- 2 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00January 28th, 2010.
00:04From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
00:08this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
00:20Hey, everybody! Welcome to The Daily Show!
00:22Thank you for joining us. My name is Jon Stewart.
00:24What a program we have for you this evening.
00:26Our guest tonight, presidential historian,
00:30Doris Kearns Goodwin is going to be joining us.
00:34He's sitting right over there.
00:38One guest, three names, incredible bargain.
00:42Obviously last night was a huge night in the world of politics.
00:46The night that we heard the one speech that every year is sure to be steeped in pomp and circumstance.
00:50A ritual signifying the power of the highest office in our land.
00:54So without further ado, I give you the president and CEO of the United Republican States of America.
01:04We're going to hear from Governor Bob McDonald.
01:06He's at the State House tonight in Richmond, Virginia.
01:08My eyes have seen the glory of the government.
01:12Yes, that's right. Last night, the Republicans decided to defy the typical studio-based...
01:18It was your night tonight, Mr. President, but there's a couple of things we wanted to add approach.
01:22Good evening, and happy Mardi Gras.
01:24I'm Bobby Jindal.
01:30That's never not creepy.
01:32Instead, the Republicans held their own fun-sized State of the Union, replete with majestic legislative chambers,
01:40overly demonstrative subjects, and a fella out of the Sears president's catalog.
01:46Good evening. I'm Bob McDonald.
01:48Eleven days ago, I was honored to be sworn in as the 71st governor of Virginia.
01:54Wait, eleven? Eleven days ago? You've only been the governor for eleven days?
02:00And you're delivering the State of the Union response?
02:02You know, people, I've learned a few things during my week and a half here in office.
02:09For instance, did you know you can't get an outside line unless you dial nine first?
02:13I mean, this is the craziest phone system I've ever seen!
02:18Now, that's not fair. I mean, the guy may just look like the latest sleek technological advance in politician,
02:24the iPub, if you will.
02:28But you know what? Let's get our hands on it. Let's test this baby out.
02:32What government should not do is pile on more taxation, regulation, and litigation.
02:37Oh, for God's sakes, they didn't even upgrade the operating system!
02:40That's the same s**t that was in the last model! For God's sakes!
02:46Are there, are there any new features to this?
02:49We are blessed here in America with vast natural resources.
02:52Oh, he's an environmentalist.
02:55Maybe this model's solar powered.
02:57We are blessed here in America with vast natural resources, and we must use them all.
03:03Oh, my God!
03:05All of them! Leave nothing behind! My call tonight is this!
03:13Rape this land!
03:16Rape it good!
03:18If there's a tree standing, a drop of oil left, we will have failed!
03:22And then, my people, to Pandora!
03:24But, of course, the Democrats didn't take the Republican State of the Union lying down.
03:32They issued a strong pre-buttal, scheduled to end just minutes before McDonald's speech was given.
03:39And this one was given by a President Barack Obama.
03:43Hmm. Let's listen in.
03:45When I ran for President, I promised I wouldn't just do what was popular.
03:51Mission accomplished!
03:53Boom!
03:55Zing!
03:58Eww!
04:00Actually, the President used his State of the Union message to address his decreasing popularity.
04:06And the sense that his administration might be adrift.
04:11In a nutshell, his speech boiled down to,
04:14F**k me!
04:16No, no, no, my friend!
04:19Oh, f**k you!
04:21And he started in with his predecessor.
04:25One year ago, I took office amid two wars.
04:29An economy rocked by a severe recession.
04:31A financial system on the verge of collapse, and a government deeply in debt.
04:36All this was before I walked in the door.
04:41Yeah, so f**k that guy.
04:44And then, there were the first people I saw when I walked in the door.
04:50You know who you are!
04:52If the Republican leadership is going to insist that 60 votes in the Senate
04:56are required to do any business at all in this town,
05:00then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well.
05:04Just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics,
05:07but it's not leadership.
05:09So, uh, if you will, please accept this hot cup f**k you from me.
05:14Oh, hey, uh, look at this.
05:15The Democrats think this is funny, huh?
