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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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Transcript
00:02You're a snivelling toad, Timothy Shore.
00:05You're right. All I want is a quiet life.
00:07Do you know what I'm going to do to you?
00:08No. I'm going to forgive you.
00:12Forgive me?
00:12But Fiona, I will never forgive.
00:14I'll get her if it's the last thing I do.
00:57I'll get her if it's the last thing I do.
01:05Earth crawl, please.
01:08Portiscuso, Sardinia. Santino Begani.
01:11Coms code 10668.
01:15Message begins.
01:17Salve, Santino.
01:19Shut down one.
01:20Shutting down one.
01:21Drop two to 70%.
01:23Drop two to 70%.
01:24Heat sinks one to five. Retracted.
01:26Any spikes?
01:27No.
01:29Power system's down nominal to profile.
01:31Finbo, I said 70% on two.
01:33Sorry, it drifted.
01:35Just keep an eye on it.
01:36Is there anything specific I can help you with, Professor?
01:39Oh, not really. Just wondered how you two are getting on.
01:42We're just checking the generator output profiles.
01:45Ah?
01:45We're still checking.
01:47If you'd like, I could send you the whole report.
01:50When it's finished, of course.
01:52Well, I'll let you get on with it, then.
02:00How was Valhalla?
02:02Oh, it was okay.
02:04Did you have a good time?
02:06Not really.
02:07Good.
02:10Stellar occultation was the navigational method used on the early Pioneer and Voyager missions.
02:15Okay.
02:16Add.
02:17And it was while taking an occult time measurement for Voyager that the volcanoes on Io were discovered.
02:23It's a bit basic for you, isn't it?
02:25That's for the first years.
02:27Basic navigation.
02:28Bring in from Sadie's.
02:29Mm.
02:30Can't Lewis do that?
02:31Oh, no.
02:32Natasha says she needs him on the bridge.
02:35She says that he is not attached to Columbus
02:37and that people have been taking advantage of his good nature for long enough.
02:42Do you know what Rebecca told me?
02:43Hmm?
02:44She told me that Captain Kovitsky and Lewis are an item.
02:50An item of what?
02:52Lovers.
02:54Natasha and Fimbo.
02:56That's all she says.
02:57Victoria has also heard the rumour.
03:00Oh, dear.
03:00Oh, dear.
03:02Service doesn't like that sort of thing.
03:03Against regulations, is it?
03:05Well, let's just say it is actively discouraged.
03:07There should be no ambiguity in the chain of command, Charles.
03:11Basic preceptive management.
03:12As I'm sure a high-flyer like Captain Kovitsky knows full well.
03:16So you think it's unlikely?
03:18Love does strange things, of course.
03:20Reason can be clouded by the fury of a blinding, irresistible passion.
03:26This is Fimbo Lewis we are talking about.
03:29Are you seriously telling me that Captain Kovitsky has a blinding, irresistible passion for Fimbo Lewis,
03:35the only known donkey fancier in the Jovian system?
03:38It does seem unlikely.
03:40It's ridiculous.
03:42I'm surprised at you, Charles.
03:44Listening to gossip.
03:46I'd just like to know what's going on, that's all.
03:49Breland doesn't miss much.
03:51He doesn't miss anything.
03:53It's none of his business.
03:54Oh, are we whispering, then?
03:55Are we?
03:56Yes.
03:56Fancy that.
03:57Regulation of 37B, command crews must strictly not fraternise whilst on active service,
04:03and senior officers must in no way co-est junior officers.
04:08As call received.
04:09Who's it for?
04:12Begani Anna.
04:13Petra, download and transfer.
04:15Petra, source of call.
04:2010668, Porto Scuzzo, Sardinia, Europe.
04:23Hmm.
04:23That's Anna's home.
04:24I hope there's nothing wrong.
04:27Well, well, well.
04:28What is it?
04:29Just a little something I set up for Rebecca.
04:31Nothing to worry about.
04:36Yes?
04:37He's doing it again.
04:39What is it this time?
04:40Intercepted an Earth call.
04:41Do you want me to...
04:42No, don't worry.
04:42I'll deal with it.
