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00:00Show open, take one.
00:03In a world where shiplap means serenity and subway tiles sparkle with timeless taste.
00:11Yeah, this isn't that world.
00:13Whoa!
00:15One woman will stop at nothing.
00:18Hurry.
00:19Hey, that's me.
00:21To track down the ugliest houses across America.
00:25Who goes there?
00:26Oh!
00:26She'll journey farther than ever before.
00:31You mean like North Dakota?
00:33Yes, North Dakota.
00:35They thought no one would ever find them.
00:38Do you cry a lot?
00:40I do.
00:41But they were wrong.
00:44Let's settle down.
00:45I mean, they submitted their homes.
00:47And the ugliest one gets a renovation from Allison Victoria.
00:51She will come face to face with design disasters.
00:56Whoa!
00:57Decode the dysfunctional.
00:59What?
01:00We have taken down thousands of dingle, dangle balls.
01:04Every corner.
01:05And journey to a milestone no one saw coming.
01:09Oh, God!
01:11Our 100th ugly house.
01:13I'm getting too old for this s**t.
01:18And the ugliest of them all will be transformed by Allison Victoria.
01:23We pulled off a miracle.
01:25We did it again.
01:26I literally just said that.
01:28So prepare yourself for the ultimate quest.
01:33Fifteen homes.
01:35Five regions.
01:36Zero mercy.
01:38Hasta la vista, bad taste.
01:40The show has been rated H for hideous.
01:42Viewer discretion is highly advised.
01:44We'll always have Paris.
01:46Wisconsin.
01:47The journey to find undiscovered ugly has me heading to the Great Plains, a land known
01:58for its vast stretches of flat grasslands.
02:01First stop, the region's western edge.
02:05And maybe the most remote town I've ever been.
02:08Blanca, Colorado.
02:11Blanca, Colorado.
02:12It is a small town with massive views.
02:17I'm here to meet Brie and see if her house should be considered one of the ugliest, if not
02:22the ugliest, in America.
02:29Hmm.
02:34Do I let them out?
02:36What is happening?
02:40Oh!
02:41Oh!
02:41Hi!
02:43Hello, Reda!
02:44How are you?
02:45Let's talk about this here house.
02:46Yes!
02:49Okay, Brie.
02:50I'm curious.
02:51What is this?
02:52This is my castle.
02:55It is your castle?
02:56Yes.
02:58You didn't build this castle?
03:00No, I did not.
03:00This castle was here.
03:01Yes.
03:03I'm Brie.
03:04I live in Blanca, Colorado with my husband and three boys, and we live in the poor man's
03:09castle.
03:10My husband's a very quirky guy.
03:12Anything that's unconventional, out of the blue, is his vibe.
03:15So this house was clearly right up his alley.
03:18And when I walked in, I was like, this is more than I bargained for a little bit.
03:22We're running solely off of a solar generator.
03:25I have plywood walls.
03:27I have carpet in the kitchen.
03:28I have carpet all throughout the bathroom.
03:31Why do you need so much carpet?
03:34Watch your step.
03:37Dome.
03:38This way.
03:40Watch your step.
03:41What is this?
03:51Brie, what is going on in here?
03:53Too much.
03:55Wait, okay, so what made you buy this house?
03:57So my husband found it online, and he was just obsessed with it.
04:01The photos were awful.
04:03Were they?
04:04I can't.
04:05Could you imagine why?
04:06Imagine.
04:07Because this place is mayhem.
04:11Do you remember what you put in the listing?
04:12A lot of uniques, you know, a lot of artsy, unique, off-grid, gotta come see it to believe it, is priceless to me.
04:23I'm scared to say, what else?
04:26Well, if you want to take a step to your right up those wonky stairs.
04:30That goes somewhere.
04:30It does.
04:36You didn't tell me I was going to have to hike.
04:39Oh my, this hobbit space, what?
04:46It's a little steep.
04:47Yeah, my shoes do not have a grip.
04:50What in God's name is happening?
04:55How am I going to get out of here?
04:58This feels like a giant hamster house.
05:01Can we talk about the fact that there's a shelf on a slanted wall?
05:07We don't put anything up here.
05:08You think?
05:10I have so many questions, even still, after being here nine months.
05:13I just have questions every day.
05:15All right, if we want to venture back down.
05:17Oh God, I don't know how I'm going to do it.
05:22That's one way to get down.
05:24This is old school.
05:34There's one little cabinet there.
05:36One little strip of cabinet there.
05:40That's the size of the sink.
05:42I can't fit my forearm in that sink.
