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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:02That maniac was serving a life sentence.
00:05Hello, ladies.
00:06Paul Young came back.
00:08Doug is leaving me.
00:09Lynette's friend had nowhere to go.
00:11I've spent eight years loving someone else's daughter.
00:14A baby was switched long ago, and Carlos made a decision.
00:18We're not telling Gabby.
00:19Susan got a job offer.
00:21Women doing housework and lingerie.
00:23While Bree's contractor
00:24With your red hair, you will look so hot in this room.
00:27Brought possibilities to light.
00:34All set.
00:36Now that you're a biker chick,
00:37There's one other thing you gotta know how to do.
00:42Thanks, mister.
00:49It had been a long time since Bree Vandekamp was a little girl.
00:55But she could still remember everything she'd ever been told
00:59About sex.
01:01Her grandmother informed her it was a woman's burden.
01:06Her minister warned her it was a sin.
01:11Her teacher taught her it was unhealthy.
01:14Yes, everyone had told Bree her sexual urges were dangerous.
01:21But no one had ever told her how to get rid of them.
01:27Hey, there you are.
01:30I'm off to the bank.
01:31Before you go, I want to show you something.
01:33Come here.
01:34Whole new idea.
01:36I want to panel the study in this.
01:38Oh, well, that's unusual.
01:41Historical birch from a Wyoming snow fence over 200 years old.
01:44Feel it.
01:45No, really.
01:47Feel it.
01:49You know what they call this?
01:52Witness wood.
01:53Because it's seen so much history.
01:55Unlike me, who slept through history and had to go to summer school.
02:09Yes, when Bree was a little girl, she'd been taught her sexual urges were dangerous.
02:17Unfortunately, she was about to learn.
02:22Those urges were dangerous for everyone.
02:41The doctors and nurses at Fairview Hospital are experts at healing.
02:47They can set bones, bandage wounds, and treat diseases.
02:57Sadly, one thing they don't know how to heal is a guilty conscience.
03:02I don't know what happened.
03:03She just came out of nowhere.
03:05Oh, honey, this could have been any of us.
03:07Kids on that street are always playing where they shouldn't be.
03:09Still, I would just feel better if they would come out and tell us something.
03:12Well, Anita was talking when they put her in the ambulance, so I'm sure everything's going to be fine.
03:16And I just spoke to one of the nurses.
03:17She seemed pretty positive.
03:18Well, that's a relief.
03:21Paul?
03:23What are you doing here?
03:24I heard about the accident, so I rushed right over.
03:27That's what neighbors do, right?
03:29Well, that's very thoughtful.
03:32We'll tell Gabby you stop by.
03:34Yeah, don't feel like you have to hang around.
03:36There's nothing we can do.
03:39We can pray.
03:52Dear Lord, we ask that you be with this young child and with the doctors caring for her,
03:56that she may be returned in full health to her loving family.
04:00Amen.
04:02Amen.
04:04Well, I have to get home.
04:05I'm expecting someone.
04:06So, please extend my good wishes to Gabby.
04:12Dear Lord, please don't let that creep ever touch me again.
04:16Amen.
04:19Oh, Gabby, thank God.
04:20How is Juanita?
04:22She's going to be fine.
04:23They're keeping her a couple days for observation.
04:26So, I told Carlos he doesn't even have to fly back from his business trip.
04:29That's great news.
04:30Yeah, it is.
04:32Uh, Bree.
04:33Andrew, can I talk to you for a second?
04:38Thanks for coming.
04:40I feel so blessed to have such wonderful...
04:42What the hell is wrong with you people?
04:44First you take out my mother-in-law, then you go after my daughter.
04:47Are you trying to kill off every Juanita Solis on the planet?
04:49I admit, it was a terrible coincidence.
04:51You're getting sloppy, you know.
04:52This one was in broad daylight.
04:53I'm sorry.
04:54She just came out of nowhere.
04:55Have you seen my daughter?
04:57She never comes out of nowhere.
