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FunTranscript
00:00So, the last time you saw Don was Sunday night.
00:02What time did you all leave the pub?
00:05I know you know what fucking went on on Sunday night.
00:09I didn't see anything pertaining to Don Darryl, Ed Weiner.
00:12If you don't tell us why you were out of the don, then we're just gonna have to guess.
00:15I was out there because I was looking for the money.
00:17Why did you give Don Darryl $300,000?
00:20It's Dubai King.
00:21The biggest croc in the territory.
00:22It's that hover, cunt.
00:24Run!
00:25Oh, Eddie!
00:25Hey, wait up!
00:26Eddie, leave it!
00:27No!
00:27No stuff!
00:28Hey!
00:29Oi!
00:30I shot down the hovercat!
00:32I know where that is.
00:34That's near Don's Donger.
00:36That's his bloody jetty.
00:37G'day, g'day.
00:39Jason, I also will need your whereabouts for last Sunday night.
00:43Really great to meet you, Dolphin.
00:44I'm really special, okay?
00:46Take care.
00:54There was someone else out of Don's Donger.
00:56Dragging Don's body up the jetty.
00:58Can you tell who it is?
01:00What?
01:00Chump from Land of Crocs.
01:02He's our killer.
01:04Collins?
01:04Collins, you still there?
01:06What the fuck?
01:22Back!
01:23Back!
01:24Back!
01:24Get up after that, you big scrote!
01:29I wandered in here by accident once, too.
01:31Big fella nearly took me arm.
01:34The employee exit's on the right.
01:36Don't worry.
01:36You'll get the hang of it.
01:38I'm Roisin.
01:39Is this your first shift?
01:41Come on.
01:42The exit's this way.
01:43And just watch that meat pocket.
01:4530.
01:4830.
01:4938 degrees.
01:491 a.m.
01:495-meter reptiles.
01:51Substantial stick.
01:51Invisible bucks.
01:52There is just no need.
01:54Ah!
01:55What was that?
02:01Oh...
02:04Bombing door.
02:07Bombing door.
02:08Bomb.
02:14Sorry, Sexy.
02:15I forgot to tell you I busted the door.
02:18A cute kid called Mav's gonna fix it.
02:24How was your day, Ma?
02:27Good.
02:54Well, Skid, it's a steamy one up here in the top end today.
02:56And in backpacker news, Task Force Hammer, it's Swedish for hammer.
03:01They have Ping Pong from Bing Bong still on the search for the Swedish backpackers
03:05who were last sighted in a white four-wheel drive at Crossley's Crossing.
03:09And you'll be cross, folks, if you miss out on catching a big one
03:12at Jason Wade's Big Barrow of Bashnanza that kicks off in Dirk's River today.
03:17Are you sure we should do it here, Lynn?
03:19Yeah, this is the bush turkeys turf.
03:22Everyone steers clear. We'll set up inside.
03:26What is that bloody banging?
03:38Eddie, let's get a hop along. Come on.
03:46Eddie!
03:48I reckon it's coming from over here.
03:53It is coming from the cool room.
03:54Well, what is it? Is it a brush you stuck in?
03:56Oh! Bloody hell!
03:57Open up!
03:58Come on!
03:59What are you doing in there?
04:00I'm freezing my flaps off in here!
04:02Oh, my God!
04:03Were you in the cool room all night?
04:04It's three degrees in there.
04:05What you two are doing is sick.
04:07Crocodiles are a protected species.
04:09They've been around since the dinosaurs, okay?
04:11They hang out with triceratops and you fucks are selling them as bar snacks.
04:14I'm very disappointed.
04:15Dunkleba's my ancestors.
04:17I'd seen a cook, Roger, and he knows that, eh?
04:19Yeah, someone must have snuck him in there when Bingo was off.
04:22Oh, yeah, someone.
04:23Was it someone you?
04:24Or you?
04:24Was it you?
04:25Oh, you proper mad.
04:26We don't know who put them in there.
04:27The security cameras are shot out.
04:30That little piss-fuck.
04:32All right, you two, leave those crocs where they are on top of the Alka-pops, okay?
04:36There's dodgy shit going on in there.
04:43Oh, his tummy's rock hard.
04:45He's all locked up, Abs.
04:46His poos are lined up like matchbox cars.
04:49Hi, love.
04:50Hi, sexy.
04:51You seen Eddie?
04:52No.
04:52Abby, how'd you go with the toe?
04:54Not good, man.
04:55His anus is clamped shut, Abs.
04:57It's weird.
04:57It's like he's holding it in on purpose.
04:59Come with me.
05:00I've got some apple cider vinegar to make that dead toe rocket right out of him.
05:03Okay.
05:04Now, how's your sex life?
05:05Um, Collins.
05:06Hey, where have you been?
05:08I got locked in the call room all night.
05:10What?
05:10My pubes have got hypothermia.
05:12They fuse together like instant noodles.
05:14Hear that?
05:14No, don't make the sound.
05:16Didn't you notice I was gone?
05:17I saw you sleeping in your nook, Eddie.
05:19That was a pile of shorts.
05:20Right, well, the smell was exactly the same.
05:23What's that?
05:23Is that the body part?
05:25Don's foot's not much good to us.
05:26Me and that ranger with the rainbow paddle pop eyes, Mickey, found it near Dickie's knob.
05:30He's got no toe.
05:31Anyway, come on.
05:32Let's rattle our dicks.
05:33We've got a shock to catch.
05:35How'd you get the drone footage?
05:37I shot it out of the sky.
05:38What?
05:46Um, so, ma'am, that Don Darrell drawing shows all of his body parts that have been found,
05:50right?
05:50Right.
05:51Eddie thinks the rest has been eaten by crocodiles, but maybe you can use these parts to reinvestigate
05:56Don's cause of death?
05:56Yes.
05:57If all you want to know is that he died from dying, I really need Don's torso.
06:01I know.
06:02I was just deluding myself for fun.
06:06Oh!
06:06Oh, sorry.
06:07That's a vibrator.
06:08Kath gave it to me.
06:09She said it's time I stopped being afraid of my own vagina.
06:12Okay, so, between the remains that Toby ate and the drone footage that I haven't seen but
06:19I hear is wonderful, we can establish Don's Donga as our primary crime scene.
