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89lbs journey
Jugging Water
Valentine's Day shopping
Game night with Krystle's Grandma
Dinner date
Outfits of the day
Boardgames
Snow days
Transcript
00:00Good morning, everybody. I did weigh myself and I wanted to share that with you guys. As you guys
00:04know, I was on a weight loss journey before and I lost 89 pounds. I had one serving of Morningstar
00:10Buffalo veggie nuggets, which was five nuggets.
00:20I would cut them up in super tiny pieces. Me and my ex both would.
00:24And the reason why we did that was to make our food last longer. We would sometimes allow
00:30ourselves to have a string cheese with that. We weren't counting calories. We were just
00:34watching our portions. But then later in the day, her mom would actually cook for us. Her mom was
00:39relatively healthy. So that made it so much easier. Every time she would cook, it was always like a
00:43meat, a veggie and a carb. So when it was a meat, it was usually normally always chicken. So it made
00:49it really easy, like small, medium. I would have one piece of chicken. If it was large, I would cut
00:54it in half. When it was the carb, it was always like rice or a potato type of thing. I've lost
00:5989 pounds eating nothing but rice and potatoes. When it was veggies, I'd probably have a scoop or
01:04two. That was my second meal. And that's all I would eat until later on in the night, we would
01:09allow ourself one snack. Our snack were these like 100 calorie little things. Like it was like
01:15Luna cookies or whatever you call them, goldfish. We made sure to get all kinds of different sort of
01:21snacks that were only 100 calories. I was barely eating 800, 900 calories a day, but I didn't know
01:28that at the time. I just knew that I felt great and the weight was dropping off. My starting weight
01:33was 420. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I feel like I really hold that story to my heart. The fact that
01:40I was down 89 pounds at one point in my life is a very big accomplishment. I have been holding onto it
01:46so much that I feel possibly overwhelmed because of how much weight I have gained. I thoroughly feel
01:54like it's just time for me to move on from that. I haven't been on that exact journey for two and a
02:01half years and I need to move on. I always start fresh. It's like the story of my life because I'm
02:06always making mistakes and mess ups and slip ups. My binge eating just gets so crazy that I just cannot
02:13find myself. I really believe that a lot of it is the fact that I am overwhelmed. I always, always,
02:19always, always, always remind myself that once I was down 89 pounds and instead of it motivating me,
02:24it under motivates me. I have decided to completely just wipe clean every single pound I've already
02:32lost. I'm going to, you know, keep it in my heart. Once I truly lose 100 pounds, of course,
02:38I'll celebrate it. But as of right now, I am starting completely fresh the whole new starting
02:45weight for this journey. This will be weigh-in one, completely fresh. I'm honestly devastated.
02:51I'm just gonna move on, accept it, let it kick me in the butt so it'll motivate me. I'm gonna become
02:58dedicated, determined, inspired. I'm going to prove everybody wrong and myself. For February 9th,
03:062015, my starting weight is 388.8. Every day, I'm gonna try my hardest with drinking 101.4
03:13FL ounces of water. This is gigantic. It's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna try to aim for it. If I
03:19don't succeed, that's okay as long as I'm chugging away. Water is insanely good for you. It flushes out
03:25all the toxins in your body. It helps you stay full throughout the day. It hydrates you. A lot of the time,
03:31you think you're hungry, but you're actually thirsty. So pick up your water and chug, chug,
03:35chug. You guys are going to be with me for my first chug.
03:43I've actually read a lot of different places that you're actually not supposed to drink water an hour
03:49before you eat and an hour after. It causes like acid. I ain't listening to it. I ain't listening to it.
03:56Every time Charlie sleeps, he covers his face. He's so soft. Look at him. He just wants to be
04:03loved. I already started eating, but I'm having a Genio turkey burger, brown rice,
04:12and some peas with lots of pepper. I'm gonna feed my animals. This is where we keep the cat food.
04:19Chicken and salmon stew. And then I guess a roasted chicken dinner and meaty juices. They make
04:26it sound so gross. You hungry? Huh? A little pre-workout snack is just a plain rice cake with a
04:35little bit of organic natural peanut butter. I really, really like that boost I get from just
04:40a tiny little snack before I work out. Peanut butter and a rice cake is perfect for that. Charlie,
04:45look at him. The weather right now is really, really bad out and it's hard to see. We should
04:54be at the gym here in a minute. We just got out of the gym sitting in the parking lot. I never,
04:59ever, ever, ever get headaches. The last couple of days I've been dealing with one. Today it's been
05:04by far the worst. So I went into the gym with a headache. I thought I was gonna be able to like
05:08work out around it, but I guess I couldn't. I got tired faster. I felt really just like slouchy.
05:14My head was throbbing. I only did half of what I usually do. The whole time I was truly dreading
05:20it. I wanted to just leave the gym and that's not me. I normally really, really, really enjoy
05:26myself. And I'm not the only one with a headache. Crystal has a really, really bad headache as well
05:30today, but she always gets headaches. So it's not like something different, but definitely it's not
05:35fun to work out when you have a headache. On top of that, like I just got over being sick. I've been
05:39really bad with my eating besides today, obviously. I haven't worked out in a long time. Just the whole
05:45thing, everything mixed together, I feel like I could have done a lot better. I worked out for 30
05:50minutes and I pushed as hard as I could. I burnt a lot of calories, so that's a plus. My overall
05:55assessment is honestly, I am just proud of myself for even going and sticking through it as much as
06:01I didn't want to. My face is red from the car in front of us. Oh, that was like, literally,
06:05I looked really scary. What was that? It's 8 11 right now and I am like pretty tired. I'm beat
06:14feeling. Crystal and I only got less than like four hours of sleep last night, so we're both like super
06:20tired. The reason why you can actually see my face now is because I put down this little thing.
