00:00Please take me out of this ditch, Jesse, please.
00:03Oh, my god, honey.
00:04Hello, I'm Jinx Monsoon, and this is Phoning It In with Elle.
00:10I never phone it in.
00:11I'm always in the pocket, baby, present.
00:17All right, I'm going to call Michelle Visage
00:20and tell her that I have dropped a 1,000-pound crystal
00:25through my floor.
00:32Hi.
00:33Um.
00:34You OK?
00:35I, like, did something stupid.
00:39OK.
00:39I bought myself 1,000-pound crystal, right?
00:43It's like 1,000-pound crystal.
00:45They delivered it.
00:46Why was it 1,000 pounds?
00:47Why?
00:48Because it's supposed to.
00:49You mean, like, sterling pounds or it weighs 1,000 pounds?
00:52It weighs 1,000 pounds.
00:54What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:56OK, go ahead.
00:56I just basically immediately knocked it over.
01:00I was messing around with the cats, and it just, like,
01:02and the floor is fucked.
01:05OK, hardwood floors are all fixable.
01:08It, like, went through the floor.
01:10It's, like, poking.
01:11I can't tell until the next person, like, until the person below me comes home to see if
01:16it's, like, poking into their ceiling.
01:19Like, it could.
01:20Is it going through?
01:20I don't know.
01:22It's, like, I can't, I can't even lift it because I'm not strong enough to lift 1,000-pound
01:28crystal that I shouldn't have bought in the first place.
01:31OK, we don't regret you bought it because there was a need to have it.
01:36It's OK.
01:37Don't know how you're going to move it, but we'll deal with that on another day.
01:39Mm-hmm.
01:40But what we're going to deal with right now is everything that you've done can be fixed.
01:45You're human, and mistakes happen.
01:47Michelle, I love you so much because this is a prank phone call, and I love you so much.
01:51Say hi to Elle.
01:54You're such a dick.
01:57I have now video evidence of what a good mom you are to me.
02:02Like, that was kind of incredible.
02:05And I can't wait to get back at you.
02:06Oh, God.
02:07Oh, God.
02:08Oh, God.
02:09OK.
02:10You talk about moving the 1,000-pound crystal some other time.
02:13Yeah.
02:14Have a good time at the theater.
02:16Go fuck yourself.
02:18This is too good.
02:20OK, I think I can pull this off.
02:21I'm going to call Lisa Ann Walter.
02:23And I'm going to tell her that I'm waiting at the dance studio for her for our tap lessons.
02:35Hello, Mama.
02:37Hello, Mama.
02:38I'm at...
02:39What are you doing?
02:40What do you mean, what am I doing?
02:42I'm at the tap studio.
02:43I'm at the dance studio.
02:46Are you...
02:46You're cute.
02:47Are you on your way?
02:49No.
02:50Wait a minute.
02:51Are you talking to Lisa Ann Walter or a different Lisa that you like?
02:53Lisa Ann.
02:54I know who I called.
02:57Didn't my people set up with your people to do that cross promo where we tap dance together?
03:03Isn't that why I'm at the studio right now?
03:07Nobody has reached me about anything.
03:11I have no idea about this.
03:13It's a whole Dancing with the Stars crossover thing.
03:17Oh, my God.
03:17Because you're such a big fan.
03:19How has no one reached you?
03:20They've told me the whole time, like, Lisa can't wait.
03:23Who is lying to you?
03:25This is insanity.
03:26Mama.
03:27It's the same...
03:28It's the first I'm hearing.
03:28I'm in the chair at the studio.
03:31We're working.
03:31In L.A.?
03:32Yeah.
03:33Yeah, I'm in L.A. too.
03:34I flew in for this.
03:36Okay, this is crazy.
03:37I gotta call my people.
03:39No, no, no.
03:39It's okay.
03:40It's okay.
03:40Because this is a prank phone call.
03:42Um, Lisa, I'm so sorry to get you.
03:44I'm so sorry to get you in the chair.
03:46I love you so much.