06:24Yes, it looks like the scene's been cleaned and judging by the water runoff, I think it
06:28was pressure hosed.
06:29But my team and I are heading back down there to see what we can find.
06:32Lauren and Oliver and Toby are just having a quick coffee first.
06:36Together.
06:38This murder war is a real triumph, man.
06:40I know, I know.
06:41Leo did it.
06:41Leo?
06:42Yeah.
06:43They're our new you.
06:44I'm their mentor, they're my mentors.
06:46They'd be lost without me.
06:47They're the wings beneath my wind.
06:49Hi.
06:49Oh my god, Leo!
06:51Sorry, sorry.
06:52I've been wearing bright colours to make my lurking less paranormal, but it's not working.
06:56Yeah, no shit, mate.
06:57Invest in a bell.
06:58Leo, hi, I'm Abby.
07:00I worked with the Mams back in Deadlock, where we started out as colleagues, but then became
07:04best friends for life.
07:05Nice to meet you.
07:06Okay, big eyes, come on, let's clear a spot for mementos.
07:10Okay, new team is assembled.
07:13Nobody fuck up.
07:14Right, backpack.
07:15How are you going with that drone footage of Chomp?
07:17Collins is absolutely creamy to see that.
07:18I sent it to your email.
07:20Email?
07:21What?
07:21She's never had an email.
07:23I will get it up on mine.
07:24Okay, so our prime suspect is Chomp.
07:26What do we know about Chomp?
07:27Age, prayers, residential address, relationship to the victim.
07:30What are you going on about, mate?
07:31What do you mean?
07:32What do you...
07:32What do you...
07:32I mean, Chomp is not a person.
07:35Chomp is the Land of Crocs mascot.
07:37Oh, you never said that.
07:38Yes, I did.
07:39I said the killer is inside Chomp.
07:42No, you didn't say that.
07:42Someone is wearing Chomp.
07:44Yeah, I do get it.
07:45I am across the concept of a costume.
07:48Are you?
07:49Okay.
07:50What the shit's got up on you this morning?
07:51Nothing.
07:51Not getting enough sleep.
07:52Yes, I did.
07:53Not enough sex.
07:53Very well, thank you.
07:53Too much sex.
07:54Have a fight with Kath.
07:55Fucking grumpy bum.
07:56All right, so whoever is in Chomp's costume must be on Jason Wade's payroll.
08:00Collins, how'd you go out of the Land of Crocs yesterday?
08:02Ah, yes.
08:03So Wade said that the $300,000 payment was to buy King.
08:08Three of his four PAs confirmed that Jason was out of town filming his TV show the night
08:14that Don was murdered.
08:15Is that a snake skin?
08:16Is that the skin of a snake?
08:17Because Jason's alibi is sewn up like a Christmas turkey's arsehole doesn't mean that he's not
08:23behind at all.
08:23What would Jason gain by killing Don?
08:26He has everything, bar the ability to make eye contact with a woman he doesn't want to
08:30sleep with.
08:30It's a classic territorial dispute, you know?
08:33Old bullcrog versus new bullcrog.
08:36Their business is side by side.
08:37Jason probably wants to take over Don's part of the river.
08:40Colonising is a very hard habit to break.
08:42Okay, so you think Jason killed Don to get his land and he's delegated this task to high
08:47density craft foam.
08:48Yeah, there's no way Puffy Peck's Jason is going to do the dirty work himself.
08:52That's why we've got to find out who he had in that chomp costume on Sunday night.
08:56Oh, yes, my mentors.
08:58What are the rules around me talking in this environment?
09:00You're not allowed.
09:01The floor is yours.
09:02Go for it.
09:03Flora, the singer from the pub, also works at Land of Crocs.
09:05She says that staff rotate being chomped due to OH&S.
09:08Oh, yeah, that'll be because of that Mickey Mouse, you know, that story.
09:11So sad.
09:12Just sitting there, people coming up, taking their photos with him.
09:15Turns out he was dead.
09:16Stiffy Mouse.
09:18Flora also says that staff who wear chomp can't be claustrophobic.
09:21They have to be free of pubic lice and at least 5'9".
09:24Why's that?
09:25Stage presence?
09:25No, it's in order to see out of the mouth hole.
09:28Okay, let's get a suspect list together then.
09:30So how many staff does Jason have?
09:31Oh, I can plan that out, ma'am.
09:33Nah, it's too boring, big eyes.
09:34Backpack can do that.
09:35I need you to test this.
09:37Spoiler alert, it's a foot.
09:38Kept a card for you.
09:39I will put that up on the board.
09:41Okay, so Leo, Land of Crocs staff.
09:43So, all up, including the CEO, that's Jason, and the celebrant, that is also Jason.
09:48Land of Crocs has just over 60 employees.
09:5160?
09:51That's super.
09:52Investigating.
09:53All 60 should be a breeze, saying we're four people working out of a storeroom with a possible
09:58snake infestation.
09:59All right, well, let's just go around to the Land of Dicks and give them a razz.
10:01No razz.
10:02His main staff won't be there.
10:03They'll be at the Bashnanza.
10:04It starts today, and Jason's doing a meet and greet with his boys.
10:07Who's his boys?
10:08They work with Jason and appear on his TV shows.
10:11Okay, we'll head to the Bashnanza then.
10:13Leo, find out what time they're on, and we'll question them about Sunday.
10:15Yeah, fuck yeah.
10:16Drop a quick line in.
10:17No, no, yeah.
10:18Something's weird with this foot.
10:19What is it?
10:20Soft nail issue?
10:21The autopsy said that a knife was used to cut up the body post-mortem, but I think that's
10:25wrong.
10:26The severance line on the tibia is too clean to be a knife.
10:29Look.
10:29No, thank you.
10:30It's a precision cut.
10:32I think the foot was removed by a motorised blade.
10:37A forensics van pulled up and parked in my spot before I could park in my spot, and I'd
10:42like my spot back because it's my spot, not their spot.
10:45Okay?
10:50Okay, so we need to interview Jason's boys and locate this motor blade weapon.
10:54Yeah, but ma'am, I really need to get something off my chest.
10:56Okay, right now?
10:57Yes.
