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00:00On season two of Just a Dash, there is a real Maddie lost control, and it's a real breakdown.
00:12There's no way I look skinny.
00:13This was not a great experience for me emotionally.
00:18It's only been 20 years since I've done this.
00:20Just had to make this dish, eh, chef?
00:22If this doesn't work, that's when I walk the fuck off stage.
00:25You said to me, I'm going to make consomme, and I was just like, that's a shit idea.
00:32What the fuck is happening?
00:34One of my lowest moments in my life.
00:47Meow.
00:49I'm Maddie Matheson, and welcome to Just a Dash.
00:53On this menu, we'd like to welcome you on today's date, January 57, 1957.
01:01I wanted to show you guys kind of a side of me that you've never seen before.
01:06I'm trying to be elegant.
01:07I'm trying to make a nice episode.
01:08For once, I'm trying to...
01:10I got my hair nice and slicked back.
01:12I think I look really nice.
01:14This is me preemptively wearing my Oscar black tie outfit for when we do win the Oscar for Just a Dash.
01:22I worked in French restaurants, and there's a chef named Paul Bocuse.
01:31Paul Bocuse had this soup.
01:34It's just like this beautiful consomme filled with vegetables, and it gets fucking puff pastry on top of that.
01:41Does anybody know what consomme is?
01:43It's a clarified broth, a clarified stock.
01:47We're going to do something like that.
01:51We're going to do something like that here on Just a Dash today, and we're going to make Michelle a little Michelle fucking consomme.
01:59Like, I can't make this show without Michelle.
02:01Nobody knows how to tie a bow tie.
02:03Go to the part that I care about.
02:06Okay, okay.
02:07What we are going to do is the ultimate skim scum.
02:13Do you guys have, like, robot flies?
02:21The other day, I had some of those beef...
02:23Remember when I made the prime rib sandwiches?
02:25I was like, hey!
02:25I'm going to take it off the bone first.
02:28I made a stock, and now we're going to strain it.
02:35Beautiful.
02:37So, you take some ground beef.
02:39Put that in there.
02:41Four egg whites.
02:43We're going to throw the shells in there.
02:46So, we just kind of throw the shells in.
02:48So, pretty much just take the yolks, throw the...
02:50Add the onion.
02:51Yeah!
02:52Going to take some carrot and one leek.
02:56Now, we're going to blend this, okay, to, like, a meatball.
02:59In this whole episode, we make the raft.
03:02Maddie, maybe you should make a note, like, right now,
03:04that, like, you wouldn't...
03:05You don't eat it.
03:08You don't eat this?
03:10Yeah.
03:11Yeah, I know.
03:11We're making a raft for a consomme.
03:13I have to make it, like, a disclaimer?
03:15Yeah.
03:16I guess I haven't told you kind of what I'm doing.
03:19I'm making a consomme.
03:20I told you guys.
03:22I told you guys what I was doing.
03:28Okay, here we go.
03:29Here we go.
03:29Here we go.
03:29Come on, come on, come on.
03:30Come on.
03:30Give it to me.
03:34There we go.
03:35Let's do a switch out.
03:36We got a fridge cold stock.
03:40Okay.
03:40So, just skim this fat off.
03:46And now, what we're going to do is we're going to straighten it again.
03:48So, what we want to do, you want to kind of get this going and you want to stir it and make a, like, a beautiful spinning thing.
04:01Like a, like a, what's that called?
04:06And we're just going to throw in a raft.
04:09And it's all going to float to the top.
04:12This season, I really wanted to kind of step things up.
04:15This is really fine cooking.
04:18Okay.
04:18I was trying to have a little bit of a reminisce.
04:22You know, French classic technique.
04:26And, uh...
04:27Matty, when's the last time you made consomme?
04:30Cooking school.
04:32We're stirring the raft.
04:34We're stirring the raft.
04:36We're stirring the raft.
04:37So, you're a human ice cream machine.
04:39The raft is taking a long time.
04:42Everyone's waiting.
04:43Everyone is tired.
04:45What happens if it doesn't work?
04:47They didn't want to do it.
04:48They're like, you want to fucking do another fucking episode with fucking soup?
04:52And I was just like, yeah.
04:53The crew doesn't believe in me.
04:55Their faces are very skeptical.
04:58And I got in my own head.
04:59And that's what happens when you get in your own head.
05:02We're going to start getting the...
05:03Could I...
05:03I'm making palace soup.
05:07This is the care that's on set.
05:08It's like this and this.
05:10Did I have a lot of emotional support?
05:13I feel it, James Bond.