06:27That actually is very helpful in life. Look at this, you guys. I finished this whole thing and
06:33I have never done that before. Literally shocked right now. I'm gonna end my vlog. Thank you guys
06:37so much for watching and I will see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning, everybody. My vlog is
06:42currently uploading right now. I had a few people come on Ask.fm thinking I was lying about uploading a
06:47video. Just saw this mess. I'm definitely not lying. I just figured it'd be a lot easier. Every single
06:54vlogger that I've ever watched always uploads their videos the next day. I figured I'd give it
06:58a go and it actually gave me a lot of free time last night. I wasn't worried about coming home from
07:02the gym. Like it wasn't like taking over my mind. My vlogs tend to take over my mind. I always worry
07:08when I'm gonna upload it and stuff like that. I just made this spaghetti. We're not doing spaghetti
07:14this way. It's happening in Berlin. And I can show you the ingredients. It is a vegetable tricolor
07:20rotini pasta. Some of this roasted garlic and herb prego Italian sauce. Simply balanced spinach and
07:27garlic turkey meatballs. And of course, white onion. That's everything. I weighed in today. As you guys
07:33know, I was 388.8 just yesterday and today I was.
07:41That means I'm down 3.2 in just one day. I've been having a little bit of controversial
07:48discussions over on Ask.fm. Some people think that I will not lose weight with cliff bars,
07:54which is odd to me. Some people constantly are complaining that I eat Panera Bread. Funny
07:59situation is I had a cliff bar yesterday and I also had Panera Bread and I'm still down 3.2 in one day.
08:05It just goes to show that everybody's different. Everybody loses weight differently. Never copy someone
08:11else because their program might not work for you and vice versa. I will not be weighing in daily
08:16because that is when my mind gets all commobulated. I was just very curious how I did the first day
08:22back on track. Sit. Stay.
08:32Good boy.
08:35Crystal and I realized that going to the gym at night, we just didn't feel like in our zone because at night
08:40you're getting tired. The night's just mellowing down. I don't think we liked it very much after like
08:45sleeping on it and realizing it. We might just start going in the morning like we used to do. We're
08:50also going to like switch off and like some days we're going to work out at home and do like an
08:54exercising DVD because those freaking are hard. It obviously depends on like which one you choose.
09:00If you're ever wanting ice cream, you guys should definitely try these frozen Greek yogurts by Yasso.
09:05They have tons and tons and tons and tons of different flavors. My favorite is mint chocolate chip.
09:10We also have a vanilla bean, which is super delicious. It's only a hundred calories.
09:15It is so good. I could show you the stats. A hundred calories, two fat, 35 sodium, zero fiber,
09:22five protein. It's not bad at all. The ingredients aren't bad either. They're just so delicious.
09:29Honestly, this is the best frozen yogurt brand I have ever had and it's frozen Greek yogurt. So
09:35yes. You guys, I am so, so, so, so excited for Valentine's Day. Crystal and I are always going
09:43on dates, but what makes Valentine's Day more special is because she's completely surprising
09:48me on where we're going. I have no clue. I told her, do not tell me. We're going to get in the car.
09:55We're going to drive. I'm not going to have any idea where we're going because most of the restaurants
09:59we do go to are like all in the same location. So I'm going to have no idea and I'm just excited.
10:03I really like that surprise feeling of it. So currently I'm just watching Netflix
10:08on my laptop. I'm watching Pretty Little Liars, of course. I'm on season three, episode 23. Literally
10:14obsessed. I don't know why, but I just had a gallstone attack. I haven't had one in years.
10:23It's probably been about two years now. I kind of still feel it faintly. My eating's been on point
10:29yesterday and today, so I find it kind of odd. I always feel like gallstone sickness
10:33when I'm eating healthier. Funny situation is I had a Clif Bar yesterday and I also had Panera bread
10:39and I'm still down 3.2 in one day. I don't know if it's because I am eating less fat than I normally
10:45would. My gallstones are like confused about it, but an actual attack I haven't had in so long. If you
10:51guys have ever had gallstones, you know that pain that is indescribable. Hoping it doesn't happen
10:57again. I'm just going to have to end my vlog tonight, you guys, and I hope you enjoyed it
11:00and I'll see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning, everybody. I have been insane addicted to Pretty
11:05Little Liars. I have a theory. I'm almost 100% sure I know who like the queen BA is. If you guys
11:12don't watch Pretty Little Liars and you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm going to go back and
11:15I'm going to watch season one, episode one, and I'm going to see if I can like find more clues.
11:20I am part of the Pretty Little Liars crazy fan club. Yes, I am. I just got my love with food box.
