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00:00March 24, 2014.
00:04From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
00:08this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
00:20Hey, welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart.
00:24We're back. Thank you for joining us.
00:28Our guest tonight, oh, she puts the huff in HuffPo.
00:32Ariana Huffington will be our guest tonight. But first,
00:36for weeks the big story has been the missing Malaysia Airlines flight.
00:40Today, satellite data seemed to confirm the worst.
00:42I think we all feared this story would end in tragedy,
00:44and so early on we turned to the news media for a sense of sober clarity.
00:48Air traffic controllers in Southeast Asia have lost contact
00:52with a jumbo jet carrying 239 people.
00:56We can't try to get as many details as possible from our sources around the region and the world.
01:00It was an accurate and humble assessment from CNN.
01:04Until they realized,
01:06Oh s***, we've got 23 hours and 59 minutes left to fill.
01:18F*** it, let's go nuts.
01:20And they did, with everything in their bag of tricks.
01:24Giant floor maps, big fake airplanes.
01:26Little fake airplanes.
01:28Holographic airplanes.
01:30No airplane detail left unspoken.
01:34A plane like this is around 61, 62 meters end to end, 61, 62 side to side.
01:42You're telling them what a plane looks like?
01:46Did you forget who watches CNN?
01:52You could just tell 90% of your viewers,
01:54Look out the airport window at the plane they're about to get on.
02:00But of course,
02:02Now,
02:04Man,
02:06Man,
02:10I was just saying CNN is popular at airports as well.
02:12Of course man does not live by hologram alone.
02:14Give me a six bucks!
02:16Flank it!
02:17Now stupid me.
02:18A lot of people have been asking about that.
02:20About black holes and on and on and on.
02:22And all of these conspiracy theories.
02:24Let's look at this.
02:25Noah says,
02:26What else can you think about?
02:27Black hole, Bermuda Triangle.
02:28And then Deji says,
02:29Huh?
02:30Just like the movie Lost.
02:31I know it's preposterous,
02:32But is it preposterous you think, Mary?
02:44Don't answer, Mary!
02:45It's a trap!
02:49Some sort of weird Bermuda Triangle of logic where
02:52Questions are answered before they're asked.
02:56A small black hole would suck in our entire universe.
02:59So we know it's not that.
03:00Bermuda Triangle is often weather.
03:02And Lost is a TV show.
03:09Well...
03:14I know it's a TV show.
03:16But is it, Mary?
03:18Look at me, Mary!
03:20Mary, look at me!
03:24Is it?
03:27You had to drive all the way down to the studio, Mary!
03:29Level with me, Mary!
03:35Wow, did that lower the bar, CNN.
03:37But, uh...
03:39I think you can go lower.
03:40Investigators sometimes use psychics.
03:43Why hasn't anyone considered the services
03:45Of a credible psychic specializing in missing persons?
03:49I mean, it sounds incredible, but they have been used before.
03:52Yeah!
03:54I don't know why we're at it.
03:55Why not use that octopus?
03:56It always predicts the World Cup, Victor.
03:59Why don't we strap some wings to Wolf Blitzer
04:01And just let him loose, because...
04:04In order to catch a plane, you must become a plane.
04:07CNN's missing airline obsession not only doubled their primetime ratings, it itself became news.
04:16Because the only thing less likely than an airplane disappearing out of the sky is CNN's ratings doubling.
04:23Speculation has been replacing hard facts in news coverage.
04:27Earlier this week, CNN anchor Don Lemon brought up the theory that something, quote, supernatural could be at play.
04:35The network is in dire ratings trouble.
04:39They get a pulse.
04:40Okay?
04:41So, the executives order, you guys gotta do this wall to wall.
04:45You better be careful, O'Reilly, or Fox's coverage of CNN's over coverage will be covered.
04:53By CNN.
04:54News loop!
04:55What do you make of Bill O'Reilly speaking the way he did?
04:58I think he's nervous because he lost in the demo, you know, the younger viewership, three nights in a row last week, and he started getting nervous.
05:07Well, of course we all know most of O'Reilly's younger viewers are just coming into the room to make sure their grandparents are still breathing.
05:14I don't...
05:17I...
05:19I think it doesn't count once they put their hand on the...
05:23Once they put their hand on the chest, does that count?
05:26Yeah, it's okay, we can go.
05:29But still, if CNN is hitting ratings gold with the spectro-lometri-tron, Fox News will not be at-spec-ulater-rated.
05:37The most likely scenario, in my view, is the Payne-Stewart scenario.
05:41Something happened with the oxygen on board.
05:43Everybody died.
05:44Hmm.