04:59On a related note, I just want to say how much I appreciate you not telling Carlos about me running
05:03over his mom.
05:04I'm going to give you that one, because I wasn't fond of her.
05:06But as for the rest of my family, learn to swerve!
05:11Why does this keep happening?
05:13I don't know.
05:15I mean, maybe God's punishing us.
05:17Or God is punishing the Solises, and we're just doing God's work.
05:22I feel awful.
05:23I should never have been fiddling with that radio.
05:26Radio?
05:27Mom, I saw you from across the street.
05:29You were checking out Keith's ass.
05:30That's preposterous.
05:31You were looking at that contractor's butt like you were waiting for a side of steak sauce.
05:35Watch your mouth.
05:36This isn't one of your homosexual dance clubs.
05:38I'm telling you, it was the radio.
05:40Okay, fine.
05:41But while we're talking about the radio, you do know that that particular model is like 15 years too young
05:47for you, right?
06:06Who is it?
06:08Maxine.
06:09Oh!
06:10Oh, hang on a second.
06:14I was just wrapping up my first session.
06:16I know.
06:18I was watching.
06:19And?
06:22What'd you think?
06:23It was like watching a dream.
06:24And you know why?
06:26Because I was asleep.
06:28Sit down, honey.
06:29It's time I gave you a few pointers.
06:36Now, you see what I'm doing here?
06:40Oh!
06:43And let's not forget the duster.
06:51Okay, okay.
06:52I get it.
06:54And what have we here?
06:57Smudges.
07:01We eat off that table.
07:03Am I making my point?
07:05We are selling a fantasy here.
07:08You gotta, you know, loosen up.
07:10I want to.
07:11I just...
07:13I can't stop thinking about all those men out there watching me.
07:18Yes, they're watching you.
07:20They are spending their hard-earned dollars to see the perfect woman.
07:25You, my darling, have all the power here.
07:33Now, is that a crumb I see on that rug?
07:47Doug.
07:51That's it.
07:53That's my girl.
07:54Whew!
07:56Doug, if your lawyers don't sweeten the settlement offer, I will sue you for half of everything.
08:00And that includes your girlfriend's new implants.
08:03You pay for them out of our joint account, so technically one of those puppies is mine.
08:07Oh, I don't know, maybe throw it in the pool and use it as a floatie?
08:10Uh, Renee.
08:12Oh, she's gonna be dating soon enough.
08:14It's time she learned what men are all about.
08:17Now, sweetie, what did Aunt you Renee teach you about marriage?
08:21Never sign a prenup.
08:22Oh, jeez.
08:25Hey!
08:26What are you doing home from work?
08:28I'm not feeling well.
08:30Again?
08:31That's the third time this week.
08:34You need to go to the doctor.
08:35No, I'm fine.
08:36I'm just gonna lie on the couch and watch some TV.
08:38Okay.
08:40Oh!
08:41Before you fire up the golf channel, you think maybe you could make a quick run to the grocery store?
08:46I'm tired.
08:46Can't you do it?
08:48I'm a little busy right now.
08:49I've got five kids and a useless houseguest.
08:52Hi there.
08:54I need you functional.
08:56Either go to the doctor and get some help or quit complaining and give me some help.
09:00Fine, I'll go tomorrow.
09:02Man, the sympathy in here is just overwhelming.
09:08What?
09:09Nothing.
09:10It's none of my business.
09:13But you may want to be careful.
09:15You two are starting to sound a lot like me and Doug.
09:17I appreciate the concern, but Tom and I always do that.
09:21Doug and I always did that, too.
09:23Look at us now.
09:24I'm telling you we're fine.
09:29If you say so.
09:34The doctors say she's gonna be fine.
09:36They're only keeping her in the hospital as a precaution.
09:38She'll be home in a few days.
09:39Thank God.
09:41Well, look who's here.
09:42Can we please not have another ugly scene?
09:45I only came to check on Juanita.
09:46She's fine.
09:47Fantastic.
09:48So I see you let our tomato plants wither.
