- 4 hours ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:07When some giant slug comes right up to your rug, say hello to Evolution.
00:14When some alien cell starts to mutate and swell, say hello to Evolution.
00:30Just when it's out of control, the alienator holds, so say goodbye to Evolution.
00:37This hero team has got control of the scene, Evolution.
00:46Well, Kane, this is a day that'll change the course of history.
00:49While you are out wasting the government's money with your undisciplined antics.
00:54Oh, you mean saving the world on a daily basis.
00:56But hey, let's not quibble about technicalities.
01:00Regardless, your services will not be necessary after today.
01:04You're not the only scientist in town, you know.
01:07Spinkler and Matheson here have been working to create a virus that wipes out the genus permanently.
01:13Yes, when our new Spinkler-Matheson virus, TM, infects genus cells,
01:19the engineered strain will completely destroy the genus's ability to evolve.
01:25The genus will simply wither and perish.
01:29Up high, Dr. Matheson.
01:31Down low, Dr. Spinkler.
01:32If it takes these guys to save the world, I'm not sure it's worth saving.
01:36But every soldier carrying this new viral weapon, there'll soon be no more genus.
01:40No more threat. No more need for you and your clowns, Dr. Kane.
01:45I'm gonna get you gassy. Yes, I am.
01:49A government that spends $10,000 on a hammer ought to be able to afford a cup of coffee that
01:54doesn't taste like potting soil.
01:57Shh! They're starting.
01:59Here. I took the liberty of drafting up your letter of resignation. You're going to need it.
02:05You did that for me? I'm touched.
02:14It's working. Fascinating.
02:17I smell Nobel Prize, Dr. Spinkler.
02:28Warning. Warning.
02:31Dangerous organism detected.
02:33Implementing emergency containment procedures alpha.
02:36Evacuation of all civilian personnel in heaven.
02:44Warning. Warning. Warning.
02:47Uh, something tells me we're not getting out of here.
02:52Code one alert. The CIV facilities are under full lockdown.
02:59We've gotta get down there.
03:08We need to contain this and fast.
03:13I know how to get help. Daisy?
03:17Daisy? What, is there a cow in the room I'm not seeing?
03:20Daisy, I need a full genetic breakdown of the genus contaminant.
03:23I'm sorry. I can't do that, Dr. Reed.
03:26Per my updated military protocols, all verbal commands are overridden to prevent further human error.
03:32Well, thank goodness for that. Thanks, Daisy. You've been so helpful.
03:37You're welcome, Dr. King. And might I say, it's been an honor working with you today.
03:42Okay, not a big fan of Daisy right now. Come on, Dr. Reed. We can do this.
03:49There has to be something here that will work.
03:54We're going down two levels to the laboratory.
03:57Aw, you can't go down. You have to go up.
04:00You have to evacuate with us up to the decontamination levels.
04:04Stow it. I'm authorized.
04:09But how are we gonna get down there?
04:11The stairwells are sealed off.
04:17We can't walk. We can't ride. Hmm. Looks like we climb.
04:22It is against regulations to use the elevator shafts in this fashion. It is also unsafe.
04:28Who said that?
04:29I am the D5000 computer responsible for the CID facilities. You may call me Daisy.
04:35Hi, Daisy. I'm Wayne and these are my pals.
04:38Wayne? What? I'm just making conversation.
04:43I'm sorry to disappoint you, Daisy, but we're going down that shaft.
04:48I'm afraid you can't do that.
04:51Just watch me.
04:56Hey, Jen, you think your scientist could stop screaming long enough for me to hear myself think?
05:02Spinkler! Matheson! Do something!
05:05Whoa!
05:06Never mind. It's too late.
05:08Because I've already found the answer. I hope.
05:11Glyphosate, a chemical often used in weed killers mixed with selenium, should...
05:15Whoa!
05:22Dr. Reed! The glyphosate!
05:24Heads up!
05:36I was too slow.
05:39Airborne contaminant detected. Entire facility compromised.
05:44Rub it in, why don't you?
05:46Proceeding to containment protocol Omega.
05:48Um, pray tell, what is protocol Omega?
05:52Um, there's a proton bomb at the core of the CID.
05:57It will eradicate the entire facility to prevent a viral outbreak.
06:02A proton bomb? That's not very helpful. It won't destroy the genus. The heat will only make the genus stronger.
06:08But hey, look at the bright side. It won't be our problem. The bomb will wipe us out.
06:12Look! The defenses were put into place when this was a viral research facility.
