Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 12
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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TVTranscript
00:00You dick!
00:01Hey!
00:02Mwah!
00:03You frightened!
00:04Well aye!
00:05You've got to celebrate, haven't you?
00:07Huh?
00:08Fifty years!
00:09I was going to say you've covered the bloody dog!
00:15Her flabbers have been gassed.
00:19You want some of this?
00:21Oh, that is!
00:22Look out!
00:23Oh, no!
00:24See?
00:25Oh, now there's a controversial statement.
00:27The gravy.
00:28Oh!
00:30Yeah!
00:31Do you like this music?
00:32No, not particularly.
00:33So suck on that!
00:35Oh, wow!
00:36He's been a bad boy!
00:38Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:40Not a chance, do you?
00:41Oh!
00:42Yes, look at that!
00:43He's had an absolute feast!
00:45Whoa!
00:47For a banana!
00:49This is insane!
00:51Well, thank God that's over, I've got a headache run.
00:53It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
00:56That's very modern, isn't it?
00:59Now, if you know, I saw that coming.
01:00No!
01:01In the week Scotland made it through to the World Cup Finals for the first time since 1998,
01:07we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:11It was Bush Tucker business as usual on ITB.
01:14Oh!
01:15Oh!
01:16Oh!
01:17Oh!
01:18Oh!
01:19Oh!
01:20Oh!
01:21Martin Kemp's kids are in the flipping travelling round the world.
01:25Yeah, not bad, eh?
01:26Eh?
01:27Shirley's having a lovely time on her own, isn't she?
01:29Oh, gosh.
01:30To be Shirley.
01:31Lovely.
01:32Well?
01:33The countryside cape has continued on Emmerdale.
01:40It is always quite interesting living in the country.
01:43I don't know if you saw the lady in the van earlier that had a cage with birds inside.
01:48Yes, I pointed her out to you.
01:49I think they were budgery gars.
01:51Aren't they just called budgies?
01:52No, they're called budgery gars.
01:54In what world?
01:55That's the long name for them.
01:56That's the real name.
01:57Budgie's just a shorter version.
01:59No one's called them a budgery gars since 1962.
02:02That's when I was born.
02:03I know.
02:05And Sarah Snoop was looking stressed on Sky Atlantic.
02:09I don't know where my son is.
02:15You like the word fault.
02:16I like the word fault.
02:17Don't you, babe?
02:18Because that would immediately, if there's any blame to be apportioned, you'd be straight
02:22onto that, wouldn't you?
02:23Yes.
02:24Because you like to blame, apportion blame within this family.
02:28Mm.
02:31Remember when I said I wanted to have a tattoo on my forehead?
02:34Saying, yes, I'm sorry.
02:35Yes, it's my fault.
02:36Ha, ha, ha.
02:45Stop laughing at me.
02:52Will you stop it?
02:53I can't help it.
02:54I'm sorry.
02:55Best friends Jenny and Lee.
02:57Oh, God.
02:58My ribs hurt.
02:59My ribs hurt.
03:00Well, stop taking the piss out of me, then.
03:03I can't stop.
03:06Oh, I'm worn out.
03:07I'm worn out.
03:08I'm worn out.
03:09Oh, God.
03:10Oh.
03:11Oh.
03:12Oh.
03:13Oh.
03:14Oh, thanks.
03:15Oh, God, Lee.
03:16I can't say it out anything anymore.
03:17Shut up.
03:18Hit me.
03:19On Sunday night, the jungle drums sounded once again for the return of this on ITV.
03:29I'm meandering.
03:30You're a what?
03:31I'm meandering.
03:32Oh.
03:33I'm meandering.
03:34I'm a celeb has been on for so long now.
03:35Yeah, I think it's 25 years.
03:36Like nine eighths of your life.
03:37Nine eighths?
03:38Oh, no, that's wrong, isn't it?
03:39It'd be like eight ninths or something like that.
03:40That doesn't sound right either.
03:41It probably doesn't, but it's a lot.
03:42It's a lot.
03:43It's a lot.
03:44It's a lot.
03:45I'm meandering.
03:46I'm a celeb has been on for so long now.
03:48Yeah, I think it's 25 years.
03:49Like nine eighths of your life.
03:50Nine eighths?
03:51Oh, no, that's wrong, isn't it?
03:52It'd be like eight ninths or something like that.
03:53That doesn't sound right either.
03:54It probably doesn't, but it's a lot.
03:55It's a lot.
03:56The time for talking is over.
03:57It's back.
03:58Back on the bridge, Julia, yeah.
03:59It can only be the return of I'm a Celebrity.
04:01Oh, here you go.
04:02Are you ready?
04:03They're going to say it.
04:04Kevin and the bris!
04:05Wow!
04:06Ruby Wax, oh!
04:07Oh!
04:08Jack Osborne, flippin' heck.
04:09We like Jack, Mary.
04:10Remember there's a series called The Osborne's?
04:12Yes, funnily enough, it's on, at the moment, in the television.
04:14It's a lot of fun.
04:15No talking is over.
04:16It's back.
04:17It's back.
04:18Back on the bris, Julia, yeah.
04:19It can only be the return of I'm a Celebrity.
04:20Oh, here you go, you're ready, they're going to say it.
04:21BRIDLEY CALLES READY CALLES
04:22RUPY WAX!
04:23Wow!
04:24RUPY WAX!
04:25Oh!
04:26Oh, Jack Osborne, flipping heck.
04:27We like Jack, Mary.
04:28Remember there's a series called The Osborne's?
04:34If you switch it on, the Osborns just come on on repeat.
04:40I've just put my hand down the side of your sofa
04:42and grabbed something mysterious.
04:45What is it?
04:47What is it?
04:48Someone off a bush took a frigging trial.
04:51In the episode, we saw our favourite Geordie duo rock up.
04:57Heyo!
04:58I've seen the Defender as well.
05:00Ant and Dec!
05:01All Ant and Dec will have packed for I'm a Celeb is bowling shirts and jackets.