05:17Me up here ragging on President Bush and the Republicans.
05:20Oh, Democrats, did you get that email I sent you earlier?
05:22You know, the one with the subject line that read, uh, hold on, let me see.
05:27The Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades,
05:32and the people expect us to solve problems.
05:35Not run for the hills.
05:37I believe the subject line was f**k you, f**k you, f**k you, f**k you.
05:43Now we're rolling, huh?
05:46Now the president is zinging him left and right.
05:48Hey, look at this in the audience of the State of the Union.
05:50Nine ladies came in wearing the same dress.
05:53Oh, no offense, Justices.
05:57Looked good on you, though.
05:59By the way, that reminds me.
06:01The Supreme Court reversed a century of law
06:04that I believe will open the floodgates for special interests.
06:08Including foreign corporations.
06:10To spend without limit in our election.
06:13I don't think American elections should be bankrolled by America's most powerful interests.
06:17Oh, uh, and if I can just refer the Supreme Court to that devastating ruling,
06:23Brown versus the board of f**k you.
06:25Now, who am I forgetting? I've given a speech, I've ragged on Bush, the Democrats, the Supreme Court, Republicans.
06:39Oh, I know. Who's got two thumbs and should go f**k himself?
06:42I take my share of the blame for not explaining it more clearly to the American people.
06:48It's this guy!
06:50Hey!
06:52Yes, President Obama's State of the Union address was a litany of his disappointments.
06:56Each time a CEO rewards himself for failure, a banker puts the rest of us at risk.
07:02Each time lobbyists game the system, politicians tear each other down,
07:05TV pundits reduce serious debates to silly arguments.
07:09F**k CEOs, f**k bankers, f**k lobbyists, f**k pundits.
07:15F**k them all.
07:16Oh, and there was one more thing.
07:20I have never been more hopeful about America's future than I am tonight.
07:36Did not see that coming.
07:44Welcome back!
07:47Yeah.
07:50State of the Union address, it's over.
07:53You're sitting at home, you're probably wondering,
07:55what did I think of that?
07:57Well, did you want to hate it?
07:59Well, you got it.
08:00Try tuning in to Fox.
08:02It's not as presidential as I would expect it to be.
08:05The tone sometimes struck me as very odd.
08:07Yeah, I thought it was a tone deaf speech.
08:08I think that there was quite a bit of lecturing not leading.
08:11Strained and unctuous.
08:12He did not also talk about the trials in New York City.
08:15It was a lot about him.
08:16He used the word I 96 times.
08:18He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and Massachusetts.
08:22All of which he actively engaged in.
08:24And yet it is the same rhetoric.
08:28Yeah.
08:29I mean, geez, everyone knows when you lose a major election that you're actively engaged in, you have to change your politics to reflect those of the winner.
08:38Isn't that right, John McCain?
08:40I'm sorry, that wasn't really a joke.
08:43It's just when I heard McCain say that, it annoyed me.
08:47I guess I could have cursed, but I feel like I've done that a lot to myself.
08:53But what if you really wanted to love the speech, but you were afraid to love again?
08:59Didn't want to be hurt?
09:01Go to MSNBC.
09:02I thought the guy dominated the room, used humor, occupied the middle ground.
09:09I think it's going to be very hard for them to come on later tonight and take shots at him.
09:12Tactically quite smart.
09:14Playful feistiness of his tone.
09:16Well, it wasn't rope-a-dope, I'll tell you that.
09:18It was much more positive and much more seductive.
09:27Of course it was more seductive than the rope-a-dope.
09:32You know what else is more seductive than lying back and letting people rain blows upon you?
09:37Everything.
09:39So the haters had Fox.
09:41The lovers, afraid to be hurt again, had MSNBC.
09:43But what about all the people who watched the speech, but found it too straightforward and understandable?
09:50Well, there's always CNN.
09:53These men and women, Campbell, will help us better appreciate what we're about to see and hear.
09:58Ali Velshi, our senior business correspondent, is at the stimulus desk.
10:02We're going to walk over to the magic wall.
10:03John King is over there.
