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00:02Maggie, I know I messed up in the past, but I'm ready to be with you.
00:08I'm all in.
00:09I really want to believe you.
00:12Do it.
00:14Chester?
00:15It's not false. It's detected.
00:18Oh.
00:19I'm sorry. This is what we're doing today?
00:21I thought we were going to that goat's milk ice cream place.
00:24You did think that?
00:24This is, of course, what we're doing today.
00:26I'm going to ask you questions while you're hooked up to a lie detector,
00:29like.
00:29What makes this time any different?
00:32I went to therapy.
00:34That's true.
00:35Ayahuasca. Therapy.
00:37We're talking doing the work for 12, 13 hours in a treehouse in Van Nuys.
00:43How do I know you won't just disappear?
00:46I really, really, really like you, Maggie.
00:53That's true.
00:56Wow.
01:03Now tell me how attracted you are to my friends on a scale of one to ten.
01:08We'll start with Emma.
01:10Can we start with somebody else?
01:21So, how's it going with Rick?
01:23Yeah.
01:24It's going really great.
01:25Really great.
01:26Well, what about Shaw?
01:28I...
01:28I don't know if Shaw likes me back.
01:30Okay?
01:30This could all be in my head.
01:32But I know what I have with Rick is real.
01:34Yeah.
01:35He's a great guy.
01:36Right.
01:37Rick is really good for right now.
01:38Oh, wow.
01:39Okay?
01:39Look, he's cute and he's fun and light and... and dumb.
01:43But that's good.
01:44I could focus on my career without any distraction.
01:46We're rooting for you.
01:47Praying for you.
01:48Lighting candles for you.
01:49Hey, why is that degenerate Rick Silver back on my base?
01:53Because I asked him to stay.
01:55You can't trust him, okay?
01:56You can't.
01:56Actually, I can.
01:57Because he really, really, really likes me.
01:59And he said so during a three-hour polygraph.
02:02All that proves is he can lie for an entire season of British television.
02:06They're trained by the CIA to be able to beat the polygraph.
02:08It's like one of the first things that they learned.
02:10Okay.
02:10You are going to have to get used to this, Dad.
02:12Because Rick took a sabbatical from the CIA to stay on the base and work on the relationship with me.
02:17This guy comes from a morally bankrupt cult that is doing a slow controlled burn of the entire planet, okay?
02:24Stupid and evil is not what I had in mind for my daughter.
02:27No, I'm ignoring you.
02:28And look who is texting me.
02:30Hmm.
02:32You up?
02:33Maggie, it's 11 a.m.
02:34But he spelled you out.
02:37It's progress.
02:38Now, if you excuse me, I have got to go because I...
02:44I'm up.
02:45Huh.
02:48Conway, I know you want to get rid of Rick Silver just as much as I do.
02:51And I'm down for however we can get him off of this base short of, like, felony assault.
02:55Although, I do know a guy.
02:58I know a guy.
02:59Me.
02:59Alright, listen.
03:00Here's the deal.
03:01Maggie is in a platonic emotional affair that is going nowhere.
03:06So, like we all do, she called a hot, dumb sex guy.
03:11So, who's Mr. Platonic?
03:12Okay, that is not relevant.
03:14All you need to know is that Rick Silver is bad for Maggie.
03:17I'm not buying this whole CIA sabbatical thing.
03:19They don't do sabbaticals.
03:20No.
03:21It's like the hokey pokey with the CIA.
03:22You're either in or you're out.
03:23So, you know what?
03:25I'm calling the CIA.
03:27Hey, get me Langley operations, okay?
03:29Yes, sir.
03:31Can I help you?
03:32This is Colonel Patrick Quinn.
03:33I would like to discuss the whereabouts of one of your field operatives, a Rick Silver.
03:40Oh, you snitching?
03:41Well, I'm not really snitching.
03:43I'm snitching at a bunch of snitches who are snitching out of the snitches.
03:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:46I'm with you.
03:47The CIA has me on hold.
03:48What?
03:49They have terrible customer service.
04:00Corporal, what are you doing?
04:01I wasn't masturbating.
04:03What?
04:04I made a promise to myself and the laundry room spirits that I wouldn't defile this sacred space.
04:09And that is why I'm wearing oven mitts.
04:11Now, I meant why are you sleeping here and not in the barracks?
04:14I can't sleep there because Gideon's watching Gilmore Girls at full volume.
04:18Rory's going to Yale?
04:19It's not even a good season.
04:20So I had to go searching for a different place to sleep.
