00:00She was like, let me just hear you moo, and so I went, moo, like, can you, like, maybe you should try it.
00:06Just see how it feels.
00:08Are you pranking me?
00:11Hey, I'm Charlie XCX, and this is Phoning It In with Elle.
00:16I have been a victim of this show before two times.
00:20I'm practically shaking. I'm so nervous.
00:23I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm seriously shitting myself.
00:27I'm fucking freaking out.
00:30I'm going to call Dakota Johnson, and I'm going to tell her she needs to house a horse that my husband just won at a party.
00:43Hello, Angel.
00:45Hey, babe. How are you doing?
00:48I'm okay, thanks. How are you?
00:49I'm good. I'm good.
00:52Are you in LA right now?
00:54Yeah.
00:55Okay, okay. I'm, like, sorry in advance.
00:57I'm just, I'm really stressed. I'm really stressed. I'm really stressed.
01:00Okay, okay, okay.
01:02Do you like animals?
01:03Sorry, that sounds stupid, but this is actually a big part of the thing.
01:07Yeah, yeah.
01:08Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, good.
01:12That is, like, a really good thing.
01:13Okay.
01:13Okay.
01:14Basically, last night, George and Mattie went to this party.
01:20I have literally got no fucking idea where they went, but they won a horse in, like,
01:28I don't even know how they fucking won this horse, Dakota, but they won a horse.
01:33No, it's not funny.
01:35I don't know.
01:36I don't know.
01:36I don't know, but they won this horse.
01:38Okay, now it's, like, in this trailer, driving around LA, and they're, like, on me to, like,
01:45find a place to put this horse.
01:47Could I, like, keep it in your garden for a bit?
01:52Am I getting pranked by Elle magazine again?
01:57Fuck, I knew it!
01:58I told you, she would know!
02:01Apples!
02:03Yes.
02:03Charlie, also, by the way, when you start to fake cry, I believe you every time.
02:09Ah!
02:10Well, that's good.
02:11Oh, my God.
02:12Okay, okay, well done.
02:14So, no horses for you.
02:15Oh, my God, I love this so much.
02:17Thank you for being a great sport.
02:20Love you.
02:21Bye.
02:22Bye.
02:23Bye.
02:23Bye.
02:27Guys, that was really stressful.
02:30How do you feel?
02:31Like, still really nervous, but at least one's down.
02:36Oh, my God, oh, my God.
02:38Okay, next up, I'm going to call Role Model, and I am going to ask him to help me find my manager.
02:48Hi, it's Tucker.
02:49Hi, how you doing?
02:52Hi, I'm good, how are you?
02:54I'm doing really good.
02:55What are you doing right now?
02:56I am about to drive over to your girlfriend's house.
03:01Oh, fun.
03:02Okay, really, really quickly, I have...
03:06How much money do you need?
03:08All of your money.
03:09I need all of your money.
03:10No, actually, this is, like, kind of a serious thing.
03:12Remember how when I did SNL, I was like, you owe me a favor?
03:18Yeah, I owe you many, yeah.
03:19I'm cashing that favor in now.
03:22Is it the audition thing?
03:24No, it's not that.
03:25It's a different thing.
03:26Okay.
03:27Okay.
03:27It's actually kind of an intense thing, though.
03:30So, as you know, we have the same manager, and I really want to fire Brandon, and I really
03:36need your help to do it.
03:40Yeah, I'm not that guy.
03:42But please, like, I need help right now, because he's literally, like, on Zoom, and I just feel
03:49like if you are there on the Zoom with me, then he won't be as upset, because you're, like,
03:55a new client of his, and that could be, like, really helpful.
04:00Totally.
04:00I just, I think as a gay man, he shouldn't, we probably should keep him around.
04:06But, but totally.
04:08I do have a lot of gay men in my life.
04:11He's amazing and great, but I just feel like I'm looking for a straight man to manage
04:16me now.
04:17Really?
04:19Yeah.
04:19Well, do you think that's a bad idea?
04:22No, I just think that I was in my head this whole time going, hmm, I wonder if she's, like,
04:27lying, and this is a prank, and then right there.
04:29Fuck!
04:29That last line.
04:30Fuck!
04:32Of you thinking you need a straight man to manage you, was the cherry on top.
04:36Oh, God!
04:38You knew it.
04:39Damn, by the way, for the record, I love Brandon, I would never fire him, he's the best manager
04:42in the world.
04:44But, well done.
04:46Bye, babe.
04:46Bye, babe.
04:48When he was, like, I'm not your guy, I was, like, oh, it's really serious.
04:53Okay, I'm going to call Rachel Sennett and ask her to appear in a new film with me about
05:03a woman who falls in love with a cow, and she would be playing the cow.
05:10Hello?
05:12Hello!
05:13How are you doing?
05:14I'm good, I'm just driving to this meeting.
05:19How are you?
05:19I actually just had a crazy meeting with my agent.
05:23So, you know how we've been, like, looking for a project together for ages, and we've
05:28just, like, never found the right one, but we're like, oh my God, we're going to find
05:30the thing.
05:31Okay, this could be the one.
05:34It could be, like, the fucking one.
05:38It's a little bit, like, kind of a bit strange, like, on the surface, but it is actually just,
05:44like, an amazing, like, amazingly well-written, like, romance story.