11:26I'm so, so excited. So we're going to open it and then I'll show you what was in it. All right,
11:31here we go. I'm going to open it. Ooh, look at all that. This box this month was super good. We got
11:37one of these cake batter cookie thins, two bags of baked mac and cheese puffs, two bags of kettle
11:44olive oil cooked chips. Crystal's over here making fun of me. We have one blueberry coconut energy bar,
11:51almond honey energy bar. They gave us some bees, I'm assuming because St. Patrick's Day is coming up,
11:57some pork clouds and rosemary sea salt, two of these lemon wafer bites, two hot chocolates,
12:05four tiny little milk chocolates, four of these toffee crunch candies, I'm assuming, and four
12:11Crioli seasonings. So not shabby, not shabby. Our box came like pretty much perfect timing. So it's
12:18our snack time. We're going to try the cake batter cookie crisp. Crystal and I are just going to share
12:22a bag. I want to try it on camera. They look like so. They smell like kind of like shortbread cookies,
12:29which I love. So good. Do you guys like Crystal's new bracelet? How beautiful. That must have cost it
12:39a fortune. Styling. Styling profiling. How much was it? 10,000? A million. A million. Oh, okay. I just
12:47got out of the bath. I'm using frosted bloom as my body spray from Victoria's Secret. It's a iced
12:54cranberry and white jasmine. Smells so delicious. And I'm also using Amber Romance from Victoria's
13:00Secret as per usual. It's amber and cream. I haven't put it on yet. I know some people have
13:05asked me before why I used to. Habits, habits, habits. Every day I was bullied. I was the smelly
13:10kid. Crystal and I just played Where in the World, which is about geography and she won. So I wanted to
13:16choose a random card and tell you some random facts about somewhere in the world. All right,
13:20here we go. Africa, Tunisia. That is what the flag looks like. The capital is Tunis. The population
13:27is 11 million. The monetary unit is Tunisian dinar. The literacy rate high, 74.3%. Major
13:35language is Arabic. Major religion is Islam. Major export is textiles. Major import is textiles. And
13:42major sea coast is Mediterranean Sea. I really like flipping through these and learning about it.
13:46Let me do it. I get the baby. What is this? Why do you have blood on your nose, huh? Are you okay?
13:52He is such an old man. I hope he's all right. I don't know what that blood is. Are you okay?
13:59So far, three days in a row. Drink it all. Crystal's mom has a delicious pork roast type thing.
14:07Marinating in some sauce in the crock pot for tomorrow. What she'll do is she'll take this
14:12and put it in the crock pot. This crock pot's amazing. She's had a lot of crock pots in the
14:17past, I think, but this one's one of the better ones that she's gotten. There are so many different
14:21types of buttons to use. If you guys are curious, she got it from Target or Walmart. It's really nice.
14:27Let me put it back. Hide the little wire so the cats don't chew on it. I gotta be honest,
14:32today has been a pretty bad day for me, like emotionally. I stayed on track food-wise,
14:37so you don't have to worry about that. The water is completely gone. I found out some really,
14:42really, really tough news today. It's actually extremely personal. Even before the bad news,
14:48I kind of broke down. I've been thinking lately of going to OA, which is Overeaters Anonymous. I
14:53shared that news with some people and I expressed to them that I've been binge eating and it's getting
14:59really out of hand. I kind of just feel like not everyone is going to understand. Not everyone's
15:03going to know what to say to me. I just wish, you know, people cared more and that's kind of just
15:08in the place I'm in right now. I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
15:13We just woke up. We're going to get ready to go to the grocery store. It's snowing right now. Look
15:18how pretty it is. I wish I could capture it on video, like as crazy as it looks in person,
15:24but you just can't. It doesn't work that way with videoing. We got some ginormous snowflakes on our
15:29hands. They're so big. Some of them I actually see the snowflake design and it's so pretty. My
15:35computer was spazzing out for some reason, like really bad. I restarted it and it said it had 13
15:41updates and it's literally been taken forever. If you guys are wondering, I have the Gateway laptop.
15:47It's actually the first laptop I've ever had. I never want to get rid of it. I hope it doesn't
15:51ever break. Knock on wood. All right, Crystal and I are going to the store because it stopped snowing.
15:57We forgot the bags in the garage. Oh, it's cold. I'm going to get them real quick. All right.
16:04Tons and tons of grocery bags. Just walked into Walmart and I swear it's like freaking Valentine's
16:11Day galore everywhere. Here you go, babe. It's for you. Happy V-Day.
16:22Looking at the protein bars. This little fella is 390 calories. That is insane to me. Lately,
16:32I've been really liking this mint power crunch. It's only 205 calories. It has 13 protein. Only
16:39five sugar. I think that's really good. Most protein bars have a lot of sugar. I spy tons and tons of
16:45yummy, delicious candles. Oh, that smells so good. Rose. The color of this one.
16:55Island waves. Oh my god, that smells so good. Purple sands is cute too.
17:02That smells like a starburst. One more. Crystal, show up there. Look at all these.
17:20Look at all those too. Show up. It's just endless balloons. Okay. There you go. Look it. She's not a good
17:30filmer. She's not used to it. Look at all that. It just goes for a mile. We're making something
17:40special for Christmas appearance and I'll show you when we're done. Mix it all up and then put a handful.
17:50I don't want to be loud. I don't want to be loud. I'm a handful.
18:00Okay. Okay, we will.
18:03Set it up right now. Why don't y'all carry it? Sure. Okay, we will.
18:06Let me get this trash out real quick. As you guys know, I really love Yasos, which are frozen Greek
18:13yogurts and they taste like ice cream and they're really delicious. We got chocolate chip cookie dough.
18:19I've never tried it before. I'm a big supporter of Yasos. They're really, really delicious. As I've
18:24looked at the packaging, I'm reading something on it that makes me kind of uneasy. Time heals all wounds,
18:30but dessert heals them faster. I don't like that really. That's why I'm obese because of my wounds.
