She Overcame Years of Paternal Abuse

Unfiltered Stories

Today on Unfiltered Stories, our guest Sharon Evans courageously shares her life experiences. Sharon had a difficult upbringing in a neglectful family environment with an abusive mother. She endured years of unspeakable abuse from her father during childhood, resulting in immense trauma. Watch as Sharon openly discusses her journey towards healing and how she reclaimed her sense of self-worth after such hardship.   #csat #survivorstories #lifestory   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.  Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Sharon Evans. I do go by Chappelle. I am 43 years old. I live currently in Duncanville,

00:07Texas, and the story I'm going to tell is how I was molested by my father for many, many years

00:15and how it has shaped me into the person that I am today. Before the abuse started, I was born

00:21to a woman who I don't believe was ready to be a mother at that time, so therefore I was

00:27raised for

00:27the first part of my life by my loving grandparents who took wonderful care of me. I mean, they gave

00:34me

00:34the best life they could, and then my father, who I was told was in jail, got out and came

00:42and got me

00:43from my grandparents' house. Kind of that's how the ball of abuse started with him, maybe not straight

00:50away. So I was living at my grandparents' and no, my mom was kind of off doing her own thing,

00:57so she wasn't necessarily present for the first few years of my life. And then, you know, my dad kind

01:04of came at nighttime and was like, you know, pack up a suitcase, you're coming with me. And my

01:12grandparents were kind of like, well, there's really nothing we can do because he's your dad,

01:16so you have to go with him. And that's kind of how that happened. In that moment, and granted,

01:22I was very, very young, so I only remember pieces, like flashes of it, but I do remember being the

01:28feeling of being scared because I didn't know him. And my grandfather more so was just trying to

01:34console me as if everything is going to be okay, you know, you're going to go with him, and, you

01:40know,

01:40this is your dad, and things are going to be fine. But my grandparents had no idea that it was

01:45not,

01:45in fact, going to be fine. I was five years old when my dad first came to get me very

01:52young. So

01:53my first experiences with my father was kind of bouncing around. We went from woman's house to

01:59woman's house. He had quite a few ladies in his life. There was drugs involved. I did witness my

02:05father shooting up. Many a times, you know, we would be in the car. I would witness drug deals.

02:11We would go to hotel rooms. Sometimes we slept in the car. My first experience with him was not the

02:17greatest. I ended up going back to my grandparents' house because my dad ended up finding himself into

02:24some more trouble. If there was abuse going on at that point when I was so young, like five,

02:30I don't remember that part of it. It wasn't until my dad came back into my life that the sexual

02:39abuse

02:39started that I can vividly remember. So I went back to my grandparents because my dad got himself

02:46into some trouble. He went back to jail. And then, so I was with my grandparents. And then my dad's

02:54brother, my uncle, and my mom came and got me. And we moved to Louisville, Texas. And then when my

03:02dad

03:03got out of jail, he moved in with us there as well as my younger sister at the time. And

03:09that's when

03:09the abuse started. So my mom and my dad's brother ended up getting together and falling in love with

03:15each other. That in itself was not a horrible thing because my dad's brother, my uncle, was very loving

03:21and he was a great man. That connection, you know, them having, being together was not necessarily

03:26weird to me because I loved him dearly. And he loved me, not even just as a niece, but as

03:33like

03:33a daughter, he was the best father figure ever. And that my dad being his brother, when he got out

03:38of jail, of course, he wants to help his brother out. And he let him come and stay in the

03:43apartment

03:44with us in Louisville. And that's when the abuse happened. I'm not quite sure how, how that all took

03:50place and what kindled that or what started that. I know that my uncle was a very big part of

03:55my life from the moment that I was born. So I don't know, maybe something had kindled

04:00there. Part of me believed maybe that he did in fact get involved with her because of myself

04:08and my sister. He wanted to give us a father figure, if that makes sense. And then kind

04:13of, you know, my biological mother was the, um, the extra piece, the package or the whole package

04:19deal, you know? So I think maybe that might've been it taking up the slack for his brother that

04:25wasn't a very good debt. I remember going to visit my father when he was in jail right

04:30before he got out. And then he ended up getting out. Now I was very young, so I don't know