10:05Solonetta O'Brien just has the results of our CNN flash poll.
10:08What we have is a dial testing group where people can register their real-time reaction to the president's comments as he makes them.
10:16This really is a true statement.
10:18They would argue that that was also somewhat false.
10:21John, Twitter, what's going on here?
10:24Because there's social networking, they're really weighing in on the president's speech.
10:29It's fascinating.
10:30Well...
10:31No.
10:32No, it's not fascinating.
10:33I've never seen a situation where more information helped me understand less.
10:38I'm sorry, you were saying Twitter was fascinating?
10:40I've been on Twitter.
10:41It's not.
10:42But you know what?
10:44I'll let you prove it's not.
10:46Pepperberry, oh my god, education reforms.
10:48I hope, hope, hope those go through.
10:50Go Obama, let's do this.
10:51A very good supporter there.
10:52Did I hear the word bipartisan again?
10:54Nice.
10:55I'm eager to see exactly how Obama plans to help college students.
10:58Gonna be one soon.
10:59Don't understand how it will work, but sounds interesting.
11:02Painful to watch.
11:03Finally, he gets it.
11:04More than 143,000 messages so far.
11:06Some of them, you might say, auditions to join our best political team.
11:09Better sharpen up.
11:10These people are auditioning.
11:11Yeah, they might be good.
11:12Future members of the best political team on television.
11:15The best political team on television, and they apparently can be replaced at a moment's
11:28notice with at finger 69.
11:33Of course, if you watch the speech and afterwards just wanted to have your mind blown, you got
11:43to stick with Chris Matthews.
11:45He is post-racial by all appearances.
11:48You know, I forgot he was black tonight for an hour.
12:00Oh, you know what else you might have forgotten?
12:02You're miked.
12:04I swear to God, this guy's one scotch away from being Ron Burgundy.
12:09For more on the media's response to the president's speech, we are joined by senior political
12:17analyst, Wyatt Cenac.
12:19Wyatt, you've obviously been pouring over all three major news networks.
12:26What kind of valuable insight did you pick up watching the covers last night?
12:30Well, John, sad to say, in many respects, the State of the Union address is rendered meaningless
12:36by road analysis from our media sphere's pompous punditry.
12:40Wholly expected responses delivered with a combination of both breathlessness and boredom.
12:45As though trapped in a Sartre play that they themselves have written,
12:49even this disquisition seems perfunctory.
12:53A deconstruction for the sake of a cheap laugh?
12:56Only by breaking the bonds of this restrictive routine can we hope to ascend to that more perfect ideal of democracy,
13:05which our forebears so boldly envisioned.
13:08Thank you very much.
13:17Wow, whoa, whoa.
13:20I'm sorry.
13:21I just caught myself in the monitor.
13:23I forgot I was black.
13:25Wow.
13:26Look at me.
13:27I'm black.
13:28Oh.
13:29Pants on the ground.
13:30Pants on the ground.
13:31Pants on the ground.
13:32Don't look back with your pants on the ground.
13:36Pants on the ground.
13:37Pants on the ground.
13:38Pants on the ground.
13:39Wyatt.
13:40I'm sorry, Wyatt.
13:41If you could just be post-racial just again for a little moment here.
13:44Sure.
13:45You brought up an interesting point.
13:47What concrete steps could the media take to play this more responsible role in this higher union that you foresee?
13:55You know, John, that's a very good question.
13:58Although, the entire time you were asking it, I was acutely aware that you're a Jew.
14:05Right.
14:06I understand Wyatt, but it's just a...
14:07I'm sorry, John.
14:08When you're talking, all I can think is, what Torah portion did this guy read at his bris mitzvah?
14:14It's not a...
14:15It's not a bris mitzvah.
14:16That's what they're called.
14:17Fine.
14:18Stickle chutzpah.
14:19Whatever.
14:20Look, I know you are trying, but old schnozzy schnozowicz is holding you back there.
14:25Oh, yeah.
14:26Oh.
14:27All right, Wyatt.
14:28Oh, watch out.
14:29I know.
14:30I'm sorry.
