Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 07
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00I might do a little set at your birthday party.
00:03Good evening, everybody, and welcome to your birthday party.
00:07No.
00:08There's something not right with this.
00:10I don't like the squeaks.
00:14It's just because the microphone goes near the speaker.
00:19Shit!
00:20Oh, you've shit me up there.
00:22It's because you've turned it down, you dickhead.
00:24Yeah, well, I don't want to burst me out.
00:26Save it for the party.
00:30Yes!
00:33Ooh, happy days.
00:35Oh, Daniella, I like this.
00:36He's gone and done and did it.
00:37I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:39Oh, no, no.
00:40Cryptic that in there. Convoluted that.
00:43Oh, no, no.
00:45What a waste of a muffin.
00:47Boo!
00:48What's that?
00:50Unacceptable!
00:51Yeah!
00:52What the hell?
00:54Is that it?
00:55There's not much evidence of man-boob, is Samara?
00:58It's a tough day to be a fish.
00:59Oh!
01:00Oh, no.
01:01Oh, he's a badger.
01:02He is, he's a badger.
01:03Oh, man, he's got one in and one out.
01:06It's the kind of trash I adore.
01:08Was that good for you or was it was for me?
01:11In the week Liam Gallagher became a granddad, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:18Posh Spice had got her own show on Netflix.
01:21Why do you like the Spice Girls so much?
01:23Because they're so cool and they're so fun and it's all about girl power.
01:27What actually was girl power?
01:29We don't know, boss.
01:30We're not meant to know.
01:31Yeah.
01:32It's ethereal, isn't it?
01:33Ethereal.
01:34Yeah.
01:35I think you just get empowered girls to kick guys in the nuts a bit more.
01:40I remember my time at school, I got nut shotted a lot by girls and then they just went girl power and did like that.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Leaving you in a heap, wondering whatever girl power was.
01:52Yeah.
01:53It hurt.
01:54Are you sure the sign was that and not that?
01:58It might have been that, yeah.
02:01Blue Nights was packing a punch on BBC One.
02:04I've never really had anybody close to me dying before.
02:08I did think about it for a while after that, like how someone can be there and then just not be.
02:17That's what one notices when people die, haven't you noticed that?
02:20What?
02:21One minute they're there and the next they're not.
02:25It's a bit like you when you go to London.
02:28I look at that chair and one minute you're there and the next you're in London.
02:32And Northampton's finest wrap the wheel on Channel 5.
02:36Risk, medium, currently due to speed.
02:401, 1, 5.
02:42Traffic remains light.
02:44I go into, like, lower the driver mode when I see police if they're behind me.
02:49Like, hands are ten and two, passing the wheel between both hands.
02:54Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
03:00Not eating a Greg's pasta and driving with one hand.
03:03In Manchester...
03:04I might get you another colour of these for your birthday if you're not going to come up with ideas.
03:17I am thinking about things.
03:18It's an SV248, which is an off-axis guider that I haven't got that would be nice.
03:22Right, you're getting some links.
03:23Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
03:27What was it?
03:28You're going to get an off?
03:29S Club 7 album.
03:31It's an off-axis guider.
03:33What's that?
03:35Well, you screw it...
03:36I've said something wrong here.
03:38Why did you do that?
03:39I don't know.
03:40You've enabled him.
03:41You screw it with an appropriate adapter, taking account of your backfold.
03:44Quick, shut it down, Mum.
03:45Is it something to stick on your telescope?
03:48Yes.
03:49There we go.
03:50Why didn't you just say that?
03:52He likes an opportunity.
03:53No, it doesn't explain what it is.
03:54He wants an extender for his telescope.
03:55I think most men want that.
03:57No, it means you can attach...
03:59This week, it was eyes down for the latest instalment from Brand Beckham on Netflix.
04:05Okay.
04:07So excited for this.
04:08No, no, I'm beyond excited.
04:10The thing about Victoria Beckham is that you look at her, you stare and you stare and you can't find anything wrong with her.
04:17Have you noticed that, Nutty?
04:18And she does clothing and she does makeup.
04:21Yes, yes.
04:22I've got an eyeliner.
04:23Oh, how beautiful!
04:25I think it's green.
04:26I don't know why I chose green.
04:28Victoria Beckham, the posh spice of the Spice Girls.
04:31One of the top-selling female pop groups in history.
04:34Posh were my favourite Spice Girls.
04:36She was.
04:37You always wanted to be her.
04:38Always wanted to be her.
04:39I couldn't be further from her.
04:41Exactly.
04:43She was easy on the eye, but not so easy on the ears.
04:51Fish the date, Victoria.
04:52Come on.
04:53If you actually think about it right, really, in the normal world, they'd be called Vicky and Dave, wouldn't they?
04:58Vicky and Dave.
05:01He's a plasterer.
05:02She's a nail tech.
05:03She obviously couldn't.
05:06Who's that little old man?
05:08I think you just started.
05:11This is David.
05:12I'm trying to work out a milkshake here.
05:13What?
05:14Let's look normal, David.
05:15We'll use a blender.
05:17When you don't want to listen to me, you just have.
05:20When you don't want to listen to me.
05:21What?
05:22God, I love him so much as well.
05:24Oh, grow up.
05:26He's too young for you.
05:29That's what you think.
05:31Right, I've got to get to work.
05:32Love you.
05:33OK, love you.