18:36I wanted to feed them and that was like my medicine. Kind of feel weird eating this. I'm still
18:40going to eat it, but it's like, why would they put that on there? Oh, are you doing smokes? He is always
18:47looking at me. It's so funny. He just sits there right by my computer and just stares.
18:53What is it? I'm gonna get your paw. I'm gonna get your paw. I'm gonna get your paw.
18:57Okay. You just wanna be padded, huh?
19:05I'm gonna end my vlog for tonight. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know I say the same thing every
19:10single time I end my vlog. It just kind of works that way. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye.
19:14Hey everybody. I don't want to be dishonest with you guys. I've never been dishonest with you guys.
19:20I didn't tell you guys I was off track, mainly because I was just at a really hard part of my
19:25life. I found out some really, really, really tough news today. It's actually extremely personal.
19:30Even before the bad news, I kind of broke down. I've been thinking lately of going to OA, which is
19:36Overeaters Anonymous. I shared that news with some people and I expressed to them that I've been binge
19:42eating and it's getting really out of hand and I really just didn't want to discuss it. Sometimes
19:47it's really hard for me to discuss absolutely everything, so I just don't. I have a lot going
19:53on right now and a lot of it I just kind of leave hidden behind the cameras because it's more
19:58appropriate. I have an illness and I have no idea how to get a hold of it. I am off track yet again.
20:05I feel let down, disappointed, defeated, like no one really cares. I feel like I'm never gonna
20:12get it again. I find that motivation, determination, inspiration, true support that I really need. I
20:18am in such a hump, such a sadness. It's really hard. It's really, really hard for me to be honest
20:24with you guys. Like I said in a couple vlogs ago, I am thinking about going to OA, but I am waiting
20:29until I am ready. I'm very nervous for it. I'm scared to go. I have to be ready. I feel like a lot of this
20:36off track mess is because not only am I a binge eater, but I'm an emotional eater.
20:40When I find out bad news or when people treat me wrong or when I feel alone, I eat because it
20:47makes me feel better. I have to learn how not to do that. Let's stop talking about that. Today,
20:52I have a friend come over and Crystal's grandma is coming over. She's great. She's great company.
20:57It's fun when they come over. Just putting away the dishes. Nothing exciting going on over here
21:04right now. I'm almost done. Thank God. Crystal's the master at drying. She dries them all. I suck
21:15at drying. Look at these little cupcake lip glosses Crystal got me. All you do is open it like so. Bam,
21:21bam, bam, bam, bam. They're so cute. I might use them for decoration. I love this one. This one's my
21:27favorite. I might just leave them right there with all my jewelry and stuff.
21:49She also got me this heart dish and I thought it was perfect for my rings. I used to just have my
21:54ring sitting in here, but I think I like it better like this. It's super cute. I'm going to show you
21:58guys outfit of the day. I had on a whole outfit and then I was like, stop. It totally looked like
22:04I was about to go on a Valentine's Day date. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to wear that
22:07tomorrow. So you guys will definitely see it. So this was my second outfit choice. So I'm just wearing
22:11my cream slash white comfy sweater. I got this from Kohl's. White rose ring I got from Renaissance
22:17Fair. Silver and black tiger diamond ring that I got from shopmissay.com. Black and white
22:21rope necklace with diamonds. I do not remember where I got it, but I love it so much. Wearing
22:27some black and gold mustache earrings I got from shopmissay.com. I did a braid on my bangs
22:33and tucked it back here. I put my hair in a side ponytail and put in about five extra braids in
22:39the ponytail. Crystal's mom accidentally spilled alcohol right here. We tried cleaning it up and
22:50Monkey was licking it, which is our dog. So we had to put this over here. It was actually quite funny.
22:54Making chocolate fondue. We're going to have strawberries and a bunch of other hors d'oeuvres.
23:10We're going to dip stuff in it. Yeah, see, you just dip like them. You need a dip thing.
23:20Oh my. What knockers. Give them a good hang. Someone is going to come. But you could tell that
23:29if you just twisted them off. We were ready to swing. What are you doing?
23:43You spread me on your slice before you eat me.
23:47If you get your fingers in me, they'll get sticky.
24:03Isn't that sick?
24:06What do check marks mean?
24:08No, then don't worry about them.
24:09The last one you got to get.
24:11Ready.
24:12Oh my lord.
24:16People pay to see me play with a big puppy.
24:20They scream as I shove my head between two big puppies and then ride the furry one to the climax.
24:32Oh my lord.
24:35I don't even know what the answer is. You don't?
24:39What is the answer to that one?
24:42Lion Tamer?
24:43Yes.
24:47Good lordy.
24:49I get blown the right way. I can get you wet. If people come inside of me, it's usually illegal,
24:56but I always shoot off on schedule.
24:58I don't know.
25:01I don't know.
25:03Y'all don't know.
25:04Really.
25:06Let me tell you.
25:07What is it?
25:07A fountain.
25:08Good job.
25:15Good job.
25:18Will you try and twerk?
25:21What is twerking?
25:22I can't do it.
25:23I've never really tried, but I don't think I can do it.
25:26Okay.
25:26Can you slightly bend over and stick your ass out and then wiggle just your ass?
25:32Well, how do you do that?
25:33Can you try it?
25:34Yeah.
25:35What do you bend over a little bit and then pop your ass out?
