- yesterday
Amberlynn is having issues dealing with her current weight and is unsure how to change her behaviour. She decides today is going to be one of many last days before the big change, eating whatever she feels might make her happy. She understands the consequences since she’s felt them many times before but finds it easier to live with those pains rather than the pain of parting with her comforts. She has some leftover pasta before going to a birthday pizza party then out to eat at a buffet with Beck. She shows us the food they’re getting for the next few days while in the store. We end the day in the bedroom with snacks and a movie.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hey guys! So the sun is all up in my eyes today so if I'm squinting that is the reason why. You
00:09guys know that yesterday I weighed in at 500.4 pounds so that was definitely crazy for me and
00:15I've definitely been a roller coaster from it. Sometimes I feel like I don't care and then other
00:21times I'm just like wow. It's almost as if I knew it was gonna happen one day because it's like my
00:33eating is stronger than I am. My food addiction is stronger than I am. It's a rather uncomfortable
00:39feeling because I just feel like I don't know I don't even know how I feel. I just feel I guess
00:45numb. Numb is a very good word for how I'm feeling. I just want to get into today's weigh-in.
00:51Which was out of the 500s. Let's hope I never go back there because that's definitely scary.
00:56So I weighed in today at 498.8. That means I was down 1.6 from yesterday which even though yesterday
01:03I ate really bad I can see how I am down that weight. I was able to sleep my 8 hours which was
01:10super exciting for me. I was able to sleep my 8 hours. That I really needed. I still feel so freaking
01:15tired and I know it's just from the way I've been eating. My feet are so swollen and they hurt so
01:20bad and even as I feel this way today I'm like you know what today's Sunday I have a birthday
01:26party to go to. We got their gift bags ready. I don't know if you can see them behind me
01:30and I'm still just like I'm gonna have one last hurrah which is insane to me. I have like
01:38itch on my forehead. I don't want to take off my foundation but that's insane to me that
01:41I'm still like oh I'm gonna have one last hurrah. Like every day is a hurrah for me. Like I need to
01:45like shape up but I just figured this video I can show you guys everything that
01:49I eat today which is gonna be pretty bad. So that's a warning already. I know I'm
01:54gonna get a lot of hate but I do anyways no matter what. I'm here to be honest
01:58during all of this. This is what I'm here for. I'm not here to make people
02:02understand the way I think. I'm not here to make people understand my disorder.
02:07I'm not here to make people understand anything. I'm here to just show. I'm here to
02:11show you what I am struggling with usually behind the camera by myself. My
02:15thought process for today is I'm just gonna eat whatever I want. That's bad
02:18because I know tomorrow I'm gonna wake up feeling the exact same way. I'm gonna
02:22have this like numbness slash guilt. My feet are gonna hurt. I'm gonna be swollen.
02:26My hands are gonna be swollen. My face is super swollen. Like I'm gonna feel these
02:30things. But then I'm like oh but tomorrow is Monday. It's a new day. It's a good you
02:35know way to start fresh. It's like every day and I get so many messages every
02:39single day where people are like I'm the same way. I'll do the same thing. I'll
02:42wake up and be like you know actually tomorrow I'll start over. I didn't
02:45realize how common that was and how many messages I've been getting where people
02:48are the same exact way. So it makes me feel better that I'm not alone but it
02:51makes me feel bad that also people are struggling with the same thing that I'm
02:54struggling with because it's so uncomfortable. It's an uncomfortable
02:57feeling. One, two, three, four. It was four words. I haven't written down on paper so I
03:02wouldn't misquote it. Four words that brought tears to my eyes and was the best
03:07advice that I have received in a very long time and she said live with the
03:12discomfort. Who knew four words can hit me right here in the heart. Live with the
03:19discomfort. But anyways I'm gonna show you guys everything that I eat today. I know
03:26right now I am really hungry and I'm gonna eat some leftovers from yesterday.
03:30Becky has like hecka leftovers and she said that we can share it so we're gonna share
03:35some of her leftovers and I know later today I'm going to a birthday party and
03:39I'll just like take pictures of everything I eat because I'm not gonna
03:41film there. I'm gonna take pictures of everything I eat and then do like a
03:44voiceover for it. That's it. So here is my first meal of the day. Just a little bit
03:51of some chicken alfredo with some broccoli and mushrooms and a little bit of
03:55tomato and I have two of these chicken Vans egg rolls. These are about to go bad
04:00today so I was like you know why not. I'm gonna have some of that as well so this
04:04looks pretty tasty. Pretty excited. So I just got done eating so obviously I need
04:09to touch up my lipstick so don't mind that. Y'all everyone always complains that I
04:16have cat hair, cat dander, cat this, cat that, dog this, dog that on me and yes I do. I love
04:25my animals so I'm always on them but you guys I got a lip roller so maybe we can
04:30stop with the complaining over stupid things that don't matter. Look at that. Yeah
04:45there's still a little bit left but we better boo. We better. I have toothpaste on my shirt. I'm a mess.
