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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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Transcript
00:06Yeah?
00:07Yeah?
00:29Hello, it's me.
00:33Where are you?
00:37Where are you?
01:15Oh, Tranquility.
01:17It's great to see you.
01:19What are you doing here?
01:20I'm on the run.
01:22What?
01:22They found out it was me who freed the animals.
01:25What happened?
01:26They sent me to Space City.
01:28My family's at Calista, remember?
01:30Yeah.
01:31I didn't even leave the transit launch.
01:33I didn't give them a chance to get their class into me.
01:35I just slipped off the end of one queue and onto the end of another.
01:40Where are you going to go?
01:53Captain.
01:55Good morning, Professor.
01:57Yes, it is, isn't it?
01:58Morning.
01:59Long night.
02:01Too excited to sleep.
02:05It's all beginning.
02:07Compositional data on aerial nine.
02:09If you can prove there's extraterrestrial life.
02:12My money's on it.
02:14Even if it's only amoeba and slime walls.
02:17The sooner we get to pacify, the better.
02:20Has Mercedes optimized our course?
02:22Mercedes?
02:23Isn't she helping you on this?
02:25We're fully crewed, Professor.
02:27We don't need help on this trip.
02:29I thought she wanted to clock up flying hours for Navigation 7.
02:32I think she's decided to concentrate on her college research.
02:41Timmy?
02:43Are you feeling cold or something?
02:49Timmy?
02:52Can you get me something?
02:53Yeah, I do.
02:54I'll be there.
02:55Thanks.
02:55Have you thought of anywhere?
02:56Well, you're going to be all right in here until tonight.
02:59Then what?
03:00Well, I don't know.
03:01Oh, come on.
03:02There must be an empty room somewhere.
03:04Look, it's a very small ship, Tranquility.
03:06Oh, God.
03:07It's got to be the storage base, then.
03:09That's against safety regulations.
03:11I can take care of myself, OK?
03:13Their high security zones, Tranquility.
03:15They're just too difficult to get into without being seen.
03:18Look, are you sure this is a good idea?
03:21What is this?
03:23I think it's mushroom quiche.
03:25Oh, it's definitely our fault.
03:27Yeah.
03:28Oh, well, save it for Charles.
03:32What's so bad about staying with your parents, anyway?
03:35Look, just find out which bays are pressurized, please.
03:39OK, I'll do it.
03:41So you're not working in Comsen because of a personality clash?
03:44You could call it that, yes.
03:47New line-up in Comsen.
03:48It's always a delicate situation.
03:51Elliot Creasy was a cantank-resolved buzzard,
03:53but at least you knew where you stood with him.
03:56I think we ought to give a dinner party.
03:59What?
03:59You, me, Captain Kavitsky and Finn Bolois.
04:01Oh, my God, what a horrible thought.
04:03It's the obvious thing, an icebreaker.
04:04I cannot stand the woman, Charles.
04:06She's self-satisfied, she's pompous, and she's got no sense of humor.
04:10Now, now.
04:10And she's provincial.
04:12Well, it's very fitting for Jupiter's sister.
04:14You just need to get to know her.
04:16She's an arrogant bitch, Charles.
04:18Well, so are you, Mercedes.
04:20In the eyes of many, so are you.
04:23Yes?
04:24Some people appear cold, arrogant even,
04:27simply because they're sensitive and shy.
04:29I believe...
04:30Morning.
04:32Mr Lewis, of any person?
04:34Yes, Professor.
04:35I wonder if you and Captain Kavitsky would care to join us for dinner tonight.
04:38No.
04:39Dinner?
04:39Mmm, yes, that would be lovely.
04:42Obviously, I'll need to check.
04:43Busy mid-voyage social calendar?
04:45Well, we might be doing a slow orbital approach to Ganymede.
04:4824 hours before landfall.
04:50Yes.
04:51Right.
04:52Well, I'll check with Captain Kavitsky, then, shall I?
04:57There.
04:58That's settled.
05:00I think I'm going to have a headache tonight.
05:02You are going to be there.
05:05I can feel it coming on.
05:19I don't know what's going on.
05:21Right from the moment he stepped aboard this ship,
05:23he's made it quite clear we don't move in the same social circles,
05:26and now it's come over to my place for dinner.
05:29Twice in three weeks.
05:31Maybe he's seen you in a new light.
05:34I shouldn't think so.
05:35So, what did you say?