05:34He's got to get to work.
05:35What does he do?
05:36Is he doing the football still?
05:37Do you know what?
05:38I don't know whether I like that kitchen.
05:41It's about me.
05:42Why?
05:43Big Doc.
05:47Hi, good morning.
05:48How are you?
05:49How many people she's got working for her?
05:50Goodness me.
05:51There's loads of people in there.
05:52Wow.
05:54Did you have a good weekend?
05:55Relaxing?
05:56Did you have a good weekend, employee?
05:58Yes.
06:00Employee number 452.
06:01These aren't mine, are they?
06:02These ones are yours.
06:03Amazing.
06:04Yes, this is your studio, Victoria.
06:06I mean, is she designing these or has she got someone in to do it?
06:10She does so much that she can't remember everything.
06:13Absolutely gorgeous.
06:17So much better on the cut there.
06:18Fucking Harry Hill.
06:21It's like a dog when it's had an operation.
06:24Stop licking your stitches.
06:26Well, I see one of them in the outlet.
06:29You said it'd go nice with my boots with the pink laces.
06:33So nice.
06:34Yeah, so amazing.
06:35Zip it right up.
06:36Right up.
06:37Yay!
06:38Fantastic!
06:39The shoulder looks great.
06:40The collar's nice and strong.
06:41Oh, yeah.
06:42Absolutely stunning.
06:43Really brings out your eyes.
06:44I can see myself in a laundis with this up.
06:45Put the money in the bag.
06:46We've been married for 25 years.
06:47Is that their house?
06:48Fucking can't be.
06:49How many different kitchens have they got, for God's sake?
06:56Can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
06:57She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
06:59She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
07:00She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
07:01She can't go to the palace with just one earring.
07:02Pick that up.
07:03Do you want a whisper?
07:04Do you want a whisper?
07:05A little whisper?
07:06That's quite cute.
07:07A little whisper?
07:08A little whisper?
07:09That's quite cute.
07:10David Beckham is cracking out the dad jokes in this.
07:11I'm here for it.
07:12What is the matter?
07:13Are you going to cheer up a bit, or what?
07:14They're a bit dull, aren't they?
07:15You're being a bit dull.
07:16They're being a bit dull.
07:17I haven't touched chocolate since the 90s.
07:18It's not going to start now.
07:19Not touched chocolate since the 90s?
07:20I'm not going to start now.
07:21Not touched chocolate since the 90s?
07:22I haven't touched chocolate since the 90s.
07:23I haven't touched chocolate since 9 o'clock this morning.
07:26It's been about half an hour for me.
07:29Corgeous.
07:30You look lovely.
07:31touch chocolate since the 90s not gonna start now not such chocolates into the
07:3590s and such chocolate since 9 o'clock this morning it's been about half an
07:41hour for me gorgeous you look lovely obviously a little photo shoot before
07:47they go to the palace I've looked miserable we've got time for this story
07:50I've just miserable for all these years away we go everybody says she looks
07:54miserable you don't love I hate to say it but you don't it's because when we
07:58stand on the red carpet this guy has always gone on the left right okay now I
08:03didn't realize that when I smile which I do when when do you I smile from the
08:10left because if I smile from the right I look unwell we have the same side and we
08:15always argue and you always get the better of me and then I just have to
08:19think well I'll just have to accept that I'm gonna look a dog in this picture then
08:22you look a dog either way okay so consequently I'm smiling
08:27David is a load of bollocks I'm not listening to it I'll go get the fucking
08:32car running
08:39still don't feel like I know Victoria Beckham no I don't think Victoria Beckham
08:44knows Victoria Beckham Mike's is still on you fucking little dick in there showing me
08:49like that fucking walking off while I'm trying to say that I do smile when I
08:52don't smile fucking making me look a twat
08:56please myself yeah well when we get on tonight you're in a fucking spare room and
09:02we're playing happy families while at the palace
09:03fuck you David
09:06in Leeds what the hell is this oh so you found it then what the hell I thought he's such a wet wipe I thought what has he done
09:16sisters Ellie and Dizzy I absolutely adore and love you
09:21I absolutely adore and love you Tobes kiss kiss kiss
09:25look don't you be getting jealous just because Nat don't send you nice meaningful cards
09:32I'm gonna take a picture of this and send it to Nat Nat'll shudder I honestly think that you and Toby you've what how long have you been together a year that I think that you two have got more pictures together than me and Nat have got throughout our
09:45entire relationship
09:47on Sunday night there were more experts perusing people's treasures on BBC one
09:52when we got loads of dolls some of them might be worth some
09:55yeah
09:56that might be a thing
09:58hmm
09:59if you see them missing don't ask me no questions
10:01I tell you why I like Antiques Roadshow everyone's quite civilised on it and polite and you know there's no question there won't be gangs of swearing