14:31I really do try and keep it out of danger.
14:33I appreciate it.
14:34Wyatt, the speech was 70 minutes long.
14:36He used the word jobs 29 times, referred to war seven times.
14:40Oh, hold on.
14:41That's a lot of numbers.
14:42I should close my eyes and pretend you're Asian.
14:44Oh.
14:45Whoa, but not sexy Asian.
14:48Math Asian.
14:49Wow.
14:50Chris...
14:51Chris Matthews really got under your skin, didn't he, with that thing?
14:56What?
14:57No.
14:58Didn't bother me at all.
15:00I watch his show every night, and I never think of the fact that he reminds me of this
15:04big Irish lesbian gym teacher I had in high school.
15:07He's that good.
15:09Thank you very much.
15:11Wyatt Cenac, everybody.
15:20Welcome back.
15:21My guest tonight, best-selling author, renowned presidential historian.
15:24Please welcome back to the program, Doris Kearns Goodwin.
15:26It's not the State of the Union without Doris Kearns Goodwin here.
15:39Nice to see you.
15:40Nice to see you, too.
15:41What did you...
15:42So, President Obama's first State of the Union historic...
15:47What struck you about his speech last night?
15:50Well, you know, the thing that historians think when they think about these speeches
15:53is, I thought the words were good, I thought the tone was good.
15:56I think he may have reminded people why they liked him in the first place.
16:00The question is, will these words lead to action?
16:03That's what really matters.
16:04I mean, for example, LBJ in 65, he talked about Medicare, aid to education, voting rights
16:10for black Americans.
16:11He got them all in six months' time.
16:13FDR in 1941 called for Lend-Lease to help poor beleaguered England.
16:17He got it in three months' time.
16:19That's what really matters.
16:20So, either if you're great or if you're terrible.
16:23I mean, my favorite one is Nixon, right?
16:25He's six months away from...
16:26You don't hear that phrase a lot.
16:28But you'll like this.
16:29He's six months away from being impeached.
16:31He's up there giving his last State of the Union.
16:33He's trembling.
16:34His voice is trembling.
16:35And he means to say, we have to replace the discredited welfare system.
16:39And instead, by mistake, he says, we have to replace the discredited president.
16:43Oh, no!
16:44I meant welfare system.
16:45Now, those are the good ones.
16:47Yeah, those are the real good ones.
16:50Have you ever seen a majority in Congress and have the presidency behave so ineffectually?
16:56You know, even the speech last night, while powerful, in no way, you know, if Reagan was
17:03very able to, whether you agreed with him or not, articulate a simple vision of what he
17:07wanted to do.
17:08I still don't understand why with things like health care reform, they don't say, here's
17:11the four things that are broken.
17:13I could agree with you more.
17:14They don't let you, if you have a pre-existing condition, we're going to fix that.
17:17They don't let us negotiate drug prices.
17:18We'll fix that.
17:19We'll expand Medicare until you're 55.
17:21We'll do that.
17:22And we'll do tort reform.
17:23That's it.
17:24Four simple things done.
17:25So you know what I think he has to do now?
17:27I think he's got to do jobs and financial reform in that exact simple language.
17:31Tell people, go out among the people.
17:33He was on the road a lot this last year.
17:34He's got to stay and go to the people, not go out of the country.
17:37And he's got to tell them, here's the three things we need for jobs.
17:40Here's the three things we need for financial reform.
17:42Get them excited.
17:43But he's a great speech deliverer and he writes a great speech.
17:46But is he a great communicator?
17:48Because I get the sense sometimes that he wants to be too fair.
17:55I think that's true sometimes.
17:56But I think he's on the edge now of being more defiant.
17:59I mean, my favorite part of the speech was when he said to the Democrats, look, you've got
18:03a majority.
18:04We have more people than we've had in decades.
18:05Come on, you've got to not run for the hills.
18:07But didn't that strike you as disingenuous because he's the leader of the Democratic Party.
18:11Well, then he's got to act that way from now on.
18:13He seems cut off from them.
18:15The whole administration seems to be on an island.