09:50Just like you did our relationship.
09:52Well, that's what happens when you grow needy, whiny tomatoes.
09:55Boys, boys, it's been a month.
09:57Can't we just kiss each other's bottoms and make up?
10:01Isn't that what they do?
10:05Who's that?
10:08She looks lost.
10:12Should we help her?
10:14Son of a bitch!
10:16We should help her.
10:17Son of a...
10:18Oh, oh.
10:22Miss, is everything okay?
10:24No.
10:25I am so lost.
10:29I gave the cab driver the address.
10:32But I only had a 20.
10:33And it turns out that only gets you as far as Hibiscus Circle.
10:35So he dumped me not to walk in these shoes, which broke.
10:38And that is the last time I am buying footwear over the Internet.
10:41Were you looking for Wisteria Lane?
10:43Yeah, that sounds right.
10:45Is my fish moving?
10:46If he goes belly up, this is going to be the worst day ever.
10:49Who is it you're here to see?
10:51Paul Young.
10:53Really?
10:54Are you a friend of his?
10:57Well...
10:57Beth!
11:00I thought you were going to be here hours ago.
11:04Well, I see you've all met my wife.
11:19Sorry, it got really hot in here and I thought you'd be gone for a while.
11:23So, how's Juanita?
11:25Is she okay?
11:27Um, she's doing much better.
11:29Thank you for asking.
11:30Thank God.
11:32How are you doing?
11:33Um, yeah, I'm okay.
11:36How's the work coming?
11:37Pretty good.
11:38Just getting ready to put, uh...
11:41Shoot.
11:42It's going backwards.
11:47Brie?
11:50You sure you're okay?
11:51I'm fine, fine.
11:52It's just been a very stressful day.
11:57I think I know what you need.
11:59I think I know what you need.
12:04It's okay.
12:05Hitting that little girl was an accident.
12:07It could have happened to anyone.
12:10I have to let you go.
12:12Huh?
12:13After you let me go.
12:14Everyone should just let go.
12:19Are you firing me?
12:21Why?
12:22You're too messy.
12:24Your tools, they're scattered everywhere.
12:26Well, this is a construction site.
12:27And you're getting paint all over the place.
12:30And that cologne of yours, it's overpowering.
12:32I don't wear cologne.
12:33That's just you?
12:36Dear.
12:38Anyway, obviously...
12:40I will pay you for the time you put in,
12:41but I think you should go.
12:42You can send me a check.
12:52Bye, guys.
12:54Have a great day.
12:56Aren't you going to work?
12:57Oh, my first class is until 11.
12:59I thought I'd spend the morning making more joy.
13:02Well, you really are determined to bring in some extra money.
13:05You have no idea.
13:28And you don't let me put my feet on that table.
13:30Mike?
13:31What are you doing home so quick?
13:33I forgot my thermos.
13:35What are you wearing?
13:35Uh, I was just doing housework.
13:40Obviously.
13:41And the air conditioning isn't working,
13:43so it got really hot in here.
13:47I'll say.
13:49Mind if I join you?
13:50No, no.
13:51Uh, oh, oh, uh, you know what?
13:54Why don't we take this in the bedroom?
13:56Why don't we take this in the bedroom?
13:56What's wrong with you right here?
13:58I'm one lucky guy.
14:01I come home to a hot fantasy like this.
14:04Yep.
14:05And I am one lucky girl to have a husband like you.
14:13You.
14:21Any luck finding an apartment?
14:23Not with my settlement.
14:24With New York prices, I'll be forced to live in a place smaller than this.
14:27Oh, my God.
14:28How will you keep from bumping into yourself?
14:32You know what I was thinking?
14:33Why don't I just find a place here in Fairview?
14:38Fairview?
14:39Uh, no.
14:41No, no, no, you're a New Yorker.
14:44You love the theater, museums.
14:46You said yourself you can't even get a decent cup of coffee around here.
14:49Uh, no, I meant here, Lynette.
14:51Really, how hard is it to clean the pot?
14:56Hey!
