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00:00Show open, take one.
00:03In a world where shiplap means serenity and subway tiles sparkle with timeless taste.
00:11Yeah, this isn't that world.
00:14Whoa!
00:15One woman will stop at nothing.
00:18Hurry.
00:19Hey, that's me.
00:21To track down the ugliest houses across America.
00:25Who goes there?
00:26Oh!
00:26She'll journey farther than ever before.
00:31You mean like North Dakota?
00:33Yes, North Dakota.
00:35She'll come face to face with design disasters.
00:39Oh!
00:42Is this the height of the chandelier?
00:46And decode the dysfunctional.
00:49Live, laugh, love.
00:51Not for the animals.
00:52So far, she's conquered the worst of the great plains.
00:57He didn't want to give us a mirror at the sink.
01:00Just everywhere else.
01:04And now she'll take on the Midwest.
01:08And the ugly will have nowhere to hide.
01:12You get too old for the s**t.
01:19The Midwest, a region rife with farmlands and quaint towns and plenty of ugly houses.
01:26But now, just like that V.O. guy said, I'm going deeper.
01:30To North Dakota.
01:32To a town called Mandan.
01:37Mandan, North Dakota.
01:39Or as the locals like to call it, where the West begins.
01:42And looking around, I got it.
01:49I'm here to meet Miriam and see if our first trip to North Dakota leads me to the ugliest house in America.
02:01I will say, it's different.
02:08Well, hello, Radha.
02:10Hi, Miriam.
02:10How are you?
02:11I'm good, and you?
02:12Not bad.
02:14Let's, oh, the wind.
02:15Let's go talk about this house.
02:16Well, that's common in North Dakota.
02:17Yeah?
02:18What is this design called?
02:21Castle on the Prairie.
02:22Castle on the Prairie.
02:23The Prairie, yep.
02:24I'm Miriam, and I live in the castle house in Mandan, North Dakota.
02:28I love turrets.
02:30It had a turret.
02:31It was stucco.
02:32That's unusual for North Dakota.
02:34It had a tile roof, which looked a lot like my house in Arizona that I had to sell.
02:39We came and looked at the house.
02:40I loved it.
02:41My husband, not so much.
02:43And then he finally said, every princess needs a castle.
02:51She fell in love.
02:53She couldn't not have it.
02:54Honestly, this house has so many themes that it was tough to figure out what to look at first.
03:00You have to see it to believe it.
03:02And it's a house nobody else will ever have.
03:06Okay, let's go check out its side.
03:07Okay, that sounds good.
03:08Mariam, you have a white rug as your entry rug.
03:17I do.
03:17I feel like you're looking for trouble.
03:18That's what my kids say.
03:20But it's washable.
03:21In here, I'm seeing things.
03:25That wall is impressive.
03:28Wow.
03:29You want a pen for gold?
03:31What is it?
03:32Fool's gold?
03:32Fool's gold from South Dakota.
03:33Because you think it's gold and it ain't?
03:35It's just shiny?
03:36Yeah.
03:36It's a lot of rock.
03:38I mean, that wall is an attention hog.
03:42Look at me.
03:43Look at me.
03:43Look at me.
03:44I'm here.
03:45Hey, you guys.
03:45Did you see me?
03:46Yeah, we saw you.
03:47We saw you.
03:48You are not discreet.
03:51Would you like to see upstairs?
03:53I would.
03:54All righty.
03:55I feel like that's why I'm here.
03:56All righty.
03:58These are the Scarlett O'Hara steps.
03:59They are.
04:02A little vertigo, though.
04:07When you look in the living room from upstairs, you have to go.
04:18Let's go into the library.
04:23Can I tell you what this carpet looks like?
04:25Somebody threw up.
04:27Somebody threw up pretty prebbles.
04:29Yeah.
04:30What is this wallpaper?
04:32I don't know, but that's original.
04:35I'm guessing.
04:35So you want to see the most amazing room?
04:39Oh, gosh.
04:39I sure do.
04:40Okay, go ahead, Retta.
04:40Okay.
04:41Open the door.
04:48What?
04:49I know.
04:51I know.
04:52I mean, it's a vibe.
04:56What is that?
04:57Well, it's a great soaker tub, but I'll tell you what.
05:00For you, because you're a shouty, for me, my knees will be up to here.
05:08Oh, my.
05:09If you get a view from those mirrors, you can see every anatomy part you could possibly imagine.
05:15I don't know whether to be mortified or impressed.
05:19Where to next?
05:20We'll go back downstairs to the kitchen.