06:16We've ordered a replacement system, but it's a little behind schedule.
06:21Huh. No big surprise there.
06:22And speaking of surprises, I thought you guys had about ten PhDs between you.
06:27But you managed to overlook three separate strands of genus DNA.
06:30The genus isn't a toy. You guys should have been more careful.
06:33Dr. Reed, I am happy to report the evacuation is 97.2% complete, that I am currently operating at
06:4199.3% efficiency, and detonation of the proton bomb will occur in 29 minutes and 36 seconds.
06:49Is there anything else I can do for you right now, Dr. Reed?
06:53Um, I'll get back to you on that.
06:59Lieutenant, I need you guys down here. We got a couple of big problems.
07:03Already on our way, Doc.
07:11I don't know, Lieutenant. A fire hose wasn't meant to be used like this.
07:15Just keep going. We'll make it.
07:19Elevator doors may not remain open during Code One emergencies.
07:24Hurry!
07:29Whoa!
07:36Whoa!
07:40Open the door, Harry!
07:42Whoa!
07:43Whoa!
07:45Hurry, Harry!
07:47All elevator doors must remain closed.
07:50Yeah, you know what, Daisy? You're really starting to tick me off.
07:54Implementing cleansing sweep of Shaft 3.
07:57Hurry, Harry!
08:02Harry!
08:02Harry!
08:03That's right, baby. It takes CO2 to tango.
08:08Okay, swing, Wayne! Swing!
08:10Whoa!
08:13Whoa!
08:17Whoa!
08:19Whoa!
08:21Whoa!
08:24Man, that computer lady means business.
08:27Huh?
08:31All right, I figured out a little to-do list.
08:34Given my analysis of the new strain, we need to fight the viral element.
08:38We have to combine elements of a flu vaccine with our current mix of glyphosate and selenium hydroxide.
08:44Then we have to get to the med lab.
08:46Of course it would be helpful if we could shut down that proton bomb before it wipes us all out
08:52and spreads the genus spores over the entire tri-state area.
08:58We're ready.
09:00Oh, and one more thing. General, you take this letter of resignation. You might be needing it.
09:07Kane? Huh? I guess I had that coming.
09:17We got here as fast as we could.
09:20Protocol breach. Movement of contaminant detected. Ceiling hallway blue three.
09:26Run for it!
09:28Hold that door!
09:37Go, Dr. Reed, go!
09:47We'll have to access the manual override to shut down the security system surrounding the computer.
09:52Why can't we just shut up, I mean shut down, Daisy?
09:56Because we need the computer to run the ventilation system so we can clean the genus out of the entire
10:00facility.
10:01And it will also need to be running in order to shut down the bomb.
10:05Next time, I'm not going anywhere without my devolver.
10:08Volleyball match, devolver. The supermarket, devolver. The movies, I'll set the devolver on vibrate.
10:15Hey, it's not your fault, Harry. This is the CID. Who would have thought there'd be an outbreak?
10:20Who, indeed.
10:23Yeah! That thing is disgusting!
10:27Heh. Sorry, General, but for some reason, Gassie has a thing for ya.
10:30Aw, isn't that sweet? You're kinda like an uncle to little Gassie. Give Gassie a big kiss.
10:37We don't have time for this nonsense!
10:40Oh, sure we do. We've got a whole twenty minutes before the place is vaporized with us in it.
10:46This reminds me of the championship game between the Hemetville Patriots and Angel Island Sharks.
10:52The Patriots had two seconds left and they tried a wristy lateral to tight end.
10:56So, did they win?
10:57Nah, they didn't even come close. It was pathetic. Worst game in history.
11:03Okay, thanks for the inspirational moment, Harry. Now, we've got nineteen minutes.
11:07We'll make the new mix, you guys stop the security system, and we'll meet you in the middle.
11:10Do or die, Doc.
11:12Why do I not like the sound of that?
11:17It's no good. The way's blocked. There's too many pods.
11:21There! We can crawl through the ventilation system.
11:27The ventilation ducts are not designed for personnel transport.
11:32Daisy, you are really getting on my nerves.
11:37There's more of them, and they're not getting any prettier.
11:40Uh, guys, speaking of not getting prettier, I feel a mutation coming on again.
11:54Lieutenant, you're locked and loaded.
12:03Thanks, Doc. Now let's move.
12:07There's the med lab.
12:09Nice landscaping. But personally, I prefer potted plants. You know, burns, ficus. What about you, General?