14:58How'd it go with the doctor?
15:00Yeah, can, uh, we, um, talk about that?
15:05So, what did the doctor say?
15:07You're gonna want to sit down.
15:10Tom, you are scaring me.
15:11What is it?
15:14I have postpartum depression.
15:19Come again?
15:21I know, it sounds weird, but it's a recognized problem for fathers my age.
15:26I've got all the classic symptoms.
15:29Headaches, mood swings, fatigue.
15:32Wow.
15:33Tell me, did he check you for a yeast infection while he was down there, too?
15:39Why don't you learn the facts before you make fun of it?
15:43Men and postpartum, the bitter seed.
15:47Yeah, I'm not buying it.
15:50Show me one stretch mark, one chap nipple, and we'll talk about your postpartum.
15:54It's a legitimate medical condition, and you're the one who told me to go to the doctor.
15:58So you could be of some use around here, not so you could, uh, oh, take long baths or get
16:03in some extra naps?
16:05Do me a favor.
16:06Read the whole pamphlet.
16:08Gosh, I wish I could, Tom.
16:10Unfortunately, I have to go take care of my other baby.
16:39I love the house.
16:41Oh, well, I did the best I could.
16:44I think it needs a woman's touch.
16:46Oh, I don't have much experience with decorating.
16:50If I so much as moved a chair, Mama would throw a fit.
16:54Then you must be happy to finally have your own home.
16:57I guess.
17:02Look at this.
17:04No plexiglass.
17:05I never dreamed the day would come when I could reach out and touch you.
17:12I didn't either.
17:17There is one thing I'll miss about prison.
17:19Your letters.
17:21Some days, they were the only things keeping me going.
17:24I'm glad you liked them.
17:27Thank you, again, for going to so much trouble.
17:30Dinner is wonderful.
17:31I want it tonight to be special.
17:33Since the prison didn't allow conjugal visits, this is kind of our wedding night.
17:39About that, I can't wait to start cooking for you and making things nice around here.
17:46But there are certain other wifely duties that I don't want to rush into.
17:54Oh?
17:56We're still getting to know each other.
17:58Mama said you'd understand.
18:02Oh, I suppose I do.
18:04You're not upset?
18:06Of course not.
18:08There's more to marriage than sex.
18:16Oh, Mrs. Solis, can I talk to you?
18:20If this is about Juanita and the dessert cart, I told you not to leave it unattended.
18:24No, I was reviewing her chart, and I realized we still had a couple of questions.
18:28Is she allergic to any medications?
18:30Uh, not that I'm aware of.
18:31Okay.
18:32All her vaccinations up to date?
18:33Yes.
18:33And how old was she when you adopted her?
18:39I know it's hard to believe that the little acorn gave birth to the mighty oak.
18:43But believe me, I did.
18:46Okay.
18:47Maybe I'm confused.
18:48But the other day when we talked about possible blood transfusions, you told me you and your husband were type
18:53O.
18:54Yeah, we are.
18:55So?
18:57Well, your daughter is type A. Two O's can't have an A.
19:03Oh.
19:05Never mind.
19:09Whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:10What was that?
19:11What was that?
19:11Oh, never mind.
19:13It's none of my business.
19:15No, no.
19:15Tell me.
19:16What are you implying?
19:18Nothing.
19:18I'm simply stating that the odds of Mr. Solis being the biological father of a type A baby are roughly
19:24nil.
19:26Are you suggesting I cheated on him?
19:28I'm simply stating that the odds of Mr. Solis being the biological father of a...
19:31Listen, nursey.
19:32I know you spend your days emptying bedpans and shaving the groins of senior citizens, but there's no drama here.
19:37I've been faithful to my husband.
19:39I have nothing to hide.
19:48Give me that.
19:54Oh, good morning.
19:57Don't worry.
19:59Do you have trouble sleeping?
20:00I was up kind of late.
20:03Boy, that Tom sure can't talk.
20:08You're up with Tom?
20:09Huh?
20:10Oh, yeah.