10:58I'm so sorry I quit the police force to pursue my dreams.
11:01It's fine.
11:01I mean, now you're stuck with me.
11:03It's really fun.
11:04And I'm in a hell of my own creation.
11:06Really fine, Abby.
11:08Please don't forget me, ma'am.
11:09Okay, but they are driving off without you.
11:11Oh, wait.
11:13Move it.
11:14Go.
11:15Eddie, we gotta go.
11:16Yep.
11:17I need you to do a job for me.
11:18Oh, no, I can't.
11:19Senior Sergeant Heffin has asked me to supervise in the removal and return of a Barrow Creek
11:23local by the name of, um, uh, Triple Pet, and Mr. Pet needs me.
11:28Okay.
11:29Look, I need you to search this address from mouth hole to crack hole, okay?
11:36Is this for the Don Darrell case?
11:39Yeah, 100%.
11:39Do you have a warrant?
11:40Yeah, yeah.
11:41I'm emailing it from my email right now.
11:43Ping.
11:43There you go.
11:44Eddie, come on.
11:45I'm coming.
11:46Yep.
11:46So Jason's boys aren't appearing until 2pm.
11:48Right.
11:48Flora's going to help me cut the list down.
11:50She's been at Land of Crocs for three months and her loyalty's really waning.
11:53She's offered to cut me a key.
11:54Oh, I don't want to be necessary.
11:55You should take her up on that.
11:56That won't be necessary.
11:57Okay, so while we wait for the boys to appear at the Bashnanza, let's search for our weapon.
12:01Mate, the killer would have just piffed it in the river.
12:04Okay, so we get some divers out there.
12:06No.
12:07You can't get divers.
12:08Uh, why not?
12:08Are they at a conference?
12:10Uh, no, because it's a river, Collins.
12:12Huh?
12:13It's teeming with crocodiles.
12:14Oh, right.
12:15Yes?
12:15Yeah, you can't swim in there.
12:16Uh, so what do you do?
12:18Well, we used to have a community swimming pool.
12:20That's what the diving board is there.
12:21She's seen me jump off out there.
12:22How do you search the river, Eddie?
12:24Use a big magnet.
12:26A big magnet.
12:28What is this, Looney Tunes?
12:31Okay, great.
12:32Great.
12:32Where do we, uh, find ourselves a big magnet tonight?
12:35You don't.
12:36Um, right here in Barra Creek.
12:38I know a local with one.
12:41Well, I'm gathering up good there, rabbit.
12:43It's all right.
12:44That's said and he will do you before.
12:47Okay.
12:48We've got to get in home first, but then it'll be 50% to me cash, right?
12:5450% to Rodge because it's his boat, but it's my big magnet.
12:58Right, and your big magnet, that works, yes?
13:00Oh, yeah, it's how we found all my Christmas presents growing up.
13:03Fuck up, it winner.
13:04You fuck up.
13:05What eight-year-old wants a fucking car park covered in fish shit?
13:08It was a catalytic converter.
13:10They're worth coins.
13:11Can you not antagonise your dad?
13:13We need him today.
13:14Okay, we've all had our offer.
13:15It's now $300 an hour.
13:17Fuck no.
13:18Look, he's taking the piss.
13:19Okay, we won't do it then.
13:20No worries.
13:21No worries.
13:22I'll get my fucking magnet.
13:23Sure, sure, sure.
13:24We can all get a big magnet.
13:25Yes, yes.
13:26$300 every single hour is a great deal.
13:29We appreciate your help, Frank, don't we, Edwin?
13:31I've got my fucking eye on you too, you rat dog.
13:33Crop thieves.
13:34All right.
13:35No one gets paid till Dickhat delivers.
13:37Hey, Rodge, listen to this one.
13:39No press, right?
13:40Even in the old man.
13:41Because you are my old man.
13:43That front row seats to your bullshit for four decades.
13:47I know what you're capable of.
13:49Go to the car.
13:49See you, triple cat.
13:52Come on, push him down.
13:53Okay, well, we will need to start out at Don's Donga.
13:56Oh, fuck my big, long dick.
14:00Who took the sack off his head?
14:02That is how keep some carp for fuck's sake.
14:04Oh, Eddie, we've got to get to the Bashnanza.
14:10The butterfly farm was actually great.
14:12I had no idea how many butterfly eat corpses.
14:15Yeah, it's definitely worth it.
14:17Anyway, that's it.
14:18That's it for my plans for the day and for the rest of the trip, actually.
14:23I mean, I'm going to get into my book from the pub book swap.
14:27Breathless Falls.
14:28Have you read it?
14:29I think my mums have it on their bookshelf.
14:31I grew up with two mums in Sydney.
14:33They were 78ers.
14:34My first car was a pride float.
14:36It was decorated like the island of Lesbos, so, yeah, you know.
14:39Fair to say Barra Creek's the straightest context I've been in for a while.
14:43Aside from that one Ed Sheeran concert that I went to, which was awful.
14:46It was so sad.
14:49I love that there's another queer person in town, Leo.
14:52We just get each other, don't we?
14:54Sorry, Leo.
14:55Sorry.
14:56Was I gone for long because I went to get a water and then totally forgot about you and had
15:00a nap.
15:01Wait, what are we doing again?
15:03Oh, land of crocs employees.
15:04Okay.
15:04That's right.
15:05I'm going to leave you guys to it.
15:07Let me know if you need anything, like head massages or legal advice.
15:12I'm a vet too.
15:13If you've got a Brahmin cow that needs antibiotics, I'll be over here.
15:16I'm going to be relaxing.
15:18I'm on holiday after all.
15:21Okay, so those two flew home last month, I don't know where that guy was.
15:25Oh, Peppa borrowed this too.
15:27That chick's 100% capable of motor, but she's only 4'11".
15:31Liz, I'm going to get the phone.
15:33He's still here unfortunately, and Rasheen fucked that guy.
15:35Now he lives in a Reiki tent on an avocado farm or something.
15:40Barra Creek Pub, this is Kath.
15:44Well, it's a mammoth opening to the big Barrabash Nanza,
15:48where one lucky fish oak would catch the golden Barra worth $200,000.
15:54$200,000?
15:54Hey, that's a lucrative bloody fish, Peppa.