25:40It's been an insanely long night. I'm editing my vlog right now and I just want to say goodbye to
26:07you guys. Don't mind that silliness. Crystal's grandma is the s**t. We were playing Dirty Minds.
26:14Everything that was read on there just sounds so perverted. We had a great, great, great night.
26:19If you're wondering what that clicking is, Crystal's playing rock band. I hope you guys
26:22had a good day and we'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
26:24Good morning, everybody. Okay. It's not really morning. It's like the afternoon.
26:28Crystal and I are about to go on our Valentine's date day slash night. I wanted to show you my outfit
26:33of the day. I'm wearing a pink sweater like I wore yesterday. This one's just in pink. Silver
26:39diamond heart ring that I got from Avenue. Triangle diamond-y silvery necklace that I really,
26:46really like. It's so pretty. Got it from Charlotte Roos. These really pretty pink flowered earrings
26:51with diamonds in the middle that I got from Charlotte Roos. My hair is just in a wonderful bun.
26:56That's my outfit. That's how you know you're dedicated to drinking that water. We just opened
27:04the garage and now we're about to leave. It's kind of chilly out. Crystal's going to surprise me. I
27:08have no idea where we're going to eat. She's going to be driving us there and I'm totally going to be
27:12surprised. I have an idea. I don't want to say it in front of her. I probably should have told you
27:16guys earlier. I'm going to put a photo after this clip where I think she's taking me and I'm going to
27:21see if we're right. When you're like driving along the road and all of a sudden you see like a bouquet
27:27of flowers or like a bundle of flowers that someone put on the side of the road, it hurts. It creeps me
27:32out and it's just, it's just weird. It's not that it's weird that people are doing that. It's just
27:37weird knowing that somebody died in that area. I don't know if you guys have ever noticed that,
27:41but that's what that means. A loved one has passed away, so they pay their respects by like on the
27:45anniversary or just whenever they feel like it, they put a bouquet of flowers. I remember when I was in
27:50elementary school, there was this girl named Lisa. She had a little sister, probably seven.
27:55She was going across the street to get to her school bus. School bus actually ran her over
28:00and killed her. For a couple of years, we would go and put flowers there. Every time I also see
28:04flowers, it also reminds me of that and it's just really sad. It's just weird to think someone died
28:09right there. All right you guys, we've arrived and Crystal knows me well enough to know that
28:13Indian cuisine is my favorite. Yay! She knows me so well as I do her.
28:18I got my water. Cheers. This place is so pretty. They have like a little waterfall over there.
28:30I always get the chicken dajania. I can't say it. It's hot with boneless chunks of chicken cooked in
28:37the cilantro and jalapeno based curry sauce. It's so good. They have a buffet going on right now until
28:44three, but I like to order what I always get. Crystal always gets the same thing too. Which is it?
28:48The chicken baironi. Boneless chicken cooked with saffron, balsamati, rice, marinated with herbs,
28:57spices, and nuts.
29:05We're heading into the mall right now.
29:07Try to walk as fast as possible because I don't have a jacket on it. It's so windy.
29:19Looking at some clothes. You can never have too many clothes. Who's with me on that one?
29:28Some cute floral stuffs.
29:29My question is who would buy cards that say 50 farts? What even is this?
29:39Oh wow. Okay. So I guess you're learning about farts. That's cute. Not. This is another one of
29:46those things I was talking about. It's milk chocolate for life's boo-boos. That's just teaching
29:50people to eat when they're sad. That's so bad. These journals are so cute. Here's one. It's no use going
29:56back to yesterday because I was a different person back then. You're braver than you believe,
30:00stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. In vain I have struggled. It will not do.
30:04My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
30:10Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. And there's this one right here
30:15with all kinds of things on it. World is my oyster. Heart of gold. Come what may. Off with his head.
30:21Lilo. Faint hearted. A piece of work. Look at those clouds. Supposed to snow so. Crystal and I are
30:27actually going to a movie to see Still Alice. I think her mom wants to see Still Alice as well
30:32so I think we're all gonna go. I'm pretty sure her mom will drive but the weather out here looks
30:37really really horrendous and it's super windy and literally so freezing like 20 degrees.
30:42I've never heard of it before but it's actually supposed to snow with thunder and lightning. I have
30:48never. Oh god. Speaking of the double, it just started and Crystal's driving in it so just be
30:54careful, right? Oh my gosh. It sounded like hail. There was a change of plans. We didn't end up going
31:03to the movie. We came home to drop off a few things from when we went shopping. Power was flickering
31:08and we didn't feel like leaving the animals home in case the power did come out because it's super
31:12cold outside. I think it's at five degrees now. We didn't want to leave them in the cold like that so if
31:17the power did go out we wanted to like snuggle with them. We stayed home and just played some
31:21board games. We might go see the movie tomorrow. I'm not too sure. I hope you guys had a great day
31:25today. I know I did. I will see you guys tomorrow. Bye. Good morning everybody. I just woke up. I am
31:30insanely, insanely tired. For some reason the last couple of nights I haven't been getting much sleep.
31:36It's so strange. I'm feeling legit horrible. I am eating too much wrong foods completely. I just
31:43feel sick. I had someone recently tell me maybe I should tell my subscribers what this channel is
31:49about. This channel is just vlogs of my life. Life vlogs. That's that's what this channel is about.