04:49Okay.
04:50Settle down, everybody.
04:52Settle down.
04:54Right.
04:56So far on this course, you've concentrated on virtual positioning using the stars as reference
05:01points.
05:03Well, if we're using the computer to find these reference stars, why do we have to memorize
05:07these constellations?
05:09Well, for one thing, computers can go wrong or be disabled.
05:14But there's another more important reason.
05:16Does anyone know the answer to that?
05:17Ah!
05:18Orientation?
05:19Exactly.
05:20Lots of orientation can be very dangerous, especially in small ships.
05:25If you can establish your orientation with just a quick glance out of the viewport, it
05:29gives you the edge that may just save your life.
05:34So what exactly is all this?
05:36It's a calibration glitch.
05:37No, it's not.
05:38Look, it's carbon formation.
05:40Carbon formation?
05:41Let me see.
05:42What's that up there?
05:43Daniel!
05:44Yes?
05:45James?
05:45James?
05:46Yeah?
05:47Mm-hmm.
05:48You two still in the catering business?
05:49Erm...
05:50Oh, yes!
05:51Yes, of course we are.
05:51Weatherby and Hawkins, the finest personalized cuisine this side of the ecliptic.
05:55We manage a private dinner party tonight?
05:56Tonight?
05:57For how many?
05:58Three.
05:59No problem.
06:00Good.
06:00Give you the details later there.
06:02Yes.
06:05So when are we going to get this analysis finished?
06:07Jim, education's off very well, but this is business!
06:11Besides, who's marking our exam papers?
06:13He is.
06:17Mike just saved your life.
06:19Mike just bore you to death.
06:20He's better than Mercedes.
06:22Well, that's not exactly hard.
06:23What's wrong with Mercedes?
06:24What's right with her?
06:25Just because she thinks she walks on water.
06:28Fiona, are you feeling all right?
06:30No.
06:31Oh.
06:31Oh, guess what?
06:32What?
06:33I've just figured out a way to break into the Clisto memory core.
06:35You're not supposed to do that, Tim.
06:37You promised you'd stop doing that.
06:38God, you are in a bad mood.
06:40I'm not in a bad mood.
06:42Have it your way.
06:44Oh, has anyone seen Anna lately?
06:45Oh.
06:48So, what did you have in mind?
06:50Well, I thought rice, okra and fried mushrooms are the main course.
06:55Mango starter.
06:57Oh, and, er, yam substitute.
06:59Yam substitute?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Shaped potato concentrate.
07:03You're joking?
07:03No, it's my own invention.
07:05My God!
07:05Yam substitute!
07:11Hello.
07:12Daniel, can I see you in the dome?
07:14What for?
07:14Business.
07:15Is it worth my while?
07:17Very much worth your while.
07:19Uh, ok, say, 1400?
07:21Ten minutes.
07:22Right.
07:24What do you think that's about?
07:26I don't know.
07:27But I smell money.
07:28Since when did Anna have any money?
07:30Every little bit counts, Geoffroy.
07:31You're a deeply sick man, Daniel.
07:33Did you know that?
07:34Sick?
07:34Me?
07:36I'm not.
07:36I'm not the one making yam substitute.
07:41It's the way she looks at me.
07:43I don't know what you expected though.
07:44She's bound to be angry.
07:45Well, that's just it.
07:46She doesn't look angry.
07:47Not anymore.
07:49She looks, well, pleased with herself.
07:52As if she's looking forward to something.
07:55Do you think she's planning to get her own back?
07:57Well, she is Italian.
07:59No offence.
08:00And heaven forbid that I should be guilty of national stereotyping.
08:03Not in this day and age.
08:03And I know all that Sicilian Mafia stuff went out 50 years ago.
08:07She's Sardinian.
08:08Yeah.
08:08That's exactly what I said to Melody.
08:11Sardinians are much worse than the Sicilians.
08:13Oh, no.
08:15Just be fair, Paul, she hasn't got any family out here.
08:17Oh, my God.
08:18Oh, Fiona, calm down.
08:19I'm joking.
08:20Anna won't do anything.
08:22You sure?
