42Says here it's been in court for five years.
31:45Five years.
31:45That is a long time.
31:47We've been waiting longer than that to get our land back.
31:50Fair enough.
31:51Yeah.
31:51So, Al, where were you last Sunday night at 11.30pm?
31:55I was at home.
31:57Really?
31:57Because this photo here was taken from a drone that was filming out at Don's Donger at that time.
32:02This is Don and we think that the person in the chump costume is you.
32:06That could be anyone.
32:07Well, no.
32:08The person here has a boat that's leaking fuel and we know that your boat is busted because your niece
32:13Cherry said she put dog biscuits in the fuel tank.
32:15You're also one of only two Land of Crook staff that are tall enough for the chump costumes.
32:21That's right.
32:21You and a Roisin.
32:24Roisin.
32:25Roisin.
32:25Sheen.
32:26Sheen.
32:26Last name.
32:27So, was it you or Mr Sheen?
32:30Look, it's not what it looks like.
32:31Really?
32:32Because what it looks like is you dragging a very dead Don Daryl up the jetty towards the Donger.
32:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
32:37He wasn't dead.
32:38Okay, I was out in the river and then I saw him struggling to get out of his boat because
32:42he was shit-faced.
32:43Okay, full horrors.
32:44So I helped him inside.
32:45So you didn't kill him?
32:47Cut him up?
32:47Feed him with the bull clocks like some kind of demon river santa?
32:50No, he was alive when I left him.
32:51Why were you on the river then?
32:52I was out there for special king tide cultural business.
32:56Ah, okay.
32:57Yeah, in your chomp costume.
32:58Yeah, I was stuck in it and there was no one left that worked to help me.
33:01Well, yesterday at the Crocosphere, Jason Wade said no one knows this river and it's crocs like Al.
33:07Exactly.
33:08If I was a murderer, which I'm not, I'd never dump a body in a river where 4,000 fish
33:12have been released for the Besnanza.
33:13Crocs won't eat some old dead fella when there's fresh barra to eat.
33:16They're as smart as a chicken but they have standards.
33:19I'm right, aren't I?
33:21None of Don's body parts were even eaten, eh?
33:24And yeah, my boat's busted up and it's leaking.
33:26But any fuel trail will lead from Don's jetty back to where I tie up near the creepy tree with
33:29the face.
33:30Cause after I got that racist prick into the donger, I went home and I watched TV.
33:35I am sorry, I have to take this.
33:39What did you watch on the telly then?
33:40Coronix.
33:41About the Jamaican bobsled team.
33:43Can anyone verify that?
33:44The plot?
33:45Yes.
33:46Superintendent.
33:47Don't look away Deb.
33:48You don't want to miss it.
33:50Sorry Detective, I'm just down here at Mindal Beach watching the sunset with the in-laws.
33:54Have you been?
33:55No.
33:56No, I haven't.
33:56Oh, you gotta go.
33:57Look, I'm not religious but this is my church.
34:00It's spectacular.
34:01It's just...
34:02Anyway, Jason Wade's been in touch.
34:05He's rapable about his staff being questioned while they're on the job today.
34:08Uh...
34:09Yeah, I did not think that he recognised me.
34:12Well, his boys must have reported back.
34:14He's called all the higher ups too.
34:15So, do you have something on Jason?
34:18Because if you do, I'll absolutely be back here.
34:20But...
34:20No.
34:21No, we don't.
34:22We were following a line of inquiry that involved him but...
34:26Recent developments suggest that neither Jason nor his staff had anything to do with Don's homicide.
34:32Oh, okay.
34:33I'll report back to HQ and put out some fires because currently Wade's clamped onto you and
34:37he doesn't want to let go until you've got no career left.
34:39Oh.
34:40Oh, that's super duper news.
34:42Yeah, look, Detective, I know we've only just met and I'm not across what happened in Tassie
34:46but I do need to be kept in the loop with all this.
34:49Communication is kindness, as my daughter Alice says, right before she sledges my footwear.
34:54Yes, of course, Superintendent.
34:55Oh, look, Deadlock wasn't the best reflection of my professional standards. Mistakes were made.
35:01Yeah, well, I know you're diligent.
35:03I've seen your handwriting.
35:04I thought it was tight.
35:06But from all reports, Detective Redcliffe doesn't share your respect for protocol.
35:11Look, Bernie, we're nearly there, keep an eye on it.
35:13I know, Tom.
35:13Like, obviously there's a chain of command.
35:15Now, Redcliffe directing Sergeant Ferguson to conduct a premises search today, that wasn't great.
35:20I mean, the fact that he found something's irrelevant.
35:22Here we go.
35:23So, sorry, Eddie did what?
35:28Do you know how unprofessional and foolish you made me look in front of the superintendent?
35:33You should have told me, Eddie.
35:34Look, I'm telling you now.
35:35Okay?
35:36I got linked to do a property search.
35:37There you go.
35:38But what purpose?
35:39But Frank's been up to his old tricks again, hasn't he?
35:41I wouldn't know, Eddie.
35:42He's saying shitty he was up to six months ago with me and Bushy put him away.
35:46I'm sorry, what?
35:47You put your dad away?
35:48What, was he involved in a homicide?
35:50No, yes.
35:51Yes.
35:51It was a fucking homicide to me, okay?
35:53And when I saw my roommates in that cool room last night, I knew, I knew he was doing
35:56it again.
35:57Doing what, Eddie?
35:58Poaching wild crocs, Collins, okay?