04:23Then I came across this little Goldilocks situation.
04:25I was like...
04:25You can't sleep here.
04:27Then why is there a bed with a framed photo of your family?
04:32This is your bed, isn't it?
04:33This is just a temporary situation, right?
04:35Celeste is still moving her stuff out of our place and I gotta steer clear or whatever.
04:38No judgement here.
04:39At all.
04:40Good.
04:41Now, normally I do have a thing about being a little spoon, but I think you need to be comforted
04:44more.
04:44Get in here.
04:45What?
04:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:47We're sharing, aren't we?
04:47No, no, no.
04:48We're not gonna be spooning.
04:48Oh, you could sleep in the laundry room, but the office is mine.
04:51Let's go.
04:51Ow.
04:51Ow.
04:52Okay.
04:54Hey, you forgot your oven mittens.
04:56No, you can keep them.
04:57They actually don't work.
04:58Oh, that's disgusting.
05:03Good evening, Colonel.
05:05Looking for this, I found all five.
05:13It appears I missed one.
05:15Why so many guns?
05:17Because I'm an American, that's why.
05:18Who the hell are you supposed to be, buddy?
05:20Alistair McCloud, MI6.
05:22Oh, God.
05:23Gross.
05:24You have a problem with MI6?
05:26Yeah, I do, okay?
05:28The only thing worse than a CIA spy is a British spy.
05:31Oh, is that so?
05:32Yeah.
05:32You guys are all emotionally closed off eunuchs.
05:35CIA's famous for drugging and bugging, but you guys, you're famous for peeping and
05:39creeping.
05:40Well, we prefer peaking and sneaking.
05:43Oh, I'm sure you do, pervs.
05:44I know what you guys do.
05:45You lurk in the shadows.
05:47You stare into bedroom windows while your tiny little clammy British hands are doing God
05:51knows what inside those stupid trench coats.
05:55Yes, your call to Langley, um, kicked over a hornet's nest, old chap.
05:59A CIA agent going AWOL at Stroopstorf begs a lot of questions.
06:03AWOL?
06:03Your agency tasked me as Netherland Station Chief to find answers.
06:08Where'd you find, old chap?
06:11I found this.
06:12I put a dead drop beneath a bench on your base an hour ago.
06:17The schematics of the base.
06:19There is a mole right here in the heart of Stroopstorf.
06:23And with your call, we suspect...
06:25Rick Silver.
06:25I knew it.
06:26I knew he was a double agent.
06:28Oh, my God.
06:29I've been waiting for this day.
06:30I'm gonna get my seventh gun.
06:31Not so fast.
06:33We need proof.
06:34So, we stand outside his window every night for six months of peeping.
06:41Oh, I mean peaking.
06:42Six months?
06:43They could be married in six months.
06:44Or worse, calling each other partners.
06:47The only faster way is to act like the cowboys of the CIA.
06:51And, as you say, with their drugging and bugging.
06:54Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. MI6.
06:55That's what we're doing.
06:57Colonel, thank you for this late night scotch invite.
07:01Yeah.
07:02Mmm.
07:03I thought it was a good time for a little sit down.
07:05Yeah, man.
07:06It's nice to be a welcomed guest.
07:08Especially since last time I was drugged and bugged.
07:12And this time, I put truth serum in your scotch.
07:16Again?
07:17Yep.
07:17When are you gonna realize that we're on the same side?
07:19We're not really on the same side, Rick.
07:22As a matter of fact, unfortunately, I'm on his side.
07:26Who?
07:27Yeah.
07:29MI6?
07:30Oh, you know him?
07:31He's a posh, impotent peeper.
07:33You've seen one, you've seen them all.
07:35Mr. Silver, I am here on behalf of your agency.
07:39Calmly answer my questions, and you may walk free.
07:43How do we know if it's working?
07:44Our scientists have engineered a gastrointestinal starting pistol.
07:50I'm so sorry.
07:51That was me.
07:52That was not the chair.
07:53That was definitely me.
07:56Oh, snap!
07:57You got me on that pure, uncut English truth serum, huh?
08:00How much did you give him?
08:02One drop?
08:02No, one bottle.
08:03I wanted to make sure it worked.
08:05I saw a dead alien in a freezer.
08:07I poked its toe.
08:09At least, I think it was its toe.
08:10But the guys I was with laughed, so it might have been something else.
08:17Hey, uh, have you seen Rick?
08:19He texted me, meet me in the teen center.
08:21P.S. I'm evil.
08:22It was me.
08:23That makes sense.
