- 2 minutes ago
89lbs journey
Jugging Water
Valentine's Day shopping
Game night with Krystle's Grandma
Dinner date
Outfits of the day
Boardgames
Snow days
Jugging Water
Valentine's Day shopping
Game night with Krystle's Grandma
Dinner date
Outfits of the day
Boardgames
Snow days
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00Good morning, everybody. I did weigh myself and I wanted to share that with you guys. As you guys
00:04know, I was on a weight loss journey before and I lost 89 pounds. I had one serving of Morningstar
00:10Buffalo veggie nuggets, which was five nuggets.
00:20I would cut them up in super tiny pieces. Me and my ex both would.
00:24And the reason why we did that was to make our food last longer. We would sometimes allow
00:30ourselves to have a string cheese with that. We weren't counting calories. We were just
00:34watching our portions. But then later in the day, her mom would actually cook for us. Her mom was
00:39relatively healthy. So that made it so much easier. Every time she would cook, it was always like a
00:43meat, a veggie and a carb. So when it was a meat, it was usually normally always chicken. So it made
00:49it really easy, like small, medium. I would have one piece of chicken. If it was large, I would cut
00:54it in half. When it was the carb, it was always like rice or a potato type of thing. I've lost
00:5989 pounds eating nothing but rice and potatoes. When it was veggies, I'd probably have a scoop or
01:04two. That was my second meal. And that's all I would eat until later on in the night, we would
01:09allow ourself one snack. Our snack were these like 100 calorie little things. Like it was like
01:15Luna cookies or whatever you call them, goldfish. We made sure to get all kinds of different sort of
01:21snacks that were only 100 calories. I was barely eating 800, 900 calories a day, but I didn't know
01:28that at the time. I just knew that I felt great and the weight was dropping off. My starting weight
01:33was 420. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I feel like I really hold that story to my heart. The fact that
01:40I was down 89 pounds at one point in my life is a very big accomplishment. I have been holding onto it
01:46so much that I feel possibly overwhelmed because of how much weight I have gained. I thoroughly feel
01:54like it's just time for me to move on from that. I haven't been on that exact journey for two and a
02:01half years and I need to move on. I always start fresh. It's like the story of my life because I'm
02:06always making mistakes and mess ups and slip ups. My binge eating just gets so crazy that I just cannot
02:13find myself. I really believe that a lot of it is the fact that I am overwhelmed. I always, always,
02:19always, always, always remind myself that once I was down 89 pounds and instead of it motivating me,
02:24it under motivates me. I have decided to completely just wipe clean every single pound I've already
02:32lost. I'm going to, you know, keep it in my heart. Once I truly lose 100 pounds, of course,
02:38I'll celebrate it. But as of right now, I am starting completely fresh the whole new starting
02:45weight for this journey. This will be weigh-in one, completely fresh. I'm honestly devastated.
02:51I'm just gonna move on, accept it, let it kick me in the butt so it'll motivate me. I'm gonna become
02:58dedicated, determined, inspired. I'm going to prove everybody wrong and myself. For February 9th,
03:062015, my starting weight is 388.8. Every day, I'm gonna try my hardest with drinking 101.4
03:13FL ounces of water. This is gigantic. It's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna try to aim for it. If I
03:19don't succeed, that's okay as long as I'm chugging away. Water is insanely good for you. It flushes out
03:25all the toxins in your body. It helps you stay full throughout the day. It hydrates you. A lot of the time,
03:31you think you're hungry, but you're actually thirsty. So pick up your water and chug, chug,
03:35chug. You guys are going to be with me for my first chug.
03:43I've actually read a lot of different places that you're actually not supposed to drink water an hour
03:49before you eat and an hour after. It causes like acid. I ain't listening to it. I ain't listening to it.
03:56Every time Charlie sleeps, he covers his face. He's so soft. Look at him. He just wants to be
04:03loved. I already started eating, but I'm having a Genio turkey burger, brown rice,
04:12and some peas with lots of pepper. I'm gonna feed my animals. This is where we keep the cat food.
04:19Chicken and salmon stew. And then I guess a roasted chicken dinner and meaty juices. They make
04:26it sound so gross. You hungry? Huh? A little pre-workout snack is just a plain rice cake with a
04:35little bit of organic natural peanut butter. I really, really like that boost I get from just
04:40a tiny little snack before I work out. Peanut butter and a rice cake is perfect for that. Charlie,
04:45look at him. The weather right now is really, really bad out and it's hard to see. We should
04:54be at the gym here in a minute. We just got out of the gym sitting in the parking lot. I never,
04:59ever, ever, ever get headaches. The last couple of days I've been dealing with one. Today it's been
05:04by far the worst. So I went into the gym with a headache. I thought I was gonna be able to like
05:08work out around it, but I guess I couldn't. I got tired faster. I felt really just like slouchy.
05:14My head was throbbing. I only did half of what I usually do. The whole time I was truly dreading
05:20it. I wanted to just leave the gym and that's not me. I normally really, really, really enjoy
05:26myself. And I'm not the only one with a headache. Crystal has a really, really bad headache as well
05:30today, but she always gets headaches. So it's not like something different, but definitely it's not
05:35fun to work out when you have a headache. On top of that, like I just got over being sick. I've been
05:39really bad with my eating besides today, obviously. I haven't worked out in a long time. Just the whole
05:45thing, everything mixed together, I feel like I could have done a lot better. I worked out for 30
05:50minutes and I pushed as hard as I could. I burnt a lot of calories, so that's a plus. My overall
05:55assessment is honestly, I am just proud of myself for even going and sticking through it as much as
06:01I didn't want to. My face is red from the car in front of us. Oh, that was like, literally,
06:05I looked really scary. What was that? It's 8 11 right now and I am like pretty tired. I'm beat
06:14feeling. Crystal and I only got less than like four hours of sleep last night, so we're both like super
06:20tired. The reason why you can actually see my face now is because I put down this little thing.
