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  • 1 day ago
This 5 Minute Drive-In edit of the 1972 cult insanity “The Thing With Two Heads” delivers pure 70s chaos: a racist surgeon, a death-row inmate, a double-headed escape, and one of the wildest chase scenes ever filmed. This is peak schlock cinema — outrageous, fast-paced, and impossible to forget.

Fans of MST3K, RiffTrax, Joe Bob Briggs, Elvira, and classic B-movie madness will love this retro grindhouse energy. Perfect for anyone who loves so-bad-it’s-good cinema, WTF moments, and cult classics from the drive-in era.

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Transcript
00:00Now it's your turn!
00:11Get him back!
00:21Dr. Williams has arrived.
00:23What is it you want?
00:24What I wanted was to work with Maxwell Kirshner,
00:26the foremost transplant specialist in the world.
00:28Why is it you people always put yourself
00:30in a position where you don't fit?
00:32Things might be different if I were white.
00:34You'll have your six months.
00:35When I've learned what you know,
00:37I'll fit myself in somewhere else.
00:39I never allow colored people on my personal staff.
00:43The condition is terminal chest cancer.
00:45I have two or three weeks to live at the most.
00:48That is not the gorilla's original head,
00:51but we have achieved 100% total spinal alignment.
00:55I left the two heads together for 28 days.
00:58Until the new one was strong enough to take over.
01:01I want to transplant my head on a healthy body.
01:03Of course we'll need a donor.
01:04Perhaps someone with an inoperable brain condition.
01:07But it's healthy enough to withstand the operation
01:09until we can remove the other head.
01:11It had two possibilities in the last four weeks.
01:14And neither matched up.
01:15Assuming that someone on death row will decide
01:17to donate his body to science rather than go to the chair.
01:20If it weren't for our life support systems, he'd be dead now.
01:23Vitamins!
01:24Don't you dare!
01:25More power to you, brother.
01:26I'm innocent.
01:27I think I like to donate my body to science after all.
01:30This is your, uh, volunteer.
01:32They did explain to you that you won't survive this operation.
01:35Yes, sir.
01:43We transplanted your head.
01:45It feels so strong.
01:47Is this some kind of a joke?
01:49It was our only chance.
01:50Breakfast will be a long in a few minutes.
01:52Oh, thank you, honey.
01:53Oh, man.
01:54What have you guys done?
01:55Shut up.
01:56We are joined together temporarily.
01:59Why did you do this to me?
02:02Because of your anti-rejection techniques,
02:04they could come in handy, couldn't it?
02:14What the hell is the matter with you, Moss?
02:17Holy shit.
02:19You crazy, you'll never get out of here.
02:22Help!
02:23Shut up.
02:24Hold it there, everybody.
02:25Hold it right there.
02:27Get in the car.
02:28You drop it.
02:30Williams.
02:31Stop this car immediately.
02:32Why don't you shut up?
02:33I don't know your kind stick together.
02:34Then how about you taking old happy face off me here?
02:37You don't do it,
02:37and I'll get rid of him my way.
02:39The only way to eliminate his head and live is through surgery.
02:42I'm dropping.
02:44Shoot him!
02:47You reached Route 4.
02:49I'm innocent, and I'm gonna prove it.
02:50You mean you're actually considering helping this escaped murderer?
02:53You're the murderer trying to cut off my head.
03:02Then we'll make it over my girl's house,
03:04because they don't know where she lives.
03:05Didn't you have an alibi?
03:06A cop got killed with a gun I used to own a few years back.
03:08They arrested me.
03:09When Willie heard I'd been picked up,
03:11he disappeared.
03:15Put that thing away, and I'll stick with you.
03:20Try the skull!
03:23Stop this infernal machine!
03:27You've turned him into a two-headed monster.
03:30I'll have to get back to you.
03:31It's not as bad as it sounds.
03:35We'll never get through this alive!
03:39Oh, my God!
03:51You get into more shit.
03:53I'm fine.
03:54This is Max.
03:55He's a doctor.
03:56Do you have two of anything else?
03:57A two-headed man has been seen.
03:59You really believe that he's innocent?
04:01The only crime Jack ever committed
04:02was letting Willie hide out at his place.
04:05Jack wants me to help him.
04:06A two-headed monster.
04:07I didn't kill nobody.
04:08Now I've got a second chance to prove it.
04:10Let me have some books.
04:11I'll take it away.
04:12I can't stand that garbage.
04:13You mean you could cut him off of Jack's back by yourself?
04:16If you cut off my head, that'll be murder.
04:18But it's okay for you to cut off my head, is that right?
04:20You have no right to his body.
04:25Hey, what's happening?
04:26He's taking control of your body.
04:28Cut it out, man!
04:29Now it's your turn.
04:33I haven't got much time.
04:35Prepare for the removal of the other head.
04:36The place is crawling with police.
04:38I'll have to handle it myself.
04:39All of the officers involved appear to be in good health.
04:42The chase, which took place in a deserted field near the city.
04:48No, you don't want to do that, Doctor.
04:49You'd be killing an innocent man.
04:51Hello?
04:51Better get over to Dr. Krishna's house as soon as possible.
04:54Philip.
04:57Get me another body, please.
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