04:36if

04:36it was paroling out or how that happened, but he did come to stay in the apartment that

04:41we lived in. Myself and my younger sister shared a room and there was no other place for him

04:47to stay. So he ended up getting one twin bed. And then me and my sister had another twin bed

04:52on the other side of the room. I don't think that him staying in the room kind of gave me

04:57weird vibes because again, at this time there hadn't been no abuse or anything to freak me

05:02out. So I, I think that, you know, for me, I was just like, my dad is sharing a room

05:08with

05:08us. You know, like the way that it was presented was he needs a place to stay. He's kind of

05:12bad

05:12on his luck and his where he's going to stay. So the first night that had ever happened, um,

05:18he came and got me out of the bed and then put me in the bed with him. He did

05:24not have any pants on

05:26and he took my panties off. He laid me on top of his chest and put his private parts between

05:33my legs

05:34and kind of held my legs shut and then moved me up and down in a motion until he was

05:39finished and he

05:40ejaculated. And then, um, I kind of just laid there for a second because he didn't just push me off

05:46at that moment. I kind of laid there for a little bit and, you know, he kind of, you know,

05:50caressed

05:51my hair. And then I, I was like, I, I need to use the restroom. And then I went to

05:56the restroom.

05:56And when I returned, I got back in my bed. I remember it just wanting to go to sleep,

06:01just wanting to go to bed. I didn't understand. I couldn't process. I was very young what was going

06:07on. And this happened every single night that we lived there in, in Louisville. We lived in

06:14Louisville, um, with him living with us for, I don't know, six months, maybe eight, nine months,

06:21but till we moved to Garland, Texas. And he then came with us there as well in Garland. He had

06:26his

06:26own room and I had my own room, but he still would come and get me out of my room

06:33and bring me into his

06:34room. It didn't take me very long to understand that this felt nasty. I did not like this. I never

06:42said anything to anybody, but I do remember having a sense of now. Remember, I have a younger sister

06:47who is, um, four years younger than me, you know, three and a half, almost four. So I remember wanting

06:52to protect her from him. So I did have that sense that I didn't want this to happen to her,

06:59but he

06:59never did anything with her. Even to, to this day, she says nothing ever happened. Like he never did

07:06anything to her. So I'm grateful for that. But then we moved to Garland and my sister goes back

07:11to live with my grandparents, you know, for educational purposes and the schooling that

07:15was there for her and her special needs. And it just continued to happen there with my dad. And I

07:19mean,

07:20every single night that I stayed in that house, he would come and get me out of my room. He

07:25would make

07:26me lay on top of him or he would make me spoon with him. Now he never penetrated me with

07:31his

07:31private, but he would penetrate me with his digits, with his fingers. That was it. And that lasted up

07:37until I was 11. Before I told, I started feeling, I started finding my voice with him. And again,

07:46no one knew what was going on in the house. You know, it was a very good secret that me

07:50and him

07:50kept. He was saying, he would tell me things like, nobody's going to believe you. No man is ever going

07:56to love you. I'm the only man that's ever going to find you attractive. And he also bought my love.

08:01That was one red flag that I wish other people would have saw, but I was literally spoiled by

08:06him. When school started, I got all my new clothes from the mall season passes to wet and wild money.

08:13If I wanted it, like he literally was buying my silence and we were poor. So for me, you know,

08:18it was like, I liked these gifts, but it came at a price. And that price was, was my body.

08:25I remember

08:25sitting outside on a stool in the driveway, very close to the garage. And my uncle was working on a

08:32car. He was, you know, literally in the hood working on it. I kept saying the words over in

08:38my mind over and over and over again, what triggered me to want to tell was that my dad had

08:45disciplined

08:46me. He yelled at me for writing on my sister's folder. It was something so small. And he was like,

08:53don't touch her stuff again. And I was going outside and I wasn't even listening to him.

08:58Cause in my mind, I'm like, how dare you, how dare you get onto me with what you're doing to

09:03me?