05:27The lamppost in the kitchen, below lights.
05:33Why?
05:34I think it went with this.
05:37Yeah, I guess so.
05:39Let's go downstairs, around the corner.
05:42And they're very narrow steps.
05:45It's a labyrinth.
05:46Oh, I feel something.
05:51Yeah.
05:52It feels different, right?
05:53It has a little give to it.
05:55It's a shooting pit.
05:56Oh, there's wood.
05:57He had a rifle range down here.
05:59This is the pit they would start setting up in, and it's quite large.
06:05Wait.
06:06So he would shoot through that door?
06:09Yes.
06:11There's nothing but land out here.
06:16This is a very interesting home.
06:18And as you may know, you are one of three semifinalists in the Midwest region.
06:23This is our first time in North Dakota.
06:24Well, glad it's at my house.
06:26I'm going to say thank you, and I'm going to make my way out.
06:31So this is the range in the home on the range.
06:43This house looks like a European mixtape.
06:46It's got influences from Spain, Italy, France, and from North Dakota.
06:53What's more awkward than a small soaking tub where you're surrounded by mirrors at all angles?
06:59That's the surprise.
07:01Why do you need a shooting range in the basement when you have a backyard that takes up half the state of North Dakota?
07:09The Midwest is a straight shot to ugly.
07:12With Mandan in the rear view, I venture east, 840 long miles east, to the Midwest's biggest metropolis, Chi-town, baby.
07:24I'm here meeting Joe and Ricky to see how a home can so boldly stand out in a city literally built by architectural legends.
07:43And I see why.
07:48It is standing out.
07:54I feel like I go with this house.
08:02Oh!
08:05Hello!
08:06How's it going?
08:07Joe and Ricky!
08:08Yes, welcome to our home.
08:08Let's talk about this house.
08:10Subtle, right?
08:11Your house is...
08:12Yeah, sure.
08:13Sure, sure, sure, sure.
08:14I almost missed it.
08:16Hi, I'm Ricky.
08:17This is my husband, Joe.
08:18We live in a 150-year-old Victorian house in Rogers Park, Chicago.
08:22This house had been listed, and we had joked about it.
08:24And I was like, why don't we go check it out?
08:26Just like, oh, for funsies.
08:27By the time we finished the tour, he was convinced, and he was like, yeah, we're putting in an offer.
08:33This house is...
08:34It's a staple for the neighborhood.
08:36This neighborhood is known for being eclectic, being an artsy neighborhood, so I know they want to pay homage to that.
08:42Does it need to be everywhere in the house?
08:44That I don't think so.
08:45We do love the outside, but the inside's pretty rough.
08:50Well, let's check it out.
08:51Yeah, let's do it.
08:52Whoa, the colors are inside.
08:55Oh, yeah, everywhere.
08:56That color is called Clambisque.
08:58And Smoker's Yellow and Hospital Green.
09:00Yeah.
09:01Smoker's Yellow.
09:01Yeah.
09:02I mean, right?
09:04And if you look hard, there's glitter.
09:06I don't have to look that hard.
09:08Every surface.
09:09I'm afraid to touch anything, because glitter's for life.
09:13I hate glitter.
09:14You're just always like...
09:21Did you get it?
09:23The previous owners were two artists.
09:25They used, like, every inch of the property as art installations.
09:28And a lot of her art was the art of decay, so she used materials that decayed naturally.
09:34Well, that floor, I can see.
09:35The pink and blue tiles.
09:38Yeah, on top of the other linoleum.
09:42There's hardwood floor underneath that.
09:44It's like an onion, you know?
09:46Okay, where else?
09:47The stairs, for some reason, just really extend.
09:50It's a landing.
09:51It's almost like a stage.
09:52Yeah.
09:53There you go.
09:54Like, we feel like there used to be a banister here.
09:57You should put a little curtain.
09:58I keep touching the wall, touching stuff, and then being like, did I get glitter in there?
10:06You're good, you're fine, it's fine.
10:07How about now?
10:10Headed upstairs?
10:11I think so, yeah.
10:12Let's go check out those doors.
10:13Pink, green, yellow.
10:16These circular windows.
10:18She likes cruise ships, I think, and so she had those installed.
10:22There's skate of them in the house, I think.
10:26We can check out the guest room.
10:28What was on the floor that they couldn't move it to paint that spot?
10:34I actually think that they had a water bed.
10:36So if you have a water bed, you have to either drain it or move it somehow, so it just makes
10:40sense to just paint around it.
10:41That wall.
10:42Is this a design choice?
10:43Nothing.