15:57But remember, fellas, with over 4,000 Barrabundi released into the river for the Barstanza,
16:01every one of you has a shot at winning a daily prize if you catch a big one.
16:06And now on the Guts Hub stage, he's hot off the chopper.
16:09It's the star of Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under, Adventures from Down Under.
16:14It's Jason Wade.
16:18Welcome to the free Barrabash Nanza!
16:24Goal!
16:26This is Gammon.
16:28How would he like it if we told him he couldn't go fishing?
16:30Boss!
16:33Come on, we're going!
16:36Oh, OK, good.
16:37Leo's eliminated a bunch of the Landa Croc staff who could have been inside the chompsuit on Sunday night.
16:42Sanitation's out, says the aquarist.
16:44A lot of the croquettes have been deported to the UK,
16:47so that mostly just leaves the boys and a few others.
16:49All right, Leo has sent the boys photos and bio.
16:54Uh, uh, no.
16:57No, I think they've accidentally just sent the same man 15 times.
17:01Let's give it up for the boys!
17:02Uh, no, Collins, they haven't.
17:05We got Ben!
17:06We got Sam!
17:08We got Ned!
17:10Miko and my boy Ben!
17:15Come on!
17:18Jesus.
17:19Christ.
17:24And, fellas, don't forget to head over to the Shimano Fish and Reel Marti
17:28for the meet and greet with the boys.
17:30This line can suck my titties.
17:33Agreed.
17:33Join the reserves?
17:35No, no, thank you.
17:36No.
17:40So,
17:43how do you flirt with girls?
17:45Do you all just weather chat or the
17:47other topics that work as well?
17:50What?
17:50Well, you know, like, at the camp,
17:51like, you and Kath, you froth on about the weather,
17:53and then immediately you're fiddling each other's bits.
17:56Oh, God.
17:56So, I'm just wondering, do you...
17:57God, that's...
17:58Do all lessees get juiced up about weather?
18:01And what about the weather in particular?
18:02No, no, it...
18:03We're not doing this.
18:03It's wet.
18:04We are not talking about this.
18:04We are not talking about this.
18:04Soft, wet.
18:05We're not talking about this.
18:05We're not talking about this.
18:06Enough.
18:06Oh, hey, a croc boy's on the move.
18:07You stay here.
18:08We'll conquer him tomorrow.
18:09No, Eddie.
18:10Eddie, please don't leave me here with all of the...
18:20Eddie.
18:25Next, please.
18:26Next, please.
18:27Just keep it...
18:28No, I just...
18:29G'day, g'day.
18:31Name?
18:33Detective Dulcie Collins.
18:34We met yesterday.
18:35Yeah, good stuff.
18:35You gripping a rod today?
18:36Uh, no, I am here in regards to...
18:40Sensational.
18:40There's your photo.
18:41Very special to meet you.
18:42Who's next?
18:49Thanks for dropping me off, guys.
18:51Really appreciate it.
18:52Just leave me alone at a crime scene where a man's been chopped up and a violent murderer
18:56is on the loose.
18:57Cool.
18:57Yeah, I'll just sit here on a platter for them till you're ready to pick me up.
19:03What is that?
19:11Oi!
19:12Be careful.
19:13You're in the lunge position there.
19:25Detective Dulcie Collins, I want to ask you a few questions in relation to an ongoing investigation.
19:31Absolutely.
19:31100% ducky.
19:32Uh, Dulcie, where were you six nights ago on Sunday the 9th of October?
19:36Uh, I was out in Goomadir River in West Arnhem Land, ducky, filming Adventures Down Under.
19:40Adventures from Down Under.
19:41And can anyone verify that?
19:42Yeah, absolutely.
19:43100%.
19:43All the boys were there.
19:44Right.
19:45Uh, who?
19:45Hannah was there.
19:46Darcy was there.
19:47Josh was there.
19:48Tom, Ned, Mick was there.
19:50Yo!
19:51Hey Mick, I'm just answering questions for Dickie here.
19:53You're all good.
19:54Dulcie.
19:54Dulcie's questions.
19:55Uh, who else was there?
19:57Ben, Rory, Seb, Jed.
19:58And you're, you're Jed?
20:00Nah, nah, mate, I'm Ned.
20:01Right, sorry, yes.
20:03Uh, sorry.
20:03So did Jason take all of you boys, you know, Mick, Sam, Ned, the Benz, etc, filming on Sunday?
20:09Yeah, yeah, Dick.
20:10Yeah, all the boys were out there Sunday night.
20:12There he is!
20:12Ah!
20:13I'll stick my finger up your arse!
20:15Detective!
20:16Um, I need you at the river real quick.
20:18It's going up there!
20:19So you and all your croc blocks were all shooting Jason's TV show on Sunday night, hooked together, cocked a
20:24bum like a barrel full of fucking fuck monkeys?
20:27Yeah, that's right, a hundred percent. Hey, good to talk to you, legend. Keep it real.
20:30What?
20:32Fuck.
20:32Fuck me.
20:35Hey, Alira, got any cokes?
20:38We haven't restocked them yet, they're at the back.
20:43Mmm, I'll get you one.
20:49Fuck off me, Pete.
20:51Ah, Collins, what's happening?
20:52Hey, what did you want? A fan of? I wasn't listening.
20:56Who wants to feed batfish as a competition prize? We want money.
21:01Yeah, we've got stuff to pay for. A pool, the broken boat, and also batfish again.
21:07Hey, you better stop that before Aunty hears. You know she loves their batfish.
21:11Hey, you lot.
21:12Hello, Pat.
21:13What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out there reeling in the big one.
21:16They wouldn't let us into the Golden Barrow, even though Mav said he was 18, and our son
21:21was 25.
21:22Well, that's because you know all the good fishing spots, and they're afraid you're going
21:26to win all the money.
21:27That's right.
21:29Hey, mate, I don't think we've met.
21:31This is our cousin Mav. He's living with us now. He's fruit toast intolerant, so we can't
21:36get mangoes anymore.
21:37Ah, Mav, you're Mickey's uncle's boy, right? You've stayed with her before. I knew it.
21:42I never forget a pair of cheeks I want to squeeze.
21:47Come on.
21:48Moss is sick.