36:00Selling their bits on the black market and make fucking erection powders and little morbid
36:04wind chimes and shit, but don't take my own word for a cum look.
36:06No!
36:06Frank poaching crocs might be illegal, but it is not relevant to Don Darrell.
36:10So I've been working our actual case, Eddie, but you, you've been having covert conversations.
36:13You've been unlawfully discharging weapons, requesting searchers behind my back.
36:18You know, I knew when I saw him out here the other day.
36:20I fucking knew.
36:21I should've twigged then.
36:22I should've fucking twigged.
36:22When those pub witches let me out and I saw his scooter, I should've booked him.
36:26Behold, Frank's craven fucking black market crocodile empire.
36:31Yeah.
36:32It's a shock, isn't it?
36:34Oh.
36:35What?
36:37Nah, there was fucking crocs in here.
36:39He's poaching again.
36:40They were here.
36:41Oh, look at all the little treasure.
36:43Let's go.
36:45Guys, I found a microphone.
36:47Wait, can I have this?
36:47Yes.
36:47What's this?
36:48Can I have this too?
36:49Yeah.
36:50Yeah, go ahead.
36:50Hey, Red!
36:51Come on, lost our eyes.
36:52Come on, your mum.
36:53Hey, this microphone still works.
36:55Come on.
36:55Give that a second.
36:56I've got to make this song for one of our friends.
36:58That is, you know how that has to be.
37:03No, I swear.
37:04There were four crocs in here stepped up.
37:07One of them had no head.
37:08It was preach for the wild salties.
37:10No head, huh?
37:11He's moving.
37:12Blank, Eddie.
37:13Fucking cunt is moving.
37:15He's been on our river search all day, Eddie.
37:17We do not have time for this.
37:19Put him in his shed.
37:22Hey, you two.
37:23I got a new job.
37:24And my tip's out.
37:25I'm Lynne's bar wench.
37:27Cass, have you seen my old man?
37:28Last two seconds from the end.
37:29Puts 20 bucks down for a round.
37:30Oh my god, that's your dad?
37:31No, no.
37:32He just took a call and left.
37:33Fuck.
37:34Someone's tipped him off about Moonboot.
37:35Okay, we have to get to his place.
37:36No.
37:37He starts fingering the evidence.
37:37No, we have our own case.
37:39And clearly someone else went out to the donger after our left.
37:41So I need you here not fixating on your dad.
37:43No, I'm not going to let him punch one more of those magical creatures, okay?
37:46It's like you're falling a merman.
37:48I found something.
37:49Jesus.
37:50In the river junk?
37:51I left it on your desk.
37:52Please tell me it's our motor blade weapon.
37:54No, it's not.
37:55See, Collins, it's nothing.
37:56We're in his ass.
37:57Come on, backpack.
37:58You're driving to Franks.
37:59Collins, check the river junk.
38:00It's impasse, Eddie.
38:01It's impasse.
38:02And leave your dad alone.
38:07Bang it, Leo.
38:07Come on.
38:08If you see a buffalo, just smash through it.
38:09They don't belong here.
38:10I'm not smashing through a buffalo.
38:11Mentors.
38:12I'm your mentor.
38:12I'm mentoring you to go faster.
38:13Well, I'm driving the speed limit.
38:15Fuck the speed limit.
38:16This is a clock emergency.
38:17I'm not fucking the speed limit.
38:18Go up his driveway.
38:21All right.
38:22Bang it up here, Leo.
38:23Hey, there he is.
38:24Handbrake.
38:25Tokyo drifted.
38:26I don't know what drifting is.
38:28Nah.
38:28I'll run.
38:29Stop the car.
38:29I'm going to run you slow.
38:30I'm going to turn all doing your shit.
38:31Mr. McAllister dismount.
38:33Dismount the student.
38:34Frank.
38:35Frank.
38:37The property.
38:37Where's your warrant?
38:38Ah, there.
38:39There's your fucking mouth.
38:40What have you got for me, Moonboot?
38:42Um, it's just over here.
38:44Why can't you just do something normal for a living like everybody else's dad?
38:48Be a baker or a butcher or a fucking regional manager?
38:51What are you on about, girls?
38:52I saw the crocs in the cool room.
38:54You're up to your poaching shit again.
38:57I didn't poach any crocs.
38:58It was a stitcher.
38:59Oh, bullshit.
39:01All right.
39:02What have you got for me, Moonboot?
39:03What's he hiding out here, huh?
39:04What did you find?
39:10What the fuck is that?
39:37Shit.
39:38Half-ass job.
39:39Can't even dig a proper fucking hole.
39:43What have you got buried in here, eh?
39:45Crock heads.
39:46Crock tails.
39:47Crock dicks.
39:48Crock nuts, eh?
39:49What are you trying to hide?
39:50Here we fucking go.
39:51I've struck croc bone here.
39:52What's this?
39:53Hang on.
39:53What is that?
39:56What is that?
39:56This is Detective Dolce Collins at Barrow Creek Police Station.
39:59We found a police issue handgun with two rounds missing.
40:02We're just hoping to identify the owner.
40:04Uh, serial number V-8-6-4-6-3-November.
40:12Mm-hmm.
40:22What is this, Frank?
40:23Did you chop and chuck Don Daryl?
40:26Did ya?
40:27Yeah!
40:37Thanks.
40:39wet
40:41wet
40:41wet
40:41j
40:43w
40:44w
40:44w
40:44w
40:45w
40:45w
40:45w
40:45You
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