20:12I guess he had a lot on his mind.
20:14No surprise after the way things went between you two yesterday.
20:18He was complaining about that?
20:20Oh, I don't want to get in the middle.
20:23Honey, you had a pajama party with my husband at three o'clock in the morning.
20:26You're in the middle.
20:28Well, Tom feels that you don't listen to him.
20:34I, I, sure I do.
20:36I heard that whole spiel about male postpartum, otherwise known by its initials, B.S.
20:40See, that's just the thing.
20:41He thinks you hear, but you don't listen.
20:44Okay.
20:45Okay, you stop.
20:48I don't need you troubleshooting my marriage,
20:50and I don't want you having any more of these little conversations with my husband.
20:53Okay, fine.
20:57And I mean it.
21:09There you are.
21:09I called you an hour ago.
21:11I was at school.
21:12Hi, sweetie.
21:13The kids in your class made you a poster.
21:16Look what Brittany said.
21:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:18She loves it.
21:18Come on.
21:19Come on.
21:24What is going on?
21:26Look.
21:27Do you remember eight years ago when we went on that ski weekend?
21:31Ah, vaguely.
21:33No, no, no, no, no.
21:33It can't be vaguely.
21:34I need you to focus.
21:35Oh.
21:36Okay.
21:37Okay.
21:38Remember how you and I had dinner with that French guy?
21:41The one you referred to as le package.
21:44Exactly.
21:45Okay.
21:46Tell me everything you remember.
21:49Ooh.
21:51I remember I had the fondue and I lost my strawberry,
21:53and the waiter almost caught me when I put my hand in.
21:55I'm talking about me and the package.
21:57Why are you yelling at me?
21:58Because I'm mad.
22:00You went off to bed and left me and Frenchie drinking at the hotel bar,
22:03and friends don't let friends flirt drunk.
22:04Now, for the love of God,
22:06do you at least remember when I came back to the room?
22:11I remember the sun was coming up.
22:13Oh, God.
22:15Gabby, you're not saying...
22:17Yeah.
22:18I think Juanita might be French.
22:21Wow.
22:24When Carlos returned from his business trip,
22:27he stopped at the hospital to visit his daughter,
22:30who had been sleeping peacefully.
22:33Then he came home to see his wife,
22:36who had been plotting frantically.
23:00Oh, you're awake.
23:02Mmm.
23:09You're really awake.
23:19Carlos, what are you doing?
23:20Me?
23:21I just got into bed.
23:22You climbed on top of me.
23:24I did?
23:25Yeah, you were kind of making out with me.
23:26Not that I'm complaining.
23:28Oh, no.
23:29It's happening again.
23:31What are you talking about?
23:34My sexsomnia.
23:36Your what?
23:38Yeah, it's like sleepwalking,
23:40except instead of using your legs,
23:42you use your, you know...
23:47Sexsomnia.
23:48It's real.
23:48Look it up.
23:49Since when have you had that?
23:52Well, definitely before the girls were born.
23:55I've never seen you do it before.
23:57Well, it mostly only happens when I'm really tired.
24:00Like when I work out too much.
24:02Or go skiing.
24:04Then first thing tomorrow,
24:05I'm checking out the airfare at Aspen.
24:07Oh, no, no, no, no.
24:08It's not a joke.
24:08It's dangerous.
24:09It doesn't matter who I'm next to.
24:11I could have sex and not have a new it.
24:13Wow.
24:16Well, since you're up...
24:17No, I'm too tired.
24:19And ashamed.
24:20Good night.
24:25Hey, I thought I'd return this.
24:27I borrowed it from Morrison a while back.
24:28Oh, thank you.
24:30So where's that Chappendale dancer
24:31you hired to fix your house?
24:33If you mean my contractor,
24:34his name is Keith,
24:35then I have to let him go.
24:37Why?
24:38You catch him grating cheese on his abs?
24:42Just wasn't working out.
24:45Must have been pretty bad
24:46for you to kick that shirtless wonder
24:47out of your front yard.