08:23Positive.
08:24Come on.
08:38Oh.
08:39So, Anna.
08:40What can I do for you?
08:42I want you to do a little job for me.
08:44Oh, yes.
08:44And how much is it worth?
08:46That's up to you.
08:47You mean five EQs and possibly ten?
08:50Mm-hmm.
08:51I have 500 EQs at my disposal.
08:56Right.
08:56Well, what do you want me to do?
09:00I want to take a contract out on Fiona McBride.
09:05Open.
09:08Good afternoon, Timmy.
09:10Right.
09:10Well, you'd better sit down.
09:11I expect you know why I've called you here.
09:13Uh, no.
09:15Well, maybe.
09:16You've been doing it again.
09:18Have I?
09:20Intercepting people's personal autoset communications.
09:23Oh, well, that was an accident.
09:24Perhaps you'd like to explain it.
09:26Well, I'm not sure you'd understand, Rebecca.
09:28Timothy, I strongly suggest you make sure I understand.
09:32Well, the program is designed to access in ghost memory
09:35in the secondary storage facilities.
09:36Well, that's where Petra makes her backups.
09:38Mm-hmm.
09:38If you erase a file by accident,
09:40well, that file will still exist on a ghost memory
09:42in the secondary storage facilities.
09:44So I wrote something to reassemble an erase file
09:46from what was already stored.
09:47I mean, it's practically a public service.
09:50Took me ages to compile.
09:51So you're saying it's a program designed
09:53for retrieving accidentally erased files?
09:55Yeah, honest.
09:56Then why did it intercept the Earth call?
09:58Ah, well, what I didn't realize is
10:00Petra makes the temporary records
10:02of all the out-of-ship communications.
10:04Well, the program just thought it was an erase file
10:06and retrieved it.
10:07Nonsense.
10:07It's true.
10:08Well, I didn't look at it.
10:09Well, that's not the point.
10:11God knows there is little enough privacy on this ship as it is
10:14without people's personal communications
10:15being dragged out of storage.
10:17Sorry, it won't happen again.
10:18Too right it won't happen again.
10:20Because you are going to erase that program,
10:22all its copies and all the copies of the copies.
10:24Do you understand?
10:25That's not fair.
10:26Timmy, you are long past the age of criminal responsibility.
10:30And next time it won't be me.
10:32It'll be the thought police.
10:34And they've already got your card marked, haven't they?
10:37Mm-hmm.
10:37Okay, I'll do it.
10:40But how did you find out?
10:41Oh, that would be telling.
10:43Go on.
10:45You recall that I'm booked out this evening?
10:47Yes, I wanted you to have dinner with me.
10:49Hello, Fimbo.
10:50Commander.
10:51The offer's still open if you want me to book a table.
10:53No.
10:54Actually, that's not why I called.
10:56Natasha.
10:57You mean you built my hopes just to dash them down again?
11:01Lieutenant Higgs was taking watch, but he's ill.
11:03And they can't find anybody else.
11:05I see.
11:05We just wondered...
11:07I just wondered...
11:08What time?
11:091,800 hours.
11:11Okay.
11:12Back on the late shuttle?
11:13Yes, of course.
11:14Make sure you don't miss it.
11:15No.
11:16We don't want Fimbo turning back into a pumpkin, do we?
11:19I hope it doesn't put you out.
11:21No trouble, no.
11:22I couldn't deprive you from missing a Callisto space history club.
11:28Bit of a joker, that one.
11:30Yes.
11:30When's the meeting?
11:312,800 hours.
11:33Eat at 18.30.
11:34We want to rush.
11:36But the shuttle goes at 17.40.
11:3717.40 shuttle will just have to suffer an unforeseen delay.
11:41For how long?
11:42Until we're on it.
11:44Professor Brallon calling Consen.
11:46Petra.
11:47Ah, Captain Kavitsky.
11:49Oh, my God.
11:50I wondered if you and First Officer Lewis were free this evening.
11:53What for?
11:54I wondered if you'd both like to have dinner with me.
11:56I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we're both booked out.
11:58It's important.
11:59So is my evening out.