05:46Do you cry a lot?
05:47I do.
05:48I could cry right now.
05:50I would be in tears every day.
05:54Listen, if they ever start the most stressful house in America, I'm putting your name in the hat.
06:00So, where to next?
06:02The bathroom.
06:03Okay.
06:05This is so weird.
06:08I'm not sure why you would need this many mirrors.
06:11He didn't want to give us a mirror at the sink, just everywhere else.
06:15Help me.
06:20The tiny cry for help.
06:23Please.
06:26Let's go upstairs and I'll show you the primary bedroom.
06:30This guy and his carpeted handrails.
06:38There's a doorknob on a sliding door.
06:41You have a family bed.
06:43Yes.
06:44One and a three-year-old, so we co-sleep.
06:46My nine-year-old is in this room here.
06:48At least we have conjoining rooms, but we have lack of privacy.
06:53Bri, I don't know how you're doing now.
06:54I cry every day.
06:56I don't know.
06:57Okay, well, Bri, you are one of three semifinalists in the Great Plains region.
07:02You move to the next round.
07:03You'll be that much closer to a renovation by Alice in Victoria.
07:07Amazing.
07:08I'm going to wish you luck.
07:11Get zen.
07:11I hope I didn't promise.
07:13I don't want to sanitize you too much.
07:14Make my way back down.
07:23Oh, God.
07:25That was mirrored mayhem.
07:27It is madness.
07:31And it's never-ending.
07:33Appearance-wise, I don't know what to tell you, because I went cross-eyed as soon as I walked in the door.
07:38There was too much happening.
07:40There was too much happening.
07:41What was awkward about it?
07:42Better question, what wasn't awkward about it?
07:45There was no functionality anywhere.
07:47The surprise was the staircase was the stairless stairwell.
07:51I'm surprised I survived it.
07:54The Great Plains.
07:55Someone explain the planes.
07:58The quest must go on 400 miles south, to be exact, where I'm hoping to find some unique ugly in Ransom Canyon, Texas.
08:10Welcome to Ransom Canyon, Texas, which sits in a completely carved out canyon with cliffs down to a man-made lake.
08:21Making it feel like a completely different world than the surrounding West Texas Plains.
08:26I'm here to meet Lena and see if this ugly house actually ruins this view.
08:33Look at it.
08:36Look at it.
08:40Interesting.
08:41It looks like a digital dog.
08:58Is this metal?
09:00Looks like metal.
09:04Well, hi.
09:05Hi, Lena.
09:06Retta.
09:06How are you?
09:07I'm great.
09:08Nice to meet you.
09:09Nice to meet you.
09:10Let's talk about this home that looks like a digital dog to me.
09:14So what is it supposed to be?
09:16Um, I think...
09:17Have en Gare?
09:18Robert Bruno Jr. constructed this home.
09:21He was a metal sculpture artist.
09:23Hi, I'm Lena.
09:25I live in Ransom Canyon, Texas with my kids and my dog, Daisy.
09:30The house is a living sculpture, so not everything is functional.
09:34There are no straight edges.
09:35Everything's round.
09:36You see sweeping staircases down to these weird abyss-like corridors.
09:42I'm an artist, and I want to make it an artist retreat, but the house definitely gives ugly vibes.
09:51Oh, yeah.
09:52It is Ironwork City.
09:55Metal everywhere, glass everywhere.
10:01No straight lines whatsoever, other than the floor, but I tell you, that's probably not even either.
10:05Oh, bleep.
10:06Um...
10:06You're safe.
10:08You're perfectly safe.
10:09I definitely was scared I was going to fall off this whole ledge.
10:13Where to?
10:14Well, I think this room first.
10:16This, I like to call the blue room.
10:22Whoa.
10:23So no curtains?
10:24Yeah.
10:25At night, the light shines through the stained glass from the outside, and this room turns a really amazing color of blue.
10:33I need to be able to close my eyes and see nothing.
10:35The bathroom is right up the stairway, and there isn't a door, so there's no privacy.
10:42It's the bathroom to this room?
10:43To this room, to the downstairs.
10:46It's very much a shared space.
10:48No.
10:50Those stairs are a no.
10:52It's definitely taking a little tumble at night.
10:56I don't think there were plans.
10:58It's a lot of just randomness.
11:01What else are we going to see?
11:03You ready to see more curved windows?
11:05Sure.
11:06Yeah?
11:06All right.
11:08Whoa.
11:10Okay.
11:12The view, I can get behind, but this feels dangerous.
11:17And then there's, like, just the littlest lift.