06:27That actually is very helpful in life. Look at this, you guys. I finished this whole thing and
06:33I have never done that before. Literally shocked right now. I'm gonna end my vlog. Thank you guys
06:37so much for watching and I will see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning, everybody. My vlog is
06:42currently uploading right now. I had a few people come on Ask.fm thinking I was lying about uploading a
06:47video. Just saw this mess. I'm definitely not lying. I just figured it'd be a lot easier. Every single
06:54vlogger that I've ever watched always uploads their videos the next day. I figured I'd give it
06:58a go and it actually gave me a lot of free time last night. I wasn't worried about coming home from
07:02the gym. Like it wasn't like taking over my mind. My vlogs tend to take over my mind. I always worry
07:08when I'm gonna upload it and stuff like that. I just made this spaghetti. We're not doing spaghetti
07:14this way. It's happening in Berlin. And I can show you the ingredients. It is a vegetable tricolor
07:20rotini pasta. Some of this roasted garlic and herb prego Italian sauce. Simply balanced spinach and
07:27garlic turkey meatballs. And of course, white onion. That's everything. I weighed in today. As you guys
07:33know, I was 388.8 just yesterday and today I was.
07:41That means I'm down 3.2 in just one day. I've been having a little bit of controversial
07:48discussions over on Ask.fm. Some people think that I will not lose weight with cliff bars,
07:54which is odd to me. Some people constantly are complaining that I eat Panera Bread. Funny
07:59situation is I had a cliff bar yesterday and I also had Panera Bread and I'm still down 3.2 in one day.
08:05It just goes to show that everybody's different. Everybody loses weight differently. Never copy someone
08:11else because their program might not work for you and vice versa. I will not be weighing in daily
08:16because that is when my mind gets all commobulated. I was just very curious how I did the first day
08:22back on track. Sit. Stay.
08:32Good boy.
08:35Crystal and I realized that going to the gym at night, we just didn't feel like in our zone because at night
08:40you're getting tired. The night's just mellowing down. I don't think we liked it very much after like
08:45sleeping on it and realizing it. We might just start going in the morning like we used to do. We're
08:50also going to like switch off and like some days we're going to work out at home and do like an
08:54exercising DVD because those freaking are hard. It obviously depends on like which one you choose.
09:00If you're ever wanting ice cream, you guys should definitely try these frozen Greek yogurts by Yasso.
09:05They have tons and tons and tons and tons of different flavors. My favorite is mint chocolate chip.
09:10We also have a vanilla bean, which is super delicious. It's only a hundred calories.
09:15It is so good. I could show you the stats. A hundred calories, two fat, 35 sodium, zero fiber,
09:22five protein. It's not bad at all. The ingredients aren't bad either. They're just so delicious.
09:29Honestly, this is the best frozen yogurt brand I have ever had and it's frozen Greek yogurt. So
09:35yes. You guys, I am so, so, so, so excited for Valentine's Day. Crystal and I are always going
09:43on dates, but what makes Valentine's Day more special is because she's completely surprising
09:48me on where we're going. I have no clue. I told her, do not tell me. We're going to get in the car.
09:55We're going to drive. I'm not going to have any idea where we're going because most of the restaurants
09:59we do go to are like all in the same location. So I'm going to have no idea and I'm just excited.
10:03I really like that surprise feeling of it. So currently I'm just watching Netflix
10:08on my laptop. I'm watching Pretty Little Liars, of course. I'm on season three, episode 23. Literally
10:14obsessed. I don't know why, but I just had a gallstone attack. I haven't had one in years.
10:23It's probably been about two years now. I kind of still feel it faintly. My eating's been on point
10:29yesterday and today, so I find it kind of odd. I always feel like gallstone sickness
10:33when I'm eating healthier. Funny situation is I had a Clif Bar yesterday and I also had Panera bread
10:39and I'm still down 3.2 in one day. I don't know if it's because I am eating less fat than I normally
10:45would. My gallstones are like confused about it, but an actual attack I haven't had in so long. If you
10:51guys have ever had gallstones, you know that pain that is indescribable. Hoping it doesn't happen
10:57again. I'm just going to have to end my vlog tonight, you guys, and I hope you enjoyed it
11:00and I'll see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning, everybody. I have been insane addicted to Pretty
11:05Little Liars. I have a theory. I'm almost 100% sure I know who like the queen BA is. If you guys
11:12don't watch Pretty Little Liars and you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm going to go back and
11:15I'm going to watch season one, episode one, and I'm going to see if I can like find more clues.
11:20I am part of the Pretty Little Liars crazy fan club. Yes, I am. I just got my love with food box.
