00:00I wasn't allowed to have ice cream because I was too fat. I wanted to commit
00:03since I was 11 years old because I was put on a diet when I was 10. I had a
00:09dog
00:09for a while. My parents took him. My mother also made me pay for tuition,
00:15uniforms, bus tickets, and books from the time I was eight years old right away
00:19through college. I paid for everything myself. The good news is we had music at
00:24home. Everybody could sing, everybody could play an instrument to a certain
00:28degree. I ended up in the Miss America pageant in 1972. I was Miss Vermont 1972.
00:35I did not want to be there, but my mother didn't care. She signed me up the year
00:40before when I weighed 175 pounds. The pageant people said, oh, if you lose the
00:46weight, you'll win next year. So I did and I won. The art has saved me. The music has
00:51saved me. The writing has saved me. So I had a very close connection with them
00:57until finally a couple of years ago. I went, oh my God, I don't have to take
01:02this anymore. It took me 72 years to understand that I did not need to be
01:08treated this way anymore. I have been unable to keep a relationship. I think
01:15I'm terrified somebody is going to get to know me. I mean, I have students that I'm
01:19fairly close to, but people stay away. I have been alone and living alone my whole life.
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