05:14You look like you're a lucky used car salesman.
05:17It's a great ceremony.
05:20I'll let you guys decide that.
05:22So, we're going to peel the carrot.
05:24We're going to peel the turnip.
05:26We're going to try to cut up all the vegetables the same size.
05:30Because we want to cook the onions and everything until it's translucent.
05:33This jacket is killing me.
05:35So, I'm going to go to prom.
05:37I'm trying to make an episode.
05:41And everyone's making fun of me.
05:43Yummy.
05:45Yummy.
05:47We're going to use the whites.
05:49And a little bit of the green.
05:51Of the leeks.
05:52It's just really not working.
05:54We're just looking down like this.
05:55You guys just want me to lose it, eh?
05:57Can you fucking hear me?
06:04It has nothing to do with the jacket.
06:05It has nothing to do with it.
06:06You've been saying it has everything to do with the jacket.
06:09Couple pups.
06:11Michael Keaton said it best in Batman.
06:13Wanna get nuts?
06:14Come on.
06:16Let's get nuts.
06:17Let's get nuts.
06:19Can you hear that?
06:22Now, shall we cut up some turnip?
06:25I make this all the time.
06:29You know, this is just like riding an old bike.
06:31A bunch of losers trying to knock you off.
06:32Throwing fucking sticks in your fucking spokes.
06:45I'll fucking ride a bike, you fucks.
06:48Fuck me.
06:48I had a good idea.
06:50I wanted to make this nice soup.
06:51And then everyone starts fucking with me.
06:52Calling me stupid.
06:53Calling me fucking looking like the penguin.
06:55It's like I'm imagining like Danny DeVito, like a penguin.
06:59What?
07:00I am not a human being.
07:02Dude.
07:03That's cool.
07:05Big dog got a little crushed.
07:07Fucking cut a carrot up.
07:12What the fuck's he doing out there?
07:14Oh my God.
07:16Fucking idiot.
07:17So we're just going to cut up the mushrooms.
07:20I'm even going to use the stems.
07:22Season one, we skimmed the scum.
07:24Oh, my jowl got pulled.
07:27This season, we're building the life raft of love.
07:30And we got to stay afloat.
07:33It looks like you're boiling vomit.
07:36It's a raft.
07:38I want to look nice for these fucking idiots.
07:41Denny's doesn't have a wine list.
07:42I know that we came up with this on the fly, but it was either this or mozza sticks.
07:47Can we just do mozza sticks?
07:48We should probably just do mozza sticks now?
07:50Yeah.
07:51I wanted to make consomme.
07:53It's on me.
07:54What the fuck is happening?
07:55What the fuck is happening?
07:55And then, uh, just everything started to crumble.
08:08I think I found some.
08:10This was a roller coaster, this episode.
08:13We've been shooting this show for just months.
08:15It's deep.
08:16It's like an expedition.
08:18The set is a really pretty important thing, I feel.
08:20Michelle!
08:22Like, we're making a cooking show.
08:23You want people to feel like they're invited.
08:25It's like a house party.
08:28And, uh, there's just a completely rotten apricot?
08:35Peach?
08:36I'm wearing a tuxedo.
08:37Why is there moldy peaches on set?
08:39There's two attracting flies.
08:42Maybe that's the reason the flies are here.
08:44That is them telling me, fuck me.
08:47I want to make a good cooking show.
08:49And we're following Billy Zane.
08:51I'm fucking fuck me.
08:53Making really nice stuff.
08:54Remember that beautiful pizza I made?
08:57Has it been open the whole time?
08:58Fuck me.
09:00Cincinnati chili.
09:02What's that, rotten meat?
09:04I'm in the middle of the ocean.
09:06I'm dying.
09:07There's no water.
09:08I'm like, I'm going to make Michelle one of the most iconic,
09:11decadent soups of all, you know, culinary history.
09:16I'm sunburned.
09:16My lips are chapped.
09:18And, um, I'm out.
09:19Ah!
09:21What should I do with this?
09:23Put it on my shirt?
09:26Ah!
09:29Put it right here for a while.
09:32There.
09:32I've got the seeds out.
09:34I don't even got a piece of string to catch a fish with.
09:37Let's finish the soup.
09:43Mama!
09:45Papa!
09:46Nobody.
09:48Nobody.
09:50I'm going to start going with there, I think.
09:57I need a big cleanup.
09:58Do you want it now?
09:59What are you doing?
09:59What are you doing?
10:00If you take it off.
10:01What?
10:01What are we doing?
10:02What are we doing?
10:03Take the front of the soup.
10:05Fuck off.
10:05Fuck.