11:19Even this, I was like, oh.
11:20Yes.
11:21Yes.
11:21Dangerous.
11:23Dangerous.
11:25Dangerous.
11:28Dangerous.
11:30Okay.
11:31Where to next?
11:31Downstairs into one of the legs.
11:35The legs holding the building up.
11:37Yes.
11:37So this is a foot?
11:39This is a foot.
11:40This is a leg.
11:41I would not survive this house.
11:44There's no railings.
11:46This is an office.
11:48This is an office, yes.
11:51Robert is also with us here.
11:54I know you like creepy things a little bit.
11:56No, I don't.
11:56No?
11:57I do it before the check.
11:59I was like, you know, this is ugly.
12:00It's not scary.
12:01It's hilarious, right?
12:02Where's Robert?
12:03Robert's here in his house.
12:05Yeah.
12:07Where, girl?
12:08Where?
12:09His ashes are down in this leg.
12:11Oh, his ashes.
12:12Yeah.
12:13That's enough of a tomb.
12:14Thank you very much.
12:15So let's head upstairs.
12:22Is this the snout?
12:23The snout of the pig, yeah.
12:25Or the dog, the digital dog.
12:29So that's the bow of the bow wow.
12:32I mean, it's not a lot of usable space, right?
12:35I do have questions about how the square footage was calculated.
12:38Are the legs livable?
12:39I don't know if those should count.
12:43Okay, so thank you for showing me your home, and I'm going to wish you luck.
12:47Do you ever slide down here?
12:49I haven't tried that one.
12:50No?
12:50That one's a bit aggressive.
12:51Yeah?
12:52Yeah.
12:53That was the man-made metal nut overlooking the man-made lake.
12:58Appearance.
12:59All I see is danger.
13:01It looks like a death trap to me.
13:04It's a death trap.
13:05You want to talk about awkward?
13:06A bathroom that serves all the floors.
13:09Were there locks on those round doors?
13:11The surprise is that they tried to make a room out of the leg of this building.
13:16Great Plains.
13:18That's a no from me, dog.
13:20That'll do.
13:23There's one last house for me to see on my quest through the far reaches of the Great Plains.
13:29So I'm heading 565 miles north to Morrison, Colorado.
13:33Here you can find Dinosaur Ridge, Red Rocks Amphitheater, and the house where Kristen and Mike
13:42think it was worth my trip up this scary-ass winding road.
13:56It is ginormous.
14:03Hi.
14:07Hello.
14:08Hi, Rhett.
14:09How are you?
14:10Hi, Mike.
14:10How are you?
14:11Yes.
14:11We're doing well.
14:12How are you?
14:13I'm good.
14:14Did you make it up the driveway okay?
14:16That is the scariest driveway.
14:18Yeah.
14:18It's not fun.
14:20My name is Kristen.
14:21This is my husband, Mike.
14:22We live in Morrison, Colorado in a funky house on the hill.
14:25We found the house online, looking for a place to live with the kids.
14:31After we saw the house, I'm like, no way.
14:34And Kristen said she loved it.
14:36So happy wife, happy life.
14:40Our daughter and my son-in-law came with.
14:43And when she said, I can see grandchildren here, I'm like, done.
14:46We're buying the house.
14:47But just very unusual.
14:48Needs to be updated for safety reasons.
14:51And it's just all around ugly.
14:57Rocky Mountains.
15:00Pretty much, yeah.
15:01Yeah.
15:01All these rocks were from the property.
15:03Really?
15:04Yeah.
15:04This seems like a lot of work went into it.
15:09Mm-hmm.
15:09What's on this level?
15:10Because it seems like it's a very small space.
15:14So I see a closet.
15:17The closet, we can go through that way.
15:21Oh, okay.
15:26It is not a closet.
15:28Just closet doors.
15:33I thought it was a closet.
15:35I mean, there's clothes here, so.
15:38Okay.
15:40So this is our son's room right now.
15:42Oh, boy.
15:43Mm-hmm.
15:44Oh, boy.
15:44Oh, boy.
15:45Yeah.
15:46What's going on?
15:47Yeah, we started doing some renovations.
15:49Our daughter was getting married.
15:51Uh-huh.
15:51And after that, we came to a.
15:53A stop.
15:53A stop.
15:54The wedding took that cash.
15:55Yeah.
15:56Yeah.
15:56And that was it.
15:58Okay, what are we going to see next?
15:59The bathroom.
16:00Oh, my God.
16:02It's a saloon door.
16:04It is a saloon door.
16:06Yes.