31:57It's not about anything specific. Everything to do with my life. Of course there's a lot of things I
32:03will not ever ever tell you guys that are really really personal things. You guys follow my life
32:07whether it be a super extremely boring day or whether it be date night or my pets or me or my
32:13weight loss or anything like that. I'm a vlogging channel. If I was never clear of what my channel
32:17was about. I'm sorry I kind of thought it was obvious. Opera? No. Zora Neale. Opera? Yeah. Zora? No. What? That sounded like opera chicken to me. I would have said that too. Pearl Buck. Opera? No. None of them are. Jesse Norman. Opera? Yes. Two of them were.
32:37It was like a peppermint teriyaki or something. Looks good. We didn't end up going to the movie
32:47today because it is really cold outside. It's been like two degrees all day. Feels like negative 37 I
32:53think because of the wind chill. Not cute. We stayed home. We played games. I didn't do much vlogging today.
32:58I have been kind of like not in the vlogging mood which is odd for me because I love to vlog. I'm not
33:04really a daily vlogger but I did do daily vlogs I think for almost three weeks now. I might take a
33:10break. Crystal has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's not going to be really anything special to
33:14vlog. It gets hard vlogging. I'm just going to end my vlog now. Nothing really exciting is going to be
33:20happening today. Today is just one of them days where nothing is really that great and exciting.
33:27I hope you guys still enjoyed seeing me on your screen. I'll see you in my next one. I'm not sure where
33:31that will be but I'll definitely see you. Bye. Good morning everybody. Crystal and I had to wake up
33:35extremely early. We only got three two hours of sleep. We have not been getting much sleep lately
33:41which is quite unfortunate. She has an appointment today. We're gonna go do that. As you can tell I
33:45did decide to vlog today. I'm on a daily streak and I don't want to ruin it. I appreciate your guys's
33:50support whether my videos are long or short. I just appreciate you guys watching them so much.
33:54It means the world to me. Today is Monday. I'm gonna weigh in. I really need to forget about the past.
34:00Forget that I used to weigh 331. It's so overwhelming to me that I don't even have words for it. I really
34:07just need to focus on right now. Every day I'm just getting closer and closer and closer to my
34:12heaviest weight. I'm about to weigh in. I'm not happy about it whatsoever. I have never felt so big,
34:18swollen, dehydrated in my whole entire life.
34:24My breakfast today consists of mango protein shake. Crystal and I are sharing a plate
34:29in one of these organic multi-grain waffles. Outfit of the day. Today my hair is just up with a black
34:36and white bow. I got the bow from Icing. Black bulb earrings. I forgot where I got these from. Black
34:42and white polka dot scarf that can go either way. I got this from Ross. Pearl bow diamond ring that I
34:48always go to and need when I can't choose a ring. I got from shopmise.com. Just a pink sweater that I got from Walmart.
34:55It's starting to snow. We have white streets.
35:11All right. Go on.
35:14Those little paw prints. Aww.
35:17It has been snowing all day you guys. Currently it's nighttime as you can tell. I can't really show
35:28you the snow from the window. It like reflects weird. We have like a half a foot already and it's
35:33supposed to snow for another 12 hours. Wow. It's honestly so pretty though. It's just so beautiful.
35:38Crystal and I went to Target today with her mother and I got this total hydration sweet peach
35:44chapstick. It's a three-in-one lip care. It is so nice. You open it like that and it's like a clear
35:51color. It literally feels so good on your lips. They also had another flavor but I don't remember
35:57what it was. I recommend this so much. My lips have been so dry lately and this is helping a lot.
36:02Crystal and I are watching The Bachelor. We both literally love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
36:07Do you guys like this show? Leave it in the comments below and let me know. I'm outside at midnight
36:12because I wanted to show you how beautiful it looks out here. Pitch black but the streets are
36:16completely white and I want to feel the snow. I have socks on. I'm standing in- oh wait.
36:22I just turned on the light. I forgot we had one. Look how pretty and it's just falling.
36:31Oh that's cold. I love snow though. Just look at it fall. For some reason it's not staying on the trees
36:37which I find to be the most beautiful when snow is on trees. Another short vlog which I apologize
36:43for. I still hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning everybody.
36:47Woke up to a white Christmas. It's not even Christmas. Don't mind me. Everything is just
36:52white. They haven't done the roads yet. Crystal's parents are about to do our hill. The reason why
36:57they didn't want me to do it is because I don't have a jacket. I don't have a jacket or coat. I do have
37:01one. For some reason the material of it makes me itch and stuff. Very strange. They parked Crystal's
37:06car like on the hill so that when it did snow this whole big chunk without snow so that was pretty
37:11smart. As you guys know I started fresh yesterday on my weight loss. I wanted to just explain to you
37:16real quick what I plan on doing. My stomach hurts so bad right now. Over the weekend I probably ate
37:21over 7,000 calories every day. A lot of that was in chocolates and candy. I even had fast food. I had
37:28Arby's for the first time. I literally like had chest pain afterwards. My goal for this week
37:33is to obviously not eat Arby's and fast food to that sort. Mucky you're ruining my thing. Oh god.
37:41No chocolate. Like no chocolate candy. I had more than I could ever even think of. Now I'm all red
37:48because my dog thinks I'm a jungle gym. So those are just my goals for this week. I plan on drinking my
37:52water of course. I plan on weighing myself on Wednesday if you guys are curious.
38:00I'm gonna stop.
38:02What's that filming? Oh yeah I edited it out. That's what all YouTubers and vloggers do.
38:09Say one sentence and then stop. Depends.