10:14skinheads
10:15yeah you you obsessed with skinheads not even it they were a phenomenon of the 1970s
10:21I know but I'm frightened of them
10:22the 70s were about 40 years ago
10:24I know but there won't be yobs or hell's angels skinheads what else what other yobs are there
10:31there are
10:36really fun day out this would be wouldn't it
10:38I just collect fridge magnets and I can't see me ever being able to take them on Antiques Roadshow
10:43when you came to my table and you said you had a coin collection
10:46right up my street coins
10:48oh
10:49what kind of coins is that see I've got coins upstairs
10:51we need to go through that stash man
10:53I thought oh dear she hasn't read the blurb that we don't have a coin specialist or a stamp specialist
10:58oh
10:59I didn't know that
11:01well slap my ass and call me Jill
11:03a single coin collection can take a day to go through so we don't normally look at coins unfortunately
11:08don't you remember really when I found that dateless 20p when all them 20p's got issued wrong with no date on
11:14and I sold it for 70 quid
11:16why didn't you keep it
11:17Young wanted the money
11:18tell me what you know about your coin collection
11:20they look a bit boring
11:21yeah
11:22well I went up into the loft and I opened up this blue ice cream box and found these
11:27it's always in the loft innit
11:28it's always something in the loft
11:30you know when I go in our loft there's a Christmas tree wrapped up with a bin bag up there that's how we've got
11:34yeah
11:35she's got a coin collection
11:36I can see that there are two with Queen Victoria's head on
11:39oh wow
11:40Queen Vicky
11:41dated in the 1800s and then the rest all seem to be the sort of after Queen Victoria
11:47oh so they're from years ago
11:49George, Edward, all that
11:51well they're authentic
11:52well let's see
11:53well I can tell you in two sweet words exactly what this is
11:57fuck all
11:59thank you for your time
12:01this is gold bullion
12:03gold bullion
12:05that's what gold is
12:06as if she's found gold bullion in her loft
12:08she is quid in
12:11oh she's got a good I'm shocked face hasn't she
12:15these are gold sovereigns
12:16you've got 21 gold sovereigns and two half sovereigns
12:20oh my goodness they're worth a fortune
12:22the sovereigns have got four sovereigns upstairs
12:26in theory they are legal tender you could spend it
12:29sick of in a coin star machine
12:31yeah
12:32now something that's important is the dating on them because some of the earlier ones can fetch more for their collectible value
12:38so come on
12:39for crosshike how much is it worth?
12:41how much?
12:42do you have any idea of their value?
12:44none
12:45absolutely none
12:46no
12:47it wasn't me I didn't put them there
12:48these a year ago were making ad auction 400 pounds each
12:53now they are 550 each
12:56wow
12:57each
12:58you see
12:59550 pounds each that's why you mustn't throw away man's things in the attic
13:04you hear that yeah
13:05so
13:06she's adding up now in her head
13:08your collection here is worth the best part of ten to fifteen thousand pounds
13:14wow
13:16fifteen thousand pound
13:18this is what antiques roadshow is all about
13:21woo
13:22you can't even say wow
13:24woo woo
13:25right
13:26her flabbers have been gasted
13:29yeah I've got coins in here but I can't find the fucking key
13:32I need to find the key
13:36Izzy
13:37guess how much
13:38that dateless 20p would have been worth
13:41now
13:42if you'd hung on to it
13:43oh
13:44I don't know
13:45500 quid
13:46how much did you get for it at time?
13:4770 quid
13:48and how long ago were that?
13:49oh
13:5015 years ago
13:51right
13:52so now
13:53they're going for
13:5410k
13:55on eBay
13:56fuck
13:57off
13:58yeah
13:59get lost
14:00that was my antiques roadshow moment
14:03and you sold it for 70 quid for fags and booze
14:05in Surrey
14:14this weekend Jane
14:15yes
14:16I was with my
14:18the dwarf sports association
14:20what are you doing?
14:22and we played botia
14:23104 players
14:24oh my god Jane
14:25I cleaned up
14:26Simon
14:28and his sister Jane
14:29Simon
14:30I got
14:31look at you
14:33what are you going to do
14:34I got
14:36were you on a roll or something?
14:38oh Jane
14:39I couldn't
14:40I think I played 20 games in all
14:41and won 19 of them
14:43there's only one in the rounds that I kind of lost a little bit
14:46were people booing you at the end?
14:48bronze for the teams
14:49that's okay
14:50what do you mean booing me?
14:51what do you mean booing me?
14:52well
14:53like
14:54it was getting boring
14:55and the winner is
14:56Simon Minty
14:57and the winner is
14:58Simon Minty
14:59were they not like
15:00you know me
15:01I'm a humble person
15:02oh god
15:03on Sunday night
15:05the Hollywood actress was doing some culinary soul searching on BBC 2
15:09I never understand people going to Spain
15:12and they want to roast dinner
15:13well
15:14they're out there Steve
15:15I went to university in Madrid for three months
15:18did you?