05:37Well, I couldn't think of anything to say, really, except thank you very much.
05:41I suppose we'd better go, then.
05:42Mercedes was in a foul mood.
05:44I think they've had a row.
05:46Sounds like we're in for a jolly old time.
05:49Look, um...
05:50Could you call him?
05:52Oh.
05:54I'll toss you for it.
05:57I wondered where you'd been hiding.
05:59Me?
06:00I'm keeping my head down and getting on with some work.
06:03The fascination of ring dynamics.
06:05Yes.
06:06Not to mention the cosy atmosphere in common sense.
06:09Two's company, three's a crowd, eh?
06:11Hmm.
06:12Do you know, I still can't believe it, but it's true.
06:14She loves him.
06:16I think it's rather sweet.
06:17I think it's rather tragic.
06:19Why are you so helpfully volunteering to take night watches, then?
06:22Pure self-interest.
06:23Computer access.
06:26Oh, Bulldog, there you are.
06:28Oh, and Rebecca.
06:28Great, great.
06:29I was just wondering, are you two doing anything this evening?
06:31Me?
06:32I'm analysing a lot of jolly interesting dynamical data on Saturn's ring systems.
06:36Stock taking.
06:37Yeah, well, forget all that and come to dinner, because Charles is entertaining.
06:41Again?
06:41It's eight o'clock.
06:43What?
06:43Be there.
06:44Great.
06:45That's funny.
06:46I've never found Charles very entertaining.
06:48Hmm.
06:51And suddenly Daniel wants me to move into his cabin to stop Byron moving in.
06:55Oh, well, personally, I can't see why anybody would want to share a cabin with Daniel Weatherby.
06:59Is it right?
07:00He's a bad influence, Jim.
07:02He's been a bad influence on you lots of times.
07:04Sarah.
07:05What?
07:05Sure up.
07:07Hawkins, the very man.
07:09Professor?
07:10How's the catering business these days?
07:11Oh, it's busy.
07:13Because I am in need of your services again.
07:15Oh, well, I'm sure we can fit you in somewhere.
07:19Something of a diplomatic crisis, you'll be doing the whole ship a great service.
07:22Well, it's very short notice.
07:24Something different.
07:25Something exotic.
07:27Oh, well, our Japanese tapas evenings are always a success.
07:3021st birthdays?
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:32The mitzvahs?
07:32I am not 21.
07:34Oh, no.
07:35But I do want something special.
07:37Well, it's all a question of what's available ingredient-wise.
07:40Whatever it costs.
07:41Money, no object.
07:42Oh, that'll help.
07:43I thought it might.
07:44Quiet dinner for two, is it?
07:45Four.
07:45Six.
07:46What?
07:47Oh, I invited Bulldog and Rebecca.
07:48Oh, Jim, one thing.
07:49Hmm?
07:49No tapas, all right.
07:55It's dinner for six.
07:56What am I going to do?
07:59Panic?
08:01Hope you don't mind.
08:03No, I don't at all.
08:04I always thought we should entertain more.
08:06Oh, yeah?
08:06Since when?
08:09Anyway, I suppose she is quite sexy, isn't she?
08:12Who?
08:13Your friend, the lady captain.
08:16Oh.
08:17Yes, I suppose she is.
08:18Quite looking forward to tonight, actually.
08:20Haven't seen much of old Bulldog lately.
08:24But, Daniel, we're in this together.
08:26The alternative catering company.
08:27Remember the people who care.
08:29Yeah, I'm sorry, Jim.
08:29I'm just a little bit bored with the whole thing.
08:31That's all.
08:31Oh, you can't just decide you're bored when you feel like it.
08:34Well, you see, that's the trouble with us entrepreneurs.
08:37Once the challenge is over, we have to move to the next project.
08:39Don't you mean once it's down to the hard slog, you're off.
08:43Look, Daniel, I've got carte blanche on this menu.
08:46We can charge Breland top prices.
08:47Yeah.
08:48Jim, Sarah, there has to be more to life.
08:51Are you ill or something, Daniel?
08:53No, it's just that my father's taken quite a liking to Melody for some reason.
08:58And he wants me to join the space commission.
09:00He's feeling very generous at the moment.
09:02And what about me?
09:04I'm sorry, Jim.
09:05I've just got a lot on at the moment.
09:07Well, you can tell Byron there's a spare bed in cabin three because I'm not moving in.
09:14Fine.