16:06What are the steps for?
16:15We don't know.
16:16We're not quite sure.
16:17Mike said the carpet was just when you get out, you just kind of roll around on it.
16:20You kind of dry yourself off.
16:22I would be scared to death to use this bathroom.
16:28I got to get out of here.
16:29Where's our next room?
16:31We're going to head upstairs.
16:32Okay.
16:32Our kitchen.
16:38What year is this piece from?
16:421920s, I think.
16:45Behind you, you'll notice a lot of light switches.
16:49And then we have a built-in toaster over there in the wall.
16:55Does it work?
16:56We've not used it.
16:58I feel like I'll hit a button and it'll go.
16:59Yeah.
17:00And then all the lights will go off.
17:06Were these planters?
17:09It was a hydroponic room.
17:11Oh.
17:12So we have a lot of water going through.
17:16We have, you know, six or seven thermostats just in this room alone.
17:21Those switches are so low.
17:24We asked the owner when we first came.
17:26He's like, what do these do?
17:28And he's like, I don't know anymore.
17:29He wasn't sure.
17:31Light switches and thermostats.
17:33Oh, my.
17:34Which one controls the madness?
17:38Okay.
17:39Yeah.
17:40Next level?
17:41Bedroom.
17:41What in God's name is this pit?
17:52Well, it used to be a hot tub.
17:54I can see the line where they filled it.
17:57Mm-hmm.
17:57Don't get too close.
17:58No.
17:59Sorry.
17:59I don't know if you've seen the show.
18:00I'm scared of that.
18:02Yeah.
18:02They said the kids used to jump off of this and, like, cannonball into it.
18:07No.
18:08Hard no.
18:08You want to see the bathroom?
18:10I do.
18:12Glass door.
18:13That's not private.
18:18You guys, this is crazy.
18:23How old was the owner?
18:24Probably in his 80s.
18:26Where was he being?
18:27Oh, my God.
18:28And that's...
18:29That's...
18:29Oh, my God.
18:30Are you getting his feet?
18:32What is happening?
18:36That was Matt with the camera.
18:38I'm stressed.
18:44All right.
18:44I'm going to bid thee farewell and hope I don't slip through the cracks all the way out.
18:49Yes, yes.
18:49Hold on tight.
18:50Thank you for coming.
18:50Thanks for coming.
18:51I will.
18:51Thank you for coming.
18:56Rocky, mountain, light switches, parents.
19:00It looks like the builder had a death wish.
19:03My heart is actually still racing.
19:05You know what's awkward?
19:061,500 light switches and thermostats to nothing.
19:11I guess I was surprised by how dangerous it is to claim oneself in this house.
19:18The Great Plains is taking great pains to give us the ugly.
19:23I came to the Great Plains expecting to find great ugly, and these three contenders blew me away.
19:32But which house is ugly enough to move on to the finals?
19:35Great Plains region, your beauty stretches to the horizon, but your ugly hides in plain sight.
19:48And while all three contenders were ugly enough to make you run for the hills, when the dust settles, only one house will be left standing.
19:56I would not survive this house.
20:01It's between an off-the-grid, multi-carpeted mishmash.
20:05This place is mayhem.
20:08A tetanus-prone metal monstrosity.
20:11No.
20:12Those stairs are a no.
20:15And a home where it's impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel because you don't know which switch to use.
20:21Which one controls the madness?
20:25Here we are again.
20:26On the road.
20:28And I get to tell some lucky homeowner that they have the ugliest house in their region.
20:33So here we go.
20:43Brie!
20:44Brie!
20:44How are you?
20:45I'm okay.
20:47I just wanted to let you know that you have the ugliest house in the Great Plains region.
20:52How do you feel?
20:54Me too!
20:54Oh my gosh.
20:55I'm thrilled.
20:56Wishing you luck, my friend.
20:59No problem.
20:59Bye, hon.
21:00Bye.
21:01Congratulations, Mirrored Mayhem.
21:04You were a quirky castle that felt like a fun house without the fun.
21:08But being crowned the ugliest house in America will be no easy feat because the quest into unexplored regions of ugly is just getting started and there's no telling what I'll see next.
21:21Coming up.
21:22There's glitter.
21:23There's glitter.
21:24Every surface.
21:25I'm afraid to touch anything because glitter's for life.
21:26What is that?
21:27Well, it's a great soaker tub.
21:29I feel like you're looking for trouble.
21:31The table weighs a literal ton.
21:32It's embedded in the floor.
21:33I'm so angry right now.
21:36I'm so angry right now.
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