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00:01I'll see you next year, Donovan.
00:03And, Jaden, when I figure out who broke your candy cane,
00:06there will be hell to pay!
00:09Aw, it's always so sad
00:11when the Christmas decorations come down.
00:14You know what's really sad?
00:15Is that it's almost March.
00:18Yeah, well, don't remind me.
00:20All this time and I still have gotten
00:22no nibbles on my job applications.
00:24I keep telling you,
00:26you've got to zhuzh up your resume a bit.
00:28Well, you know, you say zhuzh,
00:30but what you really mean is lie.
00:32Still feel terrible about shrinking
00:34the font size to 11.
00:37Come on, babe.
00:38You're up against people who are embellishing
00:40the hell out of their achievements.
00:42And your resume. It's just so honest.
00:46Look at this. Look at this.
00:48Here's a section called Weaknesses.
00:51Car sickness.
00:52In case they wanted to carpool.
00:57Mrs. B.
00:58Thanks for lending us Terrence.
01:00Oh, no, no, no.
01:01Put him there.
01:02Uh-uh, girl.
01:03Him and Jimmy got beef.
01:11Dave, your competition is making up
01:14all kinds of stuff on their resume.
01:16If you want to make an honest living,
01:18you're going to have to lie.
01:21I guess you make a good point.
01:24The good point I've been making for four months?
01:27You know, Calvin, you're right.
01:32Maybe I do need to zhuzh it up a little.
01:34He didn't even say zhuzh. I said zhuzh.
01:38I have to say, I'm on Team Calvin.
01:41You mean Team Gemma!
01:42Whoa.
01:44You wouldn't believe how much I embellished my resume.
01:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:50Are you saying I hired you up a zhuzhed up resume?
01:53Too late.
01:54I have your grandbaby.
02:01Welcome to the block. Welcome to the neighborhood.
02:04Welcome to the hood.
02:08Oh, my God.
02:09Gemma!
02:12They just dropped the clip from the new episode
02:15of Trophy Divas of Brentwood.
02:17Okay, Savannah took muscle relax.
02:20She drove her Cybertruck into Sephora.
02:23Wait, was it Sephora the store or Sephora the house?
02:26What?
02:27Bitch balls.
02:27Oh, my God.
02:28Okay, no, no, no.
02:29No more spoilers.
02:30Let's go watch.
02:30Let's go watch.
02:35Dave.
02:36Dave.
02:37Guess who just called?
02:39The jeweler.
02:40You didn't let me guess.
02:42You know I love to guess.
02:43I'm sorry, ma'am, but Courtney's engagement ring
02:47is finally ready.
02:50Operation proposal is underway.
02:53All right.
02:53Yeah.
02:55Now, I gotta pick the perfect date to pop the question.
02:58What do you think of a prime number date
03:01to show that we can't be divided?
03:03I don't know what you're talking about.
03:07Hey, Dad.
03:09Can you just sign this?
03:10Yeah, sure. What is it?
03:11Um, the usual.
03:13No need to bother reading it.
03:14I already read it for you.
03:16In that case, I definitely want to read it.
03:20Hey, Grover, you have played this very badly.
03:23Um, it just says I don't have to do PE because of my asthma.
03:27Oh, been there. I know exactly how you feel.
03:31No, you don't.
03:33He doesn't have asthma.
03:34What?
03:35Little boy, that is stolen valor.
03:38Look, let's not argue over who does and doesn't have asthma
03:42when all you have to do is sign your name right there
03:43and then I get a free period.
03:45Grover, that would be a lie.
03:48But everybody does it.
03:49Charlie said he was allergic to his own sweat
03:51and Jacob claimed a religious exemption to volleyball.
03:56I don't care what everyone does.
03:59Honesty matters and the truth will always come out.
04:01Remember this.
04:02Real lies, real lies, real lies.
04:06I'm sorry.
04:07What was that?
04:10Okay, you know what? I'm gonna slow it down.
04:12Real eyes, real lies, real lies.
04:19I realize I should have asked mom.
04:24Okay, close your eyes and open your mouth.
04:29Mmm, I'm gonna say toro.
04:32What part of the toro?
04:33The belly.
04:34Hey, you're getting good at this.
04:37Well, we do sit here every night and play guests to sushi.
04:43Mercedes, we've been going out for the last two months
04:45and, you know, we have never actually gone out.