12:00If something's happened, we need to discuss the immediate future of the ship.
12:03I thought it'd be pleasant to do it over a meal.
12:05Of course, Professor.
12:07We'd be delighted.
12:08Good, good.
12:0919.30, then.
12:10Fine.
12:11See you, then.
12:13Well, I suppose it pays to be polite.
12:16It's free food.
12:17Hello.
12:18Oh, hello.
12:19Did you speak to Tim Shaw?
12:20Yes.
12:21He's agreed to destroy the wretched program.
12:23Good, right.
12:24I'll take the trace off him, then.
12:25Oh, no.
12:25Not just yours.
12:26How good a hacker is he?
12:28Far too good.
12:29Are you going down to Callisto?
12:31Only I need some things.
12:31Sorry.
12:32We're having dinner with Brelin.
12:33How awful.
12:34Yes.
12:35It's a working dinner.
12:36He wants to discuss his plans for the future of the Ilya.
12:38Oh, he does, does he?
12:40I thought you'd be coming.
12:41Well, he probably hasn't got round to telling me yet.
12:59I don't know, Petra.
13:02Who was it from, Petra?
13:03Oh, give me a printout.
13:05From Portoscuso, Sardinia, to Annabagani, Ilya.
13:09Hmm.
13:10I hope nobody's died or anything.
13:13Okay, Petra, let's see it.
13:15But not audio, just on screen.
13:20Petra, can you translate that to English, please?
13:23Tim, have you erased that programme yet?
13:26Um, almost.
13:27Do it, Tim.
13:28Do it now, okay?
13:30Okay.
13:38Of course the Bursa has an interest in the future plans of the Ilya.
13:42I'm glad you think so, Vanessa.
13:44It was never my intention to give any impression to the contrary.
13:47I wasn't intending a formal planning session.
13:49Of course not.
13:51If you'd like to come to dinner, you'd be most welcome.
13:54I'd be delighted.
13:57One of these days, Miss Harvey.
14:00One of these days.
14:07He, er, wants to know if we can stretch to four places.
14:12Yes.
14:12Jim's very keen on the idea, Professor.
14:14As many as you like.
14:17Er, Gabby.
14:18Control exercise, pre-breathing.
14:19Er, can you read this, please?
14:21I was gonna get Petra to translate it, but I had to erase the file.
14:24It's to Anna.
14:25Yeah, I know that.
14:26It's an article from her brother.
14:27Yes, but what does it say?
14:29You erase the file?
14:30Yeah, I have to.
14:31This is the only copy?
14:32Yes, Gabby.
14:34Gabby!
14:35Tim, whatever you do, don't get caught up between Anna and Fiona.
14:38No?
14:39Anna's not going to be anything lethal.
14:40Oh, good.
14:41Just very unpleasant.
14:46Are you finished yet?
14:48Just a minute.
14:48Well, will you hurry up or we'll get the food over to Gantry 2?
14:51They've got out their starters first.
14:53Yeah, which just shows how much you know about catering.
14:56You just slap the food on the plate and then go.
15:09Jim?
15:11Jim?
15:12What?
15:12What do you know about shower heads?
15:14Not much.
15:15Well, look, is this relevant?
15:17No, not really.
15:19Well, then hurry up.
15:21No, I just wondered,
15:24how easy would it be, for instance,
15:26to run a bypass into the water unit?
15:29What?
15:40Hi, Anna.
15:42I thought you might like a cup of coffee.
15:43I was getting one myself, so I thought I'd get you one.
15:48Oh, what are you working on?
15:52I wish I had your grasp of physics.
15:55Sometimes I think it just goes in the one ear and out the other.
16:03Well, I can see you're busy, so I won't disturb you any more, Anna.
16:07Oh, I was thinking of going to the club for a drink tonight.
16:10Do you want to come along?
16:12No, I'll give you time.
16:15No, I'll give you time.
16:15No, I'll give you time.
16:16No, I'll give you time.
16:16No, I'll give you time.
16:18No, I'll give you time.
16:19Hi.
16:29Pacify?
16:30Pacify?
16:31What's wrong with pacify?