05:47Well, that sounds likely, but explain what would happen then to the transponders.
05:51And if you please, act it out with as little respect for the victims as possible.
05:56Who shut up the transponders?
05:57Well, that could have been some, you know, in the...
06:01They made a left...
06:02Let's try and go back, I'm choking, I'm choking.
06:04They made a left...
06:06All right.
06:07Either Geraldo is callously play-acting the real death of a real person.
06:12Or his tongue has gone rogue and decided to take him out.
06:16Before his tongue is forced to say something even stranger.
06:18But it isn't!
06:20CNN only, CNN's missing a larger story here.
06:23You have two pilots, pilot and co-pilot, both of them Muslims.
06:26It seemed to me to take a long time for them to begin to look into the backgrounds
06:31or whether they had any political radicalization in their backgrounds.
06:34By the way, there's a good chance a substantial population of the cabin, passengers, are Muslim as well.
06:41So you have to go through.
06:42You have to find out who has political ties.
06:45Uh, extremist ties.
06:46I still believe it's 60 to 75% chance that I am correct the airplane did not crash
06:53and that it's going to be used in a future radical Islamist terrorist movement.
06:58Yes!
07:00Doesn't it seem suspicious to anybody that plane originating in a Muslim country
07:07would have so many Muslim passengers and pilots?
07:11It's a little too convenient!
07:13Don't you think I mean to hear the airlines say it?
07:16There are Muslims and Muslim pilots flying every day without incident.
07:19Well, I...
07:21don't buy it.
07:24You know what, Fox and CNN, this is getting way too heated and weird.
07:28I'm afraid I'm going to have to call mom.
07:30Sometimes in the world of cable news, there's a mismatch between the demand for new information about a story
07:36and the supply of new information that exists.
07:39Our job is not to fill the air by telling bedtime stories.
07:43We will not try to turn the lack of news in this very sad story
07:46into something that sounds like news when it isn't.
07:49You know, Sherman and Mr. Peabody are right.
07:52I think...
08:02An eloquent call to accountability!
08:05Well, maybe they should have CC'd that to everyone in the building.
08:10The plane was clearly manipulated, whether it be by the pilots
08:14or somebody else who may have commandeered the cockpit.
08:17A 5,000 foot runway could have been built along this search path.
08:21It could have even landed at a remote stretch or in a desert somewhere.
08:25I think this is a well-funded, high-tech hijack operation, and it's sitting somewhere in the jungle.
08:32Interesting!
08:34So we're looking for people rich and evil enough to fund a high-tech jungle plane hijacking,
08:40but too dumb to realize they could just buy their own f***ing plane.
08:46But that doesn't mean...
08:48Schultz...
08:52...is against crowdsourcing this.
08:54Get your cell phones out. I want to know what you think.
08:56Tonight's question.
08:57Do you think this plane will ever be found?
09:00Text A for yes, text B for no.
09:03Cause I'm lonely.
09:06And don't worry about it if you're wrong, cause...
09:09There are no consequences for that.
09:11At all.
09:13Ever!
09:16Now, before our break, President Barack Obama was about to get some very good news.
09:31Congress was actually going to allow him to appoint his preferred candidate to a high-profile position.
09:36President Obama is set to make his pick for the next Surgeon General.
09:39The White House announcing he intends to nominate Dr. Vivek Murthy for the job.
09:43The first Indian-American Surgeon General.
09:45Harvard Medical School instructor and tech entrepreneur.
09:49Hold on there, Indian-Americans.
09:51You can have your Ivy League doctor.
09:54Or you can have your tech genius.
09:55You cannot have one.
09:59But he seems eminently qualified.
10:00Looks like smooth sailing for the good ship Murthy.
10:03The second concern I have along the same line is about your comments about guns.
10:09Iceberg!
10:12Someone said the word gun, which of course means it's time for a new segment.
10:16America stands its ground.
10:18So what were Dr. Murthy's comments about guns?
10:21In your tweets of October 16, 2012, tired of politicians who are scared of the NRA.
10:27Those are some of the words.
10:29And I would hope you would know that Americans have a First Amendment right to advocate the Second Amendment.
10:33Yes!
10:35Americans have a First Amendment right to advocate the Second Amendment.
10:38And apparently you don't have a First Amendment right to have a different opinion from that.
10:43Everyone knows the First Amendment only applies the same positive things about the Second Amendment.
10:46That's all.
10:47It says in there.
10:48You have the First Amendment right unless you don't have anything positive to say about the Second Amendment then.
10:52Then you have to shut the f*** up.
10:53You have to shut the f*** up is what I'm saying.