24:49I was finally reaching my target heart rate
24:51on my walk.
24:52You mean at your age?
24:54You still have urges?
24:55I'm not dead, Bree.
24:56I may like my bed and my food soft,
24:59but I like my men.
25:01Okay, okay.
25:01Just curious.
25:04I guess I was hoping...
25:07Hoping what?
25:09That one day I might outgrow all this.
25:12Ah, that's why you fired Keith.
25:14I just can't have him around.
25:15He's too distracting.
25:17And I refuse to make a fool of myself.
25:19And how would that happen?
25:21Well, let me run the numbers for you.
25:23My marriage ended six days ago.
25:25Keith is 15 years too young for me
25:27and my track record with lovers.
25:28Two dead, one in a wheelchair.
25:30Bree, I can't tell you how to live your life.
25:32All I know is that
25:34not living your life isn't the answer.
25:36I've just never been very good at taking risks.
25:39Well, then get good.
25:40Because, take my word for it,
25:42once they turn into regrets,
25:43it's too late.
25:52Okay.
25:54Hey.
25:56Don't feel like you have to help or anything.
25:59Cool.
26:00Oh, where's your dad?
26:02His car's gone.
26:03He and Renee went out to dinner.
26:06He and Renee?
26:07Yeah, they went to that French restaurant dad likes.
26:10They said you could join them if you want.
26:12Oh, I want.
26:14Okay, you unload these groceries
26:17and look after your sister.
26:20I've got plans tonight
26:21and I don't want to get stuck babysitting.
26:23Cool.
26:27Cool.
26:44Hey.
26:45Hey.
26:46Hey, good.
26:46You got the message.
26:47Loud and clear.
26:48So, you guys sure look like
26:50you're discussing something heavy.
26:53What's up?
26:56To be honest,
26:57I was talking about you
27:00and your tendency to be critical
27:03and how frustrating it is
27:04to have my feelings invalidated
27:05whenever I bring up something you don't like.
27:08Uh-huh.
27:11Renee, sidebar.
27:19Did I or did I not
27:21tell you to butt the hell out of my marriage?
27:23What did I do?
27:24I was just finishing my dessert
27:25and listening to the guy talk.
27:26How frustrating it is
27:27to have my feelings invalidated.
27:30That's got your $500 an hour shrink
27:32written all over it.
27:34I was just trying to help.
27:35That's a load of crap.
27:37You need a project
27:38and since you're currently
27:39without a house to remodel,
27:41you've decided to put
27:41the wrecking ball to my marriage.
27:44Please.
27:44This is what you do.
27:46You take other people's lives
27:47apart for your own amusement
27:49and then you get the fun
27:50of putting them back together.
27:51Well, I'm not letting you do it this time.
27:54My marriage
27:55is not some guest bathroom
27:58in your summer house.
28:01Fine.
28:01Let's just say that you're right
28:02and I'm a terrible person.
28:04But there's still a man in there
28:05who's in pain
28:06and his wife won't listen to him.
28:08That's not my doing.
28:10I think the sidebar is over.
28:27Hey, Susan.
28:28Hey.
28:30Oh, those are beautiful.
28:31What's the occasion?
28:33I called the bank
28:34to see if they would give us
28:36an extension on a car payment
28:37and the guy told me
28:38you already paid it.
28:40I had a good week
28:41with my jewelry.
28:43You're amazing.
28:44You teach,
28:45you bust your ass
28:47with this jewelry business
28:48and I come home yesterday
28:49and here you are
28:49as happy as can be
28:51working to make this place a home.
28:54I'm just so lucky
28:55to have a wife like you.
29:10Wow, there you go.
29:13That's quite a haul.
29:14You know, you're getting good at this.
29:16I didn't think that was going to happen.
29:18I'm also getting good
29:19at lying to my husband.
29:22I didn't think that
29:23was going to happen either.
29:41Hello, Keith.
29:45How'd you find me?
29:47Follow the scent
29:47of my non-existent cologne?
