She Had To Escape From A Remote Location

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories, we have the privilege of listening to Sharonda Grandberry as she bravely shares her personal journey with us. Sharonda recounts an incident from her adolescence when, at the age of 13, she found herself in a vulnerable situation that no one should ever have to endure. She describes how this traumatic experience had a profound impact on her life, causing her to grapple with triggers and painful memories for many years.   Despite the challenges she faced, Sharonda's story is one of resilience and growth. Through her own path to healing, she has gained valuable insights that she now shares with others who may be struggling with their own difficult experiences. Sharonda's message is one of hope and empowerment, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and the power of letting go. Join us as we listen to Sharonda's courageous story and reflect on the strength of the human spirit. #UnfilteredStories #SurvivorStories   Follow Sharonda on social media  FB: https://www.facebook.com/pinkthronestyles/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/foreverfashion24_8/  LN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pink-throne-styles-1b7a9612b/   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Sharonda Granberry and I was by four guys that I thought were my friend when I was

00:06a

00:06teenager. So it was one summer. I always go stay with my grandmother. I lived in Georgia with my

00:12mom and my stepfather, the tyrant. And my sister and I and my little brother, I'm the oldest,

00:18we would always go stay with my grandmother and do summer activities. So one day we wanted to go to

00:23the swimming pool. I went to the swimming pool and I had my little sister, my little brother,

00:29and my cousin at the time with me. And we were having a good time. And I saw some neighborhood

00:34boys that I thought were cute. I really thought they were cute. And I knew them, you know,

00:39they were friendly, friendly guys. And I didn't have a reason to fear them. I didn't have a reason to

00:44be afraid to talk to them. And I was asked by one of the guys. I mean, at the time,

00:49I didn't think

00:50nothing of it. They said, hey, let's go to the store. And I'm like, okay, sure. As long as we

00:55come back, you know, to get my cousin and my sister and my brother, I don't mind going to the

00:59store. So I rolled to the store with them. And I thought we were just going to the store or

01:03we

01:03were going to the area and just come back. Well, they got alcohol while we were there. And I didn't

01:09think I was going to partake in drinking some alcohol with them. I just was in the car with

01:14them. I thought it was cool. I thought it was, they was like, come go with us. And I was

01:17just trying

01:18to be, I was trying to impress them because they were, one of them was cute. I thought one of

01:21them was

01:21cute. And I was 13 going on 14. And when I got in the car, they get like a pair,

01:27you know,

01:28I bet you won't drink. I bet you won't, you know, do this. I'm like, it's not going to hurt

01:31anything.

01:32We're going right back. And in my mind, because this was high, high in the afternoon time when we

01:37went. So in my mind, I thought, oh, we'll run over there. We'll go do what we got to do.

01:42And then

01:43we'll come right back. That didn't happen. So I did take the drink. And by the time I realized that

01:49we were going farther and farther away from the swimming area, the swimming pool,

01:53that's when I knew something was not right. And so we pulled up to this abandoned home.

01:58By that time, the little alcohol that I had drunk kind of kicked in. I mean, I'm young. I never

02:02had

02:03that experience. And so we went to the store. They either got the alcohol at the store or either had

02:08the alcohol in the car. That's the part that's kind of heavy. But I know we went to the store

02:12and

02:12they had the alcohol. So most of them were my age. I know that the oldest one is about maybe

02:18seven, six to seven years older than me. I forgot when I added the neighborhood boys,

02:22only three of the guys out of the four, I knew one of them. I didn't even know. And so,

02:26but I didn't feel any fear. I didn't feel any, you know, danger. I think I was in the car

02:31for about,

02:33I don't know. It had to be about 30 minutes. When we arrived to the house, I wasn't sure what

02:37was

02:38happening because like I said, the alcohol had started kind of taking up sex. And I'm like,

02:42okay, what's going on? What's about to transpire? And I get nervous. I get a little scared at that

02:47point because I'm like, they're just saying, hey, we got to make a stop. We're going to make a stop.

02:52And I'm thinking, okay, we're making a stop. And you know, what's going on? And so we go into the

02:57house and that's when the sexual stuff started. I'm trying to get them off me. I'm trying to fight

03:05by myself. And the older guys just standing there as the younger ones attack or force themselves on

03:11me. One of them tried to have me suck his pee. And I tried to bite. I tried to bite.