11:26I'm so, so excited. So we're going to open it and then I'll show you what was in it. All right,
11:31here we go. I'm going to open it. Ooh, look at all that. This box this month was super good. We got
11:37one of these cake batter cookie thins, two bags of baked mac and cheese puffs, two bags of kettle
11:44olive oil cooked chips. Crystal's over here making fun of me. We have one blueberry coconut energy bar,
11:51almond honey energy bar. They gave us some bees, I'm assuming because St. Patrick's Day is coming up,
11:57some pork clouds and rosemary sea salt, two of these lemon wafer bites, two hot chocolates,
12:05four tiny little milk chocolates, four of these toffee crunch candies, I'm assuming, and four
12:11Crioli seasonings. So not shabby, not shabby. Our box came like pretty much perfect timing. So it's
12:18our snack time. We're going to try the cake batter cookie crisp. Crystal and I are just going to share
12:22a bag. I want to try it on camera. They look like so. They smell like kind of like shortbread cookies,
12:29which I love. So good. Do you guys like Crystal's new bracelet? How beautiful. That must have cost it
12:39a fortune. Styling. Styling profiling. How much was it? 10,000? A million. A million. Oh, okay. I just
12:47got out of the bath. I'm using frosted bloom as my body spray from Victoria's Secret. It's a iced
12:54cranberry and white jasmine. Smells so delicious. And I'm also using Amber Romance from Victoria's
13:00Secret as per usual. It's amber and cream. I haven't put it on yet. I know some people have
13:05asked me before why I used to. Habits, habits, habits. Every day I was bullied. I was the smelly
13:10kid. Crystal and I just played Where in the World, which is about geography and she won. So I wanted to
13:16choose a random card and tell you some random facts about somewhere in the world. All right,
13:20here we go. Africa, Tunisia. That is what the flag looks like. The capital is Tunis. The population
13:27is 11 million. The monetary unit is Tunisian dinar. The literacy rate high, 74.3%. Major
13:35language is Arabic. Major religion is Islam. Major export is textiles. Major import is textiles. And
13:42major sea coast is Mediterranean Sea. I really like flipping through these and learning about it.
13:46Let me do it. I get the baby. What is this? Why do you have blood on your nose, huh? Are you okay?
13:52He is such an old man. I hope he's all right. I don't know what that blood is. Are you okay?
13:59So far, three days in a row. Drink it all. Crystal's mom has a delicious pork roast type thing.
14:07Marinating in some sauce in the crock pot for tomorrow. What she'll do is she'll take this
14:12and put it in the crock pot. This crock pot's amazing. She's had a lot of crock pots in the
14:17past, I think, but this one's one of the better ones that she's gotten. There are so many different
14:21types of buttons to use. If you guys are curious, she got it from Target or Walmart. It's really nice.
14:27Let me put it back. Hide the little wire so the cats don't chew on it. I gotta be honest,
14:32today has been a pretty bad day for me, like emotionally. I stayed on track food-wise,
14:37so you don't have to worry about that. The water is completely gone. I found out some really,
14:42really, really tough news today. It's actually extremely personal. Even before the bad news,
14:48I kind of broke down. I've been thinking lately of going to OA, which is Overeaters Anonymous. I
14:53shared that news with some people and I expressed to them that I've been binge eating and it's getting
14:59really out of hand. I kind of just feel like not everyone is going to understand. Not everyone's
15:03going to know what to say to me. I just wish, you know, people cared more and that's kind of just
15:08in the place I'm in right now. I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
15:13We just woke up. We're going to get ready to go to the grocery store. It's snowing right now. Look
15:18how pretty it is. I wish I could capture it on video, like as crazy as it looks in person,
15:24but you just can't. It doesn't work that way with videoing. We got some ginormous snowflakes on our
15:29hands. They're so big. Some of them I actually see the snowflake design and it's so pretty. My
15:35computer was spazzing out for some reason, like really bad. I restarted it and it said it had 13
15:41updates and it's literally been taken forever. If you guys are wondering, I have the Gateway laptop.
15:47It's actually the first laptop I've ever had. I never want to get rid of it. I hope it doesn't
15:51ever break. Knock on wood. All right, Crystal and I are going to the store because it stopped snowing.
15:57We forgot the bags in the garage. Oh, it's cold. I'm going to get them real quick. All right.
16:04Tons and tons of grocery bags. Just walked into Walmart and I swear it's like freaking Valentine's
16:11Day galore everywhere. Here you go, babe. It's for you. Happy V-Day.
16:22Looking at the protein bars. This little fella is 390 calories. That is insane to me. Lately,
16:32I've been really liking this mint power crunch. It's only 205 calories. It has 13 protein. Only
16:39five sugar. I think that's really good. Most protein bars have a lot of sugar. I spy tons and tons of
16:45yummy, delicious candles. Oh, that smells so good. Rose. The color of this one.
16:55Island waves. Oh my god, that smells so good. Purple sands is cute too.
17:02That smells like a starburst. One more. Crystal, show up there. Look at all these.
17:20Look at all those too. Show up. It's just endless balloons. Okay. There you go. Look it. She's not a good
17:30filmer. She's not used to it. Look at all that. It just goes for a mile. We're making something
17:40special for Christmas appearance and I'll show you when we're done. Mix it all up and then put a handful.
17:50I don't want to be loud. I don't want to be loud. I'm a handful.
18:00Okay. Okay, we will.
18:03Set it up right now. Why don't y'all carry it? Sure. Okay, we will.
18:06Let me get this trash out real quick. As you guys know, I really love Yasos, which are frozen Greek
18:13yogurts and they taste like ice cream and they're really delicious. We got chocolate chip cookie dough.
18:19I've never tried it before. I'm a big supporter of Yasos. They're really, really delicious. As I've
18:24looked at the packaging, I'm reading something on it that makes me kind of uneasy. Time heals all wounds,
18:30but dessert heals them faster. I don't like that really. That's why I'm obese because of my wounds.