16:32It's boring.
16:34It's got the best astronomers in the solar system.
16:36It's got the most advanced deep space observatory in the solar system.
16:40And don't talk to me about the Koreans.
16:42Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
16:43But more to the point,
16:44the next six months are critical for observations of Parkinson's star and its satellites.
16:48Ah, the table is very few.
16:50Thank you, Daniel.
16:51Daniel, what are you doing here?
16:52I'm earning money.
16:53It's something poor students have to do in their spare time.
16:55Tell me, don't you think pacify is boring?
16:58Me?
16:58I never have time to get bored.
17:01Shall we sit down?
17:05So, you'd like the area to move its base to pacify for the next six months?
17:09That's right.
17:10Oh, well, it's nothing to do with me.
17:12Exactly.
17:14Actually, I rather like pacify.
17:17Yes?
17:17Yes.
17:18I belong to a space history club, but we have quite a few members on pacify.
17:23There you are, then, you see.
17:24It's not as boring as you thought, Rebecca.
17:27Besides, pacify sees itself as a family movement.
17:30We'll be able to play for Melody Shaw.
17:31They've promised an extended storm market for the nursery.
17:33What departure date were you thinking of?
17:35Next week.
17:36What do you think, Finber?
17:37Well, the lining for engine four should be ready tomorrow.
17:40I don't see why not.
17:41Can we manage again a meet flightway?
17:42Yes.
17:43We'll have to replay in Himalaya.
17:44They'll get funny.
17:47It's not fair.
17:48How come she's forgiven you and not me?
17:50Who knows what goes on in Anna's mind?
17:53It was only a joke, for God's sake.
17:54Can't she take a joke?
17:55Don't think so.
17:56Oh, you're a lot of help.
17:58I hope I haven't ruined your evening, Mr Lewis.
18:01Me?
18:01We were going down to Callisto tonight.
18:03You were going as well, I think, Captain?
18:05Yes.
18:06Captain and first officer out on the town together, eh?
18:09Roistering your way around the dubious delights of Space City.
18:15I'm glad things are settling down so smoothly on the bridge.
18:20Mr Lewis, when do you start your course of radiation treatment?
18:23A couple of days, I think.
18:24Christoph is waiting for the antibody culture from Island Five.
18:27He'll be fit for duty if we leave Callisto next week.
18:29I hope I'll always be fit for duty.
18:31If he isn't, Commander Drummond is very supportive.
18:34And exceptionally capable.
18:35I hope we're all exceptionally capable, Professor.
18:38Charles?
18:39How many times must I tell you to call me Charles?
18:41It's so difficult, though, isn't it, with two Charleses?
18:45Two?
18:45What do you mean, two Charleses?
18:46You and Timmy's hamster.
18:48We all got used to calling the hamster Charles.
18:51Here, Charles, have a sunflower seed, that sort of thing.
18:54Perhaps it might be easier to change your name.
18:56Oh, you think so?
18:58And what would you like me to be called?
19:00What?
19:01I don't know, really.
19:03I have always thought of you, though, as a bit of a Duncan.
19:08Just a joke.
19:10Nimmo often makes jokes.
19:12Really?
19:12I hadn't noticed.
19:14If anybody wants any more fried mushrooms,
19:16you'd better shout out now, otherwise Daniel's going to eat them.
19:18Yes, please.
19:19Actually, no, if you don't mind, I think I'll have an early night.
19:22Unless you want to talk further about the move to pacify.
19:24No, I just wanted to give you the broad details of the first opportunity.
19:28Oh, are you having an early night too, Mr Lewis?
19:30Yes, well, it's been a long day.
19:3330.2 hours, surely the same as every other day, orbiting could have stopped.
19:37Well, thank you for the drinks and the supper and everything.
19:40Thank you for coming.
19:41It's been a lovely evening.
19:43Hi, Rebecca.
19:44Natasha.
19:45Hello.
19:45All right.
19:49Here we are, the last of it.
19:50And they're classic, even if I say so myself.
19:52Are you sure you won't help finish it up, Professor?
19:54Or would you prefer a sunflower seed?