04:49We go out.
04:50We've gone out to the patio to meet the sushi guy.
04:55Well, come on, Sadie.
04:58Okay, I know it's not ideal, but as soon as we go out,
05:03everything will change.
05:04People will recognize me and they'll swarm us
05:07and they'll take our picture and you can kiss your private life goodbye.
05:11Look, I don't want that, but keeping me hidden away like this,
05:16I feel like a side piece.
05:18Oh, come on, Malcolm. You're my only piece.
05:22No, no, no. See, you kissing me like this will not make these issues go away.
05:30Okay.
05:30Okay.
05:31Yep.
05:32I...
05:34What were we talking about?
05:47No.
05:48No.
05:49Too obvious.
05:50No.
05:55Oh.
05:58She plays chess, you idiot.
06:05Hey, hey, hey.
06:08Look who's home early.
06:09Yep.
06:10And I don't have to pick Daphne up from daycare for another 20 minutes.
06:15Oh, really?
06:17So I was thinking we could get into a little afternoon delight.
06:21Oh.
06:22No, no, no, no.
06:24No.
06:25No.
06:26No, no, no.
06:26Uh, not, not on the couch.
06:29The bed.
06:31So much for spontaneity.
06:33Uh, well, not on the bed.
06:36Under the bed.
06:40What?
06:40Yeah.
06:41Look, you said you wanted spontaneity.
06:43Let's go.
06:44Okay.
06:47All right.
06:51This is what I'm talking about.
06:53This is a well zhuzhed resume.
06:57Well, a lot of good it's doing me.
06:59All these jobs are just out of my reach.
07:01Like, like this one.
07:03Background in conflict mediation and therapy.
07:06Okay, great.
07:06But it's with the L.A. Rams.
07:09Rams?
07:13What's the but?
07:14I mean, there is no but, Dave.
07:16The but is it says football experience a must.
07:21Oh, dang.
07:22Come on.
07:22Football experience a must, man.
07:24That could mean anything.
07:27I think it means I must have football experience.
07:32I mean, well, you played football, right?
07:34No.
07:35In middle school?
07:36Nope.
07:37The only sports my mom allowed me to play were co-ed badminton and soccer.
07:41Okay.
07:42What does the rest of the world call soccer?
07:45Football.
07:46Boom!
07:49There's your football experience.
07:51I guess you could make that case.
07:53But, Calvin...
07:54No, no, no, no, no, Dave.
07:55No more buts.
07:56Come on, man.
07:57This is a great job for you.
07:59You'll be doing what you love.
08:00You'll be providing for your family.
08:03That is true.
08:04And it comes with great perks for you and me.
08:10Last season, I had a vendor.
08:13They took me to their luxury box at SoFi Stadium.
08:16Ah, Dave.
08:17It was paradise.
08:20You and me hanging out in a luxury box.
08:24Yeah, man.
08:25And, David, that dessert cart, all the churros...
08:31Say no more.
08:32Game on!
08:33Let's go!
08:35All right, what we watching?
08:38Oh, my God.
08:40We have finished Netflix.
08:43Come on.
08:45No, baby, look.
08:46Already watched.
08:47Already watched.
08:49Already watched.
08:50It doesn't even have suggestions.
08:54Okay.
08:56Uh...
08:58Let's do it.
09:00Get Hulu?
09:03Let's get out of here.
09:06Wait.
09:06Really?
09:07Yeah, but it's got to be someplace that no one would ever look for me.
09:12Actually, I know a secluded place right here in Venice.
09:17Are you sure?
09:19Yes.
09:20Now, come on before you change your mind.
09:24And, hey, look.
09:25Trust me.
09:26We will be inconspicuous.
09:30Oh!
09:31Oh, my God!
09:34Oh, my God!
09:35Oh, my God!
09:36Oh, my God!
09:36Oh, my God!
09:36Be cool.
09:37I am cool.
09:38I am cool.
09:38I am cool.
09:40Okay.
09:41What was that shot?
09:42Well, this was very cheap tequila.
09:44I told you.
09:48See, guess the shot is a lot more fun than guess the sushi.
09:52Hello, Minnie.
10:06Oh, my God!
10:07Oh, my God!
10:07Did you see the headline on Entertainment Tonight?
10:10Mercedes mystery man?
10:11Of course!
10:12Okay?
10:15I have theories.