18:36I wanted to feed them and that was like my medicine. Kind of feel weird eating this. I'm still
18:40going to eat it, but it's like, why would they put that on there? Oh, are you doing smokes? He is always
18:47looking at me. It's so funny. He just sits there right by my computer and just stares.
18:53What is it? I'm gonna get your paw. I'm gonna get your paw. I'm gonna get your paw.
18:57Okay. You just wanna be padded, huh?
19:05I'm gonna end my vlog for tonight. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know I say the same thing every
19:10single time I end my vlog. It just kind of works that way. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye.
19:14Hey everybody. I don't want to be dishonest with you guys. I've never been dishonest with you guys.
19:20I didn't tell you guys I was off track, mainly because I was just at a really hard part of my
19:25life. I found out some really, really, really tough news today. It's actually extremely personal.
19:30Even before the bad news, I kind of broke down. I've been thinking lately of going to OA, which is
19:36Overeaters Anonymous. I shared that news with some people and I expressed to them that I've been binge
19:42eating and it's getting really out of hand and I really just didn't want to discuss it. Sometimes
19:47it's really hard for me to discuss absolutely everything, so I just don't. I have a lot going
19:53on right now and a lot of it I just kind of leave hidden behind the cameras because it's more
19:58appropriate. I have an illness and I have no idea how to get a hold of it. I am off track yet again.
20:05I feel let down, disappointed, defeated, like no one really cares. I feel like I'm never gonna
20:12get it again. I find that motivation, determination, inspiration, true support that I really need. I
20:18am in such a hump, such a sadness. It's really hard. It's really, really hard for me to be honest
20:24with you guys. Like I said in a couple vlogs ago, I am thinking about going to OA, but I am waiting
20:29until I am ready. I'm very nervous for it. I'm scared to go. I have to be ready. I feel like a lot of this
20:36off track mess is because not only am I a binge eater, but I'm an emotional eater.
20:40When I find out bad news or when people treat me wrong or when I feel alone, I eat because it
20:47makes me feel better. I have to learn how not to do that. Let's stop talking about that. Today,
20:52I have a friend come over and Crystal's grandma is coming over. She's great. She's great company.
20:57It's fun when they come over. Just putting away the dishes. Nothing exciting going on over here
21:04right now. I'm almost done. Thank God. Crystal's the master at drying. She dries them all. I suck
21:15at drying. Look at these little cupcake lip glosses Crystal got me. All you do is open it like so. Bam,
21:21bam, bam, bam, bam. They're so cute. I might use them for decoration. I love this one. This one's my
21:27favorite. I might just leave them right there with all my jewelry and stuff.
21:49She also got me this heart dish and I thought it was perfect for my rings. I used to just have my
21:54ring sitting in here, but I think I like it better like this. It's super cute. I'm going to show you
21:58guys outfit of the day. I had on a whole outfit and then I was like, stop. It totally looked like
22:04I was about to go on a Valentine's Day date. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to wear that
22:07tomorrow. So you guys will definitely see it. So this was my second outfit choice. So I'm just wearing
22:11my cream slash white comfy sweater. I got this from Kohl's. White rose ring I got from Renaissance
22:17Fair. Silver and black tiger diamond ring that I got from shopmissay.com. Black and white
22:21rope necklace with diamonds. I do not remember where I got it, but I love it so much. Wearing
22:27some black and gold mustache earrings I got from shopmissay.com. I did a braid on my bangs
22:33and tucked it back here. I put my hair in a side ponytail and put in about five extra braids in
22:39the ponytail. Crystal's mom accidentally spilled alcohol right here. We tried cleaning it up and
22:50Monkey was licking it, which is our dog. So we had to put this over here. It was actually quite funny.
22:54Making chocolate fondue. We're going to have strawberries and a bunch of other hors d'oeuvres.
23:10We're going to dip stuff in it. Yeah, see, you just dip like them. You need a dip thing.
23:20Oh my. What knockers. Give them a good hang. Someone is going to come. But you could tell that
23:29if you just twisted them off. We were ready to swing. What are you doing?
23:43You spread me on your slice before you eat me.
23:47If you get your fingers in me, they'll get sticky.
24:03Isn't that sick?
24:06What do check marks mean?
24:08No, then don't worry about them.
24:09The last one you got to get.
24:11Ready.
24:12Oh my lord.
24:16People pay to see me play with a big puppy.
24:20They scream as I shove my head between two big puppies and then ride the furry one to the climax.
24:32Oh my lord.
24:35I don't even know what the answer is. You don't?
24:39What is the answer to that one?
24:42Lion Tamer?
24:43Yes.
24:47Good lordy.
24:49I get blown the right way. I can get you wet. If people come inside of me, it's usually illegal,
24:56but I always shoot off on schedule.
24:58I don't know.
25:01I don't know.
25:03Y'all don't know.
25:04Really.
25:06Let me tell you.
25:07What is it?
25:07A fountain.
25:08Good job.
25:15Good job.
25:18Will you try and twerk?
25:21What is twerking?
25:22I can't do it.
25:23I've never really tried, but I don't think I can do it.
25:26Okay.
25:26Can you slightly bend over and stick your ass out and then wiggle just your ass?
25:32Well, how do you do that?
25:33Can you try it?
25:34Yeah.
25:35What do you bend over a little bit and then pop your ass out?