18:18You have the Democrats who vow to keep fighting amongst themselves.
18:24And then you have the Republicans who, no matter what happens, are a homogenous block.
18:29And then you have the Obama administration.
18:31They seem like separate units.
18:32Okay, but here's the way to tie them together.
18:34You go out and you have the jobs reform.
18:36You have the financial reform.
18:37You get those bloated bankers.
18:38You tell the country, this is what I'm going to do.
18:40And then you have the Republicans blocking it.
18:42They won't do anything.
18:43You say, okay, go filibuster, you guys.
18:45Let's show what it looks.
18:46You know what it is if you filibuster?
18:47Here's the rules.
18:48You've got to stand on your feet for as long as you do it.
18:51You can only have milk or water.
18:52You can't go to the bathroom.
18:54So, for example, you keep...
18:55Oh, my God, it's just like joining a fraternity.
18:57But wait, you don't have to filibuster anymore.
19:00All you have to do is threaten it.
19:01Well, I'm telling them, let them filibuster.
19:03Do you realize how great they're going to look, these Republicans trying not to go to the bathroom?
19:07When Strom Thurman was filibustering for 24 hours, he took a steam bath to get all the liquids out of him
19:12so he wouldn't have to go to the bathroom.
19:13Finally, he had to go and the filibuster was broken.
19:15So let them try it.
19:17Let them try it.
19:18That was civil rights legislation.
19:19Yeah, exactly.
19:20But the point is they knew what they were filibustering.
19:23I think with health care reform, nobody has any real clear idea of what they're doing.
19:27And the filibuster has become just as women.
19:30Apparently 80 or 85 percent of all legislation now is filibustered.
19:34Is that at an historic high?
19:35No, this is definitely an historic high that's going on.
19:38I mean, for the Civil Rights Act in 1964, they filibustered for 57 days.
19:42And finally, the country got up in arms and they broke the filibuster.
19:45So that's what I'm saying.
19:46Let them do it.
19:47They go there and they read their recipes.
19:49They tell about their women.
19:50They talk about whatever's on their mind.
19:52They're going to look like jerks.
19:53Or assholes in your language.
19:54Thank you, Ben.
19:55I appreciate that.
19:56You know what?
19:57I am a classy guy.
19:58But it's...
19:59The only thing that I would say is it's all well and good to say, well, let them just filibuster.
20:03But I think that's just a symptom of a deeper problem, which is the Democratic majority and
20:08the President of the United States have not articulated a clear legislative vision based on things that are actually broken.
20:15I agree.
20:16He's made a huge mistake by treating Congress as an equal branch.
20:19No.
20:20You like that, don't you?
20:21No, the President is the bully pulpit.
20:24He's got to have the power.
20:25He's got to defy them.
20:27I'm with you.
20:28Really?
20:29Well, on that.
20:30I don't know about the rest.
20:31I don't know about the rest.
20:32All right.
20:33Well, thank you so much for coming and I look forward to seeing you again.
20:35It's always a delight to have you on the show.
20:37Thanks a lot.
20:38Doris Curtis Goodwin, everybody.
20:40Kill it.
20:46Hey, everybody.
20:48That is our show for the evening.
20:50Join us next week at 11.
20:52Now, here it is, your moment of Zen.
20:55We have made some improvement in our barbarity over 300 years, I would say.
21:00No?
21:01Um...
21:03Not gonna go there, huh?
21:05I think right now, at this moment, we're doing okay.
21:09You know, but...
21:10Today.
21:11That's about it.
21:12Madam Speaker.
21:13The President of the United States.
21:16Yay!
21:17Yay!
21:18Yay!
21:19Yay!
21:20Yay!
21:21Yay!
21:22Yay!
21:23Yay!
21:24Yay!
21:25Yay!
21:26Yay!
21:27Yay!
21:28Yay!
21:29Yay!
21:30Yay!
21:31Yay!
21:32Yay!
21:33Yay!
21:34Yay!
21:35Yay!
21:36Yay!
21:37Yay!
21:38Yay!
21:39Yay!
21:40Yay!
21:41Yay!
Comments