09:04So I went to leave out. He jumped up off the couch and slammed my fingers into the door. I

09:08was opening

09:09it. And I looked at him straight in his face. And I said, don't ever touch me again. You are

09:14not my

09:15dad. You will never be a father to me and get off of my hand. I walked outside. I sat

09:21in the stool

09:22and I kept playing. I said to myself that enough is enough. Not only are you doing these

09:28things to me, but now you have the nerve to try to discipline me. I just wasn't having it. I'm

09:32saying it over and over again, the words, the words to say the words to say, I'm closing my eyes.

09:38And I just let my mouth say the words, which was Gilbert has been molesting me since we lived in

09:45Louisville. And my uncle stood straight up out of that hood, turned around to me. And again,

09:52I'm in an elevated stool. So we're like face to face. He walked right up to me

09:57and grabbed me by my shoulders and said, what did you just say to me? And I said,

10:03Gilbert has been touching me since we lived in Louisville. And it hasn't stopped. He does it

10:09every single night. My uncle began to cry and say, he's kept saying, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell

10:18me this? I'm so sorry. He hugged me at this point. My biological mother comes through the garage

10:25and she says, what is going on? She was bringing him some iced tea, which is why she was coming

10:31out.

10:31And he looked at her and said, Gilbert has been touching on her. And she said, don't feel sorry

10:37for her. That's what she wants you to do. And he looked at her and said, what is wrong with

10:42you?

10:43He says, I'm going to off that MF. He marched right into the house up on the porch. I hear

10:51a commotion

10:51going on behind me. There's a window behind me. And it was almost as if he lunged my dad into

10:57the

10:57front yard. And he was the little brother. My dad is really tall, really big and lunged him in the

11:04front yard and said, don't ever come around my house again. You're never welcome around here again.

11:09You're dead to me. How dare you do this? That was it. Then my dad moved to Michigan with his

11:17mom.

11:18And that's where that part of the abuse ends for me. I don't know why that was what she chose

11:25or how

11:26she chose to handle the situation at the time, perhaps shock, but we did not have the best relationship,

11:33maybe because, you know, she didn't necessarily raise me for the first part. Maybe we didn't have a

11:38bond. I don't have answers for her. I have forgiven her for that. Maybe she was in shock. I don't,

11:44I don't quite know, but I'm glad I had somebody that I could talk to. And I knew it had

11:49to be him

11:49with my life and my family dynamic. I knew that he was the only person that I could tell. And

11:56I didn't

11:57know his reaction would be that way, but I knew that he would listen to me. When I was abducted,

12:02he was still living at the house. This was pre me telling what was going on. When I was in

12:07the sixth

12:07grade, I had a middle school, had a friend that asked me to walk her home. Walking from the school

12:14to my house is not a short distance. As a matter of fact, I'm a bus rider and should have

12:18been on

12:18the bus that day. But you know, it's my friend. I didn't want her to walk by herself. I walked

12:22her

12:22to her apartment. I watched her go into the door and then I go, you know, I'm on the main

12:27road and I'm

12:29actually very, very close to my house. When a white van pulls up and asked me for directions. And I

12:36remember it was like an old, you know, that old stereotypical white beat up van that, you know,

12:41the stranger danger van. That's exactly what he drove. He was a Hispanic male. He was trying to

12:46ask me for directions. I was on the sidewalk over here. He's over this way. I couldn't hear him

12:51because the van was so raggedy. So he motioned me to come over and I opened up the door. I

12:58can still

12:58hear it. That door, that old rusty door noise. I opened up that door and he snatched me from my

13:06backpack and pulled me into the van and drove off the door shut behind. I'm in the back of this

13:14van.

13:14There's no seats, no anything. It's down to the metal. And I remember in my mind, at first I was

13:20in

13:20shock. I couldn't scream or anything. And I remember that that van made a left and had we just made

13:28a

13:28right. I would have been right at my house. And the windows were blacked out. I couldn't see where we

13:34were going. For three days, this man kept me, sexually assaulted me, beat me. He slept in the

13:42van. And then when he was done with me, he let me go. And my family didn't look for me

13:49because during

13:49this time, of course, I was being abused by my father. So I ran away a lot because to be

13:54away from

13:55the house, he couldn't hurt me. So they assumed this was another one of those times where I'd ran

13:59away and I would just come home. They had no idea that I had actually been abducted walking home from

14:05school. I told my grandmother, which is my dad's mom. She basically was just like, it was my fault.