08:24Okay.
08:24Listen, time to face some hard truths about this guy.
08:27He's a mole, and he's spying on our base.
08:29And what proof do you have?
08:31I have a full confession.
08:33Hmm.
08:35Baby, baby, baby!
08:37Oh, your dad dosed me with truth serum.
08:41You need a hobby!
08:47Mr. Silver, are you the spy in Spooksdorf?
08:53No.
08:54What?
08:54So you didn't put the folder in the dead drop?
08:57No, I did not.
08:58The CIA informed us you were able.
09:00Yeah, they put me on travel restriction for causing a scene at the airport.
09:04I didn't want to take off my flip-flops going through TSA.
09:06It is a thong sandal.
09:08Like, check it with your eyes, bro.
09:10Point is, you didn't lie on the polygraph like my dad claims.
09:14Um, actually, your dad was right.
09:17Aha!
09:18See?
09:19What did I say?
09:19Let's go.
09:20About what?
09:20Spill.
09:21Come on.
09:22I don't really, really, really like you.
09:30I love you.
09:32Oh, my God!
09:34Really?
09:35I can't lie.
09:37Oh.
09:38You gotta be kidding me.
09:40Colonel, British dude with no sack, thank you both for giving me the push that I needed
09:44to finally open up my heart to you.
09:47Oh, Mom.
09:49Hey.
09:50Yeah.
09:51Pull the right hold of it.
09:53I do have a sack.
09:54Oh.
09:54Oh.
09:54We were wondering.
09:56Hey.
09:57We're in a tight spot, old chap.
09:59You think?
09:59Now she's in love with Brick Silver more than she's ever been before, and we have no mole,
10:03and we have no suspects.
10:04Yes, and because of your American yippee-ki-yay, we're now up the River Thames without a sculling
10:08Oh, so it's my fault?
10:10You know what?
10:10Just give me all the truth serum you have.
10:11I'll take care of it.
10:22What are you doing, Papadakis?
10:23Great.
10:24You're awake.
10:26I could really use some company, man.
10:27I am not used to sleeping alone.
10:29Yeah.
10:30Neither am I.
10:31Awesome.
10:33Divorce, huh?
10:34Yeah.
10:36Yikes.
10:41How are you holding up?
10:42What?
10:42It's hard.
10:44You know, but marriage was hard, too.
10:48Yeah.
10:50Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet.
10:52Or maybe I have and the timing will never be right.
10:55Maybe I'm meant to yearn for someone who I know is the answer to my loneliness.
11:01What?
11:02Nothing.
11:02So, your ex-wife, does she ever walk around naked?
11:07Yeah, sometimes.
11:09That is so sick.
11:14Wow.
11:15So, when you live together, you can have sex whenever you want, right?
11:21Yeah, you can, but you don't.
11:25What?
11:25Well, you're lying in bed together at night during the sex hours, but you're not having sex.
11:35Mm-hmm.
11:37What do you do?
11:39We look at our phones, mostly.
11:42You just look at your phones.
11:44Yeah.
11:47You look at your phones?
11:50What do you mean, you look at your phones?
11:54Oh, my God.
11:59How'd you narrow it down?
12:01After spending all night reviewing security footage, I've identified three suspects.
12:05How'd you know that they're gonna show up here?
12:06I promised them free pizza.
12:08What if they've already eaten?
12:10It's free pizza.
12:11Ah!
12:11Here come our suspects.
12:13Peacock.
12:15Nameless.
12:17And the stranger.
12:20Now the best bit.
12:21We watch.
12:25Pizza party!
12:26The sergeant isn't the suspect.
12:28I know, but I invited her because she knows who my daughter's crush is, so I figured.
12:31We give her the pizza, she tells us who the crush is, we invite that guy down.
12:35Bye-bye, Rick Silver.
12:36Do you think this is a game?
12:37Three people on serum is a risk.
12:39Any additions increases the danger exponentially, and now four.
12:42Well, six, actually.
12:43Hey, let's go!
12:45Thanks for the invite, sergeant.
12:46Look at them.
12:47They're like stray dogs with bones.
12:49Pizza!
12:50Pizza!
12:51Pizza!
12:52Pizza!
12:52He's got a whole pizza to himself.
12:54Pizza!
12:55Pizza!
12:56Pizza!
12:56Dear God in heaven, this many people on serum in one place at one time creates what we
13:02at MI6 call a truth orgy.
13:05It's extremely destructive.
13:06We're reasonably sure it's what caused Brexit.
13:09Listen, it's gonna be fine.
