00:00You broken character straight away.
00:02Yeah, let's be detectives.
00:04My parents met on stage.
00:05Awww.
00:07Come on!
00:08Owww!
00:10Lie!
00:18Come on!
00:24I'm terrified already.
00:26Preliminary evidence.
00:28There's a theme.
00:29I was once in a rollerblade production of Macbeth.
00:36I had a black cat named Macbeth when I was a kid.
00:39Uh-huh.
00:40I see the theme.
00:41You see the theme?
00:42Yeah.
00:43You see where I'm going with this?
00:44Yeah.
00:45I once said the forbidden word from the Scottish play,
00:49and the stage broke and stopped the show.
00:52What age were you when you had the cat?
00:54About seven.
00:55That's true.
00:56And what colour were your rollerblades?
00:58Black?
00:59I don't remember.
01:00I was very young.
01:01Lie!
01:02Why would he remember the colour of the rollerblades?
01:04Well, he did it like pfft.
01:06Yeah, I was so young.
01:07I was about eight years old.
01:08I was about eight years old.
01:09Where was it?
01:10It was at another school, but it was an extracurricular activity from the school that I went to.
01:15Guys, I smile at the time.
01:17I think that's a lie.
01:18What colour was the cat?
01:19Black.
01:20Black.
01:21She died, and then I got another cat.
01:22Of what?
01:23What did she die of?
01:24Car.
01:25Car?
01:26Too basic.
01:27Car.
01:28I'm serious.
01:29What production were you doing when you said the word?
01:32It was just recently.
01:33It was a few weeks ago.
01:34I said the word Macbeth in the warm-up on stage, and everyone got very angry.
01:39Spook.
01:40And we did a big ritual to try and cleanse it.
01:43What was the ritual?
01:44You go outside the theatre.
01:46You come back in.
01:47You spin around.
01:48You shout, fuck.
01:49You spit on the floor.
01:50Who told you to do that?
01:52My friend John.
01:53Okay, I believe that.
01:54I think that's true.
01:55I think that's true.
01:56That's a great one.
01:57But he said the stage will break tonight.
01:59And the stage broke, and the show had to stop for ten minutes.
02:05I think the eight-year-old on rollerblades.
02:08I don't believe that.
02:09I don't believe that.
02:10Although I would like to see that.
02:12It was extraordinary.
02:14I think the cat and the stage breaking is the truth.
02:17I think you on rollerblades.
02:19Yeah, I agree.
02:20It's endearing, but it's a lie.
02:21Yeah.
02:26The lie is the cat.
02:29I knew it!
02:31Straight off the top!
02:33Come on!
02:34That was good, though.
02:35Eight years.
02:36Were you actually eight when you did the...
02:38Yeah.
02:39That is mad.
02:40Oh, well done.
02:41Well done.
02:48Tell us the truth.
02:49God damn it!
02:50You can't handle the truth.
02:53We're not leaving this room until you tell us the truth.
02:55Preliminary evidence.
02:57My first pet was a turtle that I found in a back garden.
03:01I've been skydiving twice.
03:04And my parents met on stage.
03:06Aww.
03:08You're a broken character straight away.
03:12You're a lesbian detective.
03:13My parents met on stage.
03:14Aww.
03:16You're a good cop.
03:17You're clearly a good cop.
03:18I think the tone of your voice changed slightly on the second one.
03:21With the skydiving.
03:22On the second one, I've been skydiving twice.
03:23Yeah.
03:24So I've been skydiving in Jersey and I've been skydiving at Baldonnell Airport.
03:27Jersey?
03:28Jersey.
03:29In, like, the UK.
03:30Yeah, I know where Jersey is.
03:31My dad's a pilot, so he knew.
03:33See, my thing with the turtle is, like, how did you find a turtle in Ireland in a back garden?
03:38That's just not something that's walking around.
03:40I've actually done that before.
03:43You found a turtle in your back garden?
03:44Yeah.
03:45What's the difference between a turtle and a tortoise?
03:46You tell us.
03:47You found one.
03:48No, I think it was a turtle.
03:49It was a back garden.
03:50I was mowing the back.
03:51We had students who lived two doors up.
03:53I was cutting the grass for them and I heard this hissing noise.
03:56And if anybody knows turtles or turtles, they hiss.
03:58I thought it was a snake.
03:59I found a turtle and we kept a terrible path.
04:01Turtles hiss?
04:02They hiss, yeah.
04:03What was his name?
04:04Tuffy.
04:05Tuffy the turtle?
04:06Yeah.
04:07And what's the last one?
04:08My parents met on stage.
04:09Oh, that's got you.
04:10I believe that.
04:12Don't say that's a lie to me.
04:14It'll break my heart.
04:15Like on stage, they were acting on stage.
04:17My dad was the pirate king and my mom was in the chorus.
04:20Oh!