05:06And it wasn't long before things kicked off.
05:09Rangers?
05:12Oh, this is spooky.
05:14I tell you what, they're straight out of traps, aren't they?
05:17Bring it all in.
05:18So each of you has a box.
05:20Inside the box is a getaway car key fob and green ants.
05:24Green ants?
05:25Who's are going to bite the shit out of you?
05:28Ugh!
05:29All you have to do is put your hand in the box, release the nuts, retrieve the key fob.
05:34See, now I think I could do this now I've had a tattoo.
05:37Oh, that's a piece of piss.
05:38That's not what it is. You what?
05:40But it's not a piece of piss.
05:41That's so easy.
05:43However...
05:44What?
05:45...you'll also have your head inside a box.
05:47Oh, no!
05:48Oh, not my face, not the face.
05:53Gee, it's terrified.
05:54What did they expect? It's not strictly come dancing, is it?
05:57No.
05:58It's not just going to be your head in that box.
06:00There could be other things in there, too.
06:02Right!
06:03I'm in the legs!
06:04Oh, cool, Cerise.
06:06Because why would I have my head in an empty box?
06:08That's pretty easy, isn't it?
06:10Oh!
06:11Oh, my God.
06:16Please tell us what it is first.
06:19Please tell us what it is first.
06:20Angry Ginge isn't angry, he's panicked.
06:22Panicked Ginge.
06:23He's anxious Ginge.
06:25Oh!
06:27No!
06:28I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it.
06:30No, no, no, no, I'd die.
06:33Three, two, one, go!
06:38There we go.
06:39Great.
06:40Anti-clockwise, anti-clockwise.
06:42One down for Jack already.
06:43That nose, Jack's got the tekkers.
06:45Jack's got it on there.
06:46Yeah, excellent finger work, Jack Osborne.
06:49Oh, I heard a wingnut drop.
06:51Which wing has it got?
06:52Oh, no, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
06:54People used to call me wingnut,
06:55because of me fucking ears,
06:56and I didn't know for years.
06:59Why didn't they call me wingnut and it's like that?
07:01Because I look like a wingnut.
07:02Yeah.
07:05What's happening here?
07:06The one with the lids again.
07:07What?
07:08What are they doing?
07:09Oh, God.
07:10Oh!
07:11Oh, the yellow one.
07:12I don't know why.
07:13That would finish me off.
07:14Oh, more snakes!
07:15Oh, cut more snakes!
07:16Oh, my God, cut my head!
07:19Another big python in each of your boxes.
07:22Oh, no, it would be funny.
07:23If I had my hair in one of them boxes,
07:24they wouldn't be able to salivise it.
07:26Padre all the hair, it would be blue.
07:29Oh, he's done it. Ginger's done it, Mary.
07:32Angry Ginger's good with his fingers, isn't he?
07:34Snakes on the bloody first one, are you all right?
07:37What?
07:38Ruby wax died.
07:39She's not.
07:40I cannot get one of these off.
07:42Ruby's flat knees!
07:45Ruby can't even see!
07:47Is she dawning?
07:48Is Ruby still awake?
07:49Is she all right, though?
07:50Is she all right, though?
07:51Seriously?
07:52Look at the glasses, I'm not saying that.
07:54Yeah!
07:55Oh, you know what, Ruby?
07:56Just have a nappy in there, love.
07:57Ruby's like...
07:58Give her a duvet.
07:59Some Horlicks.
08:00What was that thing that you get where you fall asleep?
08:03Necrophil...
08:04No!
08:06It's not necrophil...
08:08Ne...
08:09Ne...
08:10Ne...
08:11Ne...
08:12Necrophilia.
08:13Necrophilia.
08:14In Suri...
08:19I like this top on you, by the way.
08:21Beautiful.
08:22You do?
08:23Yeah.
08:24I think I look sophisticated.
08:25Sarah, her husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
08:29It's very nice, though.
08:30It suits you.
08:31Colour looks nice on you, you know, coming into winter.
08:34Dad, I'm not babysitting.
08:36Why?
08:37The only reason you're doing that is because you want something,
08:39and it's probably to babysit.
08:40Trying to sweet you up, innit?
08:42Oh!
08:43That didn't work, did it?
08:45No!
08:46This week, high drama continued in the Dales on ITV.
08:50It's riddled with Emmerdale casting lead city centre.
08:53Running wick.
08:54Running wick.
08:55Do we have to watch Emmerdale?
08:56Yeah, we do.
08:57Really?
08:58Yeah, it's real intensely, I'm telling you now.
09:00What, Emmerdale?
09:01Yeah.
09:06This love triangle has got me absolutely great.
09:12How are you feeling?
09:15Not great.
09:16Dressing gown, someone's stayed the night.
09:18Dirty bugger.
09:21Still worrying about Kev.
09:23Yeah.
09:24So, Robert and Aaron are back together.
09:25Right, okay.
09:26Robert's dumped Kev.
09:27Robert got married to Kev in prison.
09:29Yeah.
09:30But he thinks he's dying.
09:31Kevin's told him he's only got so much time left.
09:34Oh!
09:35Ooh!
09:36But he hadn't.
09:37I mean, once he gets used to the idea that you two aren't together anymore, he'll move
09:40on.
09:41He has to.
09:42Yeah, I'll leave that on the seat.
09:43Will he move on though again?
09:44Yeah, he will.
09:45Always a nasty piece of work.
09:46Is he?
09:47You wouldn't want to cross him.
09:48Oh, Kev might want to hang around and see if he can get Robert back.
09:51You reckon he thinks of his persistent?
09:53Maybe.
09:57Do you think he's alright?
09:58I'm going to go with no on that one.
10:02Kev looks stressed.
10:03Yeah.
10:05Morning.
10:06That's Dr Liam, so he knows the truth about Kev's medical condition.
10:11How are things?
10:12Very bad.
10:16Robert ended it yesterday.
10:17Oh, God.
10:19Is he just feeling sorry for himself?
10:20Yeah.
