00:00When a woman expresses to a wounded man how she feels or brings to his awareness how or where he
00:07could show up better,
00:09all he hears is that there is something wrong with you.
00:13It triggers the implicit memory of the original pain of what he experienced as a little boy,
00:19where he thought and felt that there was something inherently wrong with who he was.
00:24So he felt this need to have to defend or protect himself from that toxic shame that he experienced as
00:31a boy.
00:31So when his partner brings to his awareness how he could show up better or she expresses how she feels,
00:37all he sees is that it's an attack on his nervous system, that there is something wrong with him.
00:42So he goes into shutdown, defend, he goes quiet, he becomes passive or even reactive,
00:49where he completely misses the opportunity to step up or to face a deeper part of himself
00:54that's preventing him from being and creating the safe space that she's asking and seeking for.
01:00When a man heals the little boy, he no longer sees the emotional expression or the feedback from a woman
01:07as an attack on his nervous system, there's something wrong with him.
01:11And instead, he sees it as an opportunity.
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