03:17I was still

03:18struggling. And I guess they didn't want me to struggle and struggle and all that stuff. And

03:21alcohol had started to kick in. And they took me into the room. And this room, it was very dark.

03:27I remember the walls looking orange and it was just a mattress with no sheet, no cover. It was a

03:34dirty mattress. It looked really, really good. And so at that time, all of the struggle and all of

03:40the fight and everything that I had within me, because I'm still trying to fight them off. I

03:44couldn't fight any longer. And so I just stopped fighting and I just laid there and I just let

03:50tears roll down my eyes. And each one of them proceeded to come in moment after moment after

03:56moment. And I remember saying, please put on a condom because I was so scared. I was scared of

04:03STDs. I was scared of getting pregnant. I was coherent, but I was going back and forth,

04:09you know, even with the under the influence, I was going back and forth. So each one of them got

04:13on top and he did their thing. And the last one, I remember the last one I didn't to this

04:18day,

04:19I do not know who he is. And he, I don't think he used any, like he just, he went

04:25in and just,

04:26just, he just kept me. So I don't know how long it happened. I do know it was like two

04:32in the afternoon or maybe one, one is two ish. And I didn't get home. It's like nine. So they

04:39did

04:40whatever they wanted to do all day, basically. And when it was over, I remember, um, one of the

04:47guys taking me to my grandmother's house and getting me out of the car and walking me up to

04:52my grandmother's house. At that time, I had on somebody's shirt. I didn't know where my underwear

04:56were. And I had on a pair of pants that didn't belong to me. And when I got to my

05:01grandmother's

05:01house, she came to the door and she said, where have you been? Where have you been? And she was

05:06screaming. And I remember saying, grandmama, I'm sorry, grandma, I'm sorry. And so I walked down into

05:13the little, we have like a little den area and there was cement stairs there. And I laid on the

05:20cement stairs and I cried in the fetal position because by then, you know, the influence had

05:25wore out. And by then my body felt what had happened. And I didn't know exactly what to do

05:31or who to tell or where to go. Or was it my fault? Because I, I, I got in the

05:37car. I blamed

05:38myself for a lot of years. I called my, my best friend the next day and I tried to tell

05:44her and I

05:44was very scared. And I was very worried that what if, what if I contracted the STD? What

05:50if I'm pregnant? And she talked to me and I told her and I said, I don't know who to

05:54tell. And so I ran and I got the phone book. We had phone books at that time. And I

05:59looked

05:59up the crisis center and I was going to call the services crisis center because I just didn't

06:05know. And my mom and I didn't have a good relationship when I was younger because of the

06:10things that she went through. And so we didn't have a relationship, but my best friend, she said,

06:15uh, you're going to have to tell your mom. And I said, I can't tell my mom. I'm afraid to

06:19tell my

06:19mom. So she convinced me to tell my mom. And when I told my mom, my mom response was that

06:26is what

06:27your fast get. So from that moment on, I locked everything up, everything that has ever happened

06:36to me. Because if my mother could say something like this, there's no way no one in this world

06:41could possibly care for anything that happened to me. When I joined the military, um, I ran into one

06:47of them. He was walking in the neighborhood. And at that time, I'm 18, almost 19 years old. This was

06:52the first time that I've saw any of them, um, since the incident. And so, um, he's walking the

06:59neighborhood and I'm coming home from my first duty station. Um, he says, Hey, can I get a ride?

07:06And I have my car. And at that time, no one knew that I used to go in my grandmother's

07:12trunk

07:12and I would carry her little 22 pistol with me when I came home. Because what has transpired in

07:19my life caused a, a, a seed of fear. I would always think that I, you know, had to have

07:24protection

07:24where I need to be protected. And so he came over to the car and I said, sure, where do

07:29you need to

07:30go? And I am shaking inside because I'm like, he didn't even address what happened or he didn't say

07:36anything to what happened. He walks over to the car and he gets in and I have that little 22

07:41and he

07:42didn't know I had it because I keep, I kept it on this driver's side next to the door panel,

07:47that little

07:47spot there, I would have my left hand on it. And so he gets in the car and in my

07:52mind, I'm thinking,

07:53if he reaches over here and touches me, I'm going to blow his brain. I'm driving with one

07:59hand, I'm driving with my right hand and he's sitting in the car and just talking and just

08:03talking. We get to the location and still sitting, I wouldn't, I wasn't going to get out the car.