14:13You know, well, you should have been on the bus that day. And I don't know. She just basically

14:17shrugged me off. You know, you know, it's a good thing he could have killed you. Good thing you didn't

14:21get killed. If I were you, I wouldn't be walking home from school. You're supposed to be riding

14:27the bus. This could have ended badly for you. That was kind of the attitude that I got. Nothing

14:32ever came of it. I don't know what ever happened to that guy. I don't know. I lived with so

14:36much guilt

14:37after that for not telling like a counselor at school because I believe this man stalked me.

14:41You know, like not, you know what I'm saying? Like maybe not for days at a time, but that day

14:46he saw me by myself. And I often wondered, did he do this to somebody else? You know,

14:52if I told maybe I could have prevented someone else from being abducted and who knows, he may

14:59have killed the other, you know, someone else. But for me, I believe he let me go because I literally

15:05told him, I don't know what your plan is with me, but I just want you to know that you

15:10could kill me

15:10and my family won't care. They're not looking for me. You're not going to get in any trouble

15:15because they don't care. And that's where my mind was at that point. Um, I felt like

15:21the signs were there that I was being abused, you know, the wearing all black, the cutting on myself

15:25and you know, the, the, my journal and things that I was doing, the running away that should have sent

15:32up red flags for somebody, but they weren't listening. And I felt very unloved and very unheard

15:38and unseen. The only person that saw me was, you know, my dad who saw me as a sexual object.

15:45When I was being abused by my dad, my mind would go to another place. I oftentimes like,

15:52cause I, it would have to have been outer body experience. I could not be myself and endure what

15:58he was doing to me. Same thing. When I was abducted, I was mentally in another place. And I almost

16:05felt

16:06like at that point I had just waved the white flag and was just like, I just completely give up

16:13because like, this is, I kind of felt like I was unwanted when I was born because, you know,

16:18my grandparents had to raise me. And then I go right into this. I found myself questioning,

16:23you know, if God is so real, then why is he allowing this to happen to me? I was very

16:29aware

16:30of what was going on with me for the first part. I thought maybe it was normal and maybe all

16:35dads did

16:36this, but then my best friend in middle school was raised by her father. He was a single father

16:41and I saw their relationship. And that's when the light bulb went off. And I said,

16:46what's happening to me is not normal. Not only does it feel bad, but I see that this is not

16:52normal.

16:53And then the relationship I had with my, my uncle wasn't that way either. So I had those things

16:58letting me know that this, but I wonder why was I being punished? Like, what did I do so bad?

17:03Why did you guys even have me? Why was I even born if you're just going to, you know, degrade

17:09me

17:10and abuse me and just throw me away? Like why even bring me into this world? I often ask myself

17:18that

17:18question. There was a time after this happened, I went to stay with my aunt in Michigan, which is where

17:24my dad had went. And I remember speaking with her. She had a very bad childhood herself.

17:29And she told me when I got off that plane that, um, I could be anybody I wanted to be.

17:35I could change

17:36my name if I wanted to, you know, because I was there on, on a vacation and I don't know

17:41why,

17:41but that kind of stuck with me after the situation with my dad. And I was able to confront him

17:47about it

17:47because, you know, I did finally tell a caseworker and try to get him in trouble. Of course,

17:52he ran from the law and everything. I remember that when it was done and over with, and he couldn't

17:57hurt me anymore, that I just said, I didn't want to be Sharon anymore. And I don't go by Sharon

18:04with anything, unless it's like a legal thing, you know, I mean here or whatever, I don't know,

18:10changing my name, which is not legally changed, but I go by something different helped me a lot

18:16because Sharon was tired. She was a little girl who was not heard. She wasn't seen. She was,

18:27you know, she was abused and then thrown away, but Chappelle is strong and she has a voice and she's

18:35not going to let her abuse her win. And she's not going to let what happened to her as a

18:41child define

18:42her. It was almost my way of letting Sharon rest and saying that it's okay. I find myself so kind

18:50of youthful. I don't think I had a childhood. I believe I was robbed of my childhood. Do I have

18:55mental illness from what happened? I suffer from major depression disorder, severe anxiety. I get

19:01really, really anxious post-traumatic stress disorder from the things that I had endured that kind of

19:06spilled over into my parenting because I'm kind of a helicopter mom. I'm worried. I don't really let my

19:12kids go spend the night anywhere. I definitely would never let them walk to or from school.