15:19that's a long time
15:20I mean
15:21I put on my CV
15:22I went to university in Madrid
15:23I did three month language course
15:24and I immediately said university in Madrid on my CV
15:27well you would
15:28I could
15:29I should
15:30I would
15:31I did
15:32I'm Eva Longoria
15:33oh I know her
15:34Eva Longoria
15:36I used to love desperate housewives
15:38sorry
15:39and I'm exploring Spain and its 17 regions
15:43I didn't know that
15:44I didn't know that 17 no
15:45I have been to a few places in Spain
15:47I can never remember what they call them
15:49but I know I've been there
15:51somebody says an area where
15:53what I've been there
15:54Magaluf
15:55no I don't think I've been there
15:56no
15:57you went with me
15:58oh did I
15:59oh yeah
16:00oh yeah
16:01oh look at her
16:05look at her in her jeans
16:07would you ever look like that in a pair of jeans
16:09a jeans
16:15searching for
16:16twain
16:17Spain you idiot
16:19give me a paella
16:21and some Rioja
16:23and I'm a happy bunny
16:25potato buffers is nice
16:27hola
16:29hola
16:30hola
16:31you alright
16:32Javi Estevez opened La Tasqueria with a mission
16:35what is that
16:36to transform one of Madrid's oldest culinary traditions into high-end cuisine
16:41right
16:42see anything made with tweezers you just know you're gonna leave and want a cheeseburger afterwards
16:47that's true
16:49I heard Madrid don't have a beach or nothing
16:52no point going
16:53Madrid has a long history of eating awful
16:56awful
16:57oh we've got a bit of awful
16:59the usually discarded parts of the animals
17:01oh
17:02yeah rather you than me Eva love
17:04they're discarded for a reason why we eating them
17:06this I'm a little nervous about what is this
17:10we are talking about testicles
17:11oh
17:12I'm out sorry
17:13this dish is the mollocks
17:15you need to try
17:18okay please
17:19sure
17:20oh
17:21oh
17:22oh
17:23can you ask the bitches for testicles
17:25because I haven't seen it laid out before
17:28when we think in this recipe something like a pizza okay
17:32she doesn't look convinced
17:33no
17:34oh
17:35a testicle pizza
17:36you have the confetti cheese
17:38and
17:39some dried tomato
17:40that's nice little pizza everything tastes nice on pizza
17:43yeah
17:44apart from pineapple
17:45yeah
17:46yeah
17:47yeah
17:48yeah
17:49yeah
17:50oh
17:51oh my god there's no turning back
17:54oh she could have at least bitten it in half
17:57Teresa
17:58I wouldn't want to straight down the hatch
18:00oh
18:02hold on hold on
18:03oh no she's still chewing
18:07mmm
18:08mmm
18:09mmm
18:10mmm
18:11mmm
18:12mmm
18:13mmm
18:14mmm
18:15mmm
18:16mmm
18:17mmm
18:18mmm
18:19mmm
18:20mmm
18:21mmm
18:22mmm
18:23mmm
18:24mmm
18:25mmm
18:26seeing Javi's artistry up close in the kitchen has been eye-opening
18:30I really don't know what to expect
18:31and in the restaurant he's taking it to another level
18:34what she got
18:35what's this no
18:37oh no no no no no no no
18:41that's what your head would look like if it had been in the deep path right
18:45the baby big head
18:46no
18:47oh I don't think I'd want that
18:48oh have you seen the film babe
18:49I think bubble's a bit worried head's gonna get fried
18:53it has the ears and everything
18:56do you knife and fork it or what
18:58surely you don't eat it like a burger
19:00oh I don't know
19:01just cut us a bit of the ear out
19:03yeah
19:04well that'll do me
19:05yeah
19:06I'm actually quite full off the bollocks
19:08I don't even know is it a fork is it a knife is it your hands
19:12that makes it less sinister putting on black gloves
19:14yeah
19:16yeah
19:17okay
19:18okay
19:19oh
19:20oh look at that
19:21oh it's making me feel sick
19:23then we open
19:24in the mouth
19:25and then you find different parts
19:26oh
19:27oh
19:28oh he's ripped it sure enough
19:30why do you like to present it this way
19:32because we want to respect the animal
19:34oh really
19:35just dissecting it in front of somebody's ripping the fucking head off
19:38oh my god
19:41oh look at the crunch on that
19:44it's like crispy crackling that
19:46best bit of pork
19:47this is truly unique and I'm so happy I got to experience it
19:51thank you thank you so much
19:52what's a blessing for me
19:53thank you
19:54I can't imagine what they're having for pudding
19:55I don't
19:56hairy pie
19:57don't ever take me to a restaurant like that
20:00no chance Julie
20:01do you know what I fancy now for watching this packet of park scratchings
20:03no one turns you off food does it
20:09sorry
20:10just ask her
20:11there is
20:12this Shay's enjoying herself right now in the sunshine
20:14shh shh shh
20:16what
20:17quiet there's no Shay
20:18oh that's so rude
20:20Sarah and her husband Andre
20:23but I'm also happy that she ain't here because she ain't tearing up the heating
20:27that's another thing
20:30Andre the house is too cold though
20:32I can't blame Shay for doing that
20:34no one ain't touching that thermostat
20:35oh come on
20:36and that's why I locked it
20:37so we gotta put on our jumpers
20:39our socks
20:40our thermal underwear
20:41everything
20:42look you got blanket
20:43just to walk around the house
20:44see this blanket
20:45put this on
20:46electric blanket too
20:47you're just stingy
20:48everyone's got an electric blanket
20:49it's coming up to Christmas
20:50don't be a Scrooge
20:51I'm gonna buy you a new electric blanket
20:54on Monday night
20:55there were more cops in cars
20:57catching criminals on Channel 5
20:59don't you remember when Janae got stopped
21:01for driving it right lane
21:02and she got a right bollock in
21:03yeah
21:04I've been scared to drive it right lane since that
21:06me too
21:07I think about that incident
21:08every time I drive in the right lane
21:10the most I go is about 45-50
21:13and that's bad enough
21:14I went down Portobello Street the other day
21:16and I got cramp in my foot
21:17I couldn't get my foot
21:18I couldn't get my foot
21:19and I went over a speed bump
21:20all my shopping all went all over
21:26it's a miracle Margaret's never been pulled by police
21:29she's the only person I know that has to open the driver door to reverse to see better
21:37let's catch some perps
21:39interceptors Sandra Payne and Chris Lark are responding to a grade one emergency
21:43oh okay let's track it
21:45we've got reports of a single vehicle RTC
21:47road traffic collision
21:49it's driven into the centre of a roundabout
21:51oh no
21:52drunk or drugs
21:53who put that roundabout there?