08:08And he says, Hey, can you get out the car? And I'm like, okay, this is testing me, but it

08:12was a

08:12well-lit area. And so because it was a well-lit area, I was okay with getting out the car.

08:17And I got

08:18out the car, got to the back of the car and he looked at me and he said, Sharonda, what

08:24happened

08:24to you should not have ever happened. You are too nice of a person. You are too kind of a

08:28person

08:29for that to ever happen to you. I said, thank you and shook his hand. And when I got in

08:34my car,

08:34I clutched the steering wheel so hard and screamed so loud and shook it so bad that I thought I

08:41could

08:41have took it off the car. And so I've been just working for that. And now I just desire to

08:47share

08:47my story so that people will know it's not your fault. This incident is taking me in my teen years.

08:54I don't even think I had two years. It feels like I had to become this mature person really fast.

09:01I didn't share, but behind this, at 16, I was kicked out of my parents' home. On the streets,

09:10per se, for a short period of time, because I had already been signed over to the military by my

09:15mom at 16, I didn't have a team. I mean, I had memories in high school, but this particular event

09:22affected it because I had to suppress. I had to suppress it. I had to hide it. I had to

09:28cover it

09:28up. I had literally had to act like it didn't happen. My father had committed suicide when I was

09:33five years old. And so my mother remarried when I was 13 years old to my stepfather, who she

09:40has divorced since. I didn't have a relationship, a strong relationship with my mother growing

09:45because of her pain. And what she revealed to me just a year ago was that she went out on

09:52a date

09:52with my father and they had an interaction. The interaction was not warranted on her behalf,

09:58but it happened and I was conceived. And then they later got married. And so she said she resented

10:05me because of that in a way, because when I came about, my father showed me love. He absolutely

10:12loved me and the love that he showed to me, but not to her. She said she was very resentful

10:18of most

10:19children look to their mother for guidance and protection and affection and wisdom. I sought that

10:26and I found restitution in my grandmother. I believe I'm the woman I am today because of my grandmother.

10:32Um, to say that I had a relationship with my parents at all growing up, it's, it's just like

10:38the cliche saying, uh, hurt people, hurt people. Um, my relationship with my siblings. When I graduated,

10:44the day I graduated, I met my half sister on my father's side for the first time in my life.

10:49And

10:49I have a relationship with her. My sister that grew up in the hall with me, I have a relationship

10:55with

10:55her. And then I have a baby brother that my mom had by before she got married. And I have

11:00a

11:00relationship with him. You know, we, it's typical civil things. We, we may argue here and there,

11:05but it's not strange at all. And I'm, and, um, prior to, I want to say age, or right at

11:12age 30,

11:13I, I healed and I started making a relationship with my mom. And so now today we have a great

11:19relationship. The relationship with my mother now is because, um, I went from a broken child to,

11:25you know, a woman that wasn't healing. And it's only because I, I went through the therapy. I began

11:31to talk to my mother and she began to reveal to me of the broken pieces of herself as well.

11:37She was just in a dark place and the things that were done to her, my children helped kind of

11:42me

11:42in that relationship. Because if I had not had my children, I would not have, you know, had to ask

11:48my

11:48mother because I was still in the middle. My twin daughters were eight months old when I had to send

11:53them to her and ask her to watch them while I took care of military stuff for her. And so

11:57they

11:57got to bond with her. And so having the twins there and then me and my mother interacting and

12:03for a long time, when I would go home, me and her would get into all our arguments, like full

12:09blown.

12:10We were at each for a long time. And then eventually we both kind of just started our own healing

12:16journey

12:16and, um, were able to grow in that. And I will attribute to my children, her keeping my children

12:22and the love that she showed. She's a different woman to my children than she ever was to me.

12:28And so seeing her love and nurture on, you know, kind of, and she's very protective of them,

12:33kind of made me say, okay, take a moment and see your mother. That day, I don't remember,

12:38I don't know if my grandmother really found out what happened before she died. My grandmother

12:43knew something was wrong, but she could not put her finger on it. I may have told her,

12:48but my grandma was such an angel that if you tell her something, she's not going to condemn you.