09:14See if I can care.
09:16Where are you going, Jim?
09:17The lecture's about to start.
09:18Yeah, and I've got a lot to do.
09:30Jim.
09:31Bloody Daniel.
09:32Yeah, I know.
09:33I'm going to have to phone up Breland and tell him I can't do it.
09:35No, you won't.
09:37What do you want Daniel for anyway?
09:38You're the one that does all the cooking.
09:40Because he's the one who dresses up.
09:41He organises everything.
09:43He gives them the wine.
09:44You know what a talker he is.
09:45I can't do all that.
09:46Jim, it's your cooking they want, not Daniel's chat.
09:50I can't do it all on my own, Sarah.
09:52Well, I'll help you.
09:56You?
09:57Well, if you want me to, yeah.
10:00Yeah.
10:01I'm not much of a cook, mind you.
10:03I know that.
10:04You're awful.
10:04Oh, thanks a lot.
10:06But it doesn't matter.
10:08Hey, I'm all right at some things.
10:10I could do a nice, um, three-bean casserole.
10:13Salmon steaks.
10:14What about a fish stew?
10:16Salmon steaks.
10:17With tarragon and cream sauce.
10:20And braised fennel.
10:23That's stuffed albergine.
10:24Ooh, sounds very classy.
10:26Yeah, I'll do the cooking and you can do the serving.
10:28Here, hold these.
10:29Well, shall I do the pudding, then?
10:31What about, um, a rhubarb crumble?
10:34Profiteroles.
10:35Shoe pastry filled with cream and topped with chocolate orange sauce.
10:39This is going to be unforgettable.
10:44Security warning.
10:46Unauthorised entry.
10:47Central storage bay, hacker.
10:49Electrovisual scan.
10:52Mr. Shaw.
10:55Oh, sorry.
10:57What are you doing down there, Mr. Shaw?
10:59Um, I got lost.
11:01Out now, or I'll set the security drones on you.
11:24No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
11:26What's wrong with that?
11:27You're taking too much of the pith.
11:28Look.
11:30Don't scrape the surface ever so lightly.
11:33OK.
11:34See?
11:35Haven't we got enough of that now, anyway?
11:36No, you've got most to do after that.
11:41Watch the angle.
11:43Yes, Jim.
11:44Don't like it like I had it.
11:46Yes, Jim.
11:51Well, I can't do it while you're stood there watching me, can I?
11:54Sorry.
11:59Look, I can do mashed aubergines, OK?
12:01Yeah, but I'm doing stuffed aubergines, Sarah.
12:03It's completely different.
12:04Yes, Jim, of course it is.
12:07And take that stupid hat off.
12:18Everything's ready?
12:19Good.
12:21You'd, uh, you'd better get changed.
12:23Why?
12:24Won't this do?
12:26Well, I mean, it's not, um, formal, is it?
12:30I'd like to think we were making efforts.
12:33All right.
12:34Hmm.
12:38No, Sarah, not like that.
12:40You said to chop it, Jim.
12:42Yeah, in long, thin, strands.
12:44It's part of the garnish, the look of things.
12:45Look, use this knife.
12:46I don't like using that knife.
12:47It's too sharp.
12:52See?
12:52It's not so hard, is it?
12:54No, Jim.
12:56Jim.
12:56Who?
12:58Nothing.
12:59Forget it.
13:05Right.
13:05We've got the can of paste sorbet out.
13:07We can cook the salmon in the wave of an over-and-gantry, too,
13:10and we'll reheat the rest of the stuff over there, right?
13:13Yes, sir!
13:14Sarah, this is serious.
13:15You've got to take this seriously.
13:16I am taking this seriously, Jim.
13:19I've nearly cut my blooming fingers off taking it seriously.
13:21There are two crucial elements in cooking,
13:23planning and timing.
13:25Oh, and presentation.
13:27Well, that's three, Jim.
13:28I want those thinner, Sarah, much thinner.
13:33Nibbles?
13:36Frecker?
13:36Thanks.
13:38Oops.
13:40Open.
13:42Good evening.
13:43Good evening.
13:44Mwah, Professor.
13:45Oh, what?
13:46OK.
13:48Sherry?
13:49Open up too late.
13:50Daniel was delayed getting up to calm soon.
13:53Yes, yes, it's very difficult to get a good babysitter these days.
13:57Hi, chaps.
13:58Let you out for the evening, has your bimbo?