10:07The raft sprung a leak a couple times.
10:11Fucking gold cufflinks.
10:15Nobody thought that this was going to go well.
10:17Is this going to fit around you?
10:18Want to try it?
10:20Why would you think that that wouldn't fit around my neck?
10:24Do you have a Britney Spears style headset?
10:25I almost walked off set.
10:31And I couldn't because I can't let everyone down.
10:33And when you're not with me, I lose my mind.
10:38Give me a sigh.
10:41Hit me, baby, one more time.
10:44The consomme is ready.
10:48Hi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi.
10:58Step two.
11:02Okay.
11:02A half pound of butter.
11:04We're going to melt that until it's frothy.
11:08Are you cooking along at home?
11:10The first five minutes of this video have been long, I know.
11:13We've edited a lot out.
11:14So, we got all of our beautiful vegetables, our mushrooms, everything.
11:19We're just going to put this all in.
11:21As the vegetables cook, we're going to strain our consomme.
11:26And we ladle it out.
11:33That's plenty.
11:34That's beautiful.
11:37Trisha's going to see this.
11:39You realize that?
11:40Trisha watches?
11:42Trisha won't see this.
11:44You could pass this through a coffee filter.
11:47Maybe I'll do that.
11:48Fuck it.
11:49No, no, no.
11:50We got a coffee filter.
11:52Put that in the bottom of your strainer.
11:53Yeah, come hold this, please, Michelle.
11:56Here, just hold it off camera so then you won't be even in the shot.
11:59We're going to do the old two pass.
12:02Okay?
12:04Oh.
12:06Look at that.
12:07That's fucking crystal clear.
12:08This is fucking what's up.
12:10Yeah, here we go.
12:12Don't look on camera.
12:13See the stream?
12:19Pull it up so they can see the stream a little bit.
12:21Not too high because you're going to make it cloudy.
12:23We'll have to strain it again.
12:25Once we strain it, you should have a beautiful crystal clear consomme.
12:30You have consomme.
12:34Winner.
12:35Get me on.
12:36You have it.
12:36You've done it.
12:37We're getting to the final stages here.
12:39Look.
12:41Beautiful.
12:42Translucent vegetables.
12:43You can smell the mushrooms, the onions.
12:46And then I added the A5 Wagyu.
12:57Want to see some gross?
12:58Look at the other side of this fucking thing.
13:00Look at the other side of that fucking piece of shit.
13:02Look back on my Instagram to New Year's like three years ago.
13:06Guess what I was making?
13:07A5 Wagyu.
13:07It's from there.
13:08We're just going to make this into cubes.
13:11No joke.
13:12I was in my freezer for three fucking years.
13:14And we're going to cube up some of this foie gras.
13:17Okay.
13:17We've got a puff pastry.
13:18We want to roll this out to a nice circle.
13:22Here we go.
13:26How fitting it looks like a toilet bowl.
13:28So, we are going to spoon our vegetable A5 Wagyu mixture into the middle.
13:38We're going to drop all of this foie in.
13:41I'm going to do a little salt.
13:44We're turning it all around now.
13:46Living well is the best revenge.
13:53And now all the butter's on top, so perfect.
13:56That moment, I kind of realized, I was like, why did I just make a consomme to just put
14:02a ton of fat into it?
14:05I just made like four-hour consomme and then just parted a half pound of butter on it.
14:11You watched the amount of time it took to get there.
14:15And now we're going to strain it.
14:16We're going to strain it again.
14:18As the vegetables cook, we're going to strain our consomme.
14:22Look at that.
14:23That's fucking crystal clear.
14:24And then I sabotaged myself because I'm an idiot.
14:40And we got our puff pastry here.
14:44Okay.
14:44Okay.
14:44Okay.
14:45No.
14:45No.
14:46Don't do that.
14:47I said it wasn't big enough.
14:50Fuck.
14:51It just doesn't matter.
14:53Why did I do this?
14:54Just had to make this dish, eh, chef?
14:56And then that's when I went like zero dark third.
15:00That's when I like lost hope.
15:02How fitting it looks.
15:03You're totally dangerous.
15:05You're like a penguin.
15:06I'm getting nuts!
15:09Debbie says you have a wine glass.
15:13Hey, hey, hey, hey.
15:16Come on.
15:27I literally rat-fucked my own consomme so hard.
15:37I rat-fucked it to death.
15:40Now you're out of sight
15:45So show me how you want it to be
15:52Tell me, baby, cause I need to know now
16:00Because my loneliness is killing me
16:08Actually, for the first time, I saw a real meltdown
16:16And when I get really mad, instantly it turns into, like, imposter syndrome
16:27It is pain, I feel nauseous
16:31I'm like, why am I doing this?
