- 1 year ago
Amberlynn updates us on how the fast went last night while sharing her weigh in. She and Beck go out to eat with Beck’s sister, and before she arrives, the two do some vlogging. Once home, Amberlynn finds a reason to stop sharing her weight loss journey, and this time, it’s your fault. She compares her first 10 days of the challenge to tv show ratings, and somehow gets it in her head that people dislike her videos because she’s being too honest and trying to lose weight. She says her next step is to talk to a therapist and nutritionist. She also claims that it is easy for her to lie in order to cover up the truth about what she ate during the day. She announces she’ll be taking a break from YouTube, something that she doesn’t end up doing. She decides to rant on Snapchat regarding Twinkie’s lack of appearances in the vlogs and confesses to hiding 95% of her life from YouTube. We get a glimpse of Twinkie and Beck at the end of the Snapchat rant. Amberlynn replies to a Tweet about going to the movies without Beck the day prior.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hey guys
00:02Okay, so welcome to day 10. We're now in double digits you guys
00:07Obviously you guys remember from my vlog the day before I was fasting because I ate at a Mexican restaurant
00:15And I ate all of my calories. So my goal was to not eat for the rest of the day the rest of the night
00:23um I
00:25Did it you guys
00:30After end of my vlog I was so hungry. I don't know if it was mind hunger true hunger
00:36I don't know what it was, but I chugged on a water bottle
00:39I should have probably had more than one because like literally I was so thirsty
00:43But I wanted to go to bed earlier like because I was so hungry and all I could think about was food
00:47So I ended up actually trying to sleep earlier
00:49I was able to do just a little bit earlier, but it was honestly really hard now that I know that I can do it
00:56I'm like super happy about it ten of those hours that I fasted I was awake, so I didn't eat
01:03for ten hours
01:05that's
01:06Crazy, but you know every time that I felt like oh my god, I'm gonna break the fast and stuff like that
01:12I just ignored it about eight of those hours. I was sleeping so I did it and I
01:19I feel very
01:21Happy that I did it and glad that I did it. Well, I think it might have been like six hours
01:26Um, I didn't sleep much last night sucks
01:28I want to try getting eight hours of sleep every night, and I woke up and I started my period
01:32TMI I know but I'm a girl like it happens
01:35I did start my period but mine is like I'll have it for a second
01:38It'll go away for a second or I'll have like I have very unregular periods and I know it's like because my weight
01:44So that kind of sucks. So that made me like oh my god, my weigh-ins gonna be horrible
01:48I feel like I starved myself yesterday for no reason like I literally felt like I was starving myself because I've never fasted so
01:54Hardcore and for me that's hardcore. I know a lot of people are like well, I fasted for three days
01:57So girl come at me. I get it like everyone's different and that was my first time doing that
02:02I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I can say no
02:06I wanted to prove to myself that I have the willpower
02:08I have the
02:09determination if I ever did go out to eat again, which obviously I will in my lifetime like I
02:15Wanted to prove to myself, you know if I ate all my calories super early in the day
02:19Would I be able to still stay under calories limit for the rest of the day?
02:23And I proved it to myself that I can oh no, I feel really good about it
02:26I also wanted to talk about instead of looking at like the bigger picture
02:29I know I have 300 pounds and I have to lose till I reach my like ultimate goal
02:33I don't want to think about that
02:34I do not want to think about that because that makes me feel super overwhelmed
02:37So I want to work this into mini goals
02:40I've had this mini goal for a while now because it seems like I can't get past that point my first mini goal of weight
02:46That the weight that I want to be is 465.8. I mean it's in view
02:50It's it's close, but it just it also feels super far away
02:54So I'm gonna get to my weigh-in for today because Becky and I have to leave we have to go help some people yesterday
02:57I weighed in at 497.8 and today I weighed in at 496.2
03:02So that means I'm down 1.2 pounds. So me starving myself yesterday
03:07I feel like kind of bad saying that but me fasting excuse me me fasting yesterday did work
03:12I wish I would have been down a little bit more weight than that because like I just feel like oh my god
03:16It was so hard you guys every cell in my body and like every just part of me my bones and my everything
03:23It wanted food like my heart wanted food. My mind wanted food. My teeth wanted food. My nose wanted food
03:28Like it's hard to explain but I won. I just kept saying no and I didn't give in so I'm super excited. I'm gonna go. Bye
03:38So yeah, how you doing? What's going on?