19:56Yes.
19:57You have had it now.
19:59You've really done it.
20:00He was poking and prying and trying to find things out.
20:03If that man ever has anything to do with your career, you are finished.
20:05He was laughing and just making snide remarks.
20:08Oh, Bimbo, you're such a hero.
20:12Oh.
20:13How's the baby?
20:14The what?
20:15Oh, the ship.
20:17She's fine.
20:18Normal.
20:19How was your dinner party?
20:21Awful.
20:22And it's just the late shuttle and then you can turn it over to Petra.
20:24What?
20:25You're not coming back to Comsen Gantry?
20:27Not till later.
20:29Look, if you're enjoying yourself, I don't mind keeping in the duty bunk.
20:33Sure.
20:34No trouble.
20:35See you tomorrow.
20:35Thanks, Drummond.
20:36Good night.
20:38All right.
20:39And I think that went very well, didn't you?
20:41How should I know?
20:42I was in the kitchen most of the time.
20:44Huh.
20:47What are we going to do with the leftovers?
20:49Sell them to Rebecca.
20:51Oh, I heard that.
20:53You liked them?
20:54You said you liked them anyway.
20:55Yes, I also know what got left.
20:56There was nothing wrong with the yam substitute, was there, Jim?
20:58Oh, that's what it was.
21:00Well, I haven't quite perfected it yet.
21:02Hey, did we get a tip?
21:04Did we get a tip?
21:05Did we?
21:08Wow, you must be in a good mood.
21:10You know, Rebecca, I think you ought to give us the entire franchise for the college.
21:12Now, hold on a minute, Daniel.
21:13I think we could give you a really competitive tender.
21:17Petra, message from Charles Breland to Mercedes page Island 5.
21:29Mercedes.
21:31What to say?
21:33To say that I haven't said before.
21:37Promises to make that I haven't already broken.
21:41You must have been mad ever to have got involved with me.
21:47Do you wish to continue message?
21:50Petra, that wasn't the message.
21:52What is the message you wish to transmit?
21:56Damned if I know.
22:03Is it someone's birthday?
22:05I think it's a divas party.
22:06What are they celebrating?
22:07How should I know?
22:09Oh, Gabby, oi, come here.
22:11Come here.
22:12What?
22:13What's going on?
22:14What?
22:15This?
22:15Why?
22:16Oh, Breland gave them the day off tomorrow.
22:18What?
22:18The whole day?
22:19I know something.
22:20You don't.
22:21What?
22:21We're going to Pacify next week.
22:23What did he say?
22:24Oh, we're going to Pacify next week.
22:26Oh, God, my parents are at Pacify.
22:28Yeah, Sir Byron's.
22:29Waste of work for him.
22:30His parents are worse than he is.
22:32What have you got against your parents?
22:34Nothing.
22:34I love my parents.
22:35I just wish they were somewhere else.
22:37Like where?
22:38Earth.
22:45So, can you do it?
22:46Yes, I can do it, Anna.
22:47But are you really sure you want me to?
22:49How much?
22:50Is it wise, Anna?
22:52Is it sensible?
22:54What do you care?
22:56I'm just thinking, is it the right thing to do?
22:58The right thing to do, Daniel.
23:01You are talking to me about doing the right thing.
23:04Ever since I've known you, you've lied, cheated, and stolen.
23:08And now you're questioning my moral judgment?
23:12Yes.
23:13No, it's not the right thing to do, but I don't care anymore.
23:16So, how much, Daniel, to get the job done?
23:23500 Equis.
23:25That's funny.
23:27That it should cost exactly 500 Equis.
23:30Well, you see, the cost of materials has skyrocketed and, um...
23:35You really need the whole 500?
23:36I think so.
23:38I'll see what I can do.
23:40In advance?
23:41Of course.
23:42Well, it's a deal then.
23:44That's funny.
23:47Then, I do better stand up.
23:59That's a deal, though.
24:01That's a deal.
24:04And, one second of your life is still on.
24:05I'm sure I can do that.
24:05I mean to do that.
24:07I mean to do that right now.
24:10Is it a lot of money right as a free zombie?
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