05:48Yeah.
05:49And so, basically, it's a live-action film about a woman who falls in love with a cow,
05:56and, like, one of us would play the woman.
05:58Is the woman the cow?
06:00It's the woman and the cow.
06:01It's the woman and the cow, and those are the two, like, joint lead roles on the call
06:06sheet, like, one-on-one, woman and cow.
06:09You are, like, more funny than me, so I kind of think, like, maybe you would be playing
06:13the cow.
06:15What do you think?
06:17Um, okay, wait, so, I'm only asking because I haven't seen it, but I'm, like, so is it,
06:23like, a comedy comedy, or is it, like, a romance, like?
06:29Like, is there a sex scene?
06:30Well, I'm just, like, what's the, the tone?
06:36Because I was, like, because it sounds super interesting.
06:38It's just, like, it could go, like, I'm, like, is it, like, so horny?
06:43Oh, my God, she fucks this cow?
06:45Or is it, like, ha-ha, she's fucking a cow?
06:49Like, like, what's the vibe of the, the, the, the, something?
06:52Yeah, like, what's the balance?
06:53What's the balance?
06:54I, I mean, at the minute there is, like, a light sex scene in the script, but I, no, no,
07:04but I, but I, but I, I know, no, but I think they want us to be in it so much that we could
07:09probably, sorry, this coughs really bad, but I think we could probably just, like, nix that,
07:16or we, like, cut away right before.
07:18It's, I would say it's more rom-com.
07:20Yeah, I mean, yeah.
07:21I'm not afraid of a sex scene.
07:22I feel like I'm more, okay, it's more rom-com.
07:25I guess I'm just more wondering, like, I think I would, I would need to probably read it.
07:31You'd need to read it.
07:32You know, to get the tone.
07:34I will send you the script, but, like, one of the big things, and honestly, like, this
07:39is so crazy, like, when I just took my meeting with my agent, she literally made me do this
07:44in the meeting, and I was like, Ali, like, I'm not going to do that, but she was like,
07:48let me just hear you moo, and so I went, moo, like, can you, like, maybe you should try it.
07:53Just see how it feels.
07:59Just go moo, go moo, moo.
08:02Sorry, I've really got something in my throat.
08:04Just do it with a moo.
08:05Oh, my God.
08:09Are you pranking me?
08:13Yes!
08:15Oh, my fucking God.
08:17I am.
08:18I literally was like, by the way, there was 30 seconds where I was down.
08:24I know, I love you for that.
08:26I'm actually scared for the part of me that was really down to fuck you as a cow.
08:31I know.
08:31I'm scared.
08:32Love you.
08:33Love you.
08:33Thank you so much.
08:34I love you.
08:35Bye.
08:35I'll talk to you later.
08:36Bye.
08:37Bye, bye, bye, bye.
08:38That was really, really hard.
08:40To be honest, I'm really surprised that she bought that.
08:46Okay, cool.
08:47For the last one, I am going to call Adela, and I'm going to use Chris, my stylist's phone,
08:52and I am going to tell her that he got arrested for shoplifting.
08:56Hey, babe, this is Charlie on Chris's phone, Charlie XCX.
09:04Hi.
09:05Oh, my God.
09:06Hello.
09:06Hi, how are you doing?
09:09I'm good.
09:09How are you?
09:10I'm actually really not, actually not good.
09:14Oh, my God.
09:15What?
09:15Yeah, I'm so sorry to, this is like one of the first times, well, the first time we've
09:20ever spoken on the phone.
09:21I'm really, really sorry.
09:22Okay, so I was out shopping with Chris on Rodeo Drive, and I don't really know what happened,
09:31but he got like caught shoplifting, and then he got like, I don't know, the store saw, like
09:41the police came in, he got arrested, and I'm just like really freaking out.
09:45I don't know what to do.
09:46I don't know what to do, because as he was like getting in the car, he like threw his
09:50bag.
09:50You need to stop.
09:51What?
09:52What?
09:52Dude, are you on Elle?
09:56Fuck!
09:58Bitch!
09:59Fuck!
09:59Are you on Elle?
10:00Yes!
10:02Fuck!
10:03You knew straight away.
10:05I knew straight away, but you know what?
10:07Really good job.
10:09Wow, the acting.
10:10Listen, I just got my tickets for the moment.
10:12I'm so excited.
10:13Yes, promo.
10:14Yes, Adela promo.
10:16But, you know, if he ever does shoplift, like totally call me.
10:20I'll be there.
10:20Well, you won't fucking believe me, will you?
10:23You'll be like, are you on Elle again?
10:25Thanks, babe.
10:26Bye.
10:27Bye.
10:28Bye.
10:28Bye.
10:30Oh.
10:30She knew.
10:32She was like, Chris would never.
10:33I feel like I'm coming down the end of a long and crazy ride, and I'm sure that there will
10:41be another time where I am on the receiving end of one of these calls again, and I welcome
10:45it.
10:45Thanks so much for watching, guys.
10:48Make sure you check out my film, The Moment, which is out now.
10:50Bye.
10:51Bye.
10:52Bye.
10:52Bye.
10:53Bye.
10:53Bye.
10:53Bye.
10:53Bye.
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11:08Bye.
11:08Bye.
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