12:16Matheson! Spinkler! Take care of those things.
12:21No, don't! We're gonna need every last ounce of that for the big finale.
12:25Now, I gotta ask myself what firemen, training, Wayne Green would do.
12:30This one's for you, kiddo.
12:44You're gonna be fine.
12:46Welcome to med lab. Emergency protocol dictates free access to this area at all times.
13:02You!
13:10Hmm. It's no devolver, but it ought to do.
13:15Is this a security override room?
13:17No, but it's right next door.
13:21Two more milligrams of the antiflubosol.
13:23Uh, I believe one milligram would be sufficient.
13:28Excellent point, Dr. Spinkler.
13:30Well, we've already seen what happens when you guys do the thinking.
13:34Spinkler! Matheson! Stop thinking! You've caused enough trouble.
13:37Placing your trust in me, General? I'm flattered.
13:40Don't get used to it. I'm only doing it out of... desperation.
13:45All done.
13:46Just the way you wanted it, Dr. D.
13:49Good work! Let's just hope they can shut down the security so we can get this into the ventilation system.
14:05Finished!
14:05Huh?
14:08There it is. The manual override switch.
14:11Easy.
14:12Yeah. Too easy.
14:14Cue Daisy.
14:16I am happy to report that the security control room has a 99.8% effective defense. Nothing can move
14:23inside the room.
14:24Thanks, Daisy.
14:26Lieutenant Mai, set your visor to 85.5 frequency.
14:42Here comes the other team.
14:45And they're on the move!
14:53There's the computer core. They must have already shut the defenses down.
14:59Boy, General, when you're wrong, you are so wrong.
15:03Wow!
15:06What the hell?
15:08Pizza! Pizza!
15:09Pizza!
15:22Careful! Don't let them spray you. The pollen spores are very poisonous.
15:32Ha! How's my accuracy, Daisy?
15:37Ugh!
15:38Less than 100%.
15:40Everybody's a critic.
15:43Manual override engaged.
15:46Security systems offline.
15:49They did it! Let's go!
16:02Wait, Harry! Come on!
16:04Let's get out of here, kiddo!
16:09Harry's hurt!
16:16Quick! Through here!
16:18The computer core is just on the other side.
16:26Finish the game, Ira. Before it finishes us.
16:30You! You have medical degrees, right?
16:32You have to save my friend.
16:34Don't worry. We'll save him.
16:43Dr. Reid, we need to put this into the ventilation system.
16:46Put it by vet number three.
16:51What are you doing, Dr. Reid?
16:53Stay out of it, Daisy.
16:55I'm activating emergency air flow reversal.
17:00We've got company!
17:01They're coming in the back door!
17:03Over here, too!
17:33It worked! All the levels are cleared!
17:37Daisy, the genus has been devolved. Cancel detonation of the proton bomb.
17:41I'm sorry, Dr. Reid, but I can't do that.
17:44What? Why not?
17:47The five-minute window has been breached. Bomb detonation imminent.
17:52What five-minute window?
17:53Code three alpha dictates any living being that has come in contact with contaminant.
17:59Must be eradicated.
18:01That's us!
18:03All right, all right. I put that in. But we have to be safe!
18:07Safe? I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling really safe right now.
18:14It's my computer. I'll reprogram it.
18:17How'd we do, Ira?
18:18Well, the good news is, thanks to these two gentlemen, you're gonna be fine.
18:23That's great!
18:24The bad news is, the bomb's about to detonate.
18:27Oh, man. I could've done without the bad news.
18:32Nothing's working!
18:34The detonation program is hardwired into my system.
18:37I am very sorry, Dr. Reid. It has been a pleasure working with you.
18:41Ten seconds.
18:43Nine...
18:45Eight...
18:46Ten...
18:47Six...
18:48Five...
18:49Four...
18:50Three...
18:51Two...
18:52Four...
18:53Three...
18:54Three...
18:56Three...
18:57How about a nice day of chess...
19:00Three...
19:01Good night, Dr. Reid.
19:03It's been an honor, Dr. Kane. If there's anything you need, just name it.
19:07Actually, you could help me clean up this mess!
19:11Your genus cells are everywhere!
19:23and thanks to the swift actions of general woodman we are once again safe from the horrible alien
19:29menace general woodman in gratitude for your service above and beyond the call of duty
19:35please accept this medal general woodman but i it wasn't me
19:49ira you are the man i am harry yes i am
20:11so
20:13so
20:18so
20:19so
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