10:43No.
10:43No, it was just peeling, and then the wallpaper showed up behind it.
10:47She was like, oh, yeah, for sure.
10:50This isn't my jam, I don't know what is.
10:52No, for sure.
10:53Where else up here are we going to look at?
10:55The primary bathroom, right?
10:57Yeah, let's go check out the bathroom.
11:01Doing too much.
11:03Textured wall.
11:04I think they got the pink in.
11:06Oh my God, the tub.
11:08Stop it.
11:09In the listing photos, it looked like it was filled with water the whole time.
11:14This place is where colors come to die.
11:18My outfit walked in, it was like, ooh, old heads.
11:21Grandma!
11:25Ooh, I just got lightheaded.
11:26Ooh, I was just passed out.
11:29I think this is the most stressful room for me.
11:32There's more to be seen.
11:33Yeah.
11:34Let's go see it.
11:40We're at the top of the ship.
11:41Yeah, this is the primary bedroom.
11:43This is the reason that we bought it, because there had to be one room where we could just
11:48go hide.
11:49I'm dead at your bathroom.
11:51You're en suite.
11:52It's an open concept.
11:53You think?
11:54I know couples do their business in front of one another, but that's a bit much.
12:02Thank you for showing me your home.
12:04I'm going to make my way back downstairs.
12:06There's no givesy-backsies on the glitter.
12:09Oh, I know.
12:09That's all I'm saying with you.
12:11That's a gift to you.
12:12Potpourri of pastels.
12:18It looks like a crafty home.
12:22Whenever the previous owner wanted to change something, they didn't remove a thing.
12:26It's nothing but layers.
12:28Layers on layers on layers.
12:30In terms of awkward features, this house has plenty of them, but the glitter takes the cake.
12:35Every time I took something, I was looking at my hands, because I thought there'd be glitter on it.
12:40The surprise was that bathroom, right in the bedroom.
12:44Not a wall, not a door, not a curtain.
12:47Nothing.
12:48Midwest.
12:51Pretty bright future and ugly.
12:55And onwards we go.
12:57Across state lines where I find myself in Indiana's very own...
13:02Chicago?
13:04What?
13:05Welcome to East Chicago, Indiana.
13:10Not quite Chicago.
13:13Definitely not Illinois.
13:16Among these brick houses is my next stop on my quest to find the ugliest house in America.
13:22The owners, Chyna and Leandre, say they have something special.
13:26I say, we'll see.
13:28I mean, we're coming up on our 100th ugliest house.
13:31And at this point, I've seen some things.
13:34Yeah, we're going to have to see what's inside, because not a lot happening.
13:41Hello.
13:42How are you?
13:47Hi, how are you doing?
13:48How are you?
13:50Nice to meet you.
13:51Chyna and Leandre.
13:53Yes, ma'am.
13:53I'm here to see your house.
13:55Well, come on in.
13:56Walk right on in.
13:56All right.
14:04The entryway is lovely and inviting.
14:06Yeah, this is just the beginning.
14:08Noted.
14:08So we have the living room this way.
14:11Yes, ma'am.
14:12This is our living room.
14:13Let's check out the living room.
14:15Yes.
14:22There's nothing to note.
14:24It's just, eh, you know, give me something.
14:29We're here for ugliest house.
14:30So good luck.
14:40My name is Chyna.
14:42This is Leandre.
14:43And we live in the ugliest house in America, in East Chicago, Indiana.
14:46I came across his home at 4 a.m.
14:49I was at work.
14:50I was like, I have to have this.
14:51So I called him.
14:53He was asleep.
14:54She's like, we are going to go look at this house first thing in the morning.
14:57And once I stepped in, I fell in love with it.
15:01It wows you.
15:02It's just very unique.
15:04On one side, it's very normal.
15:07Then you cross over into this addition.
15:11It's mostly marble.
15:13There's a lot of different patterns and textures.
15:15All we need is a disco ball, and we can party all night long.
15:20Okay.
15:20We need to get to the ugly.
15:23We're going to the kitchen.
15:23Next I'll be straight through this door.
15:25Okay.
15:27Spacious, much?
15:34Spacious kitchen.
15:35And spacious dining room.
15:41This is your dining room?
15:43Yes.
15:43Yes, ma'am.
15:43Yes.
15:44The original owner, he owns a well-known restaurant in East Chicago.
15:49So he decorated to mimic the restaurant.
15:53The table weighs a literal ton.
15:55It is embedded in the floor.
15:57Oh, I'm seeing the bottom of it.
15:57So we cannot move the table even if we wanted to.