12:53She's not going to hold it against you. And she's not going to make you feel like it was your

12:58fault.

12:59And so, cause before a long time, I felt like it was my fault. It was my fault that I

13:03got,

13:04here you have this child. Cause I, like I said, I went into the military when I was 17 going

13:09to 18.

13:10And so I tried to explore the world and get away from everything that happened and just learn new

13:15things. And so I got married really, really young. So I got married when I was 21. I got pregnant

13:21around the same time. So the marriage and the, and the pregnancy happened around the same time.

13:26And so I remember one episode, I got stationed in German and I don't know, I was, you know,

13:31young, young marriages, you go through things. And so, uh, one night, um, I was laying in the bed

13:39and I was just having a moment and we had had an argument. And so I had the moment and

13:45he didn't

13:47know what was going on with me and he didn't know he had triggered me. It was something he said,

13:52I believe we're done. I can't remember, but he triggered me and he triggered me. That's when I

13:56began to shake him and screaming. And that's when I revealed to him and he had to make me realize

14:02wasn't his fault. And I had to understand that. And so, but on in the military, I was very cautious

14:07around men. I was very careful around men and I didn't ever place myself in situations that could

14:14be compromising or that I couldn't get out of. And I always carried some sort of a weapon to

14:20protect me. I'm still learning to deal with triggers. And so now I, I take a deep breath and

14:26I say, I'm not what happened to me. And I have to let it go. Understanding that it's okay to

14:32seal the

14:32emotion, but don't have the outburst. I would have outbursts or I'll be real, real angry.

14:37And no one would know why, because I felt like I couldn't talk to anybody. And so therapy,

14:43meditation, and prayer has really helped me heal through the triggers and to understand,

14:48okay, Sharonda, you're getting triggered now. So now I can internally, you know, talk to myself,

14:53try to calm down and say, this isn't, this isn't a reflection on you. This is, this is just what's

14:58going on right now. Take a moment and breathe and don't get so upset about it. Carrying something so

15:03traumatic at a young age and having to hide it and having to not openly talk about it and still

15:11having to put on a smile in front of the world has affected my relationships. Some in a positive way

15:18and some in a negative way. Because I believe people are drawn to each other. Sometimes I would

15:24get people that have been through the same thing that I've been through. And sometimes we can work

15:30through there. But sometimes there's people that, you know, don't think like me and don't want to do

15:36the work or do not want to heal or, you know, however you say it. It's caused some good relationships

15:42to end, I think. Most of my relationships have gone really well, but some they didn't go so well.

15:48All of my children have graduated high school. All of them are in the August will be attending college.

15:54My twin daughters, they decided to, you know, follow their own path and do their own thing.

16:00And they're playing catch up, I say. But I love them. And they're more on the entrepreneurial side.

16:07So I just give them, I give them grace. They didn't have the traumatic childhood. So I get it. And

16:14I

16:14understand. I was always trying to chase an achievement to make up for the things that I,

16:19you know, didn't have as a child. But my son just recently graduated and he's going to start college

16:24in August. And one of my daughters has a two-year-old, my two-year-old grandson. I'm, I'm excited.

16:31I'm excited. Life is good. Life is good. I'm finally being able to open up, being able to talk,

16:38being able to tell my story. So I have a image consulting firm and it is called Pink. That's my

16:45favorite color, Pink Throne Styles. Throne is from, I believe that we are king and queens. And so

16:53Pink Throne Styles is the name of my business. And I love helping women. And then I do men as

16:59well.

16:59I love helping women believe in themselves, not only from the outside, but on the inside as well.

17:06So I give them affirmations, depending on the client. I try to get the feel for the client. I give

17:15them and help just a beautiful look on the outside. But if you work with me, we're not just going

17:21to

17:21deal with the outside. We're going to deal with the inside too. My advice would be to let it go.

17:26If you can find strength, it was not your fault. The incident was not your fault. The incident happened,

17:32but it's not who you are. We go through these things so that we could tell our story, share our

17:38story. And no matter how painful our story is, it's to heal and to help other people.

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