21:56Ray once did that when it was foggy
21:58what?
21:59you know the Opel Road where the roundabout is?
22:01it was thick fog and he ended up on the roundabout
22:03he went through two sands
22:05he was lucky
22:07the next day we went to have a look
22:09you could see his tire track
22:12eyewitnesses at the scene are speaking to the driver
22:15the male was slurring his words asking
22:17don't call the police
22:18can you give me a lift?
22:20no police today please
22:24I'm innocent but don't call the police
22:26I know we're making a joke of it and a bit of a joke
22:29but that is serious
22:30yeah it is
22:31he has a bruised forehead
22:32two bruises above each eye
22:34damn
22:35he had his top off
22:37ooh
22:38he had his top off?
22:39can you imagine driving topless?
22:41we'd get arrested just for that
22:43yeah? indecent exposure
22:45the driver has ploughed into a roundabout
22:47and embedded his car in the undergrowth
22:50holy shit look at that
22:51he's lucky he's alright
22:52look at how mashed up it is
22:54all airbags have come out
22:56the interceptor's priority is finding the driver
22:59who could have critical injuries
23:01he's gonna be easy to spot semi-naked
23:03they'll be able to recognise him
23:04because he's got a big bump on his head
23:06and no shirt on
23:07just didn't that get you out there?
23:12oh that'll be him there then?
23:13oh look is that him there Mary
23:14is it a guy with no shirt on?
23:16hello fella
23:17how are you alright?
23:18you need to stay where you are buddy
23:19he's done everything wrong
23:21everything you shouldn't do
23:23he's just done it
23:24we're a bit worried about your welfare
23:25because you've crashed your car haven't you?
23:27have I?
23:28have I?
23:29you've crashed your car haven't you?
23:30have I?
23:31i'm just out walking with dog
23:32where's your dog?
23:33off
23:35i want to make sure that you're fit and well
23:36and we need to go through a breath test procedure
23:38on the roadside
23:39and smell alcohol on your breath
23:40oh he stinks
23:41awww
23:43deep breath in
23:44and seal your lips around the tube
23:45and blow
23:46oh
23:47what's it gonna go up to?
23:48no
23:49don't block it
23:50don't block it
23:51you're not blowing into the machine
23:52he's not blowing
23:53he's not blowing
23:54he's pretending like that
23:55listen
23:56there's no breath flow going through that tube
23:58so you're blocking it with your tap
23:59no i'm trying
24:00i've got asthma so i'm trying to blow
24:02no
24:03oh shut up
24:04oh that old one
24:05that chestnut
24:06he's got asthma
24:08i can't
24:09asthma
24:10attempt
24:11five
24:12you understand the concept of blowing
24:14perhaps i've heard that phrase before
24:16yeah blow
24:17blow
24:18i would tickle him
24:19i would tickle him
24:20i would tickle him and then he would breathe out
24:22what the police officer needs to say is
24:24look we've got a rectal one that is every time successful so you either blow into this or we'll get the rectal one out and he'll blow
24:32right listen to me
24:34open your mouth
24:36seal your lips around the tube
24:37do not block the tube with your tongue
24:39and blow
24:40well done sandra
24:41god you don't get paid enough to do to do that job mate
24:44okay
24:51you're not blowing
24:53he's not blowing
24:54he's still doing it
24:55this police officer's got the patience of an absolute saint hasn't she
24:58look you shirtless shit
25:00do it properly
25:01on the ninth breathtakingly bad attempt they're calling it
25:04he's arrested for failing to provide
25:07well that serves them right
25:08well they normally do it after three not nine
25:11i'm pretty cold can i have a jumper please
25:13i'm afraid we don't carry spare jumpers
25:15we're not a wardrobe company
25:19oh don't worry yeah we've got um we've got a load of fashion up
25:22what do you fancy wearing on the way to the police station
25:25what size are you
25:26we went to zara earlier to get something
25:28oh do you remember there was a man who walked round here shirtless mary
25:32bobble hat
25:33no
25:34bareback tommy
25:35bareback tommy
25:36he walked round the village
25:38all round
25:39round about the lanes mary
25:41for years
25:44come and come rain or shine without a shirt
25:47but he did it for health reasons i think
25:49mm-hmm
25:56in the cotswolds
25:58i'm darling something that has been really really bothering me for quite a while since we've lived in this house now
26:03what are you about to say
26:04what are you about to say
26:05we uh how have we not got a full length mirror
26:07what do you mean a full length mirror who needs a full length mirror you're a man
26:10andrew and his husband alfie
26:13when people ask you the question did you look in the mirror before you left the house
26:16i'm not a girl
26:18who doesn't
26:19well not me
26:20clearly
26:21okay well people do always say to me why don't you have any full length mirrors well i've never had them because i don't use them
26:27that's maybe why my socks always never match anything else
26:30it's time to start
26:31okay
26:32it's my birthday coming up
26:33you're
26:34you want me to dress properly for your birthday
26:36i know i want a mirror
26:37then we can work on that
26:40on friday it was a common complaint that united us on bbc news
26:45these crackers have gone soft
26:47i did think they might be when you started buttering them off but i just didn't say oh
26:52do you think the news is getting better
26:54in the last few days
26:55oh it is surely
26:57i think it is getting a bit better
27:00that's what they want you to think