16:01Hold on a second.
16:01Yeah, it weighs a ton.
16:09What is this about?
16:10We don't know.
16:11I think we wanted the gray-black theme, and then we're like, you know what, let's splash
16:17the color, but only on the ceiling.
16:18And then our back door looks like our front door.
16:22Yeah.
16:23The vibes are definitely off.
16:25Is this supposed to be a bar?
16:26Mini bar.
16:27Yeah, this is our mini bar, and that over there will be our large bar.
16:33Clearly.
16:35This is like someone's fancy grandma's house.
16:38It's what some might call extra.
16:41If you think this is extra, wait till you get upstairs.
16:57I'm so distressed.
17:01It's a lot coming at you.
17:03At once.
17:04The columns match the floors.
17:10You have wallpaper, you have tiles, you have mirrors.
17:14That's another front door.
17:17Yes.
17:17Yes.
17:18So it's that one as well.
17:20That front door.
17:20That front door.
17:23Why so many front doors?
17:24Why so many ornate front doors with locks?
17:30Oh my goodness.
17:31It is.
17:32Extra grandma.
17:36Extra grandma.
17:38And then you step up to the bedroom.
17:40Yes.
17:41More mirrors.
17:42More mirrors.
17:43The bed is embedded in silverware.
17:46Another thing that stuck.
17:48We don't know.
17:51It reminds me of a Catholic church.
17:53Well, like a disco Catholic church.
17:57Like a Catholic church.
17:59We go.
18:02Next, we're going to the bathroom.
18:11Extra grandma.
18:13How much did it cost to fill this tub?
18:15Too much.
18:16Yes.
18:16It takes a long time.
18:17Yeah.
18:17It's very dangerous to get out of, too.
18:20Yeah.
18:21You got a trip to come in the bathroom.
18:22You got a trip to go to the bathroom.
18:24Trip to get into the shower.
18:26Is there a light in there, at least?
18:27No.
18:27No.
18:28So you're just trapped in there.
18:29Yes.
18:30I absolutely want it gone.
18:33Every bit of it.
18:34They can keep the toilet.
18:36Thank you for showing me your home.
18:38Thank you for coming.
18:39All I can think about is how much money was spent for you to be like, we got to get rid
18:45of this.
18:46It's a market for these things.
18:48It's a market for anything.
18:49I'm going to look at all the things we can sell.
18:51It's always nice to spend time at grandma's marble mansion.
19:00It looked like someone was trying to cram as much tile, marble, and stained glass into
19:06a house as possible.
19:08Awkwardness.
19:09There's too many places where I could crack my knee.
19:13Just a drop of water, and that's it.
19:15The surprise is every door is an elaborate front door.
19:19Oh, the Midwest.
19:21It's a lot.
19:23And just like that, the Midwest has three breathtakingly ugly contenders, but only one
19:30house can move on to the finals for a chance at that life-changing home renovation.
19:37The Midwest took us from the plains of North Dakota to the city streets of Chicago, showing
19:43ugly truly knows no bounds and delivering three worthy contenders vying for their region's
19:49ugliest.
19:51It's between a castle-like house with a foolish amount of fool's gold.
19:55That wall is an attention hog.
19:58Hey, you guys, did you see me?
19:59Yeah, we saw you.
20:00The Victorian house-turned-art project, where all that glitters is definitely not gold.
20:07One person's trash is another person's art.
20:11And an extravagantly gaudy home full of far too many tiles, textures, and marble.
20:17It's a lot coming at you.
20:19At once.
20:22Hey, folks.
20:23I'm here to let some lucky homeowners know they have the ugliest house in the region.
20:31So here we go.
20:32Joe and Ricky, Ricky and Joe, how's stuff going in the house?
20:45I'm going to read.
20:46Yeah?
20:47About the same as you left it.
20:48Well, that's good, because you have the ugliest house in the Midwest region.
20:53Oh, that's awesome.
20:55Awesome, I think.
20:56Yeah.
20:56If you move on beyond here, you'll obviously hear from me.
21:00So I'm going to wish you good luck.
21:02Thank you so much.
21:03Well-deserved potpourri of pastels, you are an artistic vision of ugly.
21:08But the question remains, are you ugly enough?
21:12My quest across the country is just getting started, and there's no telling what ugly remains
21:18to be seen.
21:21Coming up.
21:22What on earth?
21:24It literally looks like she's terrified.
21:27Oh, for Christ's sake.
21:30Mirrors on the floor.
21:31Making sure there's no...
21:33Ticks on the privates.
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