38:13Crystal calm down. Kick in the cat. Kick in the cat.
38:16I just edited that clip. I wanted to show you guys you know just a few bloopers from it. You guys
38:26don't know this. Behind the camera I will probably film about five minutes of me talking and you guys
38:32will probably only see about one or two minutes of it. I will edit so much out whether it be just
38:36stupidness or things I didn't mean to say or mistakes or funniness that doesn't fit in the clip
38:42before it was about five minutes long. Shortened it to about a minute and a half. Look how flippant
38:47adorable these socks are. I love the colors of them. They're so cozy. I have so many of these. It's
38:53insane. Crystal's parents recently got all the cats one of their own little cat pillows. They really
38:58really enjoy them. Monkey over here thinks everything is his so he just lays with it as well. Is that how
39:03your dog is if you guys have babies who have toys or cats? Does your dog think it's all his or hers?
39:09Yes. Go get it. Twinkie's like what? This is what I want. She's so confused. Give her her busy bone. It's right there.
39:18What? No I want to wait for night for that. Let me see the other cat toys. Jax are you a little confused?
39:24I mean that's not y'all's. It is Christmas early.
39:27What you got Twinkie? Twinkie took Jax's mouth. She really needs his mouth.
39:39You want to go outside? You want to go for a walk? Come on. He's about to go in the snow.
39:44All right. Let's go. All right. I'll stay now. Hold on. Don't be going straight away. Don't worry.
39:58He's out there right now. He just got over getting having a cold so I hope he's all right out there.
40:05That pile of snow looks like so fun to just jump in. Oh snow doesn't look cold when it's that fluffy.
40:16It just looks fluffy and fun like cotton or clouds. Do you wish you could go out there baby? Huh?
40:22You want to go in the snows? Oh I'm sorry. You can't. Roads are trying to get cleaned. Look how pretty. I can't get over it.
40:30I can't get over it.
40:50He wants to go out there so bad. He's actually ran out there in the past. If he ran out there in the snow that would be really bad.
40:55Crystal did a online mad lib. I'm about to read it. Don't read it until you're ready. I'm ready.
41:03Oh okay. All a dream it's called. I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had.
41:08I really enjoyed it though. I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs. I've been
41:11working in Tokyo all the cold day. I've been working in Tokyo just to pass the time away. Don't you hear
41:15the whistle kicking? Rise up so early in the morn. Don't you hear me? I'll be shouting Amberlynn, sing your horn.
41:19Amberlynn, won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing your horn? Amberlynn,
41:27won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing your horn? Someone's in the kitchen with Amberlynn. Someone's
41:32in the kitchen I know. Someone's in the kitchen with Amberlynn. Strumming on the old drums. It was the
41:36weirdest dream I've ever had in a long time. I had no idea it was going to be a song. So I started reading
41:41it normal, and then I started singing it, and then I started rapping it. Interesting. It's called
41:46Eduplace. I don't know if you guys have ever done Mad Libs before. She searched online Mad Libs.
41:50It's E-D-U-P-L-A-C-E if you want to do a Mad Lib online. We've been playing a lot of games lately
41:56with Crystal's parents, but today we're playing by ourselves. We're playing the Logo board game.
42:01It's actually really fun. Some cards will have a logo, and you have to answer questions like this
42:05one. Some are potluck, so it's like random questions. This one's Nationwide Insurance, DQ,
42:11Skittles, Levi's, Denny's, Baby Ruth, UPS, Ford, GoDaddy, Sarah Lee, Baskin-Robbins. They have so
42:18many different ones, and you try to win. Obvi. Obvi. Crystal's currently winning. She's red. I'm purple.
42:24All right, Monk. Come on. It's too cold. Oh, do you want in the snow again? Oh, it's a baby.
42:37You have snow in your nose. You have snow in your nose.
42:44I think I'm going to end my vlog for tonight. I hope you guys enjoyed it so, so much. I will see
42:48you in my vlog tomorrow. Bye. Good morning, everybody. I'm trying to choose which healthy
42:53smoothie drink I want. I have Strawberry Parfait Breakfast Smoothie, Mango Protein Plus,
42:58Multi-V Goodness, and Blue Goodness. Oh, the choice is so hard. I think I'm going to go with
43:02Multi-V Goodness. I like to use wine glasses. Don't mind me. It's just a small one. There is 13
43:09three-fourths cherries in this, 43 cranberries, 2 peaches, 20 berries, and 35 pomegranates. So many
43:17vitamins. This is so good for you. It's insane. I'm not very religious at all, as you guys know.
43:22Today is Ash Wednesday, though, where you give something up for Lent. I think it's a fun idea.
43:29Obviously, if I did this, it wouldn't be for, like, religious reasons, but a 40-day challenge
43:33is kind of intriguing to me. I did end up binging last night, which is quite unfortunate. I kind of
43:38want to try to not binge for as many days as possible. I want to reach day 40. I think that
43:44would be absolutely amazing. I honestly have binged, I want to say, about four times a week
43:50for a couple months now. I think this is going to be fun. I want to give it a try. Normally,
43:54you give up something you like for Lent, but I don't like binging. Seeing people give up stuff
43:58for Lent has inspired me to try my hardest not to binge, and I want to count the days down.