21:49Let's go.
21:49What's wrong with him?
21:50He looks okay.
21:51Nah.
21:52He's got a dog pox.
21:53Alright.
21:54You guys want a lift back to Barrow?
21:56Can we, Mav?
21:57No.
21:58Sure, Pat.
21:59I don't want to walk.
22:00It's too hot.
22:01Stop lining up my phone, Collins.
22:02I'm on my way now.
22:05Oi!
22:06Alara!
22:07What the fuck are you doing?
22:08Where's my fucking coke?
22:09I'm on a break.
22:19Just stand back.
22:20Oi!
22:21Someone caught a big one.
22:22No, no one caught a big one, okay?
22:24Okay, please get back.
22:25You're getting dangerously close to marble frog hibernation burrows.
22:28Come on.
22:29Oi!
22:29Hey!
22:30You heard the lady.
22:31Move the fuck away from a special fucking frog.
22:34Jeez.
22:35But come back tomorrow.
22:36And there's lots of info here about caring for country and other stuff that you don't give
22:40a shit about.
22:42Why are you always yelling?
22:43Huh?
22:44That's the most foot traffic we've had.
22:45Oh, you shout too.
22:47No.
22:47That's you doing that.
22:48I'm soft as fuck normally.
22:50Fog on.
22:51Righto.
22:51Collins, I'm back.
22:52I'm coke-less.
22:53What have you got for me?
22:54Oh.
22:56Holy shit.
22:57Oh.
22:58Fuck me.
22:59Yes.
22:59Welcome to this.
23:02Mickey's colleague Isaac was out on his big dinghy boat and found it wedged in some mangroves.
23:08Yeah.
23:09Did he say where?
23:10Nah.
23:10He dumped it here.
23:11Said he was too traumatised to work.
23:13Browsed for sunglasses on his phone for 10 minutes.
23:16Then he went to his other job at Knob Nightclub.
23:17I hope so.
23:18He's clearly torn up.
23:19Okay.
23:21So what have we got here?
23:23It's an anterior and posterior lower torso-pelvic region encompassing the genitalia and anus
23:33there.
23:34So it's a dick bum.
23:34A dick and a bum.
23:35Yeah, it's a dick bum.
23:36Yeah, that's what it is.
23:37It's a dick bum.
23:37Yeah.
23:38It's a dick bum.
23:44I'm going to go get a coke.
23:46Yeah.
23:51What?
23:52Nothing.
23:52Fuck off.
23:53Yep.
23:53It's alright.
23:54I'm going to call forensics, but it does fit Don's profile.
23:57The right testicle's missing.
23:58Okay.
23:59I'll just confirm with my dick stick.
24:00No, don't confirm with it.
24:01Don't confirm with a stick.
24:03Don't use a stick, Eddie.
24:04Yes.
24:04I suspected no right tenticle, testicle, testicle.
24:06Yes.
24:06I just told you that.
24:08So that's good.
24:09Don't.
24:09Don't.
24:10Yucky.
24:10Don't.
24:11Yuck, Eddie.
24:12Hi, ma'am.
24:13Abby.
24:14I'm glad you called so I can officially log with someone.
24:16That I'm alive.
24:17For now.
24:17We need you out here at the Bashnanza.
24:20Don's pelvis is turned up.
24:21I know it's not the full torso, but it would still be good for you to have a look.
24:24Okay, but I'm going to be a while.
24:25I'm getting a lift with some fishermen who won't tell me their names.
24:28One's giving me nothing, and the other says he's Mr. Surname Redacted.
24:31Oh, also, I found oil residue in the water near Don's Jetty.
24:35It's where Chomp's boat was moored.
24:37According to the fishermen, if there's oil in the water, it means the boat's leaking fuel.
24:41And if the boat's leaking fuel, that means the engine's fucked.
24:44Yeah, it's fucked.
24:44Right, okay.
24:46So we're looking for a Land of Crocs employee who owns a boat with a faulty engine.
24:49Yes, ma'am.
24:50Maybe I can trace the journey of the tinny via the fuel trail?
24:55Oh, the fisherman and nodding, ma'am.
24:57It's Leo, my mentors.
24:58Bye, ma'am.
24:59Back, back.
24:59What you got for me?
25:00Yes, hello to you.
25:02There's three Land of Crocs staff who Flora and I can't account for on Sunday night.
25:05One of them used to work for Don Darrell.
25:07Who?
25:08His name is Stephen Houlihan.
25:09Goes by the name of Spud.
25:11He's a local.
25:12Do you know him?
25:15Hello?
25:27Wait, what do you just want to do this afternoon?
25:29I want to go for a swim.
25:30I'm hot.
25:31Where?
25:32They put road over the pool to make it a road.
25:34We could play Waffle House Meow.
25:36Mum, Dad, for me it's an iPad game where you own a waffle shop loved by cats.
25:40And there's a secret shopper who's a bunny rabbit and...
25:43Wait, let's go for real.
25:44Wait, it's illegal to go in the DIR.
25:46There's aliens in there.
25:47They suck your brains out your nose.
25:49Come on.
25:50It'll be way faster.
25:53What if there's men men?
25:54Come on, Jerry.
25:56Hurry up, Jerry.
26:01Mav, we're going to cop an earful if mum knows we'll come here.
26:09Aw, deadly.
26:10What?
26:11What?
26:12Cool.
26:20So, Mr. Houlihan, we are trying to...
26:22Oh, chicken dickens.
26:23Where were you on Sunday night?
26:24Don't say you were filming Jason's TV show because we know you weren't.
26:27Yeah, do you know?
26:28You've been spying on me again.
26:30You're obsessed.
26:31Stalker.
26:32Coming back for more.
26:33Whoa.
26:34Oh, Mr. Houlihan.
26:35You got your one golf job in 1995, okay?
26:38Get over it.
26:39It wasn't even good.
26:39I spit on your dick afterwards.
26:41Okay.
26:41We know that you weren't filming on Sunday night because there is a list of people who are
26:45filming on Sunday and that list does not include your name.
26:48Your real name.
26:49Or your potato nickname.
26:51What do you do for Jason Wade?
26:54Mr. Houlihan.
26:55I know what he does.