03:42I'm good just chilling
03:46Yeah, wait
03:49Waiting for your sister
03:52What are you doing?
03:54Just wondering what you're out to and it feels better to sit outside
03:59It does
04:01Do you even see me?
04:03Yeah
04:09What are you doing?
04:10I got a text message
04:12Yeah, you did
04:13It shows up on my Fitbit. That's funny
04:17Let's shovel in your new hat
04:19New shirt
04:25You look styling profiling
04:26You look styling profiling
04:37So it's currently nighttime
04:39So have you guys ever watched a TV show where there were say 24 episodes per season
04:45It got really really really bad ratings
04:48So they took it off the air and they never continued with it anymore because people didn't enjoy it
04:53Everyone has their own reason for not enjoying something
04:56When you dislike something, I feel like people are a lot louder than when you do enjoy something and people speak upon it
05:03So they take it off the air
05:04Of course there are people who get sad about it and upset about it
05:08But when a large group of people dislike something and only a very low amount of people like something
05:14It's just it's just not gonna
05:16It's not gonna keep running
05:17It can go for a type of food
05:19A song
05:20Eventually, you know
05:21If there's a song played on the radio and not enough people like it, it's gonna slowly stop being played on the radio
05:26Just things like that
05:27I'm experiencing that
05:28I don't read the comments
05:29Ever since I started this weight loss challenge
05:32I haven't read a single comment
05:34There's probably
05:35When I say I haven't read a single comment
05:36I'm talking maybe I've read
05:38Maybe I've read 10 in the last 11 days
05:4210 to 11 days
05:43Maybe 10 comments
05:45Probably not
05:46But possibly 10
05:47I just don't care
05:48I don't want to see it
05:49I don't want to see the negativity
05:51I just I don't want to read it
05:52People are so freaking harsh
05:53I think you they know you
05:55Like they literally think they know my blood type
05:57I feel like
05:58But today I was like okay
06:00You know I was getting a few tweets about my thumbs up versus my thumbs down
06:05Normally I don't care about stuff like that
06:07Like I don't care about the thumbs up and the thumbs down
06:09I usually don't care at all
06:11But they're like you know you need to look at that
06:14There's you know a lot more thumbs down
06:16You need to see why and understand why
06:18And I'm just like it can't be that bad
06:20Like I'm sitting here making videos
06:23Confessing my mistakes
06:26My disorder
06:27My heartbreak
06:28And this weight loss
06:29You guys this isn't easy for me
06:31It's embarrassing
06:32I get ashamed
06:33I edit my videos
06:34And I'm like do I really want to admit to this?
06:36I'm trying to share a story
06:37And let people know they're not alone
06:39But I went
06:40I looked at the thumbs up versus the thumbs down
06:42And it's a drastic difference you guys
06:44So extreme that I had to sit down
06:48And I talked to Becky
06:49And I was like this is like a series that people don't like
06:52This is a song on the radio that people don't like
06:55This is a food that should be taken off the shelves
06:57This is an article of clothing that isn't sold at the stores
07:01This is a bad Yelp review
07:02People are not liking this
07:04Yeah I make these videos for me
07:06It's very therapeutic
07:07But obviously I also make them for you guys
07:09And to see such negativity based around it
07:13Makes me want to stop
07:14I want to stop the series
07:15Doesn't mean I'm not doing it behind closed doors honey
07:17Because I need to lose weight
07:19That is something that needs to happen
07:21I need to see a therapist
07:23I need to call a nutritionist
07:25I need to do these things
07:26Already seen a doctor
07:27Check
07:28Medicine
07:29Check
07:30Now what's next on the list?