10:16Me, too!
10:17It's got to be the tennis instructor from season three.
10:20You saw the way he restrung her racket.
10:24No way she's dating some hourly worker.
10:29Oh, my God.
10:31You don't think it could be Savannah's hot stepson?
10:35Tina, her stepson is gay.
10:37Mercedes' first husband was gay.
10:39That's all tight.
10:43Have you asked Malcolm?
10:44He knows her.
10:45B-b-b-b-b-b-b.
10:45Adding him now.
10:46Oh.
10:53Mama?
10:54Hey, uh, good morning.
10:56Malcolm, are you hungover?
10:58Yeah, you look horrible.
11:03What is Timma doing here?
11:05We want answers.
11:06Who is the mystery man?
11:08Uh, oh, God.
11:10What are you talking about?
11:11He hasn't seen it yet.
11:13It's all over the Internet.
11:15Mercedes was seen at some restaurant with a new guy.
11:21He was?
11:22Ugh!
11:24Who is he?
11:25Spill it!
11:27Oh, so-so you can't tell who it is?
11:30Ugh.
11:30He's a mystery man.
11:32Duh!
11:32Oh.
11:39Uh, who-who's foot is that?
11:45Mine.
11:50I'm doing yoga.
11:52Y'all messing up my chi.
11:53I gotta go.
11:55He was useless.
11:58But flexible.
12:01Calvin.
12:03Calvin.
12:04The guy from the Rams responded.
12:05He wants to Zoom with me about the job ASAP.
12:08Oh, man.
12:08That's great.
12:09Yeah, yeah, but I have no idea what I'm gonna say.
12:13Zhuzhing a resume is one thing, but a live interview, that's zhuzh-proof.
12:18I don't know the first thing about football.
12:20I don't know when they kick.
12:21I don't know why they kick.
12:22Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:24Dave, just calm down, all right?
12:26It's a remote job interview.
12:28I could just stand outside the camera and coach you, like a defensive coordinator.
12:35Is that who decides when they kick?
12:39I can't sleep.
12:41Baby.
12:41Oh, good morning.
12:43Not as good as yesterday afternoon.
12:46I was finding dust bunnies in my pants all day.
12:51Oh, yeah.
12:52Me, too.
12:55We should really use the Swiffer under there.
13:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
13:07whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
13:10whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
13:10whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
13:11whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
13:15whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
13:24I'll have yogurt.
13:25Okay.
13:31Ah, you know what?
13:32I am being selfish.
13:35Here you go.
13:38Enjoy.
13:44A lot of people think off-season
13:46must be pretty easy right now.
13:48Fact is, for those of us off the field,
13:51it's the busiest time of year.
13:53So you guys aren't playing right now?
13:57I like a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously.
14:00Now we're just looking forward to this year's draft.
14:02What do you think of this kid, Brotmiller?
14:04Br-Brotmiller?
14:06Uh, yeah, he...
14:08he has got an arm.
14:10And he, uh, he runs.
14:14Out of his pocket.
14:17You know your stuff.
14:20Maybe we should hire you as a scout.
14:21You know, I was actually a Boy Scout.
14:26Yeah, that's on your resume.
14:29Speaking of which, football experience.
14:32Tell me, what position did you play?
14:34Position?
14:35Well, I was, uh...
14:37I was a strong...
14:40safe...
14:45would've guessed punter.
14:48But great!
14:49The fact that you work in mediation,
14:51and you're a therapist,
14:53that's what we're looking for.
14:55Alright, next step,
14:57we're gonna loop in Tim and the training staff.
14:59I'll send you a link later today.
15:02Okay.
15:02Okay, great.
15:03Uh, looking forward to it.
15:08We did it.
15:09Yeah, baby!
15:13David, you just nailed it, man.
15:15Oh, man.
15:15I can already taste those churros in the luxury box.
15:18So it went well?
15:20Gemma, it was a field goal.
15:26Do we really have to play catch?
15:27Yes!
15:28What's more American than a father and son
15:30tossing around the old pigskin?
15:32That was a pig?
15:35I have no idea.
15:36Now, come on.
15:37Go along.
15:38You're gonna need this practice for P.E.
15:40Now, hut.
15:42You got this.
15:43What's that?
15:47You threw that right at me!
15:50Did you just hit my truck?
15:51No, no, no.