26:56He bumps off Don Darrell's, chops them up into little pieces like an octopus on a teppanyaki
27:01grill so Jason Wade can take over Best Best's stretch of river and expand their universe of cocks.
27:06No.
27:07You're talking out your ring.
27:08Come on, it's the only job you can get.
27:10Look at that face.
27:10No one's going to put it on the telly, are they?
27:12It's like dropped carbonara.
27:13Oh, fuck you.
27:14Fuck you.
27:15Okay.
27:16You suck my dick.
27:16No, you suck my dick.
27:17What is this?
27:19Thank you for your precious time, Mr. Houlihan.
27:22Eddie, we're done here.
27:23What?
27:23No, we're not done.
27:24Bum.
27:25Collins, why not?
27:26Bum.
27:27Bum.
27:27Bum.
27:28Oi!
27:29Collins, why are we done?
27:30It's not spud.
27:36Well, like Leo said, our suspect in the chonk costume would have to be at least 5'9 to
27:40see out the mouth bit.
27:42How tall are you?
27:43Six foot.
27:44Good.
27:45Our suspect would have to come up to at least here and you and spud were eye to eye and
27:50only came up to here.
27:52Teeth hot.
27:53Spud's not our chomp.
27:55Fuck!
27:58Big madman to the brain.
28:01You.
28:02Me.
28:04Oi!
28:05You could put it out the fucking back.
28:07I was told to drop it at the police station.
28:10What's that say?
28:11Fucking police station.
28:12Have a look.
28:12It looks like shit.
28:13Have a look through it.
28:14Might get a Christmas present.
28:15You better not have taken anything out of there.
28:17What's that supposed to mean?
28:19You know what I mean.
28:21Hi, ma'am.
28:22Abby.
28:22I'm still alive.
28:23Scuttle off, right?
28:24Try that right.
28:25We paid you for that shit.
28:26You met Eddie's dad.
28:29What?
28:30That's a pair.
28:32Oh, that makes so much sense, man.
28:36Uh, Pat, can you get Luke to go through this?
28:39Look, I'm not exactly sure where Luke is, but to be honest, I'm not upset about it.
28:44Don't, don't stress.
28:45No, I can help.
28:46What am I looking for in here?
28:48A weapon.
28:48A motor blade type weapon.
28:50No problem.
28:51Ow.
28:52I've got a slip disc.
28:54I can help you, man.
28:56I can.
28:56Oh.
28:57Hey, Ellie.
28:57Are you done at the Donger?
28:59Yes, Lauren.
29:00I was done at the Donger hours ago.
29:02Okay.
29:02Well, we've got the pelvis, and we're going back to the city.
29:05Do you need a lift?
29:06Of course I need a lift, Lauren.
29:07I don't have a fucking car.
29:12Okay.
29:12I'll look at the body parts when I get access to the lab, and then I'll see if Toby shut
29:16out
29:16the toe, and then I'll go into debt renting my own car so I can come back here tomorrow.
29:21Okay?
29:21Okay, great.
29:22Abby, but they are driving off without you again.
29:25Oh, fuck me, Dad.
29:26Wait!
29:29Wait!
29:30Wait!
29:31Wait!
29:31Hi.
29:32Aw.
29:33Fucking funnel web in my...
29:34Good lord, Leo.
29:35Sorry, I...
29:37I did loud stomping.
29:39Turns out you were wrong before about that land grab motor.
29:42Ow!
29:43That's slick disc.
29:44Pinches in the bum.
29:45Want me to help her?
29:46I'm fine.
29:47Is it sorting?
29:47Because I like sorting.
29:48Sure.
29:49Text for Mickey.
29:50Oh, did you?
29:51Oh.
29:51How'd you get your number?
29:52Okay, fine.
29:53Did you...
29:53Nope.
29:54You gave it to her?
29:55Did you give her your number?
29:56What?
29:56No, shut your hole.
29:57No, she just texted to say that Isaac found the dick bum in Stonkers territory.
30:03Mate, that's 30 k's upstream.
30:09Where the fuck is it?
30:11I know as much as you, Eddie.
30:12Remember how Eddie said that a possible motive for Jason Wade was wanting Don's land?
30:17Collins, did you take my very special map?
30:19No, no.
30:19I didn't take your special soggy foot map.
30:22So, Leo, the spud was a dead end, but you said that there were three staff left on
30:27the list.
30:27Yes, but this is better.
30:28Now, I'm gonna check the other bins.
30:29I started looking into land titles, which led me to Crown Land, which is a wild concept
30:33that I will podcast about if this goes to show.
30:36Hey, can I just get the highlights reel on that one, Leo?
30:38Don and Jason's properties don't neighbour each other.
30:41There is another piece of land betwixt them.
30:43Mm-hmm.
30:43Yep.
30:44It's called the D.R.
30:45Dirks River Reserve.
30:46It used to be military land, but reverted to Crown Land in 2008.
30:49Okay, so...
30:50Oh, my God.
30:51Is this...
30:52This is bigger.
30:52This one's bigger, Eddie.
30:54Pat, have you seen my map?
30:55It's got a really fun maze on it.
30:56Five years ago, a native title claim was submitted for the D.R.R.
31:00Soon after, Don lodged a challenge because he wanted that land.
31:03Right.
31:04Yeah, which means that Don is in a land dispute, just not with Jason Wade.
31:08Uh-huh.
31:08So, Eddie, you were kind of right.
31:09Stop talking!
31:11I'm putting a pin to you.
31:12Right.
31:12Come and have a look at this.
31:13I've been thinking about where the body parts were found.
31:16Have a squeeze of this.
31:18Here is where the arm was found.
31:20That's Goliath's territory.
31:21Okay.
31:21The head was here in Titan's Patch.
31:23The foot was more downstream, where Monster is.
31:26But the dick bone, the dick bone, that was found all the way up here in Stonkers territory.
31:32Our killers chopped up old mate.
31:34Then they've taken their busted boat and is going from crock hole to crock hole feeding Don to the bulls.
31:40Whoever killed Don, they know this river and they know these crocks.
31:48Leah, uh, who is Don in the land dispute with?
31:53The Dunga Lava Corporation.
31:58Yes, a rabbit.