10:55Not to mention, in addition to that tweet, Murthy also supports majority popular ideas like background checks and assault weapons ban.
11:01In other words, stop him!
11:03The NRA and Rand Paul have managed to whip up quite a frenzy over Murthy.
11:08The Surgeon General of the United States ought to be focused on the major health issues of our country.
11:13Heart disease, cancer, stroke, those are the killers.
11:16Against smoking, being against obesity, things that are bad for your health.
11:25You know, bullets are not generally considered superfoods.
11:34They are, as we have learned, low on omega-3 fatty acids and relatively high in lead.
11:39But even if Murphy was anti-gun, he's just the Surgeon General.
11:45He's the nation's official scold.
11:47The worst he could do is put a warning label on bullets.
11:49That's not gonna do anything.
11:52And you know what?
11:54It doesn't matter anyway, Republicans.
11:56The new Senate rules say you can't filibuster nominees anymore.
12:00All the president needs is a simple majority.
12:02He's got more than enough Democrats to do that.
12:04According to the New York Times, quote, opposition from the NRA has grown so intense it has placed Democrats from conservative states, several of whom are up for reelection this year in a difficult spot.
12:15As many as 10 Dems are believed to be considering a vote against Dr. Murthy on those grounds.
12:20Well, I guess that'll teach Dr. Murthy to make wild accusations about politicians being scared of the NRA.
12:26Is nobody in America able to take a common sense approach to guns?
12:34A fifth grader in Ohio is suspended from school for three days after pointing his finger like a gun.
12:41The principal says there is a zero tolerance policy and students have been warned about pretend gun play multiple times this year.
12:48Oh, for **** sake.
12:51I said common sense.
12:53Come on, that's obviously a self-defense finger gun.
12:57Not like he's got one of them high-capacity magazine finger guns.
13:01Just a regular old finger gun.
13:04Why, it's not an assault finger gun.
13:06Either I'm hungry or those look a lot like stacked donuts.
13:20So let me get this straight.
13:21Real weapons are okay, great, completely imaginary weapons are intolerable.
13:25What about something in between there?
13:27A big toy manufacturer making weapons now for girls.
13:30Toy weapons for girls.
13:32Must have taken a long time to figure out how to take a boy's weapon and adopt it for a girl's...
13:39Oh, I see. Oh, okay. That's...
13:41Well, that makes more sense.
13:42Tell me about these gentler, more feminine weapons.
13:45This is eight-year-old Grace Maher's favorite toy.
13:48The Nerf Rebell Heartbreaker.
13:51A pink and sparkly bow and arrow.
13:53But some wonder if teaching little girls to play war games could be sending the wrong message.
13:57Not promoting empowerment, but violence.
14:05She totally nailed that dude.
14:08And you know what?
14:09I'm actually okay with that.
14:10I got kids and I can tell you something.
14:13That kid had it coming.
14:16I don't know what he did.
14:19But he knows.
14:27We'll be right back with my guest tonight, co-founder and president of the Huffington Post.
14:34Your new book is called Thrive, the third metric to redefining success, creating a life of well-being, wisdom, and wonder.
14:40Please welcome back to the program, Ariana Huffington.
14:42How are you?
14:58Tell me about this Thrive.
15:01You say it's the third metric to redefining success.
15:06What are the first two metrics?
15:09The first two metrics of success are money and power.
15:14Wow.
15:17This went from like Thrive to Scarface really quick.
15:21Yes, because that's the point.
15:23If you just look at life in terms of these two first metrics, it is Scarface.
15:27Money and power.
15:28Money and power.
15:29Not only is it Scarface, but it's like a two-legged stool and sooner or later you fall off.
15:34And you see a lot of very successful people falling off.
15:37Money and power.
15:38You get somebody to sit on.
15:39You don't need to worry about that.
15:41But if you include the third metric of success.
15:45Which is?
15:46Which has four pillars.
15:48Third metric, four pillars.
15:49Are you still with me?
15:51Well-being, taking care of yourself, your health, your sleep, wisdom, being able to be wise.
15:57Remember how you said that if you amplify everything, you hear nothing?
16:02If we are perpetually, you know, I quote him regularly.
16:05If you are perpetually plugged into your devices and never connect with yourself.
16:10You run a website.
16:12Yes.
16:14But we also, we run a website, but we also disconnect.
16:17We have email rules so that people don't have to be on email after hours.
16:21We have two nap rooms.
16:23Two nap rooms?
16:24Yes.
16:25So people can nap and you make it so that they can't email?
16:28People can nap.
16:29After hours.
16:30You take away their email after hours.