25:40It's been an insanely long night. I'm editing my vlog right now and I just want to say goodbye to
26:07you guys. Don't mind that silliness. Crystal's grandma is the s**t. We were playing Dirty Minds.
26:14Everything that was read on there just sounds so perverted. We had a great, great, great night.
26:19If you're wondering what that clicking is, Crystal's playing rock band. I hope you guys
26:22had a good day and we'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
26:24Good morning, everybody. Okay. It's not really morning. It's like the afternoon.
26:28Crystal and I are about to go on our Valentine's date day slash night. I wanted to show you my outfit
26:33of the day. I'm wearing a pink sweater like I wore yesterday. This one's just in pink. Silver
26:39diamond heart ring that I got from Avenue. Triangle diamond-y silvery necklace that I really,
26:46really like. It's so pretty. Got it from Charlotte Roos. These really pretty pink flowered earrings
26:51with diamonds in the middle that I got from Charlotte Roos. My hair is just in a wonderful bun.
26:56That's my outfit. That's how you know you're dedicated to drinking that water. We just opened
27:04the garage and now we're about to leave. It's kind of chilly out. Crystal's going to surprise me. I
27:08have no idea where we're going to eat. She's going to be driving us there and I'm totally going to be
27:12surprised. I have an idea. I don't want to say it in front of her. I probably should have told you
27:16guys earlier. I'm going to put a photo after this clip where I think she's taking me and I'm going to
27:21see if we're right. When you're like driving along the road and all of a sudden you see like a bouquet
27:27of flowers or like a bundle of flowers that someone put on the side of the road, it hurts. It creeps me
27:32out and it's just, it's just weird. It's not that it's weird that people are doing that. It's just
27:37weird knowing that somebody died in that area. I don't know if you guys have ever noticed that,
27:41but that's what that means. A loved one has passed away, so they pay their respects by like on the
27:45anniversary or just whenever they feel like it, they put a bouquet of flowers. I remember when I was in
27:50elementary school, there was this girl named Lisa. She had a little sister, probably seven.
27:55She was going across the street to get to her school bus. School bus actually ran her over
28:00and killed her. For a couple of years, we would go and put flowers there. Every time I also see
28:04flowers, it also reminds me of that and it's just really sad. It's just weird to think someone died
28:09right there. All right you guys, we've arrived and Crystal knows me well enough to know that
28:13Indian cuisine is my favorite. Yay! She knows me so well as I do her.
28:18I got my water. Cheers. This place is so pretty. They have like a little waterfall over there.
28:30I always get the chicken dajania. I can't say it. It's hot with boneless chunks of chicken cooked in
28:37the cilantro and jalapeno based curry sauce. It's so good. They have a buffet going on right now until
28:44three, but I like to order what I always get. Crystal always gets the same thing too. Which is it?
28:48The chicken baironi. Boneless chicken cooked with saffron, balsamati, rice, marinated with herbs,
28:57spices, and nuts.
29:05We're heading into the mall right now.
29:07Try to walk as fast as possible because I don't have a jacket on it. It's so windy.
29:19Looking at some clothes. You can never have too many clothes. Who's with me on that one?
29:28Some cute floral stuffs.
29:29My question is who would buy cards that say 50 farts? What even is this?
29:39Oh wow. Okay. So I guess you're learning about farts. That's cute. Not. This is another one of
29:46those things I was talking about. It's milk chocolate for life's boo-boos. That's just teaching
29:50people to eat when they're sad. That's so bad. These journals are so cute. Here's one. It's no use going
29:56back to yesterday because I was a different person back then. You're braver than you believe,
30:00stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. In vain I have struggled. It will not do.
30:04My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
30:10Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. And there's this one right here
30:15with all kinds of things on it. World is my oyster. Heart of gold. Come what may. Off with his head.
30:21Lilo. Faint hearted. A piece of work. Look at those clouds. Supposed to snow so. Crystal and I are
30:27actually going to a movie to see Still Alice. I think her mom wants to see Still Alice as well
30:32so I think we're all gonna go. I'm pretty sure her mom will drive but the weather out here looks
30:37really really horrendous and it's super windy and literally so freezing like 20 degrees.
30:42I've never heard of it before but it's actually supposed to snow with thunder and lightning. I have
30:48never. Oh god. Speaking of the double, it just started and Crystal's driving in it so just be
30:54careful, right? Oh my gosh. It sounded like hail. There was a change of plans. We didn't end up going
31:03to the movie. We came home to drop off a few things from when we went shopping. Power was flickering
31:08and we didn't feel like leaving the animals home in case the power did come out because it's super
31:12cold outside. I think it's at five degrees now. We didn't want to leave them in the cold like that so if
31:17the power did go out we wanted to like snuggle with them. We stayed home and just played some
31:21board games. We might go see the movie tomorrow. I'm not too sure. I hope you guys had a great day
31:25today. I know I did. I will see you guys tomorrow. Bye. Good morning everybody. I just woke up. I am
31:30insanely, insanely tired. For some reason the last couple of nights I haven't been getting much sleep.
31:36It's so strange. I'm feeling legit horrible. I am eating too much wrong foods completely. I just
31:43feel sick. I had someone recently tell me maybe I should tell my subscribers what this channel is
31:49about. This channel is just vlogs of my life. Life vlogs. That's that's what this channel is about.