19:17And part of that is sad, you know, and it's kind of like, maybe I should let them experience life.

19:21But then the other part of me is just like, I know how cruel and evil this world can be.

19:26And I don't ever want my children to experience that. I don't think anybody's children should

19:31experience that, but I'm, I'm strong now. I want to say that I'm strong. It still kind of hurts me

19:37deep inside of me there. Little Sharon is still there. You know, I don't think that she ever was

19:42heard. I think doing this is giving me, giving her a voice and letting her speak because I've never

19:48spoke about this publicly. I live with a lot of guilt because I wondered if my dad had ever did

19:53this to any of my other siblings that he had had, you know, after me. And I don't know if

19:58I'll ever know

19:58that truth. I know I'm not his only victim, but that's their story to tell. I'm still a work in

20:03progress. When I had alerted a counselor at school and told them what was going on,

20:09he was notified of what was going on. And he spoke to me on the phone and said,

20:16if you believe I did these things to you, then by all means do whatever it is you feel like

20:23you need

20:23to do. You're living in a fantasy world. Nobody is going to believe you. I'm a grown man. If you

20:30think

20:30that this happened, it was almost like he was gaslighting me. And I remember before I hung up

20:37the phone, I knew like he, it pissed me off that he was saying this to me. Because again, I'm

20:44going,

20:44how dare you do that? You know what I'm saying? Like I went back to that moment when he had

20:49tried

20:49to discipline me and I'm like, what? I said, let me make this clear to you, Gilbert. I don't

20:55believe these things happened to me. These things did happen to me. I lived them and you're sick.

21:02And I hope that you get help. I said, one thing for sure, you will never ever see me again.

21:09And I

21:10hung up that phone on him and that was it. That was the end of it. He never got in

21:14trouble for what

21:14he did to me. He, I know he ran. I don't know if child protective services really made that much

21:20of

21:20an effort since he didn't live in the same state that the abuse initiated out or whatever. I don't

21:26know. I always say I fell through the cracks of child protective services, but you know,

21:31it is what it is. Nothing we can do to change it now. I wanted to do this because if

21:37by chance,

21:37there are some other little Sharons out there that are watching this, I hope that they find their voice.

21:44Just find your voice and just know that your life doesn't have to be that way. I know it can

21:51be

21:51scary because you don't know what will happen if you choose to use your voice, but find your voice,

21:58use your voice because you deserve the best life possible. You deserve to be heard and love,

22:05and you don't deserve to be hurt, especially not by the people who are supposed to protect you.

22:11I kind of feel like part of my success story is that when I came, you know, when I came

22:17back from

22:17Michigan, I did get pregnant at a very young age. I was 14 when I had my oldest son. Then

22:23I had my

22:24second son at 16. So I had two children, no family support. So, so to speak, I did it on

22:31my own. I was

22:32able to go out and sometimes work two and three jobs and make a way to take care of my

22:37children. I was

22:38very fortunate that I met a wonderful woman who chose me and she chose to love me and to adopt

22:47me

22:47and bring me into her family unit. So I was very blessed for that. I did have her and my

22:52godmother

22:52on September 2021, September 19th, which is my oldest son's birthday. I was planning for my son's birthday

23:00party. I was making reservations on the phone when I was told that he had been tragically killed in a

23:06work

23:06related accident. And I think if I hold any resentment, I want to know why my dad can still

23:13walk this earth. The boat was taken. I think that I'm still not over that. I don't understand

23:21why such an amazing person was taken for me, but an evil man is still walking around living his best

23:28life.

23:31It's not fair. So despite everything that I was going through, you know, I was able to overcome

23:38and just push through. My kids saved me. I believe it without a shadow of a doubt.

23:43And I believe that, you know, if I can do it, I think that anybody can do it.

23:48You know, if you build up your mouth, your eyes, it's absolutely right.

23:51You can do it.

23:52I do it.

23:52So you know,

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