04:54I'm a mess. An absolute mess.
05:03Can you try me? You're down. What's up now? Yeah.
05:17What's your favorite thing today? Mushrooms.
05:24The strip tonight's really good but there's no more now.
05:29That's hot. I don't need it.
05:33I'm so thirsty.
05:39You're always thirsty, ho.
05:43Baby.
05:44Baby.
05:45You're always thirsty, ho.
05:46I'm gonna eat a shrimp with a potato.
05:48Mm-hmm.
05:49Mm-hmm.
05:50It's so good.
05:51Mm-hmm.
05:52It's so good.
05:53Mm-hmm.
05:54It's so good.
05:56Mm-hmm.
05:58Mm-hmm.
05:59I want more water.
06:00Mm-hmm.
06:01I want more water.
06:03Mm-hmm.
06:04Mm-hmm.
06:05Mm-hmm.
06:06Mm-hmm.
06:07Mm-hmm.
06:08Mm-hmm.
06:09Mm-hmm.
06:10Mm-hmm.
06:11I want more water.
06:13Mm-hmm.
06:14Hey guys.
06:19I'm gonna talk about what I ate today, so far.
06:30hey guys so I'm gonna talk about what I ate today so far right here so at the birthday party I was
06:42having such an amazing time I totally forgot to take the pictures plus my phone was in Becky's
06:47pocket I had two slices of buffalo chicken pizza it was super super good might I add these items
06:54are actually usually the items I usually eat when I go to this place so I also had about 15 potato
06:59wedges which is one of my favorite things I also had about a serving and a half of pasta maybe two
07:05servings it's just this spicy pasta I really like also had a chocolate cupcake it had a little bit
07:11of white sprinkles on top and I had a small piece of chocolate cake it was actually like a camo cake
07:17and then hours later Becky and I went to a Chinese buffet I got white rice some chicken rangoon and
07:24some chicken on a stick and I will also be showing you guys how much of it was left over after my
07:30plate number one that was everything that was left over but I ended up going back for another plate I
07:36just got some potatoes and shrimp honestly was not that hungry I'm gonna eat a shrimp with a potato
07:42I just went because I'm fat like let's be honest I ended up eating every single thing off of there
07:50we're about to go grocery shopping I really want to try harder tomorrow I'm just I don't know I feel
07:57very like yeah I'm numb to the fact that I'm 500 pounds but I'm not like dumb I'm not oh it's okay
08:07that I'm 500 pounds no I'm not it's not like that I want to be a different person I feel like I'm trapped
08:12inside of a body and inside of a mind kind of that isn't like truly mine it's it's really hard to explain
08:19we're gonna do some grocery shopping I still have you know some chicken at home and some ground
08:24chicken I have some shrimp still and things like that a few bags of frozen veggies which I have
08:29been loving a lot lately I need just a few other random things and I'm drawing a blank right now but
08:34I feel like once I go in there I'll be able to figure it out I want to start making like my own
08:38healthy like chipotle bowls and like rice bowls chicken bowls whatever you want to call them I just
08:42enjoy like eating all my food like mixed because most of the things that I do make are good together like
08:47meat rice and veggies like that's always good so anyways I'm rambling so we're gonna go in the
08:52store and I'll do like a little grocery haul I'll show you what Becky gets and I'll show you what I
08:56get speaking of Becky hi I feel like you don't got done yawning I feel I feel like you don't say
09:02hi enough hi enough people like you you amazing people send you messages and flirt they do and
09:10it's weird and it's weird yeah why don't you're probably not serious because you know that never
09:15really happened in real life anyway so you know you like it though no no not from them why because
09:23they're not being serious they're being mean but so you think people who flirt with you are just being
09:29mean yes what yeah I know they're not serious another lying I know they're just trying to get
09:34me away from you that's all it is okay what if they were serious so I'm taking that's you know
09:41another reason why I ignore them I see you I just ignore you
09:46you're silly how many steps you have so far today 5.0 that's crazy you guys something I've noticed
09:55is Becky walks a lot more than we thought you did right yeah like I'm shocked I'm at 3,457
10:04I walk a little bit more than I thought I did too but hold on I'll go see verbatim
10:10see you guys she makes fun of me too let's see how many exactly where does it tell me oh 5,050
10:19that's good oh by the way today has been amazing I have so much fun with like her nephews and stuff
10:27we went to like this pizza place and we played with the arcade we played with the arcade we played