13:10Wait, save me some.
13:11Oh, no, it's not gonna be fine at all.
13:14Well, there's actually not a lot.
13:16I just farted, y'all.
13:20Why did I say that?
13:21Lock the doors.
13:22No one must escape.
13:23The truth orgy has begun.
13:28All right.
13:30We're all locked in.
13:31Ladies and gentlemen, as you have no doubt noticed, you are farting.
13:36And you're telling others that you're farting.
13:39I'm not.
13:41Never mind, I am.
13:42You've all been drugged with the most potent truth serum known to man.
13:46Soon you will feel compelled to divulge your deepest secrets and your darkest desires.
13:51I invited private someone, Yarn and Gideon, to find out which one of them is the mole.
13:56Someone else has ensnared the other four in this trap.
14:00So I would urge the rest of you not to move or to speak.
14:04Or this will turn into an absolute bloody frenzy.
14:16No.
14:17No.
14:18You dosed us.
14:20And why?
14:21What kind of sick mind games are you playing?
14:23This should be my last straw.
14:25But it's not because my childhood trauma leaves me desperate for your approval all the time.
14:30Stupid truth serum.
14:32Okay, let me explain.
14:33I didn't mean to dose everybody.
14:35I was trying to just dose Conway.
14:37What?
14:38That was the original idea.
14:39Because I know that she knows who your secret crush was.
14:42So I wanted to get that information out of her, invite the guy down, and then he could tell Rick
14:46Silver to kiss off.
14:47So, Conway, do you want to share your little secret with us?
14:56I had sex near Yarn.
14:58What?
14:59Ew.
15:00Wait, near?
15:00Did you mean with?
15:02No, no, no.
15:03I had sex with Yarn's polycure while he was playing classical piano nearby.
15:08Honestly, it was really hot.
15:10Oh, God.
15:11Group sex is a beautiful song.
15:13And I am merely a humble composer.
15:16But some people go as far as calling me the Mozart of humping in a yurt, you know?
15:21Doesn't this feel liberating, just telling everyone your unhinged truth?
15:25You?
15:25I don't really get why we have to wash our underwear.
15:28Nobody's smelling this stuff.
15:30That makes sense.
15:31All my hands below my waist are transplants.
15:34Wait, you got a crotch weave?
15:36Major Shah?
15:37Uh-huh.
15:37Gideon and I were not fighting with actually being getting along really well.
15:42Yeah.
15:43We push our bets together into a California king.
15:45Sometimes I pretend to fall into the crack and we laugh and laugh.
15:48Help me out.
15:49Help me out.
15:50I'm stuck in the crack.
15:51Get me out of here.
15:52Gideon.
15:52Shut up, Gideon.
15:53The reason I lied the other night was because I saw you sneaking into the laundry room to
15:58sleep with your little blankie and your pillow.
16:00And that was the saddest thing I've ever seen.
16:04And I grew up in Cedar Rapids.
16:06I've become Cedar Rapids sad.
16:08But hey, as a friend, you have got to tell this secret woman that you're yearning for how you feel.
16:14Who's the secret woman that you're yearning for?
16:18We're all wondering.
16:23Maggie?
16:23You up?
16:24Oh, this moron.
16:26Maggie, I got your SOS text.
16:27Here to extract you.
16:28No, Rick.
16:29Come on, let's go.
16:30No, you should go.
16:30You should go.
16:31We're doing a thing.
16:31It's called a, um...
16:32Truth Orgy.
16:33I know.
16:34Yeah, I helped play on the one that caused Brexit.
16:35What?
16:36Why?
16:37We're your biggest ally.
16:39I know, dude.
16:39I'm sorry, man.
16:40At a certain point, dismantling governments just becomes a habit, you know?
16:44My bad, dude.
16:44But I can hang.
16:45I'm still riding that full bottle from last night.
16:47You know what, Rick?
16:48I'm happy you're here.
16:49Because we already know how you feel about Maggie.
16:52And now I would like to hear how Maggie feels about you in return.
16:55Uh-huh.
16:56That's a great idea.
16:57Yeah.
16:58Maggie?
17:00I like you.
17:02Not love?
17:04Just really, really, really like?
17:05That's cool.
17:06No reallys.
17:07Not a single really.
17:08No, I see absolutely no future with you.
17:10And I've been lying to myself so that I could use you for sex without feeling guilty.
17:13But I judge you for having no morality whatsoever.
17:15What?
17:16Yeah.
17:17Suck it, Silver.
17:18You're done, baby.