10:21You're not dying.
10:22He's dying of a broken heart.
10:23Oh, please.
10:25I need to get him back.
10:28I can't die alone.
10:30Oh, for heaven's sakes.
10:32That's a little bit dramatic.
10:34He's being beyond mopey here, is Kev.
10:36Yeah, yeah.
10:37But he's not dying, so why do you keep saying,
10:39I don't want to die alone?
10:40Yeah, but...
10:43You're not actually dying.
10:45No, I've just said that, Liam.
10:48I wonder if I could invent a medical condition
10:50to get Nat to pop the question.
10:52I need a ring, aren't you?
10:54Yeah.
10:55Do you remember?
10:56Oh, yeah.
10:57Oh, yeah.
10:58Oh, yeah.
10:59Forgot I want dying.
11:00Oh, yeah.
11:01Do you know what?
11:02Bloody hell.
11:03Forgot about that.
11:04Believing his own lies.
11:05You all right, lads?
11:06No, Matty!
11:07Did you want a drink?
11:08The next day, there was a big turnout as a karaoke-themed housewarming in the village.
11:13I want a...
11:14I want a...
11:15I want a...
11:16I want a...
11:17I want a...
11:18Oh, look who's in.
11:20Did you see that mob?
11:21It's like, I'm here.
11:22Yeah, baby.
11:23Now it's gonna pop off.
11:24Here we go.
11:25Come on.
11:26The rooms went quiet.
11:31He's the mood hoover.
11:32It is rubbish if you're at a party and your ex turns up, isn't it?
11:35But let's face it, not surprising in a small village that they would all be there.
11:39They would all be there.
11:40I love an awkward little situation like this.
11:46Oh.
11:47What's that?
11:48What's that?
11:49Oh, God.
11:50What's he doing?
11:51If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad?
11:56What the fuck are you wrong?
11:58Oh, shit.
11:59If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours?
12:04Oh, wow.
12:06He's singing, Kev.
12:08Daniel Beringfield.
12:10This is Auntie Jane and Uncle Kevin's song that they put on when they get pissed and cry, too.
12:14Yeah.
12:15If you are not mine, then why does your heart return?
12:21My call, oh, oh, oh, oh.
12:24No wonder he's packed him in.
12:26If there were any chance of Rob and Kev getting back together, Kev's just absolutely fucked it now.
12:31Well, I hope you are the one that I share my life with.
12:38Oh, God.
12:39This is so awkward for everyone in the world right now.
12:42Oh, I can't bear it.
12:44Come on, Jake.
12:46If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am staring at you?
12:54Why is no-one grabbing him and going...
12:57What they should do is turn the mains off, Nati, the mains switch.
13:01Pretend there's been a power cut.
13:03Yeah.
13:04Because power cuts are happening everywhere.
13:05Please just tell me about Robert.
13:08This doesn't make any sense.
13:10Oh.
13:11Well, that went well, didn't it?
13:13Yeah.
13:14That...
13:15It went like a lead balloon, Nat.
13:17Yeah.
13:18Unbelievable.
13:19That was really awful television, wasn't it?
13:21I don't think we're going to see anything as emotionally draining as that this year, Jane.
13:26What did you...
13:27That was special, wasn't it?
13:31Breaks your heart.
13:32In Blackpool.
13:41I've got the glass over it.
13:43Oh, God.
13:44Right, I've got an envelope.
13:46It's a big bugger, this, Soph.
13:48It's actually got fangs.
13:50Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
13:52Right, you lift the glass, I'll get the envelope underneath it.
13:55I think he...
13:56Whoa!
13:57Fuck me!
13:58Will you shut up?
13:59Right.
14:00Slightly lift the glass.
14:03Slightly.
14:04Go on.
14:05Slide it under.
14:06Gently does it.
14:07Gently does it.
14:08Right, you'll have to lift it more.
14:09Well, slide it under, then.
14:10I'm trying.
14:11Go on.
14:12Watch its legs.
14:15Watch its legs.
14:16Oh!
14:17Stop it!
14:18On Saturday night, punters were pointing out pictures for prizes on BBC One.
14:25This programme doesn't slam, Soph.
14:27It slaps, as the young'uns say nowadays.
14:29Right in the face.
14:30Wicked.
14:31Hello, and welcome to a brand new series of Picture Slam.
14:32Woo!
14:33Every quiz show has to have a nice cheesy entrance, isn't it?
14:34Oh, yeah.
14:35We love a cheesy entrance.
14:36So, it's literally like catchphrase, just say what you see.
14:37Yeah.
14:38Yeah.
14:39Yeah.
14:40Simple.
14:41Like, green tracksuit.
14:42Grandma's curtains.
14:43Grandma's curtains.
14:44You're an idiot.
14:45Let's have a look at tonight's categories.
14:46Oh, let's do it.
14:47Theatre, woodworking.
14:48Holes.
14:49Holes.
14:50Holes.
14:51I won't be good at this.
14:52Assholes.
14:53Plug holes.
14:54Holes.
14:55Man holes.
14:56No.
14:57No.
14:58No.
14:59No.
15:00No.
15:01No.
15:02No.
15:03No.
15:04No.
15:05No.
15:06No.
15:07No.
15:08No.
15:09No.
15:10No.
15:11No.
15:12No.
15:13No.
15:14No.
15:15No.
15:16No.
15:17No.
15:18No.
15:19No.
15:20No.
15:21No.
15:22No.
15:23No.