27:02now if you've experienced problems using a parking app you're not alone because three quarters of motorists have
27:08i'm one of them
27:09i've had enough problems with the parking app
27:11oh i love it i love it when there's stories about everyone being annoyed by the same things
27:16yes
27:17but now the rac is calling for drivers to have several options and not be forced to pay online
27:23i agree i agree
27:25the problem is with this is that nobody accepts or carries cash anymore
27:28we're in a cashless society
27:30that's insane
27:31other options are cash and no one has that
27:33the british parking association says it's working with providers to make apps easier
27:37yeah it's a right nightmare i must have about seven different parking apps
27:42i thought i was just the old man
27:44that annoyed me but i'm guessing it's the same problem for near enough everybody
27:48you've parked sometimes a challenge in itself
27:51that's true
27:52then comes the life shortening tedium of working out how to pay
27:57it is life shortening you're right
27:59it is actually life shortening
28:01look at all the information so much stuff to read
28:04the problem is right on these apps it'll have a number there like eight four two five six
28:09you put that in on the app and it goes not recognized
28:13that set up that system to fail
28:16yeah
28:17because they're robbing bastards
28:19get the cash in
28:20i tell you what at least dick turpin wore a mask
28:22do you have the right app do you really have to scan a qr code
28:26no you don't
28:27there's a scam going around where they put fake qr code stickers over the real one
28:32and it's scammers stealing your money
28:34so you stand baffled and frustrated by technology that's meant to make things easier
28:39look at this this is us
28:41margaret's buggered she has to drive home when it's a parking app
28:44yeah she can't use them can she
28:47there is some good news on the way
28:48oh
28:49good news
28:50a new initiative called the national parking platform should allow motorists to use any app in any car park
28:56yeah and i think that's a good thing
28:57that's decent
28:58glimmer of hope
28:59oh we're so grateful
29:00for some cash remains king
29:03i think cash is king
29:04it's just easy
29:05that's me look i've always got some coins in the car mary
29:09and motoring groups are urging providers to continue to offer a range of options
29:13for a range of ways to pay
29:15he can't use that either
29:17he's in his wallet as a supervisor
29:20oh he is modern technology
29:22i know i mean
29:23well i what i was buggered when they put computers in work i thought oh god here we go
29:28in leeds
29:31do you want my tinder prime i mean obviously i can't use it
29:35yes
29:36otherwise spoken for
29:37give me your prime
29:38but i get it free with my bank
29:39best friends danielle and daniella
29:42i was thinking about getting a t-shirt printed right that says
29:46call me please i beg
29:47single
29:4840
29:49in brackets
29:50can you believe it
29:51close bracket
29:52um
29:54likes dogs
29:56no kids
29:57open to kids
29:58how big is this t-shirt
30:01it's gonna have to be fucking massive innit
30:02just get t-shirt dressed
30:04and then i'll put my insta handle on the back
30:06dm me
30:07shag me
30:08or that
30:09on monday night we were back on the beat with the boys and girls of belfast on the bbc
30:19i've got to get into this lee
30:21why
30:22because i do
30:23and you've seen blue lights before
30:25yes of course i have
30:26all right
30:27can i get you a malteser sister
30:29well that would be very nice thank you
30:31have one there
30:34this is set in belfast
30:35i actually know a bloke who's irish
30:38oh really
30:39no no o'reilly
30:407-2 from uniform
30:42we have a domestic call at 18 mclean street
30:44appears to be from a child
30:46a child
30:47oh my god see
30:49triggered already
30:50listen that's the home of a police officer
30:52be aware there's a registered firearm at the address
30:55what do you say it's the home of a police officer
30:58the police officer gonna shoot somebody
30:59don't know
31:00oh do i know the young girls wanna just fucking rug up
31:03all right
31:04oh that's the same doorbell as michelle's
31:08the ring doorbell
31:09yeah
31:10hello
31:13he don't look very happy does he
31:14we've had a call from this address
31:17there must be some mistake
31:19it was from a child
31:20are there children in the house
31:22he looks dodged doesn't he
31:23yep
31:24nobody from here has called the police
31:25really
31:26oh i don't trust him already i don't know why
31:28there's something about his face
31:30may we come on
31:31get in that house
31:34i'd go who's called a child
31:36erwin
31:38listen um
31:39hold on a minute
31:40will ya
31:41hold on a minute
31:42why
31:43chief inspector of bonding
31:44neighborhood
31:45so can we come in
31:46oh my god
31:49that's what i think
31:50chief inspector
31:51sorry but
31:52we'd still like to come on
31:53yeah good
31:54ashley
31:55step in there girl
31:56tell him i'm coming in
31:57oh
31:58spooky children
32:03oh what was this
32:07oh is this his wife
32:08what's going on
32:12it's all a bit frosty in the house
32:13isn't it
32:14you can feel the eggshells
32:15apparently
32:16they got a call from this house from a child
32:18i have no idea what's happened to her
32:21she looks petrified innit
32:22yeah
32:23he looks guilty mate
32:24he looks shady
32:25he's very guilty
32:26he's very guilty and she's trying to she's gonna try and cover up for him
32:29er
32:30olivia was saying that yesterday a police officer came out to her classroom