15:52Did you just hit my truck?
15:53Hey, did you just hit my truck?
15:55No, Calvin.
15:55Calvin.
15:56Calvin.
15:57I was just trying to teach football to Grover.
16:00Well, that's nice.
16:01But how about we focus on things we can actually achieve?
16:05Like you getting this job.
16:07I'm feeling pretty good about it.
16:09Well, feeling pretty good is not good enough, Dave.
16:11You gotta ace this interview, man.
16:13Come on.
16:14Name some players.
16:15Easy.
16:15Travis Kelsey.
16:17Okay.
16:18Name any player that's not engaged to Taylor Swift.
16:22I got nothing.
16:24Hey.
16:25You gotta pretend like you know this stuff.
16:27Wait.
16:28So, I can't fake asthma to get out of sports, but you can lie to get into them?
16:33Well, Grover, it's not the same thing.
16:35Why not?
16:36Okay.
16:36Well, superficially sure, yes.
16:38But when you're an adult, you will learn the difference between real lies and lies you don't even realize are
16:45lies.
16:47Dave, what the hell are you saying?
16:49He's saying adults can lie and kids can't.
16:52Well, exactly.
16:54Go on now.
16:58Some of the earliest memories I have with my dad watching those Chiefs.
17:02Now Travis Kelsey's team.
17:06Well, Dave, clearly you are a great fit for the job.
17:10We just want to...
17:11Was that your boy?
17:14Hey, little man.
17:17Uh, hello.
17:18How you doing, son?
17:20So, are you a third-generation football fan, huh?
17:26You bet he is.
17:30Yes, uh, football is my favorite.
17:33I...
17:33Just the way the players, uh, run, the way they throw the ball, you know, and they sometimes catch it.
17:44Uh...
17:45I-I just try to...
17:47I just try to catch as many games as I can.
17:56You must be a proud dad.
17:58Yeah.
18:00Um...
18:02I am a proud dad.
18:05And...
18:07I would like to stay that way.
18:09Um...
18:10Listen, Graham, I'm gonna be honest with you.
18:14I've actually never played...
18:19I want those churros, Dave.
18:25Congratulations, man!
18:26Shh, shh, shh, shh.
18:27Listen, Courtney is a keeper.
18:30Yeah.
18:30Yeah.
18:31Thanks, big bro.
18:31You're welcome.
18:32And thank you for holding the ring.
18:34Of course, man.
18:35Does this smell like scary berries?
18:37Yes.
18:38Yes.
18:39It's a long story.
18:40I am telling you, man, there is no safe place in this house.
18:44This woman is everywhere.
18:46Hello.
18:46You dropped something.
18:50No!
18:52No, it's just, um...
18:54It's just, it's very, very personal.
18:58Oh, say no more.
18:59Yeah.
19:00He's extremely constipated.
19:03It's his five supplement pills he all locked up in here.
19:06She said, say no more.
19:08Yeah, she did.
19:08Oh, Malcolm, it is nothing to be ashamed of.
19:12I'm gonna make you a kiwi smoothie, but you better not have any plans.
19:16What?
19:19You owe me so big.
19:26Calvin, I can't help but feel like I let you down by not getting that job.
19:30Well, because you did let me down, Dave.
19:33Okay.
19:34Well, I can look my son in the eye and know that I set a good example.
19:37I'm comfortable with my decision.
19:40Well, not as comfortable as we would have been in that luxury box.
19:45Dave, don't worry. You'll get the next one.
19:47I know I will.
19:48And, Gemma, I don't want you to feel bad.
19:51I know you meant well when you told me to lie on my resume.
19:57Wait.
19:58Now I get the credit?
20:00I mean, what were you thinking, Gemma?
20:04Hey, Gemma, E.T. is back on.
20:06And trophy diva of Brentwood, Mercedes Selznick, was out on the town,
20:12canoodling with this tall drink of water.
20:15And all of Mercedes Nation wants to know, who is this new boy toy?
20:21Uh-uh-uh. Uh-uh.
20:23What?
20:27Oh, my God.
20:29That's Malcolm.
20:32Please, that blur? You can't even see a face.
20:36I don't need to see a face.
20:38Look, the ear, that walk, that ain't no damn boy toy.
20:43That's my baby.
21:00Oh, my God.
21:02Yeah.
21:08Oh, my God.
21:10Oh, my God.
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