14:00I don't mind moving to Pacify.
14:02You'd always like to change of scenery.
14:03Yeah, but the trouble with Pacify is it's a sort of place
14:06where you could settle down and raise a family.
14:08You mean no millionaires, no hotshot entrepreneurs?
14:11No, but full of earnest, scientific type.
14:16Mercedes, you haven't said good evening to our guests yet.
14:20It's been difficult to get a word in edgeways, Charles.
14:43Bimbo and Natasha have arrived.
14:45Oh, good.
14:46It's about time.
14:47I couldn't have held things up much longer.
14:48Yeah, well, the nibbles went down well, anyway.
14:51Canna pace, Sarah.
14:52I hope you didn't go around asking people if they wanted a nibble.
14:55Oh, you can't take me anywhere, can you, Jim?
14:58Oh, you can't take me anywhere.
14:58So there we were, complete comms blackout on the lee side of Jupiter.
15:02A one-in-a-thousand chance of every commsat being in the wrong position.
15:05Well, that's space for you, I.
15:07Yeah.
15:07So what did you do?
15:08Well, Saturn was behind us, like a great beacon in the sky, and I remembered the second
15:12Saturn expedition.
15:13The 2042 land survey of Titan and Mimas?
15:16Right.
15:16They left a probe on the surface of Titan to monitor weather conditions.
15:19Of course!
15:20So I thought, why not send our signal out of Jupiter's system and relay it via Titan?
15:26Sure enough, we got through, transmitted our intercept course, and made it back to the
15:30Prometheus with adequate funeral margins.
15:33Oh, brilliant.
15:36I've always said that mankind's survival in space depends upon its capacity for lateral
15:40thinking.
15:41Since then, I've been desperate to go to Saturn.
15:43The next fast transit window opens in 11 months.
15:47Oh, I'll be first in line for that mission.
15:48I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting the commission, Captain.
15:51You'll be the first woman out there.
15:52Oh, with any luck, I'll be the first woman to come back.
15:57Anyway, as I was saying before we digressed, I want Mercedes to set up an ultra comms link
16:02via the commsat network so we can monitor these vital developments on pacifier.
16:06Look, I can do that in lab five, Charles.
16:08Or Finbo can set it up and we'll patch it up.
16:10No, no, I'm sure Mr. Lewis will be quite occupied with his normal duties.
16:14This is a deedless project and Mercedes is the person to deal with it.
16:18In comms and, of course.
16:20So don't really think of that idea.
16:21Ladies, please.
16:23Well, there's really no problem, is there, Natasha, sweetie?
16:27In that case, we can sort it out here and now.
16:29I am sorry, Professor, but I prefer not to discuss crewing matters over dinner
16:33and with non-service personnel.
16:42A lovely meal, Mercedes.
16:44Mm, great.
16:46Charles organised everything.
16:51Oh, Jim!
16:53I don't understand.
16:56What's wrong?
16:57Everything!
16:58Commander Drummond is the only one eating anything.
17:01Oh, well, what could it have been?
17:03The sauce to be salty.
17:05Well, did they ever say anything?
17:07No, they...
17:08They said it was fine when I was serving it out.
17:10The vegetables were watery, but it must have been that.
17:12No, they looked fine to me, honestly.
17:14My reputation will be ruined.
17:16The pudding.
17:17It all depends on the pudding.
17:18Well, there's nothing wrong with that.
17:21Yeah.
17:21Yeah.
17:25Yeah.
17:27Is everything all right?
17:29Yes.
17:30Yes, yes, fine, thank you.
17:32Good.
17:36I'm looking forward to seeing Amalia.
17:38I've never been there.
17:40I hear it's really interesting.
17:43You mean because of the nickel and iron discovered that in 2016?
17:46Oh, yes.
17:47Yes.
17:48Which gave new credence to the theory that asteroids come from an exploded planet.
17:52A theory which had fallen into disrepute in the late 20th century.
17:55You recall Mercedes?
17:57How would I recall that?
17:59From your university days, that's all I meant.
18:02Oh.
18:03Good nosh, Charles.
18:06Yeah.
18:07Yeah.
18:08New girls.
18:10Always dieting.
18:11Oh.
18:17I should have known it would have been a disaster.
18:19Look, Dean.
18:20Both you know and I know that the food was perfectly fine.
18:23I'm going to call Brelin and tell me we can forget about the bill.
18:26You will not.