29:50No, your answering service
29:51said I might find you here.
29:56I was a little out of sorts
29:58the other day
29:59and, uh, well,
30:00long story short,
30:01I was hoping you'd consider
30:03coming back.
30:10I've got a buddy.
30:12Loves sports cars.
30:14I told him to buy
30:15a Pontiac GTO.
30:16They run great,
30:16they're easy to work on.
30:18But he bought a Maserati.
30:20The thing is always in the shop.
30:22Very temperamental,
30:23real pain in the ass.
30:27You seem like
30:29kind of a Maserati
30:30to me.
30:34I'm no Maserati, Keith.
30:36I'm a family sedan
30:38with a beige interior
30:39who's going through a divorce.
30:42Well, I'm sorry about that.
30:45But I'm still going to pass.
30:57I need you.
31:00You've seen my house.
31:01It's kind of a mess.
31:02And the truth is,
31:04my life's kind of a mess, too.
31:06And when you came in
31:07with all your energy
31:08and your wonderful ideas,
31:10I started feeling like
31:11maybe you were going to help me
31:12put it all back together.
31:17My house, not my life.
31:18I just want you to
31:19work on the house.
31:25Wow.
31:27I really do sound
31:28like a Maserati.
31:30Um,
31:33thanks for listening.
31:47Hey!
31:51Oh my God.
31:52Oh my God.
31:53Oh my God.
31:54Are you all right?
31:55I didn't see you there.
31:57You've got great legs.
31:58You ever consider just jogging
31:59from place to place?
32:01What are you doing
32:01behind my car?
32:02I thought about what you said.
32:07It'd be a shame
32:07if we didn't finish
32:08what we started.
32:10Are you sure?
32:12It's a big job,
32:13but the boss is kind of nutty.
32:15I love a challenge.
32:18Now can I get
32:19your insurance information?
32:29So,
32:30how are you doing?
32:33What's this?
32:34Genuine concern?
32:35Now asking if my breasts
32:37feel swollen
32:38or if it's a heavy flow day?
32:39I know.
32:40I was dismissive before
32:42and I want to apologize.
32:45I read the pamphlet
32:46and it actually made sense.
32:48Becoming a new dad
32:50at your age
32:50can be pretty scary.
32:52I mean,
32:52just looking at that little girl
32:54and knowing you might not
32:56be around for her wedding.
32:57Is this supposed
32:58to be helping me?
32:59I'm saying
33:00it's real
33:01and I get it.
33:03And now,
33:03in order to demonstrate
33:05that I'm a loving
33:05and caring wife,
33:06I have two options.
33:08One,
33:08we can have a long,
33:09sensitive conversation
33:10about your feelings.
33:11Or option two.
33:22As much as I
33:23like option two,
33:25I think tonight
33:27I want to talk.
33:32You got it.
33:40What's that?
33:41I got you
33:42a little something.
33:43Oh.
33:50Try it on.
33:55Paul,
33:56this isn't
33:57really my style.
33:59Let me be
33:59the judge of that.
34:01We talked about this.
34:03You said
34:03we could take it slow.
34:04It's been almost a week.
34:05Isn't that slow enough?
34:07Try it.
34:07Maybe it'll put you
34:08in the mood.
34:08It won't.
34:09Come on.
34:10Paul,
34:11no.
34:11How could you possibly
34:12think I would wear
34:13something like this?
34:24What are those?
34:25The letters
34:26you sent me in prison.
34:27Oh.
34:30Read this.
34:31Paul,
34:32please don't
34:32out loud.
34:36I long for you
34:37to kiss my neck,
34:38to whisper in my ear
34:39while you unbutton
34:40my blouse.
34:41Go on.
34:44And then
34:46make love to me
34:48all night long.
34:50Did you write these?
34:51It was a fantasy.
34:52I never thought
34:53it would be real.
34:54It is real.
34:55Paul,
34:55please.
34:55We're married now.
34:56What did you expect?
34:57I thought you would
34:57stay in prison.