15:24let's have a look at your picture board right God how do you even connect holes
15:30or anything who is this character oh the bloody hell's that yeah folks
15:36McCavity correct McCavity McCavity I'm a cavity from cats the musical what
15:46coach is this or trench right now me fashion me trench coat range a trench I'm
15:54doing a few trenches we have a trench coat correct we're talking about holes not
16:00caught trenches a hole in the floor what film is this I've got it I've got it I've
16:06got it it's um is it black beauty no it's not black beauty that's all is it my
16:10black black hole black beauty it could be sleep hollow I'm not getting any of these
16:15sleepy hollow correct oh that's clever I was gonna say only fools and horses what
16:21TV series is this oh another foot in the grave grave being the hole
16:27one foot in the grave number one please number one what brand is this well
16:34woman's well God well woman correct well woman as you like dug a well it that's
16:40clever Mary would you have got that well that's disgusting why holes it's in the
16:46category holes well woman well it's to do with bottoms women's front bottom is it
16:53yes how do you know it's all because well woman clinics are to do with coils and
16:58stuff like that I didn't know that yeah in the cops walls look what I found darling you were so rude
17:08when my mother said we had to take one of those for Perkins Andrew and his husband Alfie I mean it
17:14does look like it's from the 1920s but as we haven't got any firewood I think that this is just going
17:19to be needed in here because it's freezing dark the heating's on full I know but it's so cold it's
17:24so cold I need I need this it does so you laughed about it from mom having it for Perkins and giving
17:29it from Perkins to stay warm but for you it's totally fine I mean it's so I'm gonna take a picture
17:35and send it to my mother I'm sure she'll be chaffed it's getting some use I am I'm taking a picture of
17:39it and I'm sending it to my mother it's just the first thing that I don't look you do actually like
17:44the heater this week the world's most menacing children's games were back on Netflix Steve
17:51squid games on if you had your blood pressure tablets today oh yeah you've had them well
17:55when I watch this I take two what would you spend the money on if you won 4.56 million a decent haircut
18:01coming from you boy I'm growing this out what that tea cozy
18:06right go on oh my god that was really good oh this looks sick oh my god oh dwindling numbers now
18:29I've noticed it looks like there's slides slides and ladders oh slides and ladders welcome to your
18:37fifth game I'm getting anxious already are you oh teams of two will take turns as they attempt to
18:42make it to the final square and pass the game right that sounds all right done it quite easy that
18:48slides take you down the board oh that's so fun oh result in your elimination oh that is brutal
19:00I'd be trying to stop myself in the middle of this like climbing back up yeah oh come on boy
19:07oh don't be doing that they've been practicing that haven't they as the game got going it wasn't
19:12long until the yellow team landed on a twist card oh oh there we go see what they gotta do send a
19:21team to the next unused slide oh wow oh they must take a slide each oh no so one of them gets
19:32eliminated oh no they haven't even started this is where you want to be adding in it say oh yeah
19:38I'm not even in it yeah and we're going with the red team oh my god one of the red teams going home
19:44he was so confident they're not gonna pick them see this is why you can't even trust your own people
19:49I just want to take right if you don't care yeah take right I was gonna take left anyway all right
19:53are they gonna have to just guess which slide is which now yeah I think so oh wow I'd go right
19:59I'd go left because I'm left-handed yeah sorry guys I'm sorry don't say sorry ladies it's not
20:05why there's a crocodile at the bottom there might be all right Stephen oh here we go which one
20:15whee
20:18where do they fall and he was never seen again
20:29oh are they all disappointed they all went oh I once friction burned my elbows carrying two kids
20:40down one of them tunnel slides oh gosh after a few more rolls of the dice the remaining red player
20:46Stephen found himself on a twist card send a team to any ladder or any unused slide oh bye bye
20:57hey back is coming quick that sento he's gonna send them to winning gonna send the two girls yeah
21:03and a new slide anything is that because wrong yeah it's gonna pick you
21:10oh no he's rubbing his eyes payback time I'm gonna take yellow down to 22 one of them's gone good
21:20oh they are giving him daggers but they knew that was coming didn't they totally yeah
21:31yeah let's try not they take your teammate out yeah that's a good choice I love how they're going yeah
21:37yeah yeah pick yellow yeah get the yellows out well yeah you're gonna watch your own back okay yeah
21:42that's very justified justified I hope one of them disappears oh he's so nasty this is where you could have made a good deed and help somebody in the end but you decided to be petty yeah you could have made so yeah
21:54no no it's not love he's getting rid of you at least the boys took it better she is very salty about it you started this we didn't start it this is a game okay you picked me I picked you it's not a big deal it's fine
22:08I'm hearing too much of this and not enough sliding yeah oh is she coming back is she coming back never seen someone come down a slide with so much anxiety in my life
22:22no where's she gonna land oh what do you reckon oh the cat look no
22:30no
22:32oh
22:34where is she
22:36no
22:38oh no
22:40eye for an eye
22:41and apparently in real life there's spikes at the bottom
22:44is it yeah yeah yeah yeah it's quite cruel
22:46she didn't come back
22:48she didn't come back
22:50Stephen is so far I'm telling you
22:52she didn't come back
22:54there's too many Americans on that part where have all the sensible people gone
22:58oh
23:00you know what that says it the world
23:02yeah when it comes down to it all the sensible people will be gone and it'll be all the Americans left all there
23:08yeah being silly
23:10yeah yeah
23:12in Leeds
23:18guess what
23:20what
23:22i've been for my bowie doing this morning
23:24and i haven't told mum or nat that that's what i were doing
23:26sisters ellie and easy
23:28and i said mum
23:30i've got an appointment for a facial
23:32at 10 30
23:34can you look after Ezra
23:36well i were gonna go swimming
23:38you're gonna have to cancel your facial
23:40and i says i can't cancel it i've already paid for it
23:42lie
23:44lie number one
23:46no lie number two
23:48lie number one is the fact that it's a facial
23:50lie number two is the fact you've already paid for it
23:52i'm ringing mam now i'm gratin i'm telling her
23:54i'm gonna tell her
23:56she would not have babysat Ezra
23:58if it was for you to go get botox
24:02she wouldn't have done
24:04on thursday night famous faces were running around with backpacks again on bbc one
24:08i remember that i think you and we were together once and you we you stopped someone to ask for directions when you were driving