44:03This sounds fun. What do you guys think? Are you guys doing Lent, or are you giving up? Leave it
44:06in the comments below. I don't know why he does this, but we always have these sheets over the
44:10side of the couch because the cats like to rip and tear. So if you guys are ever wondering, like,
44:14why there's always sheets and blankets and stuff, it's because they do tear a lot. And for some
44:19reason, Monkey likes to lay under such a thing. Why are you laying under here? Okay, I'll let you be.
44:25Do your thing. Snow has not melted whatsoever. Don't mind yellow spots. We have dog. It's supposed to do
44:32a little bit of snowing tonight, so we've pretty much been housebound for a couple of days, and it's
44:36getting a little cabin fever up in here. Are you going to get it? I got them this toy the other day.
44:42It was only a dollar. I think cats like strings more than anything. What are you doing, lady?
44:49Looks like Charlie likes it. Charlie doesn't play much because he's so old. He's about 19,
44:53so it's nice to see him play. Come on. Oh, smokes. Come on.
45:02Crystal, Charlie was actually playing with this.
45:04The roads are extremely slushy. Crystal's never driven and something like that. We were going to
45:15go to the grocery store tomorrow, but we might have to wait. Oh, hey, guys. Welcome to my home. Here,
45:20just sit right here. Looks normal, right? Looks completely normal. Just plop down, sit down.
45:27Just wait for it. What is this? Oh, I ruined it. Ring, why? Where are you going? It's time for them to eat,
45:44so she's probably thinking I was trying to wake her up. You want your foods? Are you hungry? Let me get
45:48your foods. Oh, I saw you. Oh, yes. That moment when your soft blankets come out of the wash.
46:02They smell so good and they're nice and warm. I was.
46:08Well, that showed in the background. You sit in the blanket. Okay, I'll explain because we washed
46:15all the blankets and they all smell so freaking good. So, you know, no shame in that game. I might
46:21edit that out. That was so funny or I might keep it. Who knows? I'm just going to do it for just a
46:25couple more minutes because I want it burning. Burning. Start. Start your engines. Whenever it
46:33gets chilly up in here, I just wrap this blanket around me. I use this gray blanket for my body and
46:38I am cozied up. Don't ask what kind of face that was because I'll never be able to tell you. I don't
46:43even know. I don't even understand myself sometimes. Tomorrow, Crystal and I are going
46:47to start counting calories again. We haven't actually officially counted calories in months
46:51and months and months and months. We'd start sometimes and then we'd fall off track and
46:56then stop. It was just this whole mess of things. I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see
46:59you in my next one. Bye. I didn't vlog yesterday as you guys probably could tell. I'll do a little
47:03bit of vlogging today. I just needed like a small tiny break. Today, Crystal and I are taking
47:08her grandma to the grocery store and then we have to do our grocery shopping. We're going to go out
47:12to eat and then we're going to go to the movies. Here's my outfit of the day. I'm just wearing my
47:16hair down today. I am wearing this really, really, really pretty scarf with these eyes on it that I
47:21got from Target. A Dreamcatcher necklace that I also got from... Oh wait, no. I got this from
47:26Charlotte Ruse. I'm wearing an elephant ring that I got from shopmissay.com. These really, really
47:31pretty earrings I got from Charlotte Ruse. Just a black shirt with lace. I forget where I got this from.
47:36Comfy cardigan that I got from Gabes. 50 years later and the snow still has not melted. The streets
47:43are pure ice and the snow is now hard as a rock. Seriously? Eh. Alright, so the next one is... I have to get five of a kind.
47:57Guess I'll keep fives.
48:05I got a whopping 108 points. What does that mean? That part is if you used any of the bonuses. I don't know. Oh wait. For each bonus that you get, you get a hundred points I guess. So 69 plus 46.
48:13Oh, you did that already? Mm-hmm. Okay. Crystal got 115 so...
48:20He only won by seven. Finally about to go see the movie. We ended up going to the grocery store, taking her grandma on a few errands. We didn't go out to eat. We just ordered something in. I got lasagna and some zucchini. I have been getting an incredibly amount of negative feedback on my videos lately.
48:50I don't know why. I have a lot of issues. I'm pretty honest with them online. It's a shaky subject. I really, really regret opening up. So personally, I wish I would have just started this channel as a vlogging channel because I adore vlogging. It's a big passion of mine. I absolutely fell in love with it the minute I started.
49:08I just feel like so much negative feedback is happening because of it because I did open my weight loss journey to you guys. It hurts. It really, really does hurt. I honestly cry a lot because of it.
49:19I shouldn't let bullies get to me. I shouldn't let the thumbs down get to me or anything like that. I appreciate those who support me 110% and means the world to me. Everything else really affects me. I don't know how to handle it.
49:31I took a break from vlogging yesterday because of how bad it made me feel. Now I just want to sit here and tell you guys that I don't want to vlog anymore for a while. I don't want to say that because it is my hobby. It's something I love so much.
49:43I don't want to take it away from me, but I don't know what to do. I really hope that somewhere along the line, I'll stop getting such negative feedback and I'll stop getting so many thumbs down.
49:53People will start liking me because I am so honest and people will start liking me because I do take my time and make these vlogs for you guys.
49:59I kind of just wanted to open up and like just know how I'm feeling. I'm feeling emotional because of the whole thing. I hope you guys are having a great day.
50:06Please let me know in the comments below. What should I do about this situation?
50:12So I just got home. I took off all my jewelry, put my hair up, took off my lame clothes, and I'm just gonna relax for the rest of the night. It's almost 12 a.m.
50:21I will see you guys in my next video. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
50:27That's sick.
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