35:02I didn't mean that.
35:04I'm sorry.
35:13It's not a surprise to me
35:15that you have some issues.
35:16I mean,
35:17you married a man
35:18in prison for murder.
35:20Clearly,
35:21you are a disturbed
35:21young woman.
35:24The good news is
35:25I'm willing to help you.
35:27All I ask in return
35:28is for a little affection.
35:31Do you think
35:31you can offer me that?
35:35I'll try.
35:37Good.
35:45I'm a patient man, Beth.
35:47But just so we're clear,
35:49I won't be patient forever.
36:05Don't worry,
36:06I cleaned the pot.
36:09The way things
36:10have been going lately,
36:11I'm not as worried
36:11about taste
36:12as I am poison.
36:13Look,
36:14what you did
36:14was borderline evil.
36:16But you were right
36:17to make me talk to Tom,
36:18so I thank you
36:20for being a good friend
36:21and don't
36:21ever do it again.
36:24You're welcome.
36:26You know,
36:27when I don't feel
36:28like killing you,
36:29I think I like
36:30having you around.
36:31Good to know
36:32since I just rented
36:33the most charming bungalow
36:35right here
36:35on Wisteria Lane.
36:38You're kidding.
36:40Edie's old house?
36:41Wow,
36:42that is so...
36:45wonderful?
36:46Close.
36:51I'm trying to
36:52calm the baby,
36:53but apparently
36:54I don't have
36:54the right equipment.
36:55Did you hear the big news?
36:57Renee is moving in
36:58just a stone's throw
36:58away from us.
37:00You do know
37:01that's just
37:02an expression,
37:02right?
37:03We'll see.
37:08You really think
37:09it's a good idea
37:10for you to move here?
37:11Of course.
37:12It'll be a nice,
37:13fresh start,
37:13plus I could be close
37:14to my dear friend.
37:16It's just,
37:18um...
37:20I want to be sure...
37:22Tom,
37:22that was a million
37:23years ago.
37:24It doesn't matter.
37:24She can never know
37:25what happened
37:26between us.
37:35Have you seen my wife?
37:36Yeah,
37:37she's in the cafeteria.
37:38Oh,
37:38while I've got you,
37:39could I have you
37:40sign these release forms?
37:42Then you'll be able
37:43to take Juanita home.
37:45What's this torn page
37:46on her chart?
37:47Let's just say
37:48your wife has a bit
37:49of a temper.
37:51What happened?
37:52Well,
37:53it's not really my place,
37:55but she did have
37:56a strong reaction
37:57when I told her
37:58your daughter's blood type.
38:03Gabby did this?
38:05I need you to tell me
38:06exactly what happened.
38:09Oh, crap.
38:11Gabby,
38:12come back here!
38:13It's not my fault
38:14I have a disorder!
38:14Gabby,
38:15we have to talk!
38:15Dammit!
38:17Gabby!
38:18See you in about
38:19two seconds.
38:21Okay,
38:22here's what happened.
38:23It was on that ski weekend
38:24eight years ago.
38:24I don't normally go
38:25for French guys,
38:25but you know how I get
38:26when I drink too much champagne?
38:28What?
38:29Well, I didn't think
38:29I slept with him,
38:30but I must have,
38:30because why else
38:31would our daughter
38:31have type A blood?
38:36You're not killing me.
38:37Why aren't you killing me?
38:40Baby,
38:41baby,
38:41come with me.
38:42There's something
38:43I have to tell you.
38:53There are certain kinds of pain
38:55that can't be treated
38:57in a hospital,
38:58so those who are suffering
39:00do what they can
39:02to heal themselves.
39:05Some cure the ache
39:07of loneliness
39:07by making new friends.
39:11Some soothe
39:13their excruciating guilt
39:14with an infusion of cash.
39:19Some alleviate
39:20their burning desire
39:21with small acts of kindness.
39:26But sadly,
39:28there will always be those
39:29who can't begin to heal.
39:33because they realize
39:34there is more pain
39:36yet to come.
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