04:21Yeah, I fell out.
04:25He makes a good argument for them all.
04:28Unless it's like, yes, the turtle thing is true, but its name, it wasn't in the garden.
04:33It was like...
04:34Tuffy.
04:35Tuffy the turtle.
04:36No.
04:37It can't be.
04:38It can't be Tuffy the turtle.
04:39What happened to Tuffy the turtle?
04:40What happened to Tuffy the turtle?
04:41Cross-examination finished.
04:42You're laughing.
04:43Do I have to answer any more questions?
04:44You listen to us.
04:45I don't have to answer any more questions.
04:46You're even laughing at the name that you created called Tuffy the turtle.
04:50I'm not engaging in any further questioning.
04:53I think...
04:54I want the turtle to be true.
04:55I think the skydive is not true.
04:57Yeah.
04:58Are you sure?
04:59Is that your final answer?
05:00Yeah.
05:01Yeah.
05:02Yeah.
05:03The lie is that I've been skydiving twice.
05:06Yes!
05:07Damn!
05:08Yes!
05:09Have you ever been skydiving?
05:10I've never been skydiving.
05:11Have you even ever?
05:12The Baldonald jersey thing, I was like, oh, uh, yeah.
05:15Jersey.
05:16Yeah, Jersey.
05:17I was like, why Jersey?
05:18Where were you in the light of October the 17th?
05:24I'm wine.
05:25Huh?
05:30Oh.
05:31Preliminary evidence.
05:32I'm scared.
05:33Okay.
05:34Preliminary evidence.
05:36I lived in a convent for five years.
05:39I can hear the, like, you know, the cat alarms?
05:42Say it again as it's written, please.
05:44Yes.
05:45Yes.
05:46I can hear the cat alarm meant to ward off cats in gardens.
05:52I was a clown in the circus as a kid.
05:55Like a professional circus?
05:56Yeah, Duffy Circus.
05:57That's true.
05:58What was your specialty?
05:59That's fully true.
06:00I was a clown.
06:01Yeah, what kind of clown?
06:02Can I see?
06:03No.
06:04Her name was Petunia.
06:05I think I believe the clown.
06:06I think I believe it too.
06:07I think the first one is too long to be living in a convent.
06:10Five years.
06:11What age were you in a convent?
06:13From 12 till 17.
06:16That's tough.
06:17I still have a memory that I've been talking about.
06:19That's tough.
06:20Why were you living in the convent?
06:22Because it was a music school off the country that I went to.
06:25And the cat alarm.
06:26What's the second one again?
06:27The cat alarm.
06:28I can hear the cat alarm.
06:29What does it sound like?
06:30It's only animals can hear it.
06:31It's like that very, like...
06:32It's a dog.
06:34No, no.
06:35It's like a thing.
06:36We can only hear those.
06:37It's a thing my husband bought to put into the, like, plants.
06:40Because there was a cat that kept coming over and, like, digging off the thing.
06:44So...
06:45What cats don't do?
06:46What do you mean cats were digging up?
06:47They just dig off dirt and stuff.
06:48That's not true.
06:49Cats don't dig up dirt.
06:50They wee and stuff.
06:51Maybe it's not a cat alarm.
06:53Maybe that's the lie.
06:54It's a car alarm.
06:55Maybe she can hear.
06:56She can hear the thing.
06:57Hmm.
06:58Which I believe.
06:59But I don't believe it's a cat alarm.
07:00Yeah.
07:03This is tough.
07:04I think they're all kind of...
07:05So there's convent, there's cat, and there's...
07:06Clown.
07:07Clown.
07:08The three C's.
07:09That's the theme.
07:11I've swung to cat.
07:12I've swung to cat a bit.
07:14I think the clown, I believe.
07:16I believe the clown.
07:17And then it's top two, I'm not sure of.
07:19Five years in a convent.
07:2012 to 17, though, would be secondary school.
07:24I think it's the cat alarm.
07:25I think it's the cat.
07:26Yeah.
07:27Okay.
07:32I was never a clown in the circus.
07:34Oh!
07:35You wanted to be a clown in the circus.
07:37Desperately!
07:39I would have been such a cute little child clown.
07:42You would have been great.
07:43What would you mean a cat alarm?
07:44I can hear the like...
07:46It's like the...
07:47There's no sound that humans...
07:49It's like a little thin sound.
07:51I can hear like a cat.
07:52See, I felt your desire to be a clown so much
07:55that it felt like the truth.
07:57Great.
07:58And she had a name.
07:59Petunia.
08:00Thanks for watching.
08:01Be sure to watch Hamlet in theaters.
08:03S life of Helen, oh, I good chill aos of them for the
08:10know, to the theater, best that this
08:12Will stand by him and then?
08:16Or how could anyone pick him up or
08:18Oh.
08:19I think there was a lot of time....
08:20You
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