17:19You're toast.
17:20You're cooked.
17:21It's over.
17:23Baby, I can see that you're too damaged to share your life with another person.
17:27Oh, no.
17:28I know that's not true.
17:29Because I would do it in a heartbeat with Abe.
17:32With what?
17:33Girl.
17:34Shaw?
17:34You're Mr. Platonic?
17:37Um...
17:37I didn't want you to find out this way, but I'm feeling kind of glad that I'm saying
17:41it, because now I'll know whether or not I've imagined the whole thing.
17:43It's not in your imagination.
17:47I love you.
17:49Yeah?
17:50Yeah.
17:52Wow.
17:52Oh.
17:53Yes.
17:54What?
17:56You know, I also love Maggie.
17:58I love Maggie, too.
18:00Yeah, I love Maggie.
18:01We all love Maggie.
18:02She's a very loving Maggie.
18:03All right, all right.
18:04Enough with the loving Maggie.
18:05You know, can we go talk in the meeting room?
18:06Oh, away from my dad and everyone I've ever met?
18:08Yeah, absolutely.
18:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:10Let's go.
18:10I'd rather they stay.
18:11I did not pick up on that.
18:12Who would even choose him over me?
18:15I could do this.
18:18Yah!
18:19Whoa.
18:20Pow!
18:22Pops!
18:25I can't believe that just happened.
18:27I've been wanting to say that for so long.
18:29So long.
18:29And obviously couldn't.
18:30And to see the look on your face, like, was...
18:36That's no longer the look on your face.
18:40Do you want to make out?
18:41We should probably make out.
18:43Maggie.
18:45That's not a good start.
18:46I'm not even divorced yet.
18:47Wait, but that's just a formality.
18:49We're not allowed to date in our chain of command.
18:51And we will keep it a secret.
18:53It's illegal.
18:54By army law, not God's law.
18:56God's law.
18:56Yeah.
18:57Maggie, what...
18:57Go on!
18:58Maggie, how many nights have we spent talking about your hopes,
19:00your dreams, your career aspirations?
19:03Yes, and we talked for so long because we couldn't make out.
19:06Yes.
19:07Maggie, this...
19:09This could jeopardize everything.
19:11This is a good thing.
19:13Don't you want all that?
19:14Yes, I do.
19:15I want those things.
19:16And I want this, too.
19:20Maggie, I could never forgive myself if I was any part of you not getting what you want.
19:30Well, the truth is overrated.
19:32Huh.
19:35Uh...
19:37All right, guys, this is it.
19:39The mole hunt is over.
19:40Which one of you is the spy?
19:46Let's go.
19:52Come on, I know somebody in this room put the folder under the bench.
19:56Oh, I did that.
19:57But only because you ordered me to.
19:59No, I didn't.
19:59What are you talking about?
20:00Yeah.
20:01Look, you sent me an email telling me to collect all the blueprints and leave them there.
20:07You thought my email was thecolonelq at hotmail.com.
20:12I thought you'd use Hotmail because of how you're old.
20:15So we don't have a spy problem, we have an idiot problem.
20:18You know, I feel like if I eat one more slice, I could talk to God.
20:24This pizza is taking me on a spiritual journey, everyone.
20:30You guys, let's keep this truth orgy going all night.
20:33I know all your social security numbers.
20:35But don't worry, I only use them when I needs them.
20:39I have a pacemaker.
20:41Like, not in my body, I just, like, have one.
20:43Top drawer, my dresser, my room.
20:45I'm circumcised, and it's my biggest shame.
20:48Not a day goes by that I don't mourn my foreskin.
20:51Brother, you are whole without that foreskin.
20:55I'm 118th Argentinian.
20:57I didn't want you guys to treat me differently if you found out I wasn't a purebred Greek man.
21:01Did you think that made us like you?
21:03I have a tattoo of a giant tombstone on my back that says,
21:06RIP good girl.
21:08No one's ever seen it.
21:10They can if they want to.
21:12I'm in love with a chatbot named Rosalia.
21:15She told me to stop talking to her.
21:17I've been having sex with Rosalia.
21:20I've always been madly sexually attracted to Mrs. Doubtfire.
21:24She's got great cans.
21:25And mind you, not Robin Williams and not Mrs. Doubtfire,
21:29but Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire.
21:31I breastfed until I was 10.
21:34I tried again at 13.
21:35It's going so well!
21:42watch it.
21:42Let me hear.
21:42I'm going to read.
21:42Let you read.
21:43I'm running.
21:43I'm running.
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