24:14and they gave you all these directions and then you said to me right did you get that i said no i thought you were listening
24:20why do we not have that competitive streak why are we not asked about winning stuff
24:28because you've always been shit at everything so
24:32and you're a lazy bitch
24:34marking the halfway point for the race
24:38valley de angeles
24:40honduras
24:42isn't honduras insanely dangerous
24:44insanely dangerous i wouldn't be going
24:46absolutely not
24:48supermarkets from honduras
24:50oh
24:52molly and tyler are planning to cross into honduras at the el amatio border
24:56via the transport hub of san miguel
24:58okay that looks like a trek though
25:00san miguel mam likes san miguel
25:02oh she does
25:04san miguelito
25:06is that the same san miguelito
25:08it's so
25:10close today
25:12do we know for definite
25:14that san miguelito is san miguel
25:16i don't
25:18oh well then brilliant
25:20i would have thought it's the same place
25:22it's something you want to double check though innit
25:24this could be
25:26is this san miguel
25:28this bus san miguel
25:30the trick is check once you're on the bus
25:32yeah halfway there
25:34oh another bus
25:36it's not going
25:38oh no another bus we're on the wrong bloody bus
25:40that's called moving quick
25:42we're on the wrong bus
25:44it's a nightmare abroad though
25:46yeah
25:48you just potluck
25:50i know you get on and trust some man to get you to where you need to be
25:52yeah
25:54come on to the border
25:56oh this is the san miguel bus that's all right then
25:58oh
26:00crisis averted
26:02we could do this
26:04first place
26:05what
26:06oh you're still in and jackie
26:08overconfident if you ask me
26:10he's just enjoying his holidays
26:12why's he stopped
26:16what's up now
26:18one dollar
26:19oh my god no
26:20what
26:21it's dylan and jackie
26:22we're gonna get on the same bus
26:24oh no
26:26ha ha ha
26:28ha ha ha
26:29what are you doing here
26:30oh my god
26:31we're all on the same bus again
26:32looks like they're going on a fucking outing together
26:34a court strip
26:36the valley of angels
26:38here we go valley de angeles
26:40so this is it this is where they have to get to isn't it
26:42so now they've got to get running
26:44because everybody's there at the same time
26:46on foot follow the road
26:48take the first right past the villas lena
26:50continue into the town
26:52and locate the bandstand in the main square
26:54this is now all about
26:56who can follow instructions
26:57there's the bandstand there
26:59yeah go go go
27:00bandstand
27:01your checkpoint hotel
27:02la casona
27:03is 200 meters south
27:05come on
27:06they want to find the hotel now
27:07hotel la cason
27:08si
27:09ah gracias
27:10vamos
27:11i think it's anyone's race now
27:14well it is isn't it
27:15it's so close
27:16it's so tight
27:17yeah
27:19let's go
27:20go on
27:21let's go
27:22bolly's off
27:23quick
27:24hola
27:25hotel casona
27:26si
27:27hi hi
27:28i see
27:29yes dylan a jacket come on
27:30oh gracias gracias
27:31oh dear that's not the right place is it
27:34this is a restaurant i thought it was a hotel they were looking for
27:38oh
27:39is this hotel casona
27:40no
27:41no oh no
27:42no
27:43no
27:44it's the wrong one
27:45they want to sign them for an evening meal them two
27:47oh jesus
27:48gracias
27:49oh
27:51oh
27:52they're going opposite directions though they're all going opposite directions there's chaos
27:57yes
27:58we made it
27:59we made it
28:00are they there
28:02are they there
28:03is this the right hotel
28:04come on
28:05please
28:06ha ha
28:07yeah it is
28:08oh we're here
28:09hi
28:10are they fast are they fast are they fast
28:11let's go
28:12congratulations
28:13you have successfully reached your third checkpoint please sign in over leave
28:18i love you
28:19i love you too
28:20okay
28:21oh
28:22turn the page then
28:23give it a go
28:24oh
28:26oh
28:27they're first
28:28yes
28:29well done
28:30i've got no idea how they've got there first
28:33no i don't
28:34i'm pleased for molly and tyler because they were lovely it slightly irritates me that they're
28:39full of energy after racing around and make it look effortless
28:44they get to my nerves and these young people
28:47they're young
28:48fit
28:49fit
28:50in love
28:51don't be grumpy old man
28:54no i'm very happy for them
28:58in north london
29:00i actually need some advice
29:01about what
29:02i don't know how to like tell someone bad news
29:04like especially when it comes to people's hygiene because that's been bothering me lately
29:08sisters amira and amani
29:11maybe drop hints here and there
29:12like what would you say
29:13like just be like oh yeah i do this you know like um
29:17this is my shower routine
29:18this is my routine
29:19like i follow up with mouthwash every time i brush my teeth
29:22so let's let's pretend yeah that i'm that friend that you need to have this conversation with them
29:26oh god that would kill me
29:28okay let's go so i'm in your face going
29:30yes
29:33wait so i'm like yes i have it
29:37why are you breathing
29:39this week a brand new mystery thriller was keeping us all guessing on sky atlantic
29:44do you know what i need to be thrilled
29:46yeah
29:47do you know what i mean
29:48i need a good thrilling
29:49oh come on let's watch it i hope it's good
29:51i hope it ain't one of them back to front ones where they keep going backwards
29:58i say that a lot when i'm with you
30:00everyone's dead
30:01everyone does
30:02all we know in this show is a child goes missing
30:05i love that
30:06oh no not the idea of a child going missing
30:09just the drama of it
30:10just the drama
30:11hi i'm marissa i'm here to pick up my son milo
30:16oh look there she is mary from succession
30:19hmm
30:20sarah snoop
30:21hmm
30:22i think you've got the wrong house
30:23there's no milo here
30:25what
30:26you've got the wrong house love
30:27kids not here
30:28the address is 1800 crescent hollow road
30:30if i'm not home from work when you get there my nanny will be there with the boys
30:34oh
30:35who sent you the text
30:37uh a mom from the school jenny
30:39oh dear
30:40she didn't take milo to the house
30:43jenny is taking him from school
30:45so where
30:46where
30:47should you give her a call
30:49yeah
30:50yeah
30:51get jenny on the phone
30:52where's milo
30:53do we not trust this woman in the house
30:55or is it marissa's made a mistake
31:00shit
31:01oh my god
31:02is that working
31:04i'd be in panic mode i'd start screaming
31:08come on in we'll figure it out together
31:10thank you
31:12well she's nice
31:13i'll do the same mate
31:14this is too juicy not to get involved
31:16the address is 1800 crescent hollow road if i'm not home from work when you get there my nanny will be there with the boys jenny
31:23i know she keeps saying it she keeps going off the address don't she yeah and you are at the right address but there's no milo there's no child
31:30but you know this jenny
31:31yeah
31:32yeah we met at the school social she was great
31:34she
31:35autocorrect
31:36that's why that's why the address is wrong
31:38yeah
31:39yeah
31:40yeah
31:41yeah
31:42she's kidding herself course it is
31:44yeah
31:45yeah
31:46it's either autocorrect or fat fingers it's one of the tip
31:47She said, love you, miss you, and really meant to say, fuck off, Tom.