18:28Look, you can cut the atmosphere in there with a knife.
18:31It's nothing to do with us.
18:32I tried, Sarah.
18:33I really tried.
18:35Oh, I know you did.
18:41Poor Anna.
18:43And yet she's convinced she saw what she saw.
18:45Well, the last thing I need is students getting silly about going into the dome.
18:49Why don't you and I camp out there one night, show them just how safe it is?
18:53No, I don't think so.
18:54Ghosts I don't mind, but saints I'm steering well clear of.
19:02Oh, goodness me.
19:03Well, I think it's about time we got back to Compton, actually.
19:05Course adjustment at 2200.
19:08Thank you very much for dinner, Professor.
19:11Good night.
19:12Good night.
19:13Good night, everyone.
19:15Good night.
19:16Thank you for coming.
19:17Good night.
19:17It's been lovely.
19:18Lovely.
19:18Good night.
19:19Good night.
19:23More brandy?
19:25Hmm.
19:30Fill it up, Charles.
19:36I hope I never have to go through that again.
19:39My God, I hope I never have to go through that again.
19:41Good food.
19:42What?
19:43Good food.
19:44Charles' best brandy.
19:46Hey, you two.
19:47Great grub.
19:48Thanks.
19:49Yes, very nice.
19:50I don't think I like getting caught up in other people's domestic squabbles.
19:52No, I thought it was all quite entertaining.
19:55You?
19:55You were too busy eating to notice what was going on.
19:57Look, I felt a serious responsibility to do justice to Jim's great cooking.
20:02Look, there's no need to go on about it, all right?
20:04This is the worst night of my life.
20:06You know he's never going to cook again.
20:08What?
20:09Well, most of the food didn't even get eaten.
20:11Yes, it did.
20:12I ate it.
20:14Best food I've had since leaving Callisto.
20:25You were all over her.
20:27The purpose of the evening, in case you forgot, was to be friendly.
20:31Friendly, yes, Charles, not groveling.
20:33Did I object to your being friendly to Drummond, kissing him goodnight while I was there?
20:37I will kiss who I like, where I like.
20:40Fine.
20:41I can handle that.
20:42And I happen to find Natasha refreshing and admirable, okay?
20:46We are not talking about the same thing.
20:48I'm talking about plain, simple loyalty, Charles.
20:52You know we don't get on.
20:55If you are jealous of Natasha, that's your problem.
20:58Jealous?
20:59Yes.
21:00Jealousy is your territory, Charles.
21:17Honestly, Jim Hawkins, if we have to go through this every time you do a bit of cooking, then it's
21:24never going to last.
21:25It's not usually as traumatic as this.
21:27Yes.
21:28Well, I could cheerfully have killed you several times this evening.
21:33Thanks for your help, Sarah.
21:34I don't know what I'd have done without you.
21:36Mm-hmm.
21:41An evening like that reminds me of all the joys of being single.
21:44Yeah, the question now is, will Brelin and Mercedes outlast Fimbo and Natasha?
21:48You know, I'd really like to see something go well for Fimbo.
21:50Well, yeah, but I mean, what a waste.
21:52I mean, what a waste?
21:53Brelin and Mercedes sort of deserve each other.
21:55No one deserves Charles Brelin.
21:57Tell you what, I wouldn't get them to the end of the voyage on current form.
22:00I won't give Fimbo and Natasha as long as that.
22:01Want a bed?
22:03Yeah, you're on.
22:04Open.
22:17Uh, lights.
22:20Lights.
22:21Daniel.
22:24Go away.
22:25Daniel, I want to ask you something.
22:27What?
22:28I've got this friend hiding on the ship.
22:29You've got a friend?
22:30Yeah, from Island 5.
22:31Need somewhere to stay tonight.
22:32You've got a friend hiding on the ship?
22:34Yeah.
22:35You wouldn't be a sort of hamster friend, would it, Timmy?
22:37No, Daniel.
22:37A prisoner of the system.
22:39Well, take the brat to Rebecca.
22:40Get her to sort him out.
22:41Please, Daniel.
22:43Just for one night.
22:45All right, for one night.
22:47But get him out by the morning, will you?
22:48All right, thanks.
22:49All right.
22:53Daniel.
22:53What?
22:55Here we are.
22:56Don't worry.
22:57He says it's okay.
22:59Okay, I'll, I'll see you in the morning.
23:12All right.
23:39All right.
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