31:58I wasn't really happy only doing the tourist thing and then Lynn offered me this job and I was like,
32:03yes, because it's important to be part of the community and to contribute to it, isn't it, Rabbit?
32:08Hello, I'm Kath.
32:09What can I get you?
32:12Yeah.
32:13Yeah, okay.
32:13Yeah.
32:14Oh, here they are.
32:16Table for 36?
32:17No, 35.
32:18We lost one to the fucking cops.
32:28Al, do you have any alternative coverings?
32:31A shirt, a poncho of some sort.
32:34I only have the jump costume and it's too hot.
32:37It'll give me swamp nuts.
32:38Right.
32:38Yeah.
32:39Right, well that's best avoided.
32:41Hey, uh, how long will this take?
32:43I'm on a date with Roisin right now.
32:46We'll see.
32:46Al, when was the last time you saw Don Darrell?
32:49Mmm, I don't know, a couple weeks ago maybe?
32:51Sorry guys, sorry, sorry to interrupt.
32:53I've just got to get in here and heat my heat pack up for my back.
32:58Leo's helping with the weapon search now, so, uh,
33:01I'm just getting zinged down my leg.
33:04Uh, would you say...
33:06Uh, would you say that, uh, you and Don Darrell are friendly?
33:11Nah.
33:12Don was always yelling at someone, or something.
33:15Doesn't surprise me someone killed him.
33:17He was a...
33:19Wait.
33:20Why are you asking me?
33:23Oh, smells like microwave tuna.
33:27I'll tell you, that is not socialised, right?
33:29What adult sucks yoghurt from a pouch?
33:33I mean, you know, very weird.
33:36Anyway, I'll get out of your hair.
33:38You're looking good, Al.
33:41Al, we know your family was involved in a land dispute with Don Darrell.
33:44For ages, yeah?
33:45Says here it's been in court for five years.
33:48Five years, that is a long time.
33:50Yeah, we've been waiting longer than that to get our land back.
33:53Fair enough.
33:54Yeah.
33:55So, Al, where were you, uh, last Sunday night at 11.30pm?
33:59I was at home.
34:01Really?
34:01Because this photo here was taken from a drone that was filming out at Don's Donger at that time.
34:06This is Don, and we think that the person in the chump costume is you.
34:10That could be anyone.
34:12Well, no.
34:13The person here has a boat that's leaking fuel, and we know that your boat is busted,
34:17because your niece Cherry said she put dog biscuits in the fuel tank.
34:21You're also one of only two land of crockstaff that are tall enough for the chump costume.
34:25No, it was you and a Roisin.
34:29Roisin.
34:30Roisin.
34:31Sheen.
34:31Sheen.
34:31Last name.
34:32So, was it you or Mr. Sheen?
34:35Look, it's not what it looks like.
34:37Really?
34:38Because what it looks like is you dragging a very dead Don Darrell up the jetty towards the
34:42Don.
34:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
34:43He wasn't dead.
34:44Okay, I was out in the river, and then I saw him struggling to get out of his boat because
34:48he was shit-faced.
34:50Okay, full horrors.
34:51So I helped him inside.
34:52So you didn't kill him?
34:53Cut him up?
34:53Feed him the bull crocks like some kind of demon river santa?
34:56No, he was alive when I left him.
34:58Why were you on the river then?
34:59I was out there for special king tide cultural business.
35:03Oh, okay.
35:04Yeah, in your chump costume.
35:05Yeah, I was stuck in it.
35:06And there was no one left that worked to help me.
35:08Well, yesterday at the Crocosphere, Jason Wade said no one knows this river and it's crocs
35:14like Al.
35:14Exactly.
35:15If I was a murderer, which I'm not, I'd never dump a body in a river where 4,000 fish
35:19have
35:20been released for the Beshnanza.
35:21Crocs won't eat some old dead fella when there's fresh barra to eat.
35:24They're as smart as a chicken, but they have standards.
35:27I'm right, aren't I?
35:29None of Don's body parts were even eaten, eh?
35:32And yeah, my boat's busted up and it's leaking, but any fuel trail will lead from Don's jetty
35:36back to where I tie up near the creepy tree with the face.
35:38Because after I got that racist prick into the donger, I went home and I watched TV.
35:44I am sorry, I have to take this.
35:48What did you watch on the telly then?
35:49Cool runnings.
35:50About the Jamaican bobsled team.
35:52Can anyone verify that?
35:53The plot?
35:54Yes.
35:56Superintendent.
35:56Don't look away Deb.
35:58You don't want to miss it.
36:00Sorry Detective, I'm just down here at Mindal Beach watching the sunset with the in-laws.
36:04Have you been?
36:05No.
36:05No, I haven't.
36:06Oh, you gotta go.
36:07Look, I'm not religious, but this is my church.
36:10I mean, it's spectacular.
36:11It's...
36:13Anyway, Jason Wade's been in touch.
36:16He's rapable about his staff being questioned while they're on the job today.
36:19Uh, yeah, I did not think that he recognised me.
36:23Well, these boys must have reported back.
36:24He's called all the higher ups too.
36:26So, do you have something on Jason?
36:29Because if you do, I'll absolutely be back here, but...
36:31No.
36:33No, we don't.
36:34We were following a line of inquiry that involved him, but recent developments suggest that neither
36:40Jason nor his staff had anything to do with Don's homicide.
36:44Oh, okay.
36:45I'll report back to HQ and put out some fires, because currently Wade's clamped onto you,
36:49and he doesn't want to let go until you've got no career left.
36:51Oh.
36:52Oh, that's super duper news.
36:54Yeah, look, Detective, I know we've only just met, and I'm not across what happened in Tassie,
36:59but I do need to be kept in the loop with all of this.
37:01Communication is kindness, as my daughter Alice says, right before she sledges my footwear.
37:06Yes, of course, Superintendent.
37:08Oh, look, deadlock wasn't the best reflection of my professional standards.
37:14Mistakes were made.
37:15Well, I know you're diligent.
37:17I've seen your handwriting.
37:18I thought it was tight.
37:19But from all reports, Detective Redcliffe doesn't share your respect for protocol.
37:24Look, Bernie, we're nearly there.
37:26Keep an eye on it.
37:27Like, obviously there's a chain of command.