31:57It's not about anything specific. Everything to do with my life. Of course there's a lot of things I
32:03will not ever ever tell you guys that are really really personal things. You guys follow my life
32:07whether it be a super extremely boring day or whether it be date night or my pets or me or my
32:13weight loss or anything like that. I'm a vlogging channel. If I was never clear of what my channel
32:17was about. I'm sorry I kind of thought it was obvious. Opera? No. Zora Neale. Opera? Yeah. Zora? No. What? That sounded like opera chicken to me. I would have said that too. Pearl Buck. Opera? No. None of them are. Jesse Norman. Opera? Yes. Two of them were.
32:37It was like a peppermint teriyaki or something. Looks good. We didn't end up going to the movie
32:47today because it is really cold outside. It's been like two degrees all day. Feels like negative 37 I
32:53think because of the wind chill. Not cute. We stayed home. We played games. I didn't do much vlogging today.
32:58I have been kind of like not in the vlogging mood which is odd for me because I love to vlog. I'm not
33:04really a daily vlogger but I did do daily vlogs I think for almost three weeks now. I might take a
33:10break. Crystal has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's not going to be really anything special to
33:14vlog. It gets hard vlogging. I'm just going to end my vlog now. Nothing really exciting is going to be
33:20happening today. Today is just one of them days where nothing is really that great and exciting.
33:27I hope you guys still enjoyed seeing me on your screen. I'll see you in my next one. I'm not sure where
33:31that will be but I'll definitely see you. Bye. Good morning everybody. Crystal and I had to wake up
33:35extremely early. We only got three two hours of sleep. We have not been getting much sleep lately
33:41which is quite unfortunate. She has an appointment today. We're gonna go do that. As you can tell I
33:45did decide to vlog today. I'm on a daily streak and I don't want to ruin it. I appreciate your guys's
33:50support whether my videos are long or short. I just appreciate you guys watching them so much.
33:54It means the world to me. Today is Monday. I'm gonna weigh in. I really need to forget about the past.
34:00Forget that I used to weigh 331. It's so overwhelming to me that I don't even have words for it. I really
34:07just need to focus on right now. Every day I'm just getting closer and closer and closer to my
34:12heaviest weight. I'm about to weigh in. I'm not happy about it whatsoever. I have never felt so big,
34:18swollen, dehydrated in my whole entire life.
34:24My breakfast today consists of mango protein shake. Crystal and I are sharing a plate
34:29in one of these organic multi-grain waffles. Outfit of the day. Today my hair is just up with a black
34:36and white bow. I got the bow from Icing. Black bulb earrings. I forgot where I got these from. Black
34:42and white polka dot scarf that can go either way. I got this from Ross. Pearl bow diamond ring that I
34:48always go to and need when I can't choose a ring. I got from shopmise.com. Just a pink sweater that I got from Walmart.
34:55It's starting to snow. We have white streets.
35:11All right. Go on.
35:14Those little paw prints. Aww.
35:17It has been snowing all day you guys. Currently it's nighttime as you can tell. I can't really show
35:28you the snow from the window. It like reflects weird. We have like a half a foot already and it's
35:33supposed to snow for another 12 hours. Wow. It's honestly so pretty though. It's just so beautiful.
35:38Crystal and I went to Target today with her mother and I got this total hydration sweet peach
35:44chapstick. It's a three-in-one lip care. It is so nice. You open it like that and it's like a clear
35:51color. It literally feels so good on your lips. They also had another flavor but I don't remember
35:57what it was. I recommend this so much. My lips have been so dry lately and this is helping a lot.
36:02Crystal and I are watching The Bachelor. We both literally love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
36:07Do you guys like this show? Leave it in the comments below and let me know. I'm outside at midnight
36:12because I wanted to show you how beautiful it looks out here. Pitch black but the streets are
36:16completely white and I want to feel the snow. I have socks on. I'm standing in- oh wait.
36:22I just turned on the light. I forgot we had one. Look how pretty and it's just falling.
36:31Oh that's cold. I love snow though. Just look at it fall. For some reason it's not staying on the trees
36:37which I find to be the most beautiful when snow is on trees. Another short vlog which I apologize
36:43for. I still hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll see you in my next one. Bye. Good morning everybody.
36:47Woke up to a white Christmas. It's not even Christmas. Don't mind me. Everything is just
36:52white. They haven't done the roads yet. Crystal's parents are about to do our hill. The reason why
36:57they didn't want me to do it is because I don't have a jacket. I don't have a jacket or coat. I do have
37:01one. For some reason the material of it makes me itch and stuff. Very strange. They parked Crystal's
37:06car like on the hill so that when it did snow this whole big chunk without snow so that was pretty
37:11smart. As you guys know I started fresh yesterday on my weight loss. I wanted to just explain to you
37:16real quick what I plan on doing. My stomach hurts so bad right now. Over the weekend I probably ate
37:21over 7,000 calories every day. A lot of that was in chocolates and candy. I even had fast food. I had
37:28Arby's for the first time. I literally like had chest pain afterwards. My goal for this week
37:33is to obviously not eat Arby's and fast food to that sort. Mucky you're ruining my thing. Oh god.
37:41No chocolate. Like no chocolate candy. I had more than I could ever even think of. Now I'm all red
37:48because my dog thinks I'm a jungle gym. So those are just my goals for this week. I plan on drinking my
37:52water of course. I plan on weighing myself on Wednesday if you guys are curious.
38:00I'm gonna stop.
38:02What's that filming? Oh yeah I edited it out. That's what all YouTubers and vloggers do.
38:09Say one sentence and then stop. Depends.