07:31I don't know if I want to share these things with you guys anymore
07:32I no longer see a point
07:33I no longer see a point
07:34It's disheartening
07:35Very disheartening
07:36Because not only am I filming everyday
07:39But I'm going deep within myself
07:41To gather these feelings
07:42To film for you guys
07:44I'm editing them everyday
07:45Uploading them for you guys everyday
07:46It's been fun
07:47It's been nice
07:48It's
07:49It has been
07:50But holy crap
07:52I'm trying to better myself
07:54And have some sort of growth
07:56Trying to understand my disorder more
07:58Educate other people about it
08:00It's obviously not a positive thing for you guys
08:02Because look at the ratings
08:04I know a lot of people are like
08:05Oh you shouldn't care about the thumbs up
08:07You shouldn't care about the thumbs down
08:08But why is there such thing as Yelp reviews?
08:10I'm not saying I'm some TV show
08:12Or I'm some like fast food restaurant
08:14I'm not saying I'm a brand of clothing on the shelf
08:16Or anything like that
08:17But I am something that obviously has very low ratings
08:21When it gets that extreme
08:22You take it off the air
08:23This makes me feel like
08:25Why did I even open up as much as I did?
08:27Why did I even think in my head
08:29Oh people are gonna appreciate this
08:31People are going to appreciate me
08:34Being completely transparent about everything
08:37Everything that I put in my mouth
08:39You know how easy it would be for me to come on here
08:41And be like
08:42Yeah it was a bad night
08:43But that's it
08:45Or
08:46Completely lie to you guys
08:48And be like
08:49Oh yeah it was good
08:50It was fine
08:51Yeah
08:52No
08:53I'm literally everyday coming on here
08:54Hoping to reach out to somebody
08:56And help them
08:57I go
08:58And I see this
08:59It makes me feel like
09:00I just don't want to do this anymore
09:02At all
09:03It's too much negativity around it
09:04It's disgusting
09:05And it's not fair
09:06It's not healthy for me
09:07It's not healthy for the people
09:08Leaving the mean comments
09:10I'm sure
09:11Oh this thumbs down a video of a girl
09:13Trying to better herself
09:14I can't wake up overnight you guys
09:15Day one of a weight loss challenge
09:17I can't just wake up and be perfect
09:19We're on day 10
09:20And if I was still like
09:22I'm a completely changed woman
09:24It's not normal
09:25I need help
09:26I know I need help
09:27I get tweets
09:28And this and that
09:29Hey Berlin go get help
09:30Go get help
09:31I'm getting there
09:32This is part of my journey honey
09:34I'm gonna do it my way
09:35I was so afraid to go to the doctor
09:37And I'm so afraid to go to a nutritionist
09:40You guys
09:41And I think that's the next step
09:42In my you know
09:43Little book of cards here
09:44And it's just like
09:45I don't want to even share that
09:46With you guys anymore
09:47And that was something I'm really
09:48I was really excited to share with you guys
09:49And now I'm just like
09:50No
09:51No
09:52I can't do anything right
09:53With you guys
09:54And it's not that I want to do anything right
09:56I just want to be acknowledged
09:57For doing something positive for myself
09:59And I'm not getting that at all
10:00I'm gonna take a break
10:01I'm gonna take a break from YouTube in general
10:03Who knows how long
10:04I've done this a lot in the past
10:05You know
10:06I've gone months not uploading
10:07I've gone weeks
10:08I've gone days
10:09I don't know how it's gonna go right now
10:10But I need to focus on myself
10:12I do love YouTube
10:13But right now
10:14I really really need to focus on myself
10:16This is disgusting
10:18When you like I said rate a series
10:20Oh I don't like this
10:21I don't like this
10:22I don't like this
10:23The writer's gonna be upset
10:24You know
10:25The actors are gonna be sad
10:26You know
10:27The sad thing is
10:28This wasn't acting
10:29This is my real life
10:30That's getting voted down on
10:31I even
10:32I hate that YouTube even has this
10:33I would never watch a video
10:35And thumbs it down
10:36Like it's just stupid
10:37Maybe people don't want to see me better myself
10:39I don't really know
10:40To those of you who enjoyed this
10:41I'm very sorry
10:42You can go to MyFitnessPal
10:43And still message me on there
10:44I have no problem with that
10:46I respond to every single message I get on there
10:48So the link is down below
10:49Feel free to do that
10:50But as for now
10:51I'm done with YouTube
10:53I'm taking a break
10:54And I feel like it'll make me feel a lot better
10:56So
10:57I'm sorry
10:58So I used to be like an insane Snapchat ranting type of person
11:04But I just don't do it anymore
11:05But I'm gonna rant right now
11:07Because I am getting an unbelievable amount of
11:11Where's Twinkie?