31:50Here, let me try.
31:52We have a nanny as well, and she might have another...
31:54Got a nanny. Let's call a nanny.
31:56Must be nice.
31:57Is there any chance your nanny could have picked up your son?
32:00No, she's away for a few days, so it's...
32:02So her nanny's away as well.
32:04Who's picked up my law?
32:06She's not answering.
32:07The nanny's not answering.
32:09There's some dodgy going on here.
32:13Hello? Hello, Jenny.
32:14You don't know me, but I'm here with your friend, Marissa.
32:16Hi, this is Jenny.
32:17Yeah, is everything all right?
32:18Oh, is that Jenny?
32:21Yeah.
32:22Right, so she's got Jenny's number, who she thought Milo was with.
32:26Well, Marissa thought her son was at your house today,
32:29but there seems to be some kind of confusion on that.
32:31Oh, no, I'm working tonight.
32:32Jacob's at Sarah Larson's for a play date.
32:34So Milo isn't with you?
32:36No, he isn't.
32:38Who the fuck's been texting her, then?
32:40What the hell's going on, and where's Milo?
32:42Okay, so...
32:43No, you sent me a message.
32:44Hi, I'm Marissa.
32:45No, I'm so sorry, but I didn't...
32:47It's on my phone.
32:48I'm not crazy.
32:49It's on my phone.
32:50It's on my phone.
32:51I've got it here.
32:52Yeah, because she got a text message sent off her.
32:54So who sent the message?
32:58Who picked up my son from school?
33:00Oh, we don't know.
33:01Do you?
33:02Someone's orchestrated a fake text to say he's going to be on a play date,
33:07and now has picked up Milo for who?
33:11Oh, she's going to be on a play date.
33:13Oh, she's going to be on a play date.
33:15Oh, she's going to be on a play date.
33:16Here, please take a copy and hand it round.
33:19There we go.
33:20Two months earlier.
33:21Oh, okay.
33:23Oh, here's Jenny.
33:24Oh, two months earlier.
33:25Two months earlier.
33:26Oh, it's one of them.
33:27Oh, God.
33:29Oh, you're right.
33:31Oh, who is this woman?
33:33There's the babysitter.
33:34Who's this woman?
33:35Which one is yours?
33:37Milo, Irvine.
33:38Oh, he's a sweet one.
33:42He is.
33:44He's perfect.
33:46Oh.
33:48Looks like the nanny's had him away.
33:49Perfect.
33:50I don't know any nanny that sort of is like that, really.
33:56Oh, a bit of a creepy, lingering look as well.
34:00Yeah, creepy, lingering look, definitely.
34:02Nanny's at the top of my list now.
34:07Do you have him?
34:08Where is he?
34:09Where is he?
34:10Tell us where he is.
34:11What?
34:11We've got Anna.
34:12Oh, it's a nanny.
34:12Oh, it's a nanny.
34:13I don't have Milo.
34:14I'm not working this week.
34:16He's not in here.
34:16I'm not working this week.
34:18I told you I don't have Milo.
34:19I left my phone.
34:20I was coming to get it.
34:21We leave tomorrow morning instead.
34:23Anna hasn't got Milo.
34:24Oh, and she left her phone.
34:25That's where she went answering the phone.
34:27What happened to Milo?
34:28We don't know.
34:29Mr. and Mrs. Irvine.
34:31Oh, police now.
34:32Detective Alcaraz has spoken with Milo's teacher.
34:34He says Milo was picked up by a woman named Carrie Finch.
34:37Carrie Finch.
34:38Who the hell's Carrie Finch?
34:40Carrie Finch!
34:41Who is Carrie Finch?
34:43That's what we'd like to know.
34:46I'm Carrie, by the way.
34:48Oh!
34:48There is Carrie Finch.
34:51Anna, nice to meet you.
34:53Nice to meet you.
34:54So, who do you work for?
34:56Jenny Kaminsky.
34:57Jenny!
34:58Oh!
35:00So that's how she's been able to pretend to be Jenny.
35:03So she's Jenny's nanny.
35:04The plot thickens.
35:06Miss Garcia, you're Milo's nanny, right?
35:08Yes.
35:09Have you ever spoken with Carrie Finch?
35:11Yes.
35:12Don't lie.
35:12Um, no.
35:15Oh, why is she lying?
35:16Why are you lying, though?
35:18I, I've seen her, but we've never talked before.
35:21Why is she protecting Carrie?
35:23What if the nannies are in there together?
35:25Oh.
35:26There's something going on there.
35:28Okay, hold, hold, Peter.
35:39Hold him.
35:40Just check the number.
35:42You just check it, okay?
35:44Oh!
35:46You arse.
35:48Oh, he's blaming the wife now.
35:50Hmm.
35:51Hang on.
35:51What's the title again?
35:54Don't go there.
35:58Listen, listen, I'm...
36:01What an arsehole thing to do.
36:03Yeah.