32:34she was in the living room
32:36a while ago
32:37um
32:38planner came on my phone
32:39no
32:40not buying it
32:41there we go
32:42not buying it
32:43not buying it
32:44oh
32:45they're making a story up here aren't they
32:47do you mind if i talk to her
32:48oh
32:49that's it ashley
32:50that's it
32:51i think i just go and talk to her
32:52aww
32:53use authority go and speak to the kid
32:56er
32:57here she is
32:58oh god look at her
32:59hey sweeney
33:01now er
33:02olivia
33:03er
33:04you called the police by accident
33:05on daddy's phone didn't you
33:07oh
33:08oh
33:09she's coercing her what to say
33:10hmm
33:11you called him by accident on daddy's phone didn't you
33:14we just wanted to make sure everything was all right
33:16are you okay
33:17doesn't look all right does she
33:19well how does she take it further
33:21she's in a difficult position ashling isn't she
33:24oh
33:27oh
33:28side eye to dad
33:29yeah
33:30dad's a rotter
33:31she's scared of saying anything because of him
33:33what do you say love you
33:34sorry
33:35aww
33:36oh
33:37christ man
33:38it's grand
33:39don't worry
33:40these things happen
33:41you see he's so controlling isn't he
33:45lock him up
33:46lock him up
33:48i don't trust that man's big looming head
33:51no i don't
33:52the energy's off in tech
33:53taser him
33:54excuse me
33:55what did you say your name was again
33:56angela
33:57oh
33:58she said angela
34:00that's the code word
34:01yeah that's the code
34:02ask angela
34:03why is angela
34:04if you're ever in trouble at a bar
34:06or you need help
34:07is it angela
34:08it's ask for angela
34:09oh
34:10she just asked for angela
34:12oh
34:14she did
34:15maybe it was a mistake
34:16it wasn't a mistake tommy
34:18that was not a mistake bro
34:19yeah
34:20like come on my guy
34:21oh tommy come on
34:22tommy you're not much of a cop are you
34:24ashlyn
34:25what can we do
34:26i mean
34:27we didn't see anything suspicious
34:29yeah but she's asked for angela you've got to help her
34:32like nothing
34:33he's gonna hurt them
34:34yeah
34:35i know he is
34:36because i can tell the look on him he's gonna give him a clout
34:39later
34:40with her concerns going unheard
34:42ashlyn took matters into her own hands
34:45oh
34:47oh she's outside the house
34:48she's outside the house
34:49maybe she'll see a silhouette
34:52of malpractice
34:56no she's going in
34:58this is a situation you've got to be right about
35:00yeah
35:01because if you are wrong
35:02you're fucked
35:03yeah
35:06listen
35:07i can hear him shouting
35:08i ain't told you you stupid bitch
35:10i told you
35:11i knew it
35:12i am
35:13he's a piece of shit
35:14she was right
35:15she's followed her instinct
35:16she was right
35:17now get some backup
35:18over here in line
35:19oh
35:20oh god
35:21oh that poor woman
35:22oh my god
35:23you know what
35:25scum
35:26hurry the fuck up
35:28what's he gonna do
35:30he's not gonna hit her is he
35:31he's gonna beat her up
35:32turn her eyes
35:33oh my god
35:35he's choking her
35:36no
35:37no
35:38no
35:39she's going in
35:40go on
35:41oh she's off duty though
35:42go in actually
35:43don't matter
35:44go on to sleep
35:46bye
35:48oh
35:49oh
35:50good last
35:51go ashley
35:53she's in deep shit now
35:55deep shit
35:56definitely
35:57oh that was quite harrowing that wasn't it
35:59you know what
36:01that's normal day to day for some people you know
36:03too many people
36:04bloody hell
36:05you know he's very lucky that she opted for the baton and not the gun
36:09well
36:10because if that were me i'd have got in that back door and shot his cock off
36:14i just don't think blowing somebody's cock off is the answer
36:17well it is for me
36:18well it is for me
36:19we'll have to agree to disagree then
36:29in blackpool
36:31tell you what i got woken up this morning
36:33either
36:34pete and his little sister sophie
36:36which is accidentally need me in the groin this morning train away she was doing the whole
36:42i'm going to go and wake daddy up mommy and i thought i thought i'll play yeah i played
36:45by hard one with sleep he jumped on the bed and come up to wake me up and she's gonna and she just went
36:51up to wake me up and she was gonna and she just went on Saturday night the remaining celebs were
37:07donning their dancing shoes on BBC one can't be ready this on a session I know where else I'd
37:19rather be well probably at home we're missing kids but nobody's got a gun to your hand well you know
37:26they were doing me edit movie night you like a movie week don't be love the movie week I love
37:34Halloween it was all my two favorites dancing the Pasadena from the movie Thunderbirds Ross King
37:41and you Peter Chris come on Ross don't cock this up love the Paso Doble is intense man
37:46five four three three three two one Thunderbirds are gold
37:58oh I thought those actually were puppets no there's the people Mary those are the contestants yes
38:07this would be ideal for Ross because he's very wooden they played into his strength haven't they
38:16look at the belly could he have his chest out a bit more please
38:23there's not really much going on is there it's more like a march isn't it yeah he's a bit
38:32written poop I guarantee but he's Scottish so we have to see yeah come on Ross
38:39no no anyone could do that this ain't dancing is it let's be honest
38:53can't believe I'm watching this so bad at the other week doing this I mean what kind of dance is this
39:08called shit that's what it's called
39:10yes done you've been stunned by that haven't you do you know the best bit about it was it finished yeah