37:29Now, Redcliffe directing Sergeant Ferguson to conduct a premises search today, that wasn't great.
37:34I mean, the fact that he found something's irrelevant.
37:36Here we go.
37:37So, sorry, Eddie did what?
37:43Do you know how unprofessional and foolish you made me look in front of the superintendent?
37:48You should have told me, Eddie.
37:49I'm telling you now, okay?
37:51I got leaked to do a property search.
37:52For what purpose?
37:54Frank's been up to his old tricks again, hasn't he?
37:56I wouldn't know, Eddie.
37:57Saying shitty he was up to six months ago with me and Bush had put him away.
38:01I'm sorry, what?
38:02You put your dad away with me.
38:04Why, was he involved in a homicide?
38:06No, yes!
38:06Yes!
38:07It was a fucking homicide to me, okay?
38:08And when I saw my roommates in that girl room last night, I knew, I knew he was doing it
38:12again.
38:13Doing what, Eddie?
38:14Poaching wild crocs, Collins, okay?
38:16Selling their bits on the black market and make fucking erection powders and little morbid wind chimes and shit, but
38:21don't take my word for it, come look.
38:22No!
38:23Frank poaching crocs might be illegal, but it is not relevant to Don Darrell.
38:26So I've been working our actual case, Eddie, but you, you've been having covert conversations.
38:30You've been unlawfully discharging weapons, requesting searches behind my back.
38:35You know, I knew when I saw him out here the other day.
38:37I fucking knew.
38:38I should've twigged then.
38:39I should've fucking twigged.
38:40When those pub witches let me out and I saw his scooter, I should've booked him.
38:43Behold!
38:44Frank's Craven fucking black market crocodile empire.
38:49Yeah.
38:49It's a shock, isn't it?
38:53Nah, there was fucking crocs in here.
38:57He's poaching again.
38:58They were here.
38:59Look!
39:00Look at all that treasure!
39:02Let's go!
39:03Guys, I found a microphone!
39:05Wait, can I have this?
39:06Yes.
39:06What's this?
39:06Can I have this clue?
39:08Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
39:09We're red!
39:10Come on, let's go.
39:10Come on, your mum.
39:11Hey, this microphone still works.
39:13Come on.
39:14Give that to me.
39:14I've got to make it so soft on all of that stuff.
39:17That's what I've got to do.
39:23I swear, I swear there were four crocs in here, stepped up, one of them had no head.
39:27It was three for a while.
39:29Salty's.
39:29No head, huh?
39:31He's moving.
39:32Blame, Eddie.
39:33Fucking cunt is moving.
39:35He's been on our river search all day, Eddie.
39:37We do not have time for this.
39:39Probably put him in his shed.
39:42Hey, you two.
39:43I got a new job.
39:45And my tits out.
39:46I'm Linz Barwin.
39:47Tass, have you seen my old man?
39:48Barstool second from the end, puts 20 bucks down for a round.
39:51Oh my god, that's your dad?
39:52No, no.
39:52He just took a call and left.
39:54Fuck.
39:55Someone's tipped him off about Moonboot.
39:56Okay, we have to get to his place.
39:58No.
39:58No, we have our own case and clearly someone else went out to the donger after Al left.
40:02So, I need you here not fixating on your dad.
40:05No, I am not letting him punch one more of those magical creatures, okay?
40:08It's like you're falling a mooman.
40:09I found something.
40:11Jesus.
40:11In the river junk?
40:12I left it on your desk.
40:14Please tell me it's our motor blade weapon.
40:16No, it's not.
40:17See, Collins, it's nothing.
40:18We're a noob's ass.
40:19Come on backpack, you're driving to Franks.
40:21Collins, check the river junk.
40:22It's impasse, Eddie.
40:23It's impasse.
40:24And leave your dad alone.
40:29Bang it, Leo.
40:30Come on.
40:30If you see a buffalo, just smash through it.
40:32They don't belong here.
40:33I'm not smashing through a buffalo.
40:34Mentors.
40:34I'm your mentor.
40:35I'm mentoring you to go faster.
40:36Well, I'm driving the speed limit.
40:38Fuck the speed limit.
40:39This is a clock emergency.
40:40I'm not fucking the speed limit.
40:41Go up his driveway.
40:45All right.
40:45Bang it up here, Leo.
40:46Hey, there he is.
40:48Handbrake.
40:49Tokyo drifted.
40:49I don't know what drifting is.
40:50No.
40:51No.
40:52Oh, one.
40:52Stop the car.
40:53I'm gonna run.
40:53You're slow.
40:54I'm gonna turn all doing your shit.
40:55Mr. McCullis, start dismount.
40:57Dismount the scooter.
40:58Frank.
40:58Frank, don't talk to him.
40:59Frank, don't talk to him.
41:01There's a private property.
41:01Where's your warrant?
41:02Oh, there.
41:03There's your fucking warrant.
41:05What do you got for me, Madboot?
41:06Um, it's just over here.
41:09Why can't you just do something normal for a living like everybody else's dad?
41:12Be a baker, or a butcher, a fucking regional manager.
41:16What do you want about girls?
41:17I saw the crocs in the call room.
41:19You're up to your poaching shit again.
41:22I didn't poach any crocs.
41:23It was a stitcher.
41:25Oh, bullshit.
41:26All right.
41:27What do you got for me, Moonboot?
41:28What's he hiding out here, huh?
41:30What did you find?
41:35What the fuck is that?
42:04Shit.
42:05Half-assed job.
42:06I can't even stick a proper fucking hole.
42:10What have you got buried in here, eh?
42:12Crock heads, croc tails, croc dicks, croc nuts, eh?
42:16What are you trying to hide?
42:18Here we fucking go.
42:19I've struck croc bone here.
42:20What's this?
42:21What is that?
42:24This is Detective Dulcie Collins at Barrow Creek Police Station.
42:27We found a police issue handgun with two rounds missing.
42:30We're just hoping to identify the owner.
42:33Serial number V-8-6-4-6-3-November.
42:51What is this, Frank?
42:53Did you chop and chuck Don Daryl?
42:56Did ya?
43:06Thanks.
43:41It was a big Boy a Darylman .
43:46No.
43:48They hit a distance fromhof이고 battle he or go.
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