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  • 2 days ago
Chuck Norris and Louis Gossett Jr. chase ancient treasure in Firewalker, the 1986 Cannon Films adventure comedy packed with jungle danger, strange comedy, action-movie energy, and peak VHS-era chaos.

This 5 Minute Drive-In edit cuts Firewalker down into a fast, funny, action-packed version for cult movie fans, Chuck Norris fans, Cannon Films fans, and anyone who loves strange 1980s adventure movies.

Is Firewalker underrated, ridiculous, or somehow both? Drop your take in the comments.

More 5 Minute Drive-In edits coming soon.

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Transcript
00:06So, gentlemen, we meet again.
00:08So, gentlemen, we meet again.
00:11Your flesh will begin to blister.
00:14You will be holding the liquid of life.
00:16You'll still be bald.
00:20Something is crawling up my leg.
00:22Only so much I can do.
00:23How many expeditions have we been on together?
00:25And how many have we made money on?
00:26Three, Max.
00:27Tell him I said he was okay.
00:29The bartender says I'm okay.
00:31You see, I've recently acquired a map,
00:33and I'm convinced it leads to a great amount of gold.
00:37Get your hands down.
00:38Come on, Leo.
00:39This is a sacred place.
00:41Vayan con Dios.
00:42There's someone in there.
00:43Check the burial ground.
00:46Leo, I knew it.
00:48I knew we'd find something.
00:51What is that?
01:04Drop the knife.
01:08I didn't tell him to jump.
01:09And he's the Mayan sun god.
01:10And he appears here again on the deck, you see?
01:12What was that talking about?
01:13The fire walker.
01:14Oh, legend says he flew to the sun, there to walk among the fire forever.
01:20It's all I know.
01:21Beware of the coyote.
01:23He is very treacherous.
01:24I don't care about coyotes.
01:26I want to know where the gold is.
01:27What is it?
01:28Dust.
01:29Bones.
01:29Magic.
01:30If that gold isn't in that cave, then it has to be somewhere else.
01:34Right, right.
01:34Aztec and Mayan country.
01:38San Miguel.
01:39You believe in witches, Leo?
01:42Protect you from evil.
01:44I never turned down a good potion.
01:58Signing the fire in the engine.
02:00We're landing anyway.
02:08$20 American for information.
02:10I'm so.
02:11Find a man named Guteriz.
02:12He's the best guide in the country.
02:14A little perro.
02:15You said your mother was a pig and your father was a dog.
02:20Go on.
02:21He's going to get hurt.
02:24Alto.
02:24Don't try it.
02:26Shut it.
02:47Run for the bonneto field.
02:49Run for the bonneto field.
02:57Okay, Manuel, run away.
03:01Give me that thing.
03:10Let's just keep our heads.
03:13I oversaid you were too pretty for jungle work, Max.
03:17For mis amigos!
03:21Run!
03:22Not a move for you!
03:24There's hotels, fine restaurants.
03:31This is the command vehicle.
03:34I have this back.
03:36What scares you, Max?
03:38Suits, alarm clocks, apartment buildings.
03:43Leo!
03:45Damn.
03:46Nothing like a brisk walk after a morning swim.
03:49It's a picture from the cave.
03:51You're not very good with that, are you?
03:54It's Leo!
03:55Welcome, brave one.
03:56You've been Cyclops.
03:57I'll give you the dagger. We go three.
03:59It is agreed.
04:02All along, you will bring her to me.
04:04With her blood, I will gather the power of the Firewalker.
04:08Spirit of this.
04:25Now we find the gold.
04:32Take it out!
04:33For the wall!
04:40Let's see how tough you are.
04:52Let's get the hell out of here.
04:56Say you guys smile.
04:57Those gentlemen, we meet again.
05:05I don't know how Tonto did it.
05:08I happen to be a highly educated, open-minded person
05:10with an IQ that will put that pea brain of yours in the cellar.
Comments
Tim Ackelmire
Creator
Is Firewalker an underrated Chuck Norris adventure, a ridiculous Cannon Films fever dream, or both?

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