38:13Crystal calm down. Kick in the cat. Kick in the cat.
38:16I just edited that clip. I wanted to show you guys you know just a few bloopers from it. You guys
38:26don't know this. Behind the camera I will probably film about five minutes of me talking and you guys
38:32will probably only see about one or two minutes of it. I will edit so much out whether it be just
38:36stupidness or things I didn't mean to say or mistakes or funniness that doesn't fit in the clip
38:42before it was about five minutes long. Shortened it to about a minute and a half. Look how flippant
38:47adorable these socks are. I love the colors of them. They're so cozy. I have so many of these. It's
38:53insane. Crystal's parents recently got all the cats one of their own little cat pillows. They really
38:58really enjoy them. Monkey over here thinks everything is his so he just lays with it as well. Is that how
39:03your dog is if you guys have babies who have toys or cats? Does your dog think it's all his or hers?
39:09Yes. Go get it. Twinkie's like what? This is what I want. She's so confused. Give her her busy bone. It's right there.
39:18What? No I want to wait for night for that. Let me see the other cat toys. Jax are you a little confused?
39:24I mean that's not y'all's. It is Christmas early.
39:27What you got Twinkie? Twinkie took Jax's mouth. She really needs his mouth.
39:39You want to go outside? You want to go for a walk? Come on. He's about to go in the snow.
39:44All right. Let's go. All right. I'll stay now. Hold on. Don't be going straight away. Don't worry.
39:58He's out there right now. He just got over getting having a cold so I hope he's all right out there.
40:05That pile of snow looks like so fun to just jump in. Oh snow doesn't look cold when it's that fluffy.
40:16It just looks fluffy and fun like cotton or clouds. Do you wish you could go out there baby? Huh?
40:22You want to go in the snows? Oh I'm sorry. You can't. Roads are trying to get cleaned. Look how pretty. I can't get over it.
40:30I can't get over it.
40:50He wants to go out there so bad. He's actually ran out there in the past. If he ran out there in the snow that would be really bad.
40:55Crystal did a online mad lib. I'm about to read it. Don't read it until you're ready. I'm ready.
41:03Oh okay. All a dream it's called. I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had.
41:08I really enjoyed it though. I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs. I've been
41:11working in Tokyo all the cold day. I've been working in Tokyo just to pass the time away. Don't you hear
41:15the whistle kicking? Rise up so early in the morn. Don't you hear me? I'll be shouting Amberlynn, sing your horn.
41:19Amberlynn, won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing your horn? Amberlynn,
41:27won't you sing? Amberlynn, won't you sing your horn? Someone's in the kitchen with Amberlynn. Someone's
41:32in the kitchen I know. Someone's in the kitchen with Amberlynn. Strumming on the old drums. It was the
41:36weirdest dream I've ever had in a long time. I had no idea it was going to be a song. So I started reading
41:41it normal, and then I started singing it, and then I started rapping it. Interesting. It's called
41:46Eduplace. I don't know if you guys have ever done Mad Libs before. She searched online Mad Libs.
41:50It's E-D-U-P-L-A-C-E if you want to do a Mad Lib online. We've been playing a lot of games lately
41:56with Crystal's parents, but today we're playing by ourselves. We're playing the Logo board game.
42:01It's actually really fun. Some cards will have a logo, and you have to answer questions like this
42:05one. Some are potluck, so it's like random questions. This one's Nationwide Insurance, DQ,
42:11Skittles, Levi's, Denny's, Baby Ruth, UPS, Ford, GoDaddy, Sarah Lee, Baskin-Robbins. They have so
42:18many different ones, and you try to win. Obvi. Obvi. Crystal's currently winning. She's red. I'm purple.
42:24All right, Monk. Come on. It's too cold. Oh, do you want in the snow again? Oh, it's a baby.
42:37You have snow in your nose. You have snow in your nose.
42:44I think I'm going to end my vlog for tonight. I hope you guys enjoyed it so, so much. I will see
42:48you in my vlog tomorrow. Bye. Good morning, everybody. I'm trying to choose which healthy
42:53smoothie drink I want. I have Strawberry Parfait Breakfast Smoothie, Mango Protein Plus,
42:58Multi-V Goodness, and Blue Goodness. Oh, the choice is so hard. I think I'm going to go with
43:02Multi-V Goodness. I like to use wine glasses. Don't mind me. It's just a small one. There is 13
43:09three-fourths cherries in this, 43 cranberries, 2 peaches, 20 berries, and 35 pomegranates. So many
43:17vitamins. This is so good for you. It's insane. I'm not very religious at all, as you guys know.
43:22Today is Ash Wednesday, though, where you give something up for Lent. I think it's a fun idea.
43:29Obviously, if I did this, it wouldn't be for, like, religious reasons, but a 40-day challenge
43:33is kind of intriguing to me. I did end up binging last night, which is quite unfortunate. I kind of
43:38want to try to not binge for as many days as possible. I want to reach day 40. I think that
43:44would be absolutely amazing. I honestly have binged, I want to say, about four times a week
43:50for a couple months now. I think this is going to be fun. I want to give it a try. Normally,
43:54you give up something you like for Lent, but I don't like binging. Seeing people give up stuff
43:58for Lent has inspired me to try my hardest not to binge, and I want to count the days down.