16:33Why should I be the person making the show?
16:35And I'm like, well, it's my show, who else would make my show?
16:38Obviously
16:38Can I just make, can I just make hot dogs?
16:47Can you give my back a scratch while you're back there?
16:53That's nice
16:54Watch, watch, watch
16:56Fucking got it
17:03I got the fire!
17:04We all know what I'm talking about when I talk about there was a presence on set
17:13There was a presence on set
17:17All season
17:18There's a fly in here, fuck
17:20All season, there was a
17:22A nemesis
17:24What?
17:25When I caught that fly
17:31When I caught that fly
17:31It all turned around
17:34I got the fly!
17:37That's all I needed
17:37I just needed that win
17:39I needed that win at that moment
17:40The consomme went too perfect
17:43I rise like a phoenix
17:45Everything is great
17:47Caca!
17:48Caca!
17:49And we're going to have a delicious soup soon
17:52I feel like I'm going to vomit
17:55Caca-ca-ca!
17:57Fucking grabbed him
17:59Fucking got him
18:01You see that, Tori?
18:02You see that?
18:17One day, my love
18:21That carries home
18:24You and I, darling
18:30Just leaves on the sea
18:33Carried by currents
18:40To a far away shore
18:43I should've ate it.
18:51I should've fucking ate it.
18:53I should've, in hindsight, I should've ate it.
18:56Because that would've been the best.
18:58Oh my god.
19:00Anyway.
19:02Woo!
19:04Yeah!
19:08So we made something.
19:10Something that I love making.
19:15It's still gonna be absolutely perfect.
19:19But there's gonna be like a half an inch of butter on top.
19:23And foie gras fat.
19:24And this has been quite a voyage.
19:26And we got here.
19:28Look at this.
19:29Watch this.
19:34Look.
19:36Michelle.
19:37I just wanna see.
19:38I need a little bit of the pastry.
19:39Here.
19:40I'll break it.
19:41There we go.
19:42There we go.
19:43Can I tell you a secret?
19:44Yeah.
19:45I don't think I've ever had Wagyu beef like this.
19:48No.
19:49I'm the only person that I think would boil Wagyu beef.
19:54Yeah, the audacity.
19:55This is the time.
19:56This is the episode.
19:57Can you please write happy things down in the comments.
20:00I know that it was gonna be this good.
20:01But I didn't think it was gonna be this good.
20:02Like I feel stupid eating it in this.
20:03Like I should be in a dress.
20:04Mmm.
20:05I'm in a tuxedo.
20:06Yeah.
20:07I'm happy you got to see me become vulnerable and very upset.
20:08I'm glad we're gonna show that.
20:09I literally couldn't have done this without you.
20:10You look so good.
20:11We couldn't do it without each other.
20:12Like this is the episode.
20:13This is the episode.
20:14Can you please write happy things down in the comments.
20:16I know that it was gonna be this good.
20:17But I didn't think it was gonna be this good.
20:18Like I feel stupid eating it in this.
20:20Like I should be in a dress.
20:22Mmm.
20:23I'm in a tuxedo.
20:24Yeah.
20:25I'm happy you got to see me become vulnerable and very upset.
20:28I'm glad we're gonna show that.
20:30I literally couldn't have done this without you.
20:32You look so good.
20:33We couldn't do it without each other.
20:38Like this is the best worst job I've ever had.
20:41This is the best worst show I've ever made.
20:45What does me and Michelle say?
20:47We're raw.
20:48We're raw.
20:49I fill it with fear.
20:51I'm like why am I making this soup?
20:53I'm not a good chef.
20:54I mean we went through a lot of steps to get here.
20:58But at the end of the day.
20:59How many strains?
21:00Lots of strains.
21:01I fell asleep at least three times.
21:03I'm still so crushed.
21:05Just I'm thinking about the cufflinks.
21:07I'm finding.
21:08You have to find it.
21:09Trisha's gonna get mad.
21:10Oh I heard it.
21:11I heard it.
21:12My wife got them for me.
21:14Fuck.
21:15Today we learned a couple things.
21:17Patience is a virtue.
21:19There's a couple of moments in there where I thought I was gonna walk off set.
21:23And I was just gonna cry.
21:24Go on a truck drive.
21:25I cry every day.
21:26I cry every day.
21:27What?
21:28Oh.
21:29Perfect.
21:30But I must confess.
21:31That my loneliness is killing me now.
21:35Perfect.
22:05One more time.
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