10:32in the arcade oh my god I loved it so much like I had such a freaking great day today what about you
10:37yeah I had a lot of fun it's been just really really a good day as you can tell she's tired
10:42me too so we're gonna go do some grocery shopping and I could do like just the grocery haul like
10:48while it's still in the cart we're kind of far away from home right now so I'm gonna want to put
10:51it away like in the fridge as soon as it gets home so bye I really know that I don't need any
10:56more of these but look this is pioneer woman this is so cool this is also her too I like marble
11:02stuff that's my jam for sure so I'd like to introduce cherry cola oreo kettle corn oreo and a
11:09pina colada oreo that's weird what the heck that's very weird gross like pretty soon they're
11:15gonna have trash oreo booger oreo like they have oreo everything okay so a crazy grocery haul this
11:21is actually a lot more than I thought we needed but I guess we needed a lot so I'm gonna start with
11:26this big old water we needed more water bottles I get a lot of questions in Berlin don't you use like
11:31your containers your cups and stuff like that I do I just get water any way that I can so I got
11:37three salads Santa Fe style a spinach salad with chicken and a Caesar these are all very low calorie
11:43240 230 280 two things of black beans because I'm gonna be making like a bowl of some sort
11:50two taco seasonings five tuna lights and to go with my tuna I just got these everything
11:56pretzel crisps love those two bags of California style vegetable mix this is like my all-time
12:04favorite two bell peppers this is what Becky likes in the breakfast in the breakfast
12:08Amberlynn oh my god this is what Becky likes for breakfast oh my goodness
12:14she got um a bunch of these bolt house farm smoothies this is just what she prefers she got
12:20green goodness strawberry banana berry boost daily greens mango pineapple colada and a mocha cappuccino
12:27I don't I don't think she's gonna be having this for breakfast I don't really know what that is but
12:30she likes just to have the smoothies so if that's what makes her feel good then awesome
12:35we um we also got what is this white cheddar skinny pack I like how the servings are already
12:40just ready to go I think that's gonna help me with portion control it won't make me feel overwhelmed
12:45um we also got some boom chicka pop this is the sweet and salty kettle this is already just
12:50uh packaged so these are gonna be my prepping bowls for when I make bowls and just put them in
12:55the fridge got some scallions this is just a gift for someone so don't mind that they might be
13:00watching so that's everything for that something I want to talk about is a lot of people say
13:05Amberlynn where's your food why don't you ever show your food situation goes like this when I go
13:09grocery shopping I never buy my food or unhealthy food or my food ever ever I never ever do that
13:18whenever it happens it's because I literally am like I need to go to the store I need it now but
13:24since today I knew I'm just eating whatever I want I wanted to show you guys what I'm going to be
13:30buying this time what I would normally leave my house go to Walmart and get but we're just going
13:35to get it now but we're just going to get it now so I can show you guys big bag of cheeto puffs oh
13:42Becky's getting a shirt so and she also got a neuro drink I am getting this dove chocolate and I'm
13:47getting a ramen noodle so I'm eating this tonight this tonight and this she also got a movie space jam
13:52and this is some slime obviously I won't eat this whole bag I'll probably eat all the way down to here
13:57I'm gonna be honest maybe like right here I just want to show you guys that that is everything
14:01so Becky and I are about to watch a movie so that is what we're about to do I have my ramen
14:06in this uh little mug type deal I have my chips I have a right zero and I have my dove my last hurrah
14:15I don't freaking know but I told you guys I'd show you everything I'm gonna be eating today and
14:20that's absolutely everything um so I'll see you guys wait today was day six right so I'll see you
14:28guys tomorrow for day seven fresh start clear mind hopefully so anyways I hope you guys had a good
14:33day today I know I did I honestly did Rarity just knocked down my ring she is a little troublemaker look
14:39at her she's like hmm what else can I knock down today you better not touch my nintendo little girl
14:44okay anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see you in my next one bye
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