39:25in Leeds I cannot believe how long Nat was at yours yesterday doing them radiators
39:35honestly I'm mortified and that he came home and says to me um have you got anything for me to eat
39:42I says well did Izzy not feed you sisters Ellie and Izzy I've made the dinner I said she'll plate
39:48you some up Nat do you want me to plate you it up and you can take it home no thank you no no no no
39:54no no no no as if there were a full Sunday dinner on offer roast chicken hot out the oven and he said
40:01no I know and you know what he says to me when he got in well I thought you'd have been to the shop
40:06and got a summer I had not been to the shop well I knew that anything I knew you better than Nat knew
40:12you in that moment hence me trying to force feed Nat chicken and do you know what he ended up having
40:17when he got home what an omelette how depressing this week we caught up with the misfits from MI5
40:25on Apple TV plus the only bad thing about slow horses I think is it's not on every night
40:31because it's so wonderful we're spoilt for dramas at the minute especially with slow horses ain't we
40:37they're like but who wants to go out when that's on
40:40you've got a hunker down get the wine out get the snacks there and just watch it ain't you
40:47oh my gosh you're gonna blow his head off you're gonna blow his head off on stage
40:55that's one of the the mayor candidates into yeah gonna blow his head off he said
41:00vote Dennis Kimball he's one of the candidates yeah so there's two rallies going on today and
41:09they don't actually know which one the shoot was going to Conway Hall weren't we at didn't we have
41:16our wedding reception in there we did we did we did didn't we yeah
41:23so is that two of the slow horses River and Co there's a lot of bald heads yeah is this the far
41:38right type of I think this is the far right oh yeah all right let's check sight lines it's an auditorium and a stage so it's one big sight line
41:47the scoping out the joint to see where the assassins could be see where the threat is
41:53this is the rival event darling this is the Jaffrey event it's a bit of a different environment they're very different
42:02yeah very different we need to sit through his speech it'll be bland but inoffensive Shirley and Standish
42:12they've gone to the other venue aren't they so they've sent the two women to one and the two blokes to
42:16another where's the sense in that oh oh who's that hang on hang on what's going on
42:24all this she's spotted a rat and shake he's shit out on sports you just ever rules really yeah we
42:33haven't got you down I got to call from maintenance it's the shooter yes it is there he is you were on
42:39the telephone earlier saying he was gonna blow someone's header lights in the ladies toilets broke
42:44they're not gonna let him in surely well they wouldn't have a TV show if they didn't let him
42:48in well at least now we know which rally the assassination is gonna take place that yeah
42:53it's gonna be Jeffrey's isn't it okay fine oh no no no no no good for lack lack security
43:03please Shirley I hope you're following him she's definitely on him yeah there's Jeffrey oh
43:12gladio oh no he's about to come on stage oh my god it's got a bullseye view from there
43:33what I just got to do something now come on Sandy let's don't need to go do something now
43:41why do you hate motorists yeah yeah that is how to do with it call him a wanker call him a
43:48wanker throw you water at it yes go on Shirley yes lick him down come on Shirley oh my fucking god
44:01shit he's fighting back oh right the face the steam right in the face man blind yourself oh he's got away
44:15that's the kind of thing that happens in Scooby-Doo where some it creates steam and they vanish yeah yeah
44:21it's just a big episode of Scooby-Doo come on you've been down before maybe they never find out we're back at
44:30Gimbal's now what's going on here Gimbal I asked you for face to face not now this is Jeffrey's chief
44:35of staff Bowman what is he doing here anything he's getting into it with a man outside the stage
44:43door oh no they're gonna think now that Bowman is there to kill Gimbal you're barking up the wrong
44:50tree lads yeah the girlies have got the right guy you two are bloody chasing your tails
44:55oh he's off he's off that's fast don't go in all guns blazing river just just oh shit no no no no no
45:09river you've got the wrong man stop it now oh my god we've got a shooter well this escalated real
45:21fucking quick didn't it it's just too exciting we need a Malteser oh oh no oh what's this
45:33oh flip it's like mousetrap this I played this with kids bulldog spirits alive in the younger
45:42generation I'm MI5 and there's been a threat to your safety yeah probably oh shit oh my god it's like a
45:49chain reaction yeah you doing the deep state's dirty work I'll do look out I'll do fuck off
45:56I'll fucking help they're supposed to be protecting him oh my god paint pot yeah killed by a paint pot
46:06can you imagine oh shit yeah he really is dead isn't he what a way to go I know emulsion
46:18he's feeling a bit emulsional about this
46:22well you'll find details about support that's available for any issues raised in Gogglebox tonight
46:31at channel4.com slash support next here on channel 4 it's not just this week's telly that's getting
46:37grilled tonight the last leg is back with guests Frank Skinner and Stevie Martin first up
46:43you
46:55you
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