16:32No, we don't take their email.
16:34We say they don't have to.
16:35You know, they are not expected ones to work emails after hours.
16:40That's kind of a, I like the nap room thing.
16:42How many people work for you?
16:44850.
16:45Mm-hmm.
16:46And you have two nap rooms.
16:47They don't.
16:48They don't.
16:49They are not.
16:50Well, that sounds very relaxing.
16:51They are not.
16:52Tell me about the riots that happen.
16:54They are not.
16:55When tired people fight for nap space.
16:56I must say, the other day I did see two people walking out of the nap room, but I thought
17:00to myself, whatever it takes to recharge you.
17:02Do you think people join the whatever?
17:07Whatever.
17:08That sounds to me like a new category for having to close.
17:10I mean, a new category.
17:12It would be nice.
17:13Did you know that people are so addicted to technology, which is one of the things I'm
17:17trying to help people disengage from.
17:20Mm-hmm.
17:22So they are so addicted that 20% of them use their smartphones during sex.
17:27Anybody here?
17:29No.
17:30But that, if I can say.
17:31Yeah.
17:32That sounds false.
17:34Like that, that sounds like somebody would say like 20% use their cell phones during sex.
17:38How do you know?
17:40I happen to run a sexual cell phone company.
17:43Do you know what I'm saying?
17:46That 20% is you're saying that one out of five people during sex are using their, their
17:52cell phones.
17:53Oh, you may not believe it, but you know, how do you, what do you know?
17:55You're a happily married man.
17:57And you are, and you are, and not only that.
18:02No, I know.
18:03But don't you, when you, when you throw out a statistic like that, don't you have to say
18:08where it comes from?
18:09I talk to experts.
18:10I don't talk to you.
18:11I want this book to be a bridge from knowing what to do to actually doing it.
18:21That's what I'm saying.
18:22I know what to do, but I don't do it.
18:24That's once huge.
18:25Oh, you know what?
18:26I'm going to give you a shortcut.
18:27Just read three points at the end of four sections.
18:30That's 12 points.
18:31It will take you seven minutes.
18:32What?
18:33And three points.
18:34Three simple things you can do.
18:40Just.
18:41I already think to myself to do that, I'm going to need more Adderall.
18:44No.
18:45You can do it.
18:46If you can, I promise you.
18:47Here's the thing.
18:48One very simple thing.
18:49You can start tonight.
18:50I'm going to start tonight.
18:52Okay.
18:53Listen to that.
18:54You take all your devices and all your smartphones and charge them outside your bedroom tonight.
19:00If you wake up at night, cuddle your wife.
19:03Do not look at your smartphone.
19:05Simple, simple piece of advice.
19:09You know, so many people wake up at night.
19:11Can I get up and get it?
19:12No.
19:13You can't.
19:14You can get up.
19:15Let me ask you this.
19:16What if it's crying?
19:17If it's crying.
19:18What if it's scared?
19:19What if it's lonely?
19:20What if it says, I don't know what to think right now.
19:23Where is everybody?
19:24Your phone is going to be more resilient.
19:26So when you wake up in the morning, it's going to be there for you.
19:30And you know, you have dogs.
19:32I have dogs.
19:33How many dogs?
19:34Can they use their phones?
19:36You have, you have.
19:37Right now we have, I believe there are three and there's somebody else living there who's
19:42not, he's not ours, but he's, he's bunking.
19:44We don't really know what his story.
19:46Okay.
19:47So you have all these dogs at home.
19:49You have all these dogs in the office.
19:51Yes.
19:52There's an entire section here on the importance of pets in when it comes to our health, our
19:57blood pressure, our stress levels.
19:59Yeah.
20:00So we all need these things.
20:01Otherwise we're going to just continue this incredibly stress obsessed world that's not
20:07working.
20:08It's not working for men.
20:09It's not working for women.
20:11It's not working for polar bears.
20:13You know how I know that.
20:19I don't know.
20:20You, I swear to God, you have turned to, you're like William Randolph Hearst and Martha Stewart
20:25and Oprah all rolled together now.
20:27And I don't know what the hell is going on.
20:32Take your phone and don't cuddle with it and read just three points of four chapters in
20:4212 spaces and get a dog.
20:49a bucket of seven.
20:51Thank you for doing that.
20:54Nice job.
21:00Especially today on a day when we deal with the supernatural.
21:05When we go to church, the supernatural power of God, you deal with all of that.
21:09But people are saying to me, why aren't you talking about the possibility, and I'm just putting it out there, that something odd happened to this plane.
21:17Bryan Cranston is back to talk about All the Way.
21:21New Colbert next.
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