44:03This sounds fun. What do you guys think? Are you guys doing Lent, or are you giving up? Leave it
44:06in the comments below. I don't know why he does this, but we always have these sheets over the
44:10side of the couch because the cats like to rip and tear. So if you guys are ever wondering, like,
44:14why there's always sheets and blankets and stuff, it's because they do tear a lot. And for some
44:19reason, Monkey likes to lay under such a thing. Why are you laying under here? Okay, I'll let you be.
44:25Do your thing. Snow has not melted whatsoever. Don't mind yellow spots. We have dog. It's supposed to do
44:32a little bit of snowing tonight, so we've pretty much been housebound for a couple of days, and it's
44:36getting a little cabin fever up in here. Are you going to get it? I got them this toy the other day.
44:42It was only a dollar. I think cats like strings more than anything. What are you doing, lady?
44:49Looks like Charlie likes it. Charlie doesn't play much because he's so old. He's about 19,
44:53so it's nice to see him play. Come on. Oh, smokes. Come on.
45:02Crystal, Charlie was actually playing with this.
45:04The roads are extremely slushy. Crystal's never driven and something like that. We were going to
45:15go to the grocery store tomorrow, but we might have to wait. Oh, hey, guys. Welcome to my home. Here,
45:20just sit right here. Looks normal, right? Looks completely normal. Just plop down, sit down.
45:27Just wait for it. What is this? Oh, I ruined it. Ring, why? Where are you going? It's time for them to eat,
45:44so she's probably thinking I was trying to wake her up. You want your foods? Are you hungry? Let me get
45:48your foods. Oh, I saw you. Oh, yes. That moment when your soft blankets come out of the wash.
46:02They smell so good and they're nice and warm. I was.
46:08Well, that showed in the background. You sit in the blanket. Okay, I'll explain because we washed
46:15all the blankets and they all smell so freaking good. So, you know, no shame in that game. I might
46:21edit that out. That was so funny or I might keep it. Who knows? I'm just going to do it for just a
46:25couple more minutes because I want it burning. Burning. Start. Start your engines. Whenever it
46:33gets chilly up in here, I just wrap this blanket around me. I use this gray blanket for my body and
46:38I am cozied up. Don't ask what kind of face that was because I'll never be able to tell you. I don't
46:43even know. I don't even understand myself sometimes. Tomorrow, Crystal and I are going
46:47to start counting calories again. We haven't actually officially counted calories in months
46:51and months and months and months. We'd start sometimes and then we'd fall off track and
46:56then stop. It was just this whole mess of things. I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see
46:59you in my next one. Bye. I didn't vlog yesterday as you guys probably could tell. I'll do a little
47:03bit of vlogging today. I just needed like a small tiny break. Today, Crystal and I are taking
47:08her grandma to the grocery store and then we have to do our grocery shopping. We're going to go out
47:12to eat and then we're going to go to the movies. Here's my outfit of the day. I'm just wearing my
47:16hair down today. I am wearing this really, really, really pretty scarf with these eyes on it that I
47:21got from Target. A Dreamcatcher necklace that I also got from... Oh wait, no. I got this from
47:26Charlotte Ruse. I'm wearing an elephant ring that I got from shopmissay.com. These really, really
47:31pretty earrings I got from Charlotte Ruse. Just a black shirt with lace. I forget where I got this from.
47:36Comfy cardigan that I got from Gabes. 50 years later and the snow still has not melted. The streets
47:43are pure ice and the snow is now hard as a rock. Seriously? Eh. Alright, so the next one is... I have to get five of a kind.
47:57Guess I'll keep fives.
48:05I got a whopping 108 points. What does that mean? That part is if you used any of the bonuses. I don't know. Oh wait. For each bonus that you get, you get a hundred points I guess. So 69 plus 46.
48:13Oh, you did that already? Mm-hmm. Okay. Crystal got 115 so...
48:20He only won by seven. Finally about to go see the movie. We ended up going to the grocery store, taking her grandma on a few errands. We didn't go out to eat. We just ordered something in. I got lasagna and some zucchini. I have been getting an incredibly amount of negative feedback on my videos lately.
48:50I don't know why. I have a lot of issues. I'm pretty honest with them online. It's a shaky subject. I really, really regret opening up. So personally, I wish I would have just started this channel as a vlogging channel because I adore vlogging. It's a big passion of mine. I absolutely fell in love with it the minute I started.
49:08I just feel like so much negative feedback is happening because of it because I did open my weight loss journey to you guys. It hurts. It really, really does hurt. I honestly cry a lot because of it.
49:19I shouldn't let bullies get to me. I shouldn't let the thumbs down get to me or anything like that. I appreciate those who support me 110% and means the world to me. Everything else really affects me. I don't know how to handle it.
49:31I took a break from vlogging yesterday because of how bad it made me feel. Now I just want to sit here and tell you guys that I don't want to vlog anymore for a while. I don't want to say that because it is my hobby. It's something I love so much.
49:43I don't want to take it away from me, but I don't know what to do. I really hope that somewhere along the line, I'll stop getting such negative feedback and I'll stop getting so many thumbs down.
49:53People will start liking me because I am so honest and people will start liking me because I do take my time and make these vlogs for you guys.
49:59I kind of just wanted to open up and like just know how I'm feeling. I'm feeling emotional because of the whole thing. I hope you guys are having a great day.
50:06Please let me know in the comments below. What should I do about this situation?
50:12So I just got home. I took off all my jewelry, put my hair up, took off my lame clothes, and I'm just gonna relax for the rest of the night. It's almost 12 a.m.
50:21I will see you guys in my next video. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
50:27That's sick.
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