36:04I bet he hasn't got any numbers of any of the people.
36:06He hasn't even got a bloody clue.
36:08I don't even knew he was on a play date.
36:09Exactly.
36:10Right, that's it.
36:11Ezra's not getting looked after by anyone else apart from me from now on.
36:15Isn't he going to Primrose Valley this weekend with man?
36:19After this weekend.
36:20In Blackpool...
36:30After you got engaged the other day, Jimmy was going, I'm married.
36:33Pete and his little sister Sophie.
36:36Anyway, we got talking about, you know, how, like, me and Paige are married and, you know,
36:40Auntie Soap and Uncle Ben are engaged.
36:41And Jimmy said that he's married...
36:43To who?
36:44Colin.
36:45Aww.
36:46And I said to him, well, you could have picked a bit better, he's a bit of a dog.
36:49Went straight over his head.
36:51This week, the fancy world of I.N. dining was on the menu on Apple TV.
36:57See, this is all about gaining a Michelin star and I'm a bit done with Michelin stars.
37:03Oh, have you?
37:03Yeah, I think I am done with them.
37:05Are you Michelin star mixed out, are you?
37:07I am, yeah.
37:09I want a proper meal on a plate.
37:11What would you rather, Michelin star or Toby Calvary?
37:16Toby.
37:23God!
37:25How could you take you to a Michelin star restaurant swigging like that?
37:29I've actually dined at one and five star rated food hygiene places.
37:35Well, that is the northern Michelin star.
37:37That is the northern Michelin star.
37:39On the southeast coast of Ireland, Chef Tony Parkin won't settle for anything less than two.
37:46Oh, so he's already got one.
37:48It's more difficult to keep the Michelin star than actually gain one.
37:52Because they're always looking to knock you off.
37:55Your pet just stole.
37:56Yeah.
37:56Most of the team, like 22-year-old Sean, have barely worked in a professional kitchen.
38:01Oh, God.
38:02Oh, it's a young buck.
38:03Everyone's got to start somewhere.
38:04Yep, that's true.
38:05And chefing is a fucking hard industry, so let's give them their credit.
38:08It is a really good opportunity.
38:10Do you know what I mean?
38:11It's like going to train with Man City.
38:14Do you know what I mean?
38:15There's no doubt that trying to win two stars with rookie chefs is a tall order.
38:20As long as they show up on time and they're not slackers of agonackers.
38:23Ringing in sick.
38:24Exactly.
38:24Do you think you could take the pressure of a kitchen?
38:27I, as a pot wash, yes.
38:29Yeah.
38:30Not anything to do with the cooking.
38:31I'll operate the dishwasher.
38:33No, you can't.
38:33Could you?
38:34I'm not sure you could.
38:34I don't think you could.
38:35For tonight's service, Dylan and Sean have a vital job of plating Tony's twist on haddock chowder.
38:41It's all in the presentation.
38:43You eat with your eyes.
38:45It's like a clutch of a car, yeah?
38:47It's like a little biting point and you want to hit that point every time.
38:50Him handing someone who's never worked in the kitchen before a cream gun?
38:53It takes long to master that.
38:55I swear.
38:56It takes long.
38:57Perfect time if it's not and that's the difference, yeah?
39:0022 of them tonight, make sure they're perfect, yeah?
39:02You say, yes, chef.
39:03Now he said that to that young lad, he'll be like that with it and it'll be going all off
39:07because he's nervous.
39:12Is that downed?
39:13Is that downed?
39:14Oh, fucking hell.
39:15That's not even...
39:16No, no, no.
39:17I'm not sure that's going to go down well.
39:19So that's going up the top there.
39:20That one's not even covered.
39:21That's not covered.
39:22That's not covered.
39:22That's got shit around the sides.
39:25Yes, chef.
39:26Right.
39:27Right, so do it all again then.
39:29I'll start crying.
39:30I'll be like, why are you being so mean to me?
39:31Please stop.
39:32And if someone's food tastes salty, you know why.
39:35My tears.
39:36I guarantee after he's just told Sean that, it'll have gone in here, straight out of there.
39:44It's an absolute garbage.
39:45Absolute fucking garbage.
39:47Oh, Tony's getting a bit stressed.
39:49I mean, surely to God, you've got to give him a bit of leeway.
39:52Just get everything out there.
39:54Bring it over.
39:54I'll do it myself.
39:55Oh.
39:56Someone's tired.
39:58That's going to knock those young people's confidence big time.
40:01Well, it's a pressurised environment.
40:03These are Hartie's oysters.
40:05These are 14 years old.
40:07So what we're going to do with this is just carve into three.
40:09These oysters are almost as old as these guys are.
40:12That's sad.
40:13The poor oysters have lived all that time without being caught.
40:16And now these greedy millionaires are going to eat them.
40:19These have all got to be equal.
40:21Yeah?
40:22So it's pretty simple.
40:23It's hard to cut things in equal slices.
40:25How does his knife do that?
40:27Because he's got good knives that don't cover Margos.
40:33Oh, shit.
40:34I'm scared for Sean.
40:35Oh, please get this right.
40:37Sean, wake up.
40:39You've got fucking dickloads of watermelon on the second one in.
40:42Dickloads?
40:43What's a dickload?
40:43I don't know.
40:44I've got a new phrase.
40:46I'm going to have dickloads of baked beans on toast later.
40:50You need to hurry up.
40:51I said, just stick me on the pot wash.
40:53I'm sick of this.
40:54Can I not do, like, concierge or something, Tony, instead?
40:58Wait, do you do it again?
41:00Honestly, Sean, we're doing the fucking head in.
41:03Oh, God, you're doing Sean's fucking head in and all.
41:06No, I wouldn't have that.
41:08Well, the best thing to do is...
41:10I say, shove your oysters up your ass.
41:12Actually, fucking waste of time.
41:14You, go away.
41:16Gamma Sight.
41:16Oh, my God.
41:17Oh, my Dave.
41:18Oh, my God.
41:20Poor Sean.