03:47I promise I'll never do...
03:49I'll never abuse your phone number again.
03:52It's hilarious.
03:53Okay, I love you.
03:54Bye.
03:55Have a great day shooting.
03:56I love you so much.
03:57Okay, tap dancer.
04:00Next.
04:01These are all so good.
04:03I'm gonna call my very good friend, Monet X Change,
04:06and tell her that my psychic told me someone will betray me.
04:10She's gonna believe this in a heartbeat.
04:16Hi, James.
04:18Hi, Monet.
04:20Why are you so exasperated?
04:22It'll be brief, but do you have time for a semi-serious talk?
04:25Yeah, for sure.
04:26What's going on?
04:27I know this is gonna sound crazy, so please hear me out.
04:32Yeah.
04:32So I saw my psychic.
04:35Uh-huh.
04:35And I've seen her many times, and I really trust her, right?
04:39Uh-huh.
04:39And she told me someone close to me is going to betray me.
04:44Oh, God.
04:45I know this sounds crazy, but, like, every card she pulled points to you.
04:52What?
04:52I know.
04:54We have such a good friendship, and I don't wanna, like, think you'd even be capable of that.
04:59But it's, like, the cards, the crystals, the runestones, they all just kept coming up, like, with descriptions that fit
05:08you.
05:08No, girl, you know me. I don't have any hate in my heart for you. Not even a little bit.
05:13Cuz, like, sometimes we don't even think we're going to hurt someone when we're planning something.
05:19No. There's nothing like that.
05:21You promise.
05:23I swear.
05:24This is a prank phone call. I love you so much.
05:28What the fuck do you think you are? Oh, my God.
05:33That's like the runestones. That's not what a damn runestone is.
05:38Okay. I love you so much.
05:40I love you, John.
05:42Bye.
05:43Okay.
05:44I'm gonna try one more.
05:45I'm gonna call Jesse Tyler Ferguson and tell him I have to cancel the rest of my O'Mary performances.
05:56Um, hello?
05:58Um, hello.
06:02What? Why did you answer like that?
06:06I was just so excited to see that you were calling me. I was like, this must be a mistake.
06:11I have over screamed in O'Mary.
06:16Yes, you have. Okay.
06:17I am, like, getting ready to tell the producers that I don't think I can keep going on.
06:24Oh, no.
06:25I wanna offer them, like, a celebrity name to jump in. Is this anything you would consider?
06:33I would, but I just, I can't. I'm in rehearsals for a play right now.
06:38But, like, it's like a once in a lifetime offer.
06:42Please take me out of this ditch, Jesse, please.
06:45Oh, my God, honey.
06:46You can do it, baby.
06:48I have to offer them a redhead.
06:50You can tell them that you would call me.
06:52Should I call Kathy Griffin?
06:53Do you have Kathy's number?
06:55No, she cannot.
06:55I do have her number, and she is not going to be anywhere near that.
06:57She would love it.
06:59It was nothing for nothing more.
07:00You're right, you're right.
07:01Do you need a doctor?
07:03No, I'm completely fine.
07:05I'm prank phone calling you.
07:10You were so genuine.
07:12You're such a dad.
07:13I feel so terrible for you.
07:14I'm such a good actress.
07:16Okay.
07:17You really are.
07:18Are you literally doing it right now?
07:19Yeah, I'm on a camera doing it, yeah.
07:22That is so funny.
07:22I'm just like Billie Eilish.
07:24I'm pranking you, and I'm making the video for Elle.
07:29I love you.
07:30I'll talk to you later.
07:30I love you. Bye.
07:31Bye.
07:32One of the best people on the earth, am I right?
07:35Like, really trying to help me figure out the problem.
07:38I was afraid of what this might reveal about my friendships with these people.
07:44And instead, what it revealed is that my friends are the coolest.
07:49Thank you so much for watching Phoning It In with me and Elle Magazine.
07:56And if you want to see me on stage in London, check out End of the Rainbow.
08:03Just Google it.
08:19Bye.
08:20Bye.
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