11:12Did you get rid of Twinkie?
11:13Where's Twinkie?
11:14First of all
11:15These aren't coming from people who like me
11:17Care about me
11:18Support me
11:19Enjoy me
11:20These are coming from
11:21Condescending
11:23Super, super annoying people
11:25And I just wanna say
11:26Whether I have a dog or not
11:28Is not your business
11:29Because you're just doing it to be passive aggressive
11:32But I wanna let you know
11:33That Twinkie comes before me
11:35And before anyone else
11:36Or anything else
11:37Twinkie is my number one
11:38She my best friend
11:39She my bae
11:40She my daughter
11:41She is everything to me
11:42I would never ever get rid of her
11:44I haven't shown any of my animals
11:46Like Wasabi, Rarity Gray, Twinkie Star
11:49They're all everything to me
11:51And just because I don't show them
11:52Doesn't mean I don't have them
11:53I've been focusing on my weight loss
11:56And making weight loss videos for you guys
11:59Just because I don't show something
12:01Or say something in a video
12:02Does not mean that it isn't true
12:05This just proves that a lot of people think
12:08Everything that happens in my vlogs
12:09Or just everything that happens
12:11Girl, I have like 95% of another life
12:15That you guys just don't see
12:16Or don't hear about
12:18I just, I took offense to this
12:19Because Twinkie is everything to me
12:22So just stop with the rumors
12:24Stop with the assumptions, please
12:26It'll just make my life better and yours
12:28I will talk about this in my upcoming vlog
12:31Because I know not everyone has Snapchat
12:33And Snapchat is so wonky now
12:35That like not even half the amount of people
12:37Who used to see my snaps see them now
12:39And it's happening to everybody
12:40I'll probably talk about this in a vlog or something
12:42I don't freaking know
12:43Or just add this in my vlog
12:44So I have to repeat myself 7,000 different times
12:46But I just want to say like
12:47Calm down
12:49Twinkie is still here
12:51Twinkie is still as amazing and happy
12:53And beautiful as ever
12:55I just, I haven't been showing her
12:57Just like other aspects of my life
12:58I haven't been showing like
12:59The process of me putting on makeup
13:01I don't freaking know
13:02Because I've been focusing just purely on weight loss
13:05So I hope that clears it up for some people
13:07Because I know a lot of people are getting confused
13:09And just making up their own little things up here
13:11So there you go
13:12There she is!
13:14There's mama's baby!
13:15Good!
13:16And this right here
13:17That is elephant
13:19That is Twinkie's favorite toy, huh baby?
13:21She chews on it, sleeps with it, plays with it
13:25And just has a grand old time
13:28Why would people think I would ever get rid of it?
13:32I just, I can't with it
13:33I like literally can't with it
13:34I wouldn't let her
13:35That is my angel
13:37And you know that
13:38That's what I'm saying
13:39Even if you wanted to
13:40I wouldn't let you
13:41But I would
13:42I'd get rid of myself first
13:43You would get rid of me
13:44Yeah I'd get rid of Becky first
13:45Like you guys don't even know
13:46You know how easy it would be for me to come on here and be like
13:54Yeah it was a bad night but that's it
13:56Or
13:58Completely lie to you guys
14:00And be like
14:01Oh yeah it was good
14:02It was fine
14:03Yeah
14:04No
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