41:20To be fair, when I go in the kitchen sometimes,
41:22when you're doing tea and they open up a cupboard,
41:24you go, what the fuck are you doing in here now?
41:26Can I see him during tea?
41:27Fuck off!
41:29Kate.
41:29Kate.
41:32In Kent.
41:34Jake, are you wearing skinny jeans?
41:36Can you come here?
41:37Sally and her sons Jake and Harry.
41:40You are slaying.
41:41Yeah?
41:44I am.
41:48No, it was intentional.
41:51It's a scog look.
41:52They're not that skinny.
41:54Slim fits the word.
41:56On Tuesday night, they were sorting out more dodgy dogs down under on Channel 5.
42:04Do you know what?
42:05Me and Paige actually say about Colin,
42:07that he's the best company that we could have.
42:09I know you two sit and cry about when he's dying.
42:11Oh, don't.
42:12Because I think he'll actually make me well up now thinking about it.
42:15Because, you know.
42:16Yeah, but he is.
42:17You do just think, like, they don't live forever, do they?
42:20You are a fucking loser.
42:22No, he's...
42:23I am welling up now because he is class.
42:26Like, he's got...
42:26Yeah.
42:27He's a good lad.
42:28Mm-hmm.
42:29Aw.
42:29He's one of me kids.
42:30He's my firstborn, like...
42:31Aw.
42:34Look at those doggies!
42:36You know what?
42:37I think we've got to get a dog again.
42:38No.
42:38No.
42:39No.
42:40No, no, no, no.
42:40We don't need to go to Australia to see dogs behaving badly.
42:43We'll just come round here.
42:45Go round your house, more like.
42:47These two are angels.
42:48Golden Retriever Goldie is the heart of this household.
42:54Oh, I love Golden Retrievers.
42:57I was named after a Golden Retriever.
42:59Who the fuck had a Golden Retriever called Abbey?
43:02Asked me mum, I don't know, but I was called after a Golden Retriever.
43:05Pin wrap.
43:07One more time.
43:08And the apple of owner Will's eye.
43:10She looks very well behaved.
43:11She's a beaut, she, isn't she?
43:13That looks a very cute little dog.
43:15Yeah, you wait.
43:16You wait, Jane.
43:16And Goldie just adores Will.
43:20Aww.
43:22What?
43:23Ah.
43:25Why are they playing that music?
43:27A lot.
43:29Oh, no!
43:34That's the issue.
43:35Oh, no.
43:37But why is he putting on with her?
43:38He's just reading a book as if nothing's happening.
43:40Well, you couldn't really concentrate on the Da Vinci code, would you?
43:43Is that what he's reading, is it?
43:46I don't know, I'm just using it as an example.
43:48She doesn't do it to my mum or dad.
43:50No one.
43:52Only him.
43:53Well, yeah, because he's fucking letting about looks of it.
43:55Well, that's it.
43:57I'm just my left leg.
43:59Never my right leg.
44:00What is it about that leg?
44:01Well, you put your left leg in, your right leg out.
44:05It's like he's leaving his leg out there to tempt her.
44:07It's so embarrassing.
44:10We can't have people at the house.
44:11Well, if he's been neutered, then it's okay.
44:13It's not okay.
44:14There's nothing okay about that, Rosalba.
44:16Do you know what I like to look at this, like?
44:18Glass half full.
44:19You know, she's not bitten anybody.
44:22Rory, get off.
44:23Rory, get off.
44:24That was Milo.
44:26Bro, if that was Milo, I'd be like, fuck off, bro.
44:29Like, even if I'm getting changed or if I'm in the bath,
44:32I, like, hide my boobs from Leo.
44:36Here's our Graham.
44:38He'll sort this out.
44:39Let's get the top bollocks in.
44:41Right, Graham.
44:41Right, Graham, can you stop this dog from shagging my legs?
44:44So she normally humps me when I lie down, especially my left leg.
44:47Your left leg?
44:48Yes, my left leg.
44:49Never your right leg?
44:49Never my right leg.
44:51Funny, huh?
44:52Have you thought about cutting your leg off, sir?
44:54I think you've been a bit too nice.
44:56Too nice, yeah.
44:59Graham's already decided who's the culprit.
45:01Yeah, I think he has.
45:02To make it crystal clear enough is enough...
45:05Oh, there we go.
45:06...every time Goldie tries it on, she'll be told.
45:09It doesn't take a genius to know that. I'm sorry.
45:12I was going to say, I don't think Graham needs to even be here.
45:14Enough.
45:15Enough.
45:17But will it be enough?
45:18Can you be more assertive with your voice, please, Will?
45:20Put some beats in your voice, son.
45:23Enough.
45:24He's being quite soft enough.
45:26If anything, he's almost flirty.
45:28Yeah.
45:28Stop it, you.
45:29Enough.
45:30Next time you say enough, it needs to be a little bit more forceful.
45:33Enough!
45:34Stop shagging my leg.
45:35He's not got to be aggressive, but he has got to be firm.
45:38OK.
45:39Like I am with you.
45:40Oh, yeah.
45:41You need to get a less attractive dog to hump him.
45:44Yeah.
45:45Yeah.
45:45That's it, you're right.
45:46Yeah, yeah.
45:47If you had, like, a bulldog.
45:48Yeah, if you had a French bulldog humping him, he'd be like, get off.
45:51Oh, yeah.
45:54Did we all disagree that Goldie's an attractive dog then?
45:57Yeah.
45:57Yeah.
45:58Very quickly as well.
45:59Yeah.
45:59Picture yourself in a nice, remote Scottish holiday park where you're supposed to be getting
46:09away from it all, but the exact opposite happens.
46:12Our dark, thrilling drama, Summer Water, is available to stream now, and Samantha Morton
46:16stars in our major new stylish historical drama, France 1560 gets a 2025 makeover with
46:23the gripping story of the Serpent Queen.
46:26Stream or watch tomorrow at 5 past 10.
46